It makes my heart rejoice to see there’s still some good Christians out there that truly love God! Let’s keep fighting the good fight my fellow Christians!
Yuck. It's a horrible feeling. I was with a non believer when it happened to me, ruined my life for a year and a half. Was so happy I broke free of it. I'll never do it again, I have been strengthened and renewed by Christ.
How is shaming yourself "strengthening"? It's extremely easy to disconnect with your past self to avoid feeling uncomfortable, but it means essentially running away from yourself and your feelings, which weakens and limits you.
@@MrMrjack18 that’s true actually, and obviously I can’t speak for all of us believers, but I suspect vast majority of us don’t believe that having a relationship is sinful. On the contrary, many kinds of relationships are blessed and even ordained by God, including our relationship with God through Jesus. So, I’m sincerely curious as to why it is you think that believers would believe relationships are a sin?
I'm extremely touched by the balance here. Though Dr. Piper did bring conviction, he also balanced it with recognition of real repentance and with mercy. Truly an awesome balance of grace and truth
Thank you so much for this Pastor John for this I really needed to hear this! I was struggling with guilt and condemnation from a similar situation this bring light to everything I was and am going through...
Pastor John, I am in same condition,😖 We feel the same and have been praying that God forgive us, and help us become better at serving the Lord in everything we do! We are really sad and sorry for what we've done:( Prayed with tears, Heart broken for the sin that we committed.. My girlfriend and I loves each other so much but we are not ready for a baby and any of it... But we are ready to serve the Lord in everything we do.. Lord forgive us😖 Thanks for the hope
I think differently about it: In Genesis 3:24-25 it says that a man and his wife will become one. In 25 it says they were both naked and weren'd ashamed. Because you are naked when having sex together I think then you become one. If you are one that does mean you are married and thus unashamed of having sex together. If you weren'd married you might feel ashamed afterwards. So the shame indicates if you are married. But shame can also mean that you think you sinned. The thing with the emeny is that he want to feel ashamed whether we actually did or not. 1. if you ask god for forgiveness he will grant you mercy. 2. I think that like the baptism (which shows the world that you are indeed a child of god and a follower of Jesus) comes *after* you have acepted Jesus as your savior (and that he died on the cross for our sins and then rose from the dead on the 3rd day) also the wedding can come after you are already married. Let me explain: With the wedding and the marriage you show the world that you belong together and are one. You actually become one flesh in front of god by having sex and therefore are already married by his standards. This quote right here suggests that you'd become one with (=married to) a prostitute if you have sex with her. www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20Corinthians+6:15-17&version=ESV From this perspective I think the best thing you can do is make the marriage public by "marrying" :) You are both christians and love each other so I see no problem. Bless you.
Keep it in your pants! One of the biggest mistakes I ever made was not waiting for marriage. My way is now harder because of my own disobedience. KEEP YOURSELF CHASE!
@@samcummings261 worse decision I ever made. Leave the porn alone too. Women are made in the image of God they are not to be treated as objects for our sexual pleasure. God will hold us accountable!
@In Hoc Signo Diliget Well if god has a problem with it, he'll tell you right? Because he's good. Sinds he hasn't told me if I did anything wrong or not, I'll continue to have a good time. And I see no reason te follow the words of primitive, ignorant goathearders about what I do in the bedroom.
I'm reading people on here saying that sex ruined them for years. They are full of shame and regret. If you have repented, you should not be suffering for years with regret or looking at yourself as damaged goods. Comdemnation comes from the the accuser of the church the devil.
Pastor John is right in his sayings, it's a kind of encouragement for those who want to flea from such evil that destroys the spirituality of a Christian before marriage. I would be so grateful to pastor John for this incredible message and he has the devine knowledge of God in spirit. The words he speaks to the very young man not only for him, but also me. Because I'm in the same situation. What I have done is I knew, but this message gave me a way to avoid such type of wicked activities which impurifies my spirituality. Now I know for sure, Jesus always forgives me though I'm so trouble shot for him. May God bless this servent of God. Amen.
That first part where he said things could never heal made me instantly cry. I fell down a rabbit hole at 12 and idk I just wanna get better. More than anything I want to get better.
@@chaneydupreez2239 yeah Ive turned from it and I follow christ but I'm just so afraid of never being able to to have a healthy marriage someday or bond properly.
I can feel you a lot! But nothing is beyond Gods healing! He can restore and redeem you! Of course it doesn't mean that we can do everything we want because God will heal us afterwards BUT if we have failed and regret it he will heal us for sure!!! Don't believe the lie that Jesus forgiveness and healing isn't enough for you. Don' condemnation yourself. Have faith. You are loved❤️
I'm dealing with this right now. I'm living with my (first) boyfriend of 2 years, and while i've always believed in Christ, i've only recently gotten closer to the Lord and have been feeling a lot of guilt over this. I don't have any other place to live, and i've tried to abstain from having sex but it puts strain on our relationship. I've asked him to marry me, but he wants to wait for a big wedding ceremony while I just want to make it legal and get the license. It's just hard to be in this constant state of sin and not feel ashamed all the time, especially during intimate moments.
I know how difficult it is to deal with all this. Honestly it sounds like you should confront him with the way your feeling. He has certain obligations as a dude. He might want a great wedding tomorrow but you might need a simple one today. Me and my girl have struggled with this too. I think we're just gonna go get it done. I'll definitely pray for you guys tho. Take care
All I can say is you are going to want more than anything after marriage to have a man of God who leads you spiritually and puts God before you. It will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but you need to leave him and pray for him to get saved or to repent and be surrendered to the Lord. And if he doesn’t move on. Speaking from 15 years of marriage of experience from your same situation.
And getting married now at the courthouse is not the best idea because it will not push him to repent. And believe me you are going to want a husband who will repent of his sins.
I agree it is hard, and it does put a strain on a relationship when two people are attracted to each other. Self gets in the way, we tend to think we have to please others to be happy, Even when its wrong. How bad do you want this to stop? What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of righteousness, make it happen, believe me you will succeed and God will make away for you, with or without this guy. God loves you to much to see you miserable. God bless you.
Carisa M Amen! That’s right on! You want a spouse who KNOWS they are a sinner and whom to turn to for forgiveness and to be cleansed. Someone who protests on the issue of their sin, is someone to run from.
My bf and I are born again Christians. After dating for a little while we had sex. Despite asking God for forgiveness we realized we were getting on each others nerves constantly. We both felt insecure about each other. We broke up for a little while. After much praying, we got back together. We both apologized to each other for falling into sin. We decided to abstain from having sex until we get married. We want to do things right. We can never go back to how we were before having sex but God knows of our repentance and that's what most important. Sin makes you hide from God (just like Adam and Eve did) but remember that that is exactly what the devil wants you to do. Don't let him win. Remember God's sacrifice for your sins. Pray as much as you can. After asking for forgiveness make sure you don't go back to sexual sin again.
Unfortunately, you can't have do overs in life. But that is no reason to be alienated from the opportunity for one to restore their chastity. The saying goes, once you do something, it is easier to do it again. The big problem is that most young adults continue in the same behavior pattern. Repentance means not only the cessation of immoral behavior, but a complete turn around and making a greater effort to pursue purity. Honestly, every intimate experience you have with someone else, no matter how far you go, or exercise restraint...you are just adding to the pile of the heap of mess that you will bring into the marriage. So do your future spouse a favor. Keep the baggage at a minimum and you will have a greater chance to have a dynamic marriage relationship. There are no guarantees, but I promise those with less baggage will have better outcomes.
@Odd Fish see that's how disconnected American Christianity is from the source. The Orthodox Church is the real deal but you omit its existence from your response with the same old Catholic vs Protestant, don't worship Mother Mary blahdidy blah. Christ is MUCH bigger than your narrow western minded viewpoint. Think of the ACTUAL church of Asia minor, the monastics in Greece, Bulgaria Ethiopia and Russia. Do you think that perhaps you might be MISSING something? It's not so black and white. Christianity wasn't even European for the first 300 plus years!Christ's message came to the Americas soiled by colonialism. An Orthodox or a Catholic priest can be consulted as a spiritual authority that can prescribe something specific to these two people by meeting them face to face. RU-vid and the comments section and a "one size fits all response" is exactly the kind of simpleton consumerist Americana version of Christianity that gives itself such a bad name. God is so much more MYSTICAL than your one size fits all prescription.
I slept with a girlfriend before I was saved and we got legally married for the wrong reasons and God actually separated us because we weren't right for each other. Simpleton Protestants seem to think that they can just grab a bible and start preaching and telling people what to do. It doesn't work like that! That's how false prophets are made. It's foolishness! Where is your actual authority? Where can you cite it? The Church is a body with rules, rites and sacraments. It was agreed upon in the formation of the Church directly descended from the 12 disciples. You can't just rewrite the rules 1000+ years later and sail to a different rock and call it something it's not. I'm convinced this is why America was doomed from the start.
Just a question.. So If Once You’ve Done It obviously it wont be undone,, how does the Forgiveness part applies? Idk if I worded my thoughts right but could someone enlighten me thanks, Wouldn’t it be just physically impossible
Let me add that not having sex does not make you pure if your heart is full of bitterness or envy. A repentant porn-star is purer than an angry, bitter, jealous virgin pew warmer.
The only thing missing from his advice, he should have told them in my opinion, to seek to get married as soon as possible, don't wait, do what you must do to get married because then this can never happen again.
Gino Vincenzini Marriage does not fix sexual immorality. Infact they should deal with it before they get married. Otherwise, they will be setting themselves up to some major marital challenges in the future.
I will be copying this from a message above from Lola Bear ( thank you Lola Bear :D ) - The bible says: 1 Corinthians 7:36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. And again in Exodus 22:16: And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. Am I missing something? I just wanna hear what's the right way with dealing with this sort of situation
I agree. Part of the problem is that people are waiting too long to get married. They have years long engagements, and its ridiculous. Don’t preheat the oven if you aren’t going to cook anything!
I have sinned before God. Led an immoral life of sexual immorality and met my current partner during this time I was so lost, we did not wait until marriage and now we have a child which is a blessing but just now I am coming into the realization the sins we are committing even though we are committed to each other we are sinning before God. I am asking him to pray with me so we can be renewed in marriage and not wait any longer I also said I wanted to abstain. I don’t know if he is on the same page as I am and wanting to see other women to “settle the score” for my past immortality. I am praying for wisdom on what to do and the right choice for me and our daughter. It’s so hard.
If they are adults, maybe they could consider just getting married if they love each other. Just go do a simple ceremony. Plus, they should think about protection. It's better to use some protection if your not ready for a child.
Yeah. I mean, it’s difficult. I bet it would feel terrible for falling into temptation. There are consequences for sinning.... lack of trust etc like John Piper said. BUT! Psalm 51: 10-12 “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit”....I believe once you experience God’s grace, you will be more aware of it and thankful for it. YOU’ll SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE!
I have been living a holy life and sexual purity in Christ, but i got a job at a christian home, because i cook for a living, when i got this job i thanked God a lots because i thought that it would make me to serve God the more, but boss has been a huge temptations to me i avoid him for so many months seducing and forcing me always and yet pretends to be a man of he preaches all the time yet forces me to sleep with him😭 this month i fall for it, ever since then i hate myself even though i have asked God for forgiveness yet i feel miserable 😢 but i want to confess to his wife maybe this is the only way to have my peace again, please all my brothers and sisters in Christ pray for me i feel like God won't forgive me again cause i know the scripture 😢
Whilst I agree with the points Pastor John gave, one important point should be to encourage the couple to speak with their Pastor. Their own church Pastor is in a unique position to put in place any church discipline appropriate for the couple, including safeguards and accountability.
One thing is that sometimes some christians wanna wait years to get married. Like one of my sisters friend. They been dating 3 years because of "college" and she wants to sleep with him but he wants to keep wating... i wouldn't be able to wait years!!!! I would have to be honest i cant wait that long. I allrady been waiting 2 years and then wait another 2? Or 1?
Pastor John; Why was it ok for Solomon to have 700 wives and 300 non wife concubines (sexual playmates) ? He felt no guilt or shame. No prophets came to castigate him. Nor were any sent to him. Must've been ok but now everything a Christian does is sin or borderline sin. Orgys ok for Solomon but evil for the rest of us. Something ain't right here. I await whatever fancy answer you come up with.
Congrats! She has now become your new life long wife! And anyone who believes differently are seriously not discerned, been brain washed, and has destroyed more “pre-ordained” marriages than saved them… The biblical standard for entering into marriage is much higher than the average theologically sound pastor thinks or knows. If anyone disputes this truth, just point to the passage of Duet 22:28 & 29. And if they still dispute, let them know that the New Testament DOES NOT bring a new law or commandment about that truth. Simple as that. Oh and if any of you have trouble about what the Bible says about this, just know I have done YEARS of biblical study of this topic and it is now crystal clear to me.
Hello, thank you for the comment. Can you give me some bible verses of why she has become his new life long wife. And what if they later on discover in their dating life that they actually are not fit for each other. Do they still need to stay together, even against their own will?
I could not disagree with pastor John Moore and I agree with him almost alway. Go to the Justice of the peace get married without telling anyone you can still have your day. You're forgiven in Christ for what you did together unmarried and now forever more you'll be blessed.
I’m waiting on my divorce Because my wife has been through three men since she’s left me because I showed weakness and don’t know what it was but she keeps sleeping with other men while we’re going through this divorce in fact that’s why we got divorced for months into our marriage she slept with her ex-husband’s cousin and had a kid and it’s been 10 years now and now it’s finally coming to a head I don’t want to get a divorce but she wants one I feel like it’s because I’m not man enough to have anyone so yes in my case it is being inferior is why I’m single
I empathize with you. To make sure your relationship with God stands on the foundation that it should, I recommend you lookup this message on RU-vid: _"Born Again Through Repentance And Faith"_ by Zac Poonen. You can start listening to the full message at 23:38. It is essential that you prioritize your relationship with God as that's the only way to be receiving his guidance concerning anything you are facing. You cannot navigate through things with your feelings, but with the clarity you get from walking with God. People's thoughts about you or even your own thoughts may mislead you, but you can become the man Jesus will make of you and your mind will be renewed according to God's will. All things are possible *with God.* And God's thoughts are most definitely not yours (Isaiah 55:8). So, be on the way to find out God's thoughts about you and your future. That's my encouragement that I leave you with. Peace to you!
I keep trying to remain pure and I keep messing up and feeling instant regret. Sometimes i wonder if i should be in this relationship with my boyfriend. I dont want anything to come in between me and God.
I recommend you lookup this message on RU-vid: _"Born Again Through Repentance And Faith"_ by Zac Poonen. You can start listening at 23:38. The message goes over the foundation you need to lay for nothing to come between you and God. It's the way to receive his precise guidance for your life as well. Peace to you!
Break up, there is no other way. It is what I had to do so that my ex girlfriend. Anyone that is causing you to sin, get away from them and focus on Jesus Christ. Do not put anyone above Jesus Christ
@ David Chinna Thank you SOOOOOO MUCH !!! Of course it is not a sin as long as you get married , since marriage sanctifies sex in God's eyes. Very simple. But what David did was not the same at all ! It can not be compared .
I disagree with Pastor John here. Once you ask for forgiveness from God, then you automatically have it. You don't have to "feel bad" for months after your sin. God does NOT and NEVER WILL condemn us if we turn our heart to Him. Only Satan, the accuser of brothers (the children of God), will continue to harass us on our past sins. Remember that our sins are separated from us as far as the east is from the west. We are freed from sin! There is no condemnation! We are justified in God's eyes through the Lord Jesus and what He did for us. Stop feeling bad and start living forward with a new heart and new mind!
All things are good until they are perceived not to be. Their is only two emotions love or fear if you live in fear your not living in love there is no shame in love only in fear. Live all the days of your life continuing to love whoever you are with with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding trust in God and ge will make all things new.
Your first sentence starts with a false truth claim. Whether you think rape is wrong or not (the perceptions), it is already factually wrong: declared so by God.
I think their repentance in faith is what God wants most from them. A healthy marriage is always more than just a plus in God’s eyes. However, the only thing that bears an effect on their sins is Christ’s atonement. Adding anything other than Jesus to the condition of God’s forgiveness would make His atonement insufficient, which it most certainly is not.
"I Slept with My Girlfriend -- Now What?" Well kind Sir, IF you didn't sleep with her; and you desired it; the sin will be the same. Proof...Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust; after her hath committed adultery with her; is already in his heart. And IF that applies to lust, it applies to every sin. Now even worse: When we come out of our mother's womb; there is a "burning desire" to sin (from our DNA's and genes) until death. And we mostly commit it. Sad, but oh so True. And then God does this...Leviticus 26:28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I will punish you, seven times for your sins. (10 X 7 if flaunted!) And in... ...Exodus 34:7 Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving, abominable's, transgressions and sins, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the abominations of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. This means; there is not a single person "PURE"; on this earth since Creation. Because, we sin ALL the time. And God (whose name is Jesus) KNOWS it. And punishes us, like above. And why our lives are often like hell. Sad, but true. However, ANY "Born Again" (by believing IN Jesus) will have ALL our sins "forgiven" on "Judgment Day". THEN are we "Pure"! Hallelujah! Now in.... ...Mark 3:28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men (mankind), even blasphemies howsoever, they shall blaspheme (except for one): Mark 3:29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Spirit has never forgiveness, and is in danger of hell. (THE only "UN-forgiven" Sin and it means: NOT believing IN Jesus, before one's death.) End of story and I rest me case... ...in any case kind Sir, Please Pray OFTEN and Praise Jesus OFTEN; for He is the ONLY true "God Almighty"; there will ever have been. And may Jesus bless you and yours always. AMEN!
Why don't the middle east couple just get married. If they haven't slept with anyone else, (just each other), just commit to each other and stay faithful to one another before they sleep with someone else because they think they've sinned, so what does it matter.
We don't have these types of relationships in christ. They are of the world and we are not of the world anymore. John 17 v16. We meet a potential partner and have friendship then marry asap as anything else is fornication a sin. God loves you, so love him back with fear and respect, proverbs 9 v10 and his first and second commandment Matthew 22 v34-40.
"Asap" marriages are at a higher risk of divorce. Spend enough time alone with your partner and be sure that you both are compatible. I think at least 3 or 4 years is wise.
Okay why doesn't anybody address the topic of how long a couple should be separated for chastity after fornication? Is it a week a month 6 months 1 year?
Because Christ Jesus completed all of those requirements, and in Him, we are counted as righteous. So, the couple is free to immediately begin the difficult process of forgiving each other and moving forward and doing it all to the glory of God in Christ Jesus.
The good news to you is that all that you have been in a false church because you could be knowing all this. If you have been in the true church of God those scriptures would have applied, and also this; 1Corint.5:11-13.
If u sleep with your girlfriend then u have consummated your marriage before you get married. The cart is before the horse. That is the covenant that is made between a husband and wife. In this a blood covenant is made between the two. Jesus also made a blood covenant with his bride.
I wish I could find someone that would save themselves for me . That’s a unicorn here in the states. That doesn’t exist . . I’ll never find that Evan if I dedicated myself to the Lord
You will! I’m saving myself for my husband. Been dating for half a year and want to get married soon. There is hope out there, trust in God and press on. Blessings 💕
@@natalyaakselaleksander4502 thank you for your words of encouragement. I’m 40 and I’ve done so much wrong before. I feel like it’s a punishment. Tell your soon to be that I said he is an extremely lucky man to find a pure and virtuous woman like yourself. MAY GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE FOR STARTING THE RIGHT WAY
@@southernberean8166 Thank you so much for such kind words. May God bless you! But, no, it is not a punishment. We've all done so much wrong that if God was going to punish us or give us according to how we've behaved, we would get nothing but eternal condemnation. I know it is easier said than done to wait patiently and trust in God. But be assured, I will be praying for you that God blesses you with the right woman at the right time (His time). Be blessed and stay cool.
fornication is the only sin one comits to his own body. (Bible) having a gf or a bf is a sin so u r telling me who has a gf didn't sleep with her or didn't live with her?
jesus said that we are to our neighbor as ourselves not one of us have kept that but that does not make it ok, good, or fine it is still sin. a majority vote or offense does not change the law of god -peace be with you i will pray for you
