Is Kingdom Hearts III "Unreviewable"? 

"Sometimes Kingdom Hearts is more glue than material." -back of the box quote for the ages

This video is objectively correct.

I thought it was hilarious how he sounded like Young Xehanort to me the whole video. I don’t know if this was intentional, but 10/10 😂 🙌🏾

"You don't need validation from ANYONE ELSE to like something". EVERYONE needs to learn this valuable lesson. Just a few of my "Unpopular" likes: Deadly Towers -- NES Castlevania 64 Games -- N64 Batman and Robin -- 1997 Mortal Kombat Annihilation -- 1997 The Last Jedi -- 2017 Love what you enjoy!! ;)

Honestly, when i started this video i didn't believe i was a true kingdom hearts fan, but by the end, i realized i had been lying to myself

"Kingdom Hearts is a slow-motion timelapse noise-rock performance-art exhibition of video game development", should be the box quote.

Dodging the KH3 leaks like its bullets in nam

See... the problem with Kotaku is that's not called Timtaku. Tim Rogers is amazing.

I came to laugh at a few kingdom hearts jokes, not question the things I’ve said and opinions I’ve had throughout my life and wonder how I’ve grown, man...

"Huh?" - Mickey Mouse That sums up the entire series.

265/2 Hours made me burst out laughing 😂

It's funny because i told myself that i wouldnt watch any reviews or KH3 because i was afraid of potential spoilers, but now i think deep down i just didnt want to hear anything negative about it...

How is it possible that his videos are getting even BETTER?!

I was a little worried at the beginning of the video, but I was foolish to think even for a minute to think even for a moment that I couldn't trust Tim Rogers. Thank you, Tim! I was a huge fan in the 2000s and then the series kinda outran me in the 2010s, but I still remember the joy I felt in middle school playing these games so it frustrates me when people belittle the fans. Your fan fiction analogy hit the nail on the head! Kingdom Hearts is THE middle schooler fan fiction for the AGES, and there ain't a thing wrong with that!

You wrote the Dragon Quest review too, right? God I love your reviews and writing.

"The more 'matter-of-factly' I explain the plot of Kingdom Hearts, the more you're going to think I'm making fun of it." LOL

Everything you’re saying is exactly how I feel lol pretty much won’t read a single review of the game, it’ll muddy my experience, I’ve been in this game since middle school and I’m 27 now

Entertainment today *IS* Kingdom Hearts.

"Your love for Kingdom Hearts is the only ten out of ten score that Kingdom Hearts 3 could ever need" Why am I crying?

I must admit I was clickbaited into this video. The point you tried making isn't that KH3 is "unreviewable", but rather a review is "unnecessary" for it to be enjoyed properly. And let's face it, this is true for a very large percentage of games (though admittedly not for many of today's AAA titles).

I think the highpoint of Tim Rogers videos are the chance to learn more about this mythical man... now to start browsing fashion catalogues from 2003-2010....

Disney, Square, and spiky hair! these were the ingredients chose to create the perfect game, but Nomura accidentally added an extra ingredient: convoluted plot. thus Kingdom hearts was born! With the power of the keyblade. Sora, Donald, and Goofy have dedicated their lives to fight the heartless and forces of darkness!

Kingdom Hearts is video games Kingdom Hearts is entertainment Kingdom Hearts is *LIGHT*

ThIs Is NoT aCcUrAtE!!! Sora isn't a real person: he's actually a character in a dream sequence of Donald Duck's son's nightmare. Everytime goofy says "gawrsh" it actually makes the heartless stronger. Mickey mouse went back in time to kill Donalds son & this caused Sora to become a nobody. They named him Riku & he became friends with himself & a homeless girl on an island. That's where the first game starts.

Literally just looked at the title and was like, this is a Tim Roger's video!

This is the greatest video ever. And yes...i did freak out when you said Sora was 15...

I took your advice Tim. Did not read any reviews, even yours. I played KH1 until i got stuck at the little mermaid level. It scarred my ego so hard I never picked up another KH game again, but I did listen to the music. I decided to jump in blind, and the game is a joy to play. Thank you. For everything.

Your voice sounds good enough to be a member of Organization XIII. Do join. I heard they are recruiting.

Yes Tim makes game better with his passion

Every time a kotaku video pops up in my sub box, I pray it's a blessing from Tim Rogers

YOU'RE WRONG SORA WAS NOT 15 YEARS OLD YOU SON OF A... oh- oh your good

The huh at the end got me! Good stuff Tim. It's true though, any Kingdom Hearts fan knows they'll be getting the game regardless of what anyone says about it.

What's up Tim? I had spend 120 hours doing platinum trophy in Dragon Quest XI because of you. I'll also play KH3 at premiere cause i love the series :)

Sora is now 28

I don't care one whit about Kingdom Hearts, but this is amazing. Thank you for the wonderful commentary regarding criticism and finding your own way. Everyone should pause and read the end, because it's true for pretty much everything in life.

Thank you, for all of this. My love for the series has only grown as a result of the video, reminding me it’s about what I enjoy about it and not what others think. We could honestly use more reminders written into reviews that they are exactly that: opinions. This video was also an opinion, but it was a well-thought out and well-supported case to encourage people to ultimately make their own decisions about what they look for and like about video games, which also extends to most other aspects of life.

Tim, why didn't you include a link in the description to somewhere we can read your old Kingdom Hearts II review? C'mon, man, fix that ASAP!

But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Kingdom Hearts.

You actually called me out I was like he ain't 15 later "I baited you

ive seen a ridiculous amount of arguments for and against kingdom hearts as a series, both sides make good points, but I've come to the realization that kingdom hearts is about the vibes, and you either feel it or you don't. If you dont theres no reason to get mad at those of us who do. also this video is hilarious.

Tim Rogers is a very knowledgeable man when it comes to JRPGs.

Everglow's series is in my opinion THE best way to catch up on the story of the series and a great way for newcomers to get to know the lore and characters. I'm one of those diehard fans that have been following the series since it first came out and even I needed a story refresher myself, and watching that series was a huge help to me. I even got my boyfriend to start watching it and he's never played the games!

This non-review got me so hyped that it would be an immaculate game. And then, it was just a game. And now I just want a review.

“At times, Kingdom hearts is more glue, than material.” Lol, dead on. But that glue, is actually better than any material at times as well.

if you don't overtly make fun of kingdom hearts then you're not a real kh fan sorry it's just facts

This video encapsulates everything I've been wanting people to understand for years...

How did this video make me: laugh, cry, get hype, feel my age, reinvigorate my love of KH, restore my faith in humanity, refresh my love of writing about video games, feel empowered, feel earnest, love video games more than I already do? Tim Rogers is the true wizard warrior.

I usually watch videos and never leave a like but this video was well deserved of one. You’ve also earned yourself a sub just for respecting the love that kingdom hearts fans share for the series. I personally have played all kingdom hearts games and have spent at least 10,000 hrs on all games together and probably 2-3000 on kingdom hearts 2 alone. I’m glad to say that this video is the best way to describe Kingdom Hearts in all its glory. Thank you! “May your heart be your guiding key”

I am not a real KH fan but I am a **huge** Haley Joel Osmond fan.

"Huh?"

At 13:31, is that a "Darkness in Darkness" joke lol because I like it

Tim, From numerous Kotaku videos that I've seen, you come off as a person who wouldn't care much for what I am about to say, especially since I am a stranger and that you're pushing 40 years old BUT, you're my favorite journalist/reviewer of videogames of all time, across all platforms. The contents you produce are not only creative but are also inspiring.

I have to write a review for the Gaming Community newsletter at my job. The hardest part is that my reviews have to be 400 words or less. How the hell am I gonna write a review in 400 words or less man? Dunno but I did one for Red Dead the same way. Distilling thoughts down that small is harder than it sounds.

TIM ROGERS 2020

My first game was 358 a game that takes place before and and after the middle game between 1 and 2 and is a mostly self contained story that won't even have impact until 3 and 358 is one of the worst gameplay wise in many people's opinions but I'm a huge fan of the series story characters and all if I could get into the series then anyone can. It's also nice to see someone argue against the point of not being rude to fans who actually care about the story because they think it's stupid or too convoluted and that games aren't allowed to have a built up story

"Dear Kingdom Hearts fans, I FEAR YOU", aww aren't you sweet.

I can see it being the #1 best seller in Japan. But the people that made Detroit Become Human... they put sooo much into making that damn game. Blows my mind. In the end nothing will compare to playing KH3 on LSD.

I get this is very tongue-in-cheek, but damn, this video is not only HILARIOUS, it perfectly captures how every KH fan feels. There is no lie.

As a Kingdom Hearts fan, I couldn’t help but laugh and agree 😂 😅

Love this! I do consider myself a true fan, and this was the finest blend of objectively backhanded praise toward my favorite game series. I can only describe this narrative to be eloquently hilarious, and entertaining. Thank you!

I love your non review so much that I'm going to watch a video again

I won't read any reviews, but I will look at their scores, like any pure blooded gamer would.

I watch this video on occasion to feel what it was like before KH3 was actually released and I appreciate this review more each time as a work of art itself.

Best video I've seen all day and it's made me feel better about picking up kingdom hearts 3 tonight despite the fact that I played the first 2 only at there releases and none of the others. Bravo sir.

16:02 As satirical as this video is, this statement was actually a stroke of brilliance. This game is so polarizing and filled with so much radical, elite fanboyism that trying to give a critical review of this game is suicide for one's career. Its better not to give a serious review unless you are a smaller channel with a fanbase that will continue to support you no matter your opinions.

Making a review on a game and saying it un-reviewable makes the un-reviewable game reviewable.

This was such a great review. I think this is the same guy that made that Dragon Quest 11 video for kotoku. This guy is killing it.

2:23 boy I was gonna pause the video at the beginning and drag you for that one lmaoo. This was great btw coming from a huge KH fan

You understand some (potentially "most") of us fans so well lol

"It is absolutely impossible for the people who made Kingdom Hearts 2 to mess up Kingdom Hearts 3." This is what makes me sad. The team who made 2 is not the team who made 3, and this worries me because KH2 is the best game I have EVER played. No other game has reached such a perfect level of feels, gameplay, and difficulty in my opinion and I am objectively worried that KH3 won't reach the same level of gameplay and FUN difficulty. I KNOW it will win in the feels department, but man oh man I couldn't bring myself to do more than one playthrough of the other Osaka games. I have waited 13 years just as we all have, and I WILL enjoy the fuck out of KH3, but I will not let that blind me because I want this game to be PERFECT like KH2 is and I hope Osaka didn't fuck up THE thing I've been most excited for in my entire life.

well tim, as someone who read a bunch of your old reviews long ago and recently discovered you were doing these videos, i found your character development downright heartwarming. (not sarcastic, i know it's hard to tell)

Replace Hearts with Soul, or vessel of emotions, and memories, Darkness with negative thoughts like doubts, insecurities and rage, and Light with hope, happiness and believing in yourself and now the game is a metaphor about not getting down on yourself or don't do things alone, you have friends that will have your back and might surprise you with that light you desperately need to pull through the darkness. You are all stronger than you allow yourself to be, push past your limits and don't let darkness get in the way of what really matters Loving yourself, and being there for others when they fall into darkness. So reach out make friends help them out and they'll come running when you're in trouble.

You could also watch the procrastinators podcast on Kingdom Hearts.

Even if you don't read the reviews its inevitable that you will hear whether or not people are happy or unhappy with it before Tuesday. It will be everywhere.

Thank you for introducing me to Everglow's Kingdom Hearts Timelines.

omg, what a masterpiece! Thank you for all the laughs!! XD The script is wonderful and the delivery is priceless.

Will buy the game but my hype for it died ages ago. Though I'm sure when I start playing it I won't stop

did you just assume we wont call the cops on heretics that havent played 1 before 3? BLASPHEMER!

Bruh!!!! I was literally typing “No he’s 16 now” when you said “I said he was 15 to bait you”..... point made. 💀

15:56 😭😭😭 Best part of the video, Tim you are by far the best best reviewer I’ve experienced.

Whelp, Kotaku is slowly becoming respectable again. I am glad I clicked this link

*Tim Rogers said No!!* i will say this on every kingdom hearts 3 review

This is great. I wish more reviewers would admit that sometimes their reviews just aren't going to matter to certain fans. I wish more review sites would admit this not only for games like KH3 which fans are going to buy no matter what but also for competitive games like fighting games which reviewers generally don't even really know how to play.

This is the first video of your that I've ever seen...I don't think I've ever hit the SUBSCRIBE button so quickly XD

You were an assistant to a shoujo manga artist in 2001?

Take a shot for every time he says the words “kingdom hearts”

Dear Tim Rogers, This morning I saw this video and was entirely hesitant to watch it. Not because I don't like your videos (I do) and not because I dont like Kingdom Hearts (I do). But because exploring the idea of games being "unreviewable" through the lens of Kingdom Hearts 3 both intrigued and repelled me. I felt like watching the video would somehow paint my perception of Kingdom Hearts 3. I do not want my perception painted by anyone but me. It would be analogous to a baby's nursery: possible to be painted by someone else but it really shouldn't be. Nevertheless, I watched it on my way to work. I thought about it for the majority of the day. I pinched my finger because I was thinking about this video over what I was currently manipulating with my hands. For what I thought was a perception painting video turned out to be a video about how this game should remain free of paint (unless your perception is already painted by experience and you would like other accounts of experience). To sum it up I agree! Thanks for the brain food bud!

Tim Rogers is my new favorite game critic. i kinda wish he would make a review of KH3, so that i can avoid it like the plague until ive finished the game myself. i dont need him to tell me what my opinion should be, but itd be nice to see another perspective on something im quite sure im going to love.

What's that piano song in the background?

This video is a masterpiece.

Are you the best person in gaming journalism right now or what? Love you, man

I totally expected you to pronounce it KingDumb Hearts when you joked about the pronounciation. Then when it got to your apology I realized why you didn’t. Great job as usual Tim Rogers!!

Thank you for this video Kotaku. For me Kingdom Hearts is a game series that rarely disappointed and I appreciate each entry. I feel like you said everything that I feel about the series as a whole. Although I admit I love the ongoing continuity and the twists and turns the series takes. So despite some saying it's convoluted (it is in some regards) I love the unpredictability and how they combine and intertwine everything though out the years. I feel like since the first game it's been an ongoing journey that has had it's ups and downs with the games. I really like how you lay things out and I have to agree though I'm an avid Kingdom Hearts fan and know the series really well. I agree with you, you don't have to play the other games to get into this one. Kingdom Hearts takes you on a journey with it's protagonist Sora and an ensemble cast throughout various Disney worlds and new worlds. It's a fun experience and a game that I can't really compare others I've played. But that being said it's true the games are out of order almost like say Star Wars series is out of order there's an opening game but it doesn't even cover the ongoing plot yet it shapes the others in one way or another. I think it will still be enjoyable for first time players they just won't get the same appreciation as a fan of the arcing story. But if they jump into the other games later I think they'll come to understand things more. Still the first Kingdom Hearts drops you into a journey where you slowly start to discover the plot but it's only until another game that certain pieces of the puzzle are explained. So basically it's still a worth while experience for a first timer regardless. I don't need to watch a critic review from some one who either is basing their opinion on other works or without a true understanding of the games. Although to be honest I wouldn't mind a review from you in the future. I actually had fun watching your live stream play through of Kingdom Hearts 1. I think you respect the game but aren't afraid to point out some peculiarities it has which is fine by me. I can tell you also enjoy it even if not from a critical stand point which I respect. I really enjoyed this entire not-review you've done here though. It's an encouragement for fans, non fans, and potential fans about the enjoyment they can get from simply playing the game. On a side note sort of unrelated I watched your Dragon Quest XI review recently and finally gave the series a try. I think you write great reviews that provide a refreshing perspective on games in general. I can tell how much you love Dragon Quest is like how I feel about Kingdom Hearts. I'm playing Dragon Quest XI right now and loving every minute of it. I feel like I should have dived in way sooner but better late than never. I've been looking for another series I'd like to sink my teeth into and now I've been buying up DQ games left and right and playing them because of XI lol. So thank you for that as well. Gah sorry for the long comment you just inspired me to write that and give my thoughts and this got way too long. XD

Send this to Everyone Ever.

Good call, unexpected. I was already kind of planning on it solely because of how balls deep ill be in it to care what anyone has to say at that point so you nailed that one on the head. I was more just thinking I'm going to be watching its sales numbers for awhile after release. I'm expecting them to do very well, comparatively to the market in general atm, but I'm hoping for articles throwin numbers in titles over this game. I'm basing this on a double digit percentage of my life that has been spent replaying 1 & 2 combined with time spent raising an army of racing chocobos in FFXIV... Tetsuya I belive in yooooooouuuuuu!

I hear you loud and clear, Mr. Rogers. I'll start programming my own Kingdom Hearts game on a cheap guitar ASAP!

Give this man a raise

Bruh that man really said Sora was 15 during the events in KH3 😂

I've been waiting for the right words to explain my appreciation for this series. Just never thought they wouldn't come out of my own mouth.

Man, this is my first time watching a "review" video, especially for a video game( I just get what I want, screw other people's opinions ) but I have to say, you put the King in this video. This is gold, I love it. I literally laughed out loud on some parts. Anyway man, keep doing your thing!