I'm basically the guy version of u. I found ur videos so relatable! I quit my 6 figure job in Nov 2022, took a "sabbatical", and I still haven't figured anything out. Ultimately, I think I might return to it and discuss the prior workload with my manager. I'm hoping it works out better as I haven't had much luck with other interviews. But yeah, the depression is intense man. I totally feel u when u said "I don't have it in me". I'm just tired every day too, and all I want to do is doomscroll all day. It's pathetic. I recently watched a lecture about depression, and I think we're experiencing "psychomotor retardation" which is the slowing down of our mental/physical activities. I recently lost 50 lbs or so from inactivity (all my muscle gains r gone... sigh), so I'm trying a little bit more each day. Hopefully I can get that job back so I can have a bit of normalcy again. Also, I truly think we should join a class or Meetup or something. The loneliness for me is extremely painful and is something I struggled with a lot in my adult life. I've been crying a lot too which is probably contributing to my daily headaches. It's like I've been conditioned to be in this constant negative state, and I don't want to live like this any more. Not to mention my rampant suicidal thoughts. Anyway, I say try putting more effort in making friends. I think bettering ur social life would give it some meaning. Well, at least that's what I'm trying to do. Best of luck to both of us!
+1 social life also requires income to some extent. I cry a lot too but we should be aware not to hurt our body with too much stress we wouldnt want an auto immune issue. I had a mini surgery so I cant be physically active too, not moving affects depression bad thats true
I agree with everything you said. Even when I do socialize, I feel like I don’t have much to talk about if that makes sense so I become a great listener instead. I’m just going day by day. Loneliness is extremely painful. Before I would find things to do, but now I feel panic and anxiety. I have gone to meetups and have met some great friends. It’s been the hardest year and it terrifies me to think I will have more years of feeling this awful. I now see why people give up on life. 😣 As far as your job, maybe you can find something similar or try a different company? I appreciate your vulnerability with sharing this and hope things get better for you. 🙏🏼🖤✨
You’re right. Most times it does require income especially if you want to pursue hobbies. And yes, mental health can also affect our physical health. 😣 Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏼🖤✨
@ProgressWithChristina Thanks! Yeah same here. I'm an introvert, so it's hard for me to connect with ppl right away. And small talk is so lame. I prefer listening if the other person is more outgoing, but generally it takes me a while to warm up. Loneliness sucks so much. I used to have a group on discord during my "sabbatical", but now it's inactive. I relied too heavily on it, and now I'm all alone again 😒. Story of my life, ppl always come and go... I hear ya, I feel like giving up every time. Sometimes I wish my depression was even worse, so I can finally end it. But, some days I'm OK. It's just an endless cycle of suffering. In the end though, I'm too chicken to do it. Yeah I had a few interviews, but nothing advanced beyond the initial interview. Honestly, I feel like I'm wasting the summer waiting and waiting for recruiters and hiring managers to hurry up. I have some personal goals that r dependent on a job first, so I think going back would be the quickest in the short-term. I'm fortunate I left on really good terms, so I don't think I would have to interview. Fingers crossed they'll let me work remotely too! Well, hope u had a great 4th. I spent mine alone, but luckily was able to keep busy. It's tough out there. I think we just need to remember we're not alone in this even though the outside world, everyone seems to be doing well. Gotta look forward, not back. I truly hope things get better for us.
I think a lot of us are feeling what you're feeling. The goal posts to get a stable life keep getting moved further and further, making it seem impossible to ever get a home or even some basic stability. It starts to get to a point when you wonder why you're bothering because no amount of efforts is getting you to where you want to be. I'm not sure what the answer is now, either. You seem like a smart, resourceful person, so I'm sure you'll figure out your path
Be gentle with yourself. You are braver than you give yourself credit for. Battling depression and anxiety is extremely difficult, it’s like running a marathon before you even get up for the day. No wonder you are tired and discouraged. None of this is your fault. You wouldn’t blame a cancer patient you being sick, so no one should blame someone with mental illness for being sick. Mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. I went through a traumatic experience and lost my job. Ever since then my depression has made it difficult to find the will power to do anything including work. I blame myself all the time but it’s the depression skewing my perception.
I'm not trying to promote victimization, but it's okay to not feel okay sometimes. It's not always your fault. For example, I don't know the full context of why you quit your corporate job, but I'm willing to bet it was because of burnout. We are not meant to overburden ourselves with work.
I have been burned out for a very long time and have not taken any breaks. I did some research and it takes up to a year at times to fully recover from burn out. Thanks for sharing.
I was watching another video and my hand somehow clicked off the other video and this one popped up. I am going to pray for you. May you have peace, may you work through your depression, and seek solutions to your current problems. Don’t gif up, keep working on your mental health (call 211 they help connect you with free services), and keep seeking the answers to your current challenges. In the midst of all of what you shared, I hear and see a very resilient woman. Keep pushing forward and you will find your path. Suggestion: One of the ways to help with the smell is to deep clean all of the surfaces especially the cabinets, walls, and your floors with a pet friendly all-purpose cleaner. Don’t give up, hold on to hope, and develop a support system. Candles, simmering pots, and oil diffusers can also help.
Also, it’s not your fault. Corporate is burning us all out whether some people want to actually admit that or not. A lot of places are short staffed and the hard workers who should be getting taken care of and protected, are instead getting thrown more work. Especially those who are predisposed to anxiety and depression if not given adequate down time between projects. I can tell you’ve definitely made a difference and positive impact at your other jobs. They probably didn’t even deserve you.
Your situation isn't all your fault. It's only your fault if you don't take action to fix it. You've had a well-paying job and nice lifestyle in the past, and you seem like a hard worker who takes accountability, so you're still in a better position than most. I believe in you.
I appreciate that. I do take accountability that it’s my fault whatever situation I am in but I hadn’t struggled with mental health to this extent in the past before. 😭😣
im here with you i feel the same way been 3 years where im kinda just floating around trying to survive I think a lot of humans feel this way ever since the world has changed a lot.
Hope you're well since you've made this. I laughed when you said 'this old apartment 1980s' I am a late forties dude (took no offense). I am guessing you are late 20s early thirties. In my opinion it's better to burnout now than when you're older and have never burned out. I really believe COVID and being confined and all the changes is just beginning to catch up to all of us and has forced us to re-think things. It's important to push yourself but also give yourself grace (and compassion). The negative self-talk, watch out for it. When you tell yourself something negative, just think 'would I speak to my friend like this' and more often than not, you wouldn't. There is someone out there that is going thru the same thing you are. Hope you don't feel alone in that. Have a great week. Dust off that peloton and get going.
lol! The apartment I lived in prior to this one was built in 2021, so to go from that to 1980s it definitely felt old. Yes on the compassion, but I also have to figure things out so I can live and sustain myself financially. Find something stable. Thanks for sharing.
Make small positive steps, give yourself credit for every small step, try to understand this won’t last forever if you do that. Think maybe it wasn’t corporate or you but your particular boss. I work in corporate and things go in cycles of 2 years or 3 years so things change if you’re not happy right now, just focus on getting stronger and not resigning yourself that this will never end.
It's okay to have a tough day it's okay to not have the energy. Your place needs some nice plants.... But remember this when you get knocked down get back up every tim!!! I feel your pain and it will get better for you!!! Drink St John's Wort tea daily too if you can!it will help you!!! Big love 💗 come on get back up !!!!
Prayers for you my friend 🙏🏾 We all search for our purpose. When you find something you love doing and can make good money from it you’ll be able to face things and realize it was never anything to be worried about.
I know this might seem a bit reach to other people but if nothing helps out, don't be afraid to walk into a church and pray and make friends. Just remember it's not about religious but a relationship. We get lost in this dark world and we just need a big hug.
if it makes you feel any better, i just want to say i am also going through same depression and anxiety issues. And soon will be quitting my new job just after one month. There are days when i so want to give up, but then i search these videos to give myself hope that i am not alone...
Hey Christina. It sounds like a seperation of the conscious ego and unconscious shadow. (Or one can think of it as the Mind and the Heart) The Mind tells us to get a high paying job, get some material success, and be winners by societal standards. But the Heart has withdrawn it's support of these goals, it will not go along with the Mind's plans, and fills one with depression. Please take some time and find out what your heart really wants. Then the Mind and Heart can be on the same page, have the same goals, and I bet you'll feel a lot better when that happens.
@@ProgressWithChristina But the heart has already given you a big piece of the puzzle. "Helping others". The next question for the heart is "help others in what way, or help people to do what?" So, the mind must explore options, and let the heart respond. Example: Medical, Education, Social Work, etc? Do you want to help people recover from physical conditions, like a physical therapist? Or perhaps nutritionist? Or maybe help people learn things, like a teacher or tutoring? Or maybe help people learn life skills in a resource center? Or even help others with IDD or Behavioral Conditions, like a QMHP or QIDP? Or maybe a case worker, counselor, or therapist? There are so many doors for you to explore! See what interests you, look into it, and when you find the path that is right for you, your heart will remove the depression and give you energy again. You'll just know it.
Just hard to do when I struggle to make basic decisions. Things seem too overwhelming. Not to mention how to continue education when I didn’t have the finances nor qualify for loans.
@@ProgressWithChristina Don't put the cart before the horse. There's no fire in the heart yet, so you've hit a point of ennui and burnout. Pyschologically paralyzed. Survival is priority. Make a deal with your heart. Get yourself stabalized financially first, just so insecurity doesn't overwhelm you. And then promise your heart that once you reach that point, you will begin exploring options for it's fullfillment and satisfaction. And once you find what sets your heart on fire again, you can follow that path. And the mind can make the decisions and moves it needs to make, with full support from your heart.
I'm sorry things are so tough right now. I just want to let you know that I think you're doing really well fighting this depression everyday. Don't be so hard on yourself. Take care Christina. Praying for you always 🙏
you might want to look into getting your cdl through the school bus, 🚌until automation creeps in a massive demand for it exists, being on the road all the time makes the day go faster & keeps the workplace drama to a minimum, you get to take the bus home after morning runs, and you get time off for the summer & holidays to figure out other things to get into, also with that license you could use that to get into coach or city bus or other forms of transportation, which will help you get back on your feet.
Get some glade plugins or some candles to mask the smell 😊 My sister usually has small apartments, and im always amazed by how much she is able to transform a small space into a home. Add some small personal touches here and make the most of it. I think so many of us are burned tf out. Hang in there! Something that helped me not catastrophize (but i still do it a lot) was reading the Power of Now and trying to turn off my brain and be present. Its so damn hard but every now and then it works and having moments of no thoughts is such a relief.
I bought candles but the smell seems to be engraved in the walls idk lol. I looked it up and washing them with baking soda helps. Yes, lots of burn out. Adulting is tough lol. I agree. I plan to do more research or how to lessen catastrophizing. Thanks for sharing.
I too, am still suffering. Sorry for you... glad you're still able to function, to get apt, and live.. and have pets. Im unable to do anything at all. My life was so destroyed,.. i don't have any will to live. I just sit, or lay down everyday. Ruminating and catastrophizing . Not eating, or taking care of myself,.. i just don't care. The depression is severe. My life is over.. just waiting to expire asap.
Thank you for sharing. One day at a time. Even if you get up to walk ten minutes. Maybe use this as support and accountability. I know it’s easier said than done.
@@ProgressWithChristina Thank you for replying 💐and caring. You really are a good person 🙏 I don't think I'll be able to walk 10 min. It sounds do simple though. I have no mental ability. I just have no will. I don't want to be in public anymore, or have anyone recognize me. I really don't want to live anymore. I just hate what happened . Thank you for caring. And also sharing your struggles.
You are welcome! Trust me, I understand not wanting to be seen. I feel like I look as bad as I feel especially compared to a year ago. If you have legs you can go for a walk. Remember with depression all we see is the negative. Tell yourself you can get up even if you don’t want to. You can do it. 🙏🏼
@@ProgressWithChristina Thanks for encouraging. I just don't have any want, or motivation.... I know I should.. for many reasons. But,.. I just can't. I can't get up... ( again). I miss the happy, loving, life enjoying person i always was.. ... I don't like what's happened, happening to me... 🙏🫶🫶😟
The depression makes me feel sad about everything too... Its so tough to explain it to others... The depression is a form of a mental limitation that prevents you to see the hope in things...
Think of the positives. Roof over head. Your cats are welcome. You have stairs which are cool. There's enough space. You're not jobless even though pay isn't ideal. Also you now have a new reality through which to figure out things. It might be easier this time if you let it. Sometimes having less allows you to see what you really need and what you don't. For the smell, maybe steam cleaning might get the smell out. I would start there.
Been here since my 20s, I dont wish it on anyone. As you said, its a roof over your head, im stuck in a house with family judging and breaking me down for my mental health, im working towards exiting this toxic place, just to create a income to do so. Always easy to suggest than do but finding solitude and sanctuary in your loft will help, add a plant or too, a gym space to do yoga etc and I think it will do wonders but I understand where you coming from so don't mean to judge here. Please try nurture yourself, im not a trained professional but sounds like a fall from Grace having a education and skills and created the life only to find yourself here, iv been there and I regret being so hard on myself, obviously you know these emotions are symptoms, its a grind. I hope you find what you deserve, better options to help you out and find relief. Yea only we can rescue ourselves but a supportive community can go a long way. Thanks for sharing your experiences, many suffer in silence feeling unheard and misunderstood.
@@ProgressWithChristina I know how painful it is. We need to support one another even if it doesn't make things go away, it's better than complete isolation and trying to figure everything out alone. Take care ✨️
I live in Hong Kong and your place is huge for one person. But too bad it smells....hope it gets better! I have a cat too and she keeps me company during my dark days
I’m a single mom of 2 kids and my boyfriend is in jail for 12 months total. I’m co parenting with my narcissistic ex husband. I’m 40 and I’m tired of hustling as well. I’m an esthetician. I’m currently a waxer. We make pretty good money. You should look into waxing at a chain. You can make more then at great clips. A lot more. What is the smell from though?
Props to any moms out there. I don’t know how you do it. I’m not interested waxing, but maybe something I could look into. I have a cosmetology license, not sure if they require an esthetician license. I have no idea. It just smells old.
Bug hug to you. Have you ever explored 12 step meetings at all? Can be a relief a bit and help you feel less isolated. There’s an underearners anonymous too
Guess what… im now in vacation but I plan to quit my job also when I return 😂… damn.. same pattern of action … I also have a corporate job and they killing me … i sleep 3-4 hours at night… I can’t take it anymore
Your going and coming is nowhere but where you are, friend "Progress" is a concept instilled into us since birth but it's just that; a concept Really isn't a concept Life is slendidly purposeless When the bird sings twiddly dwidly doo is that purposefully? Why do peacocks appear so splendid? Why do we laugh? What is the purpose of a song? You have everything you will ever need, look inside For the smell: it's just different and you're interpreting it the way you are Maybe the last person misses it 🤷♂️ Your heart will break again and again untill it opens I care about you and it opens my own heart to listen to you, I'm here for you and if you stopped posting because "something happened" I would be greatly saddened Much love, friend
I’m a single mom of 2 kids and my boyfriend is in jail for 12 months total. I’m co parenting with my narcissistic ex husband. I’m 40 and I’m tired of hustling as well. I’m an esthetician. I’m currently a waxer. We make pretty good money. You should look into waxing at a chain. You can make more then at great clips. A lot more
@@ProgressWithChristina Christina, here a cool song I listen to when things get a little rough. "I guess that's why they call it the blues" by Elton John. Let me know if it helps.
1:30 “idk…..idk…I don’t know….a lot….of anything.” Literally just turned 34 and this is my entire existence summarized in a single sentence. Subscribing and getting that tattooed ASAP 🥲
