INFP's Fatal Flaw: Limerence 

Wow thank you for this, I’m 45 and an INFP and have done this my whole life with real people(the majority of my teen years just having this epic crushes with no connection) or characters in a specific movie that I become obsessed with…thank you for posting this video ❤️

I think this has something to do with limerence: I've had crushes but I was never able to date them that well, because I thought they were these super humans and I'm nothing. :D I always felt very awkward and stupid around them and I hated that feeling... However, then I decided to try a relationship with a person that I did NOT have a crush on: we started as good friends and a few months later he kissed me - and then I felt genuine, realistic love! ❤️ We've been happily married for 10 years and he is the only person in the world with whom I feel like truly myself. 🥰 (I'm INFP and he's ENTP)

Can confirm. I am in love with the feeling of being in love and I really don't care about the feeling of the person i "worship". You might say I am addicted to being addicted.

Dang, I feel so called out right now LOL. “Crush on steroids” 😂 that’s so me. Putting them on a pedestal, why is that me. Child-like, rose lenses. So dead on accurate. 😂I try not to project these feelings on real people. 2D characters is more what I’m used to. I hope that I can refrain from jumping to the next person after being rejected for the first time a week and a half ago.

Oh my gosh in my teenage years/early 20s this was me. I could legit imagine lifetimes and explore all these alternate timelines with a certain object of my affection that I had ...

I’d add Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind. And you have all my favourite movies 😂

INFP and yes, I dealt with this affliction in my younger days. Outgrew it? Perhaps my present life is less magical, but now more authentic and real.

Lol istp personality type like in the great Gatsby is my partners personality type. It's funny because all the so called crushes I've had were ones from movies like 10 things I hate about you, twilight, Vampire diaries, pride and prejudice and when I found out my personality type it made sense because the main characters were all infps lol ❤

ENTP here - I've felt limerance, but only before I had my first relationship, however, during these same school years I've had an INFP friend that for 3 years reminisced about a girl he kissed once, and eventually he would also fall in love with a Tinder match he used to text, I just couldn't comprehend.

Well, I had it from the start with animation characters 😂😍 If you'd ask me about my dream in 6 years old, you would hear "I want to marry with my lovely Significant other!" 😅❤️ But now I am 20, and I just want to get reed of this imaginary dramatic things and create my real one! In unfortunately as an INFP, this is difficult for me to build this is reality!

I found this video at the perfect time! I’ve been locked up in my room for the past 4 years but my behavior before that was obsessive crushing to say the least. I just took the test recently. I don’t know the meaning of a lot of the info. I don’t know what the numbers mean or where to find them. All I know is, I’ve never felt so understood. I cried when I read the results. It’s helped me to learn to love myself. Thank you for your video. It’s been tremendously helpful! 💖

This was a much needed topic of discussion. I have dealt with this since I was a wee boy. It's very challenging to live and love in a world that just ends in so much sadness and unmet reciprocation. I thank you the messenger. I will share this on my facebook because I think it explains my constant depression very well. It's hard to articulate something like this as a man and be vulnerable enough to admit the level of depth you feel for people. It is an echo of the rejection I have felt all my life. Just thinking about it makes me feel suicidal.

Hence why we are known as one of, if not the most romantic type. Though when you say it's not real, it is a real feeling. For me those glances have been very real. Still able to discern the practical and the impractical. I've never been to afraid to act on those feelings to at least express them to the person, knowing that there is probably not practical way this could work out. It doesn't deter me because I know I have what it takes to manifest my idealism into reality. And most times more than not my intuition is reasonably accurate. And if it's not to be, then it's not to be. At least I stayed true to my convictions. I'm actually following my heart from a chance meeting almost 3 years ago on a 2 month holiday in Mexico. That one chance, and brief meeting where I followed my heart and expressed what I thought of her, with no expectation. Has now arrived back to me on the other side of the world ten fold. Even though to others it may seem highly impractical, we are going to take this chance together, and do our best to make it happen. When practicality gives no significant meaning to your life, why bother. I wasn't born to care about practicalities in a capitalist consumerism driven world. I born to fight for love. ✌️❤️🙂

Thank you for sharing this unique concept. Having found my partner pretty early in life I haven't really had romantic limerence with other people after that but definitely non-romantic ones, now that I think about it. :)

Yeee I'm almost 26 infp and limirence was extremely prevalent during teen years. I thought it was just part of daydreaming. I have grown out of it though I think.

Limerance might be a part of a wider pattern, that's structuring our romantic imagination for allmost a millenia now. It was discribed by Denis de Rougemont in his book Love in the Western World, and romantic advantures of Romeo and Juliet, Don Juan and most of modern romantic comedies are structured along those lines. A noteworhy exeption and only post-romantic comedy I know is High Fidelity (2000) that deals with problem of crushes in an steady relationship. In a way it's a movie about Cinderella growing up. Thank you for the lovely, informed and well articulated video and i hope we'll be seing more simular content. PS: I'm an INFP 5w4 so please excuse the lecture.

This video should be trending for INFPs, it's making your life so much better and so much worse lol. That you scream HELP but it doesnt go away easily. Our strong side is our fantasy world, our weak side is our fantasy world. We need a good realistic aid kit to live a life or else there're consequences and life lessons that would repeat itself if we won't learn it well. Idealistic nature is good (not really, but still it's in my nature) since it makes your life brighter, but the intensity can break you down so much leading with long-term anxiety. I wasn't really depressed actually, even if anxiety leads to depression, I kept it low-level and worked on myself through creative expression. Limerence is like a common old INFP friend we love and hate. It motivates - yes. It takes up much space than you want - yes. You try to control it but it goes wild again and you think you fall into the same patterns that you thought you overcame already - yes. The only thing I found out is that self-acceptance and embracement of these qualities helps to heal the old wounds. I think other people that open new things about me and help me to rediscover my talents help me a lot. The same with trying more hobbies and stuff. Real world kicks you alive sometimes and all illusions dissapear for some time. I'm still clingy to those illusions even if they're outdated. I would use something to fix my brain, it's really a big life struggle... I thought it's kind of a sickness - attachment, not love, even when people call it "love sickness" its x10 times worse and long lasting (count in years) more like obsession in a wrong way. You kind of disregard the person as a whole and take only the best part. Ah, I vented, thank you for this video, I didn't know about it at all. -infp

Good video, but as an INFP, I can't relate.

This could tie into BPD and Echoism. Great content as usual you're Si must be very developed you're very clear! - ESTJ a

Does this affect your romantic long-term relationships?

Here I was thinking what was this weird feeling,why I am so different😢 How do I get outta this? Its devastating and I'm so tired of this Thanks for the video❤

Omg, such a good video. I'm actually experiencing this right now. (Idk, maybe why the vid popped up.) Lol Rationally, I know I'm doing this but I still can't help myself. There is a connection but it's a strange situation. Lately, I've just been trying to distance and avoid but it won't go away and now we spend more and more time together. Ugh. It's driving me crazy.

TRUTH, I finally found out a year ago that my lack of awareness on my limerence was sabotaging my life so bad. My decisions were all based on my limerence and it put me in really bad situations. I fell in love with people's potentials rather than what they are really giving me or how they are treating me. I became a martyr with martyr complex. I started to question why are these bad things happening to me. Then I finally realized that it was me not protecting myself and involving myself with people who don't even meet my criteria. Friendship. Dating. Every type of encounter. That I snapped out of it and awoken my Ti demon. I started to work on my Ti demon. It made me realized how delusional INFPs are. It sucks that many INFPs cannot see this.

Brilliant Video as usual

For me it's rarely romantic. Normally more a father figure thing and lole u saod, it jumps around. Great vid 😀

What do you use to put subtitles?

Dang I’m being called out now 🙄