I would be very interested in the video about sleep. My personal experience is I get a lot of very disturbing nightmares or night terrors and most nights I wake up multiple times, either in tears or panicking. (On a side note, I keep a dream journal and have noticed that nearly all my bad dreams are related to being abandoned, being alone, being empty, hurting and wanting help but being invisible or not being deserving of it.) I've never heard that poor sleep was common with BPD before so I'd be super interested to hear about it from a different perspective.
😂😂 Hearing you mention sleep made me laugh out loud after staying up all night- definitely struggle with suicidal ideation/dysregulation first thing after waking up & avoid the distress by putting off sleep as long as possible. Hearing some tips on sleep would be wonderful. Thank you very much for creating these very informative clips.
Daily meditation is a necessity for me. I have found the best way is to reach for the kind, inner parent voice (which was harder to get in touch with when I was younger, admittedly) and do progressive relaxation or just use a soothing voice and tell myself to let go, it's ok to let go, and then when my body and mind are relaxed enough I allow that kind parental voice to say, "you're safe" over and over. I do it for about 20-30 minutes. When I do this daily, my baseline daily anxiety goes down - not so reactive, and I'm able to call up the soothing parent voice, "you're safe" if I feel myself starting to overreact. Saying, "I"m safe" doesn't work for me, it needs to be in the third person. This 'voice' is not the voice of either of my parents (heaven forbid), it's my own internal caretaker. It takes practice to access it, but once you do, it's always there, always the strong, gentle, secure voice we needed as children. This is the main way I manage anxiety. I've still got it, but the volume is turned down because of my daily practice. Your videos are the best I've seen on this issue, thank you.
Docs always ask me if I'm anxious but usually it's the situation, and I'm not as anxious as I appear. I'm more being overreactive to their facial expressions and trying to figure out if they hate me or not so that I know if I should never come back there ever again, from the bpd.
I love your videos. I am 44 and was dx'd with BPD only 2 years ago. That muscle tension has been happening to me for so many years that, now that you mention that tension, I think it helped develop my fibromyalgia. Please continue doing videos. They have become a key part of my learning about BPD, along with intense DBT. I learn a lot from you and I appreciate you sharing your knowledge here for free.
I have had to put all of these pieces together in the past in order for me to understand what my mate was going through and help me understand what I needed to do in order to cope, (ie. Bad Dreams, Taking meds in order to sleep) etc. I do have ADHD ,she demonstrates the BPD symptoms. and I must say that it is all coming together now . Thanks again Dr. Fox👍🏽💐❤️🌈🙏🏼✅
you are such a sweet and understanding man. i am a daughter of two parents with BPD. you are helping me so much thank you very much for caring about this subject and sharing all your insight. you have no idea how much you have helped me clear a lot up about my childhood. i know i am at risk too.. im 23 and have some of these symptoms.....i need to get help asap.. its been an emotional rollercoaster dealing with parents with BPD
OMG! Thank you for this information. I have suffered all my life and have struggled finding or actually being able to afford therapy. I am now 59 yrs old and am on permanent disability for major depression, BPD, and social anxiety disorder. Your video's are helping to clarify some things for me. Shame and humiliation are big factors for me, but most of my reactions to things are unidentified...difficult for me to find words. Lol. People always want to know why and I have such difficulty explaining. Anyway. Thank you for putting out your video's. I plan on watching them...probably many times over.
Please do that video about sleep issues, I'm really tired of taking 1+ hour to get to sleep only to wake a few times a night... Sleeping through 5 alarms and showing up at 10am at work... Because I have to find and muster energy to even get out of bed. :(
Brilliant. You are giving clarity and insight to so many aspects of BPD in this video that I have been unable to wrap my own arms around that I see in my daughter. “Cognitive fog.” Yes! This is why she has tried so hard yet failed three times to complete a medical-assistant program. It is incredible how much effort and strength it takes just to function in this world for those suffering with this disorder, and when you describe it so clinically and succinctly, it makes us all feel so much less alone and hopeful. My daughter feels that she has overcome BPD, that it’s way in her past, yet she just did a sleep study at a local hospital to help her figure out why she’s having such terrible sleep issues with the nightmares and terrors you described. I wish I could forward your videos to her, but she would be so enraged if I did that.
You speak so softly and with compassion that sometimes I fall asleep while listening to your videos like I know there's someone who cares and understands
I enjoyed your video very much. Found it very informative. Yes I would appreciate a video on better sleep patterns, structure and hygiene. I will search to see if you've already created it since I see this video is two years old. Thank you for the work you do. I find it very helpful and plan to read your book.
I loved your video about depression in BPD individuals. Watched it right before an appointment with a new psychiatrist. I relate to most of what you've described here. I've been diagnosed with both, along with other mental disorders (yay...). My biggest concern are the nocturnal panic attacks. I wake up multiple times in a night (every 30 minutes sometimes) to a slowing heartbeat that convinces you that you'll die. It makes your chest feel cold. Every doctor I've told this to does not take me seriously and they don't really know what to say. The only thing that prevents them is an anxiety med, but even on one I still get them sometimes. I've typed too much for youtube.
I know how tiring it can be sometimes, to do mindful meditation so much, and different positive thought pivoting. If you're struggling today My name is Tonia Fox I am more than my Borderline Personality Disorder. So are you! Keep fighting. The fight is daily....but it does get better when you really dig in and get to work. Keep going guys. The sun will RISE and WE will try AGAIN. 🦋🌻
Thank u. As someone who's been diagnosed with BPD, I would greatly loved if you could do a video on it's learning how to express the different types of emotions that we have. I myself, if someone does or says something that hurts me or makes me feel invalid, whenever I try to communicate, I am continuously told that everything comes out with anger or as anger. Growing up my father was there but not present, my mother had abuse in her upbringing it does not like or deal with anything that's going to cause conflict or real uncomfortable emotions.... Therefore I never learned the feelings that each emotion brings and or how to express those various emotions. According to my mother I was never happy as a child... I want to learn and know how to express my emotions without it being brought out as anger or rage or seen as just being drama. I watched your video on anger, I tend to lead under explosive however I feel a large majority of that comes from my family not discussing or resolving are being willing to hear me. My family loves me but they're tired... I have destroyed every intimate relationship due to the fact that I do not know how to express my emotions without it being angry.. I've taken DBT and CBT... Use my tools. When I it hurt or feel invalidated I become very angry with somebody is not willing to hear me or acknowledge it that then builds on the explosive anger because I feel like it just piles one more on top of another on top of another on top of another yet if we would be able to discuss them I feel that would change a significant amount for me. Finding it difficult to communicate with me causes a great majority of my relationships personal and family 2 end. When I'm expressing how I feel I always cry and I tend to repeat the same thing again and again or the same point.. I'm in therapy but have found it extremely difficult with my insurance to find a specialist for borderline personality disorder can you please provide some assistance or sun tools or other areas where I can research to try to get help with this please. I am 46 years old and I have a very small amount of people in my life which means I have a very small amount of support. And I live with a daily fear of communicating with people because I don't know how to. I'm sorry for the log we did and play hard to follow comment... You're one of the only doctors that I have found that actually cares it I feel that the way you communicate helps reduce stigma. And you make me hopeful that the last part of my life is not going to be as lonely and heartbreaking and traumatic as the first half... Thank you for that
Thank you for another great video Dr. Fox. yes, please make a video on sleep disturbance if you have the time. had a severe incident roughly 3/4 months ago.... I now average 3 hrs of sleep at ungodly hours. and I find this perpetuates the cycles and/or magnifies. and I dont have the tools to deal. thank you
My mom was a chronic worrier. I think I learned a lot of it from her but everything you else said, I have also experienced. I am a kidnapping survivor, (That's all the details I am willing to share on the net) I feel the BPD (assuming I have it) started before that but REALLY kicked in after that.
Please can you do a video on sleep and sleep hygiene. I really struggle with my sleep, as my thoughts are worse at night. I also do shift work, so can make me exhausted and ratty. Thank you. Love your videos, they’re really helpful 💗💗💗💗
Shift work makes it really difficult. Circadian rhythms are going to be off. You may want to consult a sleep specialist and look up circadian rhythms and shift work for tips and suggestions.
I think we all should adapt the being on the "borderline spectrum" mentality. I feel very good about that. Like the autism spectrum. Not everybody is the same! Or has the same issues. We deserve the same, i think. Borderline is a spectrum. I will use that term now. Borderline spectrum.
After my menopause , anxiety hit me hard , I remember I have been coping well with stress before menopause, now I wake up anxious with no reason at all .
Mines the fear of abandonment and getting hurt by anyone els cuz it seems like when my brain adds everything up like it does when things start going south. Compounding all my bottled up bitterness and anger and rage against everyone and everything thats ever betrayed me. I totally resinate with that constant hyper vigilance and anxiety mine gets so high i can always relate it to being water boarded without all the good stuff like the water and social interaction lol this is a more isolated self inflicted lonely more frustrating kind of torture. The worst part being im always just doing it to myself fighting to survive with no one and nothing to really be fighting for or going through all this suffering for besides the FATHER SON AND HOLY SPIRIT as well as my own after life’s sake not wanting to spend any more time in hell or purgatory than i absolutely have to. This guy is write developing these skills and coping mechanisms or whatever is so hard to stay on track with to keep optimistic about so working on these things isn’t seeming like a major pain in the but everyday. Especially if your always alone and have no friends like me you really gotta just take notice of your progression no matter how small the baby steps of progress your making are at the beginning. this is probably the most important part to because whenever you start waiting for anyone els to notice your progress and give you enough compliments and praise to develop the encouragement required to advance and keep raising your standard. Only sets yourself up for disappointment and failure.
I experience difficulty falling asleep because I keep browsing my social accounts hoping that may be someone would send me a message that's gonna change my life
Yes please do a video on sleep and share any information you have about more how to sleep is not only unregulated buthow intensely hard it is to get up in the morning which is my primary regretful going to sleep and the excuse I use to not have a successful sleep rhythm I just feel like I can't get up severe depression keeps me locked in bed till I can't sleep, then it takes at least 2 hours of being kind of domicile (and need 2 joints) before I start thinking about life being with living
Is there any overlap or similarities between ADHD and bpd? Also is being afraid of being alone the same as fear of abandonment? Do those with bpd lack self awarness? I've had the feeling the last couple of months that I may have bpd but there's so many overlapping symptoms my brain is going nuts thinking I align with all of them and feeling depressed due to the sadness I felt when I thought I might have had npd or bpd or aspd but maybe I don't have a sense of self? I always thought since I was alone as a kid I never really got a chance to express myself and see who I really am but maybe it's just because I have bpd? Also I'm extremely afraid of upsetting people and it gives me anxiety especially when I feel like someone is expecting something of me like a conversation and I just do downward in my head about how someone else who was more talkative could be here starting a good conversation and maybe even cracking jokes. Is this due to low self worth or because I don't have a sense of self and am letting outside sources validate me?
It's possible to have both adhd & bpd ♡ regardless of diagnosis you might find some helpful tools in Dialectical behavioral therapy- if there's no one in your area who offers it there are workbooks available online ♡♡♡
@Natalia Petrova 😔 sorry you have so much on your plate, they're all so stressful as a singular diagnosis. Kudos to you for being here & caring for yourself ♡
My hypervigilance has kept me and people around me safe, on multiple occasions. It's hard, I feel, to stop feeding that stray dog because it protects. It's been validated multiple times. Having been hurt so much, frequently and deeply, by people I knew and people I didn't... any help at all, where I never had help prior... why would I want to weaken myself? Yes I am tired and irritated some days, yes I'm sore, and a bit trapped in my house most days... but I'm safe. What's the trade off? I've tried opening up and making friends, trusting the people around me, despite my childhood trauma. I was raped as a teen and an adult as a result. Distrust validated and enforced heavily. The idea that I'm not actually safer, is f*cking terrifying. I'm here, I'm learning... that bite is just too big for me to even fit it in my mouth at this point. Thank you for all that you are doing for people like me ❤
I just got diagnosed with chronic PTSD, GAD and BPD....sleep is a huge problem for me, my brain just cannot stop thinking, sometimes paranoid thoughts about something or someone and also I really hate to even go to gym and I don’t like when people look at me because I would think that they find something funny about me or my hair is ugly or my face looks tired...so I always already go in with my earbuds in my ears so that nobody would wanna talk to me....and I don’t look at people because I’m scared that people would make faces on me...
This was helpful. My current therapist is dead set on giving me a GAD diagnosis while I fit the criteria for BPD. I know they have similarities but he can't seem to see everything else.
I get anxiety similar to bpd. I am afraid of others judging me. this triggers anxiety and avoidance. much longer than 6 month. But I am not bpd. I am HSP (highly sensitive person) which share some feelings with bpd. unlike bpd, I keep my feelings to myself. others will assume I am calm and mature. Maybe there is overlap here...
Have you observed any correlation with borderline/borderline traits and having health anxiety/hypochondria? I have suffered from severe health anxiety for the past five years and I wonder if it is not due to hypervigilance about body sensations. However, I was also recently diagnosed with an inflammatory autoimmune condition.
I know this is a bit late but I'd definitely be interested in a video on bpd and sleep disorder. Ihave personally struggled with sleep since a young teen and am often surprised I am still alive with the amount I don't sleep, mine started with fear and "night terrors", every night I sleep my brain and body thinks I'm dying and will jolt me awake, the mid sleep panic attacks used to be frequent and terrible but I don't get them as much as I did when I was younger.
Yes Dr Daniel please please do a video on sleep. I suffer with bpd and sleep evades me on a number of nights. I can’t cope when I don’t sleep. I do practice mindfulness and practice meditation daily. Please help! I’m at my wits end!
I don’t understand why I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety and depression when I worry all the time. Once 1 thing ends that I’m worried about I worry about something else. Being a mother I worry about them all the time. Did they eat their lunch, are they being bullied and if the nurse calls I’m always scared to answer. Good thing it’s only been minor things.
Dr. Fox, can this hypervigilance be a part of the cause of insomnia? if so, how can I change this after decades of being diagnosed loosely with GAD, and recently with BPD? The system for those less fortunate financially with better health care suffer.
Dr. Fox or anyone who can help me please... How is it that i have major anxiety and don't want to leave the house. However, once in public, i talk to everybody!? I do not understand this.
This makes so much sense. Often when I lay down to sleep (putting myself in a vulnerable state) my heart starts racing even when my brain knows I am physically safe in the moment.
I've been diagnosed with generalized anxiety by a psychologist but I've have over 3 different therapists that believe I have BPD and over the years I've definitely come to the conclusion that I do but going through the process again to see a psychologist again is not a simple task where I live so I'm stuck in a weird place.
What do you think? Where you are and the level of socioeconomic dysfunction is important too. Diagnosis isn't the end all, it's a start. What troubles you the most, identify it and work to find strategies to manage and control it. Hard to do sometimes. I wish you all the best.
@@DrDanielFox I definitely believe I have BPD, I've been suffering from every symptom on a regular bases for about 4 or more years now, and have gone to DBT group therapy which helped, I fined having a official diagnosis makes me feel more comfortable explaining my experience to people in my life but I guess it isn't the end all be all. Thank you for the comment back, your videos have helped me a lot!
I bet a lot of people who have been diagnosed with these disorders were abused in some way, not !over correctly, grew up in alcoholic or dysfunctional homes. I say this because if in our core we knew we were loved and accepted with the gifts and talents that are God given, then I don't think people would get these diagnoses. Any thoughts? Does this resonate with anybody?
Kinda was getting distracted with the different terms and descriptions of anxiety, but I can look back and see I’ve always had it from being in primary school and too afraid to ask to go to the bathroom so I would wet myself instead which always made me mom very confused about why that was a better option, and now in my 30s I don’t have a good memory and I get mentally wrecked if I don’t get to be alone enough but I am struggling with having things that I discover or assume from lack of communication with significant other, that I begin to randomly have chest pain and breathing issues and my mood goes from depression to intolerable of anything very fast. Is that all anxiety or both?
Sounds like a panic attack (chest pain and breathing), but always good to have your doctor check for any physical issues. My next video is on panic and BPD. Could be both.
Dr. Daniel Fox thanks for responding, I’ve only had a couple panic attacks that I know of because I blacked out. But I tried to get off klonapin a couple years ago and I couldn’t function without it. Very glad to see your videos and how you are able to break down bpd with no stigma and judgment. Probably the best place I’m going to be able to address the issue because I don’t have a good history with therapist and trusting that they even listen or care. But I look for any excuse to avoid contact with people.
Is it common for DBT to make things worse? It seems like it made me think more about my thoughts and obsessive about them which fueled my anxiety but I was only diagnosed with anxiety so the thoughts never calmed because what I’m assuming is my core content was never addressed, so I kept spinning around the deeper issues
Also can BPD get worse or even set off after a chronic illness due to increased fear of pain helplessness uncertainty and hyper vigilance? Or can Bpd cause the chronic illness if it is somatic (degenerative disk with severe muscle tension and pain) note- I’ve only been diagnosed with anxiety, but it doesn’t feel complete
I interested in trypophobia since I start having this phobia. Fear of hole and tiny hole. Most of the things I will seen it as virus, fungus, and skin disease. It's so terrible, disgusting and so triggered
I’m so confused I was diagnosed with BPD with panic attacks and I didn’t get help I’ve been struggling with episodes and I went to get re-evaluated and the said I have Generalized Anxiety????? I’m not sure which it is
My video this week is on panic disorder, but you can have GAD with Panic attacks. It's not an either or thing. If BPD or traits is present, try working on the core content of the BPD, which should help you gain control over the anxiety issues.
Dr. Daniel Fox yes, but a dx of bpd and the stigma behind it is unbelievable. Between 2097-2008 the US army discharged 88,000 soldiers, many who had multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, multiple Purple Hearts, and female soldiers who suffered military sexual trauma. Guess what their Dx was? BPD. So that meant that they were not able to receive ANY benefits under the department of veterans affairs. DoD sure saved billions on this and ruined the lives of over 80,000 soldiers. However, this story doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface. Do I believe bpd is under diagnosed? Maybe... as a mental health practitioner myself I see how there are so many overlapping symptoms from countless different diagnoses, but I have a hard time with the broad brush that is swept over individuals - especially our men and women who served this country honorably - with a diagnosis that will be with them the rest of their lives
I have been diagnosed with GAD and depression, and just diagnosed with ADHD and BPD traits. But people around me 100% said I’m the opposite of ADHD. (Myself and friends/coworkers are SPED teachers and services providers.) so the assessments possibly didn’t capture the level of stress, anxiety, and depression, and I won’t really seek more testing for ADHD. Question are BPD traits. I see some of BPD. But also HSP (highly sensitive person). Can you please explain the differences between BPD traits and HSP? I know HSP is not a medical diagnosis has been known and spread. But my psychologist who tested me didn’t know HSP. Have you talk about HSP with patients? Have you diagnosed BPD traits for HSP?
