IS HEARTSTOPPER S2 JUST PURITAN PROPAGANDA? 

my personal opinion is that there has been such an OVERSATURATION of shows aimed at teen audiences that are so hypersexual & mature in content, that its refreshing to see a show about kids just being sweet & innocent & not ready for all of that. We've been given shows like pretty little liars, riverdale, euphoria, etc. that all feature 25 year old actors doing adult things for so long that we've forgotten that there is still a lot of naivety & wholesomeness that comes with being young & a teenager. Rather than the depressing, dark, & gritty vibes were constantly shown, this is such a breath of fresh air to see something so lighthearted & full of hope / joy! kids need to see positive, calm representations of coming-of-age stories or theyre going to constantly feel immature for not going at it like bunnies, drinking / doing drugs, and idk solving murders? lol Having a wholesome show like heartstopper can also make queer people less afraid of existing & show these identities in a normal light. Normalizing "unrealistic" scenarios, like in heartstopper, could lead to that kind of expression & experience actually being realistic in the future. If people only see the bullying, addiction, and tension in shows, thats all they'll ever expect.

I love that in season 2, Nick says he’s not ready. Lots of teens are not ready for sex. Even if they have sexual desires, as I did. It’s still fucking vulnerable to share your body with another human for the first time. Especially when you’re queer and are figuring out what sex even means for you.

it AGGRAVATES me people want this show to be more sexual. I am a teenager (19), I am bi, and hate that every queer love story in western media i've come across just has to have a s*x scene and drugs. This show is finally just a comforting, cute, romantic love story. There are so many shows these people complaining can watch instead. Also, these people clearly don't know many teens, because I can safely say that most 15/16 year old teens aren't having s*x, even if they are dating, ikr shocker. Stop being a creep and let me have one queer show that is way more realistic to my life than any drug induced, partying, s*x scened show.

It's sad that people don't have this same no sex criticism for non LGBT teen shows/movies. High school musical had ZERO kissing, not to talk of sex and everybody loved it.

The thing that annoys me is that in the comics, it’s *explicit* that Nick and Charlie’s relationship becomes sexual-with references to “hand stuff” and condoms and having sex a lot-when they’re 17 and 16, respectively, which is *a statistically normal age.* Something I really appreciated in season two was the portrayal of alcohol (also mentioned by Verily), and how you get characters saying things like “There’s alcohol if you want it, and other stuff if you don’t”, and people drinking a safe-ish amount for the first time in a safe environment. In both cases, it doesn’t read to me as whitewashed or sanitised purity culture: it reads to me as a portrayal of teens having the space to come to alcohol and sex in their own time, on their own terms.

Honestly as a 16 year old like none of my inner circle has had sex. Yeah we talk about it sometimes and some people do have it but I definitely feel like heartstopper isn't any further from reality than all the hypersexual shows. The truth lies some where in between.

FFS, Are we not allowed to have a show that is just a feel good story? I'm frankly fed up with EVERY show that features queer representation as something swimming in angst and agony and sex (also, very dramatic and most times traumatic in some ways) as if we cannot ever be happy. Can't we have a fantasy? Or hope for a better future? It's not even like Heartstopper lacks drama, it's just the drama is about feelings and mental health. If you want to watch Euphoria, go watch it. Maybe, This show it's just not your kind of show. That's ok, but don't police it.

id like to note that even the cast themselves have said that the show is like looking through life and the queer experience through rose tinted glasses. it's meant to be too perfect, too pure, too wholesome. that was the aim of the show - to create a safe, idealised version of what being queer means today.

To me, it's very realistic that a 16-year-old boy who has just found out he's bi and is just starting to tell people is not ready to have sex. Charlie doesn't like himself and he has complex so it's exactly the same for him. Those who say it is unrealistic do not take these factors into account and think only of young men in general.

The person that said “They’ve never had an impure thought, drank a sip of alcohol, or uttered a swear word” is crazy. Obviously they didn’t watch the show because ALL THOSE THINGS happened in the show. Also Charlie and Nick spend the first 5 minutes of the show making out in a montage showing them over the course of a few weeks, like “No lust?” Excuse me are we watching the same show??? I’m mad 😂😂😂😂

I don't drink, I don't rave, I don't party, I don't have sex as a teen. Most of them do, that's probably why I never had any real friends. Everyone thinks I'm boring and not relatable. Heartstopper is the perfect dream world where I would fit into people my age, not pressured by expectations.

I’m a gay man on the ace spectrum. I’m sex positive and want all my queer friends to feel sexually liberated, but it feels great to have a modern popular piece of media that doesn’t prioritize sex. This was a great analysis. Loved everything you mentioned!

this backlash against female authors reminds me of what happend to the author of love, simon. She pretty much had to out herself to stop getting hate. And then the same thing happend to Kit.😢

This is my gripe with no sex criticism. Queerness has to portray intercourse yet somehow ignores the queerness of asexual people. Its not like the boys are sexless either. At season 2 of Heartstopper, they're like 6 months into a relationship. By the time Nick leaves for uni, their bedroom wrestling under a pillow fort will become a frequent occurrence.

Damn. I'm an older queer & specifically remember having the conversation with another boy in high school about how I just wasn't ready for more than kissing (and this was the 80s!). I'm shocked (well, not really) to hear anyone is complaining about the lack of sex in Heartstopper. I will say a lot of the negative remarks I have seen about the series always seem to include some indication that the critic either hasn't actually seen the show or wasn't paying very close attention.

Your comment about how Nick and Charlie’s discussion about progressing physically ended being not what would likely happen, but how many of us WISHED it had happened, really hit me. I do wish I had waited just a little bit.

I think teens get a bad rap. I have two teenagers and they are not perfect obviously but pretty close. They are fun, funny, kind, and helpful and so are their friends. And so were the teens I worked with as a social worker. Also, is it really so strange for young teen boys in their first relationship to not be ready to have sex after just two short months? That’s a really new relationship.

YES YES YES!!!! there's so many ways to be queer and it doesnt always have to involve sex. Heartstopper is closer to my reality than most of these other queer shows, honestly. I think we should have a variety of queer media, some people like it when it has sex, which is ok, but other people aren't always interested in having sex on every queer media. I myself really adore the dreamy and extremely romantic vibes of Heartstopper. But maybe that's because i am on the ace spectrum and sex is not that important to me. But I am also a lesbian and Heartstopper honestly makes me so happy. I wish I could have a relationship like Charlie and Nick's.

As a sexual gay man, I loved seasson two. And I think it's annoying that those people find completely unrealistic that two teenagers are choosing to wait until they are both ready to have sex. As you said, there are SO MANY shows with teenagers having sex in the first opportunity, which yes, is the reality for many many people, is actually unrealistic to think that every single teenager in the world has the same urge. Some people are mad because heartstopper doesn't fit their particular view of what being a teenager is, which is ridiculous. Having to remind people that each person grows up, blooms and feels comfortable with whatever they are doing in their own time is so frustrating. Everyone should know, and unfortunately, but specially queer people should know how damaging the pressure to have sex or to have a relationship you don't want to can be. It's great to have queer show and movies that show sexual and romantic interactions, but it obviously isn't all that is to say about "the queer experience". I think it's great that we have show that portrait sex and show that don't. I think it's great to have all kinds of different life experiences in movies and TV. Heartstopper is just one different point of view. It might not be for everyone, but rarely something is for everyone and manages to make everyone satisfied. And those people complaining about the lack of sex on heartstopper just completely ignored the relationship between the two teatchers and probably didn't read the comics. Not like they needed to to prove anything to anyone, but things have gotten steamy between Nick and Charlie recently Hahaha. They did it in their own terms and their own time. And in my opinion, that is an amazing message for the readers.

also as a gen z kid in the uk and was part of "the" queer friend group like the kids in the show and this is the 1st time i've seen a show that actually seen teens be portrayed like us and the kids in my school. cos yes while some people did have sex young, lots of people didn't until 6th form straight or queer. And yeah i find it weird that lots of adults are giving their opinion on what counts as "accurate" representation of queer kids

Those 2 15yo boys have been together for only like 2 months or something, and it's both of their first real relationship why are y'all calling it unrealistic they aren't having sex?? When I was that age (and that was about 7 years ago), most people would wait at least a couple of months or half a year, if not longer. It doesn't strike me as unrealistic at all. Especially since it's their first time.

Nick and Charlie’s not-ready-yet conversation is almost exactly the way that chat played out with my (straight) boyfriend when we were sweet, adorable 19 year olds. It’s lovely to see it.

FWIW, I'm a 63-year old gay man, part of the "Boomers II" generation. I've seen a lot of LGBTQ+ representation over the years and its evolution---in film, TV, theater. Rarely has anything moved me as deeply as "Heartstopper". It's quite simply, beautiful. Folks who don't like it have quite a few other choices to make. Thanks for this very fine commentary.

As someone who just graduated high school, a lot of my queer friends haven’t shown any interest in sexual relationships, even if they are interested in romantic ones. Quite a few of my ace friends, including me, are tired of the hypersexualization of teens in media. Even for those who aren’t ace, many of us are just trying to find genuine connections to other humans, especially after months of isolation due to the pandemic.Heartstopper means so much to us because it’s just a group of queer teens connecting with each other.

I think this debate can end very quickly: why are they so interested in seeing 2 14-year-olds having sex? I have always believed that these types of scenes are unnecessary, on netflix there are countless series and movies where they put men of 25 years or more to play 15-year-olds, and putting explicit sex scenes to fill out the poor plot

I think that if the idea of “impurity” and “purity” were taken out completely and kids were just allowed to be kids and weren’t exposed to what they’re “supposed” to be then it would be seen as normal. Even in the articles and videos they’re calling the people in the show kids or teens. So shouldn’t they just act like that? Not all teens think about sex and if you do view them more as kids then they definitely shouldn’t be focusing on that aspect. Also they like just got into a real relationship and they’re first out gay relationship. Maybe they just want to take it slow because they’re virgins and scared. Which is perfectly normal for relationships around that age range I think

thank u for this!! i hate the “it’s not realistic bc they’re not having sex” debate bc they’re like what? 14 in the show? i didn’t even have my first kiss until i was 19 and when i was their age i was also having my gay awakening and figuring stuff out and it was beyond scary, it’s an accurate portrayal to how things feel at that age especially to us who were well behaved children and feel like we “missed out”, which heartstopper shows they can still have fun while being “well behaved” and also,,, let’s just let gay people be wholesome!!!!! sex isn’t always in the picture

i am gen z and i loved heartstopper, so i tried to get my straight sister (who is also gen z) to watch it because she loved young royals (another mlm show), and she hated it lol. she told me she didn’t like it because it was “for kids”, so i don’t think the wholesomeness of the show is to make it more digestible for straight people. you’re right it is a queer show for queer people and it has helped me be more comfortable with myself even as an adult

What is wrong with people, they are 15 and 16. In Norway the average age of debut for boys are almost 18. I think it represents pretty much the UK as well. I think people have forgotten how it was when they were young!

I'm a millennial and I love Heartstopper. For some people this is a realistic representation of their teen years, and for some it's not. And btw, since when do all the queer shows we watch have to be one hundred percent realistic and relatable to our own lives? Has everyone who watched and loved Euphoria or Sex Education experienced exactly everything that's shown in those shows? No, probably not, but you can still appreciate them. I love how Heartstopper shows softer sides of queer life than the ones I usually see on TV, and I love how this show also fulfills a function of retroactive healing, as someone wrote below. Great video as always!

I always assumed that the reason Heartstopper was mostly chaste, was because that might be what Alice Oseman knew growing up. She might have been raised in that kind of environment, with her family, and her friends and so she was reflecting on what she knew and remembered. Also because she is asexual, so perhaps sex doesn't hit the same way for her and so she wrote it differently. I'm just guessing on that one. When I was a teen, I was pretty vanilla, and so were my friends. It wasn't until we grew older and went to college that we became rougher, explored, and experimented. Some people just mature at different speeds. Sex isn't everything, humans are diverse and layer people. Gay media doesn't owe the viewer sex. Nor for that matter does teenage media.

Sometimes folks come across like they don't know what they want. I see a lot of unhappiness and frustration. I'm certain that had Heartstopper S2 a lot of sex/sexual activity or substance abuse, it would be called out for being stereotypical by some. On the other hand, since there's none of that [its wholesome and candid] its considered to be unrealistic. Katya Zamolodchikova said something on this matter recently. On a rather humorous video with Trixie Mattel, she says Heartstopper is retroactively healing a lot of us [queer milenials] of bad experiences from our teen days. Fetishism is also about living an alternative reality [through a story], one that offers something lacking in our own and I think that's something this show in particular feeds on positively. I believe there should be stories that make us relate to a reality we wish we experienced.

The reason I love Heartstopper so much is because it shows a realistic, healthy teen relationship. Lots of teens don’t want to have sex, lots of teens just want to be happy with their partner. Not everything needs to be dark, constantly angsty, and sultry like in other teen shows. I can say that Heartstopper reminds me a lot of my friend groups and my life more than any other show ever will, and it’s very homey. I’m sick of teen shows showing what parents THINK teens are doing and not what many if not most teens are actually doing (which could be more like a mix of both!!) if that makes sense😅❤

Look at them, indirectly minimizing ace people because "if you don't have sex in a relationship, it's not real."

Maybe adults have grown up and forgotten but when you’re a teenager there is HUGE pressure to be sexually active. Losing your virginity is such a big deal and it puts a lot of pressure on kids because they feel like they will be left behind or uncool if they don’t have sex. That can also lead to people rushing into having sex with the first person who will agree, even when they’re not ready. I think it’s really refreshing to see kids who take it slow and want to feel comfortable enough to be vulnerable with their partners rather than rushing. Also making out on top of each other, love bites and cuddling, that shit is fun and super cute. I don’t see why it’s a big deal that the deed hasn’t been done yet. Charlie is only 15 and a victim of SA. Let them take their time.

And if I may add: For me the 'lack of sex' played a huge role in making me relate to the show. At 15 sex wasn't really on my mind, and even though I know it was for other people, even in my proximity, it wasn't really a big topic within my friend groups. It's really just now (at 21) that it's starting to come up in conversations for real. Fair, I am likely somewhere on the aroace spectrum, but most of my friends are not, and yet this giggly show is far more relatable than any other teen drama I've encountered. Perhaps glorified, yes, but relatably so. I once heard someone saying something about teen shows really being written for grownups. That since it is usually grown ups writing them, the 'teens' are met with grownup problems and desires. Of course a lot of 15 year olds think about sex, but sometimes I wonder if we, as we grow up, forget all the other things that mattered, that were more present and important at 15. Before we were met with sexualisation wherever we turned. Because at 15 you are very much still a child. Thank you for a very well executed video :)

I'm a Gen X Heartstopper fan and it actually reminds me of the family programming we had on TV while I was growing up in the 1980s and early 1990s, teaching life lessons about how to handle issues and conflicts that come up in relationships and friendships and how to deal with more serious issues like dating abuse, bullying, and mental health issues, but much, much more queer. And it definitely is much closer to my own growing up experience as a bi+ transmasc non-binary person who was also nerdy and very, very single, yet it also represents the possibilities of what could have been in an ideal world if it had been safe to be out at the time. It is aspirational and educational, and yes, it has adorable couples and relatable characters, while also showing us experiences we basically NEVER see on the screen, like the bi+ experience (which season 2 just massively expands upon after the surprisingly good bi+ rep of season 1), the aro-ace experience, and the ways in which Elle and Tao navigate their burgeoning romance, along with the look we get of Darcy's homophobic, emotionally abusive home life. Yes, it is sweet and cute and wholesome, but it is also exploring so many issues with a depth we pretty much never see anywhere else, and in a way that is educational for younger audiences, modeling healthy communication and showing different ways of dealing with issues in their personal lives. I love the wholesomeness of Heartstopper, not because it is more sanitized or aimed at a straight/cis audience, but because it is unapologetically q u e e r, very clearly made by and for q u e e r people, but in a way that is instructional for a more general audience as well. It shows us Sarah Nelson assuming her son's heterosexuality and then later apologizing for saying or doing anything that made him feel like he couldn't come out to her. It shows us the importance to LGBTQ+ youth of having a safe haven with out and supportive teachers at school. It shows us different ways of standing up to homophobic bullies. And it shows us pure q u e e r joy. It is a beautiful show that I will never stop re-watching or singing the praises of. Also, no amount of sanitizing would make this acceptable to the folks who are all-in on the "groomer" narrative. This was not made for them. It was, very clearly and very queerly, made for us.

As someone who was in a friend group that didn't drink or have sex in high school, Heartstopper felt soooo real and validating. Not everyone has sex in high school, and people aren't social outcasts if they don't. Not everyone drinks in high school. It's so refreshing to see a show that portrays a different side of high school that many people experience but is always shown as like severely uncool or being a "loser" if you didn't experience that. I know it's not on par with everyone's high school experience, but to me Heartstopper feels so real.

EXCELLENT! I am with you 100 percent. As an "older queer person" who didn't begin to explore sexual physicality until the age of 19 but who grew up in the US in the 80's where it was all about creating a gay subculture, I find how Heartstopper portrays its relationships extremely refreshing and for me, some of the most important queer representation ever made. By sidestepping the obsession with gay sex the show manages to focus more on the substance of the relationships between the characters and concentrate on a more human and emotional aspect of the story unfolding. It's liberating in the sense that it doesn't bow to the sterotype that all people, especially queer ones, are defined by their sex lives. For me it signals an important evolution in validating queer relationships as not being solely defined by who one is getting with sexually. I think there are many people like myself who have lacked this kind of representation for a long time. I remember being excited by some of the first unabashedly queer shows that came out like Queer as Folk and the like, but not being able fully connect because none of the characters even remotely seemed interested in the kinds of things I was or lived anywhere near a life like mine. I had struggled through the gay subculture looking for something more only to be told I was trying to be heteronormative and not embracing my gayness. I was someone who needed more than just physical attraction and sexual gratification in my life and that was tired of being told there was something wrong with me if I didn't adhere to the sterotypical bed hopping queer. I kept wondering how I had moved from a straight society telling me how I should live and love to a queer one attempting to do the same thing. For this reason I never really felt like I had a community. Now here comes Heartstopper that puts the focus on something else, on the love and life developments of queer characters not defined solely by a rabid need to jump into bed with everything that moves. Respect to those that want that kind of life but they are not the barometer for the whole of queer society. Lastly, I believe that the rise of shows like Heartstopper enables us to see, as queer people that we have OPTIONS and we can decide what makes us happy and that we are not alone. I am now in a 13 year relationship with someone 20 years my junior. I dated a man in his 40's when I was 19. I work in the performing arts so have cross generational friendships all the time so get to see a lot of different perspectives and opinions. No show is "realistic" in fact. Everything on stage or screen is a artistic depiction and we finally have one that puts an emphasis on something more than who we are having sex with and I am so here for it and believe it is so important as representation that each person has choices and the spectrum of those choices is broad and not restricted solely to being defined by our libido. I could go on for a long time about this but I'll stop it here as this has gotten really long- sorry!

heartstopper is a refreshing change of pace in an industry that constantly hypersexualises teenagers and hires adults to play them to make it seem okay. the way that Alice Oseman writes the sexual aspect of Nick and Charlie's relationship is the most healthy and realistic portrayal of teenage intimacy I have ever seen. I'm 16 years old and I'm really glad that we finally get this sort of representation.

As an ace person, I totally understand Alice Oseman's storytelling style. The show is just the result of the perspective and experience of an aro-ace person. We first had the male gaze, we're starting to enjoy the female gaze and, for the first time, the aro-ace gaze has been represented in a mainstream show Also, on a personal note, this is the first time in my whole life that I've been able to recognize my own experiences on the screen, and to feel seen and welcomed by a show. People saying that the show is immature and childish purely based on sex-less content makes me super mad: that's like saying aro-ace identities, experiencies and lifes are immature and childish and, therefore, not valid and unwanted

In addition to how young they are, and in addition to how new Nick is to discovering his sexuality, they’ve only been dating for 3 months when Nick says he’s not ready for anything more than kissing. It’s ok to be horny and also to recognize that even though your body is telling you it’s ready, your brain is telling you it’s not ready. Not everyone has an intense emotional response to physical intimacy, but Nick and Charlie absolutely do, and they deserve to be allowed to go at their own pace. To imply that teenagers who are not having sex is because they are “well-behaved” and written to conform to a societal expectation of purity is to deny the idea that teenagers can be in touch with their own emotions and their own bodies and make these decisions for themselves without societal expectation steamrolling over their autonomy. Converse to the societal expectation to abstain from sex is the societal expectation that all teenagers are slaves to their hormones and can’t help but act on them. I applaud any show that allows characters of any age to self-reflect about what they’re feeling and when they’re actually ready and COMMUNICATE about it! Why is that unrealistic representation? If we acknowledge that gender identity lies on a spectrum and sexual orientation lies on a spectrum, why can’t we acknowledge that sexual readiness also lies on a spectrum? By the way, I may be a woman, but the men I have dated lost their virginity (hand stuff, to keep it consistent with HS), at 18, 19, and 23. The boy I dated at 17 actually asked me to slow down, and we never went below the waist because HE wasn’t ready. After time passed, I realized I hadn’t been truly ready, either, and I am grateful he spoke up. It makes me crazy that people can’t imagine boys being able to or being desirous to postpone sexual intimacy until they feel emotionally ready, because in every group of people, there are a diversity of experiences, and it is realistic to represent people at any point on the spectrum.

YES!! One of the reasons I love the show so much is because I see me and my friend group in it!! This idea that all older teens are all the same is really disheartening to me; I never see myself represented in other media that's aimed at teenagers, so heartstopper is so refreshing to me. It really annoys me that people treat all teenagers the same when me and many others see ourselves in the hearstopper cast. Having one popular "clean" LGBTQ+ TV show isn't going to sanitise all queer shows - especially considering that people seem to be so eager to sexualise it regardless. Plus, there IS sex in heartstopper! In the webcomic, it's been one of the major themes in the recent story (which I'm fairly sure is far ahead of the the show but I haven't finished s2 yet so forgive me if I'm mistaken) so it's likely to come up if there are further instalments in the show. Alice has often talked about sex in her books in a healthy way, so I'm sick of people pretending that she treats it like a taboo subject. Her discussion of sex is open and healthy and it's, quite frankly, one of the best I've seen.

You make some great points. As an even older queer (Gen X - gasp!) I can say that many of my peers LOVE Heartstopper because we are have had years of hypersexual media - great and super fun, but Heartstopper is such a departure from so much that has come before it. Imagine having this as an example as a teen of how queer can be vs the self-loathing closeted person who ends up unalived at the end of the movie. And that's the few times we saw queer people on screen at all. I'll take this thanks. This show is not a documentary - it's fiction. It's no more representative of real teen life Euphoria or Riverdale. And it's important to have media reflect a range of experiences. To say the show is too sexless is to presume a standard sexual trajectory for everyone which is not the case. This will speak to queer youth who feel pressure to be sexually active and don't want to be (yes they exist). As their relationship progresses, I think it will be interesting to see how the show handles discussions about sex, but I don't understand why some are in such a rush to see it. Plenty of other places to go if that's what you want to see.

As a teenager who is not straight and is on the asexual and aromantic spectrum, I really appreciated how the show didn’t hyper sexualize anything. It was the first love story i was ever able to actually relate to and made me feel so validated for the first time in my life. I feel like Alice Oseman being an aro/ace person too changed the way i perceived the show entirely. I never understood people just going “you’re hot, let’s hook up,” which is what happens in a lot of teenage media these days. Watching the progression of their friendship filled me with so much joy and seemed a lot more like what a romantic relationship would like in my life if i were ever able to experience one. Not only that, but Isaac’s storyline this season made me feel so seen in a way that i never had before.

As a teenager I can say that not everyone my age is ready for sex the minute they enter high school. Me and my friends like to talk about the things we read in our books, (for example my friend got the book Icebreaker) and we like to laugh and giggle about it because we can’t think of ourselves doing that kind of stuff right now. In the future we will, but now is not the time. Same for the characters in Heartstopper. Nick explicitly tells Charlie that he’s not ready, but one day he will be. To me that is such a wonderful display of a conversation that kids should be having.

Great points! I laughed when you brought up the Tara and Darcy scene because that was exactly my thought. I really liked your point about the pressure, because I think that’s exactly it. (Vague comic spoilers) Sex *does* become a topic in Heartstopper, the story is just not sex-obsessed and introduces the topic more slowly than many other teen dramas. What’s interesting about it though is that the storyline does become a big deal (in the comics) and approaches it a lot more honestly than most of the show I watched growing up, with awkwardness and actual conversations about it (not just teenagers having unrealistically sexy, magical first times). Which makes me think about your point of it being from an aroace perspective - it’s not about stripping away desire and erasing those experiences, but just approaching it differently than we’re used to seeing in Hollywood. Taking that pressure off. (Also, additional note to the critics - Charlie is 15. He’s 16 when they start having sex. That’s not puritanical, that’s just “I don’t want to write about a kid under the age of consent bonking.”)

I'm so sick of this whole "they should have fucked" mob. My boyfriend and I are almost the same age as the characters (I'm slightly older then Charlie), and we love it so much. We both have issues when it comes to intimacy duo to past trauma, almost every time we get queer characters it's sooo raunchy. With Heartstopper I felt for the first time like I could relate to a character that was supposed to represent my identity.

As a 17-year-old boy who is bisexual and not out publicly, I love heartstopper for being so “clean” I know that me and a lot of teen boys my age have lust and feel the urge to have sex but I personally don’t think sex is super important in relationships especially when first it’s starting out, I hate watching some queer shows like young royals not because I dislike it, because of all the partying, sex and drugs, I know some teens do all of those things but most of it I’m not interested in and seeing it makes me so uncomfortable to watch it and that’s why I love heartstopper, yes sex is something teens think about and it’s important for relationships to some extent but I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone just to start having sex in the first two weeks or less, I want someone who's fun to be around, someone I can talk to, someone who is just like a best friend but different, but better, I don't want some hook up partner who I only see in bed, I want to live my day to day life with them and that's what nick and Charlie have, their communicating and experiencing life together, the good parts and the bad and are being there for each other, I see myself a lot in nick and Charlie, not being out and struggling with my sexuality and the society pressures and with my own trauma from being abused and bullied so seeing them both go through the same thing as me together and getting through it makes me feel like I could also get through it and I guess if that makes me or the show “clean” for not wanting to focus on sex and drugs then fine say what you want but it’s not that we are saying it’s bad and it shouldn’t be in the media, we just don’t feel it’s as important as everyone makes it seem and not everyone wants to hook up after the first date. I don’t believe in saving myself until I’m married but I would prefer to wait around a year before having sex with my partner because our bond and relationship are more important to me and if I really wanted to just hook up with someone instead of having a long term relationship there are hundreds of apps to do that but that’s simply not what I want and I don’t understand why people don’t understand that sex isn’t everything to teenagers or to adults in general, it's just a small part of that kind of relationships. (Sorry if this is hard to read I suck at spelling and at grammar:/ )

I am millennial and absolutely looove Heartstopper! With so much crazy sex and peer pressure being on tv supposed to represent teens, I find the show very well rounded, healthy, and wholesome representation of general teenage lives. Because it is written by an Ace/Aro author, the storylines are able to develop without sexual pressure. Elle and Tao are so cute, my favorite!

its so weird to me that people think its unrealistic. this was probably the first time i watched a show that was more similar to my high school experience. I knew almost no one who was having sex when I was in HS and I get so confused when I watch High school shows where everyone is sneaking out, doing drugs, and having a lot of sex. None of these things had any significant influence in my 4 years of HS. My experience was so much more about grades, politics, and GRADES. And a lot of couples I knew werent having sex yet. Sure there were plenty rowdy people who were definitely doing all these things. But out of my class of 700...there were a LOT of us who really were that innocent. Especially at 14-16. IDK why thats hard for people to believe.

Yes!!! This!!! Not everything has to be realistic to be good. Is High School Music realistic?? Of course not!!! Not in the relationship sense (oh my god teenagers who kiss maybe once in three movies 😳), not in the social life sense, not in the theatre world. Its supposed to be unrealistic. And because its part of the straight world that already has so many more varieties of representation it's still super popular.

Well I was in a relationship and didn't indulge until I was 22... So it's refreshing seeing young people just being young people without being hypersexualised like we're all doing it.

As someone who both relates and is pretty similar to some of the cast it’s just really nice to see such a healthy and kind relationship, but it’s really disturbing how much people comparatively value sex over and how they want them to do it

As a gay woman on the ace spectrum, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was almost 21. I love seeing people in relationships not have such a heavy emphasis on sex but showing intimacy in other forms

I think people often make the mistake of conflating "sexual liberation" with the idea that people are supposed to have "more sex" when the whole point of sexual liberation is that people are allowed to choose wether or not to have sex, and if they want to, they should be able to choose how much, and with whom. For some people (ie ace, aro folk) the pressure to have sex can be just as taxing as the pressure not to, or to do it in very specific, heteronormative ways. The whole point of sexual liberation is that we GET TO DECIDE

Thank you! You eloquently conveyed all my sentiments. To be honest, I really don’t understand why this argument to turn TV series, movies, books, etc. into one dimension of queer representation. I am an older queer, and I don’t understand this generational inter-fighting. When I came out, I devoured every queer movie, short films or anything that had a queer character or representation. For the most part I felt depressed and lacking hope. The storylines messaged to me that I would likely get AIDS, bullied, killed, I had to look like a model, I would end my life, sex must be casual and a central part of my queerness. Our traumas were always on exhibit, and I internalized that message. As any human, we (queer people) are complex, multidimensional with good and bad qualities. We have queer people still being bashed and killed around the world and people are complaining about “Heartstopper” being too puritanical? (Trigger warning) I am a survivor. I had no idea; I could have said NO or tell someone what our neighbor was doing to me in my very early teens. I blamed myself and my self-esteem was non-existent. Which unfortunately attracted a few Bens in my life. It took awhile to heal and to think I was worth something. When I watch “Heartstopper”, I think of that boy. If he was watching that show, it would have given him enough tools to speak up. To understand consent, identify self-harm and toxic, abusive relationships. It would have showed him that he deserved to be treated with respect and what a supportive boyfriend /partner looks like. I think there is space where we can watch “Euphoria” and “Heartstopper” and learn. Sorry for the very long comment and THANK YOU. I needed this!

I like how they portray Elle’s trans experience. Is it realistic? No. But it does model how it should/could be. I especially love Tao’s mom’s reactions. If it’s propaganda it’s not punching down.

“The majority is not like this, but the majority is constantly being portrayed” this resonated so hard. I can tell you my group of nerdy teen friends were absolutely this well-behaved. The odd drunken party, snogging, and one or two couples having sex - but after a long time of established relationship, not 2 months in to discovering your sexuality. Teasing went as far as “omg he fancies you!”. The most unrealistic part to me is how well they communicate - but wow how amazing to have this art (ART, not life) be a good portrayal of what that looks like. It’s also true that gen Z (in UK at least) is having less sex and drinking less alcohol than previous generations so what may be authentic for them is not authentic for my elder millennial peers.

While Alice's sexuality might influence her writting, just like everyone's personal experiences influence the art we create (although i am not a fan of people linking someone being aroace to it being the reason they dont want to include sex), I think a lot of people miss the number 1 reason the show doesnt have sex (yet !) and that is the target audience. The cast and crew have talked about their surprise about how much adults loved the show because the show was originaly created for tweens and teens. The show needs to be watchable by an 11 yo (S1 was even rated +7 in France last year and +8 in Germany). And even when the topic of sex will be brought to the story, it will do like the comic and find a very good balance of not shying away from the subject while still making it still accessible for tweens. So to see adults complaining about this, and about the teens not being wild enough, that the show should have more edge, really feels like adults wanting to take away something that isnt made for them. And about the teens not being realistic enough, I think there needs to be a big subject about how media influences teens' behavior, and the pressure they put on themselves. I did have a friend when I was a teen who watched so much hypersexualized supposidly teen medias that she really started to think that it was embarassing to arrive in highschool without ever having had sex and that had bad consequences. So yeah, the fact that Heartstopper shows that it is ok to not be ready even if you want to, and communicating that to your partner is absolutely fantastic and I'm delited some teens are gonna grow up with that in their head. And honestly, I watch a lot (and by a lot, i mean A LOT) of tv shows, and this is the first time a portrayal of teens has been that close to how my teen years were. So, unrealistic ? For them maybe, but not all of us. Like you, I totally understand the fear behind those terrible takes. And it might be a surprise to them, but even Heartstopper (the comic cause we havent reached that part yet in the show) has been a victim of people trying to sanitize it on the topic of sex. There has been quite a few bad reactions when people realized the topic of sex was going to be adressed, acting like it was gross or even problematic. I think there is a mix of younger audiences confusing being young and not comfortable about sex with "i am uncomfortable so it's problematic", and conservatives ideas creeping into the community. But hitting on Heartstopper, a show for tweens and teens really is not it. And calling it a show for straight people or that cather to conservatives is just bullshit.

I love the fact that this series is not focusing on sex. For me the feelings and situations the characters experience are realistic. They are teenagers discovering love. Looking at each other, kissing and holding hands is already very intense when you are 15. I’m more than 40 yo but I reconnected to the teenager I was through this series and it moved me. I also like other series that are sexier like Elite but Heartstopper moved me in a way that very few other tv shows ever did because it is pure, subtle and delicate. In a world saturated with sexuality I found it refreshing and beautiful.

I think another thing that maybe not most, but many Gen Z people are realizing is that "hookup culture" for lack of a better term just isn't satisfying for them. Do we think it's immoral and that anyone who has hookups is evil or some shit? No, absolutely not. But trying for ourselves what we've seen as the "queer experience" from both popular media and from people older than us, it's often just not that great. It's commonplace to see older gay men complaining about Grindr hookups often being mediocre and unsatisfying. It's far from impossible to have good casual sex, but you have to sift through a lot of "meh" to get there, and is that really worth it? What might seem like a reversal of sexual liberation might not be an actual reversal - just a realization that while we're glad we *can* engage in casual sexual relationships, that doesn't mean that it's right for everyone nor that we should feel pressured to do it since everyone else is. Couple that with an epidemic of loneliness in young people, and it makes sense that people would have a renewed interest in long-term, serious relationships over short-term, more casual ones. And yeah, while plenty of teens have sex, plenty don't either, or at least not super frequently. I didn't until I was nearly 19, which is definitely above average even for my generation, but an average is just that - an average, meaning a lot of people fall both below and above it. I think another important thing is patriarchal assumptions about how teenage boys "naturally" act. If this were a show with a straight couple, and the girl said she wasn't ready to have sex in the same situation Charlie did - I don't think there would be nearly as much backlash. It should be just as normalized for men to say no, that they're not ready yet, etc. when it comes to sex as it's been becoming for women. Despite what patriarchy might have conditioned people to think (even if just subconsciously), men and teenage boys are not sex-crazed beasts that simply can't control themselves because of their hormones. In fact, that notion is really harmful because on some level it removes people's conception of men having responsibility over their actions when it comes to sex. You can experience sexual desire and still say no if it's not right at a given moment. And given Charlie not only has body image issues but was also sexually assaulted last season, and that Nick just figured out his sexuality two months prior, it makes total sense that they wouldn't be ready to have sex despite wanting to. Was that conversation a little too "squeaky clean" to be realistic? Yes, but that more than anything helped the show keep its age rating. Regardless, though, people glossing over Charlie being a recent victim of assault in this discourse is honestly both mindboggling and also pretty concerning - what message does that discourse send to teenage boys and even men in similar situations about them not yet wanting to have sex?

When I was a teenager I got into my first relationship when I was 15 about to be 16, and I don’t think I had sex with my partner at the time until we were both almost 17. I found the representation in heartstopper to be very realistic to my situation. Also Charlie was 14 when the show started. We saw his 15th birthday where they went bowling. I know some kids are sexually active that young, some of my friends were, but the majority I know weren’t having sex. Also about the show being cringey, I was very cringey when I was 15/16 in my first relationship, and I bet a lot of 15/16 year olds in relationships right now are cringey too. Let the kids be cringe

And in the show Charlie and Nick discuss that one day they wanted too, but not now. And let that be Nick and Charlie's story line for now and later on in the comics it explores Charlies body issues and how he has body dismorphia which is why he constsntly asks if his hair is okay or if he looks good and why he constantly looks in the mirror and why he doesnt want to take his shirt off and how he's insecure of his ( TW scars from SH I assume ) which may also be why they didnt have S*x yet.

Honestly even if the show is NOT realistic, it's modelling the right kinds of insights and communication and healthy coping and it's frankly educational. Sure, most teens won't be able to have that mature of a sex talk and consent like Nick and Charlie did. But this show is modelling that communication and how to do it. That representation is soo soo important. Because of this, more and more teens would LEARN how to have these communications and have these insights.

This is a great example of damned if they do, damned if they don’t. People love to criticize and judge the sexualisation of teens or sex and lust in teen shows, but they’ll be just as quick to judge the absence of it. How does that make sense?

*Spoilers for future seasons* ~~~~~ The thing that kills me is that for readers of the webcomics that update like once a week to this day, we all know that Charlie and Nick have just reached the point where they do want to have sex and are dealing with the emotions and logistics of making that happen. The slow burn may not be realistic I guess but it suits the pacing and tone of this story

First, I'll just say that I love both your and verilybitchie's videos. I appreciate the way that you address differing opinions in a nuanced way and without demonizing the people whose points you are critiquing. I think that's a big problem in the queer discourse sphere at the moment. I do think that the sanitization of queer media is a problem, and that verilybitchie makes a lot of great points about it in her video, and you both spoke to a major issue being the types of queerness and types of the individuals that are represented. I can also understand why she included heartstopper in the video, but I don't think heartstopper is necessarily the right target in the larger conversation about sanitization of queerness. Does everything in heartstopper resonate with me, an adult twice the age of some of the characters? No, of course not, because I'm an adult twice their age. But it does make me remember watching the shows on tv when I was that age and thinking oh, maybe I am not really queer, or maybe I'm not living queerness correctly, because I have never seen anything on tv that looks like what I want (not to mention, on another note of bad representation--surely I can't be a lesbian, because I don't want to end up miserable or dead.) I'm glad this show exists for teens who were like me. I take more issue with things like a post I saw the other day about Red, White & Royal Blue insisting that a sex scene in it was so good because it was "not oversexualized" and "not even about sex" but rather about love which...wait a minute. Why can't something be about both sex and love at the same time? Separating gay sex from gay love as though they can't coexist and as though gay sex is usually completely devoid of love is a big problem. What's not a problem, in my opinion, is showing two young teens acknowledge that they are interested in sex but not ready for it. It annoys me that the article you cited seemed to entirely miss that conversation. I'm looking forward to your video on slow burn! I read a lot of romance and have been complaining to a friend recently about that topic lately.

I'm a queer 40-year-old parent, and want to be able to share TV and movies with my kids that represent queer people as whole people, in ways that are appropriate for them. My daughter is 9, and I am thrilled to have Heartstopper - we will absolutely be watching it together in a couple of years, just like my Mom and I watched Dawson's Creek together when I was a teenager (and that was also pretty chaste in the first couple of seasons!). Sharing stories is such an important way for parents and adolescents to communicate about difficult subjects, and I'm beyond grateful to have this show to share with my kids.

Like can we ALL PLEASE NORMALIZE that its OKAY NOT TO WANT OR HAVE S*X?!?!?!

The amount of people who want to see some teens have sex is concerning... and also they just want that because "there is no way gay people can have actual mature relation without being physical" right?! One of my friend liked sex education more than heartstopper because he thought this was a wiely Neely kinda portrayal... And as an adult who is still a vargin I would like to clarify that is not the case... Also in sex education both Adam and Eric also don't go further till much later in the show and they have been seeing each other for months, if not a whole year why can't u question that; just because the title itself has written sex on it?!

I personally don’t dislike the lack of sexual content in Heartstopper, but I also don’t like the people who treat Heartstopper like it’s the best queer media *just because* it doesn’t have sexual content in it. I consider a lack of sex in any media to be a neutral thing. Sex, in and of itself, doesn’t inherently make media better or worse, it’s just up to personal preference whether someone enjoys consuming media with or without it. People who say that Heartstopper is unrealistic because of it’s lack of sexual content annoy me because, well, they’re teenagers?? They’re literally 15 and 16, and even though Nick and Charlie are (very likely) sexually attracted to one another, doesn’t mean they need or want to act on that. There’s a difference between subconscious thoughts and conscious wants and desires. But then, the people who say that Heartstopper is better because it’s “pure and wholesome” (aka: has no sexual content) bother me because that mindset is what can lead to censorship. It starts with people praising some media for being “more wholesome” and “more appropriate” and eventually it becomes a downwards spiral that prevents people from producing media that represents themselves and others. Like, in certain states in America (I’m British so, sorry if any of this is inaccurate) they’re banning books from schools and libraries about race, gender, sexuality, etc. and *that is censorship.* Infighting within our own community is only going to make matters worse.

I am a Gen X, bisexual, mother of 2 afab kids, with Master’s degrees in History & Gender Studies. I have also written a children's book about LGBTQ history. I watched both seasons of Hearstopper with my kids - 20 year old bisexual and 14 year old aro/ace - and as a parent, I felt comfortable doing that. The first three volumes of the graphic novels are rated as appropriate for age 11 and up - and I feel that a lot of the intention with the show is that it gives parents and kids an opening to talk about queerness and relationships. What a lot of adults are calling "sanitized" about the show is actually "age appropriate." So much of queer representation in media relies on negative tropes and stereotypes, like "bury your gays" or portraying queer existence as tragic and miserable. Heartstopper is a refreshing exception, especially now, when the political climate here in the US is so anti-LGBTQ. Is Hearstopper a bit of an idealistic, queer fairytale? Sure, but there's nothing wrong with that. Let younger queer kids see themselves represented in a positive way. Let straight kids see queer representation being normalized in media. Both professionally and as a parent, I am 100% here for it.

It doesn't need sex. I'm ao glad that have actual teens playing teen roles and you really don't want to watch teens having sex. Because if it did and it had things such as subatanxe abuse it would be hated on by the media but since it doesnt it's being judged as unrealistic and it does not make sense. There are too many negative queer hows and movies and for once it's nice to watch something comforting with relatable and helpful lessons.

I love how wholesome and healthy the relationships in this show are. I am exhausted, that all teens on tv look like mid 20 years old, go to the gym and look just perfect and always are overly sexualized. Its not realistic and not all teenagers are the same and there are teenagers who might wait. Also I love that people in that show have healthy conversations even when they fight it never gets toxic accept for ben, but even that doesn’t unroll like other toxic shows would have. Teenagers need more of healthy shows like that!

[24 y/o bisexual here] as someone that lost their virginity around the age of 19, I gotta say that I, at no point, thought the show was unrealistic in that regard. The show also shows them both experimenting a little with like the neck kissing. I personally LOVED the scene of Nick and Charlie having "the talk" [about not being ready to have sex] because it shows how comfortable both of them are to be honest with each other, to actually say when you're not so sure about something, to voice your boundaries. Heartstopper has the potential to be a huge influence on how teenagers will communicate in their own (future) relationships - showing that you should be able to talk about important stuff like that with your partner

Honestly relationships are more than just sex. I hate watching shows/movies and all of a sudden a sex scene gets shoved into my face.

70-year-old boomer here who is obsessed with Heartstopper. It is the teenage years I never had - accepting, honest, loving. It fills me with joy. I know if I were 15 or 16 kissing another boy that much we would be doing a lot more that that, but I'm fine with Nick and Charlie being sexually innocent. Charlie was only 14 when he met Nick, that ought to be considered. The other thing I want to say is Heartstopper gave me the vocabulary to use regarding my first Crush - I just wanted to be around him all the time. I was very Charlie Spring at that age without the supportive family. Thank goodness for Heartstopper.

To the person who said that "they're all skinny," no. they're not. isaac has a rounder figure than the others, and nick is athletic because he plays rugby and has for a while. and yeah, charlie is skinny. because he has ANOREXIA. they don't need to be having sex for you to enjoy the show. there are more things to life than sex.

Heartstopper is such a good example of what we actually want to see as queer youth, a wholesome feel-good drama many of us can take for comfort. Not some oversexualized romance that features 25 year olds playing teenagers. I love that Heartstopper is sex-free, I don't care how "unrealistic" Heartstopper is, I just LOVE that I can watch something I can actually relate too and feel good about myself. And its not just about the love, Heartstopper explores so many themes and very real topics that so many other productions skip over, like mental health, bullying, family problems and much more. Heartstopper is everything i could ask for in a teen drama. 🍂

I love this. Thank you. I watch teen shows like Sex Education that delve into that aspect of the teenage experience. I love the sex positivity in that type of show. I find it interesting, thought provoking, and entertaining, but it’s not an experience that I ever had nor can I relate to it. Heartstopper is the fantasy that so many queer people wish they had been able to live. I can relate to the reactors that you showed clips of because HS made me cry a bit too. I gives me the opportunity to vicariously experience an adolescence that I never got a chance to have. Also, I watched Verily Bitchy’s video essay, and it genuinely upset me. They seem to think that all bi people must be messy, chaotic, and hyper-sexual - no room for diverse personalities and desires. Nope, we must all be the messy, slutty bi stereotype. I really hated that video. 😩 (Edited for typos)

it made me uncomfortable seeing so many people complaining about charlie and nick not having sex, claiming that it's not realistic and implying that it makes their relationship somehow less real or genuine because of it. sometimes i really don't understand what people see in sex to be so important, it's so dumb. great video btw, really liked it!

This is your second video I have watched but you showed me a new whole world. Thank you. As a straight gen x woman I knew nothing about Heartstopper being problematic for some people, about MM culture, about gay vs lesbian film/series making differences, .... I have learnt so much. BTW, I found Heartstopper by accident and for me it was just another love story, cute, unproblematic, but I wish I had been so well spoken and able to set boundaries as well as they are at their age. And I am not talking about puritan culture but about personal one.

THANK YOU! I watched Verily’s video yesterday and it upset me to my core. The thing about Verily’s video is that it implies that they are right. Assuming that they are right about every LGBTQ+ experience based solely on their own experience is ignorance to the core. I spent my entire childhood and young adult life feeling like an outcast in the gay community because I did not resonate with hookup culture, with drugs, and with partying every night. I feel like most media these days portrays the gay community through the lens of non-monogamy, hypersexuality, and deviancy (when compared to heteronormative relationships). Heartstopper has been some of the first LGBT content that I resonate with, and I’m grateful for it. The fact that so many LGBT content creators are saying it’s not representative of the REAL gay culture or experience is concerning. It’s time to end the narrative that any one gay experience is more normal than another. If you don’t want a more heteronormative representation of gay relationships on your screen, then don’t watch. Go watch Queer as Folk, Euphoria, or any of the other more progressive representations. These are kids, young highschoolers, and the sex in the storyline is coming soon, not that it should matter.

Bro I’m legit the same age as Charlie and I have friends who would NEVER even MAKE OUT with anyone even if they’re dating 🗿. So yeah, teenagers (at least, some of them) can be well behaved like this

Thats such a bs. In the novels, they do have sex, but later on. They are only 15 after all and 2 months together. Thats not unusual to not be ready at this point, in particular if one only has discovered his sexuality and the other is struggling with mental issues.

Your affirming analysis of the series presentation of a "near perfect" and "fantasy world" for LGBTQ+ teens reminded me of an insight that I have had for decades. I am 73 years of age, came out at 19 in '69 and fought on campus with the Gay Liberation Front. At 20, I met my partner who was 29 at the time and we were together for 33 wonderful years until his death of bone cancer in '03. During my career in education and psychology, I was consistently open about my life with colleagues, students and *was* 'that gay presence' in child/adolescent education and mental health systems who created/promoted diversity education programs and supported LGBTQ+ children/adolescents. I share this information to underscore the fact that, (as a growing up gay boomer) in my situation I was fortunate enough to *have* the desire and ability to fight back against the Heterosexism of our culture and lived and live a very happy life. I recognize that this was, unfortunately, not the case for many of my generation. Now, to my insight: Regardless of all that was positive in my youth and young adulthood, from the moment, during puberty, that I self-identified as gay, I was simultaneously bombarded by *this* Heterosexist message: You are gay because you want to have male/male sex. *This* is your "identity." But, through the decades, I have always asked myself the "What if" questions: What if your all-boys high school and the culture at large did *not* label you as abnormal, different and *solely* focused upon sex? What if you *had* had openly gay friends (similar to yourself) rather than fearful, closeted frightened and bullied boys? What if your crush on that boy, Peter, (perhaps himself gay) could have been expressed beyond the carefully constructed 'buddy' friendship? What if there *had* been openly gay teachers who could have supported you in the recognition that you were more than simply a being desiring sexual acts with males but a fully fleshed out individual? The answer is: I would *not* have been burdened with this overlay of viewing myself as *only* "complete" as a gay boy/man once I had male/male sex. And, during my teen years, I *did* receive this odd message and *did* sense that until I had male/male sex, I wasn't *truly* gay! A final personal life experience that first brought the recognition that none of this was accurate for me: When I met my guy in 1970 and we were falling in love at first sight, that night (all night) we were so enthralled that we were uninterested in having actual sex. For that one night, he and I were our "natural" selves: We went with our natural instincts and were obsessed with only kissing and immersing ourselves in each other. (P.S. We did have very hot sex the next night and for the next 33 years - but I think that you and other readers get my point.) :)

from a queer who has tried and failed to watch Heartstopper several times, i’m still so glad it exists because i know that even if i can’t find comfort in it, so many other queer people can

Studies also show that teens these days have sex later in life than previous generations (by choice) and that's especially true for queer people (though usually because they figure out their sexualities later in life or get partners later than alloheterocis people so this aspect doesn't apply so much to the Heartstopper characters who have partners and know their sexualities). I find it accurate to me and my friends' high school experience though except for the fact these people date, none of us really did.

My goodness when I was a teen I was innocent. So I could not relate to any teen tv as a kid 😂😂😂😂 I thought it was realistic 😂😂😂😂 what's wrong with showing different types of experiences.

thank you for this. There are teen who are not ready for sex, even teen boys, having such a kind representation of communication and consent is a way of taking that pressure off of them. to see a character you resonate with name their apprehension might help many actual teens name that for themselves. this is a show a parent could watch with their queer kid, even younger ones. those don't exist. what a gift to those families and kids. We are only 3 months into Nick and Charlies relationship, things with change and develop, and I'm so excited to watch that happen!

It’s a show made to be watched by everyone. Sex would just kinda ruin the point of that.

I grew up watching Disney channel so even if it is unrealistic, it’s a good feel show that highlights moments that feel like a beautiful fairy tale and that some of us did not experience! It’s a breath of fresh air to see such a pure love! Ppl really be mad because this isn’t the next euphoria

As a queer person, Im a little tired of being sexualised all the time, that's 1, and the 2nd is that I do not want to see physical intimacy among minors on a screen.

Tbf, they're kids at this point and they're saying to each other they aren't ready for stuff. I remember lots of conversations with friends about not being ready at that age but feeling like there was pressure. I like that heartstopper let's them take their time.

I call heartstopper the "pride and prejudice" of gen z queer teens. A truly fictional story since people of the time represented didn't act like that but still good media nonetheless

It is kind of sad, really. Straight kids get all kinds of "unrealistically sweet" TV on Disney, Nickelodeon, etc. Nobody complains about that. In the gay world, to some degree because we have less representation, we tend to be too fussy. That said, the situations and feelings of this show feel VERY real, and queer folks of all ages seem to notice that. While sweet, there are universal feelings and relatable obstacles and challenges. I would personally prefer that to shows like Euphoria and Generation that get the messiness of teendom without seeming to care about emotional authenticity.

I thoroughly enjoyed this video and your argument. I don’t know how, but I didn’t see a lot of this particular backlash when I watched season one, so I was surprised with how much I have seen it with this season. Thanks for a great video! Subscribed!! 🍂

as a Gen X queer man who had a hand in working on sex education for under 18's...ALL TEENS regardless of sexual orientation want to explore and express their sexuality on their OWN terms, however society with its biases, twisted sexual fixations, and skewed sexual mythos really make that difficult. Teens who want to go slow, go fast, be romantic, try new experiences, are not given the tools to do so. Str8 kids often feel a need to be sexual before they feel comfortable doing so. Homophobia can drive many str8 or queer youth into unsafe and illegal sexual situations. Many teens of all orientations yearn for time to really come to understand themselves. Heartstopper portrays a world, i think imho, most teens and even young adults want; a world where they can learn and explore at their own pace without intense external pressures to act or be something they're not really sure they want.

The way that they are both shaming teens that have sex by calling not having sex being well behaved (ergo having sex is deviant) and shaming everyone who hasn't felt safe or ready to have sex at 16. People are individuals and have sexual desires and feel ready to act on those desires at completely different times in their lives (enough teens get pressured into having sex before they're ready cause otherwise they are "behind") and some never want any of it and it should be allowed to be represented that way.