*It's just like in an airplane. If there's a sudden lack of oxygen, you need to put your oxygen mask first before helping others. If you make yourself a priority, you'll be better equiped to help others!*
You could even use that a self check. Like you could ask like what/who am I giving my “oxygen” to? Is it me or something/someone else? That’s a really good example! Thanks 👍
I think it's important to tell that "prioritizing family" isn't good for everyone. Some families can be pretty toxic and self care there would be avoiding them/prioritizing yourself over family. Of course I know you were talking about yourself but I was just thought this was worth pointing out!
This is all great stuff Ruby. There is something I would like to add that I have never said before to you but I think is crucial now: please stop scheduling every minute of your day. I was so very much like you when I was younger, even down to putting my faith in priority focus, but it wasn’t until I learned to let go of the need to feel in control of my everything that I finally began to truly live. Do I still organise? Of course. Do I still plan? Yes, a lot. Do I still enjoy lists and tick boxes - definitely. However, do I also change plans without worry? Yes. Do I do things spontaneously? Most definitely. Do I feel guilty if I didn’t finish a certain thing at a certain time? No, not at all anymore. Guess what...life is 1000% less stressful as a result. Make plans. Have an idea of what you want to accomplish in a day, week, month, year, but STOP planning every minute. Allow yourself the freedom and flexibility to alter plans, to be spontaneous, to waste time doing something that has no productive value at all (I watch Made In Chelsea for this very reason), drop everything and ask a friend to lunch or ask your sister to go get a treat or just go for a ride. Trying to control everything will only, ever, lead to feelings of disappointment and disheartening. Expect nothing. Enjoy the unexpected. Respond to the disappointments and learn from them but above all else - LIVE in the moment. As someone much older now, it is a lesson all young people need to learn. We only have so much time. Make it quality, not quantity, not tick boxes, not “someday.”
I really struggled with my self care mentally this year, my wonderful teacher started to notice that I was bullying myself. She said I was hurting myself. So when I left 2 weeks ago I made a promise to her that I will love myself. The day I left she said: “look in the mirror and see what I see” I miss you Mrs L
One of my biggest regrets in life was prioritising my education over family. I didn’t attend any celebrations during my a level such as Mother’s Day and Easter as I was too busy revising... sadly my grandma passed away unexpectedly after this time. I had spent so much time revising that I forgot how important family is and therefore couldn’t spend time with my grandma during her last few months. Please don’t get caught up in it all... self care and doing things you loce is so important, no matter what time of the year it is. Sending love
I have really struggled with my mental health over the last few years. I have struggled with anorexia, OCD and depression. I really wanted to write this comment to thank you, Ruby, for how much you have helped me, through this rough patch in my life. Your channel has such a positive impact on so many lives and it has inspired me to fight my illnesses, no matter how hard it will be. I wish you all the best for the future because you are truly wonderful!
I feel exactly the same about week-ends! I used to be anxious when the week-end would come because it meant a lot of studying but recently I have experienced how important it is to switch off for the week-end
I agree, lockdown has been really hard on me and I've been in a bit of a slump because I missed school, I missed busy to-do lists I missed meetings. I've just felt lost and empty, like I was missing a part of myself. But now I am determined to pull myself out of this anxious slump and prepare myself for the next school year✨
According to my faith, even the creator of the entire universe took a day off to rest and enjoy his creation! And encourages us to do the same, because He knows what is good for us. ❤️
I completely agree that doing something you enjoy doesn’t always count as time off if it‘s loosely tied with work or responsibilities. This video is a much appreciated reminder to take time to just be in the moment, thanks Ruby! this makes me feel less guilty for weekends I’ve spent almost entirely on journalling lol
This hit me different. I was looking up your videos to make me motivated and be productive - which is of course a good thing - but this video made me realised I shouldn't put pressure on myself during this stressful time. Thanks Ruby. You're a great rolemodel xx
i am definitely also neglect myself and turn around and encourage my friends to care for themselves in the same breath. this advice is so helpful as i’m trying to finally start caring for myself in a real way. thank you ruby! 💕
love you ruby ! I get very excited whenever you upload I am currently watching your video, and I totally get your points every single person needs to take care of themselves, at least every day do something that makes you happy and comes from your heart not something that you have to do, even if you like it even it can come down on the small things, you can stop watching a movie you didn't like, you can let go of a relationship that drains you, you can not eat a food that you don't like these all are small examples of self care ! if you don't take care of yourself who will?
Love this video Ruby! I always feel so guilty prioritising actually relaxing over being productive with my spare time and then wonder why I'm so burnt out. Definitely needed to watch this today!
i love youu Ruby! You're a great inspiration....please keep going on. also could you PLEASE do a video on how to get back on track when one doesn't get what they really aimed for? Just how to deal with the disappointment and low confidence....
I have never identified more with any other sentiment ever spoken of. I was just like you Ruby - everything you talked about is what I was going through. Because of lockdown I have literally had a paradigm shift & I’m going through the process of changing and learning to allow myself to enjoy life & not feel guilty about it. Honestly I’ve never spent more time relaxing, not being “productive,” and being absolutely okay with it. Thank you so much for posting this video & sharing what you’ve been going through; it’s a definite help to me, making me feel like I’m going on this journey with another 💖
Your warm energy is contagious. It is a pleasure to watch you learn and grow. I love that you're reassessing priorities and making time for self care. Much love to you ❤️
This is the first self care video I've liked. My self care usually consists of riding my bicycle or walking. I love to journal. Being bored has never felt rewarding to me. I stopped healthy eating. I eat anything I want. I'm a recovering anorexic. I am going to have ice cream now.
I've been having this insight very recently as well. I'm starting to see that I don't take nearly as enough care of myself as I should and when I do I work so much batter and am so much more productive. I always also prioritize education over friends, family and self-care. Even though I love studying, I do it to the extent it stops being fun and that's where it always goes wrong. So I get this so much, because my friends always point out that I need to be kind to myself and practice self-care and I just kind of brush it off as "yeah sure, true". And what you say is totally right, I always think there aren't enough hours in a day to just sit down and relax and this has made me such a stressed and angsty person, and right now I'm just really trying to learn how to wind down and sit down and just enjoy myself and enjoy my own presence and the wonderful feeling of enjoying just existing rather than always working myself into a tizzy.
thank u for this video ruby ! ive been feeling exactly the same way as you. since high school, my life has been dominated by studying, but it got particularly bad during my a levels and then even worse at university where i had a responsibility to look after myself. for me, taking the weekend off was unfathomable, and even taking a couple of hours off would make me feel really guilty. my breaks would become a forced necessity at the point of exhaustion rather than built into my routine. and when i took breaks they were never very fulfilling or restful because id be anxious the whole time. i never let myself do things i likes during term time. lockdown made me realise things needed to change. now i exercise everyday and cook meals for my family a couple of times a week. i spend the mornings reading articles from my favourite magazines. i read for pleasure alongside my work. in the summer, which is meant to be a break, i make time for my friends and don’t cancel social events because of work. im feeling so much better! not sure how all this will go when i get back to uni, but it’s good to get into these routines now!
I always used to feel guilty if I took time to engage in ‘self-care’ but now I’ve realised how important it is for your mental health and recharging your batteries 🔋
I love this video so much and I loved how you approached it. Even though my problem is quite literally the opposite of yours (I’m lazy by nature, I’d happily stay in bed all day if I were never forced to do anything else), I got so much out of it and I feel ready to actually take care of myself and do what I need to do. To me, self care is working. Resting does no good for me, that’s what I do by default. Working for myself and my future is self care and what takes me incredible amounts of effort. Thanks again for this video, I feel ready to take care of myself in my own way now.
When I was at uni for my Bachelors, I never did work on the weekends and always made time for myself. Even now doing my Masters and during lockdown, I’ve made sure not to study or do any language studies over the weekend. I work out 6 days a week but never on a Sunday either. :)
I was recently finding myself in a really bad condition and unmotivated to study . But now i have started to find interest in studies since i have started to make a timetable for study purposes and started work towards my goal.
Ruby, as someone who has also been learning to enjoy weekends as time off lately, I cannot appreciate this video more! I relate to you a lot. Even though I had been incorporating regular self-care at least once a week, I had always been extremely hard on myself and saw it as a waste of time, always felt guilty. No more of that. Now I don't punish myself any longer for taking that break and I am finally learning to enjoy it!
I completely get you when you think there’s not enough time for self care, particularly when I’m doing a really big assignment or something, I will focus all my energy on that and feel like if I’m actually doing some kind of self care activity, feel like I’m wasting the time i could have spent working on it
I just ‘rediscovered’ taking weekends properly off about 4 weeks ago for the the first time in about 6 or 8 years, it’s incredible! Like you said Monday’s are much better/less daunting when you’ve had a chance to tune out from study/work/projects etc.
Exercise really is key. I suffer from depression and borderline personality dishorder, life is though for me. The littlest silly things could be dangerous triggers for me. But since I’ve started going to the gym three times a week and dancing every day, two years ago, I’ve really noticed the difference. Life is easier. 🖤
I can relate to this SO much! Oh gosh, I started an etsy store two years ago and it's really grown in recent months. As it is rooted in something i love (i crochet magical creatures inspired by harry potter/fantastic beasts!) it's hard to sometimes differentiate pleasure and work. So what you said about enjoyment vs self-care resonated so powerfully. I love crocheting, i love harry potter - but ultimately it's not necessarily self-care when it is for someone else! For this reason, during lockdown i made a conscious effort to get back into reading. During university (exactly the same course as you!) I found I was solely reading for my course - or topics that might be beneficial - and fell out of the habit of reading JUST FOR ME. No necessary benefit apart from my own mind and soul... but that is a reason in itself. One of my favourite quotes "you can't pour from an empty cup." I need to keep filling my own! I do not need to earn self-care; I just have to be myself, that is enough.
I agree so much. In school I felt so pressured to do well 24/7 and literally spent every second doing work. Now during lockdown, I've been spending more time looking after myself and being with family and this has helped me so much. Not gonna lie, lockdown has also negatively impacted me at times and I have had serveral breakdowns over being cooped up with only a few people, but a lot of good has come out of this experience as well.
It’s great that you’re talking about self care and trying to give yourself time besides being productive and studying. Of course your education is important but you are more important. And being productive is good, but don’t treat your self care as another thing that has to be productive. I always worry about you whenever I watch your videos because I’m just like “Girl, give yourself a break. Not everything in life has to be productive.” And whilst I love your productive videos and I enjoy how committed you are to studying, I always worry you work too hard. So definitely give yourself self care but don’t treat it as something productive. Think of it as a reward for studying and being productive. Relax and just enjoy yourself
Loved this video Ruby,this has definitely inspired me more to be better at my own self care even if it’s putting on my makeup doing my hair or putting on a face mask doing stuff that I like that I should spend a bit more time on myself that I have.I can see ur skin and hair are incredible since doing ur skin care and hair care etc.Love ur videos 😊❤️
Ruby I have to recommend a book for your “to read list”x you probs already know it but Florence givens “women don’t owe you pretty” has genuinely changed my perspective on the world! Sounds dramatic but it’s true aha xx
Ruby is right all of us atleast once a week must have a self care routine to relax our brain and heart because there are lot of things as a teenager we face and grow and your leisure activities might be silly for other people but we shouldn't bother about others and what they think people have always something to say . We must encourage ourselves to be happy and relaxed .❤
Thanks Ruby to sharing us this pretty advices about self care, actually during this period of time Enhancing my self in english make me bored and depressed because i need it so much for my study , so if there is anyone can help me to improve my self in english i will be appreciatable for him 🥰
I've started doing this thing where i wake up really early, play a good song on repeat and write a page about a topic that comes to mind. It always ends in tears but i feel good after. It's kinda like a stream of consciousness. Its so therapeutic😁
Wow, I really felt that weekend thing. I realised that I pretty much don't take weekends either and see them as a chance to get assignments and work done or earn money. Thanks for helping me validate the fact that they are important.
Self care is incredibly important. This year I completed my PGCE and I had to learn to priortise myself to get through it. However, if I gave myself 30 mins to an hour every night to do something for myself. When it came to observations and assignments I was able to pour much more effort into it and this was reflected in my grades. We should always look after ourselves and allow a time to switch off.
My favourite video of yours, hands down. Loved this a lot and I am so pleased you have found ways to feel more present and at peace - very inspiring video!
self care is not only having a day off or having a skin care routine... is also taking your meds, going to therapy, checking your health at least once a year, asking for help, stop comparing/putting pressure on yourself, stop with the mindset that you HAVE to be productive all day, stop hanging out with toxic friends, is cutting of the things that are draining your energy, and many things more.
Something that has helped me greatly with anxiety are collecting plants. That could be watering, pruning, touching, or even talking to them😅 yep. Crazy plant lady, but it helps.
This is incredible! Please remember Ruby, grades aren’t more important than you being okay. I’ve followed your channel for so long through education, and seen you do countless 8-10 hour study days. Please take care of yourself first, and put education second. xxx
Love this video, Ruby!! I’ve been in the same process as you during quarantine 🌟 just finding out that great results are actually a combination of a lot of small things, not only studying :) thank you so much for sharing this, and for all the things i’ve learned from you in the past years xx 🇧🇷
For last 2 ( 2019 and 2020) years at the end of the school year i would have mental stress brakedowns , first time it was so bad next year i was afraid of it but i tryed not caring about my grades and telling my self that i am studyng for me only for my brain only and my grades even got better all my grades together were 4.5 in 2019 and in 2020 were 4.8 and it might seem like it is a little difference but it is quite big if i compere all my subjects. SO PLEASE DON'T STRESS ABOUT YOUR GRADES, PROFESSORS, PARENTS, FUTURE TELL YOURSELF "I AM STUDYNG FOR ME AND ONLY FOR ME" AND IF YPU NEED A BRAKE TAKE IT RATHER SLEEP 1h MORE THEN SPEND THAT TIME LOOKING AT YOUR BOOK TRYING TO REMEMBER SOMETHING
guys, do NEVER feel guilty for taking care of yourself first. You do not owe anyone anything and you do not have to explain yourself to anyone. Don't feel ashamed for letting yourself be your first priority. Your happiness comes first. ❤️
Hey, Hope you had a nice day, Hope you are fine and your family too, I want to say i am enjoying this for now just watching that smiles and you, I loved this, i have watched it just 4 times so don't what you but i just got completely lost in those smiles, those beautiful smiles, i am going to watch this until i get enough of this and enjoy just watching you smile, That beautiful smile though!!!!!!!! Just take care of yourself and family, And those smiles, keep having those beautiful smiles!!!!!!!!!
