Oh for hell's sake. I left the church when I was 13 years old. The bishop called me in to his office and proceeded to ask me if I was having sex - I said no - and he asked why. I told him I was 13 years old for God's sake. I never went back. What a freak.
I had the unfortunate task of counseling a young female rape victim once. It was long ago, but I recall every moment of that encounter. She felt defiled, dirty, and worthless. I told her that we are not defined by what happens to us, but by the way we are able to react. I told her that what the man did was only to her body, not to her, so it did not affect her "worth." If her mind and spirit could recover, then what happened to her body won't destroy her. Honestly, I don't know what happened to her after that. We only had the one session. I hope I helped, but I wasn't able to have another session, nor could I follow up with her. I think about that girl now and then, but it's been too long and I don't remember her name. I hope she came through it OK.
@@woodnymph3063 Beg pardon? The purpose of that counseling WAS to "disembody" the assault. To help her understand that her assailant only touched her body and she was more than that. Like a scar on the skin doesn't make a person less beautiful. She seemed pretty OK with our session, but for reasons that are unimportant, we could not continue. How would you have counseled her differently? Seriously, I'd like to know. That's a trick question, of course. No matter what you say, you're wrong. And if you know WHY you're wrong, I'll give you more credit. But I am betting you're one of those online trolls that just LIVES to criticize everything you read just for the thrill you get from trying to get people to second guess themselves. That's pretty sick, and I've counseled one or two people who have been victims of people like you.
I grew up Baptist (and still am.) I can’t remember where I heard the sermon, but the speaker was recalling an event in his youth where his pastor did this same analogy, but with a rose. He noted how beautiful it was and showed everyone. Then, he gave it to the crowd and had everyone feel it, smell it, pass it around. Then when he got it back, he held it up to reveal how ripped and worn it had become, then said, “Now that it’s like this, who’s going to want it? No one!” (Implying no one’s going to want you if you’re ‘impure.’). And my pastor, who was a teen at the time, was moved nearly to tears in his frustration. He was furious and hurt. It really stuck with him, so when he became the pastor at our church, he did a sermon series about how God wants the rose, no matter how battered and bruised it is, and He makes it new and it is His love that makes it worthy. No matter who we are or where we come from or what we’ve done, our worth is defined by God and Him alone, and we are made a new creation in Him. We have an unwavering value. His sermon really had a positive impact on me. I still remember his quivering voice, almost begging us to understand how truly loved we are, as he said, _“God wants the rose.”_ (The rose was a metaphor for us altogether; it was not only about chastity, but about our pasts and how they don’t define us).
I like the story of the teacher who showed a twenty dollar bill. Everyone raised their hand. He threw it on the floor and dragged his shoe over it. Everyone still raised their hand. Then he balled it up. Everyone still raised their hand. He said Why? They said it's still worth twenty bucks. Teacher said Exactly, you are of great value no matter what the world has done to you
Oh Wow Sooooo Sorry 😞 this Happened to you ;( 😢 I hope your NO Longer a Mormon ?? My Best Advice is to FORGET about this & Enjoy your Life & Look Into the Future ;) Whoever did this to You Will get their Karma or Maybe Already Have !!! Sending Healing 🙏 Prayers
I was best friends with a Mormon girl in third grade. She told me her Mormon grandpa was feeling her up in the swimming pool when all she had on was a bathing suit. Churches can teach all they want but it it’s usually directed to girls and young people, not adults who should know better.
I am sorry for the trauma you went through 😢 I can totally understand. I hope you are able to heal from the emotional, mental and spiritual trauma you went through. I am not asking you to forgive anyone except yourself as you are the only one worthy of forgiveness in this situation. God bless you in your recovery 🙏
I had the "dog poop brownie" lesson! They gave us brownies, asked us how good they tasted, then asked how much dog poop was an acceptable amount to have in the brownies. God can make them whole, blah blah blah. I ended up being SA'ed and made to repent for it because I could have removed myself from that situation and said no more firmly. I always tried so hard to listen to the spirit and do what I thought Heavenly Father wanted me to do, but I always felt like I wasn't good enough or that I didn't have enough faith. I felt like I was still "tainted" no matter what I did or how I tried to think about it. That feeling isn't worth the "joy" I got believing I'd go to heaven with my loved ones
Heard about that one. To the women this got indoctrinated to, they became obsessed to believe to marry/ seal to rank in the priesthood over regular priesthood holders, believing that marrying rank was more power or closer to God, whereas a regular priesthood holder was more Teresterial or lesser. Seen a ton crazy bizarre spin offs with how this 'lesson' was embellished.
A few of my sister's got the talk that they were lucky to be in the church above all other women in the world because their eternity would be in polygamy. That sort thing destroyed their agency or to have any hope in life with liberty.
I got the guppy analogy. Boys are like guppies. They just won screw and have no feelings. They can’t help it. They are like fish. Dad, I replied, my dearest boyfriend loves me and is not. A a guppy. He’s a warm, blooded human with an excellent brain and emotions and a poet and musician.
@@nono7105 My ex taught our kids about "chewed gum" and then "chewed their gum" manually for 3 years. Managed to get away with and still hides behind the church while I was repeatedly told "sisters don't do that." So my family is destroyed in spite of what I did to correct the situation and somehow I'm the responsible party because of my "priesthood authority." As long as the church continues to ignore the plague it has within its walls you can have it back and no BS copout about the church is a "hospital for the sick" or whatever metaphor makes you feel better about yourself will ever change my mind.
I grew up non-denominational Christian and I remember the youth pastor saying "why would a guy buy a cow when he can get the milk for free". My young, impressionable, self who had already been raped was crushed. My adult self understands that it was complete BS but man, I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that it didn't make me less worthy.
I had the same experience. And p.s not one of my virgin friends enjoyed their wedding night. They spent so much energy being pure that it felt wrong, was painful and she often ends up crying in the bathroom. My best friend was sure her wedding night was going to be "amazing "..I didn't have the heart to tell her. Religious men are taught that they deserve a "pure" bride. No interest in how the experience will be for her .because that would be like talking about sex, you can't do that because it may be stimulating. It's all just crazy. Our pastor claimed to be able to look at a bride coming down the aisle and know if she "ruined her husband's gift".
@@carolwilliams5337 If a man is that shallow then I don't want him in my life anyways. I'm happily married now to a Christian man who loves me for me but if I had chosen to sleep with someone before him and he wasn't interested in me because of that then that would be his loss. Stop telling women their value is equal to their purity. It is complete BS.
I joined the church when I was 19 and shortly after the YW President asked me to sit in on a lesson in YW...which turned out to be the cupcake lesson. Only they described it as if you have sex before you get married (or engage in any sexual activity, not just intercourse), you were a 'licked cupcake', and 'no one wants a cupcake someone else licked first.' I was a convert who had broken up with my long-time boyfriend to join the church, so when I heard that lesson, I was *devastated*. It really made me super critical of myself and I genuinely believed that no self-respecting priesthood holder would want to marry me, and if he did, it was because he was settling. It absolutely was a major reason why I ended up marrying a narcissist.
I hate those lessons. The chewed gum is what I was taught. And I told my YW leader, you can repent, but you can't un-chew a stick of gum. She replied, exactly. Big red flag.
Not Mormon but we got taught that in youth group but with a rose. They had all the girls together in one room and the woman speaking to us held up a rose. She stood there and said, "Hold hands with a boy." Ripped a petal off. "Kiss a boy." Ripped a petal off. "Are alone with a boy." Ripped a petal off. "Sleep with a boy." Ripped entire rose head off. Never made any exception for SA. She told us no decent guy would want to marry us if we weren't virgins. We even got told how jealous our future husbands would be if we kissed anyone before our wedding day. None of the guys I have dated have cared at all about my past kiss count and I haven't cared about theirs either. My current boyfriend and I are planning on getting married and back when we first started dating we were talking about our sexual expectations for dating and he said he would be happy to wait until marriage with me, "As long as I can still kiss you." Those people at church lied to me. My boyfriend doesn't think I'm worthless because I kissed other guys before I met him. I don't understand why they teach such blatant, awful lies to young people at church.
How this brings back so many painful memories. As someone who was attacked at 12, i felt so bad during these lessons. Because it was my fault i was the one in the wrong. It took me 20 years to come to terms it was not my fault. It was his. It was also the adults in my life who didn't protect me. At 18, we left the "church". It has been 21 years since we left. And even now those brainwashed lessons try to control me.
@@skindo14Oh that's why nuns, were virgins . And then it changed and the church accepted women who wernt virgins anymore . The church said God would except being second . Yeah the church shouldn't have changed .
The lesson we were given by the husband of our Young Women's teacher was this: "Boys only marry pure girls who are chaste. They fool around with and don't marry the unchaste girls. Which do you want to be?" Implying of course we all want to be "good" girls. And then the pointing of fingers began at a few girls, who were regular attendees of Sunday school as to the state of their virtue. Looking back I can understand why those girls stopped coming. And the parents of the good girl were just as intolerant.
@@lianav707 No one. In fact, we had two young men move into the ward and their mother made it be known that they would NOT be dating any of the girls in the ward. They could date anyone else, in the other wards. Just not us. Looking back 40 yrs, I wish I'd known the things about myself that I know know. I probably wouldn't have made the mistakes I did in my 20s because of the mind ender the church did on me.
Oh, gross. He said the quiet part out loud with that one. I remember seeing an old movie where the moral was this exact thing, and I was like, "wait? Why can he fool around, but the women he's fooling around with are not allowed to fool around??" And I was confused why my parents didn't say anything about it.
My young women’s teacher smashed a teacup and said it would be impossible to put all the little pieces back together. Little did she know that I had already “lost my virtue” and made me feel like I was broken forever and put it in my head that no one would want me anymore. Being young I had it in my head that I would no longer get married.
@@DiammonShop15 uh.. that's a bit hairbrained to state. When you're growing up you have your peers, their models, and their framework to model off of. When given a poor model and your expected to adhere to the model and it doesn't suffice for you to cope/ deal with it well and forcing expectation on a child, they get stuck in a loop with the poor model. It's common in the church that an older adult member gets too comfortable with the designed model given by their peers than to make it palatable for whom they are teaching, when that model gets too expected one is either only forcing that child through that model to adhere or believing in some odd self content selfishly without understanding the child's emotional welfare. Emotional ambivalence is not the child's/young adult's fault to experience, it comes back to the adult to understand or to revise the model and come with a better teaching perspective. It's also quite common that that teacher repeats the poor model like nearly beating it into one's concentration believing they are governing righteousness. It's a bit insane donchya think?
@@DiammonShop15 I agree with you. Jesus taught to forgive. He forgave a harlot, and she sinned no more. Everyone deserve love at all ages. Plenty of women at 40 who get married happens all the time even up to 65 and 80. I wish they let the world know this more. There is always someone for everyone ❤
After a careless comment like that, some girls who have been victimized by SA move into prostitution, porn etc, because they think they are now disposable women. It's heinous.
WHAT. I was taught sex ed. at my church in Texas, replete with banana. Then later at school. It was all basic facts. With That abstinence policy they imposed was bad enough - noone tried to violate any of us like this.
Got the candy bar lesson when I was in high school. I'm not saying guys didn't get the talk too, but it always seemed that guys were given grace for being physical creatures. Girls were taught that they were the weaker vessel but also that they were the sex gatekeepers, which implies that we are stronger than men... the math never mathed.
@Julie Woolley yeah, it was always extremely hypocritical that they taught submission and that women are weaker but somehow we have all the power when it comes to sex. Just an excuse for men to have no self discipline and avoid culpability in the eyes of other church members 🤮🤮🤮
I hated these lessons! Cause if something happened to you outside or your control or cause you are a teenager, it teaches you that you are worthless and shouldn’t try even when you mess up. It was a scare tactic. And those don’t work forever
I’m from Brazil and my husband’s family is in Utah, one thing I ABSOLUTELY will teach my kids is to NOT set their self value according to other people’s “acceptance” of who they are. Life experience taught me there are more dirty people inside any church (specially mormons and christians) than on the streets 🤷♀️🤷♀️ I love Utah but seeing people being judged from so little, and watching “good pure girls” getting away with things because they’re someone’s important daughter 🫠
Grew up in a Christian church. Pastor did the same thing however he had a $100 bill and he didn't take a bite out of it. He put that $100 bill through literal sh!t. And at the end everybody could agree it's still worth a $100. God-made you in his image, he loves you regardless and just wants to have a relationship with you. It's so sad that this girl was taught that her value diminishes based on what humans think.
I married into a Mormon family. My husband was inactive in the church (but much of his family was active) but we decided to hear them out. They lost me when they explained they would become gods and have spirit babies. That sounded so sacrilegious to me and also ridiculous. That’s when I went from open minded about it to completely turned off from it. Even my husband who grew up in the church was shocked by some of the details. So not only did they lose me, but they also lost my husband who had one foot in and one foot out.
To believe a person can never become a God, means one of 2 things: 1. God doesn't know how to do this (its impossible for Him) or 2. God could do this for his child, but he forever wants something less for his children than He has himself. So, which is it? He can't or He won't? I don't believe in either one of your limitations you place on Him.
I once saw what was the antithesis of this lesson (we had lollipops and chewing gum) online. The guy had a 100$ bill and said "who wants this?" He stomped on it and asked again. He crumpled it. Etc etc. Then at the end of it all asked who still wanted it and everyone's hand was still up. He then said it eas because regardless of what it went through or what had been done to it, it never lost its value. I wish that were the lesson I got.
My middle school sex-ed class was taught by a local pastor. During one lesson on abstinence and purity, he had a live goldfish which he took out of it's bowl and placed on a barstool at the front of the class while he explained some metaphor. I don't remember what the lesson was supposed to be, but I vividly remember watching a helpless animal try to breathe while pastor brian listened to his own voice. This was after he'd already compared a bunch of 13 year old girls to a dirty pieces of tape. The year was (I believe) 2001. Edit to add: this was a public school in Oklahoma.
Some guys want purity in a woman and a lot of guys don't care as long as they love the woman! If the guy is no longer pure then he should not care if the woman is or not!!!
I agree totally! It depends on the person & how they treat u, how that person makes u feel & their behavior...regardless of whether they slept around a bit. They just don't want sum1 who acts like a slut & will continue being promiscuous once in a relationship! That's just wrong! Some men actually like that you have experience in that area, then chose to be with them faithfully & treat them well, with respect & behave appropriately! It don't matter if u have slept around a bit when u wer single, as long as u ONLY did that kinda sh*t when u wer single!!! But that doesn't necessarily mean u act like a slut! If some1 wants a virgin wife, to me they should b that way too, or ur being a hypocrite.
No one is IMPURE because they had sex. It's what the parts are for, anyway. Married couples have sex all the time which just proves lots of use doesn't damage the equipment. Stop equating virginity with purity! It's sickeningly biblical.
@@ambrr_lily it's not about the equipment!!! It's about how it changes a person emotionally mentally and spiritually!!!! Lots of people want to be the first one to check something out that they want to get or obtain. Most virgins do not want to have somebody else's sex organs that may be contaminated or defiled by somebody else touching theirs!!!! A virgin that has saved themselves for marriage may not want to marry somebody who has been tried out and test driven buy a whole bunch of other people. Some people don't care and some do. God's plan is for everybody to have sex with only one person throughout their whole so that they will never know if it is good or bad sex, they've had nothing to compare it to. If a virgin marry somebody who's had multiple sex partners then the person with the more sex experience is more likely to cheat on their spouse!!!!!
Its not about caring or not caring. Men naturally want to know for certain that their children will be from their seed, so historically, the best way to do that was to marry a virgin. So females with a low body count are considered valuable to men by nature. Also, if a female has a high body count, its indicative that she will divorce or cheat, which again, goes back to the nature of wanting to make sure your offspring are yours.
I had the gift lesson. Beautifully wrap gift passed it around to the boys and they all opened it a little bit. Then got it back and then we where told now you want to give it to the one you really love. But it was all torn up now......
I got the (gum) version of this story. In essence: we start off pure as a piece of unchewed gum in a shiny wrapper. If we decided to do anything sexual before marriage, we became a chew up piece of gum. No one wants already chewed gum, therefore you become worthless unless you remain pure. No wonder I’ve been in therapy for 6 years. (There are a slue of traumas I’m working through, but, you get the point,) This type of rhetoric from the church is so damaging.
@@Mike-le6ed I’m not sure what you mean…could you elaborate what you mean by “behavior”? In this context, your comment has me a little confused. I’ll try to answer what I think you’re asking. In my opinion, the rhetoric was fueled by the harmful doctrine/teachings in the denomination I grew up in. It lead to a lot of fear, guilt, and shame. I don’t believe in a God that’s fear based anymore. My higher power-(that I’ve chosen to believe in as an adult) is loving, tolerant, kind, compassionate, forgiving, and understanding.
@@AmandaAmanda28 All of the abrahamic religions sexually objectify women, and blame male promiscuity on the behavior of females... the comment stands as written.
@@AmandaAmanda28 the true Scotsman called ... he wants his fallacy back. Christianity absolutely **IS** an abrahamic religion. And it does not treat men and women equally on points of sexual "sin" ... witnesses the story of "the woman taken in adultry" ... it says she was taken in the very act ... meaning with her sex partner ... yet the man was not brought before Jesus. Interesting don't you think. 🤔 PS. In real life there are only 2 sins ... treating people like objects, and wasting food.
@@AmandaAmanda28 the Bible says stone women if they are not virgins on their wedding night, but there is no parallel requirement for men. It also forbids women to preach or hold positions of authority in the church ... if you are looking for a document that holds men and women equally accountable and gives them equal opportunities the Bible is clearly not it.
@@AmandaAmanda28 the verses you cite are for people that are discovered while having consensual extra marital sex (it still leaves open the question of why only the woman was brought to Jesus tho, and the man was not judged) ... but in versus 20-21 of Deuteronomy 22 you can read how women who are not virgins on their wedding night (meaning they had sex secretly but were not caught at the time) are to be stoned ... note that no effort is to be made to find her past lovers for punishment ... so if a man had sex before marriage and got away with it he is just fine on his wedding night. In the Bible only women are at risk of death based on their sexual history... men are not at risk unless caught in the act. This is not equal treatment, and it objectifies women. Just own it... the Bible is a sexist book, and depicts a God that mandates sexism. The thing is ancient, so of course it's sexist. Why refuse to acknowledge this when it's so obvious?
Ladies ladies you're both pretty. Can't we just agree that objectification is just a big nono for today's standards no matter who does, it despite their religious background or beliefs. Note atheists also can be like that, it's just a different idea to them then the bible says. It's just important to learn and make sure people do not take the lesson the video mentioned should not become the norm. But a thing of thr past. Something to learn from, but never truly forgotten. (as in to not be like that as people in the past. Not as in taking the lesson seriously)
I heard this example with a rose that got passed around. Idk if you’ve ever seen the video where the guy says all he could think was “Jesus want the rose”
I'm LDS Mormon. I was raped by a RoTc officer in Kingsville Texas. At 19 Virgin I was so broken. I felt no value. I stop speaking throwing myself to work. I have ptsd but the LDS church in corpus gave me help. Entering at 28 looking for medical help for my ptsd because I couldn't find doctors I could afford. My sisters are so real so awesome.
When 1 out of 4, possibly 1 of 3, of young women have been sexually abused, they have no idea how destructive this message is. Never talked about that reality, only choosing to staying a virgin. Never talked about what happens if that choice has been taken from you.
It's amazing how many firmly deny that abuse is widespread and common... not because they want to HELP VICTIMS... But because they want abuse still HIDDEN, EXCUSED, IGNORED. Abuse rates are even higher in religious households. Not a surprise.
@@mendellipsker2292 abuse rates are *NOT* "in the eye of the beholder". The value, potential, capabilities and contributions of other people is NOT determined by the arbitrary abuse forced on victims by CRIMINALS. A bigot likes to think the ONLY value of children, women & abuse victims is SELLING S*X. Which simply reveals the bigot. Exploitation, trafficking and r*pe are COMMON, especially in sanctimonious, bigoted, arrogant, entitled, macho households and cultures that silence, gaslight, erase, deny... But ultimately change nothing. Denial is a tool used to prop up ABUSERS. Bigots/exploiters/abusers do not see children or women as EQUAL PEOPLE to themselves. They like to IMAGINE themselves somehow "superior", at all times, when they contribute nothing but sloth, greed, violence and selfishness. Bigots love to pretend "gawd sez so" in order to prop themselves up - instead of actually contributing. Abusers and bigots pretend that the world "owes" them endless wish fulfillment simply for the "gift" of them existing. The fact that abusers FLATLY REFUSE to consider or discuss widespread abuse, exploitation, trafficking and harm simply proves WHAT THEY ARE. They are tattling on themselves. Abusers have a choice, their victims do not. Choosing to maliciously, deliberately harm others or excuse harm, is a repulsive, revealing choice.
In my early childhood. We didn't lock our doors to our house. We could leave our shopping in our unlocked cars. We were taught morals, manners and respect in school sometimes with a paddle. Divorce was rare. Boy, those days are gone, Buy a gun and hide your property from your spouse today. You can't trust anyone any more.
How sad. I grew up that way too. Came to find out later that 98% of time they did lock the door and bring in the groceries. But, that's how a child sees things.
@@rbinsurance4654well, shitty people HAVE VEHICLES (stolen or not) so you can be a victim of criminals no matter where you live! And people with brains have ALWAYS known they need to be careful!
That’s sad that it was portrayed as defiling yourself. We also used the cake analogy in my Christian church, but it was that people took pieces of it away and you can’t get those pieces back. It was more to show that you give pieces of your heart to people and have their fingerprints imprinted on your memory, as it were, forever. But we were also told that it was a flawed analogy because obviously God can make you whole again. It was NEVER that you are a dirty impure person. It was saying “don’t just give parts of yourself to everyone”.
Ours was they would have heart shaped paper and kept tearing a piece away for every guy a girl sleeps with and what’s left is a small piece of paper to give her husband. I always thought that was so stupid because clearly those people hadn’t realized how often pieces get stolen.
It's a crap lesson for both women and men. I get that's it's a nice thing to want, but it's an unreasonable expectation with no exceptions for real life. Value your self worth.. yes. Value a person who knows your self worth... Yes. But this message puts unessesary shame in there if your not "perfect"
You're not ruined because you've had sexx, sexx is totally normal. I don't care how many people my husband slept with before we were married, why would I care? He's with me, not them. You do you. A good woman won't judge you on your past.
What’s really sad is that promiscuity can sometimes be a result of sexual abuse. 🥺 Which means they’re further shaming those that have already been through trauma.
@@TheDukeofDavid Listen James, sorry that every woman who was promiscuous that you’ve been with was a “horrible selfish person”, but let’s not put labels on everyone.
I think either way this a very good lesson for both men and women. I see in the comments people saying “what happened in the past doesn’t define you”. Yes, to someone who has never heard the gospel and came to be a believer later in life and even then it still part of your testimony and who you are. Those who have heard the message then rack up triple digit body counts lying about it to their future partner still thinking they deserve a pure person or even someone who has made mistakes but tried to remain pure with a body count below double digits. Then playing the victim, making up excuses, blaming others on why your relationships don’t last 🤔
I like that teacher! I would have wanted her to teach my children! I would have even loved to have her for my teacher growing up! She’s great! Tells the truth without sugarcoating it!
I would agree with that. Growing up east, my catholic friends got a bit messed up with how much 'original sin' was overplayed and making women's libido a curse of Eve. Mormonism growing up they had to of course compete with the idea to appear more spiritually authoritative. Love how egotistical idiots keep messing up generations with one dumb idea/ hysteria at a time.
Not outside the US... in Italy at the pre-marital class most couples were already living together, my husband and I were already married just not in the Church, the priest knew, and all he said was something like "I acknowledge this, but I'm just glad you are all here now"
I grew up w/ that mentality too. Then come to find out no guys ever wanted anything to do w/ me because I was a virgin. They said they did want me to “get all crazy”. Most men now a days don’t value any of that.
We did the same thing in my school except we were taught the abstinence/purity lesson by the teacher making us stick a tape to our arm then we would pass the piece to the opposite sex. This one tape was passed around the entire gym class with the girl with the hairiest arm picked to go first just to prove their point further. The tape got less and less sticky until it couldn’t even stick to your skin anymore.The lesson was “the more you ‘do it’ the less desirable you will be and no one will want you because you’re used up.” I definitely was too young to be head that kind of message about myself.
I guess you've never seen a Mediterranean hootchie. The hairiest thing I've ever seen. The reason behind the bidet. Some guys like a bearded clam. Others don't. Peace
I remember getting the toothpaste out of the tube lecture: you can never get every bit back in, no matter how hard you try. Even if it looks right, well, you know, it's not. That was at 13. At 16 I lost my virginity- the very last of all my friends to do so- and never felt bad about it. And I'm not sorry I didn't wait, because I'd still be waiting lol. If I had kept that mindset, I would have def married, and early, and badly. Not marrying is not the worst thing that can happen to someone. Even a female.
Let's see how you feel about life in 20 years. Sex is so easy. Finding a mate for life and raising a healthy, happy family, is the most rewarding life a person can have. Maybe you won't miss it. Having a next generation that you adore and that adores you back, because you were UNselfish the entire time raising them. It's a harder road to follow, when you're young, and crave sex. I'm a childless, 60-year-old man, and nieces and nephews ain't the same. They're family, but I didn't raise 'em. They like me, because I'm a nice guy, and my bachelor life has given me the luxury of vast experiences and formal learning having a family would have denied me, so I'm interesting to them, but I ain't their dad.
This little clip seems to ignore that you can find plenty of happiness without purity. But she's absolutely right in making her point in a world that seems to be actively trying to forget how true it is.
Not that easy when you are several generation deep born into these type of religions. I was born a JW we were basically the same as Mormons in many ways only a few differences easily but in many of the core beliefs, the way females were taught to be and feel about themselves and the west males were pretty much given an excuse and so many other things it is so very similar. (I am very good friends with someone who was Mormon and having both left our respective religions we were about to trade notes. It is insane how each religion claims to be the one true religion the only true religion but they are all slightly altered versions of the same thing. They are all destructive too! )
Sadly those that are given just one pattern to think a certain way, just know only that. To know anything else to someone in a bubble like that, is like to accept something theoritical. Reality is really hard balled in LDS culture, it should almost be a protection provision within humanity against it's misdirect and abuse.
@@elibella5660 some days, just wish I could live on a different planet with a more civilized species. Correcting or sperating the empowered idiots in our species is tedious and wretchedly annoying.
That teacher taught a valuable lesson……God will ever accept the repentant sinner and that is great for all of us since “All men sin and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3:23…..in the world, however, no self-respecting man wants a woman who has been run through 50 different guys….and no self-respecting woman should want a man who has had a bunch of women….I can’t imagine why this would even be controversial
Great lesson, think of all the babies who would live, and not be murdered and sacrificed , think about all the young girls hearts not being broken, think About actually learning about who you are and what you really want first before being put in a situation where u feel pressured to put out. Think about how precious you are and how much value your virginity holds to your future husband. Yeah, it's not just about having sex, it's about a multitude of things. It's about making the right choice, sharing your body with a person who will care for it and not harm it, in sickness and in health. Think long term.
Ours was a piece of gum. Same idea as you described. Only told to the girls because we were talked to separately while they played basketball in the gym and had a casual talk about purity. 🤮🤮🤮
Yes, chewed gum is the one I heard, but not directly from any teachers thank goodness. It was just a common way of thinking. I thought I would never be able to get married and have children. Not because I had ever had sex - I hadn’t. Rather because I was instinctively disgusted by that way of thinking, and I hadn’t met any guys who didn’t buy in to it to some degree, and of course I could never give the time of day let alone my heart to a misogynist. Fortunately I escaped that red state small town and found a wonderful real man more than 20 years ago.
I was taught such a similar situation. I’m sorry you went through that. What’s crazy is when I was in college the guy I was seeing and I and oral sex. Then I found I’m out he was sleeping with not only my best friend but several other girls I was devastated. I had gone to talk to the bishop and was told “that’s what you get when you act like that” and that I only had myself to blame for my heartache. I was to not take sacrament for months in a college ward of 25 people. Meanwhile this man, who not only the bishop was fully aware of what he had done, but so was the stake president, had left two weeks later for Asia and served a full mission. I wish I could tell you the was the only story like this I had regarding chastity and the church but to be honest despite it all, now that I’ve left the church, I don’t fear what I did for so long.
Wait, so a man’s value goes up, the more women he can attract, but a woman’s value goes down, the more men she attracts? So a woman is her most valuable as a virgin, and should try to preserve her value as she ages, while a man is near valueless until he earns his value through trial and error, and growing? I guess thats why successful men at 40 are dating 20 year old females.
I told my kids - everything you do comes with a reward or a consequence. It's my job to teach you to make good choices, not to choose for you. The old TV show " cops " was a great teaching tool for showing the kids things to look out for and the potential consequences of bad choices.
👂🥇we teach the kids do a mentor and then there's a hook on a make-believe bathroom and that hook it has a towel and that towel that everybody wipes their face or hands and body body parts, and we call that towel Lucy"a female that is loose and gives it to anyone. And the same bathroom does a shelf and is a nice folded towel smelling beautiful like Downey once it comes out of the dryer! That's the one you want to wait for process to give you want to give 🥺
@@Full8Throttle mental damage, scare that if something happens, I wouldn't be worthy of someone loving me. If I had a boyfriend I always thought this would be good or bad, a lot of mental pressure and unnecessary regrets.
I like the one we’re the teacher said the world can be a dark place and we’re all responsible for the choices we make so don’t be a victim be responsible for your actions and do your best
My religion teacher in middle school tried to do that but it backfired. My class was full of dumb kids who just wanted sweets so there was no way for him to persuade us to NOT WANTING free food as creepy as it was.
It's about being faithful to that person you are going to be with forever. Just because they are in your future doesn't mean they don't deserve your faithfulness.
I know that analogy and think it is nasty for several reasons. 1st of all self-determined and non cheating sex is not dirty but can be great. 2nd I don't possess my partner - specially not her past. 3rd if it was a mistake I am not the one to judge
Very few people want a person that has been run through, loaded down with children from other relationships and traumatized by the past that they chose. The teacher was right.
If this is what Men want this is what they should be prepared to give, in other words if you don't want a Woman who has slept around as a Girlfriend/Wife don't have the audacity to expect any decent Woman with a low body count to want you having slept around with anything remotely female, having caught, given and passed on multiple STI's - Women don't want multiple used either!!!
Yeah, on one side of the line of demarcation, it's just lust, second to murder, guaranteed to destroy you, etc. On the other side of the line, it's eternal love, necessary for exaltation, best thing you can ever do, etc., etc. And what is the line? It's a ceremony / ritual and some paper work . . . that's the purported difference. That's all, that's it.
No but it's a super special ritual done with the really special patriarchal grip/secret handshake and some mumbled words about principalities and the first resurrection or something. That means god approves the sex now! He's always watching you know, making sure any sex you have is approved first, otherwise you go on the naughty list right next to the murderers.
With a cup cake, that's true. But even someone Pamela Anderson. Who wants this? I bet the whole class would love to have it, still. With people it's not as drastically as an expendable cupcake.
Today, if a religious figure gave me a cupcake with dirt on it to illustrate my loss of chastity, I’d take it and say it is a metaphor for the person’s dirty personality.
At first my husband didn't believe me when I told him about the "licked cupcake" lesson in Sunday School. (My teacher didn't eat the cupcake, she licked all the icing off 😳) But he's not a Mormon, so he found the chastity lesson absurd and hilarious. He still calls me his licked cupcake sometimes.
And he forgot to tell her that she could be condemned to bad sex or fear of not feeling wanted. A woman said once "I got married all cast and virtue, and where did it take me? My husband cheated on me and left me for someone who had lots of experience in that department, do go enjoy learn and love your body wisely".
Pagans: "Do you love yourself?" Me: "yes" Pagans: "do you want to be loved by others?" Me: "yes" Pagans: "good! Then do this: love yourself, trust your instincts, and know that love will support you- give you challenges - and will remind you who you are... If someone in your life doesn't do ALL OF THESE... Gtfo of the relationship." Me: "okay!".... I have been a pagan for over 25 years... And have NEVER felt any doctrine try to turn me into an object unless it was a monotheistic path... The Cosmic Mind (God, Jesus, Buddha, Sky Father/Earth Mother, etc ) will NEVER feel the need to objectify ANY human being... It makes no sense that that kind of Thought used to create would ultimately turn around and destroy the fire that drives the core of the Spirit. Think of it this way: Modern dogma says: "we are made in His image", right? So, taking the fact that 'His Image' has many facets, flaws, nuances, quirks, cracks, and a tiny wrinkle or two... Imperfections. Destroying these 'images' would be breaking the mirror, shattering the reflection. And enlightened beings are ALWAYS reflecting in on themselves, looking beyond the surface... To that end... The Cosmic Mind cannot (effectively) turn humans into objects or It would be doing the same to Itself... And pointing a finger of destruction towards humanity... Is- by semantics - committing suicide. Which, by the monotheistic paths, is considered a "sin". So! Does the Cosmic Mind care what gender you are? No. Colour? No. Intelligence? No.... What does It care about? You'll find out when you get there. Blessings 💟
This lesson is a basic truth about personal decisions. It is not brutal or terrifying, but it is true. If your virtue was stolen, then God does offer healing and cleansing. God does offer second chances. But if you defy God's rules and choose time after time to oppose His will, it could become harder to find a partner that could please you. You are programming your mind to be incompatible with anyone who is a valuable partner.
