Is it possible I will never heal from benzo withdrawal?

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I think it's important to acknowledge there is not an inevitability when it comes to healing. At the same time, you need to realize that there is a very good chance that YOU can completely heal from benzo withdrawal. I spent most of the time before my taper catastrophizing about possible outcomes. Despite a poorly done, too-fast taper, I managed to heal with time.
DISCLAIMER: this is not medical advice. Before making any decisions about your health, be sure to speak to a doctor or health professional.

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27 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 75

@jeremiemorin3417 3 месяца назад

After my withdrawal ordeal I have a theory that it causes a trauma. I think that the symptoms are so intense that it locks you in a PTSD. Every time you have something that triggers you, something that reminds you of the experience, it's like you relive it again because you have been traumatized. We have been tortured for months, sometimes years. There is bound to be some trauma similar to someone that was abused daily for the same amount of time. The windows are moments that your life has gotten back to normal and the waves are flashbacks that make you feel like you're right back in it. I've been going through it for 6 years now. I have long periods where everything is fine. My anxiety is barely there and my sleep is just like pre-benzo. Then some event triggers me and makes me feel like I'm right back in the worst period of my withdrawals. My anxiety comes back with a vengeance and can barely sleep a couple of hours. I'm about to try EMDR because I'm convinced this has left me with PTSD (my wife is of the same opinion). I'll let you know how it goes.

@windowsNwaves 3 месяца назад

Oh I definitely think you are right. And it's not difficult to see why when you are experiencing these things. It almost becomes, how wouldn't you have PTSD after that?? I don't know anything about EMDR but I hope it goes well.

@allencollins6031 2 месяца назад

PTSD no fkn question about that.

@kmjansen 16 дней назад

@@jeremiemorin3417 You’re absolutely right. cPTSD is caused by a sustained, overwhelming threat to the nervous system that is beyond the CNS’s ability to cope. Sound familiar? I too am looking into EMDR, have found some relief from ayahuasca treatments, and am doing daily neuro-somatic exercises to try to regain control of my CNS in whatever way I can. Many cPTSD symptoms have abated, but there’s enough still there to affect my life and maybe, in small ways still, my choices and behaviors. I was the strongest person I knew before being cold turkey’d so I know that’s what caused it. Anyways good luck, and I’m stoked you have long periods of time where your sleep is resolved and you feel normal.

@JinxTheWriter 4 месяца назад

I'm on day 13.. I can't use my legs much due to stiffness. I have a stutter and only some of the head changes have stopped. BUT I know it will stop with time. I'm grateful to have found this little community. I hope more people in need find it. Because we are all pretty bad ass to get off these.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

Thanks for sharing your experience and for contributing these encouraging words!!

@JinxTheWriter 4 месяца назад

@windowsNwaves absolutely. I need to hear some myself, lol. I'm scared, too. But I know that this is temporary. I have to keep reminding myself this is the result of years of being posinoned by Dr's. This is just my body waking up, and I'm being factory reset. That time frame is different for everyone. Today begins day 14.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

@@JinxTheWriter factory reset is a great way to think of it. But it's almost as if the reset bit hasn't happened yet. You are in the part where everything is all jumbled up and you are on your way to the factory reset. And you will get there. There is a whole other life in front of you. There is a storm you have to go through to get there, but you will. One day at a time.

@jackson505 3 месяца назад

7 years off benzos, I went through cold turkey withdrawal. It does get better, and you will heal.

@JinxTheWriter 3 месяца назад

Thanks yall. Day 19.. no more stutter. Still feel dazed and like my arms and legs have sand bags tied to them then random rushes of hard-core panic. Back at work today. Didn't think id ever be here again. 💖💖💖

@minty2455 4 месяца назад

Beautiful. Thanks for all your support. Love the birds. Trying to remain positive. Look forward to your videos. 😻

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

Glad you like the birds. I will try to find more in the videos. Keep staying positive. One day at a time

@nwicconsultants6640 4 месяца назад

Without going through all the details the last few days have been a series of waves with occasional windows letting some light in once in a while. It is during these times that words like you have just given is a the little bit of encouragement needed to look past the pain. Thank you for those words....they really do make a difference. Funny that sometimes I think that I will be one of those "special" individuals that will never heal...doomed to suffer for the rest of my years. It's then that I realize I am not "special" in that way but in other ways we are all special if that makes sense. Thank you for the words of hope...we can do this.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

Thank you for your encouragement. I will keep trying to make these. Even writing this out is helping you heal. Acknowledging the waves but also the windows letting in some light. Yes, we can do this

@kmjansen 18 дней назад

4.5 years and I’ve healed maybe 35%. I appreciate the honesty because, like you said, those of us who are the worst off need help the most. But I do feel like the majority of people, even within the benzo community, want to pretend like we’re not here as if any more insult could be added to this injury. I was cold turkey’d off benzos when I was 16 after being on insane daily dosages for 4yrs and healed completely before being put back on them in my mid-20s so I understand and agree that healing is very possible.

@windowsNwaves 16 дней назад

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation Keith. I hope that there is still room for more healing despite this long timeline 🙏❤️

@chadiach5234 4 месяца назад

i was one of the unlucky folks how used it short term 3 months only 5mg valium with taper too and im one month off still having withdrawal hope you heal quickly i love your video vibes

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

It's nuts what these drugs can do even in a short time period. Have you seen any improvement over that month? Thanks for the encouraging words

@chadiach5234 4 месяца назад

@@windowsNwaves lots of symptoms subsided like memory problems and dp/dr im left with sore scalp there are patch of my scalp painfull to touch never so Anyone with this particular symptom ,

@MrPeterISABELLA Месяц назад

I took 5mg valium for 1 year Then a break Then again for a year then a break Never had one reaction ever Came off it easy...not one issue. I took ativan 1.25mg 1mg for 5 months And hell on fire severe paws. 5 months only 50% of my former self. The most horrific thing I have ever heard of or endured. And I had disabling lymes....benzo brain is a million x worse.

@Ignacio_Kingsley 4 месяца назад

I am 9 months off. Still struggling tremendously. Rapid tapered off just like you. It’s hard to stay positive when I’m so worried I won’t recover. I’ve seen improvement in these 9 months for sure, but it just feels like it’s so slow and I won’t get my life back.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

What symptoms are you dealing with at this stage? I know it's not easy but try to keep your head up. The waves will pass.

@Ignacio_Kingsley 4 месяца назад

@@windowsNwaves anxiety and depression are the two biggest ones along with terror and fear. Just feels like my nervous system is stuck in terror mode where everything triggers me. Tons of exhaustion as well. Nerve buzzing feeling all the time and cognitive decline. Bad memory and can’t think clearly.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

@@Ignacio_Kingsley I still have quite a few cognitive issues a couple years out, but that live wire nervous system feeling has gone. Terror mode will go away. Have you noticed anything that makes it worse? I was taking phenergen - an antihistamine - for a minute and I realized that it was actually interfering with my gaba receptors, leading to kindling. Caffeine as well. I couldn't touch caffeine until around 15 months off.

@Ignacio_Kingsley 4 месяца назад

@@windowsNwaves im not so sure if I’ve noticed much of anything that makes it worse. In the early months magnesium made me feel way worse but that was really it. The anxiety and depression is truly the worst for me. I mean I know this is an awful situation to be in, and anyone would feel bad, but this is just above and beyond that. Just an inability to feel good or happy no matter what I do. It feels so manufactured. Feels like my brain just isn’t working right after those meds

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

@@Ignacio_Kingsley I know it's not exactly going to be encouraging to hear this, but everything you are experiencing is textbook benzo withdrawal. In other words, it's normal for the situation you are in. It sounds like you are experiencing anhedonia in addition to the other more intense symptoms. Do you have some good days here and there or at least good moments? I asked you about triggers but have you noticed anything that moves things in the right direction? For example, for me, having a quiet place to go on walks early in the morning (once I was up for going out, which took a while) made a big difference for me.

@LenaKim-e6q 4 месяца назад

I like how you acknowledge and validate those who dont heal or heal super slowly but still give hope. Beautiful scenery. What brought you to Senegal?

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

I was actually living in Mali for almost 13 years, but things have gotten really complicated there at the moment. I still have a little guesthouse and restaurant there with a friend, but we also started running scooter tours in Senegal in 2017. We would come over here to do the trips and then go back to Mali. But since the latest crisis in Mali, I relocated here, at least for now, with my family.

@Jeremy-wy2qc 4 месяца назад

I praise you.for.your work tho...iv made mt choice ...fuck the system iv had enought !

@kritikos8877 4 месяца назад

Did you experience burning skin and tinnitus? I'm 5 months off and these are my most stubborn symptoms along with some morning anxiety. People talk about complete healing but sometimes the tinnitus remains unfortunately

@windowsNwaves 3 месяца назад

Tinnitus, yes. And yes, it was stubborn. Month 5 was still very difficult for me overall. It was 9 months that I really felt things turning in the right direction. But everyone's different.

@kritikos8877 3 месяца назад

Thank you for responding. I'm so happy you are doing well. I hope you weren't left with significant PTSD from this experience.

@kritikos8877 3 месяца назад

I'm starting month 6 now... praying it's going to be a good one for me.

@windowsNwaves 3 месяца назад

@@kritikos8877 Im praying its going to be a good one for you too

@susanmorgan4151 3 месяца назад

Yes!

@111585sandman 3 месяца назад

Antibiotics also have crazy adverse reactions, I have my share from doxycycline and bactrim, good lord these a devil pills. Had similar side effects on my cns, neuro toxicity. Extreme mental illness for months. I can understand.

@windowsNwaves 3 месяца назад

You are right about antibiotics. A lot of people never consider the possibility that an antibiotic might have consequences for our nervous system. There are a heap of antibiotics that can provoke kindling during benzo withdrawal!!

@Thomas-j2g6x 3 месяца назад

I no a lot of people that have been on antibiotics that ain’t like this I blame more of the benzos then anything

@windowsNwaves 3 месяца назад

@@Thomas-j2g6xoh definitely, between the two of them it's night and day.

@111585sandman 3 месяца назад

@@Thomas-j2g6x look up cipro or levaquin antibiotic and you can see what it does. It’s a very strong antibiotic that I also took. And man o man.

@michaeljlink 4 месяца назад

I wonder if I’ll heal or not all the time.

@windowsNwaves 4 месяца назад

how far along are you?

@michaeljlink 4 месяца назад

@@windowsNwaves Same as you... 2 years off everything on July 4th. I was on Xanax for over 20 years, HEAVY Adderall for over 15 years, and various SSRIs like Cymbalta throughout the years. Now that I'm off everything, I have no mental issues since eating a keto/carnivore diet. My current issues are fatigue and muscle tension/spasms. I can do an activity for about an hour every so often and then i'm pooped. Haven't worked in over 10 years dealing with this crap. I still have hope for recovery. It's just extremely slow.