I tried so many times to come back to God and failed. | Phillip Blair 

Jesus help those who feel stuck in their sin! Give them the strength to turn away from their sin! In Jesus name amen!

Jesus is the only way to eternal life!

He describe my whole entire situation, I’m tired y’all. Please pray for me fr

I remember it like it was last week (actually was 3 weeks ago lol) for 2 months straight I was in a world without my first love, my home, my God. A devoted man of the faith for a few years and I fell into a life of sinning. It was so miserable. I ran to pleasure because my flesh wanted it but it broke me each and every time. I remember telling God to just kill me, “I can’t stop sinning God just kill me, take me” I couldn’t stop the sin. I would even pray like God I can’t repent bc I don’t want to. It was horrible. I couldn’t sleep , I wasn’t happy , felt like the world was against me, even started to build hate for Christian’s bc I felt like they were better than me. I was so miserable, I would curse my birth , I would ask random strangers what God do they believe in ? Maybe I can serve that God because I sinned against my God. I started to find a new hope in stoicism (didn’t work) , buddhism (didn’t work) even tried to be a Muslim and Everytime they renounced Jesus Christ as son and savior my chest would hurt bad..so that didn’t work. I NEED HELP. I felt my God wanted nothing to do with me anymore. I was so upset with God “I don’t want to go to hell please I need you!” Nights were horrible, I was up til 5 am never could sleep. Hanging out with my worldly friends and I was always thinking of God and would randomly talk about him with them and they didn’t want to hear it. I was so alone without God , Jesus. My high priest I couldn’t talk to bc my mind was full of darkness. I was so hurt. I was running away from my mind and couldn’t get anywhere. Ran to pleasure to fill me up and friends …it didn’t. It never did. I cried to Jesus “please , please I beg you take me back , I won’t leave again I’m miserable I’m suffering please change my heart”. Eventually I came back. I’m 3 weeks almost a month back in the Faith, and guys … I’m so happy , content, stable. I’m so grateful and blessed. I can sleep again , smile again, just be alive again. Jesus I love you. Thankyou for taking me back. To the lost ones in sin; there’s hope in prayer. I literally would sin and then pray right after. I remember the morning after a embarrassing sexual sin .. I prayed. Something in me just couldn’t stop praying. Our Father listened. Jesus I can’t thank him enough. I never want to experience backsliding again, I’m better off dead than to live another second alienated in my mind from Jesus Christ

I just wanted to encourage you, saints: Don’t ever stop trusting in God. No matter how dark your situation is, there is ALWAYS hope!!! ❤️ 🔥

Loving Jesus. Whoever is reading this and going through hard times, pain and delays know that God is with you and His plan is always the best.

There once was a time when I was on fire for God, I used to pray every day and read my bible, but Now I've backslidden I don't pray often and it's been months since I've opened my bible. I want to get back to God but I don't know why but I can't. Please pray for me. I miss God so much. I'm a 17-year-old, Please remember me in your prayers.😢

You made this 3 times ears ago and I needed it tonight. I have cried out just like you were saying. I am a backslider who use to preach that perfect word of our mighty champion. I’ve back slid now for over 5 years and I need prayer. I started lying for no reason, lusting at everything, been fired 3 times haven’t had my kids in church. All the while I know how to put on Jesus like a shiny coat, and I’m good at telling people how to be born again. But as CHRIST has said to others, I’m a white washed tomb, putting on Jesus over my filthy rags. And I’m so tired. Will someone please pray for me and my two little ones . Please

Me too. I’m still struggling and it’s killing me a little bit every day. I’m double minded and hate myself for it. Ugh!!! 😑😑

"A double minded man is unstable in all His ways". LORD JESUS, help me and my dear brothers and Sisters out there..🙏🙏🙏.

I've sinned. I've walked away from God. Please pray for me. I've really failed.

Am I the only one who feels like he was talking about me? Repentance is tough! But I know it's probably one of the greatest gifts God have ever offered. I chose to accept it. As difficult as it may be, I choose Lord Jesus

In my filth, I heard Jesus say ENOUGH! And HE found me in such a wretched broken state. Praise God🙌 HE didn't leave me there, even though I deserved to be. God is Faithful and Loving❤️

Am also in the same situation, double minded and full of anxiety and failing everytime I tried and still struggling and asking God to forgive me and help me come out of the situation.

I needed to hear this because I was once on fire for the Lord and now I’m back to my old sinful ways. Lord please help me😢

Amen bro, I’m tired of being lukewarm. This has helped me immensely. I want Jesus, not a life of sin and not sin in my life. 😔🙏🏼

This is how I felt I’m glad God helped me many times I hated myself n tried to kill myself but God always stoped me this truly touched me thank you Jesus for taking away my pain and thank you for sharing❤️❤️❤️

Same thing is happening with me bro. 😭😭😭😭😭 Please pray for me

I am in a pit now. Bipolar disorder. 54 years old. Extreme depression and anxiety versus manic phases. Asking God why did you make me in the first place? I go through phases of suicidal ideations. Even asking God to take my life. I’m in six figure debt. Unemployment basically.

It happened to me when I strayed into the new age. Repentance is a gift!

Keep believing even when it's hard all things are possible with God praise God praying for everyone everyday God bless you all

I’m going through the same situation right now , fighting my way back to Jesus Christ . Sometimes I feel like he gave up but I know he been testing me. I’ve been feeling bad spirits around me that give me anxiety

I needed this. I’m a backslider, and I’ve been pushing and repenting, but very recently had a breakthrough. Thank you brother.

I'm down in the dumps of trying to let go of my own will and to let Jesus drive the car. Please pray for me. Thank you.

I struggle with this everyday 😩.

God bless you brother Phillip Blair

Please pray for me when I came to Jesus I repented and lived my most faithful years for 4 years then after I been backsliding for 8 years and my life has been an outer failer and mess. Who ever is reading this please pray for me

I recently, for the trillionth time it seems like, ive come back to the feet of God. Ive never ever heard someone share such a similar story. As im writing this Im tearing up, bc I want God more than any sin, but I realize I unconsciously accepted that maybe Im the only one who who feels like this and is dealing with this. But to know that im not, it gives me hope! Ive been lost for a long time, and now i just feel so much more confident and hopeful that Im still able to become a true Christian i again. The Bible proves itself true all the time. This man has to be of God, bc this mean much more to me than anyone could ever know!

I got myself into sin, grew up in church, didn't ready bible ot prsy. It took me to get broken, depresssed. Almost to end my life, and Then thats when I reached out to God. Months later free from porn, masturbation, and depression. He heard my cry and saved me. For the first time I now have a relationship with Him, Ive never felt so free, my life changed. I have joy and peace. I actually am joyful. He is faithful. He is Faithful.

With God everything is possible praise God praying for everyone everyday until my last breath God bless you all

I just need Jesus... Only him.

Wow. I had almost the same issue. I repented in 2008, but turned away from Christ in 2015. I kept trusting God, but against Christ I had strong resistance, and at the same time I wanted Him to come back to the Earth so much, it was a very ambivalent faith. I trusted God, but I saw it was not enough. Without Christ we fall back into our carnal world, being a christian won't work without Christ :) . I had no hope, I couldn't imagine how God could recreate me, I didn't understand why I was unable to be a good christian, I tried 100 times, but I couldn't, and I had worse sins than I had before 2008. It seemed impossible to me to be in the same faith again I was in between 2008-2013. The problem started at the end of 2013 and in 2015 I wanted Jesus to go out from my life, due to the heavy problems I had between 2008-2015 (imprisoned into a flat with noisy neighbours, due to a bank loan contract which was impossible to terminate due to the economic crisis in 2008, with 5-6 hours sleeping through years, hopeless platonics, waiting for a husband from God, stomach ache - at 27 I looked and felt 45). In 2015 I got rid of the bank with God's help and moved to another place, everything seemed to be OK, and there was the option of a good start again, but by that time I was so annoyed and tired that I shouted with God and Christ all the time. The years of imprisonment in the flat were tough, but the toughest thing was to realize in 2015 that I was there alone and without money and I had to start my life again at the age of 33 and this rather increased my depression, instead of being happy about getting rid of those many bad things. In 2016 I went deeper, I met someone and he was absolutely not the right one. From the things he said I started to be in terrible fear, we split up very quickly after 2 months, and I ended up in panic sickness in summer 2016. I never knew what panic sickness is till I had it, it literally means you don't even want to go out anywhere. I didn't want to go down into the shop to buy food. I rather ate 2-3 small sandwiches I had at home. I lost weight and looked like a skeleton, my parents were literally crying about me in those times, I made them so sad. Also I didn't want to go home through 2 months to countryside to my family because I felt ashamed, I didn't want them to see me. I couldn't even look at strong colours or talk to loud-talking people, listening them was too intensive to me and I had pain when listening them. Watching the metro cars or the trams was also a pain, not to mention the noise of cars on the streets, especially the ambulance noise. By that time I didn't read the Bible for long time, I was angry and I didn't want to read it. In the panic sickness I was not even able to read it because reading things was also a pain, too much for my brain. I could read only 1 sentence from it: John 14:1 "Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in me." And I prayed for the manifestation of this verse in my life. If Jesus is really the Son of God, then this verse should have power on my life. By the end of 2016 things changed, I found a good job and enjoyed working there. Also I went back to the church, but I saw that things there didn't change and they are more corrupt than before. I cried out to God if there is any good church in the city, if God is still working in that city somewhere. During this time 2016-2018 I had my fights with my mind as I had angry emotions towards the ex, at nights I couldn't sleep from anger. But the days were good in the office, I loved those days. Every weekend I travelled home to countryside to my family, it was a real rehabiliation, being with them and with my dog. In 2018 I found a good church and first I was still fighting with Christ inside, but after a few months I gave up my fights and opened my heart again to Jesus. I literally shouted to Jesus in March 2019, but couldn't stay on the vine for more than 2-3 weeks. It took further 0.5 year to come back again, till I could say: "Jesus, please come back into my life and come into my family, too". And I still had to learn how to stay on the vine. To do something every day that brings me closer to God and Jesus, and helps staying in God's holy presence. I managed to do it between Nov 2019-Febr.2020, then I had problems again with falling out into carnality, I started to speak ungodly. This time the problem was that my workplace became an idol in my eyes, and I worked long hours, especially in the quarantine period, from morning till late evening. This work contract got terminated at the beginning of May, thanks God, now I can say (they fired me because I told some colleagues that they were not working well, but hindering us, the diligent ones with their continuous private chats and poor job). In May-June-July I had neuritis vestibularis, which is the worst sickness I ever had, I was dizzy through months. And I had no hope if I will ever be healthy. I read on the net that some people had this through 2 years. But B6 vitamin+Magnesium helped a lot. Through 5-6 weeks I didn't understand why God didn't heal me (I am healthy since August). And I started to go deep into the Scriptures and also I saw these rapture dream videos on youtube, and that was the point when I woke up and realized that we are very close to the rapture!! I am so happy that God allowed me these things to go through because otherwise I would be still there, working from morning till late evening, handling invoices and I wouldn't know that Jesus is coming very soon!!! And since then, in the past 2 months, even if I make mistakes, I have hope every day because I know that God is so merciful!!! And Jesus!!!! How could I describe Him????? He is a Gentleman!!!!! He was standing there 4 years long at my door, He didn't break in the door, He allowed me to realize that He was there throughout the whole time and waiting! Although I was in terrible sins between 2015-2019 and He didn't leave me! So now I have HOPE that He will take me out from this world. Thank you Jesus! Please help me keep staying in Your presence, and please help the people who are struggling with the same problems to understand, that You are the only solution and we cannot do anything from our own power in order to get saved, only You can save us - and take us out from this world in the rapture! PLEASE HELP PEOPLE TO STAY ON THE VINE, EVERY DAY! We love you! Thank you!

Love when teachers are transparent man and honest and not try to seem perfect thank you for this man thank you💙

"If you are in control of your life, then God cannot be l" beautifully said!!!! TRUTH

I'm at a crossroads. Jesus Christ help me

That was me...felt like I died...felt like I didn't care about god anymore and continued in sin but then I started going to church and I kept repenting and repenting and I felt so hopeless...I had no hope for myself..thought I lost salvation but I decided to turn against hopelessness..forget my pain and sorrow....now I'm hoping to let go off the sin...by the power of the holyspirt...I decided to surrender my life again..to jesus.. to christ...I decree and declare it.. even though I feel wrose...even though I felt drained and empty..even though I felt like god got tired of me and I felt like I was heading to fire..even soo I had faith...in jesus to turn my life around... on earth as it is in heaven.

This is exactly what I having now! I stand with God for a month but I find myself again doing the same sins and I feel very guilty and like totally abandoned by God! I fight to get out of but it’s very strong than me! Your testimony gives me hope and in Jesus Christ’s name I will be in permanent relationship and communion with God. Need prayers and I don’t want to continue sinning. I cray everyday in my heart but I failed always even after crying! Jesus Christ heals my soul from sins and saves me Lord.

This is my story almost word for word! 3 months clean and everyday is a absolute roller coaster. Struggling with feelings that are foreign after being completely numb for so many years. Please if your reading this pray that God would see me through these tough times. Thank you and God bless 🙏

Man I felt like you the same. Jesus will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter how many times we do the wrong thing he loves us. I walked away from Jesus once I walked away from him many times and I heard his voice say “I Love you” That night I started crying for my life and my spirit for Jesus. I made my choice to come back to Jesus Just crying in tears for him again. I came from walking away from him to coming back to him again and again. This night coming back to him I felt ashamed that I walked away from him I felt spiritually isolated that I made my hearts promise to him and felt unworthy to break it. I came back to him repenting from walking away from him and back in his arms once again. He set my heart on eternal flame anyway and loved me and he waited for me to return to him once again. I said Jesus I am so sorry😭 because he loves me far deeper then this world and any world combined. I owe him my all.❤️ I owe him back my heart and my all for him giving me his life so my soul will live forever!!!

I spent 30 years as a prodigal son but Jesus never gave up on me although God had every reason to do so but Jesus came running towards me at my lowest point of life & washed me clean; although I'm not the man I ought to be Thank God I'm not the man I used to be . Glory to God I've been Redeemed from total destruction of my life Jesus Has lifted me up. Awesome Testimony Brother . What seems right to a man leads too destruction but Gods Ways lead too Eternal Salvation through Jesus Christ.

The sunset in the background is glorious🌞

Repentance, believing in the Scripture of Jesus Christ and being BornAgain. Get out and share the Gospel if you are able

Wow. I have been sinning with abandon. I haven’t been praying or reading my Bible or going to church because my job requires me to work Sundays. I feel so far from the life I feel I should be living. When I think to pray I just pass on it because I feel no power. I am upset that this is how I have been living but as I watched this in the park I felt a mighty wind and watched the trees being blown and I was reminded of our God’s mighty power. I pray for myself and anyone reading this to be overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Oh my gosh, every time I am having a problem spiritually, I come to your video's and you're talking about the very thing I needed. I was saved in 1978 at 28 yrs old. I had so much joy. I talked about Jesus every waking minute. I had the ministry of visitation, door to door, sharing Jesus Christ. I thought I was strong. Then I slipped back. I know that can happen to anybody, any Christian. Keep reading his word, keep praying, and going to church. These things are ESSENTIAL!!!!

This is how I feel everyday I cant seem to find my way back

Amen! Please pray for me, I need to break this cycle of sin.

Praise the Lord, dear Brother. I was saved when I was a teen. However, I strayed away as a young adult. It took many years for me to get back to God. Two failed marriages, numerous affairs, and many trips to mental hospitals due to nervous breakdowns. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. Jesus picked me up and let me know he was there all the time. All I had to do was reach out to him and Repent!!! I even got baptized again in the name of Jesus. I was told I didn't need to get baptized again by a Pastor. However, I felt I needed to and I got a refilling of God's Holy Spirit. I now walk with God by his Grace and Mercy. I am a child of the King!!! The enemy can not deceive me anymore. I trust in God!!! I know he cares for me. I praise you Jesus!!! Hallelujah!!! Thank you, for Sharing!!!

I came back to the Lord still addicted, but I tried and cried and eventually Jesus rescued me from my sins.

" He who the Son sets free, is free indeed. "

God bless you and your ministry Blessings be upon you in many more ways than one can imagine

"If you are in control of your life, God cannot be." Hits hard! Amen. I'm begging God to take the wheel. Pry my stubborn hands off it if need be. Help me Lord. 🙏

I completely related to this!!!! Its so easy to get caught up in worldly pleasures. Broken and bitter with horrible anxiety. Prodigal child feeding the pigs. That was me! Thank you Jesus for pulling me out of the muck! Thank you for your redemptive grace and mercy.

Young man. That is the most anointed, powerful, heartfelt testimony I have ever heard, and I have heard many. God bless you and keep you.👍😊

I am guilty of coming back to my old sin..."As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly." Proverbs 26:11

I can relate, I let doubt creep in and listened to the devil, now my life is in ruin. I had such strength in my faith prior and was given beautiful things from the Lord including a wife when I became homeless. Sadly I lost sight and became blinded to things, complaining and not realising how blessed I was by the precious blood of Christs sacrifice. I have repented but now my Godly wife has abandoned me. I have been truly humbled and my pride and sin gave the enemy a foothold to divide and destroy me. Only Yahusha saves. Thank you for sharing friend

Please pray for my wife. She's backsliding hard.

“For He says: “In an acceptable time I have heard you, And in the day of salvation I have helped you.” Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” ‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭6:2‬ ♥️ encouragement for people! I have felt this same way and I’ve been so hurt that I figured everything late (in my opinion) but God has the divine timing. I hope this scripture helps someone.

Wow.. this msg really spoke to me. I was baptized and delivered two years ago. A couple of weeks ago I fell into temptations. Ive been feeling so ashamed.. I fell right back into my sinful ways. The devil tricked me and I fell for it. I’ve been so heart broken and I’ve had so much resentment towards myself. Your words brought me to tears. It’s been everything I’ve been living the last couple of weeks. Please pray for me. My name is Anastazia . God bless thank you.

This is where I'm at. Why does God make it so hard to find your way back? I'm relearning what it means to die to myself. It doesn't come with that strong desire to submit that it used to. I have to force myself to do something I don't want to do. It's so much harder. Maybe because I've been away from the love for so long? I don't know but I seriously appreciate this video. It's come at the right time.

Amen! I struggle with awful trauma and sickness, I want a life of surrender and serving the Lord but something in my soul is just resisting. We battle not against flesh and blood, I hate the powers of this world so much!

Pls pray for me i m suffering from anxiety

Please pray for me, I'm repeating sin again & again even though I know the truth, mostly during temptation I fall down Even though I promise myself not to do it again anymore since many years 🙏 Please pray for me

This is the only video that describes how I feel, it so hard to just give it up.. and you don’t really know at all what to do or how to start, you are broken, you know that at some point to you want to be start alining your path but then there is that one sin that you just keep running to… this helped a lot because now I feel like I’m not the only one and that there is a way out in all of this chaos.

Amen! Thank you brother. Please pray for me! This is exactly what I'm going through.... I am struggling to let go of my past, struggling to forgive my husband. I no longer hear the voice of God. But I so desire it. Please. Please pray for me

This hit home . God bless you man

It's exactly my present condition right now,,,, oh lord I wanna get back to you, help me oh lord 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

God bless you brother, since almost 2 years I am repanting and felt so regret and lonely....but by this video I am getting some hope.....

Amen "SELF EXAMINATION CURES SELF DECEPTION"

"Either you are in control of your life, or God is. You can't have it both ways". Great truth!

Your videos are always on time. God bless you 🙏

Being extremely poor pushes me away from Jesus's connection 😢may the lord restore my soul 😮

If anyone willing to pray for me. Please pray for me for my life

I really needed this I am struggling to get back to God and I'm crying every single day in prayer I want that inner peace and that big faith I had in him I could feel like my soul is hurt so much I know wat it feels like to have that perfect relationship with Christ If I sinned and realise it I will not continue to do that sin even though the devil puts the thought that "you already sinned so it doesn't matter if you sin a bit more" but I always said no for christ made me aware of it. Pls pray for me I'm struggling with productivity, because of phone addiction, every day I cry to God to not hide his face from me pls pray.

❤❤❤🙏🏾 this is what i needed to hear😭😭

I've backslide from God and I feel helpless I'm glad I've came across this video thanks please pray for me

Thank you I am an 11 yr old and this helps, I know that the final days before tribulation is coming and I’m scared for it and I’m trying to get better with god to survive( be safe, god loves you)

I approve this message 100% To God be the Glory!!!

I experienced the love of Jesus but I am not doing what he says. I want to so badly but something is wrong with me and I just don’t. Please pray for me guys to love and worship my loving and just god. Thank you for this video it is exactly how I feel right now thank the lord.

Thank you brother. Every word cut to the heart. Jesus is King.

I have done the same things BUT when I finally broke down and I asked God to restore the joy of his salvation to me , HE then began my journey back to HIM. REPENTENCE has a price. HE doesn't make it easy. IT can't be easy because WHEN we ask HIM to restore US, IT is a long journey back BUT I have learned thru this pain that I caused in my own life and the lives of others that I NEVER want to leave or walk away from GOD again. I NEVER WANT TO TAKE MY EYES OFF HIM EVER, NEVER AGAIN !!! GOD BLESS AND KEEP YOU AND I KNOW HE WILL BROTHER !!! Thank you for sharing this message.

We are still in the flesh , That’s why we. need our Lord JESUS every single second in our life

That is where our adversary wants to keep us and he says we’re hopeless, but Christ says through Him there is hope.

Thank you for this encouragement as I struggle now with exactly what you're speaking about. God Bless you.

Jesus never left you. "I will never leave you or forsake you." The word never means never.

I have decided to follow Jesus my Saviour. I'm not turning back again because Jesus is the only Way, Truth and Life !!! Amen !!! Thanks for sharing your testimony!!! God bless you!!!

Repent and believe in Jesus and be born again. Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up. Jesus will never fail you if you have faith in Him. God bless🙏

Jesus Christ is the only way!

If anyone reads this, pray for me please. I reconciled like 8 months ago. Oh well I thought I did. And I fell right back into sin. And at time I do not seem to care. And it scares me so much. It’s like I don’t want my friends to look at me weird. I’m to attached to worldly things. And I want to come back and serve the lord. God bless

everything he said.....happened to my life....and this year was the year he picked me up again and started afresh, I can't imagine going back

Well done Phillip!!! Excellent testimony! Excellent presentation! (and beautiful sunset!)

I spent years backslidden and numb, feeling dead inside and I have come back and it has been a roller coaster, holding on to the faith by my finger tips currently, feeling things that I haven’t felt in over 6 years. Here’s my story not in detail. Radically Born again in 2010 but thought I could flirt with sin here and there and get away with it I guess. I was very wrong. Then in 2013 I was deceived by two false prophets which transferred the kundalini spirit to me and I was led down the darkest path of my life. Realized I had been deceived and I ran from God for 4 years, I thought I was utterly doomed and rejected by God and severely condemned, I was terrified of Him, became scared to even pray, I tried to come back in 2018, fell right back into deception but slowly but surely my eyes were opened to how deceived I’ve been and then in October last year I was delivered from the kundalini spirit, i spent 6 years in a kundalini awakened state and then finally delivered last year but it’s been one of the hardest journeys of my whole life trying to bounce back. It’s been a year since I was delivered and it has been SO HARD. I thought I was going to be stuck like that forever but nope I was delivered so that gives me hope. I am still broken beyond recognition. Even though I experienced such a radical deliverance I still battle with despair every day. This year has been one marked by many powerful spiritual attacks that have wearied me greatly at times. For those who are willing, please pray that I make a full recovery.

Hey man i had the same issue coming back. It was rough. I was apostate. By grace. By amazing grace i am back.

Pray for my health and my mental,physically health,and emotional health and family thx❤️

Your gentle, honest approach in these videos is soul winning. Thank you Brother Philip.

😭😭😭 it's like you've summarized my current life right now...I want God so badly but I'm being faced with the decision of letting go of things and I've tried and tried again and again but I keep on failing and I feel so empty inside and it's like I don't have the power on my own to break through and I asked myself this question earlier like what's the point of this?what's the point of living for things and not for God if I'm going to feel this way???I'm literally in tears right now 😭😭😭😭

I have to choose...no more straddling the fence

Such an inspiration. Thanks Jesus of my life

I have too much sin around me to really understand what the major sin i am supposed to let go of to get me going in the right direction....

This is exactly what I been going through for a year now...really ministered to me...thank you!!!

I have drifted so far apart that I don't even feel remorseful for my sins anymore but I do knw what I'm doing is wrong I just don't feel convicted lik I use to 😭😭😭 and that breaks me