You are so motivational. I have had some great conversations with random strangers which have lasted 10 to 15 minutes -- I would always worry what will I say next but the key to to go for it and eventually you relax. Just two months ago I would be scared to talk to people but I'm now a lot more comfortable talking to people. Thanks so much Marcus. More of these live conversations would help. They are so inspiring!
Hey man, its been 5 years since you made this comment. How's life treating ya? Are you still comfortable speaking to people or has the pandemic and staying inside made it more difficult again?
He's fantastic. How come I couldn't figure it out myself that great conversation don't have to be great. The greatness is that you doing it versus just thinking about doing it. Thumbs up for Marcus
I tried it: - So I went on my bike to meet a random person. I was really scared something bad might happen. So first I saw a jogger I didnt want to bother him then I saw a old lady with 2 dogs but I was on my bike so it would be weird to go to her, then I saw 2 grandpa's and I thougth they were intimidating so I went past them then I saw some dudes smoking weed but I didnt want to aproach alot of people and then I saw a old guy sitting on a chair in front of a caravan. So I asked him do you know where I can find the gym? He said no I am not from around here. I said: are you on vacation? he said: Yes after that I kept talking to him about vacation and the fact that I did not go on vacation this year and after that I said goodbye and he said Bye!!!! So I freaking did it but it was super scary. So do you think it is better to do this every day or just one time a week?
Well done! You faced your fear and joined the 1% of people who actually go out and put the practice time in. Quality practice everyday is best. If you feel you want to build up to that, start at one a week, then twice a week and so on. Keep it up!
Hey, thanks for the video, I like your videos. I think it was great that you pointed out the thing about consistency, but a lot of people wants to see results fast. So people might be doing it for a week maybe two and then stop because they don't see any results. I read the book "the slight edge" which I think was amazing because it helps you to be consistent and can help in every part of your life. But anyway, I'm looking forward to more videos
Great question. Adding a context (a reason) for talking makes the task easier. With that in mind... Novice: Ask a logical question to provide a reason for being there. EG. Nearest 7/11 store? Beginner: Ask a random question with an implied reason. EG. Movie recommendation? Intermediate: Make a logical statement with no context beyond positive expression and continue. EG. Compliment. Advanced: Make a random statement with joviality and segue into conversation. Expert: Talk about anything without context. Deadpan. Rely on charm to secure the conversation.
It's hard for me in these types of situations not to feel like I'm being a nuisance. I can chat up strangers occasionally (although not as forward and confidently as this) but after one minute I start feeling that I'm imposing or being a nuisance or keeping them from what they were previously doing. People won't always cut you off and go away because they don't want to be impolite, although I very likely exaggerate all of this in my own head.
Play with 1 minute until it feels comfortable. The 1 minute time limit is there as a goal; but also it prevents you from being imposing. If the other person is enthusiastically contributing to the conversation without input from you...you're doing good!
You can compliment people to get them talking more about themselves. Turns out people know themselves best of all and can talk about personal experiences to infinity! Using less language and more mood and tone helps when we don't share a common language. The guy offered you more information then you did. You could tell he was afraid as he crossed his legs. He didn't know if you were a immigration cop, gay cruiser or serial killer. Probably in that order. Your politeness and flashing smile helps break the ice. If you had drawn his attention to the voluptuous woman that stood in front of you and winked at hi. and made a groaning sound, ala carry on (Sid James) style he would have laughed for sure! laughter is a superb ice breaker. It shows your humanity and emotionally normal. Sid James was by all accounts a nice guy buy everyone loved him for being a cheeky chappy. Humour is vital for connecting with people. It creates a bond fast! Food, fun and funkiness are my three preferred channels for making contact with the subconscious in others. Talk about food, make them hungry then offer a solution. Does this make any sense guys? my writing skills are shocking bad I know.
Thank you for your suggestions: I agree about humour: the key intent with this video was raw persistence. I like the idea of talking about food, fun and being funky. Sid James was indeed a master of the subtext!
I've been watching your channel and interviews for a while now and your growth curve is phenomenal. You have a soft spoken and lucid voice. Like a documentary narrator this makes conversation ( information transmission and decoding) effortless. I detect apprehension in most interactions which is an area to sure up. Almost outcome dependent? Something comedians have nailed. You're a real talent and hard working so I can only imagine how good you'll be in the next year!
superbbb... seriously, i have not seen any mentor, coach to do it practically. By watching this video, from today i m gonna do it .No doubt, negatives are stopping me by raising questions, what i m gonna say and what if he shouts at me .. i m kinda person i never converse with strangers. and definitely i m gonna share my experiences. thanks alotttttt, MARCUS.
Those who take action outside of their comfort zone are very charismatic (risk taking is sexy after all). I'd love to know how you're getting on after a year.
@@YourCharismaCoach It was great! At first it was more awkward but then eventually I had a longer conversation and I felt super good afterwards. It made me feel better for the rest of the day. I want to stick with it
@@user-cm9yx7hz3j Well done! It's a great skill to develop. You'll find the awkwardness often vanishes if you plough through the first minute. It occurs because you're doing something novel; and it takes a few moments for most people to get used to this. In those first moments, just RELAX (breathe normally) and act like it's no big deal: most people will eventually follow along. Keep it up.
@@user-cm9yx7hz3j It's 100% okay to make the task easier. For example, just sharing an observation with somebody (or even noticing something about them). Anything is better than zero; and this will build momentum for your next attempts.
Another good, honest video. I love the fact that you make a point of talking about the need to be consistent. Great effort with that conversation despite the language barrier. Just before the text showed on screen I noticed the guys body language change as he turned towards you. I really need to do this! Thanks again Marcus and keep up the good work. Looking forward to some new videos.
