The irony of anhedonia/avolition is that, oftentimes, forcing yourself to care about stuff causes you more distress than facing the consequences of your inaction.
The guilt about not feeling emotions for things that you "should." Then the gaslighting cycle that goes with that. Now Im over analyzing every emotion I feel instead of being present with the experiences around me. Aaannnndd, Im shutting down snd exhausted.
@@JulianLuckeeSouth I dunno about that. It seems to me like the issue can be that emotions about stuff only in my head were never the problem. Caring about actual shit, real world events, that’s the deficit. Hence feeling guilt about not caring is not a sign for movement in any direction. I assume there are different types of anhedomia. I talk about the schizoid PD one that comes from withdrawal into fantasy, which may be a different mechanism than numbing.
@@ninebrains4769 The normal (adaptive) function of fantasizing is to foster a desire for change, either by hope or frustration. But if anhedonia is preventing you from experiencing such emotions, fantasizing turns pathological (maladaptive) by becoming a surrogate reality.
my depersonalization and derealization is not getting any better, it's been going on for years. i feel constantly disassociated, from myself and from my life. i feel like i'm emulating emotions when i'm with others, and when i do feel em, theyre muffled. i feel like i'm on auto pilot all the time, like i'm living as a spectator, but i've kind of accepted it at this point. life goes on, i dont feel the trauma and hurt like i felt before. but a different part of me want me to feel again, just once, no matter how much it hurts
I have been feeling that way for 3 years now, and I couldn't even remember what caused me to be this way. But just recently, I have finally walked out of it because I was asked a random unrelated question, and somehow finally I was able to forgive myself. I can't say my experience is any better or worse than you, but please do not give up! Because perhaps someday, future you will thank you for holding on. (Also maybe ask someone close to you/ a therapist for help, don't feel guilty to talk to others)
im so sorry for your experience, ive been suffering with dissociation for years, and even tho ive been on all kinds of medication, mainly for my anxiety disorder, it still wont go away. every day i just feel like im a robot, on auto pilot as u said, soemtimes i dont even feel real and when it gets bad i hurt myself to feel something, i can say that nothing makes me happy like before, i simply dont feel like i exist let alone feel any real emotions,.
Edit: gonna save you a lot of time - start researching autism. Oh hey, it's me. After 13 years, I realized recently that I had been shutting down emotions due to having had negative reactions when showing them as a young teen. Although it has resulted in being emotionally stunted, it is nice to have the ability to start growing again.
Similar situation here not sure if it's the exact same as yours but, I got punished for showing any visible emotion by my father and I now struggle with identifying my emotions unless they are overwhelming. And even then I only identify them by their physical signs of them. Like if my eyes start to water I know that I am sad, if I start to feel a tingling numbness in my body it usually means I'm anxious, and of course, if I laugh I am happy. But any low-intensity emotion goes completely unnoticed by me like I can only laugh out loud, not just giggle at something mildly amusing. If you want a name to put on it since that sometimes helps, it's called Alexithymia and there are resources to look into relating to it.
@@ratoh1710 I am not a doctor, nor do I have any clinical experience with mental illness/disorders - I am only giving my opinion as a fellow human. If you are having trouble identifying and feeling emotions, have you ever tried doing a body scan? You sit down in a comfortable position, usually in a chair or on a pillow, and slowly go through your body and see what each section currently feels. Top of your head feeling tingly? Cool, we don't need to know why but just notice it is feeling something and move onto your ears. If a part doesn't feel something, that's OK too. This is about becoming more in tune with your body.
I had a very similar experience. I was the type of child to cry when I went to secondary school, or if I didnt have money for food. Now the only things that cause me to cry is a pet dying, a sad show or imagining my funeral. Somewhere along the line I had subconsciously suppressed how I was feeling, got to learn to undo that i guess.
Feeling the same. Feel pretty much no emotion, spending times on hobbies more as a distraction than something to enjoy. Might feel a little frustrated at times, but little all else. Feel like I should really do something about it but don't really care to even though I've wasted so many years and logically it can end up with massive regret in the future. I watch this channel knowing full well that I'm not going to apply anything to myself.
The fact that you are watching this channel in the first place means you want to make a change or you have a desire to, even if you don‘t feel it. Start small, and go up from there. Meditate for 30 seconds and go up from there. Implement this dopamine „fast“ for your morning and go up from there. Your future self would thank you. I sincerely hope you get better man, good luck
@@izigaem wasn't the point of the video to tell us to reduce dopamine and therefore get to feel the whole palte of our emotions again. And furthermore that meditation meant an hyperactive VMPFC which was counterproductive as well. At least that is what I understood, correct me if Im wrong.
I've felt numb for years and years. After dopamine detox and emotional awareness I'm starting to feel them again. Just so happens a girl at the gym showed interest in me. I'm completely floored by emotion the last day. Both terrified and excited that I have to ask her out.
Just go for it and be honest with her. The worst thing that can happen isn’t that she says no, it’s that that emotion keeps growing and growing until the day that you do. If it’s a no than it’s gonna hit so much harder.
how are you doing now bro? i struggle with this aswell, i once was able to pull myself out of the emotional numbness and didn’t even know how to make myself feel numb again it just felt like my life was a blur but it’s happening again
@@BlazeCrafter606 Actual worse case scenario is that she leads you on. Her telling you the truth and being honest is miles better than her using you for attention.
I have BPD and major depressive disorder and often go long stretches of time feeling nothing, just hollow like there's a hole in my heart. Then if I can't self regulate my emotions appropriately I go from 0 to 100 fast once something or someone does spark a feeling in me. Then I get overwhelmed then consumed by a feeling until I catch myself, which I have gotten very good at now in my late 20s. Having to observe my own emotions and understand when I may start to dissociate was very important to me to become a reflexive habit.
mood. this is incredibly specific to how i've been functioning. after years of therapy and medication adjustments, i thought i had hit some sort of "overcoming trauma" plateau and now i was functioning like a "normal" person now. turns out, nah - im doing far better in many ways, but now its at the cost of constant emptiness with intermittent extremes or self-destruction. be really cool to be able to navigate my new reality here soon.
Ive been upholding this state for like 2 to 3 years now.I don't feel that severely anymore like the OP. Though It did reach certain points like the OP where I just felt absolutely nothing anymore. Tho i'll say my situation was caused mainly by going into a stoic emotionless state as a sort of escapism from my depression
You say you've been feeling numbness for years now I want to ask you is it not better that constant anxiety and stress......... I am planning to not cure it....... What do you think you've been in numbness long enough
We're so lucky someone like you exists where you teach us it's not people's fault that they're not good enough, it's like not a big deal and feeling which/when/how intensely specific unpopular pain/emotions is a normal expectancy. I think maybe it's easy to blame ourselves and think that we're weak but you manage to set a standard to build confidence. I'm not trying to be nice, but thanks for your work. Some people never have had parents and they get bullied thinking the reason why they're not psychologically informed like normal people. But it's not much of anything to be ashamed of, because once things get better 1 time, the brain is learning to do it again and again. Self-doubt is lessened, confidence is nurtured. It's really incredible, you're like changing people's lives and you put yourself out there to do this work from a purely unselfish, purposeful reason. Which is really exciting because that must feel so fulfilling. And also it's nice to have an indian role model, you're like the only south asian cultural person I can think of at-the-moment that is deserving and kind of "safe" to believe their information. Spirituality is cool but I'm used to stupid/unintelligent/nonsensical interpretations. I'm sorry if I offend people, but this needs to be said 'out loud'.
Frankly if I became successful, I don't think I would have been able to be happy. But now I feel like, maybe I can 'chase' after the first, to get the second as a nonexpectation. You're the man. And a nerd like us. Thanks Gamer.
@@sikhbro5421 Maybe ... But for me I will blame myself for being weak ... This way I get motivated to work even harder ... I will tell myself it's my fault ... Get low for sometime and then realise I need to work hard and get better than my previous self ... This is the way I rule out most of the flaws of things I do...
ive had this i believe (not diagnosed) and now that i look back at it, i actually healed just the way dr. k described it. first i forcibly removed all the stimuli, then i had to deal with negative emotions, which at that point in time i was actually glad that i as experiencing them and after like 4 years with constant therapy i feel actually content as a person! haha and i never knew this kind of thing had a name even though i told my therapists about it :/ which is kinda disappointing now that i think about it
oh fuck, that sucrose thing blew my mind. i have several examples of experiencing this in different ways - i just started feeling emotions again this past year and i still have several things that were "i should enjoy this i just don't" that turned into "i do enjoy this but only if it's a lot at once and i'm feeling good that day" whoa. i've had no emotions for 16 years and i feel like i'm learning how to be alive, a person, when i'm almost 30. i've been through lots of therapists and none of them have identified this for me. thank you.
I didn't even know I was feeling this way for the past year or so. I just thought it'd a phase which will eventually pass. I've got the most important exam of my life at this stage in a week and somehow I don't care about it a bit but when Dr. K read that post I felt that little knot in the stomach. Will definitely try doing this, though. Soon.
This is a miracle that you upload this. Had been struggling with anhedonia as a single symptom without any surrounding disorders such as clinical depression. Although, later on it manifested into major depression because I lost hope. It was very hard to explain to your friends and family and specifically label it with the scientific term “anhedonia” so I felt a lot of frustration trying to be understood these past 2 years. I did theorize that high stress and anxiety did somewhat enable some part of the brain to shut down in order to not be overwhelmed with the negative emotions and it acted like a defense mechanism in a way. After all, your mind and body were protecting you.
What’s messed up is that basically all I feel is anxiety. I do not get sad/happy/angry or whatever. I either feel completely nothing (when I am alone) stressed out (when I do something hard) or anxious (when I am in social situations. All the good feelings are gone but some of the bad ones are still strong.
This is very interesting because my reaction to negative emotions is to try to cause myself to be numb but in the back of my head I’m feeling negative emotion because I’m numb… it’s like feeling negative emotion through a wall and knowing I cannot handle the full feeling so I build the wall to cope but constantly wanting to feel what’s on the other side
For me it's definitely the gaming and youtube that have me feeling numb and disinterested in doing other things. So much dopamine with such low effort is bound to mess you up.
Masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling here to chime in: I have related history but not strictly anhedonia. In case this helps anyone else, here is sparknotes of the journey of "resetting" my life in my mid 20s- My longest experience in this state was textbook DPD/DRD, depersonalization/derealization disorder. It was weeks of apathy, likely kickstarted by an overwhelming and acutely stressful health scare. Aka I had a trauma response and my mind went into protection mode. I felt like I was the person behind my eyeballs watching the movie of a life I couldn't connect to. A life falling apart because I didn't care about my goals/dreams anymore, though knew I should want to. Essentially I was the audience to a life I desperately wanted to care about but simply couldn't. Recovery: After sorting through lots of pessimistic research I heard the advice to stop trying to fix my state of mind, and instead just name it every time I could notice it (which happened to be 24/7). I'd say to myself "Oh, this is actually just part of the dpd/drd." I did this for a few days straight, and gradually came back into existence. My guess is that the naming was a meditative practice that took the power/fear out of my condition by labeling it as something real. Something understandable. There were ups and downs, it wasn't a straight tragectory of recovery, and I see myself as a person in remission who is just more at risk for developing DPD/DRD. I do a good job of recognizing and preventing that with the same methodology. After everything, years later I'm doing well today, surprised more providers don't screen for these conditions, since dta suggests it's relatively common. Hope this is insightful for someone! 🙏
I didn't understand how useful having a name to put to a state can be years ago because I was afraid of limiting myself. I was in an online community of hypochondriacs who used any diagnosis or self diagnosis as an excuse to avoid doing anything they didn't want to, which reinforced the belief I inherited from my parents that mental illnesses is overdiagnosed or abused. I had to get away from outside influences for a while and do my own research.
@@ApahtieParty i can reccommend a book that helped me when existential angst was much more pressing.. illusions by the author richard bach. i hope that helps you as much as it helped me. a feeling of genuine timeless engagement is generally a sign of getting warmer.
Emotional intensity cannot be turned down for negative emotions and up for positive emotions. There is only one dial which is our degree of emotional consciousness. When we misinterpret emotions as separate objects, this leads us to think we can take the first approach. What happens instead is every time we try to push away the negative feelings, we also push away the positive, and vise versa. The solution here is to put more attention on emotions to increase the consciousness of them and then accept whatever comes up no matter how uncomfortable. All the feelings are already there, we just need to get out of our own way and allow ourselves to feel them. Resistance causes painful contractions in the body and suppresses the emotion while acceptance relaxes the contractions and allows the energy to flow freely and dissipate.
Kinda knew this as a kid but never thought of it to be a big deal... I noticed it alot when looking around old painful memories and accepting it and coming back to it rn ive been denying it.
I get what you're saying, but doesn't depression kind of turn up bad emotions while turning down good ones? It certainly seems like it can go that way.
@@bugjams Really good point! So, I'm referring to the intensity of emotions, not the ratio of negative to positive. In depression the intensity goes from a 10 to 1 and what comes through on that 1 is like a really unpleasant buzzing or dissatisfaction. Part of the depression is just that we're not ready to feel the explosion under the surface, we're afraid of it. It will be experienced as more negative than positive, but there will also be a numbness (generally speaking).
I've noticed this recently. I can't just stop feeling negative feelings and keep the good ones. It's like putting up a wall, but you're blocking ALL emotions instead.
I've taken pills and seen a psychiatrist and I'm still the same - hollow and empty inside. I've played guitar and loved playing all my life, and now I've gone 2 years without touching it. Something I could never even imagine before. I don't talk to my friends and avoid committing in relationships because I don't even want to be loved. It brings me no happiness anymore. Being loved feels like a burden because then I'll have to reciprocate and I have no emotional capacity to truly love anyone anymore. I play games because it's something to do, not because I feel any kind of noticeable pleasure from it. I don't think I'll ever recover from this. I hate living like a zombie. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Oh weird this would've been perfect a few months ago. What I would consider "somewhat traumatic events" didn't really make me feel anything. Stuff like my parents divorcing, seeing my mom attempt to kill herself multiple times, family members dying, I was numb to it all. I kinda still feel the same about it all, which is nothing lol.
I'd say that's some major copium. My sister had brain cancer back in '17. I had exactly one bad day. The son of her doctor told me, we were very good friends at school and go to Airsoft events together. After that I was numb to everything regarding this topic. Maybe I didn't want to realize or just couldn't that my sister was one bad afternoon away from seeing the inside of a coffin. It's scary when I think back to this, because I saw almost everything. Her looking like a zombie, her throwing up at night time, my mother's hand shivering and almost dropping the phone when my sister wasn't physically able to talk and just made desperate sounds on the other end.
@@warlockiii1846 I mean hopefully in the future I'd understand why I felt that way. Right now, the only thing I could come up with is that this was just my brain trying to protect me or something idk. Also I'm very sorry about your sister I hope you and your family are doing better
Idk seeing your mom trying to end her life sounds pretty serious, don't downplay how traumatic these things can me. An ugly divorce can really mess up how you view relationships and how willing you are to trust.
That happened to me too. I was watching my dad cheat on my mom with her cheating back for years, both kept telling me shit to try to justify their actions so I can choose who's better, watch my dad be VERY close to hanging himself but was stopped by my neighbor as I was in shock, my ex loved someone else, and I was pretty much taken advantage of when I became a manager at my job which makes me not want to work anymore. In my teenage years, I was broke and I had to drop out of high school at 16 to help my mom pay bills since my dad was dodging child support and my other brother was too depressed to work. Didn't care at the time as I chose video games over hygiene to escape and was bullied for it. It was hard enough to develop connections through being poor and no time but being numb, I didn't really care about a lot of media; video games, movies, music, and books; I cannot legitimately connect with someone who's a fan of something because I can't be invested in it; no matter how hard I try, I cannot explain why I like something without just using one adjective "it's good", "it's cool", "it was awesome". Anything else is me just faking it so I don't seem like a weirdo and most of my laughs are fake. I managed to get friends who just play competitive games and I was always garbage at those games because I couldn't really enjoy it or care enough to remember it. Same with music, books, shows, etc. I can respect the art objectively like superior lighting, great story, and unique ideas but cannot emotionally invest anything and I won't remember Jack shit. Still to this day suffering for it but I feel it has become stronger now. I can only feel emotions normally when I take amphetamines but only for awhile depending on how it goes.
This... This is what I was experiencing for almost all of my high school years. I didn't understand why. When I tried to talk to my family about it, about how nothing excited me, I looked forward to nothing (I was failing my classes, I didn't see friends, I had no passion) they only got frustrated with me. They didn't ever stop to think that I might need help besides telling me to figure it out myself. I felt like I was on autopilot. My goal was to wait, just get through he day so you can go to bed and do it again. It was pure misery. I would get home, and my mom would ask me the same stupid questions, like she's a damn robot "How was school? What did you learn today?" And I would always respond something like "It was shit. I learned nothing. There's nothing." I talk to people who knew me back then, and they said I acted so aloof, like I was always so far away. It's so strange talking to those people now, I feel like I didn't even know myself back then. I used to feel this terrible feeling, like literally nothing matters and never will. I would think "why not just kill myself if it's so meaningless?" and I even thought that was too meaningless to put the time into. My family thought I was being edgy, that I needed to wisen up and focus on school. I want to scream at them, hurt them, shame them, for not seeing that there was something deeply wrong with me. A kid shouldn't be walking around like a zombie unable to get excited about anything, even if you shoved a gift in their face. My brother was the same, only he's worse now. Why the hell didn't they help us? Why didn't they care enough about us do do something? Looking back on it, I think it's because it would mean admitting to themselves they're terrible, selfish parents. And that's too much for them. My dad says he's proud of us, for being so self sufficient. My mom is as hands off as ever, but at least talking with her can be pleasant now. Now, I either feel nothing or I feel like if I say another word I'll burst out crying. I'm getting better now that I live at my Aunt's. But just going to see them for the holidays feels like I'm right back where I was.
Hey bro, don’t know where you’re at in life but I promise with hard work this thing will get better. The biggest lie you can ever tell yourself is that nothing will ever change.
@@colton7928 I agree. Even thinking that nothing will change is the worst poison you can give yourself. I think my family has succumbed to accepting they won't change. Doesn't mean I have to though.
Saw this video and was reminded of a bumper sticker I saw that hit me pretty hard the other day, just said "numb isn't normal." Has stayed with me for a while. I'm an HSP and was emotionally abused for having strong feelings, so I took the hint from society and started distrusting and not listening to how I felt. Now can't even allow myself to have emotions when it's "justified" to society. I even had to retrain myself to recognize hunger and thirst. Side question, can you even properly reset your dopamine when you're on a NDRI?
Unrelated, but I really "hope" you're "just" a HSP since my case turned out to be ADHD emotional dysregulation issues (well and maybe HSP also, no idea) x-x
Very solid advice from Dr. K (assuming this is targeted for depression). It's pretty hard to do ,but if you can cut down/cut out "easy" dopamine like YT or video games for a bit, it does help reset emotional response to a degree.
Oh FINALLY Everything I could find online insisted that it’s only from depression and only for positive emotions. I’d taken to calling it emotional blunting for those reasons. Something interesting is that the faint emotions I would have sometimes started to not come from my chest At All lately (I’ve had various degrees of this for like 14 years now, but only this last year did this change) which was my standard way to experience emotion. But then after a year I felt some happiness kind of thing there and it /physically/ hurt. Like it felt as if my chest was full of thorns. It seemed like when you hold in pee for so long that it eventually hurts to go. Idk if that’s even possible in a physical way with emotions, but I sure perceived it that way I still am pretty well motivated. I have my old “likes’ and “dislikes”. I don’t get rewards from them per se, but I want to do them still. Functional. I’ll have to find a way to try this advice, though boredom is something I can experience as physical pain, so it will be interesting to see if I hit that point
We live in the most civilised, peaceful times in the history of our species. It's not the amount of mean people that has increased, its our ability to receive hate due to Internet connecting us instantly and effortlessly with anything, including mean people.
Yeah this is a miss. Your acestors were raped pillaged murdered, fought in wars where people were getting speared to the face with giant sticks. There are no meanies it's just you
on dissociation; im about to turn 22, ive been this way since about middle school after coming to terms with the never ending existence we are. sent me into panic attacks that continued and gradually lessened until they were gone, but really just absorbed into my identity. this feeling being hard to ignore but even harder to feel is the sole cause and theoretically the answer. i started seriously smoking after high school and have used it since not really ever taking a break to help cope with this feeling along with life. being sober is even more disconnecting and confusing at times. continuous life altering changes havent helped, ive been all about holistic healing, love breath routines (those help a lot), but id be lying if i said i feel much different or understanding. i try to find reasons to live whenever i can remember to amidst the fog, looking at the sky helps, but can also make it worse, but now im choosing to create however possible through music or videos to translate this experience and hone it in. all this to say its been a long hard fight that i never chose and doesnt feel really close to ending, but i know it almost won a couple of times and i am happy that i havent given up. all you have is yourself and your understanding of it and the life you live alongside it. maybe it will end, not going to promise something that hasnt come to my rescue, but continue to live. if anything it adds a faintness and intangible quality to life only we can imagine, its hard but might as well let it in to walk alongside you while its there. (this was a response i figured more should read in case it resonates)
Hey man I'm 21 and currently going through this same situation I feel numb. And im commenting this I failed in my entrance exam I feel so numb to do anything. I'm just existing like a zombie
@@karanXd hey, ive invested as much of me into being a better version as i possibly cna over the years and theres one thing your comment just helped me realize. your pain is irreplaceable and the world youve come to know isnt something i can fully understand. but the numbness and confusion you feel is the most important thing for you which is why your body cant stop feeling it. its not easy but take time for yourself, take it slow, remind yourself who you are and what you know, what you want. that numbness and confusion is everything you know you can do and be but can only hear the call. this will always be a battle, but i promise you, you will get stronger and wiser and so powerful that you will be confused why you feel so light and focused. be patient, you are where you need to be
i feel numb. I am happy this way. this is for the best. I believe happiness comes from chanelling this body the right way. I feel like emotions which affect others does not faze me...not a bit.
This adequately describes more indepth what i refer to emotions as pendulums. I was quite depressed, after a while I was numb. What i came to the conclusion was that I was suppressing my negative emotions and in turn suppressing the positive ones. The pendulum in this case was not swinging. It swings one way for positive emotions, the other for negative. I just didnt understand what had caused the numbness since I had done it reflexively and subconsciously. Im still relatively numb now but learning to be more open with my family and it's helped some. Considering a detox to kickstart feeling again although I know I'll have to take the bad with the good.
Thank you for the explanation. I was once in a state of full numbness, but psychosis helped me to feel fully. It might sound strange, but the world was crumbling around me, and I was ecstatic. But bad emotions became stronger too. I went to the mental hospital after a particularly bad episode, and they gave me medications. After some time, I became less emotional and returned to a partial suppression. Negative symptoms also might have something to do with it. Then after several years, I became psychotic again. And again after some period of happiness, anxiety hit. I went to my psychiatrist, and she raised the dosage. Now I'm stable, but it troubles me a lot that if I have full happiness it will switch to absolutely nightmarish stuff from time to time. I want to feel intensely, but it might be a really bad idea.
This happened to me. I could feel almost nothing, and it was miserable. I fixed it with neutral observation + allowing the few feelings that I did have to express themselves without interference. I also stopped crediting everything to the brain, and that was really required for me to be able to feel again. I don’t know if it’s true, right? But I can definitely say that since recognising my awareness as something other than a thought, I have been able to feel again. It’s interesting because as kids, we have no concept of the brain, and pur scientists confidently teach us a bunch of stuff about it that, as far as I can tell, they don’t actually know. They’re guessing, and feigning confidence. These teachings caused me decades of suffering, so thanks for that, science.
Oh, one more thing: sensations/feelings aren’t thoughts, either. Just this realisation alone caused me to feel my emotions 1000% clearer. I recommend trying it. Find a sensation in your body, and say to it “sensations aren’t thoughts”. Might sound silly to some, but our science does credit the brain with everything, and it’s a darn slippery slope.
What do you exactly mean stop crediting everything to the brain. I wish I could believe feelings have nothing to do with thoughts, but feelings do come from thoughts and perceptions of things. Interested to hear your perspective
Thank you for this Video. I'm feeling pretty numb for some years now (I'm Not even sure how long exacly). I'm Not feeling really excited about Things, I rarley feel Joy in doing stuff but I also dont feel sad about anything. Somtimes I think that is at least Part of the reason why I find it hard to connect to people and make friends.
I kinda relate to this. Don't feel anything at all for quite a while. Don't feel good when gaming, when being praised, when accomplishing something. Stopped talking to friends and am not even motivated to meet them. About that stuff Dr k discusses in the end, I unconsciously stopped gaming/browsing social media/watching movies cuz it doesn't even feel good anymore. So, detox didn't work for me, I surmise. Perhaps it's a sign I need to go visit a doctor...
I remembered being almost always happy in my 20s & 30s. Going into 40s, i feel like i have completely numb. It's like i was given a quota of happiness that i've spent it all in my 20s and 30s. So now in my 40s, i feel like i'm incapable of feeling the emotion called "happy" again.
love it. i am feeling (or not feeling) almost the way he/she does and want to your tips out. it makes dopamine detox much easier if you know what actually happens in your brain and that it works
I went through exactly this in the last few weeks, and I got out of it through nearly exactly what you said, dopamine detox and more anxiety about stuff.
I feel scared to detox but it's worked before. I realize from this video I had anhedonia most of last year and for almost all of this year. What got me out of it was detoxing from social media and like you said, a lot of negative emotions occurring because of that. I learned so much about myself in that time but by the time I should've started applying it to the way I act, I got back on all of these dopaminergic activities way too soon and it just numbed me from it again. I'm worried about what I would spend my free time doing if I didn't have RU-vid, anime, or gaming. I'm worried about the negative emotions that I would have to deal with after a little while. I'm worried about reapplying those things to my life in moderation so that they don't take over my life and cause me to feel numb again. Maybe I'll allow myself one or two hours of gaming a day, but no social media or anime or anything. The truth is that this would be such a life change that I really don't know how it'll affect me, but at the same time I know 2 weeks off overstimulation will not ruin me. In fact it would probably make me better. I'm going to try to do this, hopefully I'll find something to do with my spare time
@@fabioescudero6204 if I remember correctly, I detoxed after this comment for a while and managed to do a little better. I'm back on social media now and have been for some time, but I'm using it very differently. I essentially have my priorities in order, where I still play a lot of games and watch a lot of videos, but always try to take time out of my day to introspect and socialize with people I care about. Ultimately, the biggest thing I've learned since commenting this is just how much it can help to be honest and open about your struggles with friends. There have been multiple problems or questions I've had that I have gained such a better understanding of by asking people close to me. I still struggle with a lack of emotional expression, but I realize that its because I learned to hide my true emotions at a young age. Working through this has been difficult, but I'm getting better everyday. The support of the positive people around me goes a long way. I didn't even get into how my anxiety has decreased, but I also was taught by my new partner that even the worst outcomes of events will not bring on the end of the world (which is essentially what it has felt like in my head for such a long time). And all of this is to say that its so important to be transparent with people you care about and get help/support from them.
I'm really happy that I'm pretty normal in that regard. So many people unfortunately seem to have problems with this. I hope the find the time and energy to change it.
Not finished the video yet, but I've been struggling with anhedonia for most of my life, I think I started with anhedonia and that caused me to become depressed, I now feel nothing apart from the odd flash in the pan of anger. I'm disabled and can't do much physically, all I really want is to enjoy playing video games, or reading manga again.
I feel I have different kind of numbness. Instead of not having emotions, I rather have no reactions. When I win in a game, I don't get excited. I don't cry in movies. When a friend tells me good news, I don't feel happy for him. My mum is currently in hospital having had a brain operation. but I have no reaction to it. It's just something that happened. I don't feel scared or sad for her. This leads me having to always 'simulate' reactions, and it's exhausting!
I’ve hear about dopamine detoxing a lot he time, a lot from self-improvement advocates. Ngl I always thought it was just another BS tactic like cold showers, but Dr K explaining the neuroscience made me rethink it. Think I’ll try it for two weeks
Dopamine Detox IS not scientifically proven, though and CAN'T happen. Making stuff more fun and appealing? Maybe. But there is no dopamine detox. There is doing less of the quick easy dopamine fix stuff, though, but it's still not what everyone says it is. Just saying this since there's so much misinformation out there and since Dr. K shouldn't spread this or some ADHD tips when some people with ADHD struggle hard and it seems to be displayed like child's played. Sorry, just so infuriating if people just stand behind this and don't question it and esp. if Dr. K spreads this. Makes me sad and uposet :'(
@@Arch_Ariel It kinda did. At the time of posting I was sorta too indulged into VGs and social media. I took two weeks where I didn't play anything or see social media and focused on more productive activities. By the end, the urges became more "normal" and I was able to integrate them back as leisurely activities that dont overpower other important tasks. I think its nice to take a break from such things every now and then especially in todays world.
resetting dopamin is impossible for me. welp that sucks. i have no friends nor family to do things with outside of my home. no places to be. so i cant just not do anything. hell the only thing i can do is take daily 1-2h hikes. but then what? i literally cant afford anything🗿 cant fix this problem no matter what and likely wont be able to for the next few years. this aint no life at this point. i remember a year ago and before that in dreams i always felt emotions amplified by several times. but eventually i noticed these fading more and more aswell for no real explainable reason. dreams that should be very uncomfortable or straight up terrifying dont make me react nowadays, dreams that portrayed my deepest desires dont make me react either, im just indifferent to that stuff now. even the vivid ones where i experience physical pain, due to not having drank anything prior to going to sleep, nothing, just the monotone thought that it was messed up to experience that pain. but at least this video explains why im only able to feel emotions at all when i drink alcohol. and by feeling, i more precisely mean, i can enjoy things like music. i dont really feel happiness sadness anger or contemptness. i felt nothing even when i was sober for long periods. even at periods where i was sober and had no access to games electricity or internet for months on end, so i was forced to read books and what not. been on my head for quite some time now. i can however draw my positives out of this conclusion, not being able to feel anything at all most of times is pretty benificial with the depression ive had for the past decade. because it ''doesnt really exist anymore'' thanks to that. neither are enjoyable or livable states tho. in the end have i not only forgotten what most emotions are or feel like, i have also forgotten what sadness feels like. the only thing i was able to experience when sober over the past 3 months (i was not sober for 3 months just during some weeks of them) was stress, well dulled out stress. alas, the cause was having no food for the last 1.5-2 weeks of the months. as a side note i stopped laughing as of recently, as i realised all of them were fake laughs i ever did. i dont remember a single genuine smile or laugh over the past 3 or 4 years. it ''should'' be ''concerning'' that i can think about such things so clearly without any reaction. actual conclusion is. this might just not be worth it. has never been for all of my 21 years. cuz am not gonna be bothering for longer than another 1-2 years at most. if its still like that once i got a job, then there is truly no point to it if im not actually experiencing anything. or so the logic of my brain tells me. at least i was able to get these thoughts out somewhere i suppose. cant tell that to no one really zzz however. i am going to give quitting substances a try same for watching less youtube videos, anime and games. it should help. so why not. lets see where this goes ya'll.
Personally I kinda like being numb, I used to be depressed a long time ago. Frankly think I would be scared to open up whatever it is that happened to me. I am bad enough as I am now, if all my emotions came back like a floodgate, that would be horrible; I'm not sure how I would react or what I would do because of it. Also my gf is similar to me, but she has been like this for a lot longer than I. She was pretty numb since she was younger like 9 is what she told me, but I have only been like this since I was 22. Damn this video made me feel like maybe I am broken goods.
@@xXx_Regulus_xXx I mean a protagonist complex is a thing, don't know if there is a certain classified disorder though. But it goes hand in hand with egocentrism :D Every child in a specific age thinks like that so it's normal from the point of development psychology.
@@maximilian2843 I'll be very interested to see if it becomes officially recognized, because if it is then I've already known someone who suffered from it. It could just be a zoomer-specific form of grandiose narcissism, but whatever it is it's annoying as hell.
I'm empathic so no I'm always feeling something not my own. It freaking sucks if you dont know how to control yourself. Plus it feels like a weakness being vulnerable all the time, people can and will take advantage of that.
@@contra5123 it honestly just sounds like being young and still not having much experience regulating your own empathy. It's a skill that grows with age and experience
@@KayosHybrid Literally the definition of an empath is someone with stronger and more profound empathetic reactions lol its pretty fitting that someone who isnt one can't understand how its different, it can literally alter your sense of self(against your will) like it did with me, although i do agree op needs to learn to suppress their empathy a bit because of this.
I feel anxiety and emptiness and futility but no positive emotions. I try things that would make me feel achieved or happy, but I feel only the potential risk of said action.
i haven't felt emotions since i was a child and it is a life destroying condition. therapy, yoga, mindfulness, medicine, psychedelic drugs etc, nothing has managed to make me feel sensations in my body like i felt before the trauma. i think for some it is just permanent
Already so please that you point out there can be anhedonia without being depressed. I have been at points in my life, this is just like some stuff in my brain isn't firing. I am perfectly fine. Life is on track. Life is easy. I am not displeased. I don't feel the other symptoms I did when I had the chemical imbalance of depression. It feels much more like my anxiety being so out of control for years is leading to longer and longer periods of time where my brain is like "That is TOO MUCH. We are going to turn that off completely."
I had a numb period for a couple of months when i lived by myself, i had no job, went to school (barely since i had a gambling issue) and needed this video then, anyway now that i no longer live by myself and got a job, i did this without even knowing, and now im sort of back to feeling things! Didnt know i did it before this video 😂
I've been on an involuntary dopamine detox for 1 month. No tech devices, no news, not even music. Coming back didn't really change anything for me. Maybe at some point it is pathological.
I kind of hinted at this in my post but I feel like in certain cases, and I think in mine, I have so many mental illnesses that they just kind of combine together and it creates anhedonia, I usually just spiral downward to the depths of mental hell then I get anhedonia again and that sort of regulates me and I can continue on at least existing a somewhat regular schedule
@@lColbyl Anhedonia seems like an interesting defence mechanism. If only it can be turned on and off! In my case, it's probably due to ASD. I'll ask to my psychiatrist about it.
@@derboe_thebeast6869 Diminished social motivation is common in Autism. And a quick google search shows that they call it "social anhedonia". Not sure if they consider it as an official symptom of ASD though.
This video was unfortunately made for my brother. No matter how enthusiastic and excited I try to be in my hopes to connect with him, it just doesn’t work
I think the more enthusiastic you try to be, the more he might feel disconnect with you two's states. Perhaps acting a bit more grounded might ease the dynamic a bit?
@@santeri2790 It really depends on the person i think, i was getting hyped up in the past when friends around me were absolutely into something and trying to encourage me.
You're siblings and sounds like you have a good relationship. Maybe you could ask him to care? It wouldnt really turn emotions on but love is effort, the OP said he didnt mind anime. So maybe find interesting things and engage over those.
I don't experience much emotion, but when he drew the sucrose chart, I lost my mind!! I have been telling people I can't taste SWEET for YEARS!!! Is this really whats causing my self diagnosed taste disorder... am I that numb? Wow.
So I know the RU-vid comment section isn’t the best place to put this out there but here I go. Being a gifted kid who breezed through school and finished junior/senior year covid, I’ve never had any idea what I wanted to do with my life beyond graduation. For the past year or two I’ve been hopelessly depressed feeling like I have nothing in my future and no goals. I didn’t really have any motivation to do work and I haven’t been able to look forward to any fields, making me feel like I’m wasting money at college. Recently I’ve taken a deep interest in psychology and I’m thinking of going into therapy, and these videos have honestly really made me feel engaged while learning about the mind. The problem I know face is that in going into therapy, I really have no idea what I’m getting myself into. I don’t even know if I actually want to do this or I’m just trying to cling onto a field to make me feel better about spending thousands a semester on classes. If I do decide to become a therapist I have no idea what my career path will look like. Am I just going to end up behind a register until I get a masters degree? Or are there jobs that could act as precursors that relate to the degree I’m aiming for? I honestly don’t expect anyone to respond to this, but if anyone took the time to read as has any insight as to what I should be thinking about for my future that would be fantastic. And thank you Dr. K for giving me this spark of career motivation
depends on your ideal financial/longterm outlook on life. I was similar to you and went to med school because I didn't have the social skills to excel in business and computer science wasn't as booming as it is now at the time. if you want that financial stability you could go to med school and specialize in psychiatry, extremely high demand for psychs nowadays and that would definitely be in line with your newfound interests. Alternatively you could become a licensed therapist but with less financial freedom. all up to you
Makes sense and should work on me if I try it, now the big question is: Is being numb right now worse than feeling the negative emotions that come with my miserable life? I've been anhedonic for a good 3 years now and I often think how I miss being able to cry, now that I know a reasonable solution, I'm unsure if it's worth, if it means I probably won't stop..
@@Boudization It's not really about motivation, I'm in a good situation in terms of life and health, got a stable job and i'm in good shape, problem is my absolute disgust for people my age and their interests and my lack of real friends. Not sure how i can change that ^^
Better to have negative emotions then no emotions. Half the reason I have negative emotions is I like to indulge in them because it captivates me, which is far preferable to when you need to be awake for another 7 more hours feeling like you are simply a consciousness in a pitch black void, unable to move or feel. Emotional pain over eternal torturous boredom.
I listened to "atomic habits" and started feeling amazing. Shortly after I started getting attention from the woman at work and the dudes. Needless to say, I'm looking for a new job now. Death isn't worth 16 bucks 😐 PSA: it can get you hurt 🤕 don't be kind to everyone. The mask is there to protecc
past handful of videos on dopamine circuitry succeed in calling me out and giving me tools to start getting out of the mud - if the next video is on dissociation and bpd emptiness, i think we'll have found my own pwBPD Triforce
I went through hell when I was younger. It was so bad, even death didn't seem like a good alternative anymore. I was just constantly suffering for almost a decade. I even had some grey hair in a certain part of my head, despite being only about 16-20. Now I feel dead inside. I am incapable of feeling love, grief, happiness, comfort. I'm almost as lonely as a human can be and I never had a real relationship with a girl but I genuinely don't care anymore. I've had opportunities to get into relationships, but I never felt the desire to do so. Humans outside of my family don't mean anything to me. I saw a man die in front of my eyes and I didn't care at all. In fact, I was annoyed at the fact that he made me make a slight deviation from my plan for the day. I'm not angry, not frustrated, not suffering anymore, I'm just a little... sad. But even that feeling is very numb.
I remember this happening to me in high school, was so "annoying" and I was kinda scared I wouldn't feel anymore. But I just keep thinking that I want to feel again and ask myself how and what to do, until I somehow did it
knew a guy who repressed his emotions because he had no clue how to interact with people and he thought we should think it was cool. just like he thought his binge drinking and sleep deprivation were cool. he's since driven away practically every well meaning person in his life and been kicked out by his family.
@@vcjg287 I really would have liked to, we were friends since we were kids, but his mental defences are so overactive he's not receptive to anything other than coddling. Anyone telling him he might be doing something wrong freaks him out, and even a simple "I'm here if you want to talk" from the wrong person gets brushed off. After watching him spin more of his bad habits like they're actually tragic antihero quirks that don't need fixing for literal years, and then the grand finale where he did some really underhand things to me and our mutual friends, we all decided at various points we had to cut him off. I hope it's like cold water to the face for him and he starts to realize that he's the common denominator in all his failed relationships, because talking like adults did not work.
Broo, I needed this so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Also I would like so much if you have 15 minutes for a call, I realy need it. I dont trust psichiatrist in my city😢
“It will feel a little uncomfortable (to feel the negative emotion without reflexive action)” It will feel VERY uncomfortable, but you have to be disciplined and weather the storm. I’ve tried this before and it took many attempts to get comfortable dealing with intense negative emotions. You’re going to be okay and if it’s overwhelming you may need to get some help from family/friends/therapist! Biggest hug to Dr. K 🫂
I for my part have emotional dysregulation due to my ADHD and emotions can be extremely painful. I can't feel them nor get through them, sadly. It can hurt so much it will feel it tears me apart inside or like I'm gonna die, so yeah.
The fact that so many people relate to this kind of stuff - not just on Dr. K videos, but in general - proves that humans were never meant to live like this. In hyper-stimulated, information overflow dystopia, that is. Everything is polarized now. You can't have an opinion on something online now without someone telling you to kill yourself over it. And when you're not sharing your own opinions, you're scrolling non-stop through other people's opinions. I'm only 23 - not a Boomer by any stretch - but I know that social media has done damage to me, and is doing damage to humanity as a whole. I'm not saying we need to get rid of it, but we need to do 2 things. First, be aware that social media can be addictive, and that it can give people anxiety issues, or amplify existing disorders. Second, monitor our time online, be more self-aware of what we're doing. If you catch yourself getting anxiety from a political debate or zoned out scrolling, just stop. Tl;Dr: Not a Boomer or anything, but social media causes a lot of these problems. Humans were designed to only be connected to about a dozen or so close-knit friends and family. The information overload of social media creates "semantic cessation" but for our thoughts and emotions.
I've been through it as well and gotten out to the other side. In hindsight it is one of the most terrifying things I have ever experienced. I ended up homeless due to it, since I just did not care about anything, so when I stopped paying rent, I didn't do ANYTHING about it. Because I just did not care. When my landlord showed up and told me to pay rent or he would evict me, I did not do anything. Because I felt nothing about it.
recently i started to open up my emotions with practices with exposure therapy, medications, meditations, fasting exercising, opening up to anyone when it feels right, even practicing singing, going to work and trying to come back home as easy as possible or as if i was able to manage my emotions or at least try to see ways of having it be a growing experience than just another day.
I took a two hour rest, and I wake up feeling like emotionless now after about an hour, I’m starting to feel back to normal. That was an experience to say the least.
I read anhedonia has to mainly do with only positive emotion ( or pleasure ) meaning decrease in the intensity of experiencing pleasure or reward. But still be able to feel negative emotions. What this seems is more like alyxythemia. I have struggled with decreased feeling of positive emotion but being able to feel negative emotion all the same maybe even worse.