Is it hard to make friends in Japan? 

Interested to hear your experiences!

I will never forget my visit to Japan in 2019 - we were taking the bullet train to Tokyo from Osaka. I sat next to a lovely older lady named Masae. With her broken English, and my horrible Japanese, we passed my phone between us to use Google translate to talk for the entire duration of the ride. We talked family, flower gardens, about the recent hike she took to Mt. Fuji, and the shining new engagement ring on my finger. We ate our bentos and marveled at the scenery. When her stop came, she stood at the platform and waved until she was out of sight. I still talk to her on LINE maybe once or twice a year, but I have her address - I want to send her a nice letter all in Japanese one day!

Quinlan, The video was more like having a conversation with you rather than you teaching a lesson. I'm not a huge fan of the 5 ways your doing it wrong , or 10 ways to make friends. Great video as always.

My family is Japanese and I was raised in the West, so I kind of understand both "sides". I like your attitude and the mature way you talk about Japanese culture, not simply negatively criticizing things as many RU-vidrs do. I also love hiking and want to congratulate you on your channel content. Keep these videos coming!

Hobbies. I do not live in Japan but have a residence there and visit often. All my Japanese friends come from a shared hobby. I met them all from online groups or from their blogs while I was in the US. From there they introduce me to new people. Japanese tend to be very passionate about what they do. If you share a similar passion its easy (or easier) to start a relationship. Discussions are easier and also you can talk about the hobby in your our country and places they should visit to experience it. For what it's worth I also do not speak Japanese.

As a Japanese person who has spent a few years living abroad, I cannot agree more.

The thing on the right side of you on 7:29 looks like a mystical Sword waiting to be pulled out of the mountain :D

I love these chat-on-the-side-of-the-mountain videos. :)

I moved here a few months ago and haven't made any friends on my own. My wife (native) holds my hand through most conversations, and it's mostly her friend's husbands who text me to meet up for drinks. My Japanese sucks, but I'm learning quickly. Moving here during the pandemic probably was a bad idea in regards to getting out and meeting people, but hopefully, in due time I'll meet some people to hang out with.

I've been having a lot of anxiety about learning the language with the intent of moving to Japan. This video helped ease some of that anxiety.

Most friends I got in Japan, by my self (not being a friend of a friend) is from the gym, hotels I stayed at and small cafés/restaurants I always visit. It always starts out as a customer and staff thing but I always tend to do small talk with them and over time they seem to enjoy talking to me and it slowly goes from there.

I just arrived in japan for work literally on the 14th so after my quarantine ill enjoy making friends as well!

I am so happy you for this video. In 2019 I visited Osaka for 2 week in one night I met 2 guys in a bar we start having a chat, they help me with places to visit. They invited me to meet again in the same bar and of course I went again to meet them. Long story short we became friends. Every month we text each other and Skype some times. I was really surprised but you never know

What an awesome video! Great stuff mate

I used to tell my students, "You can't really learn without making mistakes - so learn not to be afraid of making them!" and it's something I applied to holding conversations in Japan. Sure, it's great to be understood and understand in return, but there's definitely something about playing a kind of charades to express ourselves that makes the whole experience of talking really fun! I think I was pretty lucky with my encounters - I definitely know I've had some negative ones, but they don't stand out as much as the good ones. I'm still friends with the Mama-san of a local bar in Kanazawa, and my tea sensei, even though I am no longer her student and have moved back to Canada. I visit her every time I go back. Mostly, personally, I've found it easiest to make friends and strike up conversations in the countryside. Probably because foreigners aren't so common there, so peopl are generally more curious. I miss having random, lovely conversations with obaa-chans! Wonderful video - I hope it erodes some of the anxiety people have making new friends in Japan!

Very insightful! I think you approached the topics very tactfully and respectfully. Good stuff to know 👍

Really enjoyed this video!

Perhaps the most interesting thing about traveling is precisely knowing how to appreciate not only the physical distances that separate us, but also the social ones. Things would be very flat if wherever we go we don't notice a single difference or need to adapt a bit. I guess you have to let yourself go a bit and incorporate these new experiences, after all traveling is not just accumulating kilometers. Excellent video as always!

Intersting and helpful! Much more so than a list of situations and solutions.

Being a Japanese person on the spectrum on top of having ADHD, living in Japan feels like having the worst of both worlds. For one thing I just can't read the room like others and get judged (or so it seems to me) the hell out for that since I look like Japanese and do speak the language natively but can't do the dance. On the other hand however I haven't yet cracked the code for talking to and exchanging friendly banters with people I don't know very well, which I assume a lot of Westerners learn to do effortlessly since early childhood. To add insult to injury I really like discussing big issues and existential stuff and yeah as you nailed it in the vid they are among the least popular topics here to put it mildly😔 To me it almost feels like tons of people just anticipate some sort of half scripted ritual verbal exchange in conversation and little more, although I freely admit my pov is biased because of my sorry state of life at the moment. edit: I don't want to end my comment entirely with negative vibes so let me tell you I really liked how slick you looked in green, loved the look and your vid as always😊

Loved this video, the scenery and your voice is very calming. I hope to visit Japan as soon as it is possible again and have been doing a lot of reading and research about their culture, etiquettes and trying to learn basic phrases. I've lived in both Germany and England and I definitely understand how important it is to respect and appreciate other cultures and way of life.

I just love your videos , they help me relax...

You def chose the most gorgeous setting for such an interesting topic! Thank you for sharing.

great vid, thanks again, keep up the great work. and love this, you talk your mind

Just a kind heart, open ears and respectful talk... And the humankind becomes friend, or at least nice. I lived and worked in Kazakhstan and Indonesia, I meet everyday people from other countries... And it works out always. Furthermore, I am now more conscious about some Italian aspects as they are seen by other cultures. Definitely it's an opportunity of growth... Oh gosh, it sounds so cliché, but really it works 😅 thank you for the chat... and the mythological beast 🐐

Sharing wisdom, done right, cheers Quinlan

Great video, thanks for sharing! Subscribed!

This was a thoughtful and helpful video and it applies to many places in the world. Also, nice shirt.

loved this laid back video, it must be hard over there but like you say managing expectation is always a good idea Japan and in everything else in life :)

Another well spoken thought provoking video.

Your very insightful! This video is very helpful and sets proper expectation for how to make friends in Japan!

Thank you for this wonderful video ! I subscribed right away.

Thank you for this.

Hi Quinlan, thanks for another great video. I need to work on my Japanese because I only remember a couple of words at the moment. I don't have any experiences to share, but I thought that you made some interesting points which will help so many people on their Japan adventures.

This was very enjoyable! More like this please :D

Excellent as always Quinlan, thank you! I think having a common interest is a good way to go. A sport you practice, a hobby, or even an event, a festival, to have something to speak about instead of just trying to have a random conversation.

Thanks for the video! Found you from Takashii's video interview of you.

Just discovered your channel, enjoyed a lot your video : there is a lot of thruth in what you said. I was living here for more than a decade and i had my share of hope and disappointments in Japan regarding friendship. The first years here, i had opportunities through language school, going out a lot, meeting people from different penpal websites etc, and some of them were really nice. But i came to realize with the years, that after a while, all of those friendships faded. Honne & tatemae is also a very specific thing in Japan, and it took me a while to understand it. Beeing more of a thinker who likes discuting deep topics (not easy when your nihongo level remains basic), not really into clubs, hanging out and stuff, it might be a reason why i lost contact with most of my Japanese friends on the long term. Also, as mentionned in the video, Japanese people tend to focus a lot on the social status also, adapting their behaviour and conversation consequently. I remember discuting with a JP friend telling me he was struggling with inviting 2 old friends to his birthday, because one was a university pal while the other was a factory worker. For me, no issue at all, i don't judge people by their wallet or degrees, but such details are important in Japan for most of the people. /shrug

I grew up in Southern CA and in middle school I studied Spanish for 4 years (definitely forgotten a lot), but I noticed that the vowels in Spanish are pronounced the same way in Japanese which I think makes it easier to learn Japanese. Having visited Japan with my mom, I visually looked Japanese and blended in with the crowds but I dressed, walked, and behaved like a westerner. Oh well. I confused the Japanese that were not my immediate family members. hahaha

I remember when I was an Erasmus in Geneva and a French tutor didn't understand when we said ' it is funny ' in a serious manner and referring to something serious. She didn't take it well. Also talking English around a Genevan dog who was so bewildered. We learn to think before we speak also keep it basic.

Thanks Quinlan

very interesting topic. I hope you'll maybe do more videos about your experience living in Japan

Japanese is one of the top 10 hardest languages

Love this ❤️ especially the Serow! It’s definitely important to be flexible and adaptable when living\visiting another culture. Thank you for sharing your honest experience and perspective 🥰 (and yay for sharing IPA’s!). Bring on all the ramblings and musings!

I recently discovered this channel and I don't understand why its not more popular? You make quality videos, you have made ample amounts of videos, your channel has been up for a while now, and you have been featured with big channels such as Abroad in Japan. None the less I appreciate this content and secretly hope you stay niche for a bit longer so that I can say I was here before the crowd! Keep up the great work I'll be watching!

I have a friend who is from Japan and is also a student and I realize now that I may have used her as someone to bounce Japanese off of, but then again she bounced English off of me. But this is definitely something to keep in mind, now that I think about it. I also feel I may have been a bit too open and emotionally vulnerable to her too early, and perhaps that spooked her. Thank you for your tips, this will help me a lot in the years to come.

Hey looks its quilan again Nice to c u man🤩😀😀

Lived for about a year in Tokyo, made co-worker/friends but no non-coworker friends. I spoke some Japanese but now I'm super rusty and until covid I used to return to visit every year, although none of the co-worker friends kept in touch at all. I've probably forgotten half their names and faces by now. Also working there around English speakers makes learning Japanese more difficult, I learned more after living there by not having co-workers around.

interesting stuff since I have never been outside of america

Thanks!

Knowledge is power and knowing is half the battle

Quinlan, I like 😅 how you nonchalantly have a favourite volcano. I want a favorite volcano... 😂. What is the closes volcano to Saskatchewan, Canada???🤔 Thanks for another great video and for sharing your perspective.

damn so beautiful there

Great video which sums up what I have learned about Japanese people and how different they are from us in the West. However, there was no bear this time and I am still waiting for the pilot eposode of "Cooking with Quinlan" !

Going to be in Shiwa for a week from August 5. Looking forward to climbing some mountains and eating good food up there. As for making friends with Japanese people, it certainly is not from a lack of being friendly. Language, common interests, adjusted expectations and cultural awareness....among others, seem to help. What I love about Japan is that it is Japan.

Love that Rode mic !

It was very informative.This time, not Tohno-monogatari, but Quinlan-monogatari.

HA, well I'm more reserved than the Japanese so THEY will have to open up to ME first. I'm not going to put myself in a situation where I'll get embarrassed.

Hey friend! Keep up the good work! And, I think we have the same haircut :)

Great video Quinlan! I was staying on Miyako-jima three years ago and met one of my best friends randomly on a beach. Meeting Japanese people is easy and this video has great points.

A good well-balanced perspective on making friends in Japan. But....Is it hard to make enemies in Japan? I prefer making enemies wherever I go. Keeps me alert, and sharp! 😎

Personally I think anyone is lucky if they go through life needing more than 1 hand to count their real friends. The kind of people who will get you out of jail at 3am. Otherwise you can have beer buddies and hiking mates etc... but they are just acquaintances. People who have 400 "friends" on Facebook probably think they are super popular, but probably aren't. This is certainly how it worked out for me at my ripe old age, and I really don't mind that. I would love to just socialise with Japanese people, have a great time, but I don't expect to be accepted and become best buds, that can take a lifetime to achieve. Great insight Quinlan, thanks :)

when he first walked up, I thought he was holding a rifle in his hands for a second

My experience is primarily with Japanese women. The ones I interreacted with loved my American gaijin style. Most actually complained about how boring the Japanese men were in comparison. Again, this is just my experience.

I've never been to Japan but I have been the odd one out in situations where everyone else is from another culture. Some people despite being born and raised in the U.S. are raised very much in the Mexican culture to the point I would think they were actually born and raised in Mexico. I worked with people who were either from Mexico and came here as adults or raised very much in the culture. I wasn't raised that way and while I know the language (completely fluent to the point I did translation and interpretation at that job) I didn't fit in. It also didn't help that everyone else was Catholic and they looked at me a bit like the weird one for being atheist after having left the Catholic church in my teenage years. In that case though, I didn't care because I wasn't looking to form friendships and instead wanted to maintain a work only relationship. I like waiting to get close to people by not sharing anything too personal and I'm not the invite people over to my place type of person either. I might fit in a bit easier there 🤔 Overall I am actually closer to friends I've met online and haven't even had the chance to meet in person, some because they're on the other side of the world. Those are some of my best friendships I've had.

What is the watch face on the Fenix 6? I do a lot of hiking and I'm struggling to find something better than the default.

Does this vary from the countryside to the city? I often hear the people from the Inaka are a lot more open/forward and friendly than the city. But is it still significantly less than the west?

I am Finnish and I live in Finland. For me it is easier to make friends in Japan than in Finland.

where is this volcano? looks lovely

I was once on a train and there was a lovely lady who asked me if I didn’t mind if she practiced her English skills on me :D I didn’t so we had a nice little chat. Probably the funniest thing though was that she was a housewife and had a business card on her and I was a copywriter and had never had business cards ever in my life XD So guys, get your business cards ready if you want to meet people!

Man, you are one of the most native sounding Japanese speaker I've ever heard....

Sarcasm does NOT translate in Japan lol I had to tone that way down while I was there.

OCD moment!! Button down collars should be buttoned down:) Great video. Part of the allure of me someday visiting visiting Japan is the idea of being the Outsider. I blend in too well here.

What did your neighbor think of that IPA?

When I lived in Japan I used to hang out with people after aikido, or just do a whole lot of nothing at a motorcycle shop. After a while you get to be one of the guys. People come and go, though, so it does take some effort and there are dry spells. It seems harder to make friends when you get older, too, no matter where you are. Oh, and why are all the RU-vidrs moving out of Morioka? (OK, it's just two people I watch, so it's probably just more of a coincidence, and really I'm just asking to be funny.)

What the heck do people talk about 😭

I wish I had a friend like you around my area in Osaka. Thank you for you videos!