i was in a cult... 😅 // ICOC STORYTIME 

Hi! Welcome to the comment section of this video. If you are a practicing Christian and you are here to tell me about how God loves me and how to actually interpret the bible, please don't. The purpose of this video is to discuss religious trauma and warn against a dangerous group. I understand the desire to try to help me, but I'm asking you to resist the urge. Your comment WILL be deleted if it falls under those parameters. I would love for this comment section to remain a safe space for people to share their experiences with ICOC and/or other religious trauma. I hope that you all can respect my wishes, thank you.

Gotta love the hypocrisy of “we’ve all been talking and we think you gossip too much.” 💀 Glad you have found happiness, fellow speck!

My campus banned them from stepping foot on our campus (I went to a private institution). They also published a warning in our school newspaper. I’m so glad our interfaith campus office looked out for us. My ex was a member and he dealt with so much emotional abuse.

Sara, I feel like I’ve learned all of this story over the last 7 years, but it’s so powerful to hear you talk about it all at once. I’m so sorry for the trauma and adversity you faced for those years, but I am so proud of the woman you’ve become being authentically you and not restricted by what was forced upon you. This is video is going to bring so much comfort and validation to those like us who have experienced these things. I love you so dearly ❤

girl THANK YOU for this video. i was approached by the ICC (offspring of the ICOC) , and had been doing some bible studies with them at my college for a few weeks. I would’ve never known without this. I blocked all of their phone numbers, I am NOT getting involved in a cult. thank you thank you thank you

Saraaa. I grew up in this church and only left a year ago.. im 26 and it has devastated my life. I went to college in boston, which was 100% the MOST legalistic church in the entire congregation. I relate to EVERYthing you said. It was so much more intense where I was 😭😭 we need a support group

I will just say, as an ex-member, that they actually *did* explicitly say that they were “The One True Church” and the only ones going to heaven. I was part of this church from a teenager to my mid-thirties, for over 20 years. Those “one true church” philosophies were endorsed all the way until 2003. People walked it back verbally but they still silently cling to it, as evidenced by the dating culture and the children’s ministry. Sadly, based on what I’ve heard from recent ex-members, the same things are still happening. I held several leadership positions and did my very best to hold to its teachings - and even disseminated them myself, until the chasm between my core values and beliefs, and the overt and covert teachings of the church, became too great for me to overcome. I left in 2018. 4 years later, I’m still working through the indelible mark the impact of the ICOC on virtually every aspect of my life. The only thing I regret is not leaving sooner.

There is no exaggeration here. All of this is 100% accurate. I was a part of the church for 12 years. Left in 2009.

I am a male and was in ICOC in Los Angeles from 1997 to 2001. We were told who we should ask out for dates, who we should "encourage" and who to avoid. In my experience i had no control over my dating life. On time a sister called me because her car broke down really close to my house. I went and got her car running and I got in trouble from my discipler for not having others with us. I was then told to avoid her, I found out later from her when she left ICOC she was told the same from her discipler. It was ridiculous.

I dedicated 17 years of my life to this cult before I left. Thank you for sharing your story.

I’ve been married for 35 yrs to a ICOC member. I converted and attended for 13 years. I literally had to be schooled with their propaganda lesson- “Sharpening the Sword”. I finally left the church and got my children out of it. There’s no grace, no mercy in ICOC. Thankfully my kids now know that salvation isn’t found in baptism and being the member of “the one true church”. My husband still gets tempted to send his church members over to “minister” to me. I politely let him know that I do not believe that way and I have an intimate relationship with Christ. My husband still sends my kids propaganda on baptism and they don’t respond. It’s been an uphill battle. Vacations have to be cut short so he doesn’t miss “worship”, but I stand my ground. We will have months of peace and then he starts getting antsy and here comes the sermons on baptism. Baptism is the ICOC’s god. Thank you for this video. ❤

Sara, thank you for sharing your story publicly. The ICOC is totally a destructive cult and you did a good job explaining some of its odd practices. I am thankful that you got out. I totally belive seeing your videos were helpful in my own deconstruction process. Your videos gave me some hope, knowing that there was the possibility of having a life outside of the church.

As a Ex-ICOC member this is 100% accurate

💀 I was born into a cult and left when I was 16. The feeling of being able to dress the way I want to and choose whatever I wanted to read is so healing, but 10 years later I still feel like I’m growing past guilt!

Sara- we haven’t spoke in years but from my high school time going to church with you and Emily, I always had bad vibes. I’m glad you were able to find yourself through all the brainwashing! Proud to know you!

I was in that cult from 1997 to 2003 when the FAMOUS Henry Kriete letter came out. Thank you Henry Kriete!!! Otherwise, I'd probably still be running around like a chicken with his head cut off, going to pointless meeting after meeting and probably suffered from two or three mental breakdowns already. The longer you are in, the more impossible it is to leave that cult, because you would have to admit that the time spend was a lie. Although, their "doctrine" isn't 100% correct, the one thing I did appreciate was the emphasis of personal bible study. Unfortunately, it's through the lense of the ICOC.

Im a missionary at Kutztown University and I was approached by this group today claiming that they were launching a college ministry at our campus. It was super frustrating talking to them because they took every passage in the Bible and completely twisted it into something else

i'm currently halfway through the video and had to stop to write this comment because you're a GREAT storyteller. the 20+ mins that passed flew by.

💀 Solidarity from an ex-cult “sister”. Love seeing you life your best life out here in the real world. 💕✨

Just to add on. ICOC will make you hate the word encouragement 🤢

💀 I was in the Chicago church for 12 years first as a high school graduate in the teens ministry, then as a college student, single and then the married ministry. You summed up so much of my experience so well and I appreciate you putting into words what I have so much trouble communicating. For 10 years I couldn't go into a church without bursting into tears. Finally found my way back to God and have been a deacon for a few years. I still struggle with prayer and personal Bible study (qt's) but give myself grace knowing that trauma leaves an indelible mark. I left 'the church' and my abusive husband in one day and never looked back.

It must take so much courage to leave this kind of environment, I cant even imagine. You are so brave 🔥

💛 always wild to hear about your experience with them and crazy to think about how much has changed even from when we first met!!

You did an incredible job of explaining it all. Grateful my exit was less dramatic and traumatizing. The most cringe common occurrence for me was the justification of outright abuse and illegal actions as simply “sin.” “Well if they’ve repented then they’re forgiven.” And EVERYTHING was a popularity contest. How many people asked you to “get time” with them this week = how popular you were. Asked to be in multiple bible studies? You must be super religious. And WTF was up with church leadership saying someone wasn’t *spiritual enough* to date 🤢 SO GLAD WE ARE OUT OF THERE. But how many years were wasted rewiring our indoctrinated brains. I pity the people still sucked in, still with their entire lives entwined in it all. They are missing out on so much beauty and LIFE.

I grew up in the church. My mom was pregnant with me when my parents started studying the bible, and she was baptized shortly after I was born. It was all I ever knew. I left in 2020, right at the beginning of the pandemic. That church caused so much chaos in my family. My sister was in a relationship with her current husband, at a point when she was starting to leave the church. We were both in the campus ministry at that time, and the elders had a meeting with the whole campus ministry, telling them not to treat her like a sister anymore because she was immoral. The funny thing is, there were 2 other children of leaders, that were also in immoral relationships, but no announcement was made about them. That was the beginning of the end for me. Also, I hated how you would confide in someone about something, and they would go share it with someone else, but try to make it seem like it was because they cared. Like, "pray for Bianca, because she's struggling with XYZ." They also placed more responsibility on women for being modest, than they did did men's purity. My biggest problem, was because they always tried to act like they were the only "true Christians."

💀💀💀 Girl this was soooo relatable!!!! I was in ICOC in Atlanta for 7 years at north river. I left in 2016

💀 felt so seen as someone who also grew up with deep religious trauma in the church. Thank you for sharing your story💕

💀 I’m so sorry you’ve had such a bad experience with religion. I didn’t know anything about ICOC before this video and I’m really shocked at some of the things that happened in your church. I’m religious myself, but my experience has been very different than yours as I feel like my church and my relationship with God strengthen me and help me rather than hinder me. I’m so happy to hear you’re in a happier and healthier place now, and I wish you all the best in the future. ❤

“you don’t have a mental health problem you have a sin problem” literally fuck that

Gurrrrrl…. I was a leader in the LA ICOC and in this cult for 17 years! We talk about this particular colt a lot on our WhaTheFlok podcast-The truth is that it was/is about 1000 times worse than what you even know… Let’s put it this way, I pretty much “know where all the bodies are buried”… It was hideous & destructive, and I’ll probably have PTSD for the rest of my life… But at least I am out and on the other side and happy and thriving!! Thanks so much for using your voice!…The more people that share their stories, the more people we can reach and help! ❣️💪🏼

Encouragement dates were a joke… households were manipulative ways to control new members and “sharing faith” was bogus 😂 I’m glad you got out… 4 year of my life that I do not want to go back to ever again. Gaslighting university pretty much

Sounds exhausting

You're so amazing Sara. Thank you so much for this amazing video. You summed it up so well! I'm actually looking forward to sharing this video with a few people that I have confided in about my experiences. Keep being awesome. 💀

This sounds like Jehovah's Witnesses under a different name.

💀I left the ICOC at 19. You did such a great job explaining what I have so much trouble articulating.

I beg you to do the dictionary thing, so you can save somebody from entering the cult. As you said it's very specific, so I am sure they use it all of the time and while scouting for new members they could easily be spotted and avoided by people. Maybe you meet a new person that seems lovely at first, but you notice this lingo and you can nope out of that situation. I know I would be glad as I generally do not get along with very "religious" people and I for sure don't want to be in contact with somebody from a religious cult

💀 hey bestie can I share my religious trauma back and give you a kick ass book rec?? K thanks. This video was like…so..cathartic? Thank you so much for sharing all of this!! I grew up baptist because my parents were and that’s just how it was for me ever since I was born. I had a lot of religious friends too and I completely relate to all the feelings of “well you need to question your faith but only so that it’s making your faith stronger!” I remember the first 2 people I came out to told me I should pray away the gay and it was really just…traumatic!! So trust me girl I know EXACTLY what that cultish feeling feels like. I remember my sister stopped going to church and all these people were like “where is your sister?” And I was like “oh she’s not interested in being here anymore.” And the reactions to that was like “wow that’s SO SAD!!” And I think I said out loud “is it?” Lol. Now I’m so glad i have 2 sisters and they both are like yo church is trash which is incredibly helpful for my personal mental health. I remember I used to go every single Wednesday night to these study groups and they always split up the boys and girls and I was like but I have nothing in common with the boys?? I will say the family that hosted them did tell me once they said “we don’t care what you believe we are just happy you are here.” And that was actually a really nice sentiment I still remember. A big reason I love Cassandra Clare is because of a line in clockwork angel when Tessa is asking jem about what he believes and jem says to Tessa “I don’t believe people can be threatened into goodness.” And he is referring to how preachers/religious people will threaten hell as like a motivation to be good. It literally gives me chills thinking about that line and why Jem is an incredibly meaningful character to me. You know I owe a lot to the diviners too. By the time I read Cassie Clare and the diviners I was already so far past believing in most of the Christian theology but some of those lines like “There is nothing more terrifying than the absoluteness of one who believes he's right” makes me think of being younger and those preachers just thinking they are literally the voice of God. It does shit to your psyche. Ok but also I don’t think you’ve read the Bear and the nightingale from what I’ve seen so let me leave you with this FUCKING ICONIC quote: “All my life,” she said, “I have been told ‘go’ and ‘come.’ I am told how I will live, and I am told how I must die. I must be a man’s servant and a mare for his pleasure, or I must hide myself behind walls and surrender my flesh to a cold, silent god. I would walk into the jaws of hell itself, if it were a path of my own choosing. I would rather die tomorrow in the forest than live a hundred years of the life appointed me. Please. Please let me help you.” ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ Church sucks!!!

Just watched the whole video, oh hon I'm so sorry all that happened to you. I raised 3 kids in that church that are close to your age and we ALL left 4 years ago. If you ever want to talk I'm here for you. It's fucked with so many peoples heads😭

42:24 “I just think that you gossip too much and I’ve been talking to a lot of people” Umm… did you not just define gossiping?

I grew up in this church. I feel robbed and slowly I’m working through the trauma of it all.

Everything you said was one hundred percent accurate even down to the cadence and tone in how they would say things like they “missed you” or “did you get advice about that?” and it was like calm down I just saw you 2 days I repeat 2 days ago or like I can think for myself(which no you could not)!! Much love from another ex “sister” who also left in 2021! I was in for about 5/6 years. I had panic attacks, anxiety, depression, and more. They wanted me to quit my job to be a part of things mind you we met like every single day. It was exhausting and so destructive. I remember both the terror I felt in leaving but also the freedom from no longer “sipping the Kool-Aid”(as me and my friends called it). The trauma is very real and so hard to describe if you weren’t in it. At this point I’m waiting on the Netflix documentary lbvs Best thing that came out of it was meeting my husband (which to everything you said about dating culture chile we may have been the worst of the worst rebels 😂 bc *gasp* he knew I liked him and we were genuine friends for awhile and when I say we almost didn’t date bc it was like 6-8months before anything happened and I just had to sit there watching him also take other girls on “encouragement dates” and I just had to sit there I was like oh hell nah I know my worth forget it!!! Thank God it all worked out in the end even tho that was also very traumatic n then we both ended up leaving later on 😂I’m so glad you got out as well and are doing so well and to others telling their stories much love❤

Ha! Former member here…. They are misguided. One thing I can give Kip is that he can brainwash people. They kicked him out, yet kept his teachings.

I'm so sorry they made you feel worthless and lonely. Nobody deserves it. Thank you for sharing your story; I've never been in a situation like yours but I know videos like these are so important for so many people to feel less alone.

My cousins wife was once in the Boston Church of Christ which is part of the ICOC. She still goes to church just not the ICOC lol

So seeing this notification really through me bc I was also in this church (in the UK) I was born into it and finally left for good at 22 and ooff do I have boatloads of trauma from being in it/the process of leaving and I’m already relating so much to this video it’s always nice to know I’m not alone in this especially when leaving meant losing every friend I was allowed to be close to and coming to the realisation that it was a cult and at least for me a very toxic environment thank you so much for this video

💀 Oh my gosh you don’t know refreshing this is to see someone else who was part of this church for as long as I was and understands what it was like.. it really does take over your life and becomes your identity.. I recently left and I’m so glad I did but I am struggling :( it’s hard losing all those friendships

My niece is in this cult. And I think she’s one of those “mean” girls now. It breaks my heart

Sooooo... as an ex-member who was in "the church" for almost 20 years, I related to your story 100%. I was often looked at as the "struggling sister" and had many of those hard talks. One person even told me outright that I was going to hell. So glad I left that church and have felt so much better after doing so. Thanks so much for putting this unique experience to words. I often try to tell my friends now about this weird ass time in my life and can't quite articulate it right. You hit the nail on the head.

I was in this church 20 years ago. I'm so glad that I was only in there for six months. I was shy and didn't go out to make disciples. I got sick of them always controlling me so I left with no regrets.

💀 I’m sorry you had to go through that lonely time. I’m glad you’re in a happier place!

I kept getting distracted by your eye shadow. I need to know what it is. Hearing all this stuff is wild.

Oh yeah that's definitely a cult in my opinion. I grew up catholic, I now consider myself agnostic but thankfully nothing was ever that extreme. I feel proud of you for getting out of the church. Oh and before I forget: 💀

Love this video. It’s informative while also being entertaining and absolutely WILD. I’ve been waiting for this video

As someone who is actively transitioning out into another church in Texas... all of this is so true. Honestly it's kind of creepy how accurate this is across all the ICOC churches

I was in this cult for 21 years. Thank you for sharing.

Does the name Mike Fontenot ring a bell?

If you haven’t you should look in to the book Cultish: the Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell, it discusses how and why cults use their own vocabulary and weaponize the community they create which I totally thought of when you mentioned the use of special terms within ICOC

Man I was involved in this cult for 2-3 years before the pandemic the first thing that stood out to me was right after getting baptized i didn’t get a baptism certificate thank you for making this video

I admire the fact that you made this video. Also it sounded like it was exhausting. EDIT I typed the fact but I mean you! You're awesome.

I’m sorry you had such a horrible time in Australia, I hope you can come back some day and experience normal life

💀I didn't grow up in a cult church, but there were a lot of culty elements. I really wanted to believe. I couldn't understand why I found it so hard to read the bible. Also similar to you, I was a christian for 10 years. I 'prayed the prayer' and got baptized at age 11, then my shelf broke at age 21 and I de-converted. I feel really sad for my younger self because I went through 10 years of needless suffering while being in the closet and hating who I was. I'm 24 now and far more confidant & happy being my queer agnostic self.

Reminds me of when JW tried to encourage me to get baptized again… like no? I don’t see the need to get baptized again, especially as a JW. I don’t even like the meetings.

*Skull emoji* Everything you've said is 100% TRUE! I grew up in ICOC and became a "member" when I was 15, 11 years later I finally decided to leave early 2021 because I had enough. It's been almost 2 years since I've left and I do not regret my choice at all. So glad you were able to get out when you did and fall in love with who you are!

I was a part of the church for 26 years. All of what you said is true. I can say I have a lot of blessings from my time in the church but I can't argue with any of your points. Being a free thinker was hard and not easy in the church. My beliefs have changed considerably. I now for the first time feel free and joy.

bible goodreads rating?

💀 Former "kingdom kid" here. I grew up in the Boston area where it was founded and oh boy are you right on the money here. I left when I was 17 (which is omg like 18 years ago now) and you really hit the nail on the head with how frustrating it can be if you think for yourself in this group. Now a queer trans atheist and very grateful to have a family that accepts they'll never get me back in and also wants to be in my life, but I know lots of folks who have had much worse experiences. Thank you for sharing!

This is WILD 👀 thanks for sharing, this was so interesting

loved watching this. The ICOC excommunicated me seven years ago, and to this day it was the best decision they ever made for me

So glad you made it out and your happy and thriving! I wouldn’t call my experience with religion a cult but it was traumatic. I have been away from the church 15 years and have no regrets. It makes me sick to look back on the subtly ways they would twist things to fit their narrative and hurt or exclude people, and my participation in it as well. I choose to live with love and understanding for ALL now and feel so much more at peace. ♥️

I wonder why the bible is so mysogenoir.. it’s almost like… it was written by a man … strange… Thanks so much for sharing your story it really helps, I’ve seen random people in my city being approached by young people from certain “churches” so it’s good to know their tactics to help avoid getting sucked in :)

Christ Rescued Me from the Church of Christ....by Lee Anne Ferguson

Thank you so much for sharing, Sara. I can relate to so much of what you're saying and I'm sorry for what happened to you. There is still a lot of hurt and pain from the church that I feel every day -- feeling wrong and like I'm not good enough no matter what I would do. I'm glad you can be your true self on the other side. Thanks for being so real. 💀

“It’s giving Mormon.” 💀😂

Sis speak on it! You nailed the whole experience.

It sounds a LOT like being a Mormon from my past experience. Except the part about courtship. It's kinda the opposite w LDS church and I used to hear about a six week courtship that resulted in marriage. I'm SO happy for you. Regardless of the social benefits, organized religion in general is just a cult w more history. ❤

Legalism!! Sad to hear how they push people away from Christ. Whom the Son set free is free indeed!! Instead of receiving me as a pastor visiting their city they wanted to close my ministry and join them 😁😁😁

sara!!! thank you so much for sharing this story. i am so happy to see you’ve been doing better since your no longer in ICOC. i’ve never been involved in a religious cult, but i’ve also faced a lot of trauma from religion and it feels so nice to know i’m not the only one :) wishing you the best! 🥰💀

I didn't think it was clickbait because I just ran into some culty people last week. They freaked me out

💀 this story was wild! Thanks for being so open en honest about it. So glad you’re in a happier place right now and living your best life!

I relate so much to this video, albeit on a smaller scale. I know I’ve commented a few times on your videos over the years (I’ve always loved loved loved your energy and sense of humor!!); feel free to ignore this comment but I just wanted to share that you’re not alone in experiences like this and I admire you so much for sharing. I think I always assume that because I had a good church growing up that I never suffered any religious trauma, but watching this made me realize that I’ve had a lot of similar experiences to you. When I was in college I was part of this Catholic community that looking back on it was pretttyyy culty. I had a good friend in that community who had pretty much a 180 on her views and basically woke up one day and changed her beliefs to atheism; ofc I didn’t really give a shit but that was like a big deal. I remember other friends I had in that community were pretty angry with her and like took it personally. I remember not understanding why her changing her beliefs had to make her change as a person. It reminded me of the “fallen away” thing you mentioned. Like she wasn’t the same person they knew anymore. I’m horrified at the way everyone in your church just dropped you; that’s so damaging and isolating and I’m so happy you’re free from such a toxic environment. Looking back I recognized I adopted a lot of judgmental tendencies that I’m not proud of. Catholics have daily Mass (basically daily church services); I got in this mindset that more Masses I went to the better I was. If I didn’t go to the 15 things a week (looking back, there were an INSANE amount of activities. We had Bible study, Sunday Suppers, Discipleship…) or show up at Mass everyday, people would call me on it. Especially if I missed Sunday Mass. I felt so pressured to go to all of these events and like I was a worse Catholic than my friends. So toxic. I remember I got judged that my mom was Catholic but my dad wasn’t, and like their relationship wasn’t as good because of that. I remember my sophomore year I got pressured big time into leading a Bible study myself and I fucking hated it. I was so bad at it and it made me so miserable-I can’t even remember how I got out of that but somehow I did lol. I remember we had this talk once where they told us not to be “just friends” with guys because we’d tempt them. Anyway, sorry this comment is so long but I just wanted to share. You’re not alone!! ❤️

I was a part of the ICOC for almost 18 years before I tenured my resignation from it 2 years ago this past November because the leadership looked at me as a problem part time member and I was devoting my time to my college education at Long Beach City College. Plus there was some members who gave me problems that the leadership didn't do anything about.

I was just watching your book reviews and stumbled onto this video! Thank you for sharing your experience, I’m so glad you’re out of that environment! I was part of a very controlling college Christian church and your examples reminded me so much of what they expected of us 😅 here’s to better communities and futures ❤️

I love ur hair can we get a hair care routine or product list cuz its gorgeous!😍👌

There are several things I need to say. You told your experience and the whole vibe of the church amazingly and I was right there with you the whole time. I felt really sad hearing of how lonely you felt and the way that the church can lure people in by exploiting their human feelings of being alone. I watched your video of facts about you back in 2017, I think you made it like on your birthday or something, and ever since then you have been one of my very favorite Booktubers to watch. I love your personality and I got so sad to hear of people excluding you and not being your friend anymore. So glad you started posting and found your people on here and have started LIVING your own life. Makes me never wanna go to church again 💀💀💀

I grew up Mormon. Some of the things I could relate to.

I grew up in the church, and this is 100% accurate to my experience. I started to question the church as a teen, and made the decision to stop attending. My mom was still very active in the church, and they had some of the other teens who were in the church and went to my school corner me between classes for a while in an effort to convince me to go back. There was also them trying to give me a job once I was working on deconstruction (so, trying to get me back again). They also recommended my mom to a "therapist", who was another lady in the congregation (read: my mom knew her prior, so this is a violation to the oath therapists take, permitting this lady was actually licensed). They also consistently told my mom to divorce my dad because he was raised Lutheran and wouldn't leave his Lutheran upbringing to join them.

Not sure if you’ll mention this (haven’t finished) but when I was a member, the women were not allowed to say no when asked on a date.

Please dont let cults turn you away from God or the truth about salvation in Christ by faith. I am dealing with a lot of these members on my campus who believe you must have works and you are not justified by faith in the gracious sacrifice of Jesus.

I agree 100% and I understand. I was part of the cult. Late 90s early 00s. It was horrible!

OMG.....I was in ICOC from 1997-1999. I was actually DISFELLOWSHIP after the death of my aunt in Brooklyn and was told to never come back. Fast-forward to me bumping into the woman who disfellowshipped me...and she avoided me so hard and even denied it!!

this is so interesting to watch omg… i’ve been a subscriber since literally the beginning of your channel like i remember the iconic cat ears lmao i don’t recall how old you were but like how far were you into this cult during that time, were you still really involved or were you almost out? i’m nosy lol

Whewwwwwww. Harrison and I left the church three or so years ago and we definitely could relate to everything you talked about. We were sitting in our living room listening to your experience and we both were like “do you remember anything that would have raised a ~red flag~ with Sara?” And we were both at a loss 🤷🏻‍♀️ I hate that there are so many people that share the negative experiences and lost friendships that we would have thought were close. Anyway thanks for sharing your story, and I’m sorry you’ve been through sh!t too (I have no idea if RU-vid censors swear words or not haha)

I’m a new subscriber, thanks for sharing your story. I grew up jw and am no longer religious. I also loveee knowing that I’m just a speck in the universe. That concept doesn’t bring everyone comfort, but for people who had to live their life for others it’s so freeing

I was one of the people hoping you'd share your story about this and wow, thank you for doing so! Very eye opening and I'm so glad you're in a better place now away from all that. I never had a formal church I was a part of, but I feel like I have a bit of religious trauma just from going through my teens in a small, conservative town in FL and having religious people in my family. My stepmom tried to covert heavily when I was in middle school and she used my parents divorce and me living with my mom as ammo to tell me I was a bad person for "being of the world" and always wanted me to go youth group with my stepsister when I'd visit my dad. My white family is annoyingly religious with their Christianity to the point that I just grew up default thinking I was a Christian. It wasn't until I moved to FL and was around actual religious people that I was like, oh no honey you're not. But then I always would make friends with people who'd try to get me to go their church or want me to join groups where everyone was super religious and idk, it just became a big no for me eventually. To the point that now I honestly don't enjoy being around people who claim to be Christian or catholic. My other side of the family is Hindu and I actually never felt uncomfortable around them or even going to temples bc they never made me feel bad about myself - idk, maybe i wasn't around them enough. But my mom is first Gen immigrant indian and also isn't religious despite my grandparents being Hindu so she helped me a lot in being able to comfortably back of out religion. To this day, I just don't like overly religious people and can't vibe with them.

Ex member here as well. Still recovering from it and learning my identity now

They asked me to leave my mother and father, so I could live with another church member of the church. It's usually in a apartment with 5 men.

I'm Australian, I hate hate hate the church, I'm sorry that you experienced that kind of judgement from people here. 😔

Also the ways they would address dating with men vs women was insane. Before I started dating a guy in the church I was part of, I wasn’t allowed to even talk about my feelings for him but rather, “guard my heart”. He however knew I had a crush on him for MONTHS. I later found out he reciprocated those feelings when he was ASKING ME OUT. It was insane.

You so clearly explained the experience of SOOOO many people! Thank you for sharing this video and information. -a former member

I was not a part of this specific church/cult, I was in several Pentecostal/evangelical/conservative churches and SO much of this resonated with me. The homophobia, misogyny (the stumbling block thing OOF, we couldn’t wear leggings) the strict rules on dating, guilt and sin (even in passing thoughts) converting friends to Christ, being saved in the right way, etc. I spent so much of my life feeling so conflicted and guilty and confused about what was right and true. I don’t care what ANYONE says, telling a 3rd grader that if they don’t invite their friends to church they’re going to spend eternity in hell is so incredibly fucked up and emotionally manipulative. Cause I believed that shit, but I also knew how ridiculous it was to go up to someone and talk about religion. Thank you for sharing your story! I’m so glad myself and others are leaving these toxic, hateful places.