I always felt that i was never good enough. Just little things he'd say through the years and the little disapproving facial expressions, rolling eyes and staring at me. The end of the discard included him telling me he was attracted to younger and healthier people who had more balance in their lives. Then came all the insults and disrespect, things he apparently had kept to himself for 45 years. He told me he was lonely and when I dumped a drawer full of pictures of our life together, he thanked me for reminding him that we never had any fun together. He told me he regretted marrying me and left me telling me he wanted more love in his life. They evaporate your future, destroy your present situation and rewrite your past history together.
While in marriage counseling he kept saying that I “didn’t support him enough” and “didn’t meet his needs” (which were endless and always changing. After several sessions of him telling this to our counselor, she asked him “Do you think you meet her needs?” Do you know what her needs might be?” He looked completely confused by those questions since that hadn’t occurred to him. The sessions were just a grievance format for him. In that moment I realized that I had long ago stopped asking him for anything. The only thing he had to offer to the relationship and family was financial and that wasn’t due to his efforts, it was an outside source. He did nothing for me, nothing for the kids, nothing for the house or yard. Nothing.
That’s exactly the crap my ex did. He pointed at and old picture of us from when we first started dating and said “you need to be like this girl again” cause obviously the person I was once he got to know me just wasn’t “enough”
My ex did the exact same thing. He pointed to an old picture and said “you used to be so pretty”. At the discard he said he deserved better, he deserved a pretty woman on his arm.
When you said they respond, "You don't listen to me" or "You don't respond to me." This exactly what that narc said to me during our relationship last year, I went no contact after 2 months into the relationship I started to notice the red flags and that something was off with him and our interactions. I had a feeling he was just manipulating me for supply, money or sex....I felt down for awhile when I came to this realization, but had to face reality and needed to cut him off...It hurt and I had doubts and ruminated for awhile, with moments of wanting that "good" part of him to come to me...but I remained strong and just let it go, otherwise it would be a repeat of toxicity, and not worth the stress.
It is so helpful that you give such wonderful examples of what it is you are referring to when you are talking about specific toxic behaviors of the narcissist. I have watched many videos on narcissistic abuse and recovery from that abuse, and they’re okay, but your videos really hit home, and have helped me heal from the many years of struggling trying to make my marriage work, and all the suffering I endured as a result, and then finally realizing that I was married to a narcissist. Your videos have helped me so much! Thank you for all that you do!
12:05 He would accuse me of not getting on the same page as him and "being against him"... For example, when he asked about buying a hot rod, I suggested discussing our finances together to start. At no point did I say the N-O word, but he immediately raged out when I had suggested that we look at our finances. When I say raged out, he started beating the 💩 out of this thing he had built in the backyard, obliterating it, stormed off in his vehicle, peeling out. I was shocked. All I suggested was going over our finances, that's it! That was the first time he raged out on me. Ever since then he used that scenario against me, claiming I didn't support him... (But I didn't even say no!!!) He just wanted me to be a doormat and blindly say yes to all of his ideas. Anything less made me "the enemy."
I remember thinking SuperBad was brilliant when it first came out. Then I watched it during the pandemic and I was disgusted. I also loved Scott Pilgram Vs The World. I still think that’s an interesting movie but Scott is such a narcissists and I never saw it before. I related to the younger girlfriend so much. I had such blinders on for so long. It really feels like a narcissistic spell where you can’t see clearly and you don’t even recognize how bad you’re being treated at the time.
I loved Marshall in this! My five Emotional Support Animals are the survivors of the ten cats we had when I became disabled, eight of whom we still had when we became homeless. Narcissistic abuse wrecked my childhood and made me half a person; my brother is still trying to continue the abuse to this day, and I was forced to go no contact. I wonder sometimes if I've abused my husband the same way, having unrealistic expectations that being married to him would solve all my problems. Marriage isn't like that. Marriage is the day-to-day living, day in and day out, even if you practice sobriety one day at a time. It just so happens that I genuinely like my husband and that we really do laugh. A lot. A TON. Thanks again, dear, for keeping your delivery clear and trigger-free.
I miss my ragdollcat so much i am in pain, i think of him constantly and want him back, i don't live in a place that has right situation for a cat, such as outside yard!❤❤
He pays a cam model weekly guess this is who I have to live up too. Would love to see her.as to what I needed to be. Soon to be married for 60 years. Never was good enough even in my 20s. Lived a life of lies. Half lies and lies by omitting. . I think I was too good for him.
Hahahaha. There is an old old video of both my cats as kittens on here. I’d love to talk about my cats. Not sure how the rest of my audience would feel about it.
