That's exactly why narcissistic abuse is so damaging! It messes with who you are as a person and makes you feel like you're nothing. Most people who haven't experienced this personally have no clue the trauma that can be left behind but it's very real.
So true. They play with your sense of reality and ultimately self esteem. But don’t blame yourself. At first you don’t notice and before you know you get caught, doubting yourself… Someone who has never experienced it can not imagine what and how strong it is. Till you get the insight… Choose for beauty, break free, develop yourself, bloom. If your still in it: Ask yourself this. “Do I need this?” If not (and hopefully not, love and respect yourself) GO !
I now COMPLETELY understand why my mother was against my siblings and I dating until we formed a full understanding of who we were. We hated her for this then. How foolish were we! She knew the monsters out there.
Great you listened! My daughter wanted her boyfriend to sleep over, no way but his parents allowed her to... After dating 6 yrs he refused to move in with her, she's a way better catch now, I'm glad I said no even though she had a fit, she's 27 now and on a better course!
@@MSSHARIII . Thanks 🙏🏼. She was not popular for her parenting style AT ALL. Many people judged her and claimed she was abusive and too restrictive. But, only she knew how immature we were. So, she pressed on.
Danish is brilliant, I spent 18 years with my ex husband, all of my 20s and into my 30s had absolutely NOBODY who could begin to understand, what lonely life. Thank God for a life of freedom. God bless you Danish you have been an incredible blessing to me for about a year now.
No kidding without freedom life is very draining, I speak my mind, my narc's learning to accept my intelligence, there's worse things in life, unbelivable they'd rather you dumb, makes no sense!
Funny aye and you're too stunned to do much, it's bewildering, you have to wonder how he thought he'd ever get away with that, old pro, done it so often in the past no dought!
My ex did the same. I would say something random to him and by the end of his reply he would say...well I thought of that first. These people make your eyeballs spin!😵💫😵💫😵💫
So many things i wish i knew decades ago. If youre under 40- pay attention, heal, run! My life is lived, the damage is done. I probably dont have 10 good years left but theyre full of grief and loss at the hands of cruel people. The destruction of every relationship you have will come after they sufficiently destroy you. Get away before its too late. It never gets better, they never get better.
imo, the absolutely most cruel thing about the narcissist experience, is that narcissist abuse entails 4 layers: a) the abuse itself b) the denial, blame-gaming and gaslighting by the narcissist c) enablers, be it family, friends, co-workers who turn a blind eye/trivialize your lived experiences. d) the accompanying mental and physical ailments that happen during and after the narcissist experience. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁
My dad who raised me was a narc. My ex-husband was a narc. After the divorce, I only dated 2 or 3 guys. By the time I was 30, I wrote this poem. It takes a good break up, to really get a Wake up, & Realize the reality of men They're all a bunch of jerks, with the most sincerest quirks. I hope I don't fall for this again.... Then I wrote... They don't love you, they just sex you, They're all a bunch of pigs.... I wrote this poem 40 yrs ago, before narcissism was defined. Then I went to true believer, Christian churches & dated 2 "Christian," guys, at different times, ... Same thing!!🤷🤷🤷. By then, I saw the red flags... & Didn't fall for their garbage. I saw the red flags, bcz I have discernment. Today, I'll be 70 in a few weeks. I haven't dated in 30+ yrs., & I don't miss it. The Lord is the Father of the fatherless, & Husband of the husbandless. He provides for me, physically and emotionally, & financially!! 🌟💗🌟💗🌟💗
Im a very empathic person i dont know how to defend myself sometimes from these narcisist people, but ive become more self aware of their manipulation tactics.
I hate them! I started to have a good relationship with my parents, after I left my ex malignant narcissist!!! They are not worth talking about. Praise the Lord! ❤ May God bless you and your loved ones 😊
When I called the police, they were budding up to my ex. because they went to school together. He was choking me and his sister came in and saved me. She called the police and they didn't give a crap about me, it was old home week.
They say compliments about you to make their insults believable. Drop a compliment, divert all credit to themselves, unload a hail of insults. Fake cry😢. Say they love you SOOOO much but you are SOOOO difficult to get along with and SOOOO ungrateful for all they've done for you. Works every time! 🥴
She said im a fraud introvert because im not always quiet around her and should learn to be a real introvert and only reply... i was just comfortable around her and she made me hate myself for it 😞 Then whenever i would fall into that closed off self of mine? She would ask "why aren't you talking??" "You're so hard to read" "You're not good at initiating" and shame for me for every trait in these ways! She compares me to her Ex's a lot, especially the last one who left her, "he was calm and quiet" yet she admitted they would also fight a lot... She "never insulted anyone before me" yet that ex called her toxic... She would ask me the deepest and probe like questions and get answer after answer from me and then I would get nothing back... i "couldn't be trusted with her answers" It felt violating opening up so much and then being shut down when I asked about her. She would praise strangers online for the things that they say which I already said! It was shrugged off when I brought it up.
This was very helpful and confirms my experience that psychological abuse can have a devastating effect on our psyche. I have also experienced attempts to create situations where the narcissist seeks to "accidentally" harm his target where vehicles are used as a weapon. I also suffered a horrific trauma when the perpetrator invited me on a hike and after I asked him for his hand, while I was ascending the face of a cliff, he dropped by hand just before I reached the top of the cliff. I braced the fall by grabbing the root of a tree. He never rushed to grab me, apologize, or express concern about how I was after the incident. Two days later, he denied the incident ever happened and began circulating rumours that he was concerned about my mental health as I was "making up stories" about something that never happened on a hike to the waterfalls. Another major gaslighting incident in my life that has been deeply traumatizing.
I healed from my narcissist father and multiple narcissist partners. I know what to look for and avoid. Now I've had an NPD person in a position of power at work become insecure about me and abuse me with the help of his minions 🙄 At least I know exactly what I'm dealing with and why, so the recovery shall be faster. Sending love and healing to everyone going through recovery at the moment ❤
My spouse never complimented me. I used to tell myself in front of him that i am beautiful and he would just give small smile. Now i understand that since he wasnt complimenting me, i was complimenting myself.
Danish, wow, you hit on their actions exactly!!! You are such a good soul, and you went through so much emotional pain growing up. If you were my child, I would be so proud of you - - - I am now and have never met you.
Horrible, their repeating talks is the first thing I thought' what is this sick thing am I nuts or?' These repeating patterns are so annoying and childish, you start to doubt yourself. Than realize you aren't nuts but see it's Hom or her. Still stuck. I found it like hamsters running in their cage totally confused ' robitc toy or something. Very inhumane scary as hell, bless you ❤
Yes true he did first thing with my cooking. I spoiled 20years in kitchen to get his approval. Now I know him, I started to believe in myself alhamdulilla .
I haven't cooked for mine in over a decade, even a salad was negatively commented upon, if I cleaned I got do you have to do that now? No no I don't, I don't have to do it at all! (I do though, not me the pig and doesn't he play clean freak😂!)
The difficult people lost their power when I finally realized that they thought I was seeking their approval. My actions, thoughts, and words shifted to being accountable for myself because no one else will do it for me. I know that the narcissists are not normal.
One outstanding memory I have: I had given birth to our first son only one month beforehand and was pushing him in his pram. We were at a clothing shop. My ex held up a pair of hotpants type shorts in front of a young, perfect looking lady and her partner, while facing me. He loudly exclaimed "See, these are the type of clothes I find sexy, but you can't wear them coz you're too fat". I was 172 pounds at 5'7". Wished I could have been swallowed up by the floor in that moment. One more proof I would never be loved for who I was.
Sir, you are such a genius in understanding what a narcissist does. What you describe here, is exactly how I have been treated for almost 13 years of marriage, to the degree that many times he told me to put my diplomas in the toilet as there is no use of them. Anything I cook, he will critisize, i sing, others admire the God- given voice , I play on the piano, he and his mother would say I needed to practice more even though I used to play in a church with more than 160 proplr. He has destroyed me so badly, that I feel no strength to leave him and go. He haa been like an envious monster to me whose only goal of marrying me was to make me suffer, cut ftom my mother until she passed away and family, make me feel like rubbish, and now he is working on estramging my kids from me. Thsnk you so much for your videos as gor 13 years of suffering I was trying to figure out why my life was turned upside down after being so loved snd respected by many people, it came out I was rubbish who can't do anything. 😢😢😢
My virtual hugs for all dear survivors.. We are all a team. Nevet lose hope. Appreciate and love yourself more for where u have been now. Stay strong and blessed. Never feel alone. Our energy s are same and connected😊
Thankyou for sharing this, Danish 💜😮💨😮💨🗣️ We wish others would understand this especially care to know. 😥Truly the most important and difficult part and why it takes so long to recognize and recover from.🙏
Wow 😮 The monster I've lived with for years did that to me. I am an interior designer, I was doing very well at my job and I was happy, until this monster started to devalue me. I watched a television program about interior design and he sat down to watch it, but it wasn't because he liked it, but to compare my work with that of the program. Some of his words were: you think you can do that, I think not, you don't have the talent to do something like that. He did that with all my projects for years and made me doubt my ability to do my job. and suddenly I started to lose interest in what I liked and quit my job. At that time I didn't know anything about narcissism, but now I do. Thank you for your videos, they are very helpful.
We all tend to get the acknowledgment from our partners which is y we get this abuse . I too was belittled more when Infact I was achieving more in profession Pls restart your profession and you r your own approver praiser guide
That explains everything I always wondered what and why it all felt wrong but I couldn’t put my finger straight on it . I thought I was going overthinking seeings and hearing things. But no it wasn’t a mistake. He was really abusing me on purpose twenty four seven. I’ve been out of the relationship three months now I have been healing tremendously. Thank you 🙏🏼 danish for your channel.
When he use to do this i would play narc abuse videos out loud normally in the car detailing what he was doing he HATED IT!!! i did in the end have to stop as was becoming to dangerous so wouldn't advise anyone do the same thing! he use to rage out of control he nearly crashed the car like as on numerous occasions as he couldnt control the rage after sustaining such a narcissistic injury truth hurts
Danish, thank God I found your channel. Everything about my MIL is finally make sense now. The damage for all her psychological abuse is no joke. We rarely meet, but it's always feel like walking on eggshells around her, and she often treated me like I'm her rival, if not comparing myself with her daughters. Thankfully my husband's always on my side.
I was raised by a narcissistic mother. My brother would do something similar to me and he would get all the praise. I married and divorced a narcissist as well as got with a violent narcissist afterwards. I came home excited for getting a raise. I was told so what! Then I was made fun of for a job that “anybody “ could do. I learned to keep my happiness to myself and only talk about what he wants until I was able to get out of dodge! We went on dates and the entire time he was on the phone. He told me that I was uninteresting when I complained about it. When I was given a gift it was usually something I wasn’t interested in. I had a jewelry business and he gave me plastic earrings. He got me a jacket and said I knew you liked skulls. I don’t. I like roses 🌹 and feminine things.
Perfectly said . I lived 18 yrs of marriage with the Narc who never praised for what ever I contributed .. I work , raising two sons and take care of all home chores by myself as daughter in-law wife and mother and he never acknowledged me Infact he always put ms me down and belittled all the time.. which his family also encouraged. I came out of this worst relationship I believe Indian culture is a brooding hub for Narcissists in the name of family system .
Woow Danish sometimes I think you were the fly on my walls.You seem to know everything I have experienced,the complimenting random people out of nowhere without complimenting me,,the putting down and devaluing a particular person who is in my field of work,The side ways comment telling me there's a reason people go to school to study for what I do as a hobby(seriously guys if I like singing to unwind and during my free time must I really go to music school just because there's people literally going to school to study music?).To making nasty comments at the gifts I bought for them(this one really stung) and telling me I can't take jokes and I'm too sensitive.
My mother made fun of my father and of myself. Slhe didn't like people who were smarter than her. My father avoided her, he was hardly ever home. But she never thought for a moment the reason for his absence was her behaviour.
We love you Danish. We can't thank you enough for your help. Truly. It's Really Bad for me. Police, Protective Services, The Courts, etc. etc. Thank you for helping me Survive. I'm still not sure I will...
Yes and no , he complemented me on my cooking after a nasty fight so i kept cooking! This to me is the nice guy narc! daring you a while before but still want to make effort on the household skills! Its truly ridiculous! So many kinds of narcs though. Poker face when others arrive into your home. Playing the good waiter at home so others say' oh he is so gentle to us vistitors ' your man is so helpful.. its so imsulting
When I earned my M.S. degree, my father said, "Well, my counselor has 2 master degrees." I thought, good for her, with you as a client, she will need them both.
Narcisstic Emotional Abuse: 1.Never acknowledge you (only put downs) 2.Abuse by proxy (shaming) 3.Devaluation personalize compare you negatively 4.Talk at you not with you dismissive of what you have to say 5.Accept your gifts half heartedly, nothing is good enough 6.Purposely make group fun of you (target) never loves
Thanks, nice, true, deep knowledge of evil human behaviour that how they ruin other innocent person to down them emotionally, mentally n only after that they feel satisfied n superior in their own self.
2,3,4,& 5 all happened yes. But 6 was more a very shocking public humiliation of me in front of restaurant staff all women. I knew he said it for that purpose. And all the women present heard it. He denied it of course!
The golden child role may change due to years... My mother used to brag about me and my family... My divorse degraded me. My sister married when 48 and got a new golden child role.
Actually, in the first scenario, I always pick up on the fact that their praise of the other person is insincere and done to spite me, and so I play dumb and praise them along with them 😂
My dad wouldn't halfheartedly accept a gift, he would begrudgingly accept it. Now thank him for the gift you gave him or REEEEEEEEEEEEE! The raging begins again.
The worst thing ,is they can not stand to take blame ..no matter what it is they’ve done,if they think ur on to them..they go..shall I go,and walk off like sulky child will not speaks for days like kids ..they literally are crazy ,u have better luck reasoning with a pit bull ,who’s not eaten for a week ,trust mine was that bad crazy freaks .
Danish..ur vids have been life changing for me..I been married for 10 hellish years and I just want out of it now. Do u offer 1 to 1 counselling sessions perhaps..my situation is very unique and would love if I could book a session with u for further advice. Thank you
He threatened, hed bring up outcomes of sinister movies like the movie Phyco, Channeling with Angelina Joli, bringing up others in his life that have a criminal background and some serious crimes. Warning not to piss him off when I'd question him or something he said prior and contradicted it. He'd say, " Everything goes his way, and he is a talented liar,"gifted liar" He also believed God gave him the assignment to punish for sin.
Can you please be done with the obsessions like how do narcissists sleep, how they treat pets, how they walk naked, how they poop etc and give us something actually valuable like how to response and act to save ourselves from them in specific situations?
@Muricanecount: First victims must wake up to truth of who they are dealing with. Victims first need validation & closure bcs we will NEVER get it from the narc. THEN how to’s on how to survive. Knowledge = power. It is the largest part of escaping & going NO CONTACT. If you are awake & know you are in an abusive narc situation, then LEAVE. Thats how to deal with it. During the time you must stay, go grey rock, see the predictable patterns of their behavior, get your plan of escape going ( secretly) .
My husband tells people that he is the only one that ever got up with our children in the night when they were sick or had nightmares. He also says that he went to all the teacher meetings and after school events. According to Him he was some sort of Super Dad. This is SO far from the truth it is funny/sad.
I'm suffering from my narrcisstic roomates and I'm the victim since 7 months I've been realised that I become their prey to abuse amd when i try to left the house then they manipulated me and even I'm not comfortable with living them i had to stay nd then in present they've cross the limit they try to involve me in some matter were i didn't even do that , his friend threatened me that I've talking to a girl in college which i never did try to talk to any girl , the girls who i talked they all are my friends, i deep down some how figure out that they got into these by their pre planned work and now i don't want to stay in any further long i have enough of these I don't have enough confidence to fight back but i had to do it for myself I'm leaving my room , i didn't manage to explain the whole thing but I've mange to explained it for you to understand . I want your pov in these I'm i doing the right thing and how i can handling the situation where am in ? Please comment
A social climber narcissist is exhausting to end up in any kind of relationship with. For example some post secondary students end up in an internship like that when becoming a physician. I met a hispanic mother of a student once who confided in us there about how much her son was going through soon after Mr. Trump got elected. He succeeded anyway. Not everyone has an adequate support system right away to reach their goals.
One instance: my narc partner, “why can’t you have her figure?” Me: 😞 .. I wasn’t fat, I had a nice figure. Another instance: my narc partner, “so, what are you good at? Absolutely nothing, you aren’t even a good mother” Me: “I am a good mother ‘ Him: “ that’s what you think “ Me: “ not what I think I KNOW I’m a good mum” Him: “ wow, What you think & what you think you know,are the same thing” Me: ………………
