Dear Kyle. My husband committed suicide two days after our son was born 3 years ago. He was 28 no warning signs at all. Good job. Good family. We just bought our house. Typical American dream. All I can say is. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to feel lost and sad. What helped me was to surrender and take 1 hour at the time and to be honest and say. I’m not okay. I’m still grieving but I have stopped putting any expectations on myself. Just right now is okay. Hoping you will heal and one day find yourself. Until then just be. Lots of love
Dear God what a cross to bear, that is desperately sad, ive lost my husband to cancer so i know what loss is, but you had no warning, no preparation - God Bless you always and your little boy - one day you will come to an acceptance stage, but there is no particular time on the length of grief - i can only wish you so much peace as you face each day ❤️😢
Psychotherapist here. It’s okay to not be okay. Your entire world has been shattered. You are literally having to change your entire life while raising two small children. It’s amazing you have done what you have done. Jenny would be very proud of you. She clearly had 100% faith that you would do your very best to take care of your children & you are doing that. Don’t try to put in a happy face if you don’t feel like it. It’s okay to simply get through each day for a while - do what you have to do. No one deserves to go through what you’ve had to go through & no one will understand your unique situation. You and Jenny have something very rare & very special. You had the gift of meeting your soul mate & also the horror of letting her go in this life. Take it one day at a time. Lots of people are thinking of you and your family.
And Kyle, oftentimes one day at a time is impossible. Some days one hour, one minute is the best you can do. I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist, and I encourage you to continue doing that. Please don't hesitate to ask for extra sessions if you need them, rather than putting it off until things are "bad enough". You're hurting and you're suffering, and a therapist can guide you through it. Sending ❤ to you and your children.
I have been a widow for 16 years and I totally get it. I still hate waking up alone, eating alone, watching tv alone etc. My friends are all married and although they sympathize they cannot understand what i go through on a daily basis. I was unable to have children so i am completely alone. I say all this to say that I care and I get it. It does get better with time but it never truly goes away. I will be praying for you and the kids 🙏🙏
My husband died 7 months ago and this coming Sat would have been our 33rd anniversary.. I too am totally alone, no family left...I understand how you feel...I don't think I will ever be happy again...not like I was....I am sorry you are experiencing this as well.
You expressed the pain and loneliness very well! It is physical pain hat eats at your heart and soul. While it gets better at coping it is always there.i am so sorry !
Two and half years for me, and like you it is a struggle having to do everything alone. I have a few good gal friends that help keep me sane, but otherwise I am still alone in my daily life. Unless you have lost your beloved other half it is truly difficult to understand just how hard it is on a daily basis. I have chosen to fill my hours with working and volunteering. Keeping busy and tired is now a way of life for me. I talk to him every day and I still am in disbelief that this is my life now. I so look forward to our reunion, but until then we make the best of this life. Hugs to you and for all the struggling widows/widowers out there who never thought that this is how their lives would turn out.
October23 will be 20 years since my husband died suddenly. I am completely alone as well. I was a young widow, with all our hopes and plans and dreams shattered. I threw myself into my job, but that just served as a distraction. I recently retired and plan to do some volunteer work. Nobody will ever fill the void of your dearly departed. We just have to put 1 foot in front of the other and try to keep going.
We see how heartbroken you are. I'm so sorry. I pray that one day you look back on this video and say, I made it through the hard part, and now I feel better ❤
My hubby died last August 14th 2023. We were together 36 years. I still cry everyday because I miss him all the time. I'm not ok either but.. I make it through each day because I know he's watching. I want him to be proud of me. ❤
You honour his memory in a beautiful way and it is evident from this alone that his passing has left a big hole in your heart. Of course he is proud of you, trying your best to continue when you’re not ok is one of the most difficult things we are forced to do. I hope you are proud of yourself too, you should be!
@@Mr93sharpei My husband crossed in April 2023. I knew in the instant the light left his eyes that my life would never be the same. The grief was overwhelming and I learned that it actually alters the functions of the brain..Go easy on yourself and surrender into the waves 🌊 of emotional upheaval , knowing there are calm seas in between …Tears are a gift of physical healing and purification . My heart and prayers are with you.
Dear Kyle, your kids are clean and fed, they make it to school, they have a home and a dad who loves them, they have the security of knowing you are there and you are honest and you are safe and you're someone they can trust. This is means you are doing UNBELIEVABLY GOOD. You are exceeding all expectations. Jenny would be so proud of you, so very very very proud. You are not well, but you are doing well. Grief is hard. Give yourself credit when it's due.
I know you're trying to be kind but this is the opposite of what he needs. he says he's not okay. he needs people to acknowledge that. he's telling you he's masking. listen to him. don't try to tell him how well he's doing when he's not.
The silence during grief can be deafening. The silence is the loudest part, it’s there always even in a crowded room. I’m so sorry for your loss, Kyle.
Our 55yr. Old daughter passed away suddenly a heart attack, in her sleep. We are all devastated but her husband is feeling it the most. Thank you for sharing your deep heartbreaking grief. You are helping me help my son in law in his grief. He will never get over this loss, like you. Bless you Kyle. It's not fair.❤
Grief is so painful Kyle..I lost my little girl in an accident when she was 11...cry a river if you need too...every minute if you need...I want you to know it will become easier and hopefully less painful..I know someone who lost his wife to cancer about your precious Jenny's age...he had 3 young children at the time...this was about 10 years ago...his kids are great and so is he...my heart just breaks for you...Your beautiful Jenny is all around you...feel her, talk to her...she will send you signs...I wish you peace and hope...
Your grief will bring you to depths you ever knew existed. Not only are you mourning her life, you are mourning everything you though your life would be. Be kind to yourself, don’t place any expectations on your feelings. Prayers for you.
We all love you and support you. You had a great marriage with a wonderful woman. Your life has been turned upside down. Have you joined a support group? They would understand what you are going through. ❤❤
Me too 😂 Sometimes maybe it's better to not have loved so much and lost rather than to have loved and lost. Queen Elizabeth II allegedly said that 'Grief is the price we pay for love.' Yet with great joy and great fortune the nature of life is that you stand to lose it at any time, and there is nothing much you can do about it other than deal with it when it happens. 😭I suppose grief can not bring back our loved ones, yet in a way it is a way of holding on to them
When you said "When I'm having a bad day a work, I can't call my wife to tell her about it" and "When I come home and all I want is the comfort or a hug from my wife, I don't have it," that made me burst into tears! Because I have this love still. I have my husband, and so many times I call him at work to vent, or give him the biggest hug when I get home cause I need it. Time and time you remind me to be grateful for him and not take it for granted. I am so, so thankful I still have him and I feel so, so deeply sorry for you dear Kyle, even though I don't know you at all. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful!
Kyle, no words are going to help you at this precise moment but please know we are all thinking of you & Ellis & Winnie. As it's coming up to the 1st anniversary, your emotions are going to be heightened because you are remembering everything as if it's last year all over again & that is horrendous for all of you, Jennys' family & friends are included. This time last year Jenny was very poorly & you were there for her every minute of every day. You are allowed to be angry, grief-stricken, sad & depressed. You definitely need to speak to your Counsellor or someone who is going through the same emotions as yourself. There isn't a right or wrong answer to grief, you have to deal with it your way. Nobody truly understands how your relationship with Jenny was, it was unique to both of you. Scream at the top of your voice across a field & keep doing it until the anger subsides. I know it's not the same, but your Mum was a single mother, so ask for her help & ask her how she felt sometimes, I'm sure at some points she too was lonely & angry, but for a different reason. Reach out to others who are in a similar situation & see if they can help you as they would have been or are in the same situation. You could possibly help each other. I wish I could help you & Ellis & Winnie but I can't, as a group of subscribers, we are here for all of you. Keep posting & ask for extra help from family & friends. Just going for a walk on your own to gather your thoughts might help. Ask someone to look after Ellis & Winnie for a few hours & do whatever you feel like doing. Crying is a way of healing our souls. You feel a bit better once you have cried whether that be 1 minute or an hour. Take care, & remember we are here with you for a reason. We want to help you. X❤
We love you Kyle. I wish it helped. I wish we could ease your pain. Please keep telling us everything. We care. We’re learning. We are mourning with you. We love you Kyle.
He feels like he feels. Never tell someone not to feel a certain way. The best you can do is to validate the feelings while acknowledging the reality that despite his feelings, he has not let anyone down. His kids are alright. They have a home, are well clothed, well fed, doing well in school. If, by any chance, he is truly not fulfilling his responsibilities, his family and friends are there to lovingly step in. It’s okay to ask for help. It can take many years to process feelings, especially the loss of a spouse.
A doctor once told me that there is no way around grief, only through it. No one else can walk your journey. Expressing your grief is essential!! Posting your grief here is surrounding yourself with the people who outwardly or surreptitiously walked with you and Jenny as this all unfolded. I can only speak for myself, and based on the limited comments I've read, but people are holding space for you. We are all here to sit with you on this difficult journey.
It is approaching the one year anniversary of Jenny's passing. The one year anniversary is so emotionally draining and poignant. 😢 As time goes by, the pain and grief will lessen, but there will always be the memories. 8:17
I don't think the pain lessons. It never will. You just start accepting to live with it or it will take over your life. It has to be a conscious effort. We lost our daughter three years ago, and it still feels as if it has just happened. It is learning to live with the grief. To walk beside it, and to not let it walk in front of you. That is the secret for me anyway. Losing a loved one is the hardest thing a human will ever have to endure. Hang in there, Kyle. Your kids are worth it.
Such an honest, raw look at grief and how hard it is. You have thousands listening to you, and we are listening and crying alongside you. It is just one small step at a time.
Kyle, your body remembers that trauma that you went through this time last year. As her anniversary approaches, you will feel the feels even more. Stay strong ❤😢❤
I’m sorry but to advise people who are grieving to stay strong is just wrong. We can’t stay strong about everything all the time. Kyle is pouring out his real feelings, he has every right to not be ok, whenever it hits. Kyle, to hear you pour your heart out, I am truly so sad for you. You are in all of our thought daily. Have you tried going to see a medium? I’m not sure myself about it, as I want to, but then I don’t. Just food for thought. Sending big hugs and prayers from Canada tonight🙏🏻💔
@@andreasalmonson7295 Don't go to a medium. Just don't do that. God is not found in mediums. The Bible says not to do that. As hard as grief is, as much as you just want your wife back and to talk to her, you won't be getting any real Jenny from a medium. She's in Heaven. And she knows how you feel. Maybe it would help to talk things over with another widower, going through what you are, because at least you are sharing the same things. At least you would have someone to talk to who understands everything. If that was the wrong thing to suggest, I'm really sorry.
@jeanblythe1595 well my loved one my boys dad communicates via alexas and light bulbs. He interacts in our conversations thru song. He was a big music man. There are other ways to allow them to communicate. I slow danced with my boys dad 2 weeks ago - lost to addiction left 2 boys behind...... it's hard but we feel his love when he's here around us 💕
That was my exact thought… That it is the time of year, especially that is triggering feelings from this time last year and the anniversary of one year of Jenny’s death approaches. I am glad you will reach out to your therapist. I’m glad you share your feelings with us. Everything you’re feeling is normal but you need help with how to cope with it all- everything you’re feeling and going through. I will say I was surprised and not surprised by this video. I was mostly surprised because you do a good job apparently trying to put up a good front even though you’re very honest about your feelings you obviously feel especially overwhelmed. I hear you and my heart breaks for you . As always, you and the children are in my prayers.
I started following your channel last year because my husband had cancer. I was sure that he would beat it but he died November 3rd. I know exactly how you feel. We were married 56 years, high school sweethearts. I have cried a million tears. I don’t recognize my life now, but your words helped me feel less alone, thank you. You are in my prayers.
Kyle,please give yourself grace! I may be wrong but you strike me as the type of person who wants to give 200% to everything. It’s not possible. Everyone goes back to their normal life but this is your daily norm now and you are left to deal with it 24/7. The pain doesn’t get better but you will get better learning to live with it. Sending you hugs and pray for you and your family. ❤
I'm sorry Kyle, I've gone through this. I also lost my wife to cancer. There is light at the end of this heartbreak, but everything you are describing is perfectly normal. Nobody can understand what this feels like unless they've been through it themselves, although they will say they do. Your description of how you feel hits home for a lot of people here. Praying for you my brother.
I can’t imagine the pain you are going through. Our loved ones never leave us. It’s just a change in how we communicate with one another 🙏🏻 sorry for your loss and pain ❤️
I am a widow 6 years in. Still cry. Became caretaker for my 93 year old dad who has Alzheimers with severe behavior issues due to the Alzhemiers. Yesterday, I cried and cried, wishing my husband was here to hug me. My ptsd from being my husband's caretaker and his numerous hospital stays has come back full force. My dad who I love dearly has become a stranger now as Alzheimers is consuming his brain. And like you I am alone have no support or help. Big hug. ❤
I hope you can reach out for help 🙏🏻 you are doing a wonderful thing for your father, but please don’t lose yourself! I hope there are agencies where you are that can offer some respite because it’s so important xx
Wow 🥺 that's just devastating. I hope you aswell can take some days for yourself, self care days here and there to get a bit of peace from the chaos day in and day out 🥺
Kyle...............just want to also say thank u for sharing your feelings with us because believe it or not............u give so many of us much needed strength......I know Jenny is proud of you...............I just wish I could change your situation.........words come out sounding so cliche ............ugh..............just know we really are in this together
As said, my beloved son, Eiric, my only child, suddenly passed away on June 9, this year, from two undiagnosed medical conditions. He was only 47. The grief is crushing. I'll never, ever get over losing him. We who grieve do not need or want anyone's permission to do so, or to meet their expectations of how long and how much, when and where. I'll see him again. But until then, I must trust and lean on God. Just grieve, Kyle, however you must❤🙏.
My heart breaks for you, Donna. My son passed away on June 6th, 2021. He would have been 47 this year. I know your pain, sorrow, and grief. Sending you a hug as we go through life without our sons. 🫂💔🌠🌠
I get it. I was widowed with 3 kids at age 36. It was the worst pain I’ve ever been through. Although time has helped, I will always love and miss my late husband, Kirk. Sometimes i could only take things one second at a time. My heart absolutely breaks for you and your children. Hugs, love and prayers. ❤🙏🏻🙏🏻
I was widowed at 41 with 5 children, and yes, many times I survived only one second at a time. I remember other widows telling me that would be the case and by doing that, that is how I would ultimately survive. 💗💗
I lost my husband when I was 38. I thank God for our two children, who gave me the purpose to keep on living each day. I will always miss him until I'm back with him on the other side. There has never been anyone else for me, but him. We would have been married 41 yrs if he'd lived.
Sending love and prayers to you Kyle. You will never stop loving and missing her because she was your soulmate. It’s brave to admit your struggles. There is no timeframe for grief.
Noone....literally noone would be doing okay after what you have gone through and still are going through. You are not only still grieving, but you also have two children you are responsible for and have to be strong for. I can't imagine how hard this must be. We all need social and emotional support, doing things on your own is freaking HARD. And Jenny was such an amazing human being, one of the best souls to ever walk the earth. Now she is shining from above. Kyle, give yourself grace. Its OK to be tired and sad and depressed after what you experienced. It's more than OK to miss your wife as much as you do. This is just a testament of how much love the two of you shared. Unfortunately, the memories will have to be enough until we all meet again. I believe in you, Kyle.
Oh Kyle, I’ve been a divorced, single Parent for 4 years now. It is nothing compared to your tremendous loss. But your thoughtful, selfless, honesty gets me through my hard days. I say, “If Kyle can do it, then I can too.” Thank u ❤
My dear Kyle,thank you for your honest tears.You touch my heart.Struggling with Stage 4 Cancer I know I have to leave my beloved husband.Most of the time it's harder than thinking of dying.You find the right words,I can feel your pain.I hope desperatly you will feel better someday....you deserve it.Jenny wants it.Sending lots of love and understanding......
Im struggling with you sir. I wish I could hug you man. I need one too. I just started on your exact same path. My wife has about a year. I dont know how Ill do it without her. She's my best friend. Watching you gives me hope and inspiration.
Kyle, I'm watching my sister struggle trying to raise three young boys after losing her beloved husband two years ago! She is experiencing what you are going through! Praying for you!
I truly get it. My husband passed in January. It seems at times the grief gets worse not better. I’ll have good days and a couple of sad days. It’s just a process. I miss the hugs too. 😢prayers Kyle!
We love you Kyle. It’s okay to feel everything you are feeling. You are human. You are so loved even when it doesn’t feel like it. Grief is forever, but so is compassion and love. Your wife is looking down on you so proud with how well you are raising your kids. When we feel such an intense lack of hope, we tend to look inwards and blame ourselves, but in a situation like this it’s harder, because no one is to blame. We have to accept life and it’s gifts as much as he have to accept life’s sorrow and pain. I promise you will see your wife again. She has left us physically, but she will never leave spiritually. She is all around us
Crying with you and asking Jesus to be your strength when you have no strength left. You are such an awesome dad to those kids and even though you are parenting with a broken heart, you are doing it WELL!!❤️🙏
I lost my husband when my twin girls were 8 years old. I grieved for 10 years. What I learned through this time is take it one step at a time. One crisis at a time and before you know it your children are turning 26 and very productive people in society. Grief takes very long. Life is not fair and it sucks. Thinking of you Kyle. ❤
So true. My husband died when our twins were 6, and our older children went up to age 23. So many people think you "get over it" in a year, when that is so far from reality. I've even seen those ignorant comments like that on Kyle's videos. You never "get over it". The grief becomes part of you, and you rebuild yourself integrating it. The first year is just shock and survival. The grief then begins and is such a long journey. Every single part of your life, big and small, are so wrapped up with your spouse and completely change on you, then you are told to just live. That first anniversary is also brutal.
People will say…”it’s been a year… you should be ok now”… no, never back to the way you were before someone you love is taken from you early. Everything is forever different… what you are feeling is sooo hard… I am so sorry❤❤❤
You are in survival mode Kyle....it literally is one foot in front of the other, one day at a time. You feel ok sometimes and feel absolutely terrible another. Don't ever worry about what others think especially when they're not in your shoes. Just keep taking care of yourself and your beautiful kids ❤❤
Please know we are all sending love and prayers your way! I’m so sorry for your loss! You are stepping up and showing your kids what a strong and loving dad you are! 🙏🏻
I feel every word you say. Since my beloved husband past away of stroke 46 years while i had radiotherapy for cancer. Now I am along on surviving mode. Don’t want anything. Don’t want to live without him. Miss him very much every second. My only love, best friend, my twin flame. Want to be with him. Big hug for Kyle, kids and pets. ❤️
It's been 3yrs since I lost my husband to an overdose and I know and feel your pain! I'm still learning how to live and parent as a single grieving mom and wife!
Kyle, I feel that you are grieving extra hard recently because you are approaching a significant anniversary of Jenn’s passing! It’s completely normal, and you are doing your absolute best! Is it possible to take some time off as you lead up to Nov 5th? We are here for you! ❤ from 🇨🇦
God bless you Kyle,Jenny is watching over from you and always in your heart. SO many prayers going out for you. God bless you and remember she hears your every words and watch for signs a penny a 🪶 feather a whisp of a slow wind. She is with every day.❤❤❤❤❤❤
My husband passed in 2016. I had to move away from everything , completely start over - and the only thing that helped was time , a new environment. And eventually… a new love . I was single for almost 6 years , healing , learning life , getting by ,,, but I always felt empty inside , untill I was blessed to fall in love again. Give your self time . Blessings !!!!
I wish this for Kyle so much. There are some people who can just stay alone for the rest of their life and be fine without a partner, but Kyle appears to be a person who thrives with a partner. I wish he could get an antidepressant to get him through this so he would be open to having another romantic relationship and maybe build a family again.
@@GroundhogBaby I'm secretly praying that God will bring a Christian sweetheart into Kyle and his children's lives in God's timing. I pray Kyle will fall in love again and his new love will truly love and respect Kyle and his children and also respect sweet Jenny's memory.
@@GroundhogBaby No to antidepressants. They numb your brain. He is actually doing well because he is aware of it all which makes it harder. Kyle will find love again but will take several years. He is young and has young kids. He has time.
@@GroundhogBaby apologies hope accepted. There are many kinds of antidepressants and many reasons why people take them. They do have a numbing affect on brain which is why they are good for certain symptoms. I think in Kyle’s situation time will heal his wounded heart. He is not suicidal. He gets up every day, works, takes care of kids, and so much more. He is suffering and aware of it. He is coming up on the first year which is hard. Maybe a very low dose would help but I believe Kyle wants to feel 100%. Xanax is for anxiety. I don’t see anxiety in him. I am sure if he is not sleeping his doc has some prescription for him but I have a feeling he is exhausted by the end of the day and manages to sleep.
Kyle, thank you for sharing. Hugs to you, your children and the people in the comments, sharing about losing their love. There is no time limit on grievance. No one should put that on anyone. We are here to love, listen and support.
I lost the best wife of 47 years in 2022. It felt as if half of me was amputated. I am so undone. I know what you are going through. I know how you feel. The void never disappear. The pain never stops. But, we get used to it. I can never live the life we lived together. But, we find a way of coping. I wish I was there with you. Just to cry with you. Not to say anything. Just to be there feeling your pain. But, .. .. You are going to make it! Yes, it will be different. But, you are going to make it. As a Christian, the empty promise that I will pray for you, is not empty because I felt the support of many others who prayed for me. I am praying for you.
Kyle you are such an amazing man. You were such a wonderful husband and you are such a good Dad. I’m so sorry you have to go through this terrible loss and pain. May Bod give you all healing and rest. God Bless
How difficult it is to be everything for everyone when your heart is broken. I think you are doing more than just surviving. It just comes to the realization each day that this is permanent and your sweet wife has gone. There will be happiness in other ways as time goes by. You are showing your children so much love and kindness. You are a special man.
It’s a natural process Kyle. It’s Ok to grieve and feel this kind of sadness. It’s a huge loss for you and massive change in your life. Sending huge hugs and prayers 🙏
My husband passed away three yrs this Nov. I still struggle. Every single day. My children are grown but I do help my dad with my disabled mother. But I feel I need to self isolate. Some people say that isn't good. But having a lot of people around me all the time is just a distraction and it makes me anxious. But all the feelings of sadness, bitterness, anger and all that goes with grief doesn't go away just because I am kept busy. The first two yrs was just about keeping busy. But the time came for me I needed to not be surrounded and kept busy anymore. It was affecting my physical health. I have to self isolate and just "be". I feel the same way you do. I don't have my husband to call and tell him something funny. Or have him hold me when I just need someone to lean on. I am left to make every major decision on my own and I want so bad to ask him what he thinks about this or that. I don't have that feed back anymore. I went a day trip to Gatlinburg (we lived close by) and the place we loved to visit is now so sad for me. I don't have him to go with me and laugh at me when I sing terribly in the car. I don't have him to talk about all the things I want us to do and he isn't there to get excited with me about all of it. Most of all I think I grieve all that we lost when died. Every dream we had died the day he died. He retired out of the US Army in 2009 and then worked for the government in another capacity that kept him deployed all the time for the last 10 yrs of his life. So we spent a lot of time apart the 34 yrs were married. We were so looking forward to the 2nd half of our lives because we could finally spend time together. We just wanted to grow old together. Working for the government for 34 yrs we spent many Christmases, Thanksgiving, birthdays, anniversaries, our children's summer vacations, and just time in general apart. When he died I lost all of our income (except for half his military retirement) so I can't move forward with anything we wanted to do. So I am in this forever limbo. I can't go back but I can't really move forward either. I am just surviving each day. I don't have that person in my life that genuinely has my best interest at heart. No one will love me the way he did. I can't replace him in anyway nor would I want to. All of that is gone. I have not figured out how to overcome those feelings. I do pray for you and your children. I hear your pain in your voice. You sound like me when I talk to myself about what I am feeling. I am sorry for the ramble. Thanks for letting me share my feelings too.
I read your entire comment and I don't know your beliefs but I want you to know I'll be praying for you. If I lost my husband I would be in the same boat as you are. And I know I would need prayers. I know I'm just a stranger but your story touched my heart. ❤
I feel your pain, I lost my young husband, I felt like no one understands, they think it's been a year you should be much better, i felt angry, I lost my parents, my two brothers, it was hard, but nothing compared to the grief of losing my husband. When I lost my parents and brothers, don't get me wrong, I felt heartbroken, but I had my husband to comfort me when I cried myself to sleep, I still had a good life, I was sad but my husband made it more bearable, but losing your spouse is the worst grief imaginable, I'm so sorry for you, sending you heartfelt hugs 😘
I’m so sorry you’re hurting so bad 💔. You’re right, all the support, friendship and family doesn’t replace Jenn. 😢🙏🏼 Hugs and prayers for you and your precious children. ♥️🙏🏼🕊️
After becoming a widow, losing my son and then both my parents grief is tough. Ppl often say “I don’t know how you do it” my response is I have no choice. Big hugs Kyle ❤
You are an incredible husband and father Kyle. Everything you are feeling is normal. I lost my 34 year old son to cancer 7 years ago. His wife still says what you expressed in this video. We all look good on the outside and feel not great on the inside after suffering from such a great loss. Jenny is watching and she's proud of you and the children. Hugs.
You were so lucky to have had someone so special to share your life. So you're dealing with a big loss but you are doing a great job. It a painful thing to lose 💔
Kyle I just seen this and it breaks my heart that you and those babies are so broken!!💔 I can’t even begin to imagine what you are going through even though I have lost my mom and dad! My dad 12 yrs ago my mom in august ! It broke me ! But to loose the love of your life and the angel Jenny was I just can’t imagine!! I watched her journey through cancer I cried with y’all I prayed for her and you !! God needed her and in this life we may not understand his plan we just have to trust him!! My heart is so sad for you and I will continue praying for your heart your strength and comfort in those lonely broken days and beyond ❤🙏 maybe you can get away by yourself one weekend just to go sit quietly at the beach and just remember Jenny and all the special moments you shared and just maybe God will appear and you will find some form of peace that only he can give you!!! If I could I would come and take care of them babies for you to have that time . ( for you) God bless you always !! Keep faith in knowing he is right there with you, HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU!!! All you have to do is trust and believe 🙏🙏🙏 love and prayers to you and your family ❤❤
We Love You nd them babies don't forget Ur Jenny pillow.. your doing the best that you can Kyle. Don't get discouraged. We are all here for You Kyle. Miss Jenny Would be so proud xxx❤
Hello dear Kyle, no you are right, it isn't fair 😢. We lost my Father early this year, and I find myself going through the same feelings and thoughts as you are (even though it's a different relationship). I keep saying 'I just want my Dad back'. My Dad also filled a role in our lives no-one else can and gave us love and support like no other. I think grief intensifies as the shock wears off and the true reality sets in. We just have to survive even though it's painstaking. Some think after six months, you should be fine. So very far from the truth. Today, we have cried a lot and it was comforting to see someone articulate how we feel and how grief affects us even though I wish we all weren't in this situation. Also remember during this time, you cannot be everything to everyone. And you shouldn't have to be perfect either - I feel if you don't feel like smiling (understandably), why should you? Try get meals in so you don't have to cook. Cut down on commitments as far as possible, even meeting up with people when you are really not up to it and could rather benefit from a rest. Thinking of you and sending you and your children, love. Yours in grief.
I am so sorry you are hurting so bad. And i totally get it. We never get over grief, we just learn to live with it. But it never feels "ok". Jenny was such a beautiful person, and a beautiful spirit. 💔
Kyle I am worried about you. Of course it is natural to feel pain and loss of a spouse. Especially if you are as close as you both were. You emotionally hold each other together. You both went on a hideous journey and became very emotionally dependent on each other. Now you are just lost. Please talk to a doctor about these breakdowns. You may be heading towards a full breakdown and then what will happen to your children? Please speak to a doctor. They may be able to give you a low dose medication to help you through this impossibly hard patch. I think you will start to feel a little stronger if you just go and have a chat to the doctor. Don’t let yourself dip any further please 🙏🏻 ❤
I completely agree ..it's obvious Kyle needs specialized help! Talking and opening his heart to us, is excellent.. but of course..by far not enough ! Sending all my empathy , from France, Paris.. And praying for Kyle and the kids 🙏❤🙏❤🙏 The loss and traumatic last years were terrible, horrible...and yes life is not fair. After such a fairy tale ..having to go through the loss of it, of your soulmate is tragic. Kyle is doing his best, showing how strong he is..but cannot handel this ordeal and severe pain..on youtube.
I think what he is going through is a very normal and he is being very open with his process. It may seem extreme to some however the fact he can express his feelings and is going to counseling, I think it's healthy.
Keep talking and expressing your feelings to us, Kyle. Many of us understand and are here for you and our hearts are with you. One day at a time. Jenny’s passing was a profound loss and it is very painful.
Kyle, I just love who you are--you are all heart and you are not afraid to show how much you are hurting. You know, I just know Jenny is always with you!!! We use the phrase way too much, but if there were ever two people who are soul mates, it's you two. I hope you allow yourself to feel her with you and maybe that will make some of the loneliness bearable. Keep focusing on your beautiful kids (and your kids at school--I bet they adore you!) and when there are some quiet times during the day, close your eyes and be with Jenny!! Love and good wishes sent your way!!! 💛💛💛💛
Kyle, everyones grief is very personal. When my daughter died in 2018, to this day, I can no longer cry. There is no play book for grief. Thank you for sharing Kyle, I so relate. Praying for your pain and I am so very sorry.
I lost my husband three years ago, my second husband 10 years ago and my first love fiancé 35 years ago. You have no choice but to carry on, you have your children and jennys legacy and wishes to uphold, it’s bloody hard and it still early days in the grief stage a year is nothing. My second husband died of terminal cancer and he wasted away in front of my eyes. I still have PTSD over the last two years with him, seeing him suffer everyday, he and I bring scared everyday but pretending all was ok. Hold on, hug your children close as you always have done xx
So sorry for your pain. I spent most of 2022 and 2023 watching my best friend of 50 yrs suffer end-stage copd. Ultimately dying here at home with me. Just me and her. Then just me. Trauma only just begins to describe how i feel. Now i am in end-stage copd on oxygen 24/7. And i get very afraid because i know how this ends! I just started Palliative care. But was referred to Hospice. As i told my friend, it will be ok. Even if its not ok, it will be ok. Because we believe in God and Heaven. I hope my belief is correct. I really want to see my loved ones again. Wishing you peace. 💗
Kyle, when you are ready, redo your bedroom. Paint it a different color, and change things around. Buy new curtains and bed linens. Keep the original items folded nicely in your closet.
Darling Kyle, please speak to your doctor so you can get some help. Your grief can spiral you into depression. Having some short term medication may just help keep you mentally able to work through your deep grief. Please Kyle give thought to doing this. I am so terribly sad for your deep loss. Jenny will be watching over you all darling. Love x❤🙏🤗❤️❤️❤️
Kyle just stay strong... plz talk to your doctor as soon as possible they will help you how to cope up those sadness.medications will ease your pain.God Bless
@@brendamacintosh9909 Definitely Brenda. Depression will not always go on its own and needs medical intervention as it can become deeper. Grief can lead into deep depression. A short term treatment program can make so much difference and allows a person the strength to recover. X❤️
This poem from Castaway reminds me of you Kyle.. "Thats when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket.. I knew somehow I had to stay alive.. somehow I had to keep breathing even though there was no reason to hope. So thats what I did, I stayed alive, I kept breathing and now here I am. And Ive lost her all over again.. Im so sad that I dont have *Jenny* but im so grateful that she was with me on that island.. and I know what I have to do now.. gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise.. and who knows what the tide will bring in. ❤
Sending much love and big hugs to you Kyle!! My saying the last almost eight months is that “Grief is beast that I can’t figure out how to beat”. I will mention to you again (because it is helping me so much) journal! At this point my journaling is me writing to my loved one what I normally would talk about with them. It is helping me a ton!
You and your family have suffered terrible trauma - it’s unimaginable - be kind to yourself Kyle- you’re doing the best you can. Accept love and help if you can. Jenny is irreplaceable and that’s very very tough to live with. Sending love and warm hugs.❤
