As a cis guy having seen people wait for the stall, let me assure all trans men reading this that I (and probably most cis men) just think - if even - about why people standing in line for the stalls don't make it clearer that they need to poo and just kind of stand in the way. So, as long as you don't stand in the way, nobody thinks about your need for the stall in a bathroom
I'm a cis man and prefer stalls and I prefer to sit to pee. I don't imagine it's too uncommon. I certainly wouldn't expect anyone to judge me unless they were perhaps uncomfortable with their own masculinity. It seems standing to pee has become a form of cultural norm associated with masculinity when ultimately it's just an unnecessary risk of making a mess. Also, men benefit from using toilet roll from peeing also otherwise you can get a drip in you underwear. Shaking doesn't get rid of it all even though many cis men may insist this is the case.
cis guy here, lots of men are pee-shy and don't use urinals. I just spend my time in the queue not making eye contact, not thinking about why anyone is there
about changing names, i’m a cis girl but changed my name and getting used to others calling me my new name was easy but calling myself my new name in my head is what takes so long lmaoo
YES! This! Why is this? I feel more like my new name, but I still call myself my dead name when I dream or in my head when I'm not thinking about it. But it feels super weird when others call me by my dead name. What is up with this?
You haven't entered a stall I defiled after doing a hard spicy food challenge. NOTHING okay about that, that stall is left like a broken Geneva Convention.
As a cis man I do use toilet paper after peeing. With an intact foreskin some of it gets under it so it's useful to just absorb that and not have it be trapped there. Also my butt is sweaty so it's good to wipe even if there was no poo.
@@sternentigerkatze Urinals don't have toilet paper or anything else to wipe with and every men's bathroom I've been to in the US has at least one urinal.
@@sternentigerkatzeyep, and I don't get it. Like, even if there isn't a lot of pee left, there's still a couple drops that end up in their underwear. Like, why wouldn't they wipe!?!
The pee thing, yeah nobody pays attention, and alot of people prefer the stalls. Shit, I'm cis, and eventhough i do art modeling in the nud, I'm reeeealy pee shy... just easier to grab a stall. Also, toilet paper better than shaking.
I've had to pee in front of someone for a dr*'s test once, and wow, Idk how people do that regularly. I guess it's a bit different when you have different plumbing as a cis man, but still, no. I hated it. I drank extra water & refused to pee for the whole time leading up to it because I knew I was going to be pee shy and I still had trouble getting it started
The thing that hit home for me was the question "How often do you think about your gender?" When I was younger, I was able to just hide this part of me away and ignore it but as I've gotten older, I can't stop thinking about it. I hate that it totally consumes me. It has taken over my life. Cis people don't constantly think about their gender.
@@msjkrameyhmm I wouldn't say cis people never think about their gender, that is too much of a generalization. But the cis people that I talk to only think about their gender when then encounter (problems with) gender expectations/rules and power structures. So they won't be sitting in their room questioning what their gender is and internal questions, but rather their thoughts around gender more focus on external questions and relations/dynamics. I hope this helps! And again, it's a generalization so not every person has to fit in this outline I just wrote :)
Cis people think of their gender all the time, especially if they feel disadvantaged by it. Trans people think about being a _different_ gender. When I was a kid I often wished I could be a girl. Then I discovered the term "transgender" and realized that it's very much possible to be a girl if you want ✨
@@msjkramey- my experience as a cis woman, I often think about my gender in terms of whether I am feminine enough or fit the societal definition of pretty for women. My hormones are a mess and I’ll slowly end up with a beard, which makes me uncomfortable. I’m told it’s not related to PCOS, so I’m still trying to figure out the issue. Since beards are not stereotypically associated with femininity (something I am trying to unlearn), I often feel uncomfortable and not fitting of my gender. When it comes to wondering about being male, that only occurs if I’ve encountered a story about genderswapped characters or themes of that nature.
Watching Jammi helps me a lot and makes me feel less alone. Also he is very supportive and doesn't shun other trans men for exoeriencing and expressing their manhood differently 😊
5:52 as a trans person who just changed my name and is feeling this way, thank you thank you THANK YOU for addressing it. It makes me feel so seen that I'm not the only one who feels this way
I'm still closeted and I have picked out a name. It feels weird when my friends online refer to me as my name but also I feel seen and happy? I have to wait until I come out or meet my online friends irl to hear my name in person. I need to wait and see :)
I came out 3.5 years ago and getting accustomed to a new name and new pronouns takes time. I had people tell me in the early months that my slow response to my name or slipping up with my pronouns was a "sign" that subconsciously I wasn't really trans. Total BS! It's normal. The only thing that got my sister to shut up about it was when I pointed out to her that not only did she still have her previous husband's last name on much of her documents/ID, but she _still_ years later responded to Mrs. [old name]. Did that mean that subconsciously she still wanted to be married to him? Not a peep out of her since. Lol
@@CorwinFoundOH! I *love* this cis example of name/title change! Good catch on your sister! And hey I guess kudos to her at least for having the decency to acknowledge reality and change her behavior at least as far as shutting up about you in that way.
I was really terrified when I was the one person who deadnamed myself by accident as well. Thankfully it was only in my thoughts, if anyone heard it would be much more embarrassing.
I have come out at work as of last week and I am caught of guard that they actually use my chosen name now especially from customers. feels nice but it is really weird.
I am cis, but I never liked my name. My family moved around a lot when I was young, so I often thought about changing my name (unofficially), but I never did it because I realized I'd probably totally fail to respond to it. I'm also a gamer and know many friends initially by their gamer tags. It is every bit as hard for me to remember to use their real names once I learn them as it has been for me to remember to use someone's new name when they transition. Both require very deliberate and conscious thought for a very long time before it becomes natural. Brains are funny, stubborn things.
Jammie, I found the bit about B.O. and t-shirts amusing. I have the opposite situation ... I'm a cis guy on T-blockers for prostate cancer, and I went from being a predictably stinky guy, to being able to wear the same shirt for days before tossing it in the wash!
Oh god, they’re putting me on E-blockers after my endometriosis surgery, what have I done?? I kinda anticipate the opposite effect now… didn’t give it THAT much thought tbh. 😂
@@ArDeeMeewell, as a person who currently has T as my primary hormone, I can say that I don’t stink that much. I usually don’t, but I could go 4-5 days before I start stinking. Although it should be noted that I don’t do much activity that makes me sweat.
@@IsaacMyers1 That’s the problem, I already am a heavy sweater - super feminine trait ik. So, the menopausal symptoms are going to screw me over. But thank you, I appreciate it. =)
My husband uses Hibicleanse & swears that it makes his sweat have no smell because it kills all of the bacteria. He’s not a very sweaty guy. I sweat like a freight train so I don’t think that it works for me.
I’m a cis girl and I stink!! I have a lump in my right armpit and can’t use deodorant (till after my mammogram and ultrasound later this month), I never thought I stunk before but 1/2 hour after a shower I smell so bad, like 13 year old boy bad. 😫
If I hear another guy peeing in a stall and then toilet paper rustling, I assume he's cleaning up, which makes me feel appreciative. Sitting in someone's piss is no fun for any gender.
It's actually called Nebido, although I did once have an appointment where the nurse said "the receptionist put down that you're having a libido injection" which just made me think of Austin Powers. (Personally I don't find the injections particularly bad, but I do know several guys whose response is similar to Jamie's.)
@@sun1one1 Weekly isn't an option in the UK - it's Sustanon (standard dose is once every four weeks, can be self injected), Nebido (standard dose is once every 12 weeks, recommended to be injected by a nurse) or gel. Given how long since Jamie started medically transitioning, I assume he's now under the NHS - so cost isn't really a factor.
@@sun1one1 It's testosterone undecanoate - Aveed in the US (although the standard schedule is every 10 weeks because the volume per injection is less). Unfortunately it's one of the more expensive options.
I was talking to a cis male and he was telling me he likes wearing heels. Now I don’t understand why cause heels hurt but whatever he may do what he pleases
I genuinely liked wearing heels and NEVER had any pain from it... Until I gained weight... Since women naturally have more bodyfat (and most often quite some weight from boobs) i understand why it hurts more as a woman
I appreciate getting the update. Your videos really helped inform me of what to expect and helps supplement what the doctors told me. Yeah, nothing has surprised me as in I didn’t know it couldn’t happen, except one thing. The intensity of pelvic pain and atrophy. I wasn’t prepared for the intensity of my transition. Or that I would be passing within a year. My voice cracked week two and went from soprano to bass in 6 months, I have nearly a full beard at just shy of two years, bottom growth was nearly painful and continues to be at times. I wasn’t prepared for finding out my body needs lower amounts of T, but if I go too low I start having PMS symptoms so finding that line to walk is difficult. I am incredibly happy. I’m 5 months post top surgery, 18 months on T, and I have never been happier. I’m the other end of the spectrum outlier, and I appreciate you making all of this so clear in your videos, it made the experience less frightening. I’m eternally grateful.
Yeah, all these ftm experience pieces I‘ve read/watched over that past years really put into perspective why teenage boys are the way they are. 🫣 Glad to hear you’re happy. Good luck!
@@ArDeeMee I will admit, I understand the middle school and teenage boys a lot better. Doesn’t give them a pass, but I understand them better. I feel like a teenager all over again in so many ways, down to how to switch up my deodorant and grooming because the hormone changes were no joke. I am stinky in ways that have nothing to do with me not showing properly every day. I just smell different, and deodorant had to change, how often I reapply in a day, I have to shower more often, etc.
@@Brosak. read the whole comment. The stuff I complained about concerning teenage boys, such as the change in smell. Handling the changes and intensity of BO has been a challenge.
In Germany, men are actually encouraged to sit and use toilet paper (at least in maintained bathrooms). I'm still flabbergasted that it's not common courtesy in the world 😅 In my opinion, there's nothing manly about being unhygienic 🤷🏼♂️
Sorry, I'm 185cm and riddled with arthritis. I have enough pain in my daily life as it is. Nope.... Toilet seat stays up and I stand. I've been to Germany twice and I think the toilets there are a good bit taller than American ones.
Of course, everyone has to decide for themselves whether to stand or sit, but my argument was that it is strange that sitting is considered unmanly and that trans people therefore have to overcome a mental hurdle when they sit down. Edit: Or, to put it more generally, that certain hygiene measures (sitting on the toilet, using toilet paper) and environmental awareness (recycling) are considered unmanly and I don't understand these arguments at all 😁
This came in such a good time! I finally got my first T shot yesterday (it's been almost a day, I would say maybe 21 hours or so) and this helps me a lot, It's comforting to know there's elder trans people supporting young trans ppl in their journey. I'm 20 and been on the waiting line for about a year and a half, it seemed so far and I thought I was gonna get it later so I was pleasantly surprised when my doctor gave me the prescription (one thing I knew would happen is that you get more hungry but I was not prepared to get so hungry every hour or so!) I just wanted to say it somewhere, I'm really happy and smiling randomly at times when I remember :) now I'm gonna watch this a few more times~
Because you should have proper bathrooms like at home, no useless stalls were everyone can hear you farth. Proper bathrooms with thick walls, a door that goes all the way from the roof to the floor and most of all: a faucet to wash your hand inside!!! Have you ever thought about the amount of fecal bacteria on toilets stalls door knobs? actually this topic triggers me, so I hope you don't mind me blowing up here.
@@rebny7801 Yeah… after washing hands, use a piece of paper to open the door while leaving. The amount of people who don’t wash their hands is horrifying! Or use only water! 💦 LIKE MY KIDS OML! I have to watch over them like a harpy… =/
I mean. It doesn't help that in many places in the US. Conservatives are trying to make it a felony for trans men to use the men's bathroom, or trans women to use the women's bathroom. Where I live. None of the bathroom bills have passed YET. But a new bill is written just as soon as one fails. They have also figured out how to get other transphobic bills passed by sneaking them into other bills. So in order to spare myself from any possible jail time in case I don't catch if a bill has passed. I use the woman's bathroom. I feel more confident in defending myself against a single person that wants to be stupid. Than I would defending myself against a judge.
My theory? I think there are several reasons but biologically it is probably due to the feeling of being more vulnerable and not being able to best protect ourselves in this position. Of course this is a subconscious thing and with that subconscious anxiety comes being more aware of our surroundings and consistently being more observant of bacteria or noises and stuff that makes us 'poop/pee shy'
Because they make the stalls as reveling a possible 😭. The gap between the stalls is so big in some bathrooms I accidentally look at the people in the stall just checking to make sure their open. One bathroom people could practically see through the door… I decided i didn’t need to go to the bathroom after i saw those stalls. (I’m in america btw and it’s better in most places in Europe)
Thank you for talking about new names! I'm gender-queer and talked to my partner about preferring my (awesome) last name to my (very feminine, religious) first name. He immediately switched and it's amazing. And it's easy to respond to, because I went by it in college. In my own head is where I've found it much harder to swap, since I've spent 36 years using my first name in my internal monologue.
6:41 YES!!!! I am so sick and tired of people thinking that just because I’m a trans guy, that means I can’t like cute things, dress in a feminine way, etc. I am a man. No matter how I dress or what I like. I mean I don’t often wear feminine clothing, I actually dress like a grandpa- but I still adore cute things! Short story time, many years ago in school, for the last day I wore a dress. That school year is when I came out as trans. The amount of LOOKS I got for wearing a dress, plus one boy even went up to me and said “are you a boy?” and when I said yeah, they gave me a look and argued with me?! I feel like with cis men that like cute things is getting more accepted, but when a trans guy likes cute things the whole world ends. I am so happy that you brought this topic up! Everyone’s who’s reading this, REMEMBER you are valid, no matter how you dress or what you like. You are an amazing person, don’t listen to the bigoted a-holes. ❤❤❤
This is going to be very overly sincere but I just want to say thank you for your honesty and openness in all your videos. I've been watching you for years and at the beginning I figured it was mostly your infectious positivity and your personality that kept bringing me back, even though I couldn't personally relate to your experiences. I was just so happy to see your progress and I didn't really understand why I felt jealous of it at the same time. Turns out the (incredibly obvious) answer is that I'm also transmasc, it just took me a hell of a long time to figure it out and accept it. I've finally started transitioning over the past year and the whole process feels so much less overwhelming having seen an example of what it can look like in real time. The things you put out into the world have such a positive impact and I really hope you know how much you help people just by being so unapologetically yourself.
About feeling comfortable being shirtless in public: You have to just do it. I know it's harsh, but if you want to get comfortable, the biggest barrier is starting. Take a shirt with you to the beach so you can take breaks. But if you don't start it'll never get easier.
I'd also add that many cis men don't feel comfy shirtless. So a question to ask yourself is also, "Would I have been comfortable without a shirt in this situation if I'd been raised male?" This was big for me. I was fine at pools but like at a beach or public outdoors, I never felt comfy. Then realized that as a cis guy I would have likely felt that way also. My cis brother is like this too. And my dad was. I come by it naturally.
@@CorwinFound Definitely true. Sometimes it's less about potentially showing signs of your transition (even if that's what you're focusing mentally focusing on) and more about general anxiety that you have about exposing yourself publicly in any way, so it can help to reframe how you think about it.
I'm a cis-female who started following you in 2019 I think just because I thought if I ever meet a trans man I don't accidentally want to misgender him and learn about it in general... Half a year later my cousin told me that his partner now officially is a man and they also got married. The suprise for me was the married part, not that (deadname) now lives also outwardly as male. Thanks for all the education you do here Jammie!!! Also reading here how many ftm men you help here with this kind of video, again thanks !!!
About getting used to a name: Playing D&D can help you get used to responding to a different name. I hear it's also good for trying out gender in a low-risk environment. I highly recommend it. About people listening to you pee: I'm a cis guy and I don't pay the slightest attention to the sounds of peeing or if you use TP. I do have a shy bladder, so I understand about waiting for a stall on occasion.
I (trans masc) recently had to use the mens bathroom in a bigger shopping center and ofc there was only one stall, cause the second one was used as a storage room (yeah wtf), so I had to queue for the stall and was really self conscious about it, but I felt immediately better when I left and there were even more guys queueing there, even if most of the urinals were free also one cis guy, who actually made me usese the mens for the first time, made an effort to say something like "do I use the urinals or am I lazy and just sit to pee today" extra loud to make me feel better and less anxious about using a stall (we were the only ones in the bathroom, but it still helped)
For anyone wondering, the cost of a gender recognition certificate (GFC) has been cut from £140 to £5 recently! which makes the main issue now primarily how invasive the process feels for people applying
I find it wild that I, a brit/aussie living in Australia, have an easier time getting a GRC than a UK resident, since all I had to do was change my gender with the ACT govt (one of the easier ones), then tell the UK govt that Australia recognised me as female, so they should too
@@Elizabeth2445AThey've changed the process recently so, if you live in a country who allow you to self identify/go through a less invasive process to get a GRC then the UK government won't recognise it. I don't know what state you're in but GRCs from some Australian states are no longer recognise by the UK government so its now harder for people abroad as well. I'm originally from Ireland and previously if I obtained an Irish GRC I could get a British one similarly to how you got yours but they don't recognise Irish ones anymore
Facial hair are not only T related: Cis female here with bra size D. Weekly I remove a lot of black facial hairs on my chin, in and under my nose and a few over my eyebrows. I guess each and everybody has his own biology.
Cis woman here and I have told so many people to watch you when they wonder about transgender. You and Shabba are amazing and I’m so grateful for you two sharing your life together.💕💕💕💕💫
I'm an ally, and have no one close to me who's part of the LGBTQIA community. I follow you for the great information you share, which is always done with LOVE, KINDNESS, and FACTS! This video was amazingly thoughtful and very informative! Thank you so much, Jamie, you're an inspiration❣️ ❤❤❤
Im a year into my medical transition (taking t anyway, no surgeries yet) - My voice it deep and reads male, im hairier, bulkier, etc. Always get read as male (despite being a short 5'4" and like to keep my hair long.) Unttiillll i turn around and the person sees my huge boobs. And i hate binding, especially considering it doesnt do anything but give me a barrel chest 🙃 It is THE most annoying thing so far and i guarantee if/when i get top surgery, i will never get misgendered again Also about the name thing; Ive been going by my preferred name for over 5 years now and its still weird to hear sometimes , but it makes me gitty every time i remember again haha
I also wasn't happy with how my chest (G or H I think) looked with a binder, but I found a sports bra + a t-shirt with a print on it worked pretty well in terms of not being misgendered particularly frequently pre top surgery. (Although I understand that's not an option in every situation.)
@@kaspianepps7946 I wear sports bras currently to alleviate it - and weirdly a solid black bodyfit shirt or button up works. Its not as obvious from the front but the second someone sees me from the side , all they see is tiddy. I cry
One of the hardest things for me was the fact that I was able to pass before puberty, but ever since I've gone through puberty it's practically been impossible to pass since I have a pretty feminine frame and even on phone calls my voice doesn't pass after six months on T. I'm really working on loving myself, top surgery a few months ago definitely helped, but I'm just really hoping that after a few years on T I'll be able to pass again. My parents always say I'm overreacting when I describe how painful it is for trans people to grow through the wrong puberty but you're videos help a lot in looking forward towards my future transition :) So thank you.
if anyone tells you you're overreacting for suffering while going through the wrong pubety. They are objectively wrong lol. You are valid in your struggles. Also, if you are still worried about your voice, you can try voice training. There's quite a few videos to guide through it if thats something you want to do.
Same, I recently found pictures of me from before puberty. That made me cry in frustration, I actually look right and I was read as androgynous or men. I was looking at old pictures and you can tell when puberty hit clearly and how uncomfortable it is. And now I get to watch my younger brother go through puberty…
I had my top surgery last month (went without a hitch!) and what I can add is that you gotta tell the surgeon if you wanna keep your nipples and if you want them the same size/shape, you won't find out until the following months or even years if feeling in them will come back (more often than not they'll still have less than before), you won't be able to lift weights or raise your arms above T-pose for the next week or two at least, but posture and reaching up again after that will be important for making sure the scarring won't scrunch, the bandages you gotta keep on for the next week will itch like hell (antihistamines help), and when they're taken off your nipples will look like pepperonis for 3-4 weeks. They'd just been through a lot, they'll be fine, they're just gonna be vulnerable for a while. My roomie and her mom got me a post-op care package too, and I recommend stocking up on the same for yourself- that's chest+neck pillows, a sleep mask, dry shampoo and shower wipes. Also make sure you have a stepping stool, in case you're unable to move everything down that you'd normally reach up for.
Thank you for so openly sharing your story. I'm a cis woman, and I love hearing about people's lived experiences that are so very different from my own (I read a lot of memoirs and autobiographies!). I also hope that gaining more knowledge helps me to be a better ally to the trans community as a whole and to better support the trans people I know personally. I hope. 🤞🏻 Again, I appreciate your openess and vulnerability, Jamie. 💜💜💜
Yes, it was useful. I got your book and read it cover to cover as well. It's nice to hear an occasional update on how your transition went, and I think you keep gaining perspective on it over time even if your body and feelings are not changing.
Thank you for sharing your perspective! I appreciate learning about this aspect of humanity and being able to be more empathetic to the people living through it.
I am a cis ally to trans people and I just finished listening to the audiobook version of "The T in LGBT." I highly recommend it. I like that when Jamie didn't have first-hand experience, he got other trans and non-binary people to share their experiences. I also appreciated Shaaba's perspective as an ally.
Hey thanks for this. I'm always weirdly curious about bottom surgery but i would never ask those questions in real life, so i appreciate you sharing with your audience. I admire how open and vulnerable you are on RU-vid. It takes a lot of courage, but you make it look easy. ❤️
ive been having a rough time recently with my mental health, one of the worst in years, and watching your videos makes me feel comfortable and better. thank you, jamie
Oh god, first bras… Not everyone likes firm cups or cups with the wires. There are all kinds of different types. Make sure you’re comfortable. If they hurt, they are either the wrong size or type. Bralettes/t-shirt fabric bras are the best for me, personally. The trick in putting on a bra without contorting yourself is to put it on the wrong way but only close the hooks, then turn it around and pull the shoulder pads up. It’s so much easier, and fidgeting around until everything sits the way it’s supposed to is part of wearing bras anyways. Or just use bras with the hooks on the front. So yeah, welcome to the club. =)
Wait! I’ve been following that many years? I had no idea. I’ve been here since your binder discussions and top surgery. I think we’ve both come a long way together. You have helped me learn and be supportive. Thank you. ❤
11:02 About the toilet paper, some cis guys use a little folded bit of it after peeing, just to pat dry any moisture that shaking off alone doesn’t get rid off. It keeps you fresher down there too before building up any scents that naturally occur in the area where genitals and urine are involved. All that to say no need to feel weird as a man to use toilet paper after peeing, and if someone else questions it, it just means they have waaay too much free time on their hands.
I really needed this video im about 5 months on T, menses have yet to cease and im just getting to the point of having as much body hair as a cis woman cause before I was abnormally hairless. The affirmation that time will heal these issues is really great.
I really feel the abnormally hairless thing, just started t a few weeks ago and sloooowly there’s ANY visible hair on my forearms and upper lip😅 looking at my brother I’m not having much hope for a beard, but I don’t mind either way
Just keep in mind that although time changes many things, not all. Depending on your age and genetics, results will vary. Jamie is atypical. Between height, build, age going on T and genetic factors, he kinda hit the transition jackpot. I've been on T a few years and will likely never pass due to age (45 starting HRT), build, and genetics. I'm not saying there's no hope. Jamie and I are on two ends of a spectrum. Your own T mileage will vary. I bring this up not to bring anyone down but to portray the reality. Social media is filled with people who are beyond typical looks wise. This applies to cis and trans people. Young, good looking, and typically passing is very common in the influencer trans community and doesn't really express the beautiful diversity in the real life trans community.
Currently watching this at 3 am. Your videos help me fall asleep (you're not boring, just calm) and when I have trouble falling asleep, I always go to your videos
My voice is taking its sweet time deepening. The weight distribution has come and made me look even more masc and after a year, people finally stopped misgendering me unless they know my deadname.
I looked up something on youtube that made me feel icky as can be, I'm glad this video came up on my feed I need the positivity that is Jammi. Your positivity is refreshing.
Jamie, I really appreciate your openness and honesty. You have helped me understand other people better. It is too easy to view other lives as simple while enlarging one’s own difficulties.
Jamie, I really appreciate you being willing to talk so openly about something so deeply personal and private. Don't feel pressure to answer this one but I do have a question; Can you speak to the reasons to keep a uterus when transitioning ftm? I had always assumed that the uterus would go and I know that's an option, but not one everyone takes. You don't have to speak about your specific reasons if you don't want, but maybe just a generalized idea of why some would choose to keep the uterus after transitioning to male.
Not everyone feels dysphoria related to their reproductive organs, in which case it's just unnecessary surgery (the current research indicates that there is no increased risk of ovarian, uterine or cervical cancer in AFAB people on testosterone).
Keep in mind that internal organs that you don't see ever are pretty hard to feel dysphoria over. As an example I've never heard a trans woman express dysphoria about having a prostate. When trans masc people get hysterectomies it's usually for either health reasons, due to menstrual dysphoria or as part of other bottom surgery. I've recently started back on testosterone after a year off and suddenly I'm considering a hysterectomy due to pelvic pain. In a nutshell I'm getting what feels like menstrual cramps even while not on my period and on my period pushing debilitating levels of pain. This may wane, I'm hoping so. But if it doesn't, a hysterectomy is on the table. No hate against my uterus but near daily pain... see ya girlie! For other trans guys, if their period doesn't stop, hysterectomy is a good option. And for some, when getting bottom surgery it happens. (But not all.) I've never heard of a trans masc person having a hysterectomy for what would amount to uterine dysphoria. Not saying it's impossible but usually it's to solve other issues.
@@CorwinFound I dunno, the pregnancy option/capability is enough for some to feel crippling dysphoria over. I know a few people who felt far happier with no uterus anymore.
I'm currently 17 and just recently started being open about being trans your videos help me feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of being out (only socially and with my friends) so thank u for sharing your story I've been feeling a lot more at peace knowing you were my age when u started your transition thank u and love u Jamie ❤❤
Unexpected changes/changes that happened that you never heard of before you were on T: Knee hair. I was looking forward to the extra hair growing! And the thicker hair, in general, but seeing strands of hair growing on my knees weirds me out. I wonder if there's any on my elbows but I can't really check lol
Thank you for this video, it was very very helpful 🙏 I'm a transmasculine enby and I'm planing top surgery for this summer. I'm currently completely in the "will-i-regret-the-result-and-hate-the-scars" kind of loop and focusing on how much my body will change throughout the years just makes it a little more confortable 🌞
Not sure how this came into my feed but truly enjoyed learning! I truly doubt that anyone questions your bathroom habits. I think everyone thinks what their doing is awkward and lot of the time. Thanks!
I am AFAB agender. I shift from untraditionally masculine, to untraditionally feminine outfits/ clothing whenever I feel like. I just went to France for a school trip. I was wearing a masc outfit but with a cross body bag with butterflies and flowers on it. We had stopped somewhere for a bathroom break. The line for the women’s restroom was extremely long, but the men’s was non existent. I really had to take a shit. My trans guy friend and I went into the men’s restroom. When we got out of the restroom, my friend washed his hands and left unquestioned while a small boy looked at me as his father began to complain about me in French. I washed my hands and walked out of the restrooms after them. The French father began to point at me and complain about me to his wife. All I understood was “is it a boy?” But then we went our separate ways. It is difficult being agender/ gender non conforming. I get stared down no matter what restroom I use. Even if it’s a non gendered restroom. I just want to take a shit in peace. I think that should be something everyone can agree on.
I just want to acknowledge how kind you are regarding choices that others would make that differ from yours. That's A+ peopling right there! This was very informative. Thank you! My firstborn (26) is a transmasc, non-binary bean. They have told me things, but I won't ask intrusive questions. So videos like this help me understand more than I would otherwise. 🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧🟦
Love the insights. Kinda want to clip the GRC bits as so many people seem to think it's way easier than it is. On the tattoo question, also worth noting that densely inked skin is going to be harder to monitor for healing & any signs of tissue devitalisation (death). So although it's a vibe, it might make your post op care trickier
Thank you so much for this! I am an ally to ALL of the LGBTQ+ Community, and I always love to learn new things and be educated to avoid ignorance, but at the same time I never want to invade the privacy of anyone for my own benefit as it's really none of my business on an individules level. So I really appreciate it when someone is comfortable to tell their story. Every story is different so the more stories I hear the more I can understand what different things mean to individuals. I know it's not any LGBTQ+ persons job to educate me, so I want to say a big thanks to people who go out of their way to do so. Much love Jamie.
Hearing you say that you rarely think about your gender now was so much more impactful on me than I would have thought it'd be. It sounds so refreshing to not be thinking about your gender or gender presentation constantly every day
I'm honestly really glad you mentioned needing to get used to your new name, I recently changed my name and have been starting to tell friends about it, and I've been feeling really weird about not being used to calling myself by my new name or feeling strange when friends refer to me or I see the name on online accounts. It's great to hear that it's normal to need time to get used to it, I had an unrealistic expectation for the name to immediately just "feel right" to use immediately since it is the only name I thought of that feels like it fits me after several months of searching, and had started to wonder if my attempts to transition were entirely misplaced, but after hearing this it's much clearer that I just need some patience, both in getting used to my name and searching for the rest of my identity. I know I've now commented twice before getting more than 6 minutes into this video at this point, but either way, thank you for this video Jamie, it is already helping me tremendously today.
Re: getting used to names/pronouns I misgender myself all the time. I'm afab non-binary. For over 35 years I was refered to by gendered words. Its not always easy to re-programme the brain, even when you want to.
Jaimie, i realise you may never read this or this may not mean much to you, but your videos have helped me immensely throughout the years with always giving me something to hope about in this world we live in. Whether its looking memes or breaking down transphobia, you always bring some light to my life when the world looks so dark. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate people like you, who help others and spread joy and it kinda makes me wanna cry 😭 Thank you for being so awesome 👍
Jamie, thank you for being such a positive, loving, and supportive personality!! I know I don’t actually know you but your videos always bring me comfort and entertainment :)
Context I'm a Trans woman: Honestly I thought I was weird for thinking people would be able to tell the difference in how me peeing sounded opposed to everyone else in the bathroom. Glad I'm not the only one that thought it would sound different.
5:54 I did have some time when I thought “maybe I’m wrong about being a girl” because I kept referring to myself by my dead name and old pronouns. I knew it was an irrational thought but it’s nice that you validated my experience today
this has been quite informative and helpful in making me feel more comfortable about the idea of transitioning. I've been a closet trans ftm for over a decade and only recently have I started going by male pronouns and wanting to start T. I'm still in the closet when it comes to my relatives, but online and at work, I'm comfortable with my identity.
My goodness you’ve been through a lot of pain!! Not saying it wasn’t worth it or that you shouldn’t have done it, all trans people should have access to the care they need. But still I’m sorry you had to go through all that and you are so strong and brave for doing it!
Very useful vid! It's interesting what you said about the GRC. In the USA the process to change your gender varies by state. Some need doctor's notes, or a court hearing, or both, in addition to paperwork. In Oregon I was able to change my kid's name & gender legally with a one page form and about $50, for that we got a new birth certificate and a note approving the change that we then used to change records elsewhere. I wish it was that easy everywhere!
You’re a legend and I am so sure you’ve helped many many people. Been following you for years here. Gay cis man here but got trans 🏳️⚧️ m to f family. You’re a straight up shooter and answer all the questions. Thanks 🙏.
I'm 23+ years on T, 20 years post top surgery. I live in the US, so bottom surgery costs too much for me. It's sad. Anyway, you spoke of still having "monthlies" for almost a year. My body had such an adverse effect to T that I bled every day for 438 straight days after I started hormone replacement. It was terrible. Even all these years later, I still occasionally get breakthrough bleeding. I can grow a full thick beard in about 7-9 days, but I still have that problem roughly once a year. But until my insurance agrees to let me get a hysto, I'm stuck with this issue. Everyone is different but I'll tell you, I would never wish the 438 day long menstrual period on anybody (except maybe my ex-wife 😂).
Just for information to others regarding chest scars, I'm an older cis woman who has had breast surgery and my scar pretty much disappeared after a couple of years.
I'm just in the process of updating people on my name change. It's taking some getting used to and holy shit I'm so glad to know I'm not alone in that!
A good friend is a trans woman. Here in the states, she was advised to have all of her legal documents match her gender. She was able to get it done with some effort.
The pee stream is not about how high up the pee hits the water sound, it's the sound of how strong the stream is. The difference between peeing through a straw and pouring down from a glass is different both sound and how long it takes. For authentic pee stream sound, do not power pee and get out, take ur time and pee slowly. Thank you all and have a good pee. (Seriously do not think too much about it, just pee what ever way relieves you.)
One thing I did not expect when I went on T was for my feet to grow one size and for me to grow about an inch in height. I'd heard it happens to people who start T in their teens but I started T at 21, so I wasn't expecting any growth. It was a pleasant surprise though
Hell I'm AMAB too and spent my life being called ma'am on the phone. I stopped bothering to correct people years ago. I should have gone for voice training
@@barrylangille3523 Voices are complicated. I think our society takes a bit too much stock in voice as a sign of gender, but I can understand why. Still, I've dated a couple cis-women with naturally deeper voices as a cis guy. One was incredibly self-conscious about it, especially if she was misgendered over the phone or something, the other was indifferent, but I found their voices both beautiful and uniquely them
