I WATCHED **THE HALF OF IT** FOR THE FIRST TIME 

this is NOT a free way to watch the movie, i highly recommend you to watch the movie on its own on netflix before watching this video to have more context on the scenes i talk about. As well as for the end review since i discuss scenes i didnt include in the video.

“I appreciate bikes in gay cinema” I strangely understand

when I realized they called her chu Chu because her last name is Chu and because she works at the train station I had a full on reset

You missed the best part of the movie when his mom says it's okay if he's gay and he says he wants to change the sausage recipe and then she gets mad

I really liked this movie. At the beginning they say "it's not a love story" and it wasn't. They talked about soulmates and I think that Ellies Soulmate was her friend Paul and not Aster. They weren't soulmates in a romantic way, but in a platonic way. I also really enjoyed how they grew in this story and how Ellie and Paul brought out the best in each other. I'm not mad or sad that the movie ended that way, it was fitting (and a parallel to how Ellie hated the chasing-after-train-scene and then got one herself; sorry I'm a sucker for parallels). This movie wasn't about love it was about finding friendship and your voice/yourself.

When Aster went to slap Paul she looked straight ahead at Ellie while walking towards him, slapping him, and walking away, just like how when she was sending letters to paul, Ellie was the one who read them. That's like the most metaphorical slap I've ever seen on TV lmaoo.

no-one: trin: brings up glee references in everything somehow

I don't think he was trying to hurt her when he said "you're going to hell" to get back at her or sth. I think that they wanted to potray how he is so simple and naive and franky stupid that he believes word for word everything his church/family says. I think he genuinely believes in that moment that his friend is damned and is shocked and terrified for her and yet some part of him even in that moment isn't quite convinced. He is torn between what his heart feels and what the world has been teaching him his whole life. Thankfully by the end of the movie he makes up his own mind and stops acting like a sheep.

At the end I think this movie isn't a love story, it's about the friendship. The director talked about how this movie was born because of distancing from her best friend. The love story is just a sub plot.

I was surprised to see that a lot of people didn't get the scene where Aster goes to Paul after dropping off Ellie. I know it seemed awkward but the awkwardness is actually what made me understand it. Aster is conflicted and scared, she just felt something deep and honest with Ellie that made her question herself and her beliefs and it was unnerving. The only other person she thinks she has ever felt that way with is Paul (how she says he write things that make her feel unsafe) so she goes to him almost in a sense of desperation, to find some grounding, something that feels like it should be the right path but it's off cus neither of them are on the same page. Aster's confused and Paul is completely in the dark, he has no idea what she actually needs cus he doesn't really know her and he has no idea who she thinks he even really is. The God question was sort of like a test and I don't think Aster knew what answer she wanted but the answer Paul gave was the standard safe, answer and I think in that moment Aster realised that that wasn't the answer she wanted and she probably flashed right back to her convo with Ellie and how easy it was for her to express her anxieties to Ellie in contrast to how supposedly "safe" and "right" but incredibly awkward the interaction she's having with Paul is, so she kisses him in an attempt to just make herself feel something and stick to the status quo and ignore her confused feelings. It seems like she's fine but it's uncomfortable and tense for Aster, for Paul and for the audience because sometimes growing up and figuring out who you are is uncomfortable and intense and awkward.

"I just feel like bikes are a crucial part of LGBT-Cinema" Me, a lesbian who can't ride bikes: *sadly gulps*

"love is messy and horrible and selfish... And bold" Favorite quote from that movie!

“I like that girl she smells like fresh ground flour.” Trin: W H E A T

I liked where the story went, but I went into it with the understanding that it would develop the friendship between Ellie and Paul rather than be a love story and I think that made a big difference! I also appreciated the ending more after reading an interview with Alice Wu: Wu talks about how people expected there to be a couple at the end, and that a lot of viewers were disappointed with where the story went instead, but she talked about how you want the ending to be what's best for the character because you care about them. So for Ellie or Paul or Aster to end up together in this conservative town; is that really their happy ending? Maybe the happier thing is that Ellie goes somewhere to pursue an education that she wants to do, when she's always been too afraid to leave her Dad. Maybe for Paul, it's that his family is listening to his ideas for sausages now. Maybe for Aster it's going to art school and making that decision for herself when she's always tried to be a preacher's daughter that stayed in the town and was religious and married young, etc. We don't know what would happen if Ellie and Aster or Aster and Paul or Ellie and Paul got together, maybe they'd break up, etc. After reading that interview I appreciated the ending a lot more :)

One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when Emily’s dad has that moment with Paul, and he can’t speak English well. But Paul just stands there and listens to him, and it was just so sweet and I love his movie so much.

Everyone's so pissed at Aster lmao, but I kind of understand her. She's in a small religious town that she can't get out of, where the most that you'll get after highschool is maybe a good husband and some kids. She was super unhappy in her relationship (cause it seemed to be arranged, the guy didn't even like her) and she even asks Ellie if she should accept if her boyfriend proposes. She's just realizing that maybe she should settle because it's the best that she'll get. As much as cheating is horrible and unexcusable, in a town like that you can't just get out of the closet. Idk, she was not my favorite character at all but I did like appreciate her. Also, the "you're going to hell" scene broke my heart into pieces, but Paul doesn't seem to be mad at her or trying to insult her. He seems scared, like genuinely scared that Ellie will go to hell because he cares so much about her. As much as I cried, it was cute that he investigated about it and then stood up for her. He was my favorite character, like super sweet and honestly kinda funny. I loved Paul.

when trin moved around posing, verbalizing her confusion: I felt that

This should’ve been titled ‘trin Lovell fangirling over gay Asian girls for 27 minutes straight’

“this movies a little bit artsy fartsy for my taste” and that’s how sue..... sees it.

Trin at the end of movie: "I thought this was going to be a love story" Narration at beginning of movie: "Oh, and in case you where wondering, this isn't a love story"

The fact that Paul acknowledged that people can have different sexual orientations and it’s a valid form of love and also that he can love Ellie platonically and that’s also a valid form of love in a single himbo comment. His two brain cells are putting in *work*.

the part where he says “you’re going to hell” made my heart sink.

the B in LGBT+ stands for Bike

i think that Aster was comparing him and her when she asked if he believed in God, thats also why she looked so disappointed when he didnt say anything special about her flower painting edit:spelling 👁️👄👁️

“i love her voice” i thought i was the only one who fell in love with leah lewis’s voice 😂💕

The I like your nails comment is code for "I'm gay are you?" change my mind

*I just realized Aster cheated on her boyfriend with both Paul and Ellie lmao*

You went through every level of grief when we found out he’s homophobic 😂

no one: me and trini: *LESBIAN RIGHTS*

"bikes are important in LGBT representation" *laughs in girls like girls*

“She smells wheaty” and *THAT’S* on yeast infections 🥰💕🧚‍♂️

the only f/m friendship that matters is between a shy sapphic and a straight himbo dont @ me

The dense jock with a heart of gold trope is the best trope ever change my mind

Ellie says at the beginning that it's not a love story. The main relationship in the film was Ellie and Paul's friendship and I really loved that. The only character I didn't like was Aster's boyfriend. His douchiness just felt so over the top. Like, "I get it, Ellie, you're in love with me." What??

I did not think the end was sad at all. I think it is one of the only satisfying conclusions to a story about high school kids discovering sex and sexuality and love. To grossly speed up the process of Astor discovering who she is by somehow getting her together with the lead in the end would be so much less realistic. Also, Ellie's goal in this story is to stick to the status quo, so the whole movie is her discovering she is capable of loving and capable of leaving her comfortability. It was the best thing that her big revelation would lead to her leaving the town in favor of carving out a new path with her newfound knowledge on friendships and love. The movie definitely had flaws but the ending scenes were definitely not part of them. Sorry rant not anticipated

I love Alice Wu's explanation of how everyone goes their own separate ways with a sense of content. That in itself is a happy ending. The time that they'll spend apart will allow them to grow as individuals and figure things out more and if/when life brings them together again, they can see what is to happen (especially ellie and aster with their past growing connection if they actually get together or not) which is what I really like

paul was the himbo i fell in love with during the movie and the paul being homophobic reveal was so impactful (and hurtful even) and i think alice wu says it perfectly: "This scene always breaks my heart. But it's also a major reason I made this movie. We spend the whole film falling in love with Paul, and then he breaks our heart. But I think that's life. Good people can still have attitudes that hurt us."

ellie: *doesnt believe in god* everyone: k ellie: girl pretty hehe paul: you’re going to hell 😡

i really liked this movie but i totally get your critiques of it. I agree that aster should have been developed more and that there was some filler but i think overall it was really well done and clearly like...showed a lot of care towards the story it was depicting.

the scene where Paul says “you’re going to hell” felt the most realistic and close to home in the movie for me. I know how nowadays movies are trying to be like “yea be gay no one cares!” but that’s really not the truth, and it hurts because i dont think he’s homophobic, i see it as he was simply taught to believe that it’s wrong his entire life, like Many people still believe to this day. Paul reacts to her being gay as if she has cancer, he’s saddened by it as if Ellie was sentenced to death and it breaks my heart, it’s the way that it feels like Ellie has hurt Him by existing and that’s just painful, like coming out to your homophobic family or friends, the way you’re not seen as family or friend anymore, but a nuisance. It’s too real.

“When u finally include the Chinese girl cause ur not being racist anymore” *hereditary music**

In an interview the girl who plays Aster actually explained that the reason why they had Aster kiss Paul like that was because she was conflicted and confused about her feelings, (after that talk with Ellie) so she wanted to kiss him to feel something, because he is the one that’s supposed to be sending the letters/texts. Great reaction by the way!

“You’re going to hell” really broke my heart. Oh man, I went from zero to full on ugly crying in 0.01sec

“god is like. a permanent best friend.” - trin lovell, 2020

The worst part of this movie is when the teacher calls Squahamish “Hellquamish” instead of “Squahellmish”

i think the point of the movie and the whole intro-story thing is to show that sometimes your soulmate or your other half isn't a love interest but instead just a friend you love :) im guessing that's why they didn't end up together

They said when Aster slapped Paul, it was meant for Ellie, which is why she was looking at Ellie the whole time while she slapped Paul...Aster wanted to hurt Ellie by hurting Paul (with the slap), because Ellie hurt Aster through Paul when they were kinda faking the whole thing...

When she said “ I don’t believe in God” and got a reply of “ must be so nice “ I felt that to my core

No one: Trin: remember that scene in Glee....

re: ellie and her dad, i think the nonverbal communication between them spoke louder than words and is very true to asian households in real life. this is my new favorite movie, personally-- there's something so special about a young adult movie that treats it audience with the respect they deserve, and is not afraid to subvert common tropes. i liked that you were so open-minded and appreciative of it even though you don't necessarily love it.

Paul’s Christian upbringing making him scared that ellie was going to go to hell for liking a girl was so tragic and made me cry

honestly, i felt like the ending made more sense given where the film was set. a traditional happy ending where the girls end up together wouldn't have made sense bc of their religious small town. i think if they had the traditional happy ending, they would have rushed it and wouldn't have developed enough into the dynamics between the people in their small town and the girls' relationship. i would've liked to have a scene between ellie and her dad about her sexuality though. thoi made it in my fav movies list because i relate to so many aspects of the film, it evoked various emotions, and it made me reflect on certain scenes, which i don't often do. but i can definitely see why someone wouldn't like it either.

Did it bother anyone else that Ellie’s glasses didn’t fog up during that hot spring scene?

I actually have so many thoughts about this movie, like there were like a lot of flaws with the movie and stuff I didn’t like about it, but I have to give major props to Netflix for giving the go-ahead for this movie, like Disney could never👁👄👁

My mom said "Paul is a golden retriever," and I think that is the perfect analogy. He's totally a dumbass but in the sweetest, most innocent and loyal way.

Trin: insults white boy in British accent Me: I love this song

Seeing Trin going through all those emotions when she found out Paul was homophobic was poetic. I don’t know what was more emotional the ending scene of CMBYN or that.

“Is there a perfect movie? Probably not” EXCUSE ME? This is blatant Shrek erasure 😤😤

I really like that after Paul freaked out about her being gay he still valued her enough to go off and find out more to accept it.... idk I just really like platonic love

the scene of him running alongside the train makes me tear up bc he looks like a dog running after it's owner.... it's so sweet

You should totally watch Saving Face. It's a gay romance with a main Asian cast also created by Alice Wu!

alice wu (director/writer of the film) actually said during her film commentary that she wrote paul's line "you're going to hell" not from a place of blatant homophobia but just as an outgrowth of his religious beliefs. he was definitely ignorant and completely taken aback by ellie being gay as he was afraid that his closest friend would go to hell, as dictated by the beliefs he and most characters in the film grew up around. i think the fact that aster's character was not fully fleshed out attested to the fact that she has yet to solidify her own perception of herself. she is still unsure about her spiritual beliefs, her sexual orientation and what she wants for her future. both paul and ellie see and appreciate aster from different perspectives, but ultimately ellie seems to know aster more than she knows herself and i think thats the message underpinning the movie; loving a person is discovering things about them not even they know about themselves and encouraging each other in the right direction.

The scene where Paul says that she's going to hell was like my least favorite scene but also was a super powerful scene Because from what I've seen of similar lines like that, usually the sentence is used as a threat of like oh your going to hell you should feel ashamed and blah blah blah But the way he says it in the scene (and the fact that he doesn't even look at her when he says it, he just stares at the ground looking so visibly upset) sounds more like a realization of something terrible that he doesn't want to happen because he loves her and she's his best friend Like that scene had me sobbing because ew gross no Paul that's disgusting don't say that but also theres this realization of something terrible that he doesn't want to happen to his best friend and just ughhh this movie is so amazing Oof sorry that was quite the rant

ok but i would like to take a moment to appreciate trin’s background like girl quarantine rlly did this to you and you gotta get more love for that

God is ur permanent BFF sounds like something our youth pastor would say

The same woman that directed this film, also directed a lesbian film with all asian leads called Saving Face, it’s amazing. Park Chan-wook directed my favorite film of all time, The Handmaiden, it’s Korean and sapphic. I mean, if you wanted some recommendations

The Hayley Kiyoko Cinematic Universe™ is why we have so many bikes in our gay movies

trin literally cannot look bad. sis serves looks non stop twenty four seven

me: :( Trin: "Sapphic Woman" me: :)

Trin: “They should have added in Ellie talking with her mom” …her mom is dead fam. Although her coming out to her dad would have been nice, I felt like Paul was a bit vague about everything when he sort of told him.

10:57 that girl was telling her she was gay and wanted to be friends

Paul: *be homophobic* Trin: *full-on mental breakdown questioning her whole existence for 2 mins straight*

i was honestly am confused about the scene where paul finds out ellie is a lesbian because i thought he knew in the scene where ellie asks paul why he likes aster & ellie just goes off about how she feels about aster & she goes “i was just talking” & paul was like “that’s what you say when you love someone” like-

If you want more lesbian films, Portrait of a Lady on Fire is so so great

In response to your response about the ending: I don’t necessarily think it’s a sad ending. It’s just realistic. I agree with that point. It would be way too unrealistic to have Aster completely be out, open and in a relationship with Ellie, When the entire movie she struggled with going against the status quo. She struggled with not doing the things people expected of her. She had her progress by going away to Art School, turning down the proposal, and being open to exploring her sexuality in the future. These are huge things for her. Also, Ellie! She was able to progress by going away to a school she never, ever considered. It so fucking hard to leave home and go away to school especially when her father appears to suffer with mental health issues. She also exposed herself and grew by singing onstage and kissing Aster at the end! I read an interview with the author before watching it. She mentioned that it was a story about her first heartbreak, which was a friendship. They told us from the beginning: this was not a love story and no one got what they wanted. So, I knew that going into it. I think it’s important to keep that in mind. This is too long lmao but I had ThoughtsTM.

i literally screamed when paul said “you’re going to hell” like WHAT?? WHERE DID THAT COME FROM???

I feel like he wasn’t homophobic but because of the church and what it says he was just confused and sad because his best friend/crush “will end up in hell”

I feel like a story like this should've been portrayed in a book, or at least a miniseries. Whatever they were trying to convey, to me, fell short. I don't understand anything about Aster's life: why is she being pressured into marriage with her bf at such a young age? Why is it encouraged by her parents? Why does she feel like she had to say yes at the end? I wish we could've seen more of Peter's homophobic side. You can't just blurt out "you're going to hell" after being a complete cinnamon roll the entire movie and then immediately go back to being a cinnamon roll and The End. Why did he even try to kiss Ellie? Why the hell did Aster slap Peter and NOT Ellie? Where is Peter and Aster's plot closure? It literally does not exist. Aster slaps him and that's it. The whole climax felt rushed and wrong. This could've been a great story. The characters are super cool, the actors are amazing, the cinematography is A+. I just needed it to be developed properly.

as a lesbian this movie made me so happy and i think it’s so so important that we’re getting representation 🥺

Lmao when Paul tries to kiss Ellie and she's just like woah is the most awkward scene ever in existence

i really liked this movie! of course it has its flaws but this is the first sapphic movie i've seen that hasn't exploited sapphic women for male attention. like the first lgbt i ever watched was blue is the warmest color and we all know how that was :/ even though ellie and aster didn't get together in the end, they still left on good terms and aster even said that she needed time away at college to figure out who she was

One of my favorite parts was when at the end and he was chasing her train and she called him a moron. It brought it back to when they were watching that romance movie with the guy chasing the train and she said he was a moron for chasing the train, and the girl in the train was a moron for crying. “Moron” calling herself a moron for crying, and Paul a moron for chasing the train. I found it so sweet and I just really love this movie

The protagonist in the film should do voice acting. I love her voice!

I am dying at the "just beating the meat with my dad" Omg I AM IN HYSTRICS

this was the best movie i have seen in a LONG time. it was so poetic and beautiful, and the reality of it really hit hard. my friend and i SOBBED throughout the end. it’s an incredible coming of age story. there was no extremes or over the top-ness. i get what you’re saying, but in the end, it wasn’t about aster, it was about ellie and paul. and it’s absolutely incredible.

trin: that's her brother also trin: no it's not 😂😂😂

trin getting out of breath while ranting is me

this is one of the first cyrano adaptations in a while that i feel like actually captured the vibes of the original play 🙌

I agree with a lot of the points at the end, and I definitely feel the same way about asters development in the movie but while it does feel kind of dissatisfying cuz she’s a big part of the movie but feels like she’s gotten little development I feel like it also makes a lot of sense. I think a big thing about aster throughout the movie is that SHE didn’t even know who she was or what she wanted. Most of her life was just playing a part, a role and she never really felt like she was being herself, just what people wanted her to be. She doesn’t really break from that until the very end of the movie. So while I wish she had gotten more development, I think the fact that they didn’t give her more was very fitting for her character, and, while I agree that it doesn’t seem like the type of movie to get a sequel unfortunately, if it does ever get a sequel I hope they show a lot more of her developing and finding herself after the fact.

Trin's eyeliner was distracting me. It's so bomb.

“she’s literally k k slider from new horizons” wait a minute you might be onto something lmao

Movie: "This is not your typical love story." *character walks in on what they misunderstand to be a kiss and then never hear out an explanation*

aster is actually one of my favourite love interests ever

4:55 the writer/director of this movie, Alice Wu, said that the nickname was the same one people bullied her with :(

also a fun easter egg about the movie alice wu said that the art at the beginning of the movie during the interlude is the art that aster submits for her portfolio for art school

All the Animal Crossing references in this... Trin is this what you’ve been doing all quarantine

Paul was my favourite character tbh. The way he memorized his letter when Ellie read it for the first time, how he swept her up after she drank too much... He was just too cute 🥺 And he redeemed himself. That scene of Ellie's dad talking to him in Mandarin was beautiful.

16:02 "you're going to hell" Trin: *Explodes*

I cried during the whole thing. Deadass one of my fav movies. It represented young, confusing sapphic feelings SO perfectly. The bathroom mirror scene sticks with me a lot fsr. AND WHEN ASTER WEARS ONE OF ELLIE'S SHIRTS??

I'm half way through & this is my new favorite vid of urs. The gag at the homophobia is EVERYTHING! The closer they got he started to like her & confuse her friendship for feelings. Its repeatedly explained that its a small town, almost every1 goes to church, so the homophobia thing shouldn't catch u off guard but I can see how it does. Good movie, better reactions. So glad u posted this.