Song of Achilles is not a sobbing sadness to me. It is a heavy, empty sadness. It feels like lost love and I think that is how it is meant to feel. The waiting, emptiness before the end of the book was really what grief has felt like to me
i hate the way people promote the song of achilles as a "cry book" because then people are disappointed, when its actually such a good beautifully written book
Yes ofc.. I just finished reading it.. It only made me like a drop of tear when patroclus died..other than that.. Its not really a sob book.. Its a book with beautifully and very moving writing style which i adored..
It’s not really a full on sob book, to me it was more like a heartbreaking, numbing feeling. It made me want to cry and sob but it made me feel more empty and sad than anything.
Thanks, I didn’t cry and I couldn’t understand why. Is there something wrong with me? But it did leave me staring at my ceiling with heavy emptiness in my chest
We are because it opens up a new world we didn't know existed. As humans, we are always in the pursuit of happiness and always resisting pain. This balances the equilibrium of feeling. It can be obsessing because we have never felt this kind of pain, and that pain is also a way for us to appreciate happiness more. I have been a victim of child molestation, this book made me feel that I am not alone in this world, that somewhere out there, a person understands my pain though it is kind of sad that that person is a stranger, but when you have this trauma, that isn't anymore important. We feel that somehow, we are heard in someone else's words and we are worthy of being told a story of. That gives us ACCEPTANCE. That we are okay for who we are.
Hello, I am an anonymous author. The first short book is about a little girl who has been affected by the war in Syria.. Please help it to be seen.. Thank you.
The thing that got me with Song of Achilles was how *hopeful* it read. Like they had so much hope that everyone wasn’t actually doomed in the end. Oddly enough it was a scene with Thetis that made me cry at the end 🥲
This is exactly what happened to me with this book and They both die at the end, in a given moment they gave hope for them to actually surviving and not being doomed, and I guess I was optimistic, which was the wrong move, and that led me to cry and end up shattered by their endings.
I just want to get it through people’s minds in case they still don’t understand: A little life is not just a sad book that is guaranteed to make you cry, it is a deeply disturbing story with graphic descriptions of triggering subjects. Please, for the love of god, do not pick this book up if you don’t think you can handle it. Even if you do think you can handle it, you HAVE to proceed with so much caution. Just know that it’s okay to put down the book if you feel uncomfortable reading it at any moment. There’s a reason so many people (including myself) don’t want to read this book at the moment and that’s solely because of what it is. Again: please proceed with caution!
!SPOILER! Agreed, I'm definitely putting that book aside until I'm doing better mentally or maybe I'll never read it because I heard it can be interpreted as romanticising s*icide
The book itself doesn't romanticized suicide. But if you're feeling depressed I really don't recommend reading it. It's very graphic about the descriptions of a character with suicidal idealization
Thank you for letting us know. I’ve heard how difficult A Little Life is and checked the trigger warnings and I’m having such a hard time deciding whether to read it or not. On one hand it hurts I can’t stand child abuse or the idea of harm to a kid (I’m guessing that’s a lot of these things have to do with Jude) however, on the the hand I feel like I’m the most capable and mentally ready to read the book. I don’t think I’ll ever be more prepared to read it; I’m comfortable with the idea of taking it slow and reading at my own pace. But I don’t want to go through just a torture fest. I want to be able to get something out of the story. I want there to be any reason why I was glad I read it. Not just a torture fest
i read this book with no trigger warnings, no idea what I was getting myself into; a week later after I finished the book, only then I shed tears. everything came crashing down all at once when I finished the book that I couldn't actually cry. My whole body was shaking, but no tears came out. I slept and then the next morning I put the book aside not looking at it for a whole week. After a week, I picked it up again and read the final ten pages. It's been over six months since I read it and I still cry just thinking about it
@@toria.rey. so I’ve read it, in not my best state honestly but I don’t really get easily triggered. It was deeply emotionally challenging and really heartbreaking, but I don’t think it was like torture porn. It had bits that were graphic, and sometimes I reflect on it and wrestle with how necessary it was. But you absolutely get something out of this book, it’s very very very well written and the characters - well it’s an epic spanning decades of their lives so without giving too much away, it’s not just this graphic horribleness showing the worst of tragedy, there’s more to it than that. And if you are capable right now, take your time but I think you could read it.
27:33 the “why would you write this, why would you write this book” is like a trending audio on booktok and bookstagram….it’s so sad to just randomly hear you crying on my fyp😭😭😭
I went into Song of Achilles knowing NOTHING. I didn’t know how it would end and I didn’t know the characters would fall in love. I cried at the end and fully enjoyed reading it. I love this author’s writing so much
I'm at the Little Life segment of the video, and even at the beginning it was obvious how the book was already upsetting you. So I just want to say that you don't ever have to force yourself to read smth that's disturbing or deeply affecting you in a negative way, for a video. I know I speak for everyone else here when I say that we love you and your videos, but if anything you're reading troubles you in any way, it's always okay to just let it go. We value your well-being just as much as the content you create 🥰 I hope you're feeling better now and have moved on from that book ✨
I absolutely agree with this. Please do not ever put yourself through something on our account. Your viewers are always going to place your mental health over some thoughts on a book.
absolutely, your health and emotional safety and well being will always come first, Hannah. We're glad to be here for you in all stages of your life and will always support the decisions that are best for you
There is so much to learn in this comment section. I’ve spent as much time here as watching the video. Really makes you see how one book can mean so many different things to different people.
The amazing thing about literature and media. I love seeing the many interpretations people have. Personally, it's the best part of sharing that content, too.
If you think "A Man Called Ove" is sad then you need to read Backman's other book "My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry" that book made full body sob in public.
I wholeheartedly recommend all of Backman's books. I got teary eyes for ALL of them without exception. I especially liked Anxious people. His books are so deep and so subtle at the same time, I just love it.
When I originally read They Both Die At the End, I ended up loving the characters so much that I started DISBELIEVING what the title promised. I was like, "Oh no, they won't actually die, that's not what's going to happen." So yeah, I was sobbing but to each their own, sorry you didn't like it.
EXACTY I love this book so much. I fell in love with Mateo ( I think that’s how you spell it) . And their relationship was way to cute for me!!! And I don’t know if I’m just not looking the right way, but when I see booktoks, I don’t really see They Both Die At The End as their favorites or anything.
Same! I was upset for three days straight after reading it, had such a hard time getting over their deaths just because both Rufus and Mateo felt so real to me.
i was honestly surprised that she thought that the characters were shallow because we got A LOT of information about mateo's and rufus' past, their view of the world, how the value relationships etc. it was just a cutout, a single day of their life, but i felt like i really understood their motivations and what actually made the attracted to each other. i wish she would've gotten more into depth as to why she thought their development was shallow because i feel like every single achievement was truly earned because they both grew with and through each other
I read the song of Achilles last night and when I tell you I was SOBBING by the last five chapters. The thing that makes me cry with books is knowing the fate of the characters even before they do/knowing that they cannot change their fate. Must be why I cried reading they both die at the end too. It just feels hopeless from the beginning but you start to get attached to these character that you want to doubt their destiny. It’s kind of a mind fuck that makes me BAWL
Same here, I read it during one of the hardest times of my life. Safe to say, not a good idea. My great grandmother was in the hospital and at the time I felt like no matter what I do it would just end with the same result. Failure. I couldnt even visit her anymore, but when I read that quote by Achilles, "When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him." I felt my heartbreak. It helped me visit my grandmother again but also amplified my loneliness 10 times when she passed. Fucking Paris and Helen of troy can suck it.
I also read these two books, but both made my cry for entirely different reasons *spoilers ahead*..in they both die at the end I was mostly mourning the fact that they didn't have enough time anymore to have a real love story and to really fall in love. Just this hopelessness of "not having enough time", only finding each other on their last day and them being so young broke my heart. With SoA, I just got incredibly scared that Patroclus would not be able to join Achilles in the after-life. The thought of him being tethered to Earth without Achilles, not finding peace and both being alone for eternity scared the shit out of me and made me bawl my eyes out. Also this part where him and Thetis talked about if she really wants Achilles to only be remembered by things he did in grief and rage.. damn. In some ways Song of Achilles felt like a nice continuation of They both die at the end, because in the latter we can only hope that they find each other wherever one goes after death but in SoA we KNOW and that healed my small broken heart if only a little bit.
I’ve actually never heard of A Little Life being deeply disturbing (just that it’s sad) and I’m really glad I saw this video. I already have a really hard time getting through books that cover depressing material and now I know that I’ll never pick that one up. That whole list of TWs was a big pass for me. I hope you’re feeling better now! Loved this video btw 💕
Yeah, many booktubers want to look cool and just say it's very sad, omitting that it can be so damaging for one's mental health. It's a very triggering book, no joke. I appreciate that she said it. I also wish people would stop talking about it so much as it encourages people who might not be in a good place mentally to read it.
I think A Little Life is one the best books I've ever read, and I completely loved it. But I could never recommend it to anyone else, because of how triggering it could be. I don't regret having read it, at all. It was a beautiful experience, and I fell in love with the characters, but yeah, it's pretty upsetting. I guess that the fact that I'm a Psychology student explains why I was so interested in it..
As someone who has gone through much trauma in my life, I personally feel the REASON for books being written this deeply, this disturbingly is because people don’t BELIEVE US people don’t understand how BAD life can be. I’ve been told I’m telling story’s and it’s not that bad and I’m being dramatic many many times and I feel like these books are written for people who’ve never been through this or similar. to force you to understand
I somewhat agree with this. But if we're talking about A Little Life. The author purely wrote that for shock value and to be as disturbing as possible. She even admitted that she didn't really research the topics present in her book.
With all due respect, why would you want someone to go through even a fraction of the trauma you experienced by reading it in graphic detail? If someone doesn't believe you or make an effort to understand what you went through, they're an asshole, it doesn't have to do with the fact that you didn't go into enough detail to make them uncomfortable and literally traumatize them. Normal people can experience the same amount of sadness and empathy by hearing you went through something without it being described to them graphically. Anyone who actually wants to read something that disturbing in graphic detail is a voyeur and needs help and you can't convince me otherwise.
Yes for a therapy assignment once I was told to write out what happened to me. Before this no one had really cried a lot but after they read my detailed description the therapist even cried.
@@swindellstudios770 Do you think the people around you needed to be that upset to believe you, help you, and empathize with you though? I believe people can be just as moved and upset by what happened to you without it being described to them in graphic detail. Also, I'm wondering if you used graphic detail? I'm not sure if you've read the book, but I'm sure it's a lot more graphic than what a survivor would use (this author is not). There's a difference between saying and explaining what happened and using traumatizing and graphic language that makes the reader feel the trauma themselves.
I read A Man Called Ove for my contemporary literature class this year, and I literally could not stop crying, it was so embarrassing sometimes because I was in class. It just really tugs on your heart strings, but also makes you think more about life.
I listened to A Man Called Ove while out and about running errands. I burst into tears as I was walking down the street. People must have thought I was crazy. It was quite therapeutic somehow though.
@@AClockworkReader I really love Miracles of the Namiya General Store, it is a beautiful little fairy tale. It is not completely tooth rottingly sweet, it is very touching and a little bit whimsical though 😊
@@AClockworkReader can you read Tahira In Bloom? It’s pretty good :) (I did cry a little but it was more like I cld relate to it, but it’s very subtle) it’s a real feel good at the ending!
I had heard people who had been traumatized felt seen by A Little Life, and heeding the trigger warnings, I decided to read it myself. As someone who has been deeply traumatized, I felt like it might bring me some catharsis. Unfortunately, that was not my experience. The book takes a strangely anti-therapy perspective, mirroring the author's own opinion of therapy. There's no hope, not even a little. I didn't cry, as I seldom do, but at the end I ended up feeling tired. It felt to me that from the beginning, Jude was marked as irreparably damaged. His trauma was too much. I saw myself and my trauma in Jude, but not in a way that felt comforting or like I was seen. To clarify, I loved the book's prose and it was a uniquely heartwrenching experience, but I left it wondering what the authorial intent was. I read some interviews of Hanya Yanagihara, and I was left feeling deeply uncomfortable. She claims to have no particular special interest in the relationships of queer men, and yet her books seem to focus on them. This is not wrong, nor am I saying that heterosexual women (To clarify, Yanagihara does identify as heterosexual) should be forbidden from writing about queer men, but there is a little bit of discomfort there for me.
This!! I’m not deeply traumatized, but I’ve struggled w SH since I was a small child, and this book didn’t make me cry, it just left me feeling tired hopeless and anxious. I didn’t finnish it, because I knew the ending was inevitable based on the way the book was written and I didn’t want to subject myself to that. I feel like this book could have been so so so much better if it just ended with Jude finding a way to cope with his trauma and live a decent life.
The song of Achilles did have me tear up but just barely, it was honestly one of the most beautifully written books I’ve read in a while though. Loved it.
Honestly you’ve convinced me to never read A Little Life. I was curious about it but I didn’t think it would be this intense and when you said “I could never be mentally healthy enough to read this” that was when I knew I definitely could not handle it with my own mental health issues. And it doesn’t seem worth it to try. I genuinely hope this book doesn’t affect you like this anymore. It was truly so heartbreaking to see how this messed with you just from the way you talk about the book and I hope you’re doing better Hannah 💜
it’s been months now and I think it’s finally not affecting me as much (thankfully). it took me so long to edit this video because it was honestly difficult to re-experience myself reading it loll. but I’m finally reading more books again and I can gladly say they’re all much happier 🥰
@@AClockworkReader Glad to hear! Thank you for pushing through and finishing this video even though it was difficult for you. I really appreciate it, as I know now to stay far away from that train wreck book. I’d rather sob to Blue & Grey instead 😂💜 Ps: I’m loving my reading journal! You did a great job with the illustrations and layout!
A Man Called Ove made me freakin' SOB. The past timeline was so sad and to see how Ove ended up with his current personality was just so sad and the book was so heartwarming at the end. It's one of my favorite books now.
FINALLY! Finally someone with the same opinion about "Normal People"! This is awesome! I felt like an outsider that this particular book was boring to the bone...
HELL YEA! It was probably one of the most boring books I have ever read, it took my THREE MONTHS to actually get to page 100. I didn’t even finish it 😭
OHH NO YOU CANT UNDERSTAND HOW HAPPY I AM I felt like it was one of the few that made me really waste my time but everywhere I looked people we glorifying it and I was just there thinking how people actually have this a 5 stars
I honestly really liked Normal People, but I think I connected with the characters bc of how introverted they seemed and how they don’t really use big, extravagant words or images to paint their inner world. I’d say this one’s for people that identify with not being able to say everything they mean to say and have issues with social anxiety. I related to both mains, because I’m a little shy and awkward. 🤷🏻♀️
One of the reasons I enjoyed A Little Life (even tho I cried for hours on end after finishing it) is that it made me feel. The writing was beautiful, and I felt the love of friendship, the love of a lover, the love of a father. But also just how much a human can hurt another human. How much a person can hate themselves. I also enjoyed the perspective that people don’t always get better. People don’t always heal, and not every life has a happy ending. It made me think of what some people go through on a daily basis. I was born into a good family, of 2 wonderful people that believe in love, my parents. This was a reality slap. But what’s so heartbreaking isn’t even Jude, because he’s fictional. It’s the people that have had a similar experience. This book broke me completely. It was beautiful and it was horrible.
Same. It's been years since I experienced such vast range of emotions from 1 book. I broke several things in the house just so I can deal with mind exploding range. I have never felt this level of anger to a point of seeing red. Ever. I was filled with the deepest hate. And I was also crying from the tenderness, love, friendship, happiness. I think it changed me, and I hope to become a better person. It's been 2 months since I read it. I think of Jude daily.
I feel that The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a fantastic example of bringing up trauma in a sensitive way. It brings up the emotions it’s meant to, without trying to hurt the reader like in A Little Life.
I’m reading normal people right now and when you said “I feel like I’m reading a different book than everyone else” I felt that. I am struggling to get through it!!!
I honestly think the show does a much better job at telling the kind of story normal people is about- the chemistry between the two main actors and their performances are both so strong that I was very invested even though nothing much happens in terms of plot
A Man Called Ove made me SOB. SO HARD. and not even just from the sad parts. the parts where he talked about how much he loved his wife made me cry my eyes out as well. i can't even begin to explain all the emotions that book made me feel
I had so much hope for a little life in the beginning. The way it described their friendship, the way they grew, their hardships, their mundane lives. It was just so beautifully written. I also liked how she just hinted at the problems jude had and subtly peeked our interest in his story. Especially his storyline with Harold was just beautifully told. And then she just turns around pours out all this trauma. It's like she's just trying to think of the most gruesome things a person could go through, describing it as detailed as possible. She builds these amazing, facetted characters and then just starts torturing them for shock value. It's so unfortunate
Also I went into this thinking it would just be sad. Nobody told me about triggerwarnings. I feel like I can stomach a lot, but this isn't something you can just read comfortably.... it's crazy that this is so commonly recommended
“Why are we so obsessed with being voyeurs to other people’s trauma?” I wonder this all the time, especially with how people talk about and recommend this book (I also agree it’s really irresponsible). I only managed to get a hundred or so pages into this book before I noped out because I could tell it was headed in a really rough direction, and after hearing your thoughts, I’m so glad I didn’t continue.
Books are a way for people to relate to the human experience. A lot of people are traumatized, so having that representation in books make humans feel less a line… more normal. For some people, A Little Life can be cathartic and a testament that sometimes, for some people, there are no happy endings. It’s not gratuitous.
I honestly thought about reading A Little Life this month even, while not being in a great mental place at the moment. I normally enjoy some sad emotional reads, but I feel like you've saved me from that serious pain of A Little Life. I don't think I've seen someone really go into the 'why' of why the author would write such an explicit book as you have. I like the question you brought up also, about why our society is very interested in other people's trauma. It makes me wonder why so many are so obsessed with looking into others' pain.
@@sk4348 I'm 46 and I find that as I age I have less tolerance for sad, explicit, gritty content. I know how monstrous people can be. I do seek out content that has depth but I am more particular on how it is portrayed. So I guess it's the explicit and disturbing that I don't tolerate well rather than something that is just sad. I don't know if I am making sense. I think everyone has different experiences with this. Thank you for sharing yours and for giving me something to reflect on.
@@KEML1256 And? (I mean what did she answer. No offense intended to anyone but i haven't watched any interview of hers n' would love to know the 'why' or back-story behind writing this story)
@@surenderbeniwal8578 I think you should definitely watch an interview of hers then, because I can’t explain it as well as she did. But basically, she said she wanted to portray a story of someone who doesn’t heal, and doesn’t get a happy ever after, and where ‘love’ isn’t the solution.
@@KEML1256 oh okay i get it, like proving against the notion that 'love conquers all' or something. Some people remained unhealed *nod nod * I will watch one :) for sure. Thanku!
The reason TSOA made me cry is because I knew what would happen, it's because of the aparent foreshadowing that Achilles is unaware of. When Achilles says "What has Hector ever done to me?" I broke. I cried like hell. I loved the prose, and I loved the foreshadowing because it's meant to be aparent for us, the readers. We know how the story ends, and that's what truly made it heartbreaking for me, the fact that we know how it ends. My brother and my mom cried when they read it as well.
Normal People is so so much about an Irish experience, and about the experience of trying to survive socially in Irish secondary schools and college, so as an Irish person who goes to a very elitist college in Dublin a lot of the themes really hit home. For a lot of Irish people it's like looking at a book about your own life, and is so so highly relatable, so it's interesting to see how when that connection cant be drawn by you personally as a reader it just lacks substance and depth - that's not a critique I've heard before!!
Every person who dislikes the book has the same critique - rightfully so. Rooney writes flat characters who whine about first world problems. Edit to add that I should be the perfect target audience for Rooney's books and I hated every single one of them. Really liked the BBC series though.
this!! a lot of people discuss sally rooney's books through an oftentimes very american lens, especially with the popular 'they need to just go to therapy' critique, seeming to not realise that therapy and mental illness is still a very taboo subject in many areas of the world, especially ireland due to the entrenched religious (esp catholic) culture. sally rooney's books really can't be separated from their irish context, because so much of what she explores is wrapped up in that. but it definitely is interesting to see how other people approach it!
I read conversations with friends and despised it but happy for y'all to have an author you relate culturally to. I often feel this way about critiques of certain Japanese media, like they're just not getting it bc they don't know the culture not really, despite the experts many weebs seem to believe themselves
A little life was sad, and yes disturbing. But overall, the depth of Jude’s thoughts and the characters actions are meant not to shock…but show you the truths of life. This book was very close to my heart as my life and those closest to me have experience many of these things firsthand. I appreciated the graphics because it is the raw truth. It might feel like unnecessary shock value, but to me it was reality. Obviously the degree of Jude’s suffering was not something I have personally experienced, but damn if it didn’t remind me of my Mother. I didn’t see it sad so much as I got an opportunity to see how she, and so many others that have been scarred by their past and even present truly feel.
@UC1QSGt5X4bg97paWeP9EotA I’m happy you mentioned their newest novel, as I didn’t know that. I have to say if this is a pattern of the authors (the fascination of queer trauma) that you speak of, then that is a problem in of itself that puts the author into question. As a stand alone novel I truly do feel it wasn’t meant to shock, however, that doesn’t mean the authors intent wasn’t to shock. It’s just how I interpret it, maybe it just speaks to my desensitization:) thanks !
I find the book just trying to sell trauma and sad topics. It's like Hannah said, if you want to express your trauma you shouldn't and probably won't go with this.
@@ramirez4630 and you probably shouldn't tell someone who has experienced similar trauma how to go on about it. it's a book, its literature, it's art, it's venting through art. just as you'd write more lightly about some "smaller" trauma, this is how some of us would write about ours.
All the Bright Places made me sob in a way I didn't expect. I highly recommend it, but I'd also say be aware there are mentions of death, suicide, and suicidal ideation. Nothing all that graphic, but it's a big theme in the book.
I think your position on reading trauma like in a little life, is absolutely your right to feel that way. I would say though that as someone who does have a lot of first hand experience with trauma, it is worth bearing in mind that for some of us, reading books that deal with serious trauma is really the only time we can often relate to books. A lot of the time it's very hard to read books and empathise with characters when their biggest problems feel hollow compared to serious trauma you've faced. Likewise, reading stories we can relate to, or are even worse than our own, can make us feel a little less alone and can feel strangely cathartic. It's very rare that we get that kind of representation and on the rare occasion it does happen, it's labelled as disgusting and used by people as a challenge. I understand you saying you feel detail was unnecessary, however, the best way for me to explain about the sharing of detail, is that hearing someone else's details makes you feel safe enough to share your own details back with them - and yes I know that might sound dramatic and yes I know they are fictional characters, but for some of us, they're the only ones it feels safe enough to talk to within our own heads. While you felt disgusted, sometimes being able to relate to a character's life, makes us feel less disgusting - because that's what a lot of us hear when we hear people saying over and over again how disgusting things we've been through are, we hear that WE are disgusting. And so being able to relate to a fictional character and cry with them over shared pain, isn't always as simple as just being voyeurism and disturbed. So please don't take this as a hate message, my intention is honestly just to help you understand because you seem to genuinely not understand how a book like this can be beautiful or helpful for some people that have experienced trauma.
That’s was a really enlightening thing to read and I think it somehow put into words why I HATED Normal people. As someone who’s deeply neurodivergent and will never get to be a normal person, someone who works insanely hard all the time to simply give an illusion of normalcy, seeing two honestly average people of average intelligence tell me how weird and genius they were was like a alap in the face. It felt like someone was spitting on me. Thank you for putting that into words and, if you ever read this I hope you know that you are loved and deserving of love. You will never be disgusting because of your trauma and the things people have done to you don’t sully you, they just make your abusers dirtier
I 100% agree with you!! To me it was very relatable in some ways as well unfortunately, and to have this representation of reading how nothing is my fault felt really beautiful to me. It’s very difficult to explain, but it made me feel not alone I guess.
It is so hurtful for me to know that there are such hells on earth that people go through. I can see why you would feel this sort of thing relatable. I would never read this book. but I would never call what you experienced disgusting because it is part of you and what has made you who you are. You don't have to let your trauma rule you for the rest of your life but you can never truly leave something like that truly behind. Just know that there are many more good things in life to experience than bad.
The problem with the hype around A Little Life is that people are reading it with the mindset that it'll "make them cry". It's not a book intented to "make you cry", it's a story to make you understand, feel, empathize and inform you about what's going on in some people's lives and minds. Of course not many people have been through the trauma of Jude's degree, but I see him as a character representing the collective population who has been through trauma. If you want to read this book, don't take figuratively all the miseries that Jude has been through; read it having in mind the thousands, millions of people who have been through the same things and feel the way he does. As someone who had experiences similar to Jude it made me feel validated, made me seen at last. Bonus points for the amazing characters and the beautiful prose of course.
A little life to me has become my favorite book of all time and I crave more books like this for the sole purpose to feel. It’s a read that not everyone can handle and it’s incredibly disturbing, but for me, it makes me feel something so strong that it helped me with my mental health. I released so much emotion through this book and I had never wanted to pick up a book faster.
@@stargirIll your comments are kinda... maybe don't invalidate someones experiences and behaviors bc you don't understand/ it doesn't align w your own.
Outside making sure to have the trigger warnings I found A Little Life really speaks on the very thing people are ignorate about and refuse to acknolwedge in writing. So many books have little aspects of trauma but never go into it enough or acknowledge what trauma can do. I appreciate this book, its beautfuil writing and it speaks a truth of trauma and how not everyone's experience is a neat and tidy ending. Maybe its my background in social work and the populations I work with as I hear these stories every day. I do believe a trigger warning needs to be included but I found it to be one of the best books I've read in 2021.
Yes, thank you! I hear many people talk about how Jude's trauma is so frequent and constant and overbearing and you never get a break from it. But people who've suffered from and are living with trauma NEVER GET A BREAK FROM IT. That's the point. Readers should definitely be advised of content-because it is a lot- but to say it's too much just totally ignores the reality of people whose lives have been filled with, and sometimes defined by, trauma. I also think it's a little demeaning to make a blanket statement saying people who've experienced trauma wouldn't want to read this. Don't talk for them. They want to talk for themselves. For what it's worth, as a librarian, the people I've heard talk most highly about A Little Life are people with similar experiences with abuse, self-harm, or progressive disability as it made them feel seen. None of them have (so far) expressed that it was "trauma porn" or anything like that. People's experiences are different. At least this book definitely gets the discussion going.
@@jessicajones6383 Thank you! you put all my thoughts into words, especially with the second bit. I understand why she feels the way she feels personally but everyone will experience it differently and I disagreed with nearly all her criticisms of it and feel she just wouldn't understand the depth of the things that happen in this book in the way people with similar trauma would
@@Rvk1a64 um I think it would be an extremely bad idea for someone with trauma similar to that of the main characters to read this book. I don't think this book was written for mentally ill/traumatised people, as they can't read it without getting triggered.
@@jessicajones6383 in this very comment section are many people that have gone to similar traumas describing how this book is very harmful and was harmful to them specifically. i have also seen many say that it brought them comfort and made them feel seen. idk which one outweighs the other but it is undeniably harmful. idk, i think it could’ve maybe been written in a different way. idk. but it has many different receptions to it so it’s not fair to also claim it’s not negatively impacting people or it’s not worthy of criticism.
@@RenaissanceK At no point did I make this claim. And neither of those instances outweighs the other. That is the point. The very reason people should know the trigger warnings in this book is so that they can make an informed decision. Every single person is allowed to make the decision on whether or not to read it. Absolutely no one HAS to read it, no matter their background. You CAN just put the book down if it's going to negatively impact you. But it is still not fair to speak for everyone who does find comfort in the book. I know people who have not read it because they know it will be triggering. That is valid and they are making the right decision for themselves. My comment was in regard to the people who DID read it and who spoke to me about it and it still stands. People can speak for themselves and be heard. They have that right. Both positive and negative sides should be listened to, but one doesn't outweigh the other simply because this is a book. No one has to read it.
Your opinion on A Little Life is exactly how I felt about 13 Reasons Why. Thank you bc you’ve convinced me to never read that book for my own well-being
13 reasons why is literally my least favourite book ever written but it’s so strange because A little Life is (in my opinion) a masterpiece and my favourite thing I’ve ever read
*I don't think people should read "the little life" just for a good cry* the book is more than that and any person shouldn't just go in with the thinking that they r reading it just because they want to cry ,that's absolutely ridiculous. That book physically hurts n one should think more than twice before reading it
I personally didn't cry when reading the song of achilles but it did make me feel a sort of soul crushing sadness, deep in my chest. It was probably because I already had a deep attachment to achilles and patroclus (I'm a gay guy who's been through tragedies and I latched onto achilles very strongly) but this book really affected me and to this day, it is one of my all time favorite book
I just finished A Little Life, and I'm sad that it's so hard for others to get through. As someone who has gone through a portion of the type of trauma Jude did, I respectfully disagree with so much of what you said. In my opinion there were many many times she could have gone into more detail and chose to leave it vague, and I think she was sensitive to how much detail to give to convey the reality of these events without going too far. It had so many, so many beautiful lessons and messages; if you didn't get anything but depression from it, I think you either were too shocked by the events and shouldn't have continued reading it, or you listened to the audio book too fast and glossed over it, and didn't sit with it. Your opinion is valid, of course, but I want to give my view as well just in case anyone here feels scared away from it because it honestly was an incredibly beautiful book. Just know what you're getting into and stop reading if you can't handle it.
If I may speak to an aspect of the book that is discussed rarely--disability. Spoilers abound. So, Jude and his physical disability. I'm not going to go super into detail about my own experience of disability, but suffice it to say: VIVID descriptions of Willem finding Jude in extreme pain in the bathroom is shockingly accurate to my own experiences and was deeply, deeply upsetting. The book did not mention much about his disability until closer to the end, when everything goes wrong. Jude becomes an amputee, and once again, VIVIDLY describes the difficulty of living with that. And while I may not be an amputee, I strongly identify with the pain of those sections of the book. Jude's pain is not beautiful. Someone finding you in extreme pain almost unable to move is not beautiful. I am not saying it shouldn't be portrayed, but this is entirely excessive and traumatizing. This book also only highlights the discomfort and/or pain when it comes to living with a physical disability, and essentially portrays the disabled experience as miserable and not worth living through, EXTREMELY damaging messaging. For that alone, this book is not only not my cup of tea in the slightest but actively harmful to the community it attempted to portray. The disabled experience is not solely pain. The disabled experience is worth living through. The disabled experience can be and is beautiful--but you would be remiss to find any of those reasons/experiences on display.
A book isn’t good just because it was sad and tragic and traumatic. Torture porn is putting a character through so much trauma for the sake of making you sick. It’s lazy writing. Punch bag characters don’t make a book worth reading. Yeah the stuff he goes through is real but that doesn’t make the book good
100% agree. As someone who has also gone through some of the things discussed in this book and who gained comfort from this book, it was extremely invalidating to hear someone speak in such a disgusted way about the book as if people who enjoy the book are sick and twisted. I thought and thought about why this book gets such a strong reaction because its graphic when body horror books are way more graphic yet they're fine. I recently read a Stephen King book with a very detailed and upsetting r*pe scene. Why is that different? I came to the conclusion that this book explored self harm more than anything I've ever seen, and self harm makes people so uncomfortable they'd rather not know it exists. I can speak from experience as someone who used to self harm. What this book does that other portrayals of self harm often miss out on is doctors visits and actually properly caring for wounds. Why on earth did you keep reading this book when it upset you so much? I wouldn't say this is the usual reaction to this book, if this book sent you into a spiral for actual *months* then you are not someone who should go out of your way to make a video reading sad books just to get views.
@Linda Les I wouldn't say the novel glorifies or condones anything but I'm not sure I can safely recommend it to you, I think it really depends on the individual and if you're worried it might be better to avoid it as it is very graphic
@@charlyreynhorse doesn't Stephen King also get criticism for some of his more questionable scenes (I especially remember the gangbang scene of the minors in IT being pointed out and criticised a lot)? I don't read his books and don't watch too many videos about his work, but I do remember several people criticising some of his graphic disturbing scenes in various videos. I guess the key question is what is the point of an extremely graphic disturbing scene? Does it develop the story in any way? Does it teach you any valuable lessons and brings light to victims of the described traumatic event? Is it written in a way that makes you develop more empathy for and understand people better that went through similar things? Or is it just trauma porn and in the story to disturb the reader and satisfy someones voyeuristic desires to witness cruelty? The intention of authors is important and should be questioned
i was very intrigued by a little life, and considered picking it up but now i think reading it might be a form of self-harm in itself. i really appreciate your clear words on this book, thanks for looking out for your audience!
The sobbing for A Man Called Ove? Damn, girl, 100% feel you! I read it last month: I laughed and cried, and gave it 5 stars and told my boyfriend he should read it too.
I am literally the most sensitive and emotionally unstable person I know, and while I did empathize with Jude and was of course horrified with all the vile things done to him and I also did love many of the characters in A Little Life, it did not make me cry as much as I thought it would, definitely did not end up bawling which I 100% expected I would. Mostly, I was just raging mad (at JB and later on at the author for putting Caleb into the story) and frustrated.
I read A Man Called Ove for ap lit and it made me cry more than any other book in that class did. It was beautiful and heartbreaking and just wonderfully written.
you made me remove a little life from my tbr. honestly, i think i could handle its insanely long trigger list (im rly sorry it affected you this badly) because i am super desensitized HOWEVER i loved the discussion you brought up „why do people want to read about this intense trauma and why do they enjoy it“ - there is a similar discussion to be had about true crime (and why i stopped listening to a lot of podcasts etc. that were really just sensationalist hiding behind the label of telling the victim‘s story) i do agree that stories that include the horrible traumas of the world we live in (especially ofc real victims‘) need to be told but there is absolutely no reason for the gruesome details to be told in a way that can be retraumatizing if we can‘t feel empathy for and believe someone‘s trauma without being told every horrible detail then there‘s something wrong with us thank you for bringing up this conversation i think it‘s super important
Thank you so much for saying that. I stopped listening to true crime podcasts because of the same reason. It just got to be too much and just made me uncomfortable after a while.
But i feel like with things like this, you do really reach an deeper level of empathy in a way tho, don't you agree? I mean i do agree with you as well, some things are too much about people 'really enjoy these kinds of things'. But i feel like for me personally, it's so intresting to see the story and a perspective of some one with an heavy story, so that maybe other people will also share their stories faster and heal better. But also because i work in healthcare, i already have a lot of empathy, but because my life was so good overall, it's nice for me to read or see that there are some people with hard stories and a very hard life. If you kinda know what i mean. (I don't know if i really translate everything right from my words tho) *I didn't read A litte life (yet..?) Tho. I don't know if i will, also because it's so long and heavy, maybe it was more 'easy' to read if it was 3 times smaller.
@@elinehijlkema i get what you mean, and if this is about true crime as well, i do still listen to it, though only to very well researched podcasts that have some theme above just telling gruesome stories (eg. solving cases or law & psychological aspects) - however i think with „hearing the story“ it should be enough to know the basics of what happened to that person like that they were r*ped after being kidnapped idk or something like that, i think the discussion here is mostly about explicit and graphic description of every single horrible detail in that moment (like i think hannah has said is what happens in a little life for example) same with true crime, just because (from autopsy reports etc.) we KNOW how exactly a person was hurt, it doesn‘t mean that media should use these horrible details as a sort of clickbait (how it often does) i‘m sure that‘s not what you meant, i do agree telling these stories is important, but not in graphic detail
They Both Die at the End actually made me cry way too much, and idek why. I think that reading a sad book at a sad time in my life was what made me cry
I just wanted to throw out my thoughts since I see divided responses for A Little Life. We all think about how disturbing what happens to Jude is. How we could’ve gone our whole life not knowing those things. But imagine how people who have been through those types of things feel. They can never not go through it and it will be with them forever. It’s like when your significant other or best friend is telling you all the pain they’ve suffered because they need someone to understand. To know. And we say, “I’m sorry. That’s too much for me to handle”. Which is a fair thing. Some things ARE extremely hard to handle. But if we stop and think, “as hard as it is to hear, how hard is it to live through it?”, our perspectives mIght just change. Now there’s a difference between being drowned constantly in those stories and hearing it, understanding, accepting and then carrying on - but now with awareness. But for A Little Life, we are meant to see and feel as Jude does, for he’s the one who had suffered so much. I believe it’s a book that is meant to be read with discretion depending on the person. I do NOT think it is for everyone. But if someone decides to read it, and understand it for what it is, they’ll appreciate it. It’s definitely hard to read because of what happens to Jude, but Jude could be your coworker, your friend, that stranger walking on the side of the road. It’s important to understand that there are plenty of people out there who sadly experienced horrific things like he did, and that maybe if we see them wholly instead of turning our heads when it gets too hard, we might help them save their own lives. Also, personally, I didn’t think it was that extremely graphic. At least not with the abuse. It was detailed, yes, but perhaps I’ve read too many fan fics in my time (LOL) because I’ve read far more descriptive accounts of abuse, which were extremely disturbing and I had to back away many times. So maybe this also affected my thoughts on the book! But all in all, I loved your reviews and thoughts on these books!!! Thank you for sharing.
i dont think this is valid because the author has never been abused herself and never contacted people who suffered from abuse to produce something that was true to what they go through. in fact its funny that you bring up fanfiction because that’s exactly how this book read. like its literally a larry stylinson fanfic but with prose and an author whose clearly an academic 😭😭
@@aishah7730 everyone who read the book said it was disturbing because the author did write it so accurate and good like you would feel him. A lot of people, who where going through similar things said it feels like they would read their own past. I think this is enough to understand Someone don’t need to be affected to write it in a accurate way! The author is not her own book. She just tells the story. That’s what makes art unique
@@emmawarner9334 which makes it even weird, strange, and sadistic. being on a high horse writing about trauma you don't go through, making money off of it, probably affecting people who don't have similar well being to you while at it. gross. writing something traumatising tht could potentially harm someone's mental health at what cost? you all pull whatever cards you want to defend this book but i don't think it deserves to be hyped up as it obviously sensationalises trauma for shock value.
I completely agree with this! I think the book gave me a deeper understanding of themes, such as (among others) s*x trafficking, being disabled, domestic violence & self-harm, whereas prior to reading it my understanding of many of these experiences was surface-level and superficial. I do feel that it honestly made me more empathetic and less ignorant to what many people go through. By that I don’t mean that many people go through trauma to the extent Jude did, but many people are going through aspects of what he experienced. Also, I have heard stories where people really do through traumatic after traumatic event, because it’s often times like a chain reaction. Abusive people target vulnerable people. Hence, I don’t find it unrealistic. This book was extremely hard to read, but I can relate to what you mentioned about reading very graphic fanfics. I think they have also desensitised me to a point, where I could get through this book without it affecting my life negatively after. But yes, definitely read the trigger warnings, because it is genuinely painful to read.
Clockwork Princess is the only book that has ever made me full fledge cry to the point I had to put the book down before my tears could ruin the pages.
Seeing you read and talk about A Little Life makes me never ever want to touch that book. I read a short synopsis, because I couldn't stop myself, but even that made me feel physically ill just imagining it being described in detail. It's probably so much worse than I can even fathom. So no thank you to A Little Life. I'm so sorry it sent you into a downward spiral and I hope you're feeling better!! 🤍
totally agree with you on A Little Life. it's an unbearable read and I would never recommend it to a single person. and I was worried that there's something wrong with my perception because people seem to love it. It's just horrible.
Before anyone reads a Little Life, they need to read the author's interviews about her inspirations. Her goal was to write about a character who never gets better. She says she wanted to write a book that was like an ombre cloth where it starts a little grey and is just solid black at the end. She said she wants it to stain your soul. She also was trying to talk about her belief that psychiatry is the only medical practice that doesn't honor a person's right to die. She wants to argue that Jude wants to die and should because he is irrevocably broken. I disagree with her views but that's beside the point. I think people need to know these things going in. I went in cold, like I actually knew nothing. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but the writing is beautiful even if the story isn't. Another thing I had an issue with was that the author said she did no research when writing Jude and his experiences. Also, all of the characters are people the author openly claims to not identify with at all. Felt a little odd.
"the writing is beautiful, even if the story isn't" I think that describes A Little Life in a nutshell. Even though there were positive, loving, friendly and very touching parts, the horrible parts were very dominant. I never know whether I would recommend the book to others or not. I LOVED the way the characters and their feelings were written about and would rank the writing style as one of my favourite ever. But the topics are a lot to deal with. You read a lot without really wanting to read it.
Yessssssssss to the whole little life segment! FINALLY someone says that they hated the book and immaculately points out how problematic and utterly irresponsible all the trauma fetishism in the book is!! Thank you!
I'm still in the middle of watching this video. But I totally agree: A Little Life is just a huge book with all the terrible things that you can think of - and it feels too intentional and becomes unrealistic. Yes, the book was sad, but I didn't cry. And as the time goes by my opinion is changing and I'm really seeing the problems of that book. Everyone has their own opinions and that's fine but I still wouldn't really recommend A Little Life to anybody because it has some big issues. Personally I just can't really appreciate the way the book is done and I think it's a little weird how many people just love that book.
As a physically disabled person who experienced a lot of things in the book, I really loved A Little Life. I knows it not for everyone, though, but I don’t really see it as “trauma fetishism”. It is disturbing, but those are realities for a lot of people. You see the perspectives of people that have gone through those traumatic experiences and understand things you’ll probably never go through. Why should those experiences be censored? I don’t know, it’s one of my favorite books but maybe it’s because I share some of those experiences and I want to see the harsh realities of life represented in books. I have never been able to relate to a character in a book more than Jude and I 100% believe stories like this should be told. Maybe it’s not for you, but yeah, it kind of is invalidating to say it shouldn’t have been written.
Thank you for sharing your experience and why you loved the book. I was curious to see others' perspectives in the comments. I saw someone else have a similar reason. I was wondering if it was maybe unfair to say that anyone who went through similar trauma wholeheartedly wouldn't seek it out. As someone who has never been through any of those things I don't know what someone might seek out or read, especially since everyone's experience and how they handle it is different too.
I completely agree with this! I’m very thankful to be happy and healthy and I also completely adored this book. I absolutely understand that it’s not for everyone and going into it without prior knowledge of its potential triggers could be really harmful to some people however I think that whilst Jude goes through some truly horrific things there are also bright moments in his life and reading felt like growing with the character and living through his ups and downs alongside him. Not all books have to be happy and the things that happen to Jude are REAL things and real emotions and why should that be censored? And I don’t agree that it’s trauma fetishising either because surely that belittles the people who share similar experiences with the character. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying beautiful writing and a sad and memorable story. I will agree though that it’s a book I don’t think I will ever recommend to anybody - I loved it but it’s definitely a book you have to go into with full knowledge and a strong understanding of what you’re getting yourself in for and not because somebody else thinks you should read it.
I thought A Little Life was one of the best books I've ever read. There's no reason to sensor these things. If that were the case millions of books would fall under the same category. This book has a list of trigger warnings a mile long, so people need to just read them, or DNF if its too much. I'm glad she wrote it, and I'm so grateful I got to know these characters.
I’ll be honest, Song Of Achilles had me crying but not sobbing. I was just kind of sitting in bed when I finished it and I did have tears streaming down my face. I think what makes SOA so moving for some is that you WANT Patroclus and Achilles to be able to have a happy ending, but you also know that isn’t going to happen. Achilles even says it himself. It was the theme of inevitability and fate that moved me personally.
A Little Life changed my life, but for the better. I am very sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic time with the book and I really appreciate your discourse on the excessive descriptions of abuse included in it. I do think I come from a slightly different perspective, however. I, fortunately, have never experienced any of the abuses suffered in this book. However, I have someone very close to my heart going through some terrible things of a similar nature. And the true beauty of this book to me was how it writes Jude’s loved ones experiences and interactions to watching him suffer and how we can turn a blind eye to other’s pain because it’s uncomfortable and we know it would cause us pain as well to truly understand the extend of their suffering. To me the book was a warning of the dangers of not reaching out a helping hand. And caused me to realize that when before I thought it wasn’t my place to step into another’s relationship, I now see that I should have done it much earlier. And moreover, the end of the book taught me that it’s okay to fail. That if my efforts just lead to more pain, I cannot blame that on my self. I can only blame myself for inaction. That was the message that I took from this book and it was incredibly powerful. I do agree it was taken to an excessive extent and did not need to be written so graphically, but I do think this book has a powerful message and I am glad I read it. I hope this allows you to see the book in a slightly different light and know that it brought some good to the world.
I really think a wheelchair must have killed Hanya Yanagihara's entire family or something. The amount of hatred she projects onto a piece of medical equipment that, hey, most disabled people actually appreciate, is on another level. A Little Life reads like what would happen if you crawled inside the mind of the type of people prone to saying "I don't think I could do it if I were you" when they see you on the street minding your own business and rolling your chair into the coffee shop for an afternoon tea. I really promise that being a disabled person isn't that bad, y'all.
Personally I disagree, i don’t think that Jude’s distaste for the wheelchair comes from Hanya Yanagihara directly, rather it is his own fear of being seen as ‘damaged’ so to speak . To me Jude hates the wheelchair and the use of prosthetics because they are a physical manifestation of his trauma, with his other illness, like the implied STDs, are invisible to most people he can easily hide those, but once he uses a wheelchair everyone would be able to see that something was different about him and they may ask questions about it which Jude never wants to talk about. Jude’s hatred of the wheelchair comes solely from his desire to keep his past a secret, once he uses the wheelchair he can’t ignore the past he has to physically confront it. I don’t really think Hanya herself hates the use of wheelchairs because throughout the book everyone else beside from Jude is telling him the benefits of using a wheelchair, it is only Jude who hates the wheelchair and he is seen as in the wrong for it.
@@niamhdevlin9177 i also don’t think it’s fair to compare jude’s situation to other people because i agree that i believe his hatred comes from all the extremely horrific things that have happened to him and what led to him being disabled in the first place. i don’t think he hates the wheelchair simply because he’s disabled but because of how truly horrible his life has been and how traumatized he is and this physical trauma is 1) a trauma he can’t hide like you said, 2) a disability he gained from another extremely traumatizing and despicable experience he went through so it’s all tied up together and also 3) a trauma that he has received even more horrific violence inflicted onto him because of it and is the cause of a lot of torment he receives from other people. so although i hate this book and i truly don’t believe it needed to be written or written the way it was, the hatred jude has for the wheelchair is realistic i think. did it need to be included tho? probably not but i believe like half of this book didn’t need to be included because it’s torturous for the sake of being torturous. to me it didn’t read like “being disabled is the worst thing ever” at all!! i think everything that happens to jude is just horrific and his disability makes him confront it every single day. but none of it was needed, really. idk why she’d write this.
What a stupid comment- you do realise this is a fictional character? And I’d like to see your research sources when you say ‘most disabled people’ You didn’t like it, ok that’s fine - but don’t try and discredit it as the author’s ignorance because there are certainly plenty of people that will reject help
I don’t know, i don’t get why you’re mixing the thoughts of a fictional character with the thoughts of the author. At the end of the day, they are two different people. If a character in a book cannibalised others, for example, you wouldn’t say the author is a cannibal, right?
its so refreshing finding someone who makes good reviews on books. the way she reviewed them was so well done and she could see how truly bad some of those books were. highly enjoyed the video
I think what A Little Life gives is a good understanding of what people can go through in life. You feel their pain in a way you couldn't otherwise experience without actually undergoing the same trauma. I don't think everyone should read a little life. It's difficult, painful and traumatic. I do personally know someone who has undergone similar trauma and enjoyed the book, it made them feel seen. However it really messed them up for like a month. If you do plan on reading a little life please, please, be careful. It might not be worth it.
Watching this video and reading these comments about A Little Life makes me feel like there’s something wrong w my brain. I literally love that book. It has some of my favorite characters I’ve ever read. I have a trauma history that includes some of the things that are addressed in the book, and there were some times reading where I became physically nauseous, but I also couldn’t put it down? Because I was just rooting for all of them? And I feel like I understood little parts of all of them and I feel like there is so much love to be found in the positive relationships of that book. I think the descriptions are sometimes excessive but personally as someone with a Ptsd diagnosis who is also squeamish I was able to make it through. Not invalidating anyone here just want to say that some people might like A Little Life!!
I totally agree with you! This book is my favourite because I feel very seen with it. There’s a lot of sad but there’s a lot of love and hope. I get it’s not for everyone but it’s for me. I’m glad you liked it too.
@@AnjaMelissa ikr... Specially I liked the part where the book explores the idea how life makes up for the damage in some other way. Like harold and Julia adopting jude is such unlikely event but it happened. When JB said jude got the home, the man that jude got lucky that part. I think there's a particular hope in this book. It literally just shows that you can not give up on yourself. Also the found family element was so good makes people wanna be better.
It's not a favorite book of mine but I appreciated it and I didn't find it disturbing, although the stuff being depicted is straight up depressing and it feels like some of those characters really can't catch a break and it can feel oppressing. I think it's a very case by case situation, everyone's opinion is valid.
I feel you. I haven't finished it but even with how much it has made me sob, I find love and how life finds a way to put itself back together again despite all the terrible things that someone goes through. I am glad you enjoy it and hope you're doing great.
Oh I absolutely adored this book! I didn't cry until one line then I was just SOBBING uncontrollably until I finished it. The writing is incredible and I really want to re-read it!
I think the song of achilles touched me so much is specifically because I'm queer. Many people say it didn't make them cry because they already know how it'll end which is completely valid but it felt different reading it where they're portrayed as lovers. It was amazing to see how beautiful and powerful queer love is.
Oh my, as a Swede it makes me so happy to see that you read “A man called Ove” and thus quite possibly cause more people to notice Backman’s works. Fredrik Backman is one of my absolute favourite authors and his book “Beartown” is definitely one of my top 3 books of all time! I’d definitely recommend you to read it since you liked his writing style and such in “A man called Ove”, and I agree with everything I saw someone else said about it in the comments. Would also highly recommend you to see the Swedish movie adaptation of “A man called Ove”. It was Sweden’s Oscar’s nominee the year it came out and is one of the best book-to-movie adaptations that exist in my opinion! I think you’d really enjoy it!
I love the movie even though it makes me cry every time we watch it. It's one of my boyfriends favorite movies so we watch it quite often. He just loves this kind of sad stories
I went into "A Man Called Ove" blind and I wound up absolutely loving it, too! Netflix just did an adaptation of "Anxious People," fyi - I didn't read or watch it yet but it's on my list. :)
@@Littoface I watched Anxious people the day it was released 😆 Note that I haven’t read the book (most people I know that have read it has said that it was a bit of a disappointment) but I found it to be quite enjoyable. Really weird and strange at parts but imo it’s definitely worth a watch!
Min mamma har boken, men jag kan inte läsa det, eftersom den är på svenska och min svenska är inte bra, lol (obviously) Men jag måste köpa "en man som heter ove" på tyska om den är så bra!
I’ve read 3 of the books: Ove, Little Life, and They Both Die And I completely agree with your assessments of all three, except I didn’t cry at the Little Life. I think I was just too exhausted by all the tragedies he goes through, I eventually became desensitized to it. It was too much. Like if a horror movie had one jump scene after another, eventually you just wouldn’t jump anymore.
@@AClockworkReader I think it was Emily Fox who described it so accurately: it’s torture porn! Just unnecessary torture porn. I totally agree with your one star rating. Thanks for the awesome vid! I’m now thinking of trying Achilles, but (gasp) I DNF’ed Circe, so I’m reluctant to. 🤔
Little life was so unrelenting that it became impossible for me to suspend disbelief. Yes all those things happen but not all to the same person. Half as many traumas would have been much more credible and therefore more emotionally resonant. I teared up during some of the scenes but by the end I was just over it and felt unsatisfied with how obvious the last third was. Also yes about the trigger warnings.and yes about disturbed more than sad and yes trauma for trauma’s sake.
@@ReneeHarveyDuh Totally agree with you. By the end of the book, my statistics teacher was in my head clucking her tongue. After a certain point, it's very improbable that so much happens to a single person. The story stopped being about what we can learn about the character, and more of a guessing game about what she was going to whack him with next. And those very final few pages...like really?
I'm not even done this video (I'm probably gonna finish it tomorrow) and the range of opinions on a little life down here... its so interesting how one book can have such a different impact on people. idk if I'll ever read it but is fascinating.
You really made me think about A Little Life after almost a year of having read it. I see all the negative points now, especially the thing about it being like trauma dump. I can't say if I loved it or not now, I don't think I could have said that I loved back when I just read it, even though I really liked it (can I say that I liked it tho? I fell in love with the characters sure, but did I enjoy it?) I will say this tho: It came to me in a time when I wasn't doing great mental health wise, and Lord did it make it even worse for a good month or so. But afterwards I knew for sure that I had to get myself together and find help. Because the one thing that I got out of that book was that I didn't want to end up like Jude. In a sense of not allowing others to help me, not taking care of me, not seeking professional help. I'd like to think that maybe there was another way for me to end with the same conclussion but this is the way it happened to me unfortunately XD I'm so sorry you read it, honestly; I hope you're doing better now tho. Take good care of yourself!
i love how every book review in this video was 5 minutes long, and then bang! the a little life part takes up 20 minutes. it's just a give away of how deep this book is. i'm so glad you mentioned it being traumatic, having such a big following and being a great influence, bc for a long time i've seen people recommending it to everyone, and honestly, i don't think i'll ever even suggest it to anyone. it is beautifully written, most of the characters are just so loveable, but they come with too much baggage that i don't think just anyone would be able to handle.
for some reason a little life affected me in a way i dont think it did to other people - i only truly felt the happy moments in the darkness of every characters lives. i read it while i was actually in a bad place and it sort of helped me because i felt seen and i felt understood. it said things that ive said to myself and it gave me hope. its really interesting and understandable how different people read the same piece of work. i am so sorry it hurt you so much! hope you are feeling better now x
I can't express how much I appreciate your discussion on 'a little life' and society's obsession with being voyuers to other's pain. When I was younger I would consume media that I knew would disturb me. But now, years later, I realize it is simply not okay to hurt myself like that and I know I have to protect my mental health. I think it's so incredibly important for people to talk about this!! much love 🤍🤍🤍
Fredrick Backman is the best! I’ve been reading all his books tho year, ever since I read a man called Ove in January. I really loved Anxious People💕 Beartown destroyed me tho, it’s way less comedic than his other books and will have you sobbing; totally appropriate for this video. Read TWs
@@Bangtan-kq2js It's about a man called Ove. Kidding, kidding. It's about an bitter, nasty old man named Ove who lost his wife and hasn't been able to find his footing again. After a rash of unsuccessful attempts in his own life, a young family moves in next door and sort of inserts themselves into his life. The book follows this current timeline and also flashes back to various points in Ove's life. It's a bit of a coming-of-age story meets a comedy of errors. And it is delightful. It's equal parts funny and devastating and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it in the years since I read it.
Tbh I was actually planning on reading a little life because of how much people talk about it and praise it but after hearing your thoughts and seeing how deeply it affected you I think I’m going to pass it, as someone who went through some of the things the characters went through I don’t think I wasn’t relive that experience again so thank you for this video 😭
I’m so glad someone’s being honest about books that are hyped up. I almost feel like some people censor themselves, and they go easy on books they have negative opinions about. I feel alienated from some content creators because they all seem to like the same thing, and then when I read it I don’t. I don’t even think I have a very picky taste when it comes to fiction. Yet, I enjoy a book that I pick up on my own more than what people recommend to me online. I really appreciate the honesty in this video, because it makes me feel like I can finally relate to someone.
Hey, Do you listen to the podcast Books Unbound? In my opinion the hosts are not afraid of saying when they don’t like a book and i feel like they are therefore geniune. Maybe if you haven’t heard of it before you should try it out. 🧡
I love normal people, and I think that what makes it so amazing for me is the fact that is so relatable, they are real human people, with issues, and I love books character driven. The fact that the book centers on their daily life might not be for everyone, but for me it's amazing that so much can be told about an ordinary life like mine, with relations that not always work, with miscommunication problems, like my own relationships and my own flaws. I also love the way she portrayed the struggle of the characters towards social and political issues, I my self am a human right investigator, that's what I do for living and some times I caught myself thinking about deep issues like poverty or war, and the next second I'm worried about the guy I love or my silly little life and that's ok too. I think that's what Sally Rooney does stunning, makes us feel part of the narrative, close with the characters, a couple of normal people living in a crazy not so fair world.
I absolutely agree. I adore Sally Rooney’s books (especially Beautiful world, where are you) but she is a very ‘niche’ author. I think we get such polarising views from people because she has been pushed into the mainstream and so hyped that people end up picking it up to see what the fuss is about and end up disappointed as it isn’t their jam. She is a genius at writing about normal lives and the minutiae that goes with it and just like in normal life, there isn’t always a logical explanation or exciting climax … life just goes on. And I love the detail of that, she really makes me feel something. I also love how you can tell she doesn’t aim to create loveable characters.. just interesting/normal ones. 100% get why others just don’t relate at all though!
@@waynooooo Yesss! I totally agree with you. She doesn't aim to create big crazy climax or heroic, magnificent characters. And that's exactly why I love her, it feels real, but yeah I totally get why some people might find it boring.
honestly when it comes to normal people, i would recommend the show over the novel (and i rarely say that)! I agree with your opinion on the novel, it lacks so many things.
I just fell in love with the fact that Hannah had the genuine power of saying such a genuine review about the little life. I just can't explain but I want to thank you so much that you actually like literal actually gave emphasis on the fact that it was disturbing and disturbing stuff in the book was written too deeply. And your choice of word was excellent without any doubt. Thanks
Since you liked A Man Called Ove I have to recommend Beartown and the sequel because that book is amazing and I love it very very much. It's such a beautiful balance of sad and poingant. There are hard topics addressed so I would definitely read up on content warnings but everything is handled very gently
A Little Life was tragedy porn...it was so "awful" that I was wishing for what happened at the end to happen. In fact I begged for it to happen sooner. Thats a terrible feeling to have. I had the same feeling you had. I thought that this was based on a true story when I first heard about it and got it but then I learned it was all fiction...why?! I wouldnt trust the author around kid or old people
Part of what makes the book hard is that the author's goal was exactly what you were describing. In interviews she says one of her goals of the book was to explore her belief that psychiatry is the only medical field that doesn't honor a person's right to die. She wanted people to agree that Jude should die because he was irrevocably broken and wanted to die, that he was correct to want to die. I disagree with her view and this book was hard but its something to think about.
if you're interested in knowing what happens in "a little life", just read the wikipedia summary. It's already disturbing enough and made me never want to read that book in my life.
I have never heard someone talk about A Little Life in this way, all I've ever heard is that it is just really sad. I'm so glad, and so thankful for your honest review since I was thinking about picking it up. But after watch your video I am 100% sure that I am not in the right headspace to read that book right, I'm not even sure that I'll ever be. Just even watching your reaction ressonated with on so many levels, I hope you are feeling better and thank you again for the honest review
I read A Little Life last year in June, and it's less than a month away from June a whole year later, and i still CANT stop thinking about this book. please always go search up the TW for this book, but i can say NEVER have I had a book stay in my mind for an entire year. it is just so terrible tragic, dark and disturbing that it leaves you shocked for a while.
i didn’t cry on song of achilles until the very last page, like last few sentences. not because it was sad but because it was so moving. i can only hope to one day be reunited with loved ones for eternity.
I personally loved a little life. I definitely agree with your recommendation to read the trigger warnings and I agree it is very graphic (although i thought it was appropriate, since there is people who actually have experienced this and their reality should be allowed to be depicted as everything else deserves it as well). I think it is exceptional in how it shows you the never-ending trauma that accompanies people who go through these things in their lives and perhaps the graphicness of it is important for the reader to grasp the trauma. Of course, I wouldn't recommend ANYone to read this "trauma study" - being in a good place mentally is definitely a precondition to reading this. Nevertheless, also enables readers who have experienced ANY kind of trauma (not of that degree and from the same themes, because then you probably should not be reading this) to see the perspective of the unconditionally loving friend. The book was certainly hard to read and I put it away for a few days in between, but something about it also taught me about empathy, love and connection and it will always be one of my favourite books.
I think people do the book a disservice by saying "It will ruin you" because that gives people really high expectations that it might not meet, particularly if you know it's going to be sad going in. I didn't cry when I read it, but I think I would have enjoyed the book less if I had been told beforehand that the ending would make me sob (because it didn't).
about A Little Life, that's why i never recommend it to anyone and if someone talks about reading it in front of me, i always tell them to read the tw, because it can be traumatizing indeed. I get how you feel about the writing and details, i understand, but i also understand why it's written the way it is. For me, the author wrote this that way so it shocks us at our core, precisely bc the events that Jude lived were the representation of how events can scar and hurt people. I think that's
also the goal of the book as a whole: to represent trauma in various ways and show how much damage it can have on the entire life of the person, how it impacts the way they live and think and feel. I get what you're saying about all the details, and it probably wasn't necessary to go as deep indeed, but i also think that it's one of the things that make the writing so great, beyond the trauma depiction. Once again, this book is definitely not for everyone, please check the tw before reading it and only do so if you're mentally okay because it focuses on really hard topics (+ it's very graphic) so take care of yourself!
I personally loved "A little life", although I understand what you're saying about the graphic nature the book. However, I think that it was important (if not crucial) for it to be that graphic. If it was sugar coated or if the writer tip-toed around the sensitive topics it would have completely missed the mark in terms of the message I think she was trying to convey, which is that life is not always pretty, it's not always rainbows and sunshine.
I don't think it's realistic enough, Jude was too well-adjusted, had a successful career, friends who loved him.. People with trauma don't get to have this stuff due to our lack of trust in people/relationships.
You convinced me to never pick up *A Little Life*. I was curious about what happened in the story that was upsetting and ended up reading a full synopsis and there is no way I could handle reading something like that 😥
I so appreciate the level of honesty in this video, especially on A Little Life. I’ve heard “it’s sad” and “check the trigger warnings” about this book before, but that can’t convey the gravity of it like this video did.
Especially your take on A Little Life was very interesting to me. As someone who experienced multiple traumatic situations, relationships and events, I always felt so so different and lonely - and through that book, I finally saw portrayed the kind of heaviness a person with (c)PTSD can carry through their whole life. It hurts a little, to hear you say "why would somebody write this" instead of "it is so horrible what people have to go through in life and we still close our eyes because we can't stand how disturbing the truth would be". Domestic / sexual violence is heavily underestimated as to how often it happens and I definitely did not feel A Little Life was exaggerating anything, it was a lot more shallow than it could have been and I was impressed how well the trauma was described. If anything, the reaction of many people to this book was very telling of how much we want to ignore or close our eyes to things that would disturb our little world. I one hundred percent agree that not everybody should read this book, it is disturbing, it is so sad and shocking, but it is a good book (imo).
this is exactly what i was really curious about. i can't say i can relate to jude 100%, i did think that there were some parts/characters (ie Dr. Traylor and Caleb) that were too much and not really necessary to the story, but there was this one part that really made me feel seen, it was one of the darkest and hardest parts of the book but oddly enough, it made me feel comforted. which made me think that if i felt like that, then does that mean people who had gone through abuse, who self-harmed, who have PTSD, do they also feel accurately represented and seen in this book? I always wondered which part of the book, especially Jude's thought process, were accurate of those who had suffered abuse and which of it is plainly the author manipulating the reader? i'm glad i saw this comment. thank you for sharing.
I'm glad that you got something from this book, but unfortunately, the author has come out and said she purposely wrote it to be as shocking and disturbing as possible, she genuinely did mean it to be 'trauma porn'
@@theayesha147 Thank you for your thoughts!! I just found out the authors intentions were not that well. I still really connect to your opinion! You are not "weird" for connecting to the characters and on the other hand I think a lot of people with Jude's experiences did not like the book! Everybody is different. A book that did better than A little life is "In the dream house", where the author reports on her own experiences. As a survivor, that book spoke to me on another level. The author is also a survivor, so it's a lot more respectful to us and isn't so called trauma porn!💖
Getting flashbacks to the time I took a course on trauma in books and A Little Life was one of the books we were supposed to read. I don't think I even got that far in, just a few chapters at most, then skimmed over parts of it, eventually just dropped it and the course. And from your reaction, I feel like that was a very good decision.