So true. A recent survey of 6000 working musicians in the UK found that half earn less than 14k a year from their craft. Google Musicians Union for more info.
yeah, right - i can pay my bills and have a bit of spending money doing something i kind of like. believe me i'd feel more accomplished if i didn't have a bit of spending money but were doing something a love.
She said even her own circle of family and friends in person have told her the same. But the point she makes is that sometimes it takes some people a very long time unlike others who make it big very early in life.
agreed. As TS said in that great track - Haters Gonna Hate. BTW if you can find the "making of's, outtakes" of Shake It Off ? You'll smile for a week. Cheers from NZ
64-year-old weighing in here. I’m in the EARLY stage of my music career - does it bother me? Nope. I am having fun, I am getting better, and I get my share of positive feedback from fans and other musicians. As they say, “Age is just a number.” You, Mary, are an inspiration for those of us who want to make music OUR way. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
My mother published her first book at age 90 and spent the final year of her life promoting it. I just released my first book at age 65 and had it reviewed in Shindig! magazine. My wife, 58, launched her own RU-vid storytelling channel. Sometimes you have to wait until families are raised and your time truly becomes your own. Weirdness is a virtue and a hedge against age. It's not over until they close the lid.
As a 75 yo painter, who has been at it for 50 years, I can relate to this advice. The grass always looks greener... Appreciating what you have is so important. I do have fans, students, and patrons but it doesn't add up to much money. If you want to do it you will. Thanks, Mary!
"Appreciate what you have", AKA "Count your blessings" is a major philosophy of mine. I never became famous but at least I have instruments to play and ways to record
Totally agree Mary. I realised in my 20s that "fame and fortune" were not going to happen for me. Music is and will be my means of artistic expression. I spent 3 years playing in bands in Europe. Wrote a song that was released as a single in Germany. It didn't sell, oh well. I played in bands over many genres, went to the Conservatorium and got a degree at 40 and now am happily "retired" from gigging. I write and record my own albums at home and am very happy and fulfilled. I made a bit of money, travelled and met many wonderful fellow musicians along the way. The older I get (65 now) the more satisfied I am with my life in music. No regrets at all with not "making it". Regards Danny, Tasmania, Australia
you think you didn't make it cause you weren't good enough or talented enough? it's not ever gonna happen for many of us, but we can do music as a hobby like so many musicians are doing on You tube. it's fun to pretend we are rock stars
Mary kind of touched on this, but fame really does distort some people especially when fame happens to someone in their youth. Michael Jackson is a well known example. Child actors, especially those who don't get consistent acting work as adults, very often become incredibly warped and can't adjust to adult life well. All this news coverage because that actor from the American sitcom Friends passed away, and the photographers and "news" people are hounding every actor that they can find from the main stars on down. They even tracked down a woman in London who had a bit part in the show, they found her walking her dog and asked for her reaction. She probably hasn't even seen anyone from that show in 20 years as she didn't have a main part and was only in a few episodes, but she had a microphone in her face and had to say something that sounded gracious. I grew up in California, and I've had friends and acquaintances who work as electricians or carpenters in set construction. The entertainment industry is largely populated by sordid characters, and no one who knows of it is surprised by stuff like came out about Harvey Weinstein. It was virtually an open secret how he was. And the ultra-popular musicians often wind up on a path to very destructive behaviors. A 16 or 18 year old making it in any other business doesn't have the short path to millions that sometimes happens when a band catches lightning in a bottle or a movie breaks box office records, and that sort of thing can go to someone's head when that young.
@Anon54387 yeah, I believe the sordid characters bit and the Weinstein observation. You be surprised how many people would be willing to be a hand for the devil as long as they recieve his benefits. You can see this kind of stuff play out in retail even.
@@Anon54387 Really well said. I have read so many biographies of politicians, authors, scientists, and musicians.....Fame and celebrity status sounds like a horrendous noose. Furthermore, young, talented, top, top-level art-producing people tend to be flawed characters from the outset, insecurities, emotionally challenged and/or addiction tending people. Like many comments here, I play and make music at home and enjoy it. Chasing, having and then trying to retain that fame and glory seems like a dreadful lifestyle to me....
I'm turning 48 this December and can honestly say I'm a late bloomer. I'm truly grateful for the lessons I've learned over that time and for the opportunities I have today. Never give up on life. It's simply too precious ❤
I'm a retired 65 year old trucker. I watch for entertainment and a learning connection. You my dear are very interesting and entertaining. It's so satisfying to hear that you understand your position in life and are also happy to be just as you are. Thank you.
Well said Mary. I learned long ago not to let someone elses opinion become my reality. Another true saying is 'Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe' He's to us paddling into the future 😎😎
I have played the guitar since I was 9, I’m 36, never tried to “make it”. I am a musician, will always be a musician. I’m constantly learning more and more. Being a musician is so valuable to me and my health.
and you most probably don't give a shit to "music industry" but just enjoy the process. Industries are for greedy businessmen not musicians and artists (those are the exploited ones to be precise)
As a musician of 25 + years , the trauma of those early years still stay with me .. people will criticise , they will demean and humiliate , but they will never get past the first obstacle in music .. showing up .
As a 58 yr old producer and musician I loved this video. Thanks for sharing. I think if you’re proud of your work and it touches others either small or large then you’ve made it. You’ve made it Mary and I hope one day I can say the same thing. If ever you feel like a holiday come stay with my wife and I and our lovely villa music studio on our paradise island of Koh Samui.
I too was washed up at 33. I am now 60, and taking names and kicking ass. I'm with Team Mary on setting realistic expectations that do not involve entitlement 😁
Mary, you have no idea how much I needed to hear your message today. As I've been approaching 30, I've been feeling really down about where I am in my own music career. It really is never "too late" to find your success and "make it" in your own way. Thank you for your inspirational message, looking forward to hearing more music from you soon!
You've made it without a shadow of a doubt and are a true inspiration for your wonderful voice , musicianship and the insightfullness you share on your YT channel. You and Leo Moracchioli and other YT musos are the future of music , not the top 40 crap.
Thank you for addressing this topic. I had singer/songwriter dreams once when I was in my late teens and early 20s, but I soon realized that my temperament did not suit the reality of what I’d need to do to promote my work. Then another avenue for my talents presented itself: music therapy. My “audiences” became individuals and small groups with diverse needs, I wrote hundreds of songs over the years to meet those needs, I worked daytime hours, have been showered with gratitude and appreciation, and obtained all the trappings of a secure middle class lifestyle. At 61, I could choose to retire, but like other musicians who love their jobs, I think I’ll keep doing this gig for a few years yet. All this to say, success in the music industry can take a multitude of forms.
Absolutely no age limit. Sometimes one needs life experience to call upon to write. Your music is personal to you and hits me hard. You go girl, you’re fabulous as you are!
Fortunately my father and music people around me has always been very supportive of any endeavor I put myself into. One thing a teacher of mine once told me was: "If you pay some of your bills with something you love to do, you've made... the purpose of life is not to be rich or famous, is to be loved and to love what you do" You inspire me very much, thank you
Mary is always grounded and always offers sage, mature advice. No artist should ever quit based on someone else's perception of success. Part of being a creative soul is the thrill of the journey, the experience of the creative process. Countless people have had success, whatever that means to them personally, well into the upper years. Even at 80, you can suddenly be "Seen", or better yet, heard. You don't have to buckle to ageism and hurl your guitar into the bin. As long as you are loving the process, just keep producing. Because you like it.
You probably haven’t seen any of my previous comments. Short version: you are VERY valuable as a musician and all-around decent human being. Don’t stop.
Mary, so glad to see the connection with you and Rick Beato. I am a musician, but also a retired teacher. You and Rick are both great teachers and obviously enjoy helping others. Like the last comment, you are already successful. Keep it up, Mary!
You have lots of time Mary - it's also not just about becoming huge - it's about loving what you do and being exceptionally good at it.. and you demonstrate that with every video. Good on you girl...
If you're making a living from music full time, then you've made it. Dont need a hit song or be famous to enjoy a wonderfully satisfying life of playing music. Keep it up Mary, you've already made it! we love you.❤
So good! 😭😭😭 I’m a mom of 7 and sometimes feel like I haven’t “made it” in music. But then when I write songs with my teens and perform with them I know I HAVE made an impact that will last generations. And that is my definition of true success. ♥️
Bottom line here Mary...You LOVE what you do and side stepping the frustrating points, Your Career LOVES you back....and especially Your Fans too!!! That rabbit hole in the comment section has a way of ensnaring us ALL into it's verbally typed web. We all have been "captured" in that hole but we find a way to get free....until that next trap is triggered! 🤣 Very much appreciate you sharing what's on your heart with your Spender Pals and just know we got your back! Cheers From Across The Pond In COW-lumbus, Ohio MOO 👋
I love your common sense take on the world. It’s very refreshing to watch videos like this one where you give your opinion in a clear and respectful way. And I LOVE your singing voice and style. You have over 700,000 fans here on RU-vid. I’d say you’ve made it and you have done it your own way which is far more important and priceless. Well done ❤❤❤❤
A great message! We had to wait until retirement before we could follow our lifelong dreams for making fun and music videos, but we kept our hand in on the creative front while we waited. Now we no longer need to care about income (which is a fortunate place to be) we are free to produce what we enjoy and if some lovely people join us for the ride then so much the better. It is never too late to start doing what you love. I didn't even know how to edit a video until I was 65 😂 and we continue to learn with each upload. Keep doing what you love 🙏👍
Working full time on your music, putting out content, recording, and having a HUGE amount of people here on You tube who appreciate you enough to spend time in your world, must be seriously satisfying. Great achievement. From a part time musician (34 years now) who always has a day job.
Please don’t let anyone tell you when you’ve made it. Only you can set the bar for success. If success for you means playing nice shows, doing what you love, still have a good work-life balance and able to pay the bills, you’ve made it. Keep doing what you do, I love your videos! ❤
Great video! As a mid 30s musician who’s just started my own RU-vid journey, messages like this one act as a kind reminder to not let the pressure and expectations of age be a cause of lingering anxiety. Thanks for making this one :)
I don't know, if some guy in southwest North Dakota, USA can turn to his left and say "Alexa play music by Mary Spender" and your songs start playing, than in my mind, you've made it. Kudos to you! Plus, your music makes my mom smile. She has late stage Alzheimer's disease, so that is an amazing thing to me. Thank you so much for that.
"If you can be content to make a living, and not a fortune, from your art..." - Exactly Mary! Far too many who've made it super big have spoken about how their fame has become their prison. I've been following you for awhile now. Your skill as a musician has improved greatly, and it's really cool seeing you develop your interviewing skills on trips like your recent one with Rick Beato. 🙂
Right on Mary! Well said! Alan Rickman came to acting later on - something that has stayed with me whenever people say, ‘it’s too late’ or ‘you’ve missed the opportunity’. No, it’s there for those who dare. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your videos. Love the CD!!!
I'm over 50 and I restated playing guitar 5 years ago, it's never to late to chase your dreams and inspiration has no age ❤ Dear Mary, your wisdom words are so true.
I'm nearly there myself. Just gotta get over my social media/youtube addiction first. I used to write music religiously in my early 20s. Then came kids/family, and then internet also started getting more and more addictive over the years. Now the kids are grown and I think often about going back to my old passion, wondering if there's any creativity buried down there somewhere
This is so good! I’ve noticed that many who “make it” have their moment in their 20s, but it also can cause them so much damage too. This was very encouraging for me in my mid 30s.
67 years old, still loving music, writing songs, and gigging regularly. Now learning Ableton and making beats. I may not be rich but I'm surrounded by creative people and having a ball.
Wise words from one of my favorite singer/songwriters. Keep on keeping on, Mary. I've been at this since the 60's and only recently actually found a way into the industry. No time limit!
Wow! I love what you’re saying here. When I was 33 someone said the same to me. I’m now 69 and feel my next album will be my best thus far. Thanks for the inspiration.
Looks to me like you've already "made it". I've been making music on and off since my teens. I'm in my 40's now and though most people have never heard me play a single note, it still brings me great joy to write a new song. I have no one to impress and no one to disappoint. I have been hesitant to release any of my material online and don't know that I ever will.
Thank you so much for this video. I am an artist/ painter in my late 40's. This past 5 years I've been struck with illness. Im getting better and there is full recovery ahead of me soon. My health issues have been both a curse and a blessing, a punishment and a lesson. I am practising daily... the virtue of patience and gratitude... it certainly is a practise and I don't thing any human being ever masters those skills 100%. Despite not being a success at anything (in the conventional opinion of what constitutes a success), I am definitely far more content with my small wins than ever before. Contentment is what I strive for more than success these days.
The fixation with fame and "making it" is a silly ideation when you think about it. Do something if you love it. You don't have to see generational monetary returns to partake in something you're passionate about. If you aren't doing it for the love of it, it's likely that you won't sustain those efforts long term. What isn't seen here is that becoming adept in any craft takes time and devotion. The line about "10,000 hours" is no exaggeration. Maturity also makes you better at navigating that world and other people. Devotion tends to trump talent over time. Because many talented people give up when they experience adversity. Persisting in the face of comments like this is part of what it means to have a life long partnership with a craft that you are truly passionate about. You're pursuing it for reasons that many people on the other side simply won't understand.
Bonnie Raitt deserved a Grammy for her album "Taking my Time" (1973 when she was 24). She did not achieve huge commercial success until 1989 (when she was 40). You have the right attitude. I am hoping you achieve whatever you want.
@kevinasky771 I must respectfully disagree. Age brings perspective and hopefully wisdom that only life experience can provide. I believe it's how we let age affect us that is a determining factor in our outlook and attitude, just my opinion. 😊
I'm 81 and love your channel and music. Keep up your good music. Pat Benatar was a waitress in a Friendly Ice Cream Shop in my home town of Worcester, Massachusetts when her first husband was in the military nearby.
Based strictly on the views and likes, this video response has helped and encouraged thousands of people, including myself. It’s only been about 8 hours since you posted it, so I’m sure it will impact thousands more. Thanks for your maturity in approaching this topic. Those sorts of comments weigh heavily on many artists for a long time, and I’ve felt and seen the damage that’s been done, first hand. Respect! 👍🏾✌🏾🤘🏾
Heartfelt advice from a 65-year-old therapist/counselor who has weathered several major crises himself and guides others through their crises every working day: NEVER give up on your passion, Mary, because it will keep uplifting your spirit when all else fails. You've already made 'it'. Carry on making more of 'it' (what you love making most). You've successfully transitioned from the intro to the first verse. The best parts of your song are still to come, and all who admire your work are dying to hear them.
I'm 71 and still hold out some hope that my music might be discovered in this vast desert known as RU-vid. It lives in you and never leaves... You are an inspiration for many Mary. Keep on keeping on...Paul Bradford
Good piece, Mary. As a 68-year-old, I can affirm that you're never too old for music. For podcasting, perhaps, but never for music. (Of course, it helps if you don't rely on Bubba's Bar and Grill to make a living, but there are other ways to make money and keep the dream alive. And it helps if you don't place a higher value on money than on living, as you obviously understand.) 🤘
Dear Mary, you’re a very talented musician and singer, a very cool personality and a genuine artist : that is why I follow your channel and enjoy your creativity :) As a label manager in a record company, I can tell you very few artists have your lucidity and wisdom to witness the music industry rather than getting lost into it. Your today’s video is remarkable in that sens and I thank you very much for this life changing reminder : happiness is not the more $ the better, but when your income covers your needs in quality of life ! As humans we don’t want to be rich, we want to be happy :) Merci de Paris, wise Mary 😊
Thank you so much for sharing this perspective! I know how challenging it can be to keep a healthy positive mindset, and your words are such an inspiration.
Mary don’t fall into the trap of “I’m too old for…” you’re young, almost half my age, I’m still not grown up and I’ll probably never achieve my original dreams but the older I get the more I realise it’s the stuff you’re doing while you’re waiting for success that defines your life, enjoy it.
Too many of us are so pressured into believing what success should be or should look like according to huge advertising budgets and flashy imaging on social media. Forget that, it's all big BS. Hitting the nail on the head again Mary with a sensible reality check full of common sense, great video and message.
Hi Mary, with 706,000 subscribers on YT … I think you have “made it”. I think a problem for many, musicians, artists, composers, writers, photographers etc. is that the environment is Absolutely flooded with material, there is just so much of it around; some good, some bad and some totally dreadful. I think the real deal is to create something of very high quality and not care too much about the public reception, sing, write and play from the heart because this is where real humanity resides, not in a number on a bank account statement. Cheers.
Oi Mary, estava com saudade. Toda vez que você aparece, meu coração se alegra demais. Não entendo nada do que você fala, mas, (but..kkkk) só te ver e ouvir já é o bastante para mim. Que Deus te abençoe sempre.
I’m 36 and more in touch with myself musically than ever, creativity grows as you do if you continue putting in the work, just take care of your health so you can always continue to chase your music love. Success is subjective, loving doing It is all that matters.
I cannot tell you how satisfying and vindicating it is listening to you speak about this (and the various topics covered in your other videos, as well). It is a sheer delight listening to you speak about music and age… you are absolutely right. True artists are in it for the love of their craft and the expressive satisfaction, not commercial success or fame. Keep up the great work, your commentary is not only valid but essential.
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People have started their acting careers at age 68, never too old. I started auto racing at age 36 (even shifter Karts against 16 year olds), won plenty of races and many podiums, stopped racing around age 50 (2015) because I wanted to move onto other aspects of life.
Others who made it big after 30: Debbie Harry. Bonnie Raitt. Sheryl Crow. Kim Gordon. Christine McVie. Emmylou Harris. I hope we'll see that Troll's gold records soon.
I’m so glad this popped up in my YT homepage. I’ve been trying to make a living from my creativity for 3 years. I’m slowly making progress, but this gave me a much needed dose of inspiration
Thank you so much for creating this video. I similarly have experienced a moderate degree of success that has encouraged me to stay in the entertainment game for over a decade without fully "making it". I'm also 33 yo, about to be 34 in a fiscal quarter, and I have so much more agency & control over my life and identity than I did when I was in my early 20s. I've also realized how much fame might've destroyed me (my go-to mantra to bring me down to Earth is "Johnny Depp can't leave his house"). Without being a superstar, I've been able to create a decade-long catalog of work that I have chosen and am proud of. I got to grow up and hone my craft on screen (I'm an actor), but without the harsh scrutiny of millions of people. I have a small handful of viewers that have watched me for the entire decade, and I appreciate them more than 1 billion strangers that might include people on the street that know my face or a single role, without remembering my name, or knowing a majority of my story. I'm especially thankful for your example list of making it big "late", esp The Hold Steady, one of my favorite bands. I reconciled that I'm going to be an artist in one way or another for the rest of my life, and like you, I feel FREE, freedom one of the highest values of my existence.
The rule of age in music is, there is no age in music. I'm 63, I'll never "make it," do I care? Not at all. I'll never stop learning something new.. It's not always the destination that satisfies, for me, it's the journey, loving every step. Learning something new, that's success. And btw, thanks, Mary, for being an inspirational part of that.
Mary, all I can say is that , you’re an inspiration, I find motivation from watching your videos, something not many people can do including artists, im a big fan of your work and music 🎶, as a musician and a person I can say you’ve made it, keep going. I can also say that many of us musicians can only wish, want, and hope to at least accomplish a fraction of what you have done and accomplish. Thanks for your videos
Mary you have done well IMHO. I'm 63 and have experienced alot, I have had agreat career but when I retire in 2 years I plan on working on my passion, music, whether it be sound or writing. Building a studio is one goal I have. I have been around musicians most of life and have done some of things already. It is never to late to dream. Life can surprise you when you work towards certain goals when it is not about money.
I made a comment a couple of videos back, “How is this Woman not a Huge Star”. So many reply’s on that comment. You are whatever you want to be. Love your content.
So much respect for you Mary. Keep going. We're all routing for you. We're pretty much the same age, my courage to try and push to make in music has only just really kicked in. Thank you for sharing your experiences and for providing encouragement.
Okay my dear, YOU ARE BEYOND AWESOME!!! i'm 52 and been working for DECADES toward's breaking in film/movies/writing and in the weirdness I've always felt is that I'd have screwed things up had I made it earlier, and this in combination of the agent Bernie Brillstein's belief that "success will find you when you're ready" is an absolutely TRUE THING!!! Great job, I won't ramble further except I'll be attempting to make a film with (unfortunately with no alternative) with myself as a lead (yeah, it's an Uber driver thing where I'm the driver and it's ALL SHOT IN MY CAR!!).
You have tons of talent, Mary. In my opinion, much more than some of more “famous” people. Fame isn’t set by the millions of single or albums sold……..best to you forever. I will always be a fan.
Mary, we all love you here and your music. I can tell you what you want to hear but the truth is that God has a plan for each of us and its not always what we want or expect but is for our greater good. I wish more people would trust in him and accept HIS will. You have already brought great joy to many of us here on RU-vid so you're already sharing your gifts and talents with others. Give thanks for the blessings you have and don't dismay over what you don't have. Thank you for your videos and the joy you already bring.❤
I'm crying as I watched your video. It took a really long time for me to even start playing music in the right environment. I moved to the U.S. to pursue my dream of music from Japan. Being introverted added to it and it took 6 years for me to be able to communicate in English. It was when I was 27 when I finally could start my own project when covid hit. Recently at the age of 31, I finally released my debut single/ 100% DIY music video. The standard success has never been my goal; I was way too far away from where I thought I should've been to live in the musician life. Life has been slowing me down for what I wanted to be, but I will never give up. As long as I can keep on going there's a lot of things I want to say to this world with my own music and I cannot wait more encounters with other beautiful people on the way. Thank you so much for the inspiring video I wanted to hear from others!
I found your channel through the feed. I have been playing piano since I was 12 and it fuels my passion. Don’t give up or listen to haters that only want to bring you down. You have a great voice and I can watch your fingers when you play the guitar and I can see your passion. The followers that count will love your work.
This is an awesome perspective. Thank you. People who leave those "time to move on" comments are just showcasing their own insecurities and probably don't create much. Subscribed!
I have been rockin' on the bass since I was 19, now I am 65, still love to play, if you don't love it you will be full of bitterness, it's been a great journey and not over yet.
Mary, you are one of the most well rounded musicians that I enjoy on this platform. There is so much unexposed talent and you are very much top tier. Love your channel
I'm 40 and love every moment of musical trial, tribulation, and triumph all while being completely by myself for hours and days on end. The intention to gain skill and musical understanding is always underpinned by the intention to share music, of course, and I will be able to do that through my 80s (most likely). There are so many paths towards becoming successful with music. These paths can be lifelong and without industry-wide acknowledgment. If I am working on an arpeggio on the piano or guitar, or perhaps singing a phrase over and over again to narrow in on a particular feeling, I experience joy through this work. To experience joy is a success, and I am doing it through music!
Mary I don't how you define yourself, but watching your videos to me you are a wordsmith. If I never heard you ever play an instrument or sing I would listen to you because you have a gift with words, and the ability to use them to make subjects engaging, entertaining and enlightening. Oh and for what it's worth, I don't consider my career began to take off until I was well past 33. A long, long way past.
