I'm Moving for Work Against My Wife's Wishes 

LOL yep. this pretty much sums it up 😅

I think he does care what his wife thinks. But it's like Dave said, she probably didn't speak loudly enough about what she thought before the decision got made.

He called because he is bad at communication and wants to know what to do, but does not know how to ask.

Dave’s opinion is probably more valuable.

@@John3.36 Are you sure he’s bad at communication? There’s not much to talk about. She isn’t working and he got a better job and needs to move his family to provide for them. She should start packing and follow her husbands lead. Is Dave a Christian?

I don't know about that. My father took new jobs and I'm not sure my mother ever agreed. She just went along and luckily always found a job teaching.

Thats a pretty unhealthy aspect of a marriage.

T​@sharontabor7718 THEN YOUR FATHER BULLIED YOUR MOTHER AGAINST HER WISHES!! PERIOD...

We did a move for a job, but we talked about it and decided TOGETHER!!

and both people need to clearly communicate their opinion and not just hint at it.

Yep. This jerk did what he wanted. From his mannerisms, I’m betting he doesn’t have the stones to actually have discussed this move in any more depth than just mentioning the possibility. He’s about to get a rude awakening.

​@@erikcampen8276Indeed!

Was temper a part of him and did temper lead to physical confrontations? Were there things in his life that his temper came from?

I think I prefer what Dave actually said .... "Shut up long enough"

Dave doesn’t know if she the wife spoke loudly enough or not. Maybe she did and her husband didn’t care. All of this should have been discussed before he applied

@@bennyjoey8444 Dave uses slogans to loudly scold a huge population of people who watch the show. Not necessarily pinpointing the caller's situation

Going to happen anyway because if he declined the job he’d always resent her because of it.

@@brianwaller7383if they discussed it before he applied, and decided together not to apply, then it would be on him if he decided to carry resentment forever

That's what it is. I don't want to be near my husband family.

It could be but it's not necessarily true that his family is what she wants to avoid. She may just like where they live now and probably have the entire 10 years of their marriage. She's got a lot of friends there and is involved in the community. Maybe s-h-e has a good job there? The reality is what is done is done...and now he needs to apologize to her, fess up and they need to go forward on a decision. Really, honestly, what the determination is going to be is how much does he make in $$$ compared to her...yup, that's true. If she's a stay-at-home mom and depends on his income, and he says "My way or the highway", the reality is she is going to most likely move with him, unless she wants to break up her marriage and family. As women, we a-l-l do stuff to keep our marriage intact and you will be dealing with a whole lot worse than just moving just because you don't want to...women who are married 30, 40, 50 years will tell you. Otherwise, if she makes a comparable wage or close, she has a shot at not going along with this move...BUT she is STILL risking her breaking up her marriage and family if he still wants to do this and she says "no"...which it sounds like he does. I would listen to Ramsey's good advice if I were him...fess up to her, apologize, say I'll rent in the new place and until the summer and the school year is over coming home on weekends, sell the house in the summer, move to the new location...and if it doesn't work out after 6 months to a year...you have the option of giving up the job and moving back or some place else. She may just need this time to get used to this new idea of this move also, which this will enable her to while she stays with the kids to finish out the school year at her current place. It is what it is...that's the reality of it all. Yes, he should have handled it differently...but he didn't and this is where they are now.

He actually said he was going to stay with his wife's brother. Love Dave sharing his heart and experience. ❤

This is so disrespectful and truly shows her opinion doesn't count...on the other hand, she should've spoken up a long time ago. This and other things have been going on for 10 years. I hope this call will instill some sense in his behavior and also allow his wife to affirm herself in the relationship. What an amazing thing it is to see a couple who is like a team, strong and love each that much!

I suspect he immediately accepted the job offer and assumed everyone would be on board.

@J Williams You are advocating selfishness. Me, myself, and I results in expensive divorces. This guy did what he wanted and then informed his wife. Since two people are involved in a marriage, this was a bad idea. Ignoring his wife aside, this wasba lame move. He owns a home where he is right now. Companies are known not to be loyal. So, move your family, sell your house and then get fired a few months later? This is impractical.

​@@sblijheid Unless he has a sufficiently strong prenuptial agreement, which no man should get married without; lest a judge give away what you earned. There are many more potential wives looking for husbands than financially secure men looking for wives. No need to avoid protecting yourself.

@@carladossantos1142 Better job, more money, promotion. That's great. She will need to get over it. Did she expect him to be miserable with inferior job?

Sigma Nation stand UP...

Oh yeah, he totally did that

@@majorleagues7366 a Sigma wouldn’t do this. I’m starting to think y’all don’t know what a sigma is. Dave is a prime example of a sigma.

Good on him

LOL

Right! He's so irritating!

Yep she needs to run…

That was my thought as well. Is he really moving to be closer to Mommy? What's the job, and how did he get it? Who is he working for ?

My thoughts exactly

To be fair, they only have so much time on the show. This isn't a therapy session.

There’s only two reasons someone doesn’t want to be close to their partner’s family: to isolate them from loved ones or because the family is toxic. It’s a 50/50 shot on that

I came to say this! I'm getting a sense that the wife doesn't want to live closer to his family. I'm sensing a controlling MIL in this equation. Particularly since the husband seems to be dismissive of his wife's feelings.

Wives are stubborn for their own good. They don't care if their husbands are miserable as long as they are happy. "Happy wife, happy life" is a stupid phrase. It needs to be "Happy couple, happy life." Apparently, this husband deserved better.

@@TheRealfan1 It doesn't sound like she said "absolutely not"...she said it might not be a good idea, there's plenty of logical reasons to stay where they are now, etc. Maybe she needs some time to get used to the idea and thus will as they end the school year, which sounds reasonable? He didn't say he was absolutely miserable at his old job, or he was unemployed and this new job was the only one he could get...if that was the case, it's of course "yes". I think Ramsey's suggestion on what he needs to do is reasonable as what's done is done. The husband IS risking breaking up his family by doing this, but I can see her possibly going along with this, if only to keep their marriage and family together.

​@@MGTOWmademeMillionaire777 lol ok incel

@@MGTOWmademeMillionaire777 just because you aren’t into women (or that they aren’t into you) doesn’t mean it’s the same for other men.

@@60Airflyte shaming tactic... that's old.... you are too ignorant... is too dangerous the laws that protect all wamen... but serve yourself

Probably. People get tired of talking to brick walls. My guess is she probably said stuff he didn't want to hear so he just put cotton in his ears and then did whatever he wanted.

@@Originalman144Yup, leading them to Divorceland all for money.

Neither is the wife.

But why do people think if he relocates with family, it's about him, but if his wife refuses to relocate with him, then it's about the family? The two are divided: either they go the wife's way or his way. One has to compromise. But let's not make it look like it is the wife that is more family oriented. She doesn't want to move because of her personal interest

@@noxesuculmes4831 how do you know? You’re filling in gaps with your imagination.

@@katie8325 I'm not filling in gaps. As per the narration, she likes her current neighbourhood and so does not want to relocate. My point is that whatever her reasons are, they are personal to her because the children are also interested in relocating. So why claim the man is the selfish one? Well the man may be selfish but the woman is selfish here too. Both are selfish and one needs to compromise.

I think he wanted Dave to convince her this was a great financial move for the family

AMEN! DAVE speaks wisdom!!

Stay single 😆

😂

It's causing him problems right now! xD

Ding. Ding.

I agree his wife is being very selfish

@@Undisputed00 agreed

@@Undisputed00 huh? Money isn’t the only thing in life. There’s lots of factors in moving away. Why would you assume she’s the one being selfish when we already know he didn’t listen?

Exactly.

Be interesting to hear her side for sure.

@@jeffkline9191 Absolutely.

That's exactly what I was thinking. Maybe there's a reason she doesn't want to move back to his family/ her family.

Same. Sometimes those things can be a little hard to express, but they need to be said. Letting it bubble away (or get worse) isn't going to help anyone.

More like there is a 'friend' she doesn't want to move away from

It sounds like she knows where she wants to live and he took the job anyway. In reality, he probably just chose divorce.

I feel this has nothing to do with communication, but respect. They had the conversation, he said yes, she said no, he heard it, chose to not listen and STILL made the decision to accept that job

They say communication is not the most important, comprehension is.

This dude sounds like my teenagers. Saying words but not saying NOTHING

​@@AirunDevon Communicate involves talking and listening, people like this guy just do whatever they want, tell other people after the fact and get offended when being called out.

This is the exact same scenario my Dad did to break our family apart. Oh I don't like the job after all, don't move here. Then he moved his Mistress there...

Yep. Moving far away is a two yes one no situation.

If he is the primary (or sole) breadwinner for the family, I don't think it's that straightforward. If so, he is responsible for the financial support of the family, and his opinion should carry more weight. He should certainly take her feelings into account, but I don't think a straight two yes, one no situation is reasonable, when the yes is "I'll be able to provide for my family much better" and the no is "but I like it here."

@@fins9584 exactly. And it sounds like she is not working. In that case, “but I like it here” is not a good enough reason to reject a valuable job offer.

@@fins9584 What good is providing for the family if half of the family is miserable in the new location?

@@Jamie-wh3kdlol she can learn to like it, just like the kids have to do

Exactly. Moving to another city is a big decision and costs money $$$. What if their house in Huntsville doesn't sell?

Was looking for this comment as I thought the same!! I'm so desperate for my husband to leave his job so we can move away from narcissistic in laws but it is causing so much friction cause he doesn't want to move away :/ we have to live in the same house as them as its a farm & it's starting to affect our kids too now :/ so I can understand why the wife is reluctant to go back!!

It’s not half HIS stuff. It is their stuff and would be equitably divided if there is a divorce, which he may have just started by doing this.

Cause you're "The Man" right........

You don’t seem worth marrying but I’m sure there are some clueless women on the same level as you that would try. Women, let this be a warning to you. This is what the hook up culture and p 0rn abuse does to the culture. Quit settling for hooking up with low level men like this. Just leave them to their own hands.

Yep, my eyebrow raises when a woman just doesn't want to leave an area when it makes sense & will help the family in a variety of different ways.

@Imapotato They don't know anything about the new area. What if it's unsafe or the schools are low quality? This guy made a hqsty decision.

Me ether I will Neva get married or have kids I don’t wanna have to discuss nothing with nobody

As she should

Maybe the families are dysfunctional... Out of the pot, Into the fire. Maybe he left town because of a fling and now he's going back and she is still there (happened to my friend)... Tons of stuff we could not know...

Well it is his daughter lol

Yes. So agree. I’m so sad as how Dave has severely deteriorated over the years. I listened in the 2009-12 years and he was entirely different. I know he’s tired of saying the same thing over and over, for 30+ years, but he’s ruining his own brand and name.

@@lynnroberts76 I still prefer Dave’s advice over all the other personalities. I like his harsh and straight to the point views. John Deloney is my least favorite because I noticed he tends to use a lot of fillers and just takes a lot of time to ultimately not get very far in the convo. It seems like he as a bunch of generic filler

@@budsmith5368 I feel the same way. John Deloney is best when he's able to have a long form (20-30min) convo with someone. To me, it doesn't go over too well in a 2-5 min live radio call. He seems like a nice guy though but the format for The Ramsey Show and his work doesn't mix too well.

​@Lynn Roberts Ruining his brand name how?

I guess you wouldn't exist unless someone had decided marriage was a great deal.

The definition of smiley face with a tear rolling down the cheek haha

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how do I get in touch with this consultant that assist??>>>>

STEPHANIE KOPP MEEKS, that's whom i work with look her

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That's problem with women: if something doesn't go their way, they want a divorce even if husband's way is better.

Of course, but he could have manipulated the whole situation... What if he has a girlfriend in that town???

I agree! Beautiful town. Probably moving to Hicksville, Southern Region. These little towns are rough as there is not enough tax base to make them thriving communities.

Alright you got me Now I cant get "Huntsville" out of my mind.. What's great about the town? What do people usually do there?

@@OTOWN2STOCKTOWN hello. It has been a rocket science industry for 50+ years. A great number of scientists, engineers, military contracts and all of the cottage industries that spin off of that. The FBI recently moved down 100’s of not 1000’s of agents and support personnel. A brand new building. Nashville and Atlanta are close, for getaways. Housing is affordable, schools are great because the residents are smart and living in the south is nice,easy and warm, and friendly.. check it out.

Watch paint dry. Also, NASA. Nazis were employed there after the war.

The caller wasn't a good fit with the Smart people.