"im happy aren't you happy" scene from 500 days of summer. Uploaded as a Copyright disclaimer. PS. LABELS does it matter and please dont take this down let me be reminded that labels matter.
Summer was careless with Tom's feelings but he has to take responsibility for breaking his own heart too. "Are you okay?" The answer should be no. "Who cares?" The answer should be me. "I'm happy, aren't you happy?" The answer should be no. He's not honest with himself and he's not saying what he feels. This movie has some beautiful lessons but unfortunately I think a lot of people walk away only seeing what Summer did wrong, and not what Tom did to hurt himself.
I k it is a bit late to respond to ur comment but yeah its true we always blame others for hurting us but we never give ourselves any chance to protect ourself.
In order to volunteer for 10+ hours a week, you need to be able to afford it. This is the Universal Basic Income. Let’s give volunteers a guaranteed minimum income of $1,500ish USD/month. So they can make our communities better. KGH
I could be reading too far into this, but I think even the position of the camera on Summer vs. Tom refers to the differences in their feelings about their relationship. The shot of summer is outside of the car; she is not emotionally invested in their connection, she may even have one foot out the door. While the shot of Tom is inside the car as he only wants her and is committed to only her. I'm not sure if that is what the director intended but that is how I interpreted the scene!
Interesting observation, the camera pans out between different shots of Summer though. Some are from inside of the car and others outside of it. I see two other ways this scene could be interpreted: The car, being a symbol of masculinity, represents Tom's mind. In it, there are two versions of Summer: the introject and the real external Summer. In this scene Tom alternates between interacting with Summer's introject and the real Summer. The first shot from the outside is when Summer responds in a way that's not how Tom would have liked for her to respond. Another way to look at the car is that it being a symbol of masculinity represents a male-dominated, traditional relationship, which Tom tries to establish with Summer. Tom is the driver of the car after all. He is asking "what are we" and the shots from the outside begin when Summer is not willing to confine herself fully to the structure of a relationship he desires. Regardless of which way one looks at this scene, it is clear that Tom is dishonest in answering Summer's questions. In this entire film Summer is not given an opportunity to respect Tom's boundaries because Tom never expresses them and expects her to magically know his desires, wants and needs. Summer is often presented as the manic pixie dream girl but I love the fact how miserably she fails at that magical function. Summer isn't an omniscient perfect woman that could guess Tom's needs and effortlessly meet them like a mother does with a pre-verbal child. Summer fails to be the pixie that forsees Tom's unexpressed desires. But she does end up giving him something he much needed - a lesson in honest communication. That's why the debate on whether Summer is a manic pixie dream girl or not might never be settled because she does end up meeting a need he never expressed or even knew he had.
i remember one of the actors said that if you sided with tom you must rewatch it again, and i agree. it wasnt just summers fault, i think it was also toms. he wanted more out of summer and was fantasizing a relationship with her even though she said she wasn't ready / she didn't wanna take it seriously.
i don't side with either tom or summer i call out both of them out, but most people have a problem with calling out summer when she is clearly at fault by playing with Tom's feelings when she said she doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings first she says that she doesn't want anything serious then goes on doing serious stuff in the disguise of a casual relationship.
As much as I love this film, I also love how it has become this cultural conversation piece. Any comment section of a 500 DOS clip is genuinely thoughtful.
That's wonderful. The movie was cute, sad, happy and very thoughtful. People who have seen it, who have also found themselves in a comment section for even just a clip like this one, still discuss this movie. I loved this movie. It's lesson was beautifully relatable to every one who watched it.
I know right? I love it!!! Sometimes I’d just have the random urge to search up a scene from the movie and I can scroll for hours reading the analysis of Tom and Summer’s relationships. It’s like a standard for romantic movies that actually portray a realistic relationship.
What I like in this movie are the small nuances and details throughout. Summer told Tom she didn’t want to be serious during the IKEA scene. At first he has awesome sex, so he forgets about it. Then he has concerns and asks her in the car but he doesn’t follow through. Finally, he loses it when she tells him how immature he was from getting into a fight. Tom gets extremely mad and they have a major fight. They go to see the graduate. Summer after seeing the movie dumps Tom.
I think I understand both. They just have different views and want different things. For Summer it doesn’t make sense to name this or put it in a box because she doesn’t believe in love and she feels good with how they are now, how they call it won’t make any difference for her. While he needs reassurance that this is gonna last because he feels they are growing closer and doesn’t want to lose this, or end up like a fool if he falls deeper.
This scene hits close to home. I can't believe I already watched the movie a couple of times yet scenes like this keep happening to me later on in real life. It's like my inner voice is now telling me "haven't you learned anything from watching this film?". I swear, so many scenes in this movie happened to me in real life.
Because of this movie I decided to go on a relationship even clearly know that I will end up as Tom. But as Summer says "who cares?", yeah who cares when all we have is this moment. Just enjoy it to the fullest.
This is great! We have to feal being in love as it does not happen that often in life and we have to feel heatbreak too as it is part of life and part of the human experiance....we just have to feel it all
Breaking your own heart is not worth doing. It IS better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but going in with the intention of breaking your own heart is not good - it will destroy your self-esteem and rob you and the world from the best version of yourself. The takeaway away is to **love yourself**, too. You cannot truly love others and respect others if you cannot/will not do that for yourself. It will be hollow. Tell this person how you feel, and what is happening, and then walk away from the relationship with kindness for them and for your own self. Live consciously. Your life partner - someone who is there in the same place emotionally - will come in time. Don't force it. Best of luck to you.
There is no villain in the story. Just people with their own flaws which just seem to clash with each other. Morally gray, neither good or bad. If anybody takes a side with either Tom or Summer, they’re sort of missing the point of the movie.
The biggest mistake of Tom was he ignored all the red flags summer gave to him just because he was wearing rose tinted glasses, it's a lesson to all of that we should not be blind in love but fully analyse either the person we are approaching, approaching us or not.
he was too caught up in the logistics of the relationship. just enjoy people for the period of time they are with u. everything could be so simple if you would allow it to be
Thats a really good point. Nice comment. Need to learn that for myself as well instead of trying to make myself feel like people should stay. Not everything is meant to last and you just have to let things be.
No what Tom was doing at the beginning was the right thing. He wanted a better understanding of their relationship. By not talking about it, this leads into the other problems later in the film because they have different assessments of where they are.
@@Andrea-fd2bw I was referring to this scene specifically. It is not wrong to ask for an update after time passed, especially with a relationship as undefined as theirs was.
@@imajed1 but she also said she was sure of something she saw in her husband that she never saw in Tom. She always wanted him to do better by following his dreams of being an architect but he was too comfortable with writing cards.
@@khaalidcolbie So all of a sudden she wants Tom to do something better with his life than just with writing cards but at the beginning she doesn’t even want a serious relationship with Tom just Hookup and Friends with benefits.
@@sakuragi1062 yes, but he wasn't willing to better himself so she never opened up to the idea of dating him. She never had the intention of or even believed in falling in love until she got to know her husband
I have never seen this movie besides the other clip with the smiths. This one minute clip hits harder than I thought it would. I hold back from my hopeless romantic thoughts with anyone I find a connection with. I don't want to mess anything up by rushing to express my feeling about someone but keeping shut has led to more downsides than anything. I'm 24 so I can't say I've given up but I'm trying to shift my attention away from that and maybe something comes along organically. I'll definitely watch this movie, Ill come back to this and post my thoughts. Cheers. Edit: This movie hurtsss to the core! With me she didn’t want anything serious because of school but after some time she now has a boyfriend. We can’t even be friends anymore because of it…she doesn’t want me in her life at all. It’s weird how everything went. Looking back I see it wasn’t perfect and I should’ve taken myself out of that situation. She didn’t want to FaceTime, could go days without texting me, didn’t want to hang out locally, no mention of the future, zero talk about how much she likes me. Of course, I wasn’t perfect and evidently not the guy for her. It just always leaves us with the question, Why? She knows and she’ll never tell us. I’ve learned that no strings attached is something I’m not interested in anymore. I’ll tell you what, this movie opened my eyes to my foolish ways of thinking. Life isn’t a fairytale, things just happen.
@glassbluebird8192 thank you for your words and solid advice! Loving myself is something I thought I always did, now I know that not to be the case. I don’t think I’m good enough, when things go well with someone I want to keep that going even if it means holding back how I truly feel. Thanks again for the reply :).
I think it’s important you realize that she doesn’t have to tell you why. It sucks and it’s human nature to wonder but it would probably just end up hurting you more. She might not even be able to explain it if she tried. It’s just like the end of the movie, “you never wanted to be someone’s girlfriend and now you’re someone’s wife” “well I just woke up one day and I knew”
I guess unrequited love happens for a reason, that's what this film shows. I've dealt with it a few times and I'm only just starting to learn what I need and break down the illusions 💔
Let's take a step back. One could be very harsh and judgemental towards each of them: Tom wanted something and could have noticed as a grown man that Summer didn't want to commit to that. Summer wanted somebody who was ready to commit to her but without having to reciprocate that. But love can be that way. Love is not a perfect solution, not a compromise reached at the negotiation table. It just happens or it doesn't. And then, yes. We have to be critical of how relationships are portrayed in the stories we consume on a daily basis. But does this movie offer cheap excuses to us? Does it help us hold up toxic behaviour in our own lives? We bring our pasts into every discussion, and that means we bring our wounds with us. And some people's wounds have been touched by this movie. But if you want to be happy, if you want to be loved: Will you get closer to that by winning a heated discussion in a comment section? I wish you all the best. Reach out to the ones who show you their affection and have a nice day.
This scene just reminds me of how much of a “Summer” I was during the relationship and suddenly became a Tom right after. Broke up last week (6/10), still trying to get her back (6/20)
She left him because he was complacent and lacked ambition. He wanted her because he was afraid to have ambition. Ultimately, she did him a favor. I love how this film changes as you grow. In my 20s I hated her. Now in my 30s, I understand why she did it.
I don't think that's why they were different. Summer wanted something short and sweet with Tom. Tom wanted it to last forever. Summer wanted to have an experience with Tom. If Tom wanted the same thing, they would have been happy for a short while and parted ways with no hard feelings.
@@sieteocho I think we're kind of saying the same thing but I understand what you mean. However, this is generally how most relationships start, as a fling. Despite what their intentions were in the beginning, it could have lasted. But she left because she didn't see a future with him because he never showed her one. He told her he wanted to be an architect which in many ways is why it turned out this way. She didnt want to be the reason he never reached that goal. It's never explicitly stated but you have to watch for subtext. Like at the party that she threw, she was telling people he wants to be an architect. That didnt mean anything to him because he just wanted to be with her. But that told us as the viewer how much she valued his goals and his future. But again its very subtle injections like that that make this film so fantastic.
@@jackjack121 My theory is quite different. She wanted a short fling from the very beginning, and there were more important reasons why she got tired of him. The chief reason was the way he was behaving throughout the movie: being obsessed with her, not really getting to know her better but instead being too emotionally invested in the continuation of the relationship. Being possessive. Generally being annoying.
@@sieteocho You're correct, but again there' more to it than that. That's the overtone or what's made obvious. And that's typical of most relationships. Yes, people can break up for those reasons, but people date other people that are annoying, obsessive, or possessive and remain together. That's not really why she left. That's a very black/white way of thinking about it. If it were just that, it'd be like any other generic romance film. Why this film stands out is due to the subtle nuances as explained in my previous comment. Your intentions going into a relationship don't determine the outcome. Just because she wanted a fling doesn't mean that they were destined to fail. She knew he had potential and he was just using her as a way to validate his lack of motivation. Much like the Summer time; you just want to relax and do nothing. That's why the film ended the way it did. When he finally decided to follow his dreams of becoming an architect and leave "Summer" behind, "Autumn" came. He wanted Summer to last forever and she didn't want to be the reason he couldn't move forward in his life. This is very human film and hits almost every layer of a real-life relationship experience.
Rewatched it from summers perspective and while yes she could of been more sensitive , she did tell him what it was from the start. Tom could of just enjoyed what was but his perception of how things should of been was already determined in his head based of what he believe love was. It also doesn’t help the fact that he saw summer as not someone to enjoy his time with but the solution to all his current problems. All in all a solid movie that I highly recommended anyone and everyone to watch
@@Prince-jc6wc if I tell you not to stick a fork in a wall socket and you say okay, then you do it anyway, are your injuries my fault because I didn’t take the time to explain it to you again before you did it?
@@Prince-jc6wc if I tell you not to stick a fork in a wall socket and you say okay, then you do it anyway, are your injuries my fault because I didn’t take the time to explain it to you again before you did it?
Quelqu'un M'a Dit by Carla Bruni. Whole movie has a great soundtrack. You were nobody on the indie scene in 2009 if you weren’t listening to Regina Spektor and feist
Let's take a step back. One could be very harsh and judgemental towards each of them: Tom wanted something and could have noticed as a grown man that Summer didn't want to commit to that. Summer wanted somebody who was ready to commit to her but without having to reciprocate that. But love can be that way. Love is not a perfect solution, not a compromise reached at the negotiation table. It just happens or it doesn't. And then, yes. We have to be critical of how relationships are portrayed in the stories we consume on a daily basis. But does this movie offer cheap excuses to us? Does it help us hold up toxic behaviour in our own lives? We bring our pasts into every discussion, and that means we bring our wounds with us. And some people's wounds have been touched by this movie. But if you want to be happy, if you want to be loved: Will you get closer to that by winning a heated discussion in a comment section? I wish you all the best. Reach out to the ones who show you their affection and have a nice day.
The moral of this is don’t be mesmerized by someone pretty who treats u like shit. Move on. Bill burr always puts it best. The way to look at it is the second your out of a relationship with someone who treats u bad, that’s one less day wasted on being with someone u won’t spend the rest of ur life with. Like ur not gonna get stuck raising kids with the shitty person who steps all over u.
summer was a total emotionless robot bruh and a scam toms only mistake was trusting her :( just watched the movie and it really gives the best lesson your hapiness should not be dependant on anyone else !
@@AriEugene idk she didn't felt that he loves her so much , isn't that being emotionless i mean she didn't even tells him anything and avoids talking about love which means summer knew everything and still did that.. I think that's bad
Yeah, but she didn't say that she didn't want one here, she just said "I don't know what's going on, who cares?" And he's got a point, you don't have sex with your friends lol
@@israelcastelan4012 I used to be a yes man when it came to women. I mean I had game initially, but ultimately was too nice once I got into a relationship. Rarely challenging opinions, always giving my whole heart to someone who clearly was reserved with theirs, never kept the mystery and surprise of what's coming next. This ex clearly used me to get whatever she wanted, and was definitely cheating on me. Maybe at first she thought I was a good catch, but quickly realized how boring and predictable I really was.
@@Brancovtn65 Damn dawg 😭😭 we really all are some Toms. The movie didn’t give me that perspective but it’s something i realized myself. I can see how the movie could grant you that perspective. The movie really is great though. Everybody should watch this movie at least once
@@israelcastelan4012 Oh yeah this movie was top notch! We're so lucky to have evolved from those silly versions of ourselves. I just hope our fellow men who aren't so lucky can find a way to dig themselves out ASAP.
Your ex sounds like complete trash. Instead of showing you a clip from a movie, she should have expressed her actual feelings and communicated with her partner. You deserve better.
to be COMPLETELY honest romantically i did do and/or PROBABLY will really LOVE zooey deschanel because she's LITERALLY always had and still has an EQUALLY REALLY attractive face to go along with her previous vegetarian diet and i did do and/or PROBABLY will really LOVE her as a musician
