when vanessa is looking at the mirror trying to see what strane sees but is frustrated because all she sees is a little kid my heart broke and i had to put the book down
When I saw the title I immediately thought “ugh it’s gonna be all self help books” but then the thumbnail had none and I was intrigued and then when Hannah said “I despise self help books” and that none were being read - I got very excited.
@AFL Rookie my issue with self help books mostly lies in that it’s not interesting watching people read and review them. I have no issue with anyone reading a self help book and enjoying it. To be fair, I don’t read them due to finding a lot of them engage in too many generalisations and suffer from pressures of the publisher in requiring page quantity over content quality, though I am sure there are much better ones than I have found. In any sense, due to the intimacy relating to the nature of one’s engagement with a self help book, watching someone engage with it is not wildly interesting.
My dark Vanessa for me was definitely pure catharsis. Obviously, everyone is different and has a different reaction to the trauma but I found this book to be so accurate in the description of coping mechanisms. One of the best books I've ever read!
i just want you to know that the subtitles have corrected “that girl” to “batgirl” like 75% of the time (or at least given context clues i assume you are not talking about batgirl) and it’s absolutely hysterical
i love these experimental videos of yours! maybe you could try a sort of "5 books from around the world" or "reading a book from every continent" or country/continent specific books?
There’s too many countries to choose from to represent a continent, after all, different areas of a continent can be VERY different to other areas. Unless, you choose to read multiple books from each continent (If you were to read a book from the north, east, south, and west of that continent), even then, the more popular countries will always get their literature chosen.
You described "My Dark Vanessa" perfectly. I have read reviews where they call this a "romance" - this is not a romance people. It is EXACTLY as described in this video. Hard to read; brilliantly written.
My Dark Vanessa really brought to life the *nuance* of grooming via a 15yr old’s perspective. As adults reading about it, we KNOW the legal, ethical, and psychological ramifications to grooming, but a 15yr old DOESN’T - or doesn’t really believe it. I really could understand where Vanessa was coming from in the beginning when she talked about her relationship with the teacher. It was new, exciting, people wouldn’t get it. You feel mature because you’re dating an adult, and you assume that they are treating you like an equal partner. Some of the scenes almost read as erotic, because *they would be* to a young girl who’s got no real concept of relationships and sex. And as the book goes on, you start to see the cracks in the fantasy she’s built in her mind, and how it’s difficult for her to separate her 15yr old fantasy for what was, and how it damaged her. As readers we see it, but she spends half the book debating with herself - and other people - about what that relationship truly did to her.
My Dark Vanessa really helped me to address some of the internal shame I have for the way I thought and acted as a 15 year old in a heavily sexualised society.
As a chubby, brown, frumpy person, I have never been THAT girl. Now, with two kids and staring down middle age, I've decided to give up trying. It's amazingly freeing.
Interesting to me that "THAT girl" is supposed to be an aesthetic that celebrates health, clean eating, exercise etc when "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" is ostensibly the opposite of everything that the aesthetic stands for. I re-read "My Year of Rest and Relaxation" when I'm feeling burned out or in a depressive episode, so it's weird to think that it's been adopted by girls practicing an aesthetic that's all about health and wellness
I mean maybe they do that to plunge themselves in stuff that they really don’t understand? Realistically, I know that for most people being that girl is extremely tiring and “burning-out” if I may so reading about a horrible privileged prick being hella depressed is probably cathartic to them. But, in an attempt to be positive I’m just going to say that they are trying to experience something just so far from their own personal experience, like how I enjoy reading about absolutely horrible people because I just can’t understand how they perceive the world.
I think Urban Dictionary is wrong or Booktok has it wrong. Because all the "that girl" books are about depression and sadness and bad mental health choices. P.s. I reread The Bell Jar every time in a depressive episode. I feel like we could be sad girl soulmates lol.
im honestly surprised that these are the books recommendations to be "that girl", coz in bookstagram these selections are recognized as "sad girls" recommendations instead of promoted as the latter. since mostly the recommendations for "that girl" selections are mostly... well, booktok recommendations, aka the classic coleen hoover stuff, and lots of romance books.
That girl is definetly not a"wealthy lifestyle" or at least not neccesarily. I'd define "that girl" as a sad hot girl, and also a girl who is hard to reach if you are jst like everyone else
@Trinity M Talk about projecting… As my comment made it pretty clear, it was an hypothesis of why people would enjoy the book based on what the video told me about it. I have absolutely not an ounce of interest in my body to read it and I haven’t. Where do you see me claiming to have read it ? Like the comment I’m replying to is curious about how girls focused of health and productivity enjoy something at the antithesis of their own motto and lifestyle, so I offered guesses based on context clues because I thought it was an interesting question. How do you have the nerve to go around telling people that intellect “has died on this platform” (as if early youtube was ever the intellectual sanctuary 💀) meanwhile you can’t even pick up on basic context clues I-
I really appreciate your response to Dark Vanessa! I haven't read it yet, but Lolita is my all time favourite book. I wrote my dissertation on the manipulation techniques used by the narrator. People often tend to mistake positive reviews for books of this kind, but I can't agree more that I despise what this book is about, yet love they message it touches upon. Thank you!
Lolita is my all-time favorite too. 💕 I first read it many years ago when I was 16 and it defined and formed both my taste in literature and my sense of aesthetics like nothing else. Pale Fire is brain-meltingly brilliant as well. No one can do it like Nabokov.
Have you read Being Lolita by Alisson Wood? It's a memoir about her story of a teacher grooming her using Lolita as the basis of their "love story". Highly recommend it.
I love how Russel showed that Strane was able to groom Vanessa bc he took advantage of the fact that she felt out of place and lonely and didn’t have a good support system. He ingrained in her that she’s different and unique, she’s mature and dark, so Vanessa didn’t question why Strane was even talking to her, she should’ve just been grateful Strane liked her. Russel did a great job in portraying his behavior as “nice and sweet” but when put into context you can see how he was manipulating her from the start.
The fact Vanessa wanted to wear her mom’s lingerie while he bought her cute pajamas showed that she wanted to appear mature bc that’s what he told her he thought of her, but him buying her those pajamas is a clear indication that he never liked Vanessa bc of her “maturity”, he knew she was a child and wanted to emphasize that.
I think that books by Joan Didion, Eve Babitz and Donna Tartt would also fall under this category - although I'm still trying to fully grasp the "that girl" concept, I'm too millennial lol
At first when I saw my dark Vanessa described as a “that girl” or a “hot girl” book I was super offended because that book is deeply personal to me and I think is way more than a tik tok stereotype.. that being said your review alleviated that anxiety and I agree with everything you said, particularly the stuff about being inside and outside of a situation as well as thinking you know everything when you’re younger but knowing nothing now. You put it very eloquently :)
‘hot girl books’ on tik tok are more supposed to be about dark things like depression, grooming, eating disorders, anxiety, etc…. Not self help and fitness. That’s more like the ‘clean girl’ aesthetic.
something I love about my dark vanessa is an emotion she experiences towards the end where she meets with the other girl, and she gets really angry with her because ‘how is that bad? how is that worse? how is something a little as that worse than what I felt’ and I remember feeling that way at 15 when someone would vent that problems which while I knew were totally valid but their reactions only pissed me off because in my mind I’d be thinking how is that worse than my life right now- I read my dark vanessa the week it came out and I still think about it to this day
I loved that scene too. I just finished reading the book a few days ago. I appreciate how I could get frustrated with Vanessa because she dismissed another person’s trauma but I also still sympathized with her
Oh my GOD yes!!! That little nuance was BRILLIANT. Bc I have actively thought that, I know in a moment of pain I’ve said it as well, but the thought still bubbles up sometimes & I don’t think it’s an emotion that gets addressed enough. And it’s crazy bc obviously, you feel guilty for feeling that way, but you also need your experience & your own pain to be valid, more so than someone else’s, like if anyone has the right to be hurt, it is me- so why are you making such a big deal about it when you experienced a fraction of what I did??And obviously it’s pent up anger & confusion, a lack of understanding & perspective. Like now I know that peoples thresholds for trauma are different, like some people who experienced things I did wouldn’t be able to go on & other people would be able to cope much better than I did. Or two people can go thru the same thing, one can come out traumatized & the other can just accept it & move on..sorry for the rant, but I’m just in awe of how well she captured these thoughts and feelings
I read My Dark Vanessa when it was released back in 2020, and you put into words everything i felt/feel, but haven’t been able to express ever since i read it.
I DID read My Dark Vanessa again shortly after the first time, because it made such an impact on me. It was one of my best reads last year, hands down.
@@AClockworkReader I’d love to see what you think of The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson, if you haven’t read it already. Definitely has some very creepy scenes. It was almost cathartic to me to read though, I love it :)
i loved hearing your thoughts on My Dark Vanessa so much. that book has stayed with me for so long, especially the part when she talks about how it feels kind of inevitable, ”that threat of violence. You grow up wondering when it’s finally going to happen.“ just. disturbing, deeply relatable, phenomenal.
This just sold my dark Vanessa for me. I initially had no desire to read it since it's such a heavy topic that I knew it would piss me off if it wasn't handled with care & nuance but hearing you talk about it made me so intrigued that I literally had to pause the video to order it from Jeff Bezos 💀
Me: born in 1995 Hannah: slightly historic Me: 👵🏼 😂😂 but seriously Hanna how do you manage making a 42 min video seem like 10 mins cuz it was sooo goooood ❤️!!
i’m reading my dark vanessa right now and your POV is SPOT ON. I saw some negative reviews of people saying it was glorifying abuse but I think they are reading it in the lena of a love story which is missing the whole point
Based on the last book in this video, a video reading feminist theory or just 'feminist' books could be interesting. On one hand, I think most people don't know where to start with feminist theory so having recommendation would be nice. On the other there are a lot of 'feminist takes on X' books that would be interesting to read all in a row and see what is successful and what isn't. Or even what tropes there are. If the fact that a book is trying so hard to be feminist actually makes it a not-like-other-girls kind of book (see Circe).
My favourite part of conversation with friends is that due to it having very few characters the slightest change in dynamic can be observed in the nuances. For example, before Francis slept with Melissa’s husband Melissa asked Francis if she wanted red or white wine and Francis said white and Melissa mentioned later in the conversation that there’s something “appealingly evil” about red wine. After Melissa found out about the affair she immediately gave Francis a glass of red wine... SALLY ROONEY’S MINDDDDD!!!
I'm so glad you ended up liking Conversations with Friends! I had a similar experience of being underwhelmed by Normal People and then taken aback by Conversations with Friends. It's a book that really made me think and feel things, and it has stuck with me! I am definitely interested to see what you think of Beautiful World, Where Are You? if you get a chance to read it!
i just finished it yesterday actually! i unfortunately didn't like it 😅 i found it pretty boring apart from one chapter towards the end. overall it felt like it had some of my least favorite aspects of normal people but it was even more boring loll
@@AClockworkReader Lol I had a feeling you might not like it! I feel like the characters were more unlikeable and not much of anything interesting happened. I did appreciate the conversations she tried to create with the letters between the friends, but it has been a few months since I read it and I honestly couldn't tell you anything else about it lol
I loved Moshfegh's "Death in Her Hands" which is her most recent book. Granted, I'm a huge fan of MYORAR (although I agree, the way people talk about it always feels off to me), but I thought it was a very different kind of book in terms of character and plot, while still having that Moshfegh style. I think that Moshfegh is a master of first person narratives, and getting into the psyche of her characters is always the major pleasure for me. I think "Death in her Hands" is r more subtle with the pain and strangeness of the character. It was a little more intellectually challenging, while also more thrilling.
I’ve read all of Sally Rooney’s books from Normal People, Conversations with Friends,to Beautiful World, Where Are You? And among the three I like Conversations with Friends more.
lol I think you meant to say that there is such a thing as marxist feminism which white women can subscribe to? Which yes they can. But one cant be a feminist and a marxist separately coz you know that would make no sense. so not sure what you want to tell people at the back there.
@@TheAbyss..andyou What (I assume) she means by white feminism is feminists who don't use intersectional feminism and only focus on issues that center or affect them (white women.) If you are a marxist you can still unknowingly or otherwise perpetuate these ideas if you don't consider the ways different types of oppression come together and create complex intersections where the oppression they face based on multiple marginalized identities interact and influence each other and so they may choose a different way to fight the patriarchy or a different issue to advocate for than you would (that doesn't affect you because you are white/more privileged than they are) I have known some people who are marxists who also did not look at the world in a very intersectional way. That's what I want to tell the people in the back lol
it's crazy to me there are people with such a misunderstanding of Marxism that they believe you can't be white or a feminist and also Marxist?! like WTF I don't even agree with Marxism and I know that. but sorry all Marxists out there you can't be white anymore and you MUST be a misogynist now. xD like WTF
When she said something like that my dark vanessa felt like the most important thing she had read, i thought of Thirst by Kerry Hudson. It is one of my favourite books for that reason. It is very well written, an important story to be told, but it is very dark.
I came to get your thoughts on My Dark Vanessa and I think you hit the nail on the head. I totally agree with your take. That book was so deep and thought provoking.
VIDEO IDEA: take a book you dislike, and re-read it backwards to see if you'll like it better. Details: So you would read through the epilogue first if one exists, then read through the last chapter, then the penultimate chapter, and so on until you get through the first chapter or the prologue. Testimonial: This experiment actually worked for me with _The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry_ by Gabrielle Zevin. The reading experience becomes a set of nested flashbacks (flashbacks within flashbacks) like it's Inception or something.
I had the same reading experience that you did with My Dark Vanessa. It’s beautiful, and awful, and such an important read, but so hard to recommend. I’m recommending that my husband read it though. We are the parents of two white daughters and I think it’s important that he sees this perspective of a young white cis gendered female. Also, I gave it four stars for the exact same reasons!
My Dark Vanessa made me feel SO seen, and I loved your analysis of it. It’s such a heartbreaking, beautiful story. I guess I’m a *tHaT gIrL* now. 💁🏻♀️
After this I definitely need to read My Dark Vanessa but it'll probably take me a while to get to. I read Know My Name by Chanel Miller last month and I had a lot of the same feelings about it as you had about MDV. I would definitely recommend it if/when you feel like you can read another book about SA.
I'm so afraid about getting another Sally Rooney's book cos I really got bored at reading Normal People, and like what you said it lacks depth, I think the book isn't for me but I get it if others enjoyed it because it is super relatable especially when you're on your 20's. Btw I'm happy to know you liked My Dark Vanessa, it's one of my favourite book, it's disturbing yes, it's heart wrenching, everything you said about it is just how I felt ☺️
This is a great video! I have “ My Dark Vanessa “ sitting on my shelf so I was excited you spoke about it also just purchased your reading journal 💫☺️📚
Love two Taylor references! Loved this. Also intrigued to read my dark Vanessa, it’s been sitting on my shelf. When you said “it’s not black and white” I gasped because the cover is black and white, thus the whole point. !!!
I love these videos - and I love watching how much you clearly enjoy making them, even when the books don't turn out. Hearing you've got a bunch of other theme ideas for videos makes me so happy!
I just finished My Dark Vanessa and I completely agree, it's definitely the kind of book that I'm glad I read but I hated reading it. I don't think I had understood how statutory rape really played out before I read this and it that sense, I needed to read it. One of my favorite quotes was "Now, it only strikes me as embarrassing, like every other outgrown phase"
Yayyyyyy Hannah it's so nice to have you back and oh my gosh I love the idea !! If you are looking for more " 5 * insert genre * books " please please please can you do horror ? Or thriller pleaseeeeee ??! Ps I love you and you look so beautiful ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰
I definitely agree with you about My Dark Vanessa. It is impactful, hard-hitting, and thought-provoking without relishing in the trauma and disturbing nature of the topic as some other books do. It is written in a way that sheds light on a situation that no one wants to look closely at because it's disturbing and unthinkable to those of us lucky enough to have never experienced it, while being respectful and gentle. I have loved your videos so much lately! I'm glad you've been posting more!
@@happyjellycatsquid it was the first book i read after getting back into reading (i stopped for a couple yrs cause i was busy) and it made me contemplate quitting reading again lol
when i saw you were reading my year of rest and relaxation on goodreads i thought this video would be titled 'reading female manipulator books to see if i could become insufferable'
I thought it was funny that you said you wanted to reread my dark Vanessa immediately bc you couldn’t stop thinking about it & I did the exact same thing!! I reread the first few chapters, & I will def go back to reread the whole thing but I needed a break. It was so heavy & painful, but it was absolutely brilliant & heart breaking
just wanna say how HAPPY i feel every time i see you plug your journal!! i always look over to my shelf and give it a wink and/or finger guns (i accept judgement for this, but not criticism). anyway, i've always wanted to get into journaling but i don't feel artistic enough to attack a blank page. your journal has finally unlocked that for me. i can't make the pages be pretty, but that's ok because you already did it for me! so i just gotta fill in the blanks and i love that. ok enough gushing, back to watching the video.
ik u said that u’ve read some other bell hooks books so u might’ve already read communion: the female search for love, but i read it after all about love & it totally changed my life!!! like genuinely loved it & in my opinion it’s better than all about love
Definitely not that girl,literally on my bed working and procrastinating and listening to music till it hurts my ears and reading fanfiction. Also...I DESPISE self help books too Except I bought atomic habits because Pinterest told me to and I have read two pages which kind of did sound good.... Love ur videos:)
I think you should read Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan since you really liked Conversations with Friends and My Dark Vanessa. I feel like Acts of Desperation is very similar to those books. It’s one of my favorite books of all time!! It’s so good and so important!
My Dark Vanessa is the type of book that really stuck with me. I read it a while ago, but I still think about it sometimes. Which rarely happens to me. Not an easy topic to read about, but I loved it. Brilliantly written also.
I personally prefer own voices non fiction books about trauma, but that is largely due to my personal history and triggers. I understand why books like My Dark Vanessa are important. They're eye opening about things that really, really deserve open eyes.
I love the captions changing half of "that girl" to "bat girl" 😭 I was also disappointed with Normal People but enjoyed Beautiful World, Where Are You. I was a bit hesitant but definitely picking up Conversations with friends now!
i've noticed that a lot of people who enjoyed CWF don't always enjoy her other books, but some people really love them all! so i hope you end up enjoying them 💕
Great analyses. I'm definitely not going to read Dark Vanessa, but it was really interesting to hear from you about it. Also, your hair is so so so beautiful
one year later, still watching haha :) love your reading experiments, please do more! Also... is there a video of you reviewing Rebecca and your other favorite novels?
i know that it’s still quite a few months away but maybe for the winter months you could do a “5 cosy mysteries” type thing. i’ve been loving these video btw 🫶🏻
I would love to see a video where you read some new YA fantasy books! That’s how I discovered your channel and I think it could be fun to see your thoughts on the new stuff! Love these video they’re so good!! Keep up the great work 😊
okay im all emosh: these videos are so warm and comforting and hilarious. i hope youre having a blast with this series, and that youre just well in general. 💕
Those quotes you read from My Dark Vanessa were the exact moments that hit me, too. This story means so much to me & I'm so glad you saw all the nuance in it.
Really liked this video! Suggestions for another video: I once set myself a challenge where I read 10 books, one book per decade starting from the 1920s (these were all books I already owned). I made it to the forties and got distracted lol, especially since the books I chose for the twenties and thirties were each sort of avant-garde and then the first one I chose for the forties was very boring and I DNFed, and then the second was extremely dry and heady; I did manage to finish it but that's when I got kinda tired. Anyway maybe someone could finish it lol.
