Is it Because of Me? [Healing From Betrayal Trauma] 

Dr. Ramani is like my RU-vid mother. I see her face and I feel safe, she’s helped me for years through her channel.

The slot machine analogy was absolutely perfect example of staying for the scraps of good days

People also enable narcs because they don’t want to become the target. They essentially throw you under the bus.

I find that so much of healing from narcissistic abuse comes down to following your gut

Knowledge is power. Wisdom is empowerment.

my husband soon to be X just moved out, the entire last month, I watched Dr R, as I experienced Trauma bonding and helped me play the record backwards, I would run in my room and she would straighten me right out. Instead of letting the Gaslighting happen I ran and listed to her and unwound the feelings. Bless You Dr R. !

OMG THANK YOU for the piece on forgiveness. Forgiveness in narcissistic families is too often weaponized - it absolutely was weaponized in my house growing up. But what really happened was that nothing ever changed, forgiveness just became a way to give the abuser permission to continue to mentally and emotionally harm you. I HATE how the forgiveness narrative has gotten so embedded into popular culture, it's basically become meaningless, and has actually allowed a lot of really harmful people to escape consequences for their actions.

Dr Ramani has helped me greatly over this past year. My world came crumbling down around me less than a year ago when I realized my husband was psychologically, emotionally, mentally abusing me. I’m heartbroken that anyone could be so cruel. He knew I was previously in an extremely lonely marriage of almost 30yrs. And he used that information to manipulate and gaslight me.

I’ve whooshed a lot. Mostly because I have trouble comprehending humans can behave like this. I had no idea people could actually be like this. I get so angry with myself for being stupid

Red Flags are behaviors that if we were never taught to see as wrong and dangerous, are behaviors that we accept as normal, & don't run away from. Growing up in a Narcissist Abusive household, I didn't recognize that these behaviors were dangerous, I thought they were normal relationship behavior s. So, when my partner became enraged and started throwing items at the wall, I would say to myself "that's OK, I am safe, he isn't throwing anything at me". Since I had grown up with items thrown at me by family members, I felt safer with my partner bc he didn't throw the items at me. I didn't recognize any Red Flag behaviors from him ( & now I see that there were so many!), bc so many of his behaviors were just like those of my family.

I cried when he said all those good things about Dr. Ramani and how she is helping us so deeply. Thank you to both of you for this wonderful healing conversation!

Couldn't agree more with Kyle, Dr. Ramani is a warrior, helping me and others heal and grow. Thanks for having her on the show. Can't wait to get her book.

This channel is CRUCIAL and ESSENTIAL for my recovery and for SO MANY others! THANK YOU! Blessings. Maria

What a life changer. I feel blessed to happen to been introduced to this wisdom and psychology after suffering too long from narcissistic abuse in family and even friendships. It is a grieving experience and painful but happy to know IT’S NOT ME lifts a HUGE burden. THANK YOU DR RAMANI ❤️

It's hard to admit to yourself that you are an enabler, that you benefit from the status quo and have fears you need to face in order to get into a healthier place in your life. Dr. Ramani talks about things no other narc expert has said. Many whoosh moments Ihave let go by. Thank you.

Dr. Ramani has the correct answer for every question. She really knows her subject. Given me so much insight and help to understand and heal myself.

Following years upon years of being betrayed multiple times by my spouse - even with my sister - the more lovers I discovered he had had, although hurtful to me, left me free to understand that it was never me or my failings - as he implied - but rather something in him he was trying to prove about himself, his inadequacies or perhaps his superiority.

You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now and how much I appreciate what your doing. I’ve been through the ringer so much happened my mother helped her friend commit identity theft and fraud to the IRS and other federal programs in my name I started receiving letters in the mail a few weeks ago both affecting my taxes and health insurance I never thought she’d use being my mother in order to do what she’s done I actually went no contact months ago but a long standing pattern with her has been that she enjoys the pain and trauma she inflicts through others and by gaslighting me so I would have to accept the dangerous people she associated with because if we didn’t go along with it she made threats and attempts of self harm but I want to be clear that with all that’s happened I’m completely done with her and her side of the family because all they’ve done is enable her and guilt trip me into keeping my mouth shut not reporting her etc so I won’t be silent anymore and I am documenting everything.

The comfort you just gave me just by getting permission to have accepted this bad behavior is so healing . It healed the self gaslighting xo love you thank you Love you too kyle xo thank you❤❤

It was very hard for me to walk away i felt so much guilt for doing that and after listening to this it has helped me to understand i was not all at fault so thankyou for helping me break that cycle that has kept me from moving on

Dr Ramani is amazing! Her truth shines through with every word. Thank you!

I love the praise you give Doctor Ramani because she truly deserves it. Her book is AMAZING. I was a little hesitant in ordering it because I know ‘it’s not me’ and like she says - everyone wants to read and know about the narcissist and not about the good person. Well, I want to let people know that this book is also about that antagonistic person in your life. It is such an incredible read. HIGHLY recommend it! I want to thank Doctor Ramani because she could've broken this book down into so many little ones and sold them separately, but she didn't. I would call this book the Bible on 'how to survive and thrive after or during a narcissistic relationship'. Upon knowledge that in this world narcissistic people exist, I have listened to possibly all of her videos (some twice). I can't thank her enough for her awesome work. I have commented on Doctor Ramani's video before that she is today world's modern super hero. She has helped and is helping so many of us. Thank you again. YOU. ARE. AWESOME! ❤️ P.S. Great video Kyle!! I always listen to you as well. 😊

It’s really heartwarming to see Kyle and Dr. Armani back on a video together, especially since I started watching her thanks to MedCircle during the pandemic lockdown. Still such a great team-up!💖

What an IMPORTANT work this woman is doing. I hope I could transfer it to my french speaking fellows. Thank you so much ❤

Thank you 🙏 I feel so broken after my narcissistic ex betrayed me for the fourth time! And every time I was feeling myself ugly and not worth anything good. Still I feel abandoned now and heartbroken even after two months. I don't know how to make myself understand that, cause I understand with my mind how it works but my emotions get me back to missing him

Dr. Ramani is the absolute best. She is doing very powerful work & helping so many suffering and lost because this is a topic that very few know about or understand and is desperately needed. Thank you!

So many podcast and this woman never repeats herself- top one👏

Dr Ramani you are an angel. Thank you for dismantling the hold this relationship has on me. Listening to you you gives me perspective, affirmation, strength and freedom ❤️🙌

Wow. Thank you for this information. It describes my husband and our marriage to the t!!

Thank you so much Dr. Ramani, for what you said about, "Forgiveness". They have made my entire life a running of the GAUNTLET OF PAIN, so I absolutely concur!

I am so looking forward to reading your book Dr. Ramani. Thanks for being you and all you do to help us all get our life back.💜

I'm proud to say I received my book, the Audio, and the Kindle. Videos like this helps keep me sane today. I lost hope in the past, but that all changed now.

I NEED THAT BOOK thank you for your time on these videos. they have helped me more than words can say

Several years ago this site had a calm cool collected yet very aloof vibe. I called them on it. What a beautiful warm, giving, heart felt site these two have provided. I am more than thankful! The open style is wonderful.

Thank you again Dr. Ramani for telling the stories of my life. They continue, but she gives me the courage and peace to keep living, to never give up.

This woman never stop to amaze me with her knowledge ✨By now I’ve listened to hundreds of her talks and I’m still learning … thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏⭐️

Thank you for this very helpful information. I can’t help to notice how pretty Dr. looks. That make up tone suits her very beautifully.

This was phenomenal! I am forever changed for the better. I did not understand Betrayal Blindness and have been beating myself up senselessly for missing to act on red flags from the narcissist. I can understand myself now and let it go. You guys are amazing. Thank you so much. ❤

Thank you so much for this episode. Your explanation of correct forgiveness is incredibly helpful!

This was so helpful to me. I’m feeling that sense of cognitive dissonance in realizing that my family is not safe for me. They all conspired to help my adult son with cognitive disabilities basically run away from my home to another state. He convinced them that he needed to escape right away and nobody even thought to ask me what was going on. He basically villainized me and my wife to everyone so they would help him move.. like he had to escape from us. When we found out their plans we told him to get out. So now we are the bad guys for kicking him out while also being the bad guys for trying to make him stay with us. I can’t trust my parents, my son, or my sister. I just recently told them all that I need space and set up a no communication boundary with them. It’s just so disorienting when you realize that the happy family you thought you had never really existed.

This is a wonderful podcast for survivors of narcissistic betrayal by ones we trusted that cared. When no only gaslight and best to run away asap. But it still hurts and we have to adjust our lives 😔 😪 not ever safe.

ty for this one❤❤❤it makes me think of how i feel when this happened to me and is happening on a daily basis.

Love you so much! I can’t believe the timing. Thank you for making so many of us. Many of us hurt stuck in bed many ways. I’m beginning to understand to make small changes. It was wild SA from rich father. I paid all the consequences of the conflict. I’m not willing to deal with this. I will find a family of love not abuse even if they’re wealthy

He took advantage of my greatest gift, generosity, that cuts deep! He did it with gaslighting and I responded with unconditional love and generosity, he will never have any one as good as me and I will for sure never have anyone as bad as him, lol Thanks Dr R!

Dr Ramani I so appreciate your powerfully true insight. I have been whooshing to the top shelf all my life. And yes when it bites us it really hurts so badly. Waking up to the Truth of it is the other not caring for me. Dr. Ramani is such a gift to help us understand what really is going on in these very painful experiences. I would love a copy of your book.

It's always great seeing Kyle in your videos. Such a sweetheart!

A NEW BIRTHDAY FOR MYSELF!! what an amazing idea. thank you thanky ou

I found my voice & the best decision i ever made was going no contact with an ex malignant narcissist who did unforgivable things to me during most of my life & i can thank the warrior herself Dr.Ramini who taught me & gave me permission to do so & low contact with my narcissistic mother who was his chief enabler Im getting my son to order her book on Amazon for me as im not IT literate...i need to read this book I have always enjoyed videos with you both , you have a lovely energy together & we've got this Kyle!

Signed up, and ready to be redirected out of this hell I have been made to believe was reality.

I've always felt the same way about forgiveness and all this hit home for sure ✨️

guys i love how both of you get older in a very beautiful way. (Dont ever do plastic surgery) watching you makes me feel am in your tribe your are my old friends and we all grow and also grow old together❤i love it!!! also I love the vibe in between you.

💗💗 LONG live Dr. Ramani!!! 💗💗 LOVE this beautiful, courageous, GENIUS of a person! 👏👏👏

I got the book for myself and my sister AND am listening to it via Audible...It's very helpful!!!! Thanks for this podcast. Kyle: You are a great interviewer!

I'm going to give that top shelf in my closet a Spring Clean! Thanks guys for this powerful video 💗

I just filled out the form to hopefully win a free copy and I just want to type out how I’m so fascinated anytime Dr. Ramani gives out analogies to help viewers better understand what she’s teaching and my biggest takeaway was definitely the capacity part, knowing that other people have different capacities in areas of their lives and how it relates to relationships as well. Super great stuff I really love this live, so informative about what betrayal trauma is and what the grieving process is all about.❤

Lots of good wishes to you Dr. Ramani.. Indeed She is providing healing & support to us. The forgiveness part was indeed amazing. That’s the reality. Forgiveness is a divine gift but we shouldn’t waste it for those who have taken ourselves from us..

Like a frog in cold water in a pan slowly turning up the heat and by the time it starts to boil it's too late

Dr Ramani is so attractive in every way..❤

I can so relate to this everything is making sense. I have been out of an abusive relationship for almost two years now and am starting to heal. Thanks for this book.

Thank you so much🎉 I won the book! Looking forward to reading it!

Thank you for such amazing guidance during a very dark time of my life.

This is so healing for me. Thank you! ❤🎉

Wow: this video gave ME clarity. I have to admit that what Dr Ramani has said about forgiveness has blown my mind because I was with sone of that GREAT old time religion. I am going to have to think about this for MY truth. But to be honest I will definitely consider what she is saying about forgiveness. This is about how you feel within youself. ❤️ And "morality" IS both an important word (tradition, rules, society, social groups, etc) as WELL as a word that gives pause to its "untouchability." What I mean, is the word morality is EASILY abused by power abuses.

Omgoodness always get what I need. It’s like reading an Alanon book daily When Kyle said his partner would choose drugs over him! My 24 yr marriage to a narc/addict. His last relapse was steroids & gym adoration Wooosh he’s gone. My future is bright Ty for this content💪🏻

I love the part of forgiveness . Well I will never allowed my self to miss any of Her videos . She put her ideas is so interning way that enough is never enough . In a meaning always you feel some thing will come to you in so many form . Yes so glad I said to every one around exactly what she define forgiveness . I felt victory as it came for the expert . ❤🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Abusers dont take responsibility and accountability for their own actions. They rarely say sorry and they blame others for their actions. Abusers enjoy harming others and they enjoy seeing people suffer. They enjoy the suffering they see even more if they caused the suffering. They are mentally or emotionally immature. Abusers are okay with bullying. Abusers dont want to protect others from abuse or bullying. They want get rid of rules or laws that help and protect others. Abusers dont care about the mental health or physical health of another living being. Its not you its their choice on how they want to deal with their trauma. When they are triggered they take out on you. Its not you

that just blew my mind. compacity... thank you again!!!!

Finished the book, love it...will reread as needed;-)

Dr. Ramani you inspire me so much

Thanks so much both of you.

Wow she is incredible. This video was so educational and meaningful to me thank you thank you!

Omg Dr. Ramani you're amazing. Still waiting for my book but 1/2 way through the audiobook ❤

Thank you! Perfect timing 🙏

So direkt and that is why healing conversation🙏 thank you so much❤

I plan on buying Dr. Ramani's book soon - I highly recommend her last book Don't You Know Who I am

thank you so much for saying that shaming people for not forgiving is bullshit)) i felt a of of pressure from people about this when i said i would never forgive my boyfriend for cheating on me. 1,5 years later i still haven't forgiven. and i feel very confident that i have the right to feel what i feel and i don't care what others think about that

Wow I have been divorced 23 years from my abusive narcissistic husband and this was revolutionary

Thank you with all my heart! Blessings!

Yes💫💫💫Dr Raminis book is the Rand Mc Nelly through the topic of narc abuse Thank you for spreading your wisdom. The good will conquer the dark

Looking forward to read your book/books. Thanks for your information. I’ve listen around a year and then I suddenly make that puzzle.

I think Dr. Ramani is great Dr Salerno is another great doctor on this subject.

Dr.Ramani is brilliant!

Looking so forward to this book.

I’m so happy and grateful For you

Can't believe the forgiveness question ❤ my favorite part

OH MY GODS! 🤦🏽‍♀️ I hope this book is on audio & read my Dr. Ramani!

Congrats on the book success! 🎉👏❤

Preach Dr Ramaniiiii!!! 💖

I love you Dr. Ramani🙏🙏❤️

This resonates with me so much. Oh my

Thank you for the book 👍❤️

BRAVISIMO ON ALL INCLUSIVE & MOST IMP OF ALL ON FORGIVING ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

That's really cool that she said July 17 (~49 minute timestamp), because that is literally the day I walked away from an abusive relationship (the first day I fought back against staying in it) a handful of years ago. Quinkydink

Thank you sooooo much!!!

Thank you, bless you! This was very helpful. 💙 Sincerely, Mary B

best duo!!!!! ❤💙

Thank you so much for your work. Dr Ramani, you should ask to translate your book. There are so few books available on abuses in French, by example.

I love her !

GOD BLESS DR. RAMANI.

Thank you