I Somehow Got a World Record Speedrun 

ATTENTION NEW VIEWERS OF THIS VIDEO: as of May 6th, 2021; me record was beaten :( i knew it was only a matter of time but i'm gonna try to get it back!

The idea of your girlfriend hearing you rage at a 90s N64 golf game for hours a day is just hysterical to me.

Sorry Kurtis, you may think your Habbo hotel gf story is embarrassing but my moviestarplanet boyfriend either genuinely died during surgery or faked his death to escape me. either way it was my first introduction to grief at age 10 :)

the guy that originally had the record went back and reclaimed it 💀💀 thats the funniest shit ive ever seen. poor kurt tho

Why is no one talking about how absurd it is that he finally beat the record by ONE SECOND on his LAST ATTEMPT ever. And even funnier that he didn't even realise straight away

Okay but unironically, this man pulled off an impressive speedrun. Like the game doesn't even matter, people speed run so many obscure games, but the fact he was literally doing runs to shave off mere seconds, and discovering techniques to do so, is insanely dedicated and this isn't some copout half-assed record, the mad man ACTUALLY did it

Every single day Kurtis comes closer and closer to becoming a 70s dad. The mullet, the mustache, and now golf.

Normal Speedrunners: The #01 Time is stuck in my head until I beat it Kurtis: I forgor 💀

the actual disrespect of the people that hopped on there to move kurt from #1 to #5. it's the law to be nice to kurt and they BROKE IT

This video is secretly just Kurtis giving us a tutorial on how to be a good father via anecdotal evidence.

"I've never been so angry in my entire life." Kurtis' anger: "Ah dang it."

Kurtis has currently been bumped down to 5th best speedrun in that specific category, a full minute and 27 seconds behind the current #1 spot. RIP.

“*like* thirty one minutes” don’t lie kurtis. you know the exact time. you were proud of it and memorized it.

If ANYBODY takes this poor man’s 1st place - I’m hunting you down.

Kurtis getting the world record on the last day, and thinking he didn't get the world record is like something STRAIGHT out of a movie.

the fact that brocis420 got his record back is kind of beautiful

Updated top 5 leaderboard as of April 21, 2023 1st place: 10m 15s - brocis420 2nd place: 10m 39s - FxTourmaline41 3rd place: 11m 03s - rusto 4th place: 11m 27s - FunkyABBA 5th place: 11m 42s - kurtisconner

Ah yes, Kurtis Conner and his childhood best friend Connor Kurtis.

kurtis: "I've never been this angry" kurtis: *yelling in lowercase*

You know, I've been wondering why I vibed more with Kurtis specifically over people like Danny and Drew and now it all makes sense: Sega Genesis and Divorce

I think this video has become my comfort video or something because I keep coming back to it and enjoy it just as much every time. Idk what it is but I always end up watching it whenever I go on a mini Kurtis binge and this video does it for me every time.

kurtis: nobody beat my record all 11 people in the world who own this game: just try and stop me

danny and kurtis uploaded at the same time, this is a hate crime against the indecisive population of both kurtistown and greg

Kurtis, you're now 4th in the leaderboard, blow off that cartridge and get back on top brother

I know what the title said and I know you were foreshadowing the win that whole time, but I was still holding my breath dude. Maybe it was the music and the flashback clips but we were all cheering for you. Amazing video my guy.

guys kurtis invented speedrunning what a legend

Kurtis: I have never been this angry in my life. Him being Angry: :| :(

If someone would have told me that they had a record of beating the water temple in 31 minutes I would have been so amazed 💀 it took me like a week to get through

BRUH BROCIS CAME BACK WITH A 10:15 AND IS STILL AT THE TOP, WHAT A LEGEND

the chainsmokers “hey” joke will go down in history as why the heck did I laugh at that

kurtis: “ladies what’s the worst golf game?” it’s just, actual golf, i felt like that was obvious

At least some guy can watch a 36min video essay about how he lost his world record

The Smant and Kurtis crossover was a very welcome surprise that made me happy

Can’t stop thinking about that tweet “men love having hobbies that make them mad” lol

As i grew up i noticed how every girl around me knew what the worst golf videogame was, but i didn't. My mom was also confused, she said "how could you possibly not know what the worst golf game is?". A year ago i realised i am a trans man. Thanks worst golf game ever, you helped me realise so many things.

This feels like a dream: Kurtis Conner speedrunning a game as a joke, and getting tips from SmallAnt, two people I love coming together!

30:02 this was the most stressful and nerve-racking video of all time the way I held my breath--

Alternative title: Kurtis having a mental breakdown over antique golfing for 30 minutes

If Kurtis married his friend Connor his husband would be "Connor Conner"

1 year later: They guy who originally held the record has reclaimed the record with a 10 minute and 15 second run. Kurtis Conner is currently sitting at #5. Kurtis went on to speed run Canada, which is really really hard.

I love that as of 5 months ago the guy who originally held the record before this vid has regained the world record. Absolutely majestic.

no one has beaten his record but one other person named “Kurtis Conner sucks” is 3rd now

Kurtis’s childhood friend being called Conner really makes him seem made up and I do want to believe him but I just dont

Almost a year ago to the day.....Kurtis is now #5. Never forget. 😢

men i was just smiling at the screen like an idiot when he was talking about the last run i just laughed when he did it, HE DID IT after all the effort he put on this, I felt so proud, it was really inspirational watching the whole journey, sharing the emotions with him in every progress, fail, and finally win, thank you so much kurtis this really gives me hope on life, just in the last chance you gave to yourself you did it, when you absolutely didn't give a fuck anymore so I am going to do since now, I'm going to spend the time I have to reach my goal, even if I feel like it isn't worth it anymore, I love your videos and how dedicated you are, so thanks, have a nice day ❤

The worst golf video game known to women? Yeah, that’s Victoria’s Secret

Y’all better not try to beat this record after all he went through

Just looked it up. The old guy is back at number 1 with 10:15. Kurtis is in spot no.4 😭✋

The passive aggression toward his dad really killed me

i can't believe kurtis said the word "runs" this many times without making a single diarrhea joke

“but i didn’t want to throw in the towel. i wanted to throw a wiener off a building.” truly inspiring

The fact that he's 5th now is absolutely heart breaking

I knew he had to be a child of divorce, ain't no one with stable parents this funny

Seeing Kurtis express his frustration by saying “cmon man” is so funny to me

Kurtis needs to reclaim his world record!

i come back to this video a lot, i love it so much. I wanted to share that when i play rhythm games, i'll try to hide or avoid looking at my combo - without knowing if ive missed a button my performance improves so much 😭 the convincing yourself the wrong time is such a relatable strat and this video is so genuine & authentic, kurtis if you ever see this, i think it's one your of bests

i can't believe you tricked me into watching a video about golf

“My friend, Conner” Me: Lemme guess, his last name was Kurtis?

Lmao the list on the record now is growing. Even dude took his spot back and also some thirsty person name was "KurtisConnorIsTrash" but is in dead last 😂😂 Go take it back Kurtis!

Even though your way down there now, I still love the progression of this video and the whole journey it seems like a really good look at what it's actually like to be a speedrunner. Good work.

SmallAnt is 1000% the type of dude to talk to Kurtis and then secretly go and break his record without telling him

Kurtis is kinda looking like an 80's step dad. Bad news he shaved it :(

My blood was pumpin this whole video? So sick man. Proud of you! The reaction was the best part!! Make more content like this if possible hahaha. That’s so cool..

Dude I got CHILLS the moment you said ocarina of time and the opening theme started. I’m like about to cry. It was such a good time man

"I turned out just fine" *thinks about life* "i-i didnt say good..."

You: everybody loves gamin’ Me, an intellectual: everybody loves gay men

amazingly entertaining and engaging story. thank you for this! and I just wanna say nothing will ever beat punching in your name on your first ever Zelda save file on ocarina of time. oh the memories with this game.

Kurtis raging is the most Canadian thing ever

Kurtis is the most chill-angry person I have ever seen this man does not get rage

This is the most visibly angry any Canadian has ever been

did *not* expect to be hit with kurtis conner dad lore so early in the video

Thank you for sharing your bio- and step- dad stories, very relatable and hilarious 🤣

Thanks for the shoutout!

The look on Kurtis' face when he gets the staircase glitch added ten years to my life Edit: this is super stupid, but thanks for the likes! This is my most liked comment ever, I'm super grateful!

I'm bad at remembering to like videos - I always want to for people whose videos I really enjoy but U often forget probably because of frankly how integrated into my life watching youtube has gotten, it being such a commonplace thing and whatnot. Idk, also to be honest I am drunk. But the fact that you had such a mastery of the water temple in ocarina of time immediately got my like with no questions and I just want to say how much I appreciate that as well as your videos in general and hope things are going well for you on the whole. Keep on keeping on dude

i just discovered your channel today, and can't stop laughing. your humor is highly reminiscent of Rm Brown.

kurtis has been suffering for the past 3 weeks and we had no idea

If someone told me their Ocarina of Time water temple record was 31 minutes, it would be marriage on site.

the water temple was always my favourite temple, the stuff about it that people found so annoying was exactly what made it click so well in my brain, its always my favourite part of replaying the game. also morpha was my favourite boss, i loved that fight

My dad LOVED this game on N64 when we were growing up. Whenever he had a long day at the ER he would beg us to play this game with him or he'd kick us off the N64 to play this game with his friend. This is my favorite terrible game to bring out at parties

If your friend wasn’t Conner Kurtis I’ll be upset.

all i could think of during this whole video was the image of jenna minding her own business and then hearing her boyfriend in the other room screaming over a shitty decades-old golfing game lmfao 💀💀

This was super exciting, lol! I’m so happy for you!! 👏🏻👏🏻🔥🔥

I didn’t think i could love Kurtis even more. I was wrong.

“if you ain’t first, youre last. .. especially when there’s only two people.” -Kurtis Conner

Everybody Loves Raymond for Genesis being rated M for Mature is too funny

one of my favourite things is seeing people get into speedrunning for the first time, im late but a banger video, enjoyed!

watching kurtis go over speedrunning this game and making comments that he thinks pertains to just this game but it's actually what every runner thinks of the game they run is great. going through the feelings of actually running, finally getting a better time after not getting close, the oblivious "good runs" that you consistently get but they aren't good enough to be WR, the initial surprise that someone has such a low time compared to your first couple runs, the appreciation of other runners, and also just feeling like you hate every aspect of a game despite playing it for hours on end everyday. the euphoria of speedrunning is the driving factor. even if you aren't getting WR, competing against yourself and getting better and better, seeing your time go down and down until you get to the point where you aren't beating you time every run. you start needing to go for more risky strats, getting consistent at those strats, and becoming a better player overall for it is such a great feeling.

Kurtis- “everybody love gamon” Me for some reason-in head- “everybody loves gay men”

Kurtis: everybody loves gamin’! Me, a homosexual: everybody loves gay men 👁👄👁

I did not expect to see SmallAnt in this video! The collab we’ve always needed

went over to check what the record was for castle of illusion (my childhood fave sega genesis game) and its 17 minutes. I couldn't even get past level 3.

Omg dude, I'm literally so impressed you 1. Didn't cry and 2. Didn't give up. I would've 1. Cried and 2. Given up out of fear to waste time. Literally dude, well done, holy fucking shit.

So you’re telling me Kurtis Conner is not two 6 year olds named Kurtis and Conner in a trench coat?

Brocis came back with a revenge in his heart

Ngl, I got so excited when you brought up small ant, he's one of my favorites 😂

Alternative title: "how to give yourself depression in only 3 weeks"

Kurtis: *not posting for 2 weeks* Me: he’s probably doing something important Kurtis: *playing the worst golf game to be the best in the world at it* Me: WOW I was right this is dope

I’m coming back and it’s good to see you bro! I love your videos and you ✌️

Way to go man! That's awesome! Proud of you :)