You can always use your drawings for it like you normally do ^^ ( tbh I'm a real fan of your art style ) But whenever you're not in the mood for it I'm open for suggestions ( only if u want too ^^ ) You can just tell me what ur view is for the thumbnail n I'll try my best to recreate it ( I'm doing it for free cuz my art block is a bitch- I can also make it into a thumbnail, whether is ur face or n art ) Another solution for your thumbnails is silly picture of yourself :> I like those lol
Wheen kinda gives off the vibe of the cousin who's like 7 years older than you that you just shoot the shit with at family gatherings like once every year
I agree with a lot of this on a personal level. Gay dudes are just more perspective on simps for women; for guys like us. when a gay dude hit's on you it becomes apparent why so many crazy hoes passionately hate men as a whole. So many dudes are incapable of even masking their intent, and have no concept of subtlety. Confidence is a double edged sword imo, its confidence and overconfidence that create the issues you discussed. I think staying true to yourself whatever that means to you, is what matters more than anything. Personally I think integrity [not expecting others to do anything you yourself wouldn't do, or following through on commitments rather than giving up] is what helps me feel grounded as a man. Not in any way that i feel validated or superior to anyone, but that I can accept myself and understand things logically for what they are and what i am capable of. Hope you get over this hurdle bro, you give the impression of self doubt and I think we all go through it. You and I had our dreams shattered by the system and can't pursue the careers we wanted to but that didn't stopped you and it hasn't stopped me, from finding my way to the best person I can. Its a journey bro, take care.
I'm bi. I've had times in my life where I've obsessed about a woman in my life. Even in times when I didn't plan on doing anything (often felt like they were out of my league or something), I've always been pretty bad at hiding what I'm actually thinking, so trying to maintain a friendship with a person like that usually backfired in some way. There were other times when maybe I hoped something would just sort of happen by hanging out with them a lot, instead of actually having he confidence to be direct and ask them out. I think the big thing that changed was going to BMT, openly bi (which was kinda awkward. We had to do communal showers. I usually tried to just stare at the wall, I found the experience pretty embarrassing)... There was this one dude though... Dude was always kind of a creep in BTM... Said all of 2 words to me the entire 8 weeks I was there... But sometimes in the showers, I'd get this creepy feeling I was being watched. I'd turn my head, and this dude was just, on the other side of the showers, straight staring me down man. And the one time I had ECP duty with the guy, he was like, incapable of conversation, mostly just stared at me while I awkwardly tried to pass the time talking about random crap. Anyway, he hits me up in tech school after, I guess, stalking my FB and realizing I got sent to the same tech school, and comes out to me as bi (f@cking shocker)... Then literally just doesn't hold back, like 10 minutes into the conversation, absolute dumps his creepiest most p@rn addled fantasies about me at BMT... Don't get me wrong, I watch a ton myself, but... Jesus christ, I'd never in a million years just bluntly tell a woman fantasies like that, in that fashion, after having barely said anything to them, like, what the f@ck. I kinda just... I dunno, went along with it for a few minutes because I didn't really know how to react to this guy, and that WAY gave him the wrong idea. In reality, I was increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation. Apparently he was really insecure about being bi because he was raised by an ultra Christian household, and I was like... Yeah, kinda obvious you've got hangups dude... Then basically asks if I'm DTF. I told him I'd tell him the next day, because I legit didn't know how to respond to that... For one thing, just... No, dude gave me the creeps. It took a lot of self reflection later to realize why, what red flags the guy was giving off, but in the moment, I couldn't really understand why, because nobody had ever come onto me that hard before. For another thing, I wasn't particularly attracted to him physically on any level. I dunno why, just didn't find him attractive... For a third thing.... And sorry to get a little graphic, but... Dude was like a 300 lbs black guy with a football player build... And clearly not the sort to be a bottom as it were... Dude straight up could've torn me in half, and I have NO experience in that regard. That was one of the biggest things even that put me off about him in BMT, between the showers and being alone on ECP duty with him. I had no f@cking clue what was going through his head, but whatever it was, I knew something was off, and if he had done something to me, there wasn't much I could've done to stop him.... So hearing like, specific explicit details ABOUT what he wanted to do to me that time we were on ECP duty together... F@ck no, I did not want to hear that sh@t. Basically confirmed my worst nightmares. And that's all besides the fact that I've only ever wanted a real long term relationship with someone... And this guy basically asked for a booty call 3 days before I was shipping out for Japan, and he was shipping out to some stateside base.... Thank christ, I dunno what I would've done if he'd wound up at the same base as me. But point is, even if I wanted that guy, what chance was there at anything real there? Zilch. I'd never really had to reject a guy before and... Having been on the receiving end of many rejections, I at least felt bad about that much... I really shouldn't have, that was not a time for empathy. So I made the mistake of saying no, but that we could maybe be friends? ... Yeah, this gave me some perspective on the friendzone, and how "friends" in it can so easily turn into obsessive stalkers. This guy straight up wouldn't leave me alone, I dreaded talking to the guy. It started off kinda normal, but I swear to god, every couple months, he'd try hitting on me again... Bro, I said no, and we're on opposite sides of the planet anyway. He grew more and more belligerent with it, till he was just more and more barely hiding his real intentions. So finally I decided to just ghost the guy. I didn't really know what else to do. I didn't wanna block him, I didn't really wanna yell at him, I didn't really wanna let him down hard, because he clearly had no f@cking clue how to handle his sexuality after suppressing it so long (and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't been there before myself). But I knew I just couldn't f@cking stand pretending to give a f@ck anymore. I literally felt sick to my stomach every time this guy hit me up. I figured he'd just go away after a while of seeing I wasn't replying. I sh@t you not, I got an actual screenshot 6 months later of him, every two weeks, doing this: Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello Hello Literally, it did not stop... Finally, I got one at a baaaad moment in my life, while I was dealing with the stress of my new unit and trying to pass my PT test, so... I told my friend... He was a SrA who had just made SSgT.... And he was chill as hell, very nonjudgemental... So I figured I could talk to him about this, with some airman to airman rapport, but also his recent promotion gave him some insights on how to actually handle the situation. He also wasn't in my shop, so I figured I could get advice from him without him directly getting involved. ... Yeah, he got directly involved, lol. Before even responding to me, He immediately messaged the guy, told him he's my god damn NCO, what he was doing was clear sexual harassment, and that if he ever messaged me again, he'd make his life a living hell on earth... He said sorry to him, and I literally never got another message from him ever again. I was initially mad at him for just immediately taking it into his own hands, but... Looking back on it years later, I realized that not only was that exactly the right thing to do, but that I probably should've cut it off with him that harshly from the get-go. Or just listened to my gut and never opened that first DM from him to begin with. Anyway... I'd like to think I was never as bad as that guy, but... It made me self reflect on my own obsessions towards women in my past. My own inability to not contain my real feelings. My own attempts to maintain friendships that, if I was being honest with myself, always had ulterior motives, whether I ever intended on acting on them or not... That realization was honestly significantly more sickening than talking to that guy. I didn't want to be the reason ANYBODY felt that sh@tty... And the idea that I might have been, just hurt man. These days, if I catch a feels for someone, I either just ask them out, or decide to stay out of their lives. And I don't take people up on "oh no, but we can still be friends" anymore. No, we cant. So long as there's feelings there, it ruins a platonic friendship. I think I grew up thinking that was acceptable since it's so common in sitcoms, but then I realized sitcoms are actually some of the worst models for how to actually act in society. You're probably not getting the girl no matter how long you're sticking around after a rejection, and even if you do, that still makes you a bit of an obsessive loser like Ted from How I Met Your Mother (christ that last season sucked). I realized those shows do that TO CREATE drama that you want to watch, when the last thing you should invite into your real life is f@cking drama. Seriously, those kinds of shows should be rated R or something. I grew up on those kinds of sitcoms, and it hit me later in life they were a horrible influence on me. I will say this though, I've literally never caught feelings like that for a straight guy... They're straight. Jesus christ, show some respect. It'd be like falling head over heels for a lesbian. Like, not only are they not interested, but there is literally no universe in which they ever could be. What are ya gonna do, CONVERT THEM? How is that not abusive as f@ck? Even at my worst, at least I never did THAT. ------- Anyway, yeah, I guess all that to say that sort of thing will 100% give you a new perspective. Once you've been on the receiving end of it, the last thing you want to do the rest of your life is be the reason someone else feels that way. It's not healthy on any level, for anyone.
I love these rants Wheen, while I don’t always agree with you, I love that you don’t sugercoat shit, that you tell it how it is. You honestly remind me of a friend of mine, stay classy.
It's the same for me, the sex thing I mean. I've never met anyone who has the same thoughts on that. I honestly started wondering if something was wrong with me. I'm scared to get into relationships because I feel like I won't be able to give them the physical intimacy they want
I really like your videos because you talk facts, In the current year most people have insane delusions and live in a fantasy instead of the real life and when you speak about reality it's very refreshing
It's really weird. I've been working out to reduce fat and gain muscle recently. I'm aware that progress isn't quick, but i have the routine down and it feels good. The weird thing is that people have started to say that i'm slimming out, but I don't see it at all. I'm looking in the mirror and nothing has changed. Measuring the belly fat is the same as it was, if slightly smaller. It feels so intangible to me, and people telling me that i'm making progress when I can't see what they're saying creates a strange sense of feeling good and feeling insecure. I feel as if I'm lying to them even though I'm doing the work. Shit's fucked up man. The best I can do is keep going for tangible weight goals, because the social changes are so alien to me
There's two aspects for this. First, people usually have either an overly positive or an overly negative bias towards their own looks (usually the latter...). Even if you improve your looks, you'll still kinda cherry pick the worst things about yourself to focus on. Those things could even disappear, and you might still see them. This is basically what happens to anorexic people. It doesn't matter how skinny they get, they just see a fat person in the mirror. Second, fat can actually be kinda hard to work off. The two things I really need to do are calorie count with proper meal prep, (because I overeat easily), and weightlift. People used to tell me tons of cardio is what burns fat... Yeah... Maybe... Maybe for some people, and maybe for me if I do it for 6 months to a year... But I've learned the hard way what works for me, and it aint f@cking cardio. Diet matters first, my body is probably better built for strength than endurance (even though I grew up doing swimming, an endurance sport, weirdly enough), so it's amazing to me how many calories I can burn just through weights. Have you ever actually tried burning calories through swimming? At one point, I committed myself to losing weight by swimming laps while on deployment... 2 hours of hard swimming for me, according to a swimming calorie calculator, is only like 400 calories... WTF? Cardio is a scam for weightless dude, you basically need to be conditioning for a marathon or something if you actually want to burn a ton of calories that way. The reason I say all this is that you may not actually be burning fat. If your body doesn't like to burn calories with the particular exercise you're doing, and if you're still taking in an equal amount of calories that you burn every day, you're not actually going to burn it off that fast. You might tone up, get more muscular under your fat, and those will definitely be improvements, but the fat will still be there. It's not even a bad look imo, my dad is like that. He's in his 50s and until recently, regularly did hundreds of pushups every day. He looks like a fat vin diesel. Like, ludicrously strong, but still a bit of a dad bod. I don't think he looks terrible, he's obviously healthy. The reason why people still make comments is that fat isn't the only thing that matters. If you actually work out and tone up your muscles, people will see that even if there's fat over top of them. You may not, but other people do. It's weird, I struggle to work weight off, but it doesn't take that much exercise for people to start noticing and asking if I've been working out. You also really shouldn't be paying attention to weight and waist alone (even though I'm guilty of that). What you should pay attention to more is your actual gains (improvements in strength by how much you can lift, improvements in your endurance or times at a particular cardio, etc etc etc). You should also pay more attention to your BMI. Something a lot of people who want to lose weight by weight lifting make the mistake of doing is failing to eat a calorie deficit diet. Your weight and waistline might not actually improve in this case. But it doesn't mean that you aren't improving your overall looks, you could easily be converting fat INTO muscle mass over time. A healthy and attractive weight for me would probably be around 160. I'm about 190 right now, and want to get down to 160. But, it is completely possible for me to end up at 190, but... muscular. Without ever losing weight. Some people have a hard time of bulking up in the first place, and bulking up is actually required to get more muscular. So you might even see starting out from an overweight position as actually a good thing if your end goal is to look like a body builder. You also shouldnt pay that much attention to waistline. The USAF during the PT test would measure your height, weight, and waist, and use those values to determine if you were overweight, and that would be a part of your score... Every PT test, there were always a few insanely buff dudes who could literally smash every part of the test, 100% on the run, 100% on situps, 100% on pushups... And then still get 0% on the weight test. Why? Who knows. Short. Stocky. Way too muscular. But it really highlighted just how borked that system was, turns out buff guys actually have pretty big waistlines sometimes. That test was an AWFUL metric of health or fitness, and especially looks (yeah, a lot of actual fat people would fail that test... But so would literally the most ripped guys). Anyway, who knows, maybe you are actually burning fat, but building muscle at the same rate. In that case, you wouldn't notice a change in your waistline, and you might not even recognize the improvements you've made until all the fat is gone, and all that's left is muscle. ------- These are just some of the plausible reasons for what you're describing that I've seen over the years. If you want an actual answer, or better yet, actual help, consider seeing a nutritionist or a personal trainer... The trainer is personal for a reason, every body is different. My buddy was an MMA fighter, he helped me pass the PT test one time. He stuck me on a meal plan that dropped like 10-20 lbs for me in 2-4 weeks... It wasn't a very sustainable meal plan, but I did lose weight last minute for that PT test. I learned a lot from that, and the few times I've meal prepped since, I've mostly replicated his ideas, and it's lead to decent weight loss each time (biggest change I made was a few things that made it a lot more sustainable long term). Anyway, dude was pretty good at that sort of thing. Sometimes just some outside experience is all you really need, and there's whole professions dedicated to that.
I've been at about 160 for about 2 months now but I've been taking progress videos, I've noticed that my physical appearance is noticeably different even though weight has not changed much. For some reason other people tend to notice before you do, keep it up man.
Wheen, I just wanted to let you know that you’ve seriously changed me. Whether it be through the beginning of me discovering the channel through your DOOM Eternal videos, or through watching your change into the commentary type of video, I’ve always appreciated you. And it was especially the videos relating to your… idk, ig I’ll say “self inflicted banishment” that really gave me a different world view on my life, and made me hope I change change for the better. Idk dude, fucking love yah, I’m glad you’re back and still kicking.
I find it interesting that even if your libido is low you still want to have children. As a person who also has a fucked up libido, my only wish is to live with my best friend in a nice apartment or house. I feel that getting married and having children would be putting myself under a pressure that I don't want (although you could say that I would have a "relationship" with my friend).
So I listened to the part when u started to talk about sex and I can relate. I have a very strong libido, I jerk off into my fleshlight at least 3 times a week and use my hand at least once a day, porn is very often on my mind (Ik it’s not healthy). But I also had my period of whoring around due to pressure and… yeah ur right it kinda sux. I’m just saying this to re assure anyone that has a low sex drive that the problem isn’t you. Because me the fucking porn addict didn’t enjoy it that phase to much either. I fucking hated being validated for it as well. It’s not as big of an achievement as guys think it is.
honestly I get you, It’s especially hard nowadays to find loyal and respective women, men and women aren’t equal, we’re different but It’s such unique ways that form us together. So when things like feminists exist, they’re either dumbfounded by their whole activist group or they’re chasing some other Ideal to have some sort of priority over men. It’s only natural men are better than women at sports, Men are literally 33% stronger than women. Women might have a more unique trait of being more smart, but It doesn’t mean men can’t be either, nor women either. I believe that we should accept our differences and accept the gender for who they are. I like talking about these topics because I want more people to realize It’s people. Not the other gender. Men can be shitty, Women can be shitty too. I do believe unequal pay In a company meant to look for the best Is especially unfair. Women nowadays are Insecure and afraid of their self-Image, and some others abuse It. The sad reality Is porn-addicts like men are the Influence to women having onlyfans and being sluts and shit. I think It’s always been a problem. But In today’s generation It’s more of a problem because of social media and porn. Porn Is a real problem In our underlying society and so Is OnlyFans, services that allows you to make a profit off your body ruins relationships, girls and women who do It try to normalize It, especially how much of an Influence they get when all these horny men actually buy their shit. It’s crazy. Men are contributing to this problem. So we can’t really blame women entirely. It’s a problem In our society…Oooo Society.. Anyways, yeah It sucks. If you’re really lucky you’ll find a girl who’ll make your life all the better. Effort Is key, communication Is also key. If you don’t like that person’s traits, don’t date them. And yeah don’t have sex with people you barely know.
Wheen went from Doom challenges to Commentaries to Self help stuff. I’ve been around throughout the latter two (My old account got banned so I’m using a new one lol) I love how you just speaks his mind and just vents his thoughts. I’m honestly thinking about doing something similar at some point in life when I can afford a cheap mic. (Bills come first sadly)
Sorry for the grammar I woke up, watched half the video then commented. I was barely awake and now I’ve just read trough it again after some coffee and damn it’s bad…
12:00 - 14:00 I kinda get this, lol. Hey, if you want someone to talk to, not necessarily a friend, that won't hit on you. You could prolly talk to me, though I always recommend a therapist for this.
As a guy who likes guys the straight guys in my past friend group acted the most gay and hit on me and it's not like bc I like guys I'll get w all of them after I distanced myself from them and got new friends I got a girlfriend and we've been together for a while and neither of us has made sexual advances thankfully Wheen is so real for this btw
I thought i was for a while, i was just far too impressionable and got pressured into different situations a while back. I'm a product of my environment but I don't think that's who I am
@@wheenishere Anything besides being your biological gender is a combination of peer pressure, porn addiction and a lack of belief in God. It's sad that so many people realise this after years of taking pills and dragging others with them along the way. The people in power are doing this either for money, to divide the people or to keep their power and get more votes, or all of these combined. I'm glad you remembered who you are
@@wheenishere It took me till I was like 16 to realize I was bi, and I didn't know there was a name for it at the time (I thought I had to pick a lane as it were, lol). Now LGBT crap is shoved on people so hard, kids, teens, and young adults no longer have the space to truly figure themselves out. The cultural war over kids is so bad that it's showing up in statistics now, at least where trans stuff is concerned (though I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of supposedly gay/bi people these days were also environmentally pressured into that state when they otherwise wouldn't be). And the more liberal side of medicine have given it a junk diagnosis called "rapid onset dysphoria" ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-l_WrULzuNvs.html It's dumb. Society doesn't just magically start going dysphoric overnight without a cause. The incident rate of gender dysphoria was pretty constant up until the last 20 years or so. People who actually have it, come out whether society openly accepts them or not, because the whole point of the dysphoria condition is that it's so bad that people must externalize it. Some people will claim "well now more people feel comfortable to come out, that's all", as if kids were always trans by default until they actively decide... No mfer, I think we've just watered down the concept to a million genders that are glorified spiritualist nonsense moods when you actually look up their definitions, and we made it somehow cool to be trans or some degree of LGBT, and abhorrent to be straight and cis... So kids adapt to the pop culture, and they naturally start calling themselves trans or homo just to feel like they belong to an in-group that will protect them. We took a serious mental health condition that causes high s@icide rates, and somehow made it something kids should aspire to for socio political reasons, lest they be nonstop called homo/transphobic for half their opinions the rest of their lives... The danger in this is that some of these people will be so convinced by these external conditions that they are actually trans internally, that they start going through the actual transition process... None of the people who support this crap want to acknowledge the growing number of "trans" people who wind up regretting it later in life and decide to transition back with mixed results. More and more people are waking up to the fact that they've mutilated their own bodies when their natural uninfluenced state was never trans to begin with. It's like a culture of trying to convince kids they should get tattoos for some reason. Anyway man, I'm sorry you went through that. I find it abhorrent. The whole point of the LGBT movement was that LGBTs dont like feeling like they're legally or socially obligated to fit traditional interpersonal norms in the privacy of their relationship lives... But because that concept necessarily involved politics when it came time to fight for legislation, it became rotted by politics... Now it's not good enough that an LGBT person can exist in relative peace, now it's some culture war against Christian conservatives, and the result is literal recruitment at the earliest ages possible... Which is disgusting, because now LGBTs are essentially obligating young people to not be straight, not be cis, and treating straight people like crap. What's worse is this modern phenomenon of trying to pigeonhole everyone based on their looks... Liberals do it just as much as conservatives, and it p!sses me off. You keep mentioning that you were basically pressured into it based on your somewhat effeminate qualities... I dunno who the F@CK gave LGBTs the right to dictate that someone must be a certain sexuality, or some level of trans, because of the random crap they were born with. It's amazing that a movement that once tried to tear down gender norms, now will not stop applying them to people based on their looks. I genuinely think the closest we ever got to egalitarianism was 1995-2010. And that's the time I grew up in. I REMEMBER growing up in public schools, and while there was the occasional bully... What I remember was that most kids and teens were diverse as hell... There are two kinds of people that were relatively common at that time, effeminate, yet STRAIGHT men, and tomboy (masculine), yet STRAIGHT women... You don't see those kinds of people that much anymore, and I genuinely think it's because they've all been pressured into EITHER better fitting the traditional traits of their own gender, OR pressured into adopting LGBT status... I hate it, people used to be free to just be their f@cking selves. The lack of effeminate male and tomboy female straight people is a sign of the erosion of individualism in my opinion... Because those should be fairly large groups. MOST people are straight, whether they exhibit the other gender's traits or not. The fact that those two groups almost dont exist anymore is a sign that the environment surrounding identity has been heavily manipulated by political and special interest groups. I tend to confuse people IRL. I've tried to adopt more and more masculine traits over time, because I've found it easier to integrate into the hard working blue collar world that way. I've also found that the masculine way of thinking just... FITS. Like, it's natural. I guess my negative influence growing up was less about sexuality, and more about the politicization of behavior. I think I was raised with an effeminate way of thinking spurred on by being raised by a feminist mother, and a father who was semi-absent working in the military for so long... It led to a decade of unnatural neuroticism, depression, overthinking, anxiety, etc... Forcing effeminate behavior and ways of thinking on a man who is not actually female brained on any level, leads to these sorts of issues. For example, the reason I was depressed was because I'd been raised to believe that anger is never an acceptable emotion to express, because a man expressing anger must lead to violence, or must be irrational on some level (muh toxic masculinity)... Turns out, you suppress one natural emotion that is actually NECESSARY TO YOUR SURVIVAL for long enough, you start suppressing every emotion... That's depression. It took hanging out with guy friends and coworkers in the USAF to start realizing the benefits of masculinity, and basically learning from them how to do that myself... Ever since I started doing that, most of these mental health issues just... Evaporated. But I never did walk around utterly gay coded and flamboyant, just... Clearly a little off I guess? Despite all that's changed in me over the years, I'm pretty certain today of my sexuality still, just based on what I'm interested in, in that regard. So yeah... Most people fall into liberal or conservative camps, they project that crap on everyone else.... The result is, people meet me, and they're not quite sure what to make of it. Normal guy, believes in the strengths of masculinity, wants to homestead, start a family of some kind, knows how to work his @$$ off in some greasy mechanic job, owns a gun even... Also a bisexual who believes in a lot of liberal ideals like healthcare and education access... I swear, I can literally see people short circuit the more they get to know me sometimes, and it gets exhausting trying to explain "I don't swallow party lines hook line and sinker dude, maybe you should start thinking for yourself too one of these days". You said in your video that sometimes you feel like you can't keep friends for long because they aren't open minded enough to keep associating with someone who ACTUALLY goes through changes over time... Like yourself. You're a critical thinker, which means you're constantly reassessing and challenging your positions in life. The result is that you're often shifting positions on topics people find to be core to their personality, and seek friendships with like minded people over... That's actually a good thing, that you think that way... The problem isn't you. The problem is a society around you that teaches people to be complete braindead f@cking morons. I can't even really blame the education system, or politics for this either... Truth is, people naturally align themselves to solidifying their positions based on bias and in-group/out-group behavior... Basically, it is the natural order of humans to format themselves to a mold to fit into an in-group, then never change, then engage in culture war of some kind with out-groups, as they increasingly see the out-group as the problem... The only thing these in-groups dislike more than each other, are the free thinkers who float around and constantly analyze the situation... Because those people are, A, vulnerable and isolated, B, unpredictable, C, might actually have some cogent counterpoints based on MUCH better research than the rolodex of strawmen that in-groups flip through during arguments, and D, they cannot be pegged to one preconception or another... And people hate having to step out of their preconceptions for 2 f@cking seconds, god forbid they use their brains. You exercise your brain... Most people don't and so theirs atrophies... You talk a lot about health now, think of this as being like a population of people who are *mentally* "fat". Even my own mother, sometimes I challenger her positions on things now, backed up with sources I link her to... It takes her about 60 seconds to say "you're giving me a headache"... Yeah, because she hasn't been confronted by a real counter argument in years, and so hasn't exercised the part of her brain that requires fresh analysis... It's gonna hurt your brain just like exercising for the first time in years is gonna hurt your muscles.
@@wheenishere Although this is natural behavior for people (and you FORTUNATELY do not exhibit this natural behavior), societies and country governments have a choice to either feed the bias and in-fighting, or feed the free thought, through regulation of the education system and social media. I dunno how europe is now, but when I lived in Germany as a teen (2009-2012), you could debate your average German friend on end about any topic, and they'd still be friends with you at the end of the day.... Because the TOPIC was what was being discussed, not your CHARACTER... You could have wild disagreements, and still respect each other. And friendships were formed on character, not passing topical agreements... This made it hard to make German friends, as they were quite discerning about who they allow into their small friend groups... But once there, you could count on most of them for the rest of your life. I attribute a lot of this to a fixation in europe on actually improving their culture's average critical thinking skills... Because they rightly identified the LACK of critical thinking skills as the primary cause of 2 world wars... Meanwhile, the US apparently hasn't learned that lesson yet, and special interest groups and political parties benefit greatly from encouraging natural human tendencies towards mindless in fighting... The free thinkers are few and far between, and feel very isolated and pressured into joining some in-group or another... I guess I'm bringing this up to say that if you really hate it this badly, there are whole other countries you could move to where this kind of culture isn't nearly so prevalent, and your kind of free thought is much more heavily valued. I've lived 9 years of my life overseas, and the more time I've spent overseas, the more I've realized there's something deeply wrong with American culture right now. It's easy to feel insecure about having difficulties keeping friends, but it's honestly a sign that you're genuinely not on the same level as your average person... Which is a good thing, because average people suck. I go through that a lot myself. I dunno if being a military brat conditioned me for this or something, but... Honestly, I don't mind it. Yes, it's lonely sometimes, but... Maintaining relationships is hard. The less you try to maintain them with people who haven't really earned it from you, the more you can focus on the few that actually matter. The only people who have a bajillion friends, are people who arent that close with any of them, and maybe only know them on a vapid surface level. As a free thinker, the best thing you can do is seek out other free thinkers, and form friendships on the basis of mutual respect for each other's character, rather than passing topical agreements. I can maybe count on one hand the number of guy friends I regularly keep up with still. But they all have two things in common. I don't much agree with any of them on anything which results in constant debates... And we'd follow each other into hell ready to die for each other. In one case, I feel like it very nearly came to that, but, I kinda don't want to talk about it at the moment. These kinds of people are hard to find in a sea of vapid in-groups. But they do exist, and you don't even need more than one or two to feel satisfied and connected in the world... I guess I haven't had too many problems finding people like this, because I've never been all that attractive. I can be reasonably sure there is only one reason someone is friends with me as it were. For you, WOW that sucks dude. I've had the occasional guy act very p@rn brain and desperate towards me after finding out I'm bi (like I must be inherently available and DTF... Um... No... No, I'm pretty picky about that). But that's a whole different story than being straight and having gay orbiters you didn't even ask for. I think you're dealing with something a lot of attractive people deal with, which is white noise. Basically, you can't find real people because you're surrounded by people with ulterior motives who try to mask their intentions... Odds are, there's probably a few people in your life, now or in the past, who could've been one of these really close friends... But now you've experienced a few too many d@ckheads, and now you question even open and honest intentions. I've dealt with this as well, but much more from a totally different perspective. With the exception of the few gay people I mentioned, most people don't want to get in my pants. Instead, they want to get in my head for one reason or another. My first time in college, my floor was full of drug addicts and alcoholics who wanted to party all the time. At the time, I was willfully sober. But, I didn't mind DDing for people because I felt like it was the only way for me to get any real social interaction and not hole up in my room. And, I like teaching people new things, so I offered to help on homework... These abusive pr!cks, before the end of the semester, slowly turned from super appreciative, calling me the real MVP or whatever, turned that into expecting me to DD till 4 AM nearly every night, expecting me to literally do their math homework for them, etc... And then they never REALLY treated me like one of the gang... I started noticing they were leaving me out of things, not inviting me out... One guy I thought I was close with mentioned they were going out with a few other dorm people to go star gazing to talk about stuff. I asked if I could tag along, and he said sure... Then one of the chicks whispered something in his ear, and he basically said ah, never mind... I couldnt understand why... I realized later it's because I was a sober nerd who would've harshed their buzz, since they were more than likely gonna do shrooms... It started hitting me I was just something to be used to them, to float their grades and chauffer them to parties, at the expense of my sleep, my GPA, and my social wellbeing. And those were supposedly my friends. I won't even get into the women who have strung me along romantically, with no intention of actually really dating over the years... I think even if your not attractive, people deal with white noise. You just deal with people wanting something else from you, instead of your d@ck. I am... Extremely bad at recognizing social cues. As a result, I found it very difficult to weed out real people from the mass of selfish pr!cks with ulterior motives. So this kind of thing happened over and over again to the point where I thought nobody was real. Nobody. What finally started changing was the realization that human psychology is a practicable skill that can be applied in social situations to better predict the true motives of the people you're talking to. It originally started with this sad belief that there must be something wrong with me that I cannot seem to interact well with people, and trying to troubleshoot that with deep dives into learning the subject of psychology, and deep dives into my own psychology... While I learned a lot from that, and did find things in my own behavior to change, what I was not expecting was to learn just how screwed up your average person's psychology can be. People are... Horrible. The more of a narcissist or psychopath they are, the more they can obscure their true motives behind fake ones. You should NOT feel bad about not spotting this stuff sooner, because these are professional lifelong @$$holes you're dealing with man.
