If Minecraft Was Controlled By Twitter... 

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I think sprinting should have gotten a cancel point because exercising is “fatphobic”

"There is no shame in killing an iron golem because it's white." -someone from Twitter.

Based on everything we know from this video alone, here’s my idea on how to beat this, which is REALLY tedious, but if it works then it’s possible to beat the whole game without getting cancelled once. 1. Toggle bonus chest on before creating the world. If you’re lucky you should be able to get enough wood for a wooden hoe and pickaxe. And no, the bonus chest is god given for you, so it is not stealing from anyone. 2. Obtain additional wood by luring creepers to explode near trees, or explode near wooden planks in abandoned mineshafts, villages, witch huts, pillager towers, and other wooden structures. The cancel meter only goes up if you’re the one destroying blocks, not when mobs do so. Because let’s face it, only the one destroying (the creeper) the blocks gets the blame by Twitter logic. 3a. If you’re lucky enough to spawn in a grass-oriented biome like plains, punch grass for seeds and grow them into wheat for bread using your hoe. Technically this should be fine, because you only get cancelled for destroying trees but not necessarily grass. 3b. In case 3a doesn’t work: If you spawned in a taiga biome, find red berries and farm them. You may also lure creepers into exploding abandoned village crops like carrots, potatoes, and beetroot (see step 2). If you can, plant them on your own for food. 4. Mine coal and iron as usual because there’s nothing special in that regard. Run away from any monster you see and conserve your tool durability so you don’t have to use too many materials to make tools. Make iron armor, an iron pickaxe, and buckets. 5. Mine lots of gold for later, and make one piece of golden armor. Also mine some redstone to make a dispenser. This will come into play later. 6a. At this point you should have a bunch of cobblestone. Don’t throw it out, make a mob farm tall enough so that any mob falling down die from fall damage, which means you don’t need to attack anything for their loot. If you’re lucky, you can get a skeleton to drop arrows. This is very important, as getting feathers to make arrows is impossible. 6b. You could also get string if you find cobwebs in an abandoned mineshaft, but just in case, refer to 6a, because destroying cobwebs might constitute as “Destroying the natural habitat of spiders”. 7. Build a nether portal with a lava pool as usual. Place a flammable block like planks near the base, then surrounding that block on all sides except one. If you do it right, the fire is forced to ignite the block on the side just above the obsidian base of the portal, naturally igniting the portal. Again, twitter logic; if you didn’t ignite the portal by directly interacting with it, then you didn’t do it and thus did nothing to get cancelled. 8. Trade with piglins with gold to get ender pearls, so you don’t have to kill endermans. You might be able to get string from the trades as well. If you haven’t gotten string already, use them to make a bow and, crucially, a fishing rod. 9. To get blaze rods without entering a fortress, you need to have some luck. Look for a fortress that has a blaze spawner which is close to grounded areas that are considered outside the fortress. Use a fishing rod to pull blazes one by one toward you so that you can kill them outside of the fortress. There’s no penalty for killing blazes, so you’re free to do this until you have enough. 10. Now that you can get eyes of ender, locate the stronghold but don’t go into it immediately. 11. Instead, go on a trip to find moss blocks, and go back to your mob farm to get bones for bonemeal. Then return to the stronghold. 12a. Place moss blocks near the stone bricks of the stronghold. Bonemeal the moss to “infect” the walls of the stronghold. Doing so should trick the game (or the twitter users) into thinking that you’re now destroying moss blocks and not the stone bricks that are the walls of the stronghold, avoiding the “destroying ancient landmarks” penalty. EDIT: Actually wait hang on, I think you can only moss stone, not stone brick. Use pistons. XD It will be tedious but it's theoretically possible to do because you're not "destroying" blocks (?) 12b. Excavate the walls and navigate around the stronghold safely until you find the portal room. This is done so that you don’t have to go into the stronghold to find it, which would give you the “entering an ancient landmark” penalty. Once you find a portal, dig just below the stronghold in a similar fashion to get just below the portal. 12c. You should be able to interact with the portal frames and place the eyes to trigger the portal. The theory is that unlike the nether portal, the end portal transports you to a made-up dimension that doesn’t exist, so it will not trigger the “encouraging hell” penalty. 13a. In addition to the usual, make sure you have the following: Tons of blocks, tons of arrows, a water bucket, a dispenser, and anything you can use to trigger the dispenser. 13b. To enter the portal without entering the stronghold, use an ender pearl and fire it at the portal frame. You will teleport into the portal and thus teleport to the end safely. 14. Once in the end, you’ll have to setup the dragon water trap. Build as high as you can and bridge until you get just above the perch point for the dragon aka the portal altar. Place water high above and place a block so the dragon’s AI make the boss perch so high up the end crystals can’t heal the dragon. 15. In case killing the dragon directly triggers a cancellation, use your dispenser and fill it with arrows, before firing arrows at the dragon however you choose to trigger the machine. It’ll take a lot of patience, but eventually you should be able drain the dragon’s health bar. 16. Get back to the ground and enter the portal. Done! I hope this works because this took forever to type. 😂

"endangered species" Meanwhile endermen being the only mobs to appear in every dimension:

I thought he was gonna get cancelled for racism when he killed that Enderman, in a boat nonetheless 💀

"I guess stealing from the poor can't get you cancelled" Too true, bro

Considering what world we're living in right now, it's all fun and jokes until it actually happens somewhere

2:45 you doesnt get canceled because iron golem is basicly a white man..

Twitter:you killed an endangered species Endermen:we be infesting a whole dimension

This isn't accurate enough. If Minecraft was actually controlled by Twitter, you would have been cancelled for being a white man entering a village of... what would you call them, Native Villagers? Either way, you would have been cancelled for entering a village as a white man. Or, better yet, for even being a man. Still 90% accurate though lol.

When you get cancelled for walking on the ground because you're apparently killing microscopic animals

1:00 I find it so funny That the fucking destroyed shipwreck is considered as "public property"

2:00 Vegans when they realize eating plants is also killing life.

Chuck: *gets cancelled* Chuck 29 minutes later: And I'm still cancelled to this day...

3:15 Make sure you let the zombies hit you first, because then hitting them back is self defence.

1:05 This is inaccurate. Twitter doesn’t care about destruction of property. :D

Imagine buying a $30 dollar game, and having to also pay a subscription to play it.

This video makes me realize how people can treat this game as real life.

3:30 no way that they’re a hell shaming!

Hey I’m glad twitter didn’t actually do this, especially bc destroying a shipwreck in international waters is in most circumstances completely legal under international maritime law.

Random dude: "Animals are not for eating" Farms: Am I a joke to you ?!

I would love to see someone try to beat this as a gamemode.

4:03 lol the music box

1:28 *GOD BLESS*

"I guess stealing from the poor won't get you canceled" Damn😢

He had a helmet and an enchanted axe and he still decided to listen to that lady rant. He still had some thin layer of respect for that lady in spite of them being a ranting vegan.

1:55 wowie that sword is so threatening! It’s such a shame that I don’t have a golden axe and 2 pieces of golden armor for slight protection, clearly I can’t fight that vegan because I would get cancled….screw it I would.

The cancelled meter makes so much sense about Twitter XD

Whole gameplay in one line: "You're cancelled."

You did not only describe the banning system but like twitter as a whole in this video well done man

This was actually enjoyable since it was making fun of both sides without a bias

2:39 Well, iron golems are white so

The most accurate yet relatable video in existence 😂

"I have a really strong feeling I'm about to get cancelled for this" One of my new favorite lines lol

Just put “AIGAB” (All Iron Golems are Bad) and “PLM” (Pillager Lives Matter) in your bio and the denizens of Twitter will be on your side.

0:12 Minecraft if it was bought by EA Edit: This is the oldest comment on this video

Alt Title: What If Elon Musk owned Minecraft

Killing the iron golem didn’t get you cancelled because it’s like a police officer

2:08 You can't eat twitter users, that's cannibalism.

3:42 Twitter: Ayoo thats racist!!

This is literally the definition of twitter 😂

a random ass normal human: *breathes* twitter guy/gal: OK THAT’S EXTREMELY OFFENSIVE

Chuck Nasty: I got cancelled?! *Freddy Fazbear theme starts playing*

Anyways, i really interested in Minecraft this way, but a bit more fair. I mean, for example counter will rise for cutting down trees, but will decrease if you plant new one. You can be cancelled for unnecessary killing, like killing sheep instead using shears, or killing animals for meat when u already have a lot of food in inventory, but still have no problem with killing animals when u dying from starvation, or monsters that came too close to your house (for example in n-radius away from your spawn point bed). Sounds like very hard experience, but should be playable.

2:18 For a few seconds he suddenly turned into Grox...

Another thing, if Twitter hates you, you must be doing something right it seems like

when you get cancelled for walking because that’s “tresspassing”

Imagine someone manages to beat minecraft like this without the bar fully filling up

1:14 What the Fu- 💀💀💀

0:55 this is not illegal 🤓 I memorize the every single law 🤓

It's really awesome keep up the good work

Twitter is literally the main villain in this video 😂

The person shaming Chuck for Unnecessary violence while the zombies where chasing him down and trying to kill him probably thought Kyle Rittenhouse was guilty.

Awesome video this is really funny nice work man

1:09 Anything within 3 miles of the US coast is considered government property. Researched it myself.

You forgot the part where Minecraft starts glitching like hell because Daddy Elon fired shit ton of employees Edit: LMFAOOOOO THIS COMMENT AGED LIKE A FINE WINE💀💀💀

As fun as it was, kinda sad how realistic it is

*Draws my Axe* "I am not against vegans in general, I am against the kind of vegans that force their dietary habits onto others"

Wtf bro the "I guess stealing from the poor can't get you cancel" is wild

It's upsetting that this is actually what twitter is like.

This man here is underrated.

1st Person: Stampylongnose 3rd person: Chuck Nasty

Encouraging Hell wouldn’t get you cancelled. Satanism is stunning and brave.

I think I know how to cheese this, in the village you can steel saplings and plant trees, some people will try to cancel you, but most of them will be happy for you thus decreasing your cancel meter

someone should make this as a mod and speedrun it

oh please, everyone knows twitter is too braindead to bother telling you what youre doing wrong.

Vegans:Animals are not for eating! Our diet being omnivorous:Are you serious right neow

The theory of the protagonist of minecraft being the villian hits different now

1:50 if that happened to me i would axe crit *Famous last words before pure cancelation*

This feels like something out of a MineCraft machinima video

As someone that uses Twitter, this is exactly how you get cancelled.

Twitters gonna cancel him for this

It appears that we cannot escape that vegan teacher. NO MATTER HOW MUCH WE PRESIST.

this man needs to be a comedian. i mean this guy makes people laugh

2:09 This is inaccurate because the cancelled matter would’ve said “Plants are alive too you know!”

I feel like we are gonna come back to this in 10 years to see what came true

Somehow I feel like if this happened twitter would have a lot of lawsuits

“I guess stealing from the poor cnat get you cancelled”💀😂

I like how you added the creepy music box at the end where as you just lost your privilege to you started the music

The "Nasty, Cat?" (Or wtevr) is back!!

So judging by Minecraft, Twitter is a religious, anarcho-authoritarian, positive discriminatory dystopia

Twitter is just the worst like people who say"GaY iS tHe bEsT"

"cancelled for harming a creeper" Damn i forgot how much twitter defended creepers

This is not Minecraft owned by twitter. It's Minecraft owned by real life

Wait. Isn't that fat shaming? 3:04

This is great video the Twitter parity is perfect.

1:55, bro scared about that vegan teacher Also Bro: has armor and a enchanted golden axe

There are ways to beat this challenge: -killing villagers, regular skeletons, or just in general any mob that is white and isnt an existing animal will lower the cancel meter. -to bypass the vegan measure: "Don't plants feel pain when you eat them too?" This will cause the vegan to start living solely off of water until they die of starvation. -Become the social justice warrior: "Not everyone can afford to eat vegetables especially in africa, maybe you're so privileged to not CARE about less fortunate beings?" "So what if i am racist? Aren't YOU racist for insulting white people and being offended on behalf of a race you aren't even A PART OF?" -When fighting mobs, accuse them of something terrible they did a decade ago. -Be a black, hairy, morbidly obese, transgendered woman. And if you aren't, just sexually identify as one.

3:26 Honestly, it's kinda understandable why they don't like you literally opening a portal to hell. I would've agreed with them, but A. It's a fucking video game, so none of this matters, and B. Even if it did, their argument is so poorly worded that I can't agree with them regardless.

If he used his words instead if violence he would've gotten cancelled for "being disrespectful"

Minecraft is now going down by 69k players every day.

3:15 Undertale be like

Fun Fact: It is legal to forge for food, so he could get melons from the jungle biome.

With Twitter, if you breathe the wrong way, you get canceled.😤

Chuck Nasty: *Exists* Cancelled Meter: *Increases*

Notce that he did not get cancelled for killing that wither skeleton? Twitter in a nutshell

1:43 Oh noes!, is a extreme vegan that wants to oof me!, oh no!, he is cancel me for eating meat, even though a lot of people eat it!, oh no I'm in danger!

Strategy to win this: 1: Chop down wood like normal (it’s a necessary “evil” and it’s not like the canceled bar goes up all the way after one “offense”) 2: Kill animals (you will be teleported for a lecture and come back with lots of vegetables, also increases the canceled meter) 3. Loot some important landmarks but don’t overdo it. Only go for those with lots of useful goodies (increases the canceled meter per important landmark). You should also hope you get Enders pearls there. 4. Run away from any monsters you see (avoids cancellation) 5. Pay for MC Green for diamonds (does nothing to the canceled meter) 6. Build a Nether portal and go to a fortress to get what you need while not kiIIing “endangered species” (increases the canceled meter by 2) 7. Go to the End like normal and defeat the ender dragon somehow (increases canceled meter by 1 at most, hopefully) If you follow these steps correctly you should leave with a canceled meter that’s 60% full at the minimum. We don’t know exactly how much the cancelled meter fills up after you hunt down the ender dragon so gl from there) You can add more to this in the replies

As a twitter user myself, I can confirm that this video is pretty accurate to my community.