Do you want to feel like the person you were before insomnia? Well, then this channel is for you - Welcome!
I'm Daniel, a sleep physician turned sleep coach and your host here on The Sleep Coach School's channel. If you'd like to get to know our Natto philosophy and learn how it can help you feel like yourself again, do check out our playlists.
If you don't have the time or bandwidth to connect the dots on your own - we can help!
Whether you'd like our membership program (Insomnia immunity), 1:1 coaching via our app (BedTyme) or connect via Zoom, we've got you covered! Simply head over to www.thesleepcoachschool.com/ and find an option that works for you.
Hi Sleep Coach School, I am reaching out because of a speed bump I am currently going through. I have for the past 3 months had zero problems sleeping during the summer and little to no sleep anxiety, but recently when I moved into college and the pressure of performing in school and other aspects of my life I have completely regressed. The speed bump I am going through is not just a day or two its been weeks of sleepless nights. I feel scared because the teachings that helped me in the past just feel no longer useful at all. It seems impossible to calm my anxiety down and be ok with wakefulness when I am in a room with a roommate and the only other place to be is my desk other than my bed. I find myself laying in bed filled with anxiety for hours until I have to get up every other day. As soon as I successfully calm myself down the anxiety fills right back up as soon as I close my eyes. It's weird because these nights are really only bad in my college dorm, I guess I feel trapped. I think what I am asking is how can I befriend wakefulness in my situation? And do people regress/have speed bumps the way I am having right now? I am thinking of enrolling in insomnia immunity program, but it is a big dent on my finances so I am trying to find a more affordable option.
I'm not convinced. How come I can have a strong belief that something will work (a pill) and it doesn't and conversely, I can approach another pill with skepticism and it works? I have tried quite a few things. For example: I have 3 different antihistamines at home: one works really well reliably, another is hit or miss and the third is practically useless. They all have similar potency and mechanism of action. Before I took any of them I didn't any bias towards which would work or not. I really appreciate the wealth of material and the work you do!
Hello Daniel, thank you so much for this content! This is the exact problem I've been struggling with. My insomnia began about 5 years ago after a sleepless night with my partner (it was a new relationship and I believe it was just the excitement and an on edge feeling of sleeping with a new person). Ever since then, I haven't been able to sleep with a partner. Throughout the years, this turned into full fledged insomnia where I struggled to sleep even on my own. Since discovering your channel however, my insomnia has mostly dissolved away and I feel much better. However, the one thing I still struggle with a lot is sleeping with a partner, which is what got me into the struggle in the first place. It feels as though there's a deeply ingrained expectation that I won't be able to sleep when I'm next to someone else, and something has changed in my brain. I don't feel super anxious about it anymore but it almost feels starkly different in my mind than a normal night sleeping alone, even though logically I know it is the same. I learned a lot from this video, but do you have any further insights on how to approach this situation and start viewing sleeping with a partner as any other night sleeping alone? I can't help but to become frustrated as this takes a toll on my relationship and I fear for the future when I live with my partner.
Hi Daniel, do you have any advice for hyperarousal due to waiting for sleep to happen? I'm scared of the uncertainty of the falling asleep process, and I keep checking if sleep is happening or not, and this keeps me up for hours :( . I have started overthinking the whole falling asleep process and I'm too scared of this uncertainty. How do I let go of this kind of hyperarousal ? Any advice would really help 🙏
It is kinda wild how much I realized how health anxiety is heavily related to insomnia (at least the way I see it). When I started having health anxiety I was maybe 11 and since I began gaining weight I was worried about having a heart attack in my sleep and then I would feel for my beat and think I was dying even though there was no pain or sweating. Since I also struggle with OCD, intrusive thoughts always kind of win me over during the night making it super hard for my body to do it’s job of sleeping. Especially with my magical thinking ocd where I kind of strain myself to think hard about something or thinking hard to make sure I don’t have intrusive thoughts which always causes tension headaches. I’m gonna have another meeting with my ocd therapist next week and I can’t wait because they seem really smart and actually want to teach me stuff instead of letting me just talk about crap for an hour and nothing is learned so I’m hopeful for the future but jeez it’s tough right now.
Hi Daniel, Did you say at one point in your videos that sleep disturbances can be caused by numerous things such sadness, anxiety, hormones big events, life in general, but when it’s lingering insomnia its then from hyperarousal. Is this true? I remember you saying this but can’t remember what video it was.
Hi, yes this is mostly exactly what I think. The one little change I would make is to say insomnia is from the fear of not sleeping, of which hyperarousal is part. We can also have hyperarousal from anxiety or excitement about a big event that disrupts sleep, but that’s not what we call insomnia.
I just fully watched it and it is so well answered. I really appreciate you taking the time to answer this as this has been the one lingering issue, so I will lean into everything you said and rewatch this video a lot. Making myself know I am safe is a huge thing as well so that makes sense. The biggest thing is me convincing myself I can’t sleep past 5 or 5:30 so I create that cycle, but just thinking “maybe it’s only like this for now, and being kind to myself and befriending my wakefulness that day, and maybe even just laying in bed cuddling my dog are all things I can focus on and look forward to. Thank you once again
I’m not having any more sleepless nights, but I do have some nights of little sleep and then the next night it’s even harder for me to fall asleep. I also have issues around traveling and such also, I sleep very light wake up every hour or two.
I am new to the channel after trying everything like you said. And i had very hard days and nights because i am so scared of not sleeping or being awake for too long. And it gave me a lot of anxiety, now that i am pregnant and i cannot take any sleep aid pills - it drove me to so much fear. I would like to understand why i have become so scared of insomnia and how can i make peace with it..
Hey Daniel is there an underlying issue that causes insomnia ? Unless you’re in pain but I haven’t got that at all ? I went to the doctors they said it’s not underlying it’s from stress and fear of not sleeping ???
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 ohhh understood so the underlying issue isn’t health but it’s stress and fear and worrying about not sleep that’s the issue right ?
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you for confirming I would like to do a video for you for your RU-vid I think it can benefit so many people I would like to help 😊. I know the feeling of insomnia I struggled with it badly it consumed me
@OfficialGaming11_ anytime! And that would be amazing 😊🙏 You can email Kathy at kathyrene@thesleepcoachschool.com if you were thinking of being a guest. If you were thinking of doing one for you channel, please let us know!
Hey Daniel. I slept great for months one bad night for no reason put me stuck in this insomnia loop. When I go to bed try to sleep dose of I can feel I get an elevated heart rate and I go wee wee like 6 times and I feel the worry of not falling asleep. I think my body goes into a fight or flight mode fearing about not sleeping. I slept great for months 8 hours a day literally one bad night for no reason at all made me scared of insomnia then I noticed a few times I fall asleep but like get a jerk jump with a faster heart rate keep going wee wee. I remember I had something like this in this year April for a few nights. This speedbump is sticking around longer. Any tips Daniel thanks 😊
Hang in there! It’s often when we think something unusual is going on and we look for that particular clue that will give us relief that the looking itself makes us struggle. But seeing that there’s never really any difference between the struggle then and now, or from person to person, that can lead us to no longer look for clues as we understand already. This can help much, rooting for you!
@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thanks Daniel for replying. It’s just been so hard and worrying. I slept fine yesterday 6 hours but today I’m thinking will I sleep tonight ? Will I sleep but keep waking up ? Will I get anxiety it’s just a horrible thing to go through. Then I started googling it said it’s a neurological disorder. But I discovered from buying your book and watching your vids it’s not a health condition at all insomnia is not related to illness unless you broke your ribs or got pain. But insomnia is a fear of not sleeping but our brains relate it to illness as we fear so much and we think very negative. Even me knowing Insomnia is not a neurological issue but why do I still worry when I get in bed about sleep ?????????
I get this post arousal fatigue whenever I sleep with my partner. It doesn't matter where, it happens when we are on vacation. In my bed, and also in hers. Does this eventually go away? We are moving in together soon. I end up having this fatigue feeling for the entire day. I struggle with insomnia, but not when I sleep next to her. I sleep all the way through the night typically when we sleep together. Just wondering if this fatigue eventually resolves itself?
Hi Brian, it sounds like when you’re sleeping alone, you have this hyperarousal that both leads to sleep difficulties and it masks fatigue. When you sleep with your partner, you feel at ease, you sleep easily + now the fatigue is no longer masked and you feel tired. Now, the fatigue in this case comes from worries and the mental energy spent thinking about sleep as well as lack of sleep. If both these resolve as you move in with your partner, the fatigue fades away 🙂
Want to chase sleep in the morning because I feel exhausted and need to be alert for my work. Should I force myself to get out of bed. Anything I can do about fatigue?
I'm suspect this is a very common experience. I've certainly experienced it many times and find that it tends to build up more anxiety, frustration and pressure. I think the brain generates the 'what if I can catch an extra hour or two' which is understandable. I've changed my approach and if I've been up, say watching TV and gone back to bed, I will appraoch it by saying if sleep happens then OK, but essentially I'm going to rest in bed. Of course, it doesn't guarantee falling to sleep, however my main focus is to be relaxed with being awake, if that makes sense
Hi Daniel, I’m not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I’ve been struggling badly with insomnia/sleep anxiety caused by OCD. I read your book Set it and Forget it and it was helpful to me, and I’ve been trying to put your methods into practice as much as I can. but now I’m struggling with a new problem. I started experiencing Pulsatile tinnitus a few months ago and it has been making my sleep anxiety much worse. I’m waiting to see a doctor for it but basically I hear pulsing in my ear on and off all day. When I try to sleep, I remember the pulsing feeling and it wakes me up. Somehow, it seems like the pulsing only happens at night /right/ before I’m about to fall asleep, and now I’ve been monitoring myself, wondering if the pulsing is going to happen, and it keeps me up. It seems like without fail I /always/ feel/hear the pulsing sensation right on the brink of falling asleep. It’s been driving me crazy, I’ve been falling back into old patterns just to feel some sort of comfort, and I feel defeated by this. I was wondering if you had any ideas that could help. Thank you.
Hi! Sorry about the struggle but glad you’re here. I’d say, episode 513 is great to give clarity re what pulsating tinnitus can and cannot lead to sleep wise. As for something alerting us at the brink of sleep, the hypnic awareness playlist is great, applies to all kinds of events apart from awareness and jerks. Finally, as for sleep monitoring, check episode 500. Hope this will help much, rooting for you
