Omg Daniel. Kudos to you for keeping it so classy in approaching this article, starting off by highlighting the helpful parts and then referring to the unhelpful parts as "tricky." I was pretty irritated by "some people can’t stop focusing about a conflict that happened that day or worrying about what’s going to happen tomorrow" for the same reasons you explained. I really feel for the innocent victims for whom this sentence helps perpetuate the belief that 1) something is indeed wrong with them for not being able to control their thoughts, and 2) they need to fight/stop certain types of thoughts. THEN, you scrolled down to the heading: "How to control adrenaline." OMFG (sorry for cursing). I died a little, and now I'm spinning in my grave. Before telling us how to "control adrenaline," they pepper in some reminders about the damage that adrenaline can do to your body. Thanks guys! Then comes the list of remedies for this "adrenaline problem" -- did they copy & paste from the Rules of Sleep Hygiene? Deep breathing, meditation, yoga...oh gosh you guys! Diet? And and avoiding bright lights? Well, what about the good old-fashioned carotid massage? (I just had a flashback to my "Big One" when I was massaging the heck out of my carotid to lower my heart rate during my panic. I think it actually made my heart rate go up when I realized it didn't "work"). This was a fun little diversion for me on this otherwise typical Tuesday at work :-)
Kristen! Yes you know, there’s so so much to say about this, oh but firstly, thanks for the amazing comment! 100% agree with every word. And back to some tricky things, one of them to me is about who is “innocent” and who should be held responsible. The reader of course is innocent like you said. And at the same time, I can feel the author also is too. On one hand I get so so triggered, but then I’m like well, she talked to an expert and she’s just reporting. So how about the expert? Well the phd is just sharing what she’s been taught, or perhaps not taught. Perhaps just like in medicine she wasn’t taught the full story about how the mind works and she’s just saying things she thinks are true… It’s a mess. Anyways, I do believe that things like your comment here, us talking… all these little things will lead to a real culture change! Oh and something kinda similar, my dad is a surgeon and worked a lot in Ethiopia. He has pictures of these enormous goiters, like the size of a watermelon. We never see this because it’s understood that they’re because of iodine deficiency. We have iodine in food in the west and when someone finds even a small goiter, it can be taken care of even before it’s the size of a grape. Somehow I think the same will happen in insomnia, meaning - today we hear stories of people trying the most unhelpful things, getting into an all consuming battle simply due to the lack of understanding… one day, I think and hope this will become a thing of the past.
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Gosh yeah, this piece made my claws come out with this urge to protect our "insomnia family," but the author(s) I am sure put in a good effort in producing this piece. I fully understand the conflicting feelings here. As for the goiters in Ethopia: so many parallels here! I'm having flashbacks to learning about how mercury ointment was used as a cure-all back in the day...it's all too easy for us to facepalm over these things. With this wonderful knowledge we have comes the gift of being able to educate, but also the heavy burden of feeling like we need to reach every corner of the planet, amiright?
Yes totally! And you know, I do feel that, the desire to reach everyone on the planet. But you know what, it felt like this impossible task once, now not so much… because of this, because of the community… I think we can make a dent in the sleep universe for sure 😊!!
Great review. It just shows how in a subtle way we get this message of 'controllability' everywhere. "If you experience A then you should do B". And then when that doesn't work the person trying feels like a failure etc. Our society is permeated with this message and it might be why insomnia and other mental health issues are so rampant. Thank you for making this subtle message so clear in this particular case.
Thanks Hugo! Yes I totally agree with you, this message is sort of almost part of the air we breathe, it’s so subtle (sometimes) and it’s everywhere. The idea of control and controllability, it’s everywhere as you say. Oh and on a slightly different topic, I think this type of episode will make a nice new addition to the channel. So I’m planning to do episodes reviewing various articles like this one, hope it will help!
Thank you so much for posting these videos! I've been going through a rough time with insomnia, and your advice is sooooo helpful, like a beacon of light that gives me hope. The way you break everything down is practical and easy to understand. I'm still not able to sleep through the night, but I have hope that I will get there once I relinquish trying to force it.
Guess what Daniel . No sleep it’s 5 am here . And Im like wow I have not had this issue in so long . I can feel my anxiety . I’m here acknowledging it. But you know everything I been going through in my personal life has been having me stressed.
Hi Malena, I know this must be such a difficult time… my thoughts are with you and your husband.. and you know, I think so many of us humans would not sleep much when the person that is closest to us is going through something like this… hang in there Malena, you’re doing all you can, being present, being supportive, acknowledging the emotions…
thanks, Daniel. love how you always do such a good job of debunking popular ideas about how we can control our thoughts and how such an effort contributes to sleep difficulties.
Thank you Daniel for your helpful insights!🙏 The palpitations make someone think that it is bad for the health. In fact, having the feeling of a racing heart (at day or at night) amplifies the fear from this symptom. This fear makes the person want to stop it at all costs. It persists. And here we go again. In fact, trying to supress or prevent the palpitations makes them even worse (as you said). But how can a person face it with courage while he believes that it can harm his health?
Christelle, you said it so nicely, thanks for this 🙂 and you know to answer the question, I think this person cannot face it with courage if he believes it can harm his health… just as I couldn’t face a tiger with courage, I believe it can hurt my health! This is why I think the first step is education. When he knows it cannot harm his health, then he can find that courage 🙂
Anytime! I think that anything we do to escape the discomfort that comes from fear makes us have some more fear… But anything we do to make us ok with experiencing fear, this leads to the fear fading 🙂
Brenda! Thanks so much for all the support and, you have a way of saying it’s so nicely and so clearly and “it’s just adrenaline”. Yes exactly that’s all 🙂!
Hi! I have a question. Since giving birth I have suffered from severe insomnia caused by tension, stress and adrenaline. now I very often have the following: just before I fall asleep, I wake up startled again. sometimes I even dream, but wake up after 1/2 minute and I'm wide awake again. what can i do about this?
Hi Bea! Thanks for asking (!) and you know the first thing that came to mind reading this is - there are many many things that can cause us to have some disrupted sleep. For example having pain or a noisy neighbor can cause us to have some disrupted sleep. But this cannot cause insomnia. The only thing that can cause insomnia is fear. Insomnia is when we have become afraid of not sleeping and this fear keeps us awake. Circumstances like what happens in our bodies or what happens outside our bodies cannot cause the ongoing struggle we call insomnia. What you describe here, it sounds like what’s called wake sleep transitional events. Often the awareness that we are about to fall asleep wakes us up. Here, check this playlist, I think it can help a lot! ru-vid.com/group/PL6RQ1GS7B1ci1B__oGwLvLaJ9Da1lmIKs
Hi, I keep having adrenaline rushes every time I'm about to fall asleep. It does this throughout the night. It feels like it happens every 5 to 10 min. Also, little noise will also cause adrenaline rush and wake me up. Do you know what is cause this.
Hi, no medical advice but - you may find it helpful to learn about sleep wake transitional events, we have a playlist on Hypnic awareness and jerks that can help much… oh and yes what you shared here is something very common in our community. Hang in there
@The Sleep Coach School thank you for replying. I will go watch the playlist. It feels a little better knowing I'm not the only one going through this.
Hi Daniel, have you also talked about being extremely sleepy/drowsy for example when reading before you turn off the light and then after a couple of minutes it feels like someone has injected caffeine into your veins and all the fatigue is gone with a big bang? This seems to be the problem right now! Any advice on how to deal with this „sudden“ feeling of being wide awake? Thanks so much
Hi Chris, Yes we call this the Houdini effect. I talk about this in episode 330. Here in writing: One of the most common puzzling experiences is that you can go from feeling sleepy to suddenly not feeling sleep at all! You can literally be having a hard time keeping your eyes open and the moment you go to bed you’re wide awake. When this happens, it seems like sleepiness has vanished, like sleepiness disappeared. But in reality, that is not what happened. It is simply that hyper arousal has increased and it’s masking the sleepiness. In the evening, when you are actually wanting to be awake, sleepiness is experienced because you’re not resisting being awake. But the moment you want to sleep, in that moment you also don’t want to be awake, and that alerts the brain and makes you wide awake! The sleepiness didn’t disappear, it was simply masked by hyperarousal. Now it is important to know that this is completely normal. Imagine that you were really sleepy and then suddenly realized that your oven was on, then you do want to become very alert immediately for safety reasons! Why this happens for no particular obvious reason when you have trouble sleeping is the subtle change of your state of mind when you go to bed. When you want to sleep, that means that you don’t want to be awake, which means that being awake is a threat. And just like the oven being on immediately wakes you up, so does thinking “what if wakefulness comes!”, and that is why you immediately feel awake! So what should you do if you’re having this Houdini effect? Just being aware is really all needed! Because when you understand it, then there’s no mystery. And when there’s no mystery, you worry less and less and eventually it doesn’t happen any more!
Hi so the problem i have is that back in 2018 i had the worst insomnia which lasted months and didnt sleep for days at a time i started getting body pain and i was in such a terrible state I had to quit my job, husband was worn out taking care of me affected my relationship, my whole life at the time. I started on medication finally started sleeping and feeling better but now its back and its back with avenegnce, I feel that I'm so scared of going back to that place and reliving the trauma that I cant help but worry and I'm back in the vicious cycle and the grips of insomnia again.
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you've been facing. It sounds incredibly tough. We're here for you and glad that you found our content. Remember, you're not alone in this journey, and seeking support is a positive step. Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.
Hi Daniel, the article also talks about how adrenaline damages blood vessels and increases cardiovascular risk factors overall. It was the one section in the article you skipped over. Can you comment on this? Hearing about these dangers makes insomnia feel most threatening, and as if it must be overcome or else!
Hi Peter! Thanks for the support 🙂 and you know, we should make a video dedicated to this question, it comes up every so often. I think for now, a nice answer is to think of it as what we call a battle scar. Meaning - eyes are very sensitive, so when we are in a state of heightened alarm, and many discomforts are amplified as our brain is so vigilant, it’s natural that they eyes become the focus. There can have been some dryness soreness there that other times wouldn’t bother us so much. There can surely be a purely physiological reaction to sleeping little that everyone has that then is amplified in this way. For more, check episode 346 and yes, will make a dedicated episode on this!
I want to share because I think it’s interesting considering the fact that I have not had this issue for a long time. Last night thinking about my husband and dealing him dealing with health issues also thinking about my brother who is in the icu and is recovering from covid and thinking about the world kinda got me depressed. I have been getting suggestions on my phone about depressing things considering the fact that google listens to everything you’re saying . I never think about the time I go to bed anymore. And I told my self since my phone is suggesting depressing stuff I’m just ganna go to bed 1 am . I never care about the time . And I look at the time too. Then I stayed there and I could not fall to sleep I caught myself questioning and getting worried next thing you know it’s 4 am . So I’m thinking I’m going to go share my experience here with you. And I asked my self should I share or not, but I wanted to and I felt like not sharing was a sleep effort . 😅. Input? To add In here . My sleep is yo yoing right now because of everything going on .
Hi Malena, You know, when we feel like we have something we’d like to share… I think that it’s never wrong to do so… maybe we know the “answer” if we have a question… but often just sharing itself helps so much. Because we are humans, we are a pack animal, we aren’t solitary creatures… and when we share something, and we are heard, and we see that we aren’t alone, that what we are going through makes sense to others, things can be a bit easier. I commented on another comment from you just now Malena and yes, there are so many circumstances here that would make sleep not happen for most people. In fact if someone said they slept well and felt well in these circumstances, that would be a little unusual I think… So yes just know you can always share what’s happening here, hang in there and I’m hoping everyone in your family will be well
Hi Daniel I can’t sleep at all now at this point I don’t know what to do with myself I tried everything and noting works. I yawn and yawn but never fall asleep. I try close my eyes but can’t sleep I don’t feel like I’m going sleep it feels like I’m just with my eyes closed not sleeping it’s scary idk what to do I lay in bed for eyes and can’t seem to drift off.. is this normal.. I spoke to my doctor’s and told them how I feel and they sent me to speak to a social worker. How is that suppose to help me with my sleep.. I tried over the count medication and noting works I’m scared I feel like I don’t sleep at all I just be awake with my eyes close for hours .
Hi Jimmy, Thanks for sharing and you know, it can be so tricky sometimes… I’m happy you’re here, I think as you listen to stories of others who’ve gone through this, it will make more and more sense. Something that I hope can help is this - imagine asking someone who sleeps well what they do to sleep. They will share the “secret” by replying “uh, I don’t know…”. We sleep well when we aren’t trying. In fact the more we try the less we sleep. Now imagine someone who has tried everything, this person will naturally struggle much with sleep. And it’s not easy, but when we see this, and we do less and less, then sleep happens all by itself again. Sometimes what can help keep us from trying to sleep is to do something we enjoy when we are awake, a nice Netflix show or book… anything that turns being awak into something that we don’t mind or enjoy, this can help so much!!
Hang in there Daniel! Scroll down to where it says 1:1 with Coach Michelle and you can book a time. www.thesleepcoachschool.com There’s also Martin Reed, @sleeptalks on IG is Coach Alina, there’s Beth Kendall (Coach Beth) and Trevor Youngquist.
Adam, no medical advice here, I say always talk to your doctor when you’re worried about your health. They said it’s very common for people in the community here to have headaches and difficulty focusing and difficulties with memory and thinking that one is going crazy. Hang in there! I think just spending some time learning here and understanding will really really help
