"I Would Rather D*E Than Ask My Baby Daddy For Help" 

Bruh... Folks love posting their dysfunction online. Use ABAPREACH4 to get 55% off your first month at Scentbird sbird.co/36n9yRY

“Sometimes a toxic mother is worse than an absent father.” ~Preach

As I've grown up, I've come to realize that having really solid parents was easily the most impactful privilege I've had. Way too many adults with kids out here not taking it seriously

Mother: *Physically abuses child* Father: *Defuses situation* Mother: "He's a POS"

Preach's death stare is entirely how i feel when she admitted to dragging her child across a floor and not taking a moment to comfort said child. Where the police and CPS when they are actually needed?

Being a single mom has become a badge of honor to the point where chicks would rather lie and deprive their children of a functioning healthy family than be good parents and admit they can’t do it all alone.

In other words: *“I’m a terrible parent because my pride & ego are more important to me than the safety of my child”🤦🏾‍♂️🤦🏾‍♂️*

She basically said “my child will suffer before I ever ask their father for help”. Putting pride before the health and wellness of your child.

She lost me when she says she knocked her daughter over and dragged her across the floor.

I just want to point out: growing up in a stable, 2 parent household is a big predictor for lifetime success. This girlboss "I can do it all on my own" shit is not good for kids.

Once I realized she was talking about having a knockdown drag out fight, literally dragging her daughter across the room, and the girl is 11…. I dropped the phone. If she’s being honest, talk about potential trauma inducing actions as a parent. Geez

There's a reason pride comes before fall. Pride can be an illusion of independence and competence. We all need support of others.

The fact that they’re laughing about her physically abusing her child is sickening

"I'd rather die than ask my baby daddy for help" So you'd rather put your child in extreme danger than ask your baby's father for help?

I wrote this many years ago. (Single mother of a 12yo boy, with sole custody.) My thoughts as a single mother, I see pictures on social media a lot saying, 'Proud Single Mom!' This really bothers me. I am not PROUD to be a single mother. I do not take PRIDE in the fact that my child has no relationship with his father or daily positive male role model. I am not PROUD of picking the wrong person to make a child with. Here are the things I AM proud of; I am proud that my beautiful son calls ME, mommy. I am proud that my God entrusted me with such a wonderful gift to honor, cherish, protect and above all, love. I am proud that I am able to take care of my son on my own and proud of myself for working hard and instilling good values, manners, morals and kindness into my child's every day life. I take pride in the fact that my son trusts me and my judgement. I am proud that he wants ME to kiss his boo-boo's, read him books, teach him things, etc. THOSE are some of the things I am proud of. One thing I am NOT proud of is being a single mother, because the one who hurts the most because of it is the one person I would do anything for, to avoid him feeling any pain. My son. I can teach him a lot of things but I cannot teach him how to be a man.

She literally admitted to child abuse yet sat there and laughed about putting hands on a child. This shit is sad as hell man...

I had to take my daughters mom to court bc she's like this. Didn't even let me see her. Heart goes out to other men in the same positions.

The fact that they went a platform like this and readily admitted this level of dysfunction, is utterly absurd 😑🤦🏽‍♀️. I’m single mother. It’s not a badge of honor and nothing to brag about. A lot of us have to grow the hell up. It’s not about you it’s about your child.

When she said it's generational, she didnt realize she is part of that generation. She should realize working together as a family is the best thing to do for your kids.

This is why we have broken families in every community. Pride. As I get older I'm so much more drawn to families and communities that stay together and act like they actually care about more than their egos.

Son of a single mother here, I resent my mother for certain things she's done to me in my childhood, can't trust her with any of my secrets even if my life depended on it. I heard this saying from on of my life mentor's/father figures in my life, "you can love your parents but you don't have to like them"

Is it just me or the one who dragged her kid across the counter or floor, she said both, said she would rather die on the side of the road than call her baby daddy and yet called him because she couldn't handle her kid in that situation. Sounds like you can't handle it and you didn't die so seems you are completely full of shit. What an amazing mother. Unbelievable this woman.

I remember how PROUD my mom declared how she raised us by herself. I had to remind her how messed up we are because of that.

“That’s the dumbest shit ever.” Correct!

my mother was very manipulative. she abused us emotional, mentally, and financially. she used to beat the shit out of us when we did something we're not spouse to do . when my mom died almost two months ago , I didn't feel anything. some parents are not parent material.

To say I feel bad for these women is an understatement can't believe that innocent child is gonna grow up with that mindset when her dad is clearly a good person

As a wise man once said: "There should be licenses implemented for being a parent. A lot of y'all aren't cut out to be parents."

The part I'm stuck on is her admitting to "knocking her child over" (possibly slapping her down) and then dragging her across the floor. That speaks volumes about her parenting skills.

I was a single mom for awhile. I would call the dad to make decisions and when I needed help parenting, but a lot of the time he just didn't want to help. I gave it my all to make him a part of my son's life and unfortunately he just couldn't make him a priority. I would also never fight with my child like that. There is a difference between parenting/ discipline and throwing fists like a teenager. Sometimes you just have to breath and be the adult of the house. I just disagree with them(the girls) in some ways.

So she'd rather sacrifice her kid rather than her ego.. cool.

My mom thought this way..... really she was just bitter.... it killed her, and now I be with with our dad making up for loss time(side eyeing my mom's past choices). People don't think about the consequences of their actions. ✌🏾

Naw homie came with the right energy and said what everyone was thinking. That is the dumbest sh*t I've heard. Unfortunately many mothers think this way.

I was raised by a single mum , my dad beat the shit outta her and cheated on her for 10 years and hate his guts But if my mum let herself starve and let me be in a bad way because she refused to call my dad I'd resent her for the rest of my life They are basically saying "I'd leave my child motherless just to prove a point to my baby daddy"

Why did nobody address the fact that she said she dragged her daughter across the floor?!? Why is that ok on any level? CPS should be at her house right after this aired.

I dont have a baby daddy (married) but if god forbid we divorced and my daughter was starving best believe I would call him for help, there is nothing I wouldnt do for my daughter to be okay, I’ll deal with my ego later

Being humble doesn’t exist anymore. This new age of people needs help so much. The future is looking B L E A K

The way she talked about abusing her child so bad that even the dog was crying is so scary and heartbreaking! The dog has more emotion than the well-trained pet I mean man on the show.

Preach: “press play”…..”okay so we just going to stand here?” Aba: “yeah” Preach: “that’s ego” 😂 their interactions together are top notch

She's simply campaigning for her daughter to grow up and be indebted to her when she becomes an adult. She will guilt trip her & manipulate her into being her 'back-up plan' and never let her start her own life. She brags about being a great mom, but the trips, clothes & lifestyle will definitely be brought up later when the daughter tries to break away.

"It's a large percentage of women who have to take on that whole package" Most custody courts start off giving the father minimal to almost no custody. Don't complain about the situation when you fought to have it that way. I fought tooth and nail for over a year getting dragged through the mud. I had to PROVE my innocence from blatantly false allegations. When the allegations were shown to be felony level perjury what happened to the other person? She got to walk away because she was assumed innocent when I was assumed guilty. She F right off with that BS she's on

The fact that she talks about how she treats her daughter when on camera? Imagine how she must treat her that she doesn’t say.

You’re both spot on. Way too much pride and ego, and they’re just swimming in toxic dysfunction.

Some say “pride is the deadliest sin.” These women make a clear case as to why that could be true.

I had to learn the hard way THERE'S NO VALOR IN UNNECESSARY SUFFERING... meaning being a single mom BY CHOICE, playing both mom AND dad is nothing to be proud of! Bc it's not about you and your ego, it's about what's best for the child. When u don't want to share the credit and responsibility with someone else just bc u carried majority of the load raising the child doesn't make u a hero. I was a teen mom and unfortunately I USED to think naively like this. It was a coping mechanism after I tried to get him to be in our son's life and got rejected. So I defaulted to "I don't need a man" etc. Bc I didn't have a man and I knew he wasn't interested in being involved anyway. So my ego was hurt AND I didn't want to accept the reality that I had chosen a bad man as my son's father. Thankfully I've moved on from that mindset and found a great man to raise to my son and our other children together. I got very lucky!

Seeing parents brag about situations like that is what made me decide to go another route and leave the violence out when it comes to disciplining and teaching my kids

SMH, I hope my son never runs into these women's offspring. They are dooming our community with this asinine rhetoric. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Preach dropped a HUGE gem "Sometimes the dysfunction is their normal". Sadly, that is often the case is so many situations. You don't recognize it as dysfunction because it is your normal, the way it's always been. I've had to grow past that myself, not in the same way these women do. I have never been a single mother, but I had my own serious issues that I had to work on, and things to relearn. So Preach, that's so spot-on in more situations than just this one.

"That's the dumbest shit ever" -Him "Say it again" -Her like she is going to do something about it. Then she proceeded to talk over him when he is trying to ask her a question. She knows he will call her BS.

I agree. My mother owned up to some things that have happened through the years. We have always been really close, but the men she chose to be in her life have caused some trauma for me through my life, along with some outburst through out the years. She has apologized for it all, and seeing her grow into the women she is now makes me proud to call her my mother. My 2 step parents and my father on the other hand have never apologized for the trauma they caused me, and yes, I respect them less for it. Both my step parents have never even acknowledged the pain they caused me ever. It’s hard to respect someone who didn’t respect you when you were at your most innocent.

"I'd rather die on the side of the road than call the kids dad for help". A few minute's she says after assaulting her kid, the father had to mediate the situation. The host said the obvious... she shaped a story that painting her as a "strong mother" and the father as absent while her sister blindly agrees and regurgitates this false narrative. She's one of these mother's that only want credit for good outcomes and anything negative, she'll blame on the father. She excused her bad moment while basically giving no value to the father's contribution. Trash. Also, I hate the podcasts where there's no control of who speaks and when.

“It’s a generational thing” and you are contributing to it. I like how they notice the problem and then become a part of it because they can use the excuse.

My mother did not have the choice that these women have. I was disowned by my father to my face as a child, so seeing people say things like that is frustrating. There is no better alternative to having both parents.

i was raised dysfunctional but when i decided to have my daughter i started therapy and parenting classes because i didnt want to be that parent or woman for my daughter ...her dad is still with us and if we were to separate i would still call him because even if i got it together or not he is still her father and he has a say in decision making and to voice his opinion because he is the other parent ...women be wilding not to call a dad for help or help in parenting yall have too much pride

I'm divorced and my kids dad lives two blocks away and we still do holidays at my parents together so the kids can have happy memories in their childhood. We still get along and both of us see the kids almost every day we give each other breaks on a regular basis. It's best for kids to have parents that are cooperative not combative.

Some people are so dumb they strut their anti-logic. I hope her kid is okay in life and gets lots of therapy.

Single motherhood is no joke. My mother did a great job raising us and I turned out great- but I don’t know how to be a wife. I’m engaged and absolutely terrified of not being good enough wife because I never got to see that side of my mom. It’s sad

I get this to some degree. My son has a relationship with his father but I no longer do. I would NEVER ask him for anything because of what he did to me and my daughters. BUT.. I have an extensive family network that will help me if needed so I would never be dying on the side of the road.

“That’s the dumbest shit ever!” Facts. That’s not him not taking care of his kid, that’s you choosing not to co-parent. Your kid loses. She has not said that he doesn’t want to be involved. I’m still waiting… They’re a mess.

"That's the dumbest shit ever" my man was preachin before Preach started talking. Also the look Preach gave to Aba when he said "Let's hear why" he knew it was a set up😂😂

'When you're raised by dysfunction, it becomes your normal' - Preach

Why do people now a days say they're capable and don't need any help? We're social animals, we absolutely NEED one another. Whenever someone gives me a hand, whether it's emotional or physical, I appreciate it greatly. It's nice knowing that there are people out there who care about me enough to help me. And I love helping others who truly appreciate it.

Did the lady in the beginning just confessed to child abuse??? I don’t know why women think that they can openly speak like this and expect the average person to agree with them and to say that what they do is relatable and justified. I’m a woman and I disagree with so many things that modern women of today that are in my generation and older do and think it’s OK

I'm totally feelin' Preach's vibe. The looks you're giving the camera today are priceless. And I feel you.

I very recently discovered, or rather, recognized about myself that I've had a certain belief since I was pretty young; that it's shameful to ask people for what you want, or for help; I've no idea where that notion came from. I remember being in my early 20's and deciding that I didn't want help from ANYBODY.... and took pride in not asking. To me, now, that screams dysfunction. I'm 50 now and realizing that, although self sufficiency is good to some extent, no man is an island. I've slowly started accepting help. There's a kind of 'defensiveness' in the way this girl expresses herself. She's probably afraid to appear vulnerable; but isn't she a human being?

Can we talk about how she pride about "dragging her over a table" and then call herself a good mom?

I hope child services is taking heed of this “woman”….

Aba loves when preach gets pissed off 😂

And this mentality of fathers not being included is why the world is in the state that it's in. Fathers are just as important as mothers to a child.

How can these woman say that they wouldn't call yet they just said they did and he helped her?! Ladies let the man be a father! He may not work for you as a partner but its not about you or him its about that child! If you call him when your emotional that's asking for help! Gentlemen I am sorry you all have to deal with these kinds of toxic ladies. MEN ARE NEEDED FOR FAMILY! Thank you Aba & Preach!!

Wait she dragged and hit her bc she's overwhelmed and used her daughter to call her dad bc she was not grown enough to do it herself. When she speaks about him, sounds like a great father who was able to keep the peace in her own home. But she dragged this man bc I'm guessing he moved on. Wtf is going on. Call CPS on that women.

I used to be scared to say this but I'm getting over that fear. If we're going to continue talking about "toxic masculinity" we need to bring just as much passion towards discussing "toxic femininity". We do not live in a vacuum. Also that look from Preach to Aba...LOL

I was raised by my father growing up. Mother was dating an abusive shit stain and that's how my father got custody. Unfortunately, just about my entire upbringing was broken and abusive. Instead of becoming violent myself, I am essentially the polar opposite, which isn't good either. It affected my relationship with my daughter. I have to go through therapy just to try and "fix" what's wrong with me. It sucks all around.

It's like no matter how bad of a person I feel like I may have been there's always someone worse with no self-realization.

When its all about you, there is no room for anyone else. I feel sorry for the child, because she could care less.

Me and my child's dad used to fight tooth and nail for MONTHS. When I had an asthma attack when my daughter was with me he clocked out of work and stayed with me until I could go to the hospital. At the end of the day y'all are family whether you like it or not. And if something happens to me, it happens to my child which affects him. But what do I know Im a random girl on the internet.

Kevin Samuels ain't never lied when he said these independent and strong Queens will die alone 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️🤦🏿‍♂️

Now hopefully you guys are still on RU-vid 20 years later when her daughter ends up on a podcast telling us how shitty her mom was most of her life and how she wished she didn't see her dad as a villain lmao That reaction video is gonna be wild.

She got that feminist victimist mentality, "I'm the victim but I'm also superior". In my mind, these simply don't matter. They don't.

She don't need to call him for child support either. SHE GOT THIS

I will never understand why some women think it's an achievement to be a single mom. Yeah some of them have no choice but most of them do. And basicly what you're saying is:" my child needs both parents in their life but my own ego is more important so if I dislike him they will never see their father."

It's hard for some people to ask for help. I swear, I know the feeling. It is ego but it's also the trauma of being abandoned all your life. You get really strongly reliant on yourself. It's protection. It's not right. I just understand it. I was in a tough spot and could not ask a single person for help. I felt like a burden and was too embarrassed. I can't imagine asking someone who hurt me, like an ex. I can't ask someone who hurt me to help me. I won't make him a hero and me the peasant that needs his help. It's a father wound. Fire sign. ✌️

Honestly, children will get to a point where they know what is going on...I let my daughter find out on her own. If a parent is lacking a child will find out later on when they see the actions of the other!

It boggles my mind how everyone can understand that being a single parent hurts both the parent and the child but in the same breath will say "I'd rather die then ask the other parent for help" Insanity

The fact that this man is a great father and she still has this mindset is baffling…. and the worse part is that her daughter is gonna grow up thinking this type of behavior is acceptable

Fairly new to to the channel but they have become a favorite. Always on point, intelligent, thoughtful commentary laced with lots of humor. Look forward to digging deeper into their content. Entertaining and thought-provoking topics.

The greatest lesson I learned from my parents was what not to ever put my children through. Abuse, shame, rage, neglect… The greatest struggle of many people’s lives is learning how to be a decent human being without role models to guide you.

*Being a parent is sacrifice, if you don't realize that you will always have problems. This is the reason why it's so hard to date single mom/dads because, the partner doesn't even want them, they want the attention and use the child as a tool to fuel their ego.*

She would rather a child suffer from a man SHE CHOSE to create the baby with, than receive help from said man. The lack of family system for this next generation of humans is going to cause incalculable damage. Poor preach, he’s so disheartened 🤣😅

Man... I'm still trying to heal from the toxicity from my childhood and yes... resentment towards that person was on a level I thought I could never forgive or come back from. I chose to wait on children because I'll be damned if I ever treat MINE as I was treated.

Seen it a lot of times. Single mothers dragging their children through struggles even though the child doesn't have to suffer. They do it so they can tell other women "it's so hard for me, no one helps me" me me me me me. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD!!!!

I think we need to start calling out the differences between responsibility and maturity. Some people think because they're responsible it automatically means their mature and it does not. Just because you can pay all your bills on time, you're good at managing your money doesn't eaquate to the maturity. Mature people can handle interpersonal relationships, maturity is a form of emotional intelligence, it means that you're strong enough to handle life's adversity as a fully functioning healthy adult. Too much pride is a sign of immaturity.

I would rather die on the side of the road and leave my child with one less parent than ask for help from the other party and then they (the child) die along side me; yes that makes sense with her logic. Smh 🤦‍♂️ you can't make this shit up.

Dude while i was watching this I genuinely thought "I'm going to show this to my therapist" and not even 10 secs later Aba said this is why people see therapist 🤣 YES! Thankfully, it helped my parents get to that place your mom got to. Excellent breakdown 🎯 👏👏👏

I recently got guardianship of my niece whom I raised from 3 months old till 8 when I had to give her back to her mother. She came back with: Depression Anxiety 120 pounds overweight. Thoughts of ending herself. With one attempt. She did so much damage to her in such a short amount of time and now I have to deal with her misbehavior. Now since my niece has been back I have not had ANY issue with misbehavior. Single mothers are a not good people.

My children's mother chose to sleep in her car with my children for months instead of calling me. I was never abusive, controlling or toxic to her or my children. I just chose not to be with her because she was all of those things. Oh yeah, she also left the state and refused to tell me where they were.

The amount of times they said “to me” instead of realizing things for what they actually are. That’s these women’s downfalls

Ay J-Cole said it best “Pride is the devil, think it got a hold on me…….Make a baby mama make sh- harder than it gotta be Make you have to take the b- to court to see your prodigy Make you have to use your last resort and pull a robbery Pride be the reason for the family dichotomy Got uncles and some aunties that's too proud to give apologies”.

I’ve been a social worker for 22 years, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve come across women who lie on the father’s of their children. They lie about receiving financial support, they lie about the father’s effort of see their children, they lie about abuse and neglect from the father, when in fact most of the time children are neglected and abused by the mother. It’s insane how many women put their petty grudges ahead of the safety, mental, physical and emotional stability of the child. It’s ridiculous. In a lot of the cases, I’ve seen, single fathers provide the more stable environment for the children. There’s a reason why the majority of criminals were raised by single mothers.

Respect to the person editing this vid. The cuts and zooms were on point

It’s always Preach for me. He had me in tears the whole time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣