If Toothpaste Ads Were Honest - Honest Ads 

What the host is trying to do 1 explain what the product is in a literal way 2 show how they market the thingy 3 tell us he is roger

“Try some Horton brand *burn* water”

Fun fact; Listerine started out as floor cleaner. Then it was an antiseptic. And then mouthwash. The recipe has not changed in the better part of a century.

This guy is slowly turning me into a hipster.

My dentist once told me that, "tooth paste is like shark repellent. It doesn't really do anything, but it makes you feel better." Best dentist I ever had.

Old man was a dentist. Filled me in that it was the brushing, not the goo that is really important. The goo just makes it more pleasant. Also, yes, he got those phone calls. "Would you recommend...?" and it is all in the way they word it. "Would you recommend to patients that they brush with over not brushing at all?" Well, yeah. "There you have it folks! 9/10 dentists recommend brushing with brand x!" Makes you wonder about the 1.

“Motherfucking Jesus goo” I was dying

"The pain let's you know that no one knows whether it's working..."

"We can't afford that s***!". I'm dead.

I brush my teeth with sulfuric acid. My teeth are so clean they're invisible!

Here is another fact: the reality is the amount “needed” is the size of a pea, but ads always show the amount resembling a 🐛 .

It’s amazing how the simple use of the word “goo” can change your idea drastically instead of “paste”

No one cuts the Roge off short

how about if the government was honest ? now that's a good one

When he said “Hortons antiseptic burn water” I literally sprayed the drink out of my mouth.

I love how in all of these videos he never actually calls the product by its actual name

How about 'If razor ads were honest'?

As a Great Depression child my mother used baking soda to clean her teeth. She had perfect teeth.

People who brush their teeth without wetting their toothbrushes.....are you ok ??

Solid video, but who swallows their mouthwash? 🤮

I guess Cracked missed the memo: Happy Birthday is public domain as of last year.

You forgot to mention the part where only a "pea sized" portion of toothpaste is required to effectively deliver the required fluoride (not all municipalities have it in drinking water) when every toothpaste commercial ever shows at least 4x that much on the brush. The size of a toothpaste tube opening is actually federally regulated because of the ridiculously huge amounts of toothpaste that the companies tried to get people to believe was normal.

But be honest, you don't want your breath to smell like trash?

"Mouthbone Sand" is a good name for a band.

Flavored Burn Water, lmfao

"We can't afford that shit." lol, yeah happy birthday is copyrighted.

I got an Oral-B commercial before watching this

Roger is the best part of cracked

What pisses me off most, is if you want just basic functional toothpaste without all the extra shit put into it, you have to pay like FIVE TIMES MORE. For the same product WITH LESS THINGS MIXED IN IT!! *HAARRUMPH!!*

Seeing Cracked pop up in my feed is like seeing an ad for a Best Western. So modern yet so nostalgic

nooooo...not toothpaste! I already feel guilty drinking coffee

pretty sure Listerine was originally FLOOR CLEANER.

Roger has to do febreeze! It's the Most disgust product... covering up filth with a pleasant scent

Oh my god. "Mouth bone sand" killed me. I was literally in tears. 😂😂😂

I've been binging these for the last few days. This is my favorite so far.

Uhmm, doesnt the teeth and mouth become acidic due to breakdown of starch in the mouth due to salivary amylase.. and the basic nature of the mouth goo (ph of 10) neutralises it? Thats what i learnt in pre med

Too bad that the copyright for the birthday song expired last year. So hum away.

How to descend into madness 1st step : watch Vsauce 2nd step : watch honest ads

First new Honest Ads since 2017 now live here!!! ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-_riGg2BW8Jw.html

Brushing your teeth definitely has benefits. It's more the brushing action breaking up plaques and trapped food than anything in the toothpaste itself. The toothpaste mostly just makes it not taste like nasty tooth buildup.

My absolute favourite! Please do a piece on the funeral industry. They prey on the guilt, grief, and shock of those who have lost a loved one. C'mon Roger, tell us the truth about it.

I used to get about three cavities a year. Then I started thoroughly brushing and flossing once before bed, and flossing and removing gunk from my teeth when eating messy food, and I can go a decade without a cavity now.

The trick to getting the last little bit out is to cut the end off. And for the last two or three times you dip the toothbrush right in there. Take it from me I am turbo cheap.

I am a dentist who is doing postgraduate study in Dentistry if you clean your teeth with toothbrush and water would give the same results of preventing caries like brushing with toothpaste

I just want to make a solid gold idol in his honour....and then advertise it so that people will buy mini versions of his likeness. I'll also cheat my customers by only gold-*plating* clay Roger figures instead of it being totally gold.

I remember my cousin dentist that toothpaste is not as necessary as a good brushing technique unless you are having issues like sensitive tooth of stuff like that (even though you can fix it with dietary changes).

What I know is I was terrible about brushing my teeth when I was younger. Got a punch of cavities. As I got older I brushed and flossed my teeth regularly. No cavities. I think it is pretty obvious it works. Not sure why they imply it might not....

The honest ads are my fav series from Cracked. They're hilarious!! 😂😂😂

if business was a person it would be Roger

My dentist said not to buy market toothpaste since it's just foam and scratches your teeth. Suggested buying from pharmacy proper paste

This might be my favorite so far. So well written and performed. I'd love to see Horton on shaving cream/gel/soap...

My favorite mouth bone paste is the kind that numbs the sensitivity indicating a cavity. That way the opening of my digestive tract can rot in blissful ignorance while I binge on Netflix and meth ;)

It's always a pleasure to wake up in the morning and get Rogered while still on the toilet

“The pains lets you know that no one knows whether it’s working” 😂😂

"If you're like me your mouth tastes almost turd-like" I'm dying 😂😂😂😂

NO... "MEGA-SUDSY-SPARKLE-F*KING-JESUS TOOTHPASTE" ...DYING :D :D

as someone that didn't brush his teeth for like 20 years. let me tell you do it.

You know, without brushing our teeth... I’ve seen the results. My own aunt doesn’t have a natural tooth left in her skull. She went without brushing her entire life and that’s what it got her.

These videos are my new favorite thing to watch after coming home from my awful 9/5 job at a grocery store

I got a toothpaste ad before this vid

If Rogers true identity were honest I kinda want to know more about this funny and charismatic man

I love the honest ads. Sad that there haven’t been any new ones for a few years

I got a literal Toothpaste Ad before and after the video. It seems you have done us well by telling us.

Actually Happy Birthday is public domain now.

Oh Horton. You must have a trillion dollars.

I’m sure dentists would prefer you use Crest than a fluoride free toothpaste

Even when they're completely unrelated, I always get a kick out of how transparent the preroll ads seem before watching these

Haha Roger had my laughing at "Burn water"! That's exactly what it is!!

This guy has got some good sketches, ive almost seen them all and i cant get enough.

Pro Clinical Optic White Gum Detox works best, followed by a shot of vodka. Gargle before swallowing.

Just the opening alone is already made me laugh, of Rodger explaining why goes into toothpaste. Rodger is the advertisement guy we all wish we had, but doesn't exist outside of the real world. I just wish more people were honest like Rodger, even though he's an actor who plays that way.

Fun fact: “Colgate” means “hang yourself” in Spanish

My favorite toothpaste is Horton Brand Mouth Bone Goo.

Brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack!

I needed this laugh. Thank you! Glad I found this channel.

If the scented Candle Industry was honest. I mean $24 for 22 oz of wax in a glass jar .... REALLY????

When it is almost gone, I just cut off the opening

This honest ads are great 😂👌🏼 Keep it coming

If employment descriptions were honest: “Entry-level position”? That’s just double speak for low-paying. “Great for graduates.”? Same as above. “For those looking for a career change.” As a new person with zero knowledge you’ll essentially be an intern and if you’re lucky make more than minimum wage. “We promote from within.”? That means we hire across the street (rival companies) or our personal friends in the office who know nothing. “Many ways of being paid same day.”? That means it is a commission-only position. “We care about our employees.” That’s just filler to make our ad look like is has meaning. “We are involved in the community with many charities.” We pay you less so we can donate to the community, as a deductible making us more money, we get good public will, and find more idiots who will work for less, but have pride in their employer. And finally “Management works closely with you every step of the way.” Why that just means we are attempting to get maximum work out of you and when you’re positioned to earn more we find the next person willing to work for less.

Roger needs his own show as well. He is to good for this two bit internet site.

Had a Colgate add just before the video played

I'd like it if he said in these types of videos, what a healthy alternative would be. Maybe at the end? I understand so many products are simply garbage for humans, but everyone needs to clean their mouth somehow, yes?

This one isn’t that great. I’ll rather brush and floss knowing my mouth is clean than assume it’s all fluff. I’m sure the motion of the brush, alone, is a huge improvement to do nothing. Also, I tend to get tooth paste from dollar tree, so no real harm done taking the safe route on this one. Mouth wash is not needed, though. I agree.

I just drink pure fluoride and snort a bump of silica in the morning.my tooth looks great

Yea, I'm still going to brush my teeth...with toothpaste.

Please bring this series back for 2021.

I just love these honest ads. More please. I'd love to see them on mainstream Media. 😁

“Speaking of packaging, How do you like that goo-tube?” Hahahahahah😂😂

How dare you! DON'T INTERUPT ROGER EVER AGAIN! The man is a world treasure! Show him the respect he deserves!

i watched this while brushing me teeth. yum

i just found out about this channel and this video made me watch another 20

IF CRACKED WAS HONEST

Roger, I love you! You are a true American! Telling the truth in a funny way!

When it is at this 10%, I just cut off the end and get the rest out with my brush.

You Are Awesome!!!!!!!!! Keep up the Great work !!!

is roger running for the presidency. i think he was announcing it at the end before they cut him off.

So true! A while ago I asked my mom who is a dental hygienist what kind of toothpaste is best, and she said it doesn't matter. You really ought to regularly brush and floss though. Even if you don't get cavities, I can tell by someone's gums when they don't have proper dental hygiene...

The truth and all the truth!! Love this channel!!

Highest level of sarcasm served.

Goo Tube, Plastic debt rectangle... My new list of vocabularies is growing!