WHY IT'S A GOOD THING WHEN THE NARCISSIST IS TEARING YOU DOWN 

These people are just mean spirited

I think narcissists are fragile. If anything changes, even if it’s beneficial, they will wage war to stop it. That’s why they react out of proportion to really petty things. I took a part time job to help with household expenses. My narcissist threw dishes at the wall and accused me of looking for other men. There was no way on earth to negotiate it.

No one deserves to get a, "Tearing Down.” Abuse should not be tolerated. Reframing it, is just enabling the abuser, giving them permission. Walking away is the appropriate response. As in, turning your back and leaving the abuser in their physical location. You have to have pride in yourself and remember how your parents would prefer the way you are treated.

Self-idolatry, contempt for, and envy of, others: inseparable travelling companions.

It does not matter , it s hilarious 😂

Thank You. Sad report to younger folks: I was flowing through middle age swimmingly. Met Narcs ( figured it out later ) and Flying Monkeys. I was kinda shocked for a while, until I learned all about this recently. These Narcs were in their 60's and 70's. I naively thought everyone matured by then and those games were left back in high school. Whether it be a relationship or in a social setting, these Narc types are gonna be out there for a long time. Gather all the info you can and protect yourself. It seems the dark side of Humanity. Thanks again for your "Relatable, Down-to-Earth and To the Point" videos!

Very timely video, been on my mind this topic. I think that narcissism is in most of its forms very much just self-deception or lack of awareness/insight. Once you start to become more insightful of the events, you risk them enjoying the fruits of their LACK of awareness (which enables their false self; it can't survive in the face of truth and reason) and they start to see you as a threat. Your understanding and ability to analyze and break apart the situationship you're in with the narcissist, all the dynamics and interplays, is in direct opposition with the validity of the fantasy in the narcissists mind. Of course, for the narcissist, it's not this explicit. For them, they most likely just FEEL it. And once your behavior starts to bring them into awareness of all of this, it basically creates anxiety or stress in them. And then they regulate that. And then we see all the antisocial conduct because they suck at self-regulation. Basically, the only way is to maintain the fantasy or false self. Narcissists have really dug a hole for themselves, and if anyone tries to lift them from it, they start to scream and yell, figuratively or quite literally, until they're either put back there, or because they fall there as you let go of them. If you lifted them high enough amidst all of this, they will hurt themselves as they fall back into the hole: mortification.

It’s easier to stay away from her when she devalues me it’s that mirroring and adulation that draws me to her. It’s obvious (to me at least) that she cannot control her emotions regardless of the public mask that she’s able to put up.

Have you ever considered writing a book? You could publish several and I would buy every one. You already have the excellent material (and please keep more videos coming)! Perhaps each video’s transcript could be a chapter. I listen to your videos almost daily. Sometimes several a day. As I’ve said before, you are helping me through one of the worst times of my life! I was thinking about you and your videos today. I’m sorry that you have experienced multiple instances of narcissistic abuse but I truly believe you have found the reason it happened and it’s to help us! Thank you again and God bless you!

Must be awful to feel so out of control you have to tear down another. But, that's the N. However, what we learn /learned here is how to protect ourselves from them, and big thank you!!! Hope you and yours had a Happy Thanksgiving!

Great video. An emotionally mature person will be inspired by someone else achieving things, not threatened. And I love the blanket behind you! So festive

I had a narcissistic family member tell me that they did not want me to mention cool facts I was uncovering about geography while writing a book on geography AT ALL because they did not know much about geography, and it came across as a way to "be a snob". In the past they had taken some superficial interest in my creative projects, but in the weeks before this comment, this had all changed. Note: this person is highly educated.

That was really helpful. I see so much of this in my relationship. I left 6 months ago and remembering things and feeling crazy and now I know that I am not crazy, He was just being a jerk and tearing me down.

Your channel is so helpful and intellectual! Thank you very much for your videos. I think a good idea for future videos is money, narcs and money, money manipulation, the cost of narcissists' help.

Very eye-opening video. It explains the way a narc treated me a few Thanksgivings ago.

They would rather die than take accountability.

Thank you very much for yet another helpful, not to mention relateable, video and it reminded me of when my sister, as well as many other people, regularly criticised, or downright abused me, over the years. It caused immense harm and I haven't been able to work for a long time, which is an extremely long story, as other factors were involved. It's interesting, to put it mildly, that they've judged me harshly, especially my sister, for not having a job, yet don't seem to be aware of the fact that their behaviour has played a part. 💙

Lol hes like your not even a good person 🤣 im like seriously

I really appreciate ALL of your videos. I am newly, FINALLY, away from my narc.....🎉 YOU ROCK !!! YOUR VIDEOS HAVE HELPED ME SO MUCH & CONTINUE TO. THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!!!

Happy Holidays! Wishing you and your family all the best!🎉🎉🎉

Happy Thanksgiving 🦃🍽️🦃!! So good to see you. Love your videos.

I must have been triggering alot of shame plus my feelings about him was really changing towards him....the tearing down became worse....it hard to look lovingly into the eyes or give a loving touch to someone who expresses such vitriol towards you....I use to be able to excitedly love and care for him no matter what he said or regardless of how he treated me...this past year things starting shifting plus the weight of being okay with all those things were starting to break me mentally physically and spiritually

Oh, and.... belated.....Merry Thanksgiving & an early Happy Christmas ( or whatever you celebrate) to you & all your loved ones. Heck.... just HAPPY EVERYTHING ~~~ WELL WISHES ~~~

Now this is Gooood ❤️👌🏾

Could a narc victim have these same behaviours, can they pick it up from the narc?

That's easy, have you ever seen an empty store get robbed? No. Narcs cannot see the value.

I love your ability to break it all down to those basic root causes in narcissists' belief systems and the emotional responses that those beliefs trigger. It's so enlightening and comforting - thank you for that! Regarding ideas for future videos, I'd be really willing to hear your take on the narcissist's binary thinking - where it comes from, how it manifests, maybe in some unusual ways, what it means for us. And also, by the way, have you ever told us your name? :) Take care!

The Narc does not want to go there. From electrical, electronic, communications to aircraft. She tried I walk away. I try not to compare. The Narc tried vby saying she flew to some place just short of and you? I stated I fix it so it does. (Aircraft Maintenance) I know, sometimes I can be stinky. but, I'm an introvert.

My narc called me mr positivity as a shaming tactic for actually trying to be positive in good times and bad ones lol

He probably felt bad because he realized he married a narcissist!

Love your Christmas candy blanket. Did you make it?

Thank you 🙏 love from Socorro NM 💖.

❤

I think we ALL LOVE your BLANKET.... Now I want one....😊 You could start a side business & sell us your gorgeous blankies !!! I'm in !!!