If They Show These Early Signs They are a Narcissist 

Betrayal Trauma After Narcissistic Abuse: www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/livevent

They can’t take NO for an answer, don’t apologize and want control, praise and admiration at all times.

one HUGE indicator is if they WALK AWAY from you. So, let's say you are in a restaurant or at a park, and you are heading out the door or walking on a path and they WALK AHEAD OF YOU, they leave you behind and walk way way ahead of you. Please get in your car or have them take you home. It's a humiliation tactic. Get away...Ladies, especially YOU. He isn't stronger, he doesn't have longer legs, he's testing to see if you will pick up the breadcrumbs...get in YOUR car, block his number and drive AWAY. Please...for the love of God.

They cannot stand any sort of disagreement.

If they act as nice as pie when out in public with you, but treat you like shit behind closed doors - verbally and/or physically - leave and don't look back. My Nanna nailed it when talking about people like this. She said they were "Street angels and house devils." Just RUN.

True! Everything with a narcissist feels pressured, unsettling, exhausting, uncomfortable. Therapy with wonderful professionals like you and supportive family members have been helping me to understand and recover from narcissistic abuse. Thank you so much, Danish 💖🙏🏻

There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........

Excellent advice. Those seeing this, please take warning. The narcissist doesn’t have love in them therefore can’t give love to anyone. Save yourself,your heart and precious time for good and caring people. ❤

"If somebody shows you their true colors, don't repaint them in your mind" 💯 Once is a mistake. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is a pattern. The minute you see a pattern, don't overthink it and leave. Giving anyone the benefit of the doubt might end up killing you. #Narc101

I'm not exactly sure how I discovered narcissism, but one thing I'm sure of is that if I hadn't found your channel, I would have been broken and bankrupt much more often. I'm deeply grateful to you..

Exactly! My ex narc made me believe my family was racist against him so that I wouldn't see them anymore, he criticized things I liked to eat so that I wouldn't eat it. He told me my friends talked behind my back to him, he said my kids were embarrassed of me. He said his ex was crazy and that he always gets used by women. He said he had brain cancer which he does not. He repeats the same stories and scenarios over and over. He accused me of cheating all the time. I never got his validation or approval. He always complimented my coworkers and friends and only criticized me. He always speaks positive about himself and his appearance and constantly asks for validation. He showers me with material things in order to make me believe he loves me. I am permanently scared but grateful that I have time left to enjoy life without abuse

I think it is a sign of healing when they try to devalue you or triangulate you to make you try "harder," instead you tell them you do not feel safe and you get the hell out of there. That is the correct reaction to their manipulations.

I didnt even know the signs of narcissism. 35 years ago when i got married, there was no youtube where you could learn these things. Danish, you are changing lives, bring awareness to the light. God bless you.

My mother taught me to justify their behaviour... I think we all need to see where we learned it.

What I have experienced how to tell if a person is a narcissist: 1) Blame their ex past relationships.(Plays victim card) 2) The person asks about how much you make and how much you do when you meet them. 3) The person begins to give you excessive attention and gifts. 4) the person talks to people as If they've known them for ages(to a new person) 5) the person has more than two divorces.

"Why should I dread going home to this person?" You're so helpful, Danish! You bring up points that I've never heard from other coaches.

They never hold your hand in hands or put on your shoulder like a romantic gesture, they just tightly hold your hand above the elbow as if you are their manipulated controlled doll in public.. My experience

I always felt like his 'lady in waiting'. I abandoned what I loved to do because I felt I needed to be available because it was always about his work, his 80 hour work week, and because I needed to be the one who had to maintain flexibility. I literally gave up who I was and what I wanted to do in life, in order to be there for whatever he needed, whenever he needed.

They see themselves as gods,and idols. Expect you too bow down,and worship them. They want everything perfect.

I love that you said that if you ask a narcissist what they love about you they turn it on themselves. Both narcissists I’ve been with have done this and to me that’s the true test. A non narcissist would say “I love you because you have a good heart/personality etc”. A narcissist will say “I love you because you make me happy or make me feel good”.

A healthy relationship doesn’t make you feel like a failure. Narcs are broken, irreparable products. We invest our time and energy trying to fix them, with genuine hope that they will ‘work’ normally. We end up exhausted and drained from our futile attempts and in pain from injuries inflicted by the malfunctioning merchandise.

Ah! Ask them "why do you love me?I never thought of that! 👍

Wow. Yes, excusing their abuse, especially when it’s very subtle and they are just testing you. It’s not because you need testing, it’s because it’s fun for them to see how far they can push you.

I asked the narcissist husband why he loved me. The answer I got; "That's not a fair question!" ???😮???

I wish I had known these things before I got married 20 years ago. I did have people try to warn me but I didn’t understand so I didn’t listen. I think I thought like everyone else at that time, and that if you were abuse, then it was because you were being hit. So maybe I ignored the other signs or just didn’t recognize them because I have never been physically abuse, it has always been mental abuse. Thank you for sharing this information with us, and helping us to understand, so that we don’t feel guilty and blame ourselves for something that isn’t our fault.

Being with a narc is like sharing the bed with a devil Just run and dont look back ever

Imo CHILDREN in school around the ages of 8 - 10 years old should be taught all about narcissists and how to spot them. Many children are being raised by narcissists who are doing their worst to destroy their own child.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Danish, you are a peacemaker. Those who educate us through videos like these, are the peacemakers…..by helping us to understand this chaotic mess that narcissists create…..and how our ignorance of the situation can make things worse. And yes, I am one of those that say, I wish I had known of this information decades ago…..but better late than never. Helping us to navigate these dark waters, has helped us to learn how to be at peace…..instead of feeling like we are at the mercy of these abusive manipulators. I can honestly say, that listening to all of these explanations for the last six years has helped my sanity IMMENSELY…..and helped me to be at peace more. Bless you, Danish!

It’s healing just to hear you express all these things with soooo much understanding 😢

Yes exactly i had autoimmune disease of gut... I had gone through lot..... I cant explain 😢 and cant forget . I feel like there is everliving wound in my heart...

If you feel like you’re being rushed to break down your boundaries🚩 When they agree with you, and later bring up again to shift blame or not take accountability🚩 These are a couple things I’ve recently encountered. This last one might be me being paranoid or over analyzing but when they have delayed reactions of happiness when they see you🚩🚩 it’s like it takes them a second to mirror how they think you want them to react when they may feel otherwise Lmk if you’ve experienced something similar if you’d like

We who have been abused on every level…didn’t even know the word Narcissist..now through people like you Danish we have the terminology for what we’ve gone/going through …Narcissism is a new term..Thank you for helping people to understand what their going through 🫶🫶🫶

You’re right. I don’t have mild anger issues. Why am I accepting it from others. I don’t want a partner who cannot treat me the way I will treat them. I will leave.

This is all true with my parents and siblings. I went recently no contact and they don’t understand why. I do feel guilty for abandoning them but also relieved not to have the dread and pressure of going along with it all to keep the peace.

I remember how he would speak very subliminal. “I can’t wait to be a father. I always get what I want. You clearly don’t want to be with me if you don’t want a family with me”. Constantly pressuring. When you believe that possibly in time.

YOU ARE SAVING LIVES NOW MY FRIEND!!!

I wish i found content like this sooner as well. Feels like I've been brainwashed for over 30 years. I don't know who i am when I'm around my family. But i am so drained when i get home. They get louder when they've been drinking, my hearing is so sensitive. Headache for days. I get blotchy rashes on my skin when I'm anxious and the shakes, which is embarrassing 😅 fun times ayeee

One of the reasons I went no contact with my dad is that I felt a feeling of dread whenever my phone rang because I always felt really bad after taking to him. And, the reasons weren't usually obvious. They were very subtle. I had to think about it. He's such an insidiously negative and hateful person to deal with.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO DANISH!!! YOU ARE DOING THE LORDS WORK FRFR!!

This is so helpful, Danish. So true. Also when they are pointing out mistakes they always humiliate, belittle and ridicule others especially in public. It's important to learn how to spot their toxic behaviour patterns and I'm so grateful that your content is helping many of us. Thank you 🙏🏻💜

I didn't know about narcissism when I started dating my ex, but I knew something was wrong. I also blamed his bad childhood and even worse, his best friend killed himself very early in our relationship so I forgave him for everything. Years later he still expected me not only to forgive everything but act happy no matter what he did.

I feel the care, concern, and understanding from you, Danish, and you didn't even know me. I appreciate you. Thank you❤

I have noticed that they will usually tell you how they are right from the beginning.

I really do wish I had coaches like you and so many others I have found in the past few years. I had little guidance when I was younger and made soooo many mistakes. It took an act of God to fully snap out of it

7 years wasted, wish I had met you first. I Married too fast. 😢

People like to blame the victim but what People don't understand the narc preys on integrity People by pretending to care but it's all a set up😢

in addition to the video which serves as a great guideline to detect toxic people. here's 4 questions i have used in the past as 💩- tests, when you are unsure about someone who is currently involved in your life. assuming you are treating said person in good faith, the way you would want to be treated: 1) what value do you bring to my life? 2) if the situation was reversed, would you do as much if not even half for me, of what i have done and/or would do for you? 3) if i stayed to myself, what would i miss about you? 4) how do i feel when i am around you. do you make my life better or worse? if you have to ask any or all of the questions to yourself about the person in question, that's a red flag. if you ask them out loud to the other person, get ready to say goodbye. red flags never turn green. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

Words can't express how grateful I'm to you and your channel. I've been following your and Dr. Ramani's channel for more than a year now and you guys help me understand how narcissists' words and actions mean. I finally, after almost four years of struggle, psychological and emotional abuse, left my narcissistic relationship. Thank you so much for helping. Lots of love to you.

In my case, he didnt like I know his friends and if one person meeting us, he never introduced me...i was invisible. And some people said: "Take care of him. He´s a nice guy" or "he´s a boy of gold". And it becomes to me in a form of rumminating memories. And all things begins make sense, like a film you saw without a script or a details on this script. Just images, even the words could fit them, but not. A terror film. suspense film. sad film.

the legitimation of narcissistic behavior as the result of past traumas is also an aspect of modern psychology. the concept of personal accountability in psychotherapy is at times seen as less important than it's causes.

42 years of life wasted........... I wish i heard you earlier

Walking on eggshells even if it’s easy for you to not annoy them… still isn’t a good friendship. Even at work, they will eventually target you even if you’re nice to them and cool with them.

This video made me cry. Maybe bc it’s like the sixth one in a row from this doctor I’ve just watched. I don’t think I’ve realized how much of these things I live with…and I’m not sure every single one of these qualities is his but man, there are so many that are. It’s hard when you see the good in them too. It’s hard when you know their trauma and wish for their healing. And even harder when you draw boundaries and they do not care, they blow thru them, and they refuse to leave, refuse to go, when you have had enough…it feels like being so stuck when they refuse to go and then pledge n start pouring out love love love love love and try hard, try meds, try therapy etc…idk, it’s just tumultuous and chaotic, and gets a little hopeless when you think, wow, why can’t you just make life nice. I’m easy and you are so very hard, for no good reason I can see at all. Idk sorry to rant lol but this channel is loaded with so much reality that it’s kinda overwhelming to start realizing some things a little better.

Sir a narcissist copies me. She is now very kind and polite to those who were close to me so much. She tries to snatch my place and tries to be liked by all and others be defamed.

You nailed it again, Danish! Every point hit home with me.

Thank you! I’m scared once I start dating again (years from now) that I will not know what to do or look for

They also love painting themselves as the hero or savior in tales they tell. For example, they'll say that they had a dream about you where you were in danger and they were there to save you, before anything bad happened. Another one, they'd purposely create a problem and act like it was caused by you. When all they're trying to do is come up with the solution.

You are a great man Danish. Thank you for your insight

Thanks. Jzk. Your videos have been liberating. AH I’m not dealing with malignancy in my situation but still not healthy. Knowing is half the battle. Now I know what to look for and the need to seek help.

I second the "I wish I had discovered this years ago"

A huge red flag :- they suddenly criticise your clothing out of the blue, when all seems happy ie "That jacket doesn't go with that skirt." It may seem trivial but it's leading up to criticism and put downs of everything about your life. Run

It's so healing to hear you, thamk you 🙏🏻🤍

This is very important, Thank-you for this topic.

1st Sign They Will Stand You Up! And Then, Make Excuses Of Why? A Narcissist Will Never Keep The Word. Biggest Liars. 2nd Sign. They Are Flashy! They Have To Be The Center Of Attention. 3rd Sign. If They Do Something Or Give You Something, It Is Because They Want Something In Return. If They Want Something Back From You In Return for What They Did For You. Most Noticeable Sign, Tell Them No About Something Small. 👇 If They Get Mad Or Angry! You Know You Are Dealing With A Narcissist.

I honestly wish, i had come across your video. I ended up losing my one year salary on a narcissistic person.

It was like he wanted to be in control over my life my every move and I had to constantly give him reinsurance that I only wanted him

Thank you. I wish you would do a video on narcisitic attacking family systems

I stayed running to my car and leaving my own home sitting at the park crying he would accuse me of going to see a man

A relatively new topic barely discussed 10 years may be... Better late than never is the best option...

Thankyou for this valuable information.

Numbers 4 and 5 are particularly and painfully apposite.

Great video!

Red flag - empty profile yet when you speak to him magically his hobbies are your hobbies ; he gives up his rental home within weeks of meeting you to “ save money “ ; he’s always in flash clothes / goes on holiday , but no money . Lives with his mother ( despite being 40 years and up ) ; advises he has money issues ; targets you as you have your own place near his work / family / kids - and wants to move into your house!!

They r who they r an even if things were perfect or if u had a better job or if u let things go they r horrible people if u start acting like them they will never forget as if u r the worst person An they never belive u THEY CHEAT ALL THE TIME SLEEP AROUND

Thank you Danish 🙏

Very helpful. Thank you.

Also, make a video about all the people who lost many years without knowing the subject. Tell some comforting words to the men and women who are old now and have lost the opportunity to enjoy their special abilities and the chance to have a happy life because of narc abuse. Thank you

If this information was around 20 years ago (I was 9 in 2004) I watched Ella Enchanted again at 29 (this year is the 20th anniversary) it’s come full circle. 😊 My Prince died in 2013…. The year I graduated high school 😊

I’m trying to figure out who’s the narcissist in my relationship. We are 6 years deep and I can relay with a lot of Narcissistic behavior BUT also the abuse… I found out that I DO feel like a lot is NOT my fault… and if it is it’s never the intention to isolate her. But ever since we go together, she became mentally ill and stopped working for the last 4 years. I work my ass off and I don’t get much back, besides her trying to ‘love’ me with presents, hugs and kisses… It’s sweet but all I want is her to get better! I get angry when she goes out with her friends. She doesn’t work… cause working is too much… but going out ain’t even if it’s not even her money. Now I heard someone say that a Narcissist won’t leave unless they need to get rid off you.. Don’t get me wrong… but her not working and only being able to do what she wants, when she wants, broke something in me… especially since I’m not allowed to point this out cause she’ll be offended and hurt. I recently met someone else that made my heart explode and I realized if I chose to leave my gf, she would have nothing left. Everything is on my name… the house, the dog… I can’t take that away from her too. I find myself losing my shit everyday now. I even told my gf about my heart cheating… For the record I didn’t cheat… yet… but I learned better not to be that honest anymore cause she’ll use it against me. I guess the Narcissistic f*ck in me decided to take my stuff and sleep at my parents for a while.. is this me getting rid of her? How do I get better?

Rule #4...they make you abandon yourself...and your friends. My Narcissistic family hate that i have friends that think i'm lovely. If a friend does something nice for me, my narc-family will hate our guts. I can be hit by a car and narc-fam will tell me to call my friend. Wtf?!?!!! They will only help me if i have no friends. Psycho-Narcissists. They hate when ppl just like me. They love convincing me nobody likes me.

I do wish I would've known these things 20 years ago, not just for mu sake, but my children's and my husband's, we don't go through anything alone and everybody loses the things we need most.

I think those are not early signs… but still valid.

Thanks danish

Thank you much, Danish. I thank Jesus Christ for you and your content ❤

The covert narcissist I lived with for 26 years said it was because of my toes and I made him laugh. A few years ago his son and his wife were at our house and his son said the same thing about his wife's toes. At the time, I had not figured out that my husband was a covert narcissist. And I was like "OMG, it's hereditary." Everybody laughed. Now whether my covert narc husband had anything to do with him saying that, I don't know, but now I'm wondering if she will end up or is going through the same thing even though it doesn't appear so.

I didn’t know about narcissistic personality disorder till 29 yrs old. So sad.

I wish I knew about Narcissistic Disorder many many years ago I have dealt with walking on egg shells, his rages, rantings and his alcoholism, womanizing, sexual behaviors, when caught he has even paid off the victims who reported him -What are you made of, you haven’t broken yet -all your family & friends are crazy -who are you seeing, where is your strength coming from - who are you talking with -do you know how difficult it will be to live as a single woman -i feel sorry for you and your destiny, you couldn’t have found someone as bad as me -my family has always said that I am the black sheep - controls his family & friends with money, so they keep their mouth shut and ignore all his lapses -and the list can go on & on … Been away from all this for a while now, except when coparenting 2 kids

They’re not looking for love or partnership they’re looking for opportunity and control

Thank you.

Why do u love me, i never EVER!! got answer to this question actually, i never, but! I was always expected to give answer to that same question

U r really good.

I am going through same thing 😢😢

All the signs I've experienced before jumping out. I hope other women realizes earlier.

Me 2 Danish I am So Grateful & Thankful 4 u You're The Best ❤ u

I wished I had knows about narcissism also…:(

I wish i can see this video 2 year's before 😢😢

The love portion is correct!

I was with a narcissist and then I finished but took years. Really traumatized ..but my immune is strong enough since I was a child that created by God 🙏

So True!

Wish I knew this earlier!