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@HeisenbergTheOGI can't believe the bots are actually this early, but I mean I don't think a computer is capable of being hours late to something it's likely supposed to consistently look for, so...
@HeisenbergTheOGWe're no strangers to love You know the rules, and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see it Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and Desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna _say_ goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and Hurt you (that's what you get for being a bot)
I don't think men realise how upsetting it is to suddenly lose a friend of five years because it turns out that the whole time they were secretly hoping to hook up with you. It makes it harder to trust your friendships and it's a really rubbish thing to do to someone.
I talked about this is another comment. Just how emotionally crushing it can be, once the anger fades, bc it's so painful to be quickly tossed aside and the friendship binned. It's also such a dehumanizing experience. Big (non creepy) hugs to all who have lost a friend like this.
yeah, people always focus on the other end, the person who has th feelings and whines about being rejected, but it's really devastating to lose a dear friend just because you weren't attracted to them
@@someonewhocantmakeuptheirm2671 Especially since most of the time guys have this reaction, its not a "we were friends but i caught feels" scenario but a "I pretended to be you friend because I thought I could manipulate you into a relationship" one.
Had a best friend for 7 years who felt the friendship entitled him to sex. Years later found out he told people “we just drifted apart” after graduation. I told his former friend the truth because his behavior was disgusting and disrespectful. He was never actually a friend.
I used to consider myself a "nice guy" just because I was genuinely kind, respectful and empathetic towards others, but I stopped because of these ""nice" guys" lol (and now I can't anymore anyways :3)
@@ShinyTillDawn Holy crap, I was thinking the same thing. If one really is a nice guy, gal, or enby pal, they won’t need to say it when their actions speak louder than words.
@@KateWick1997 For different aromantic people it is different. Some aromantic people feel absolutely zero romantic attraction, some on a very very very rare occasion may feel a small amount of romantic attraction towards certain people, and others might feel some romantic attraction after really getting to know someone personally.
I always laugh when someone’s like “everyone calls me racist just bc I’m white” or “everybody calls me sexust bc I’m a man” meanwhile Jamie is a white man and literally no one calls him racist or sexist….mayyyybee the guy in the reddit post said something racist and sexist
I can’t remember where I saw it, but a quote I saw on Reddit perfectly sums up how I felt reading these: “My legs closed so hard I’m now officially a mermaid” 🧜🏻♀️
"I am attractive"--ironically, I like scrawny guys, so him saying "I am attractive" probably means I'd find him ugly. Nobody is universally attractive. I think Brad Pitt is fairly ugly even though all my friends have drooled over him. Just not my thing (and I even PREFER beardless pretty boys in the first place.)
These guys will literally insist on paying at a nice restaurant and then call the girl a gold digger when she doesn't sleep with him after. They use it as both a bargaining chip to buy sex and as an out for taking responsibility for their behavior. Guys like that seem convinced that a relationship is just prostitution with extra steps. That it's just "spend enough money and sex comes out" and if you tell them that's not how it works, they go on an Andrew Tate rant and say you're lying.
@@kaylawoodbury2308 yeah you're just lying and using them for a free meal. I've come across a few guys like this so if a guy agressivly insists or seems super bothered by my offer to pay for my own stuff, I call it off. Like they can pay or want to pay but if I'm like "Nah, all good. I got my way," and they get upset, like angry or pouty for real, I just check out. Like ask the waitress of there is a separate table I can move to for myself. I'm hungry and want to eat but I've decided it would be best to eat alone. (And I love a nice quiet meal out by myself, so it's no embarrassment to me.)
They see all sexual relationships as transactional. If they don’t have money and can’t get sex they get mad at the purely transactional system they’ve invented in their own heads and blame women for it. And if they do have money and don’t get sex they get mad at women for not conforming to their imaginary system.
@@kaylawoodbury2308also do not forget, that they ALSO complain, when a woman insists on paying her own meal, because then she does not appreciate his manliness....
The ship dynamic of "friends-to-lovers" is my jam (including its variant "enemies to friends to lovers"), but that doesn't mean EVERY pairing has to turn romantic after some magic time limit. If you want to be romantic with someone, just COMMUNICATE your intentions early on, unless feelings change later, but if they do change, be honest and direct. Acting friendly with some secret intentions? That's some predator shit.
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who sees that this type of manipulative behavior is predatory. It's both cringe reading the "nice guy" messages and fr scary.
Many years ago my husband was in a band with a guy who considered himself “a nice guy”. One evening he was complaining about women. He then said “I HATE shallow chicks” (yes, he called women “chicks” which is a pretty good indication of his mentality). He continued….”I hate shallow chicks AND fat chicks!” We all just stared at him dumbfounded. 🤦🏻♀️
I mean chicks do tend to be shallow. Their brains aren’t very big. They usually tend to think only of themselves, and they’ll fight other chicks just to get what they want. The only time they care about others is when they are nursing their babies. They are especially mean around food. I’ve seen some chicks fight over watermelon and try to peck each others eyes out. I mean chickens really are just vicious little birds sometimes! …Oh wait, were you talking about women?
Imagine if romantic options in video games had a chance to reject you based on your actions or personality. Might be a good medium to teach some lessons 😅
yeah, the thing about those is that the game gives you options and you can either succeed or fail. irl no one handing you anyone and humans are far more complex than correct/incorrect superficial speech bubble. but somehow I feel like they still wouldnt manage to finish those games without looking up a guide.
When my little sister and I were teens, we'd often just go driving around at like 3am on a Saturday or something. We'd sometimes go to stores, and the amount of times that GROWN MEN would approach her and not back down when she said she was 16 was absurd. She's always put value in being as put together as she can be, so she's gotten a lot of unwanted attention from creeps over the years. And no one would respect when I'd step in and tell them to fuck off, so I often had to threaten to inflict pain upon these weirdos. At some point, a guy asked if we were lesbos, my sister said yeah (thinking that'd get him to go away) and this guy proceeds to tell a 16 year old how he could "fix" her. I threatened to castrate him in that Walmart if he didn't walk away right then. Almost all of these men made comments about how they're nice, a catch, and/or know how to treat a woman right any time I'd yell at them. Any guy who says he's nice is not, in fact, nice. That's the kind of person you need to get tf away from.
No Genuenly ARE YOU OKAY SHOULD I CALL THE AUTHORITIES THATS FKN SEXUAL HARRASMENT I CANT BELIEVE NO ONE HELPED YOU BOTH OUT OF THIS SITUATION ARE YOU OKAY SHOULD I CALL A THERAPIST????
All the "friendzone" things make me so depressed. I'm demisexual, so I'm only capable of developing any kinds of feelings after developing a strong bond with somebody, which takes years. That's not to say I automatically fall in love with my friends after 2 years, but I literally cannot develop any feelings of attraction before that point. This stupid friendzone mentality is the reason I've only ever had the opportunity to develop attraction to guys I met in middle school, because that's how freaking far back I have to go to have had guy friends who didn't expect anything adult and get bent out of shape about it when that's not the case :(
Demi/grayromantic here (I’ve only felt romantic feelings towards a single person, so I like to joke that the sample size is too small to build a proper hypothesis lol) and I just wanted to send some positive vibes your way and say not everyone has that mentality. The “nice guy” folks tend to be an unfortunately vocal minority, but a fair number of people are really more open to having mutually platonic relationships, without a default expectation that it must escalate into a romantic one within x time frame. I’ve managed to find friends like that, a few that have even expressed attraction, but were very understanding when I explained my perspective. Hang in there :)
Demi here as well, nothing hurts me more then people hearing demi (or for those who I am not actually close to ace) and just thinking they can have an exception.. do they not understand how sexualities work!?
Hey, demi guy here. One of the most confusing things for me growing up was hearing other guys talk about the "friendzone" because I literally couldn't conceive of being attracted to someone I wasn't already friends with, so to me that was just status quo.
The "friendzone" is where they should WANT to be. Building up a trusting relationship first before trying to be each other's everything is the BEST way to end up together. Sincerely, someone who married her best friend.
Imagine leaving a review for a business admonishing them that their employees should be more focused on socializing with random people loitering on the premises without buying anything rather than performing their assigned tasks and assisting paying customers.
When I came out in college I got the "but youre so feminine" stuff SO OFTEN that I ended up doing panels for my human sexuality class. She'd have people of all different sexualities up there & people had to guess who was who. I ALWAYS brought a dress & heels to school with me to really play up the feminine. I was determined to break stereotypes & had a couple younger women tell me that I helped them start to figure out their sexuality because they also thought lesbians had to be "masculine" 😮 its wild to me that almost 20 years later & people still think the same thing!
Thank you very much for stepping up to the incredibly difficult task of working against homophobic AND sexistic misconceptions. A lot has changed, but unfortuately, ppl are also equipped with VERY protective brains, who'll fight for dear life over mainaining the integrity of whatever assumptions ppl have. Cause giving up that safety could totally wreck their pyche. A lot of people are relatively frail AND overwhelmed and it's the only way their brains knows to keep them safe. That said, media is frequently still not helping. It's gonna get better when it starts to get normalized to have all sorts of ppl in shows, without ridingold tropes to the death :'D Like the "lesbians gotta be masculine" one. Give it a bit more time. Most young ppl now are SOOOOO much better at this. But these habits take a bunch of generations to really get re-learned!
Same energy as "you should make yourself look more masculine so gay guys don't feel drawn to you, because if there's one thing gay men aren't into, it is... manlyness?" ( incorrectly quoted from an osp video)
About why "take [the woman] out on a date" feels more uncomfortable than phrasing it as "go out on a date", it's because "take" as a verb gives all the power to the subject (i.e. the person speaking) and makes the object (in this case the woman, grammatically speaking) completely powerless. When you ask someone if they want to go on a date with you, you're giving them the opportunity to refuse; if you're taking someone anywhere, it gives the impression that you're in complete control and it's implicitly removing any sense of agency from the woman in question. Also..."I am an anomaly".
I agree, but would also add a physical level to this on top of the language subjective/objective point. To be "taken on a date" implies the traditional way of dating, where the guy picks the girl up in his car and drives them somewhere, as opposed to meeting them in a public place like a cafe or the cinema. While most men probably don't mean to kidnap or force women into anything once they get them into their cars, it just doesn't come out as romantic anymore. Many of us women would much rather meet the guy somewhere safe first, and have means to make our own way home if things don't work out. And never have to even tell the guy our address until we know them a bit better.
@@tomlxyz That is probably what the guy meant by it but it still goes back to what I and @durabelle were saying. The words he actually used to say what he meant (rather than phrasing it as "I'd pay, if you like" which would still allow the woman an opportunity to refuse or offer to pay an equal share) gives the person saying it all the power within the relationship and when it comes to 'Nice Guys', him paying for the date also more often than not would lead to him thinking he's then automatically entitled to anything he wants just because he was "nice" and paid for the date...without having given the woman the option of paying in the first place. Also, nowadays paying for a meal or ticket anywhere is more of a negotiation rather than the man just being expected to pay everything. It's difficult to explain because it really is more about what words were used rather than being about exactly what the guy meant but everything about the way he phrased it gives off quite big red flags. As well as all the other red flags in that interaction.
As a gay man, I don't think I ever said "I took him out" or "he took me out", I always said "we were out" and I never really realised I did that until now
When I was 15/16 I was definitely a nice guy and if the Internet was as it is today, probably would have been drawn down the incel rabbit hole. One thing I'll never EVER understand though is when you get rejected and just start hurling abuse. Yeah I would get rejected and be all "urgh but I'm a nice guy, she only wants to date assholes" TO MYSELF. But I genuinely viewed myself as a nice guy and always believed that being mean and aggressive to someone was the total opposite of a nice guy, so I would just either leave the conversation or (which you should not do) just continue being friends with that person until they would fall in love with me (which they won't, they have told you their feelings, remaining in a friendship when your goal is more, especially after they have told you they aren't interested in you that way, is just creepy and its really demeaning to the person) Anyway, I grew up, realised that women don't owe me anything, realised I can just be friends with women, worked on my own personality and view points. And now I have a nice social circle and a beautiful partner who I love very much and makes me feel very loved also.
@haemahn6072 Cheers, I'm almost 30, and that's the thing, I do relate to the start of inceldom and do understand that it's alot easier to deal with rejection when you have a group of people saying "it's not you, it's this women, there isn't anything wrong with you". I wish I could do more to help young men out of that pipeline. I think that's actually one thing that made me decide to become a teacher. Self reflection is so important at all ages and reflecting on your past and being honest about it will make for a better future. I tell this story alot as the narrative according to incels would have been me being single, miserable and a virgin all my life and its all womens fault. But by examining my faults it allowed me to grow and become a better person and with that led me into a life where I could have a sustainable relationship.
Question on this. I have a not quite 15 year old son. He's a fairly typical nerdy boy who has (outside of the situation below) no female friends. Also no sisters or close female cousins. The one exception is that he has been doing kickboxing for 2 years and at the gym he goes to there is a really high number of girls in the youth program and women in the adult programs. In particular he is quite close to the gym owner's daughter who is two years younger than him. Is female friendship from a young age and through the early teen years helpful for young men in understanding women as humans and avoiding incel and "nice guy" types of thinking? Or is that something guys have to work out at an older age? Thanks ahead of time for any insight! (I'm a trans guy who came out at 45 so my understanding of young male psychology is somewhat limited.)
@@CorwinFound I had lots of female friends growing up and I think that definitely steared me clear from seeing women and girls as a collective and as their own people. However I wouldn't think that was is a necessity. Honestly my main advice is to communicate with your son, im not saying give him lectures, but see if you can just bring up in conversation his feeling towards women and find out what sort of spaces he is involved with online without invading his privacy. But at the end of the day be a positive male figure and show him how to respect others and how everyone is individual. You are asking these questions so automatically I think you are a great dad and I have all the faith that you are raising a great kid. Saying that as someone who is very much a nerd 😀
@@CorwinFoundI have a 17 year old and he had friends that were girls and a niece he was close to when he was younger so I figured we would be good because he was always close to them and had always just seen them as people.. sadly at 15ish his problematic grandparents and my husband started in with their stupid jokes about having crushes on some of them and then he just kind of stopped hanging out with them.. sadly by the time I had spoken to the husband about it and he had addressed it with his parents the damage was done and he was no longer comfortable with the girls in his friend circle.. he still talked to them online but no more hangouts.. we had a couple years of what I worried was the beginning of “the incel age” where he would come out with comments about “divorce being unfair to men” and complaining that girls at school were annoying and trying to trigger me because I’m a feminist and woke and we were in trump era. Now he has a few girls he hangs out with that like him and one that wanted to be his girlfriend but he is not really into any of them.. he has chilled out on the triggering me stuff.. It seems to me that if they have early friendships and the foundation of respecting women the incel stuff online may be fun for a bit but it doesn’t stick and he seemed to be performing it but not really buying into it.
I hate the fact that my female friends have to deal with these types of people. Like, imagine thinking you've got a friend, only for them to start yelling at you when you don't "give" them sex...
It's depressingly common. Most of my platonic relationships with men have ended with them attempting to date me (which i'm not demonizing in a vacuum, it's obviously fine if they want to ask), and then not respecting my no either by trying to force it or by blowing up and destroying the friendship. I don't know why so many men are like this.
two thins a) guys like this make me glad I am lesbian and b) guys like this are one very tiny step away from being full blown incels who start unaliving women and that's really scary.
I'm not young. I've seen SO MANY people(usually men) like that through the decades...and it IS scary, because they REALLY are the ones ending doing the most terrible and regrettable crap to others(usually women)... Being 'nice' as a manipulative scheme is NOT an indication of kindness in ANY way!! Sadly being lesbian doesn't protect you...wish you the best, keep an eye out!
Fr this is the reason we don't wanna fw guys who act like this, do they not realize how terrifying and creepy their entitled behaviour is? Women fear for their lives Hell nearly anyone you treat like a toy will have a reasonable gut reaction
Oh, I accidentally married a nice guy. Really didn't realize because I genuinely thought he was nice. Found out years into the relationship that he didn't see women as equals and only did n8ce things to be viewed as nice. I already was supposed to see him as nice, so i no longer got the nice treatment and he went after all the other girls. I left.
@@DJLordShango no, he was a player all along, i was just blind to it because i thought... i dunno, he was just being friendly? It wasn't my place to question his friendships? I wasn't worth standing up for? Hard to say. But therapy helped.
As a gay man I can't say much about straight nice guys, but I have met some gay nice guys. In fact I was friends with one. Turned out he was only nice to me all through highschool and after that because he thought that would make me want to date him and when I said I wasn't into him that way he went all desperate and started begging and texting me every day to see if I changed my mind. It was wild
Thank you for confirming my suspicion that there are "nice guys" who are gay & treat men they find attractive the same way that straight "nice guys" treat women.
I once was at a book fair with one of my best friend (we're both female presenting). We were leaving, and suddenly a guy approaches us trying to give us information on some sort of organisation we were not interested in. We said we had to leave. A friend of his got closer and closer, look at us in the eyes and quite creepily goes "ehi, you won't even listen to what this nice and cute guy has to say?" It was EXTREMELY uncomfortable, to the point I panicked, put my arm around my friend's shoulders and started dragging her away yelling at them "WE'RE LESBIAN BYE". They tried following us to the bus station but luckily we got on a bus immediately, and I heard one of them calling us bitches. Yes, such nice guys they both were👌
I like the guy who's like "I find it extremely irritating that you can't allude to anything remotely sexual or physical with girls until you are well established physically". Yes you can. Time, place and reading the vibe my guy. If you go around being that forward with people who aren't looking for hookups or in spaces that aren't conductive to that kind of thing, of course it won't work out.
Yeah it's actually not that difficult, I think what they're struggling with is that people can hear the difference between say, a dirty joke and a dirty joke with the intent of suggesting something that the person might be uncomfortable with. I've found that people who struggle socially often don't realise how much their intent is on display.
Very similar situation going on at work with a guy who stays around just for the female employees.. I cannot stress enough that loitering for attention in someone's workplace is NOT okay. It makes us uncomfortable. We can't really have much conversation while getting things done; it's not the appropriate place. Hanging around for longer has the opposite effect. And PLEASE do not come by just to look in/check for the person. IT IS NOT OKAY. If you are not a known friend, partner, or family member just do not do it. We will tell them and take measures to ensure their safety. Just work up the courage to ask if someone wants to go to a nearby coffee place. Shoot your shot and that's it. If they say no, just take the L and do not get kicked out of the store.
This is so true and relatable. I dealt with this frequently when I was working at a supermarket. Do NOT. HOLD. UP. THE. LINE. TO. FLIRT People are trying to work, the world does not revolve around you and this behavior is extremely rude and creepy. I cannot stand those guys. if I didn't show interest MOVE ON
One thing I will always love the McElroy brothers for is telling their audience, even early on when they weren't as tuned in as they are now, that workplaces are not lady zoos and taking a firm stance that you should not be trying to hit on someone at their place of business.
7:39 this yelp review was about me. I was working at subway during this time. The guy never made any effort to speak to me either. Him and his friend just sat at a table for hours on end being very annoying and trying to “sneak” glances at me. Later that evening when I had to go clean the restrooms (he was the last guy in the men’s room that night) there was pee all over the floor, and the toilet seat. I was not being paid enough at the time to clean up after a gROWN MAN. I literally had to have a discussion with my boss about this review the next day.
@@PensiveOmen oh I absolutely agree! Because most grown people actually make it into the toilet. There were toddlers that would come in that were potty trained better than he was too. Like how embarrassing
I saw this post once where the dude was like “I hate that being friends with girls means that they’re going to talk to me about their day, they aren’t going to sleep with me, etc” and the response was generally just “So you don’t like that being friends with girls means you are… friends? With girls?”
The woman who was ready to give her "friend" a pass chaulking it up to him being drunk and was willing to forget everything said is an absolute gem of a human. Glad she got an out but Im sad she lose what she thought was a good friendship.
The way she handled it was so mature and respectable despite his horrible and immature behaviour. He is the one losing a great friend I hope he realizes his mistake and learns
to make matters worse, here in the Bible belt our nice guys are often "Born Agains". Guys who pray every minute of the day but are at the core of their beings are the nastiest, most misogynistic, and, often, the most racist and all around worst haters you'll ever meet. I know humans screw up every religion but it's like these guys go out of their way to prevert Jesus' most basic teachings.
I'm a poly woman, and on my dating profile I always say "friendship is never a consolation prize" because romantic connection is more complex and involved than (most) platonic connection, but having more friends is always nice! Can't have a d&d group without friends 😂
Yea I gotta agree with the other replier, I'm also poly and I swear my platonic friends are actually way more complex relationships than my non-platonic ones and partners. Lovers take more time and attention, but usually you're so intimately aware of their needs (if you do it right) that it's almost simple. Friends are a little trickier because that extra vulnerability that comes with intimacy isn't there so you have to work harder to figure things out. Or I do anyway idk I often use sex as a social crutch so... 🤷🏼♀️
Oh God, if I were the women in the interactions described in this video, I would be calling the police, changing my number, and probably googling witness protection programs.
Given that I’m a lesbian I can confirm many women do like sex, we do get thirsty and flirty with people we find attractive, some do enjoy hooking up, when we are in environments were we feel safe and respected that is. There’s nothing biological that means women want sex less than men. It’s just that in regular cis/het society women have learned that it’s physically dangerous to be too open about those desires. Guys if you want straight women to be horny work at stopping men in general from being creeps.
Fun fact, there was actually a time when the stereotype was that women were the really horny ones and men were the disinterested ones. Truth is that women are taught to suppress and men are taught to exaggerate. Beyond that, it's really individual.
I will NEVER understand wanting someone to go out with you even when they've made it clear they're not attracted to you. I mean, how awful to thunk that someone would only date you out of pity, not because they actually like you. If I liked someone and found out they only went out with me because they felt sorry for me, I'd feel insulted, disrespected, looked down on, lied to.
Yeah, especially with guys who are persistent, I feel like they must have no sense of shame or self-respect to keep pushing someone who has repeatedly and unequivocally rejected them.
I think it must be because they don't view women as people, so their internal lives, feelings and desires don't matter, just that they have access to them.
@@QueenOfTheRandomI think you've hit the nail on the head here. I sometimes wonder if people like this just don't have a good theory of mind in general but it's hard to tell.
Convo about the guy creeping after his sister in law and her wife. 'Your brother's a dick but at least I didn't have to grow up with him' 'at least he never hit on me'.
Same though. It didn't take long for the realisation to hit, but there was a moment when I was thinking, "I'm pretty sure she doesn't want you crashing her vacation."
My main reaction to that line was remembering how I heard men who think their p*n*s size makes them good at s*x, that "bigger is better", tend not to be enjoyable partners.
I once had a former coworker years ago who had the nice guy mentality. I'm a guy myself. I was in my early 20s, so while I understood his thinking was wrong, I didn't understand why. After hearing so many nice guy stories over the years, I now realize why I got such a "creep" vibe from him. The idea that doing something nice for someone and that they will reciprocate with a social interaction or physical touch is odd.
What is that dishwasher thinking? Is he really thinking that the waitresses at the Hooters he works for are only there for him? WTF is wrong with him???
I’m part of a niche kink community online where generally the guys are the ones with the kink and the women are more often the content creators, etc. I’m a woman, one with this kink, and so I’m a little unusual because so often the other women like me get scared off by entitled “nice guys” just like these getting extremely sexually aggressive (even less patient because they see their dating pool as only being within this community, which is … skewed). They then create their own scarcity because “there’s no one to date who’s like them”. The perfect example of one of these types found my profile, saw that I’m in a relationship and unavailable, and went into a rage about it. Me, a total stranger, I was apparently the one responsible for his loneliness because “you’re ALL taken!” The lack of self-awareness is shocking and profound and very deeply layered.
Sometimes I'm honestly impressed by some of these guys. I don't know where I'd find the courage to message a girl I just insulted 😂😂 I'd love to study their brains
😂Me missing the message: “I’m packing and know my way around a bedroom.” Me: “where are you going? and also, I’d certainly hope so, if you’re trying to pack.”
@@DinosaurNick I'm not ace but I have no idea what the "I'm packing" means there. I did get the "I know my way around a bedroom". It's an odd choice to say "I'm a good lover" though.
@@silviasanchez648”I’m packing” = “I have a large penis” But actually my first thought was that he had a gun and it was a threat, til the bedroom part. I grew up in a very gun-centric state.
1:15 If you're attracted to someone who wants to be friends- it's very likely they don't want to be anything more, you have to be prepared to accept & respect that. If the friendship is making you unhappy because you keep feeling non-platonic feelings for them, tell them that it may be better to cut ties because you can't view them as a friend. It's bad for both of you if you have different kinds of feelings for eachother. 11:19 the correct response is "Oh my bad, hope you meet a wonderful girl, then." 19:38 at least he's warning people and not getting someone unknowingly involved, I respect that.
The fact that the holiday girl was willing to forgive and forget that outburst really says a lot about how desperate women are for platonic male friends. It reminds me of when I saw a woman say "oh shit, it happened again, I thought he was a friend but he just wanted to sleep with me" (Edited to remove irrelevance)
Dude, happens all the time. The last time it happened to me, just a few years ago, I was utterly DEVASTATED. Bc all along I thought he was interested in what I had to say, like a friend; and wanted to hang bc we had things in common, like a friend. This is someone I would see 2-3 times a week, every week, text with him every day. Then he asked me out. I said no... then he completely ghosted me. Just all that time as friends gone, like it was nothing. It was heartbreaking to think a man saw me as a real person, only to learn he was just bidding his time. It made me so depressed that the "men and women can't be friends" cliche was real. That I was so disposable just bc I wouldn't sexually service him. That I finally let my guard down and let a man in my friends circle, and he proved all the negative stereotypes to be true. And until then, he really was a nice guy. He had all of us (a group of about 5 women) fooled. Knew how to act appropriately around women, never leered or made innuendos or anything uncomfortable. All my female friends enjoyed hanging out with him bc he was "such a great guy." Then *bang* dirtbag. At least he didn't call me names or put me down - he just stopped talking to me. I think these kinds of "nice guys" are so self absorbed that it doesn't occur to them how crushing or angering it can be to experience such dehumanization like that.
Yeah, I've lost count of how many guys I thought were friends turned out to just be after sex with me, despite that I think I'm a pretty ordinary looking woman. I mean, maybe all my woman & enby friends are actually pan, bi or lesbian & just want to bang me, too, but at least they never end up rubbing my nose in it! SMH.
@@KossolaxtheForesworn unfortunately, there is a reason. We men are socially taught that emotional vulnerability and support is something you get in a relationship, it's not something friends do. Women aren't taught that. So men who don't know any better think the first female friend who provides emotional support is their one true love. They either learn they have it wrong and try to unlearn this dumb lesson, or they don't learn, blame the woman for "leading them on" and repeat the pattern again and again. (Source, I'm a man who did this, felt bad and is trying to learn emotional vulnerability with his male friends who have also done this)
I can relate. I do appreciate if they tell me early on, because I can't read minds. I love making new friends but it's hard to tell who is real sometimes and who just wants to get in your pants it is sad
This reminds me of when I was telling my ex-boyfriend a "Nice Guy" story from my past which made me realize my ex was a "nice guy," too. The story is that I was drinking with friends, and this man who was a friend of a friend to me was talking about a woman from his work who was always saying no when he would invite her out to places. He would say he wasn't romantically interested in her but then kept going on about how he kept offering, how he's a nice guy, what's wrong with her, why is she being so anti-social, etc. After several minutes of his monologue, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I calmly said "Maybe you aren't such a nice guy...." He was PISSED, but I thought I had a point and wasn't really being mean, and I didn't say anything more than that. So I was telling my then-boyfriend this story and that I was kinda proud that I called it out (Because I am an anomaly! :P). HOWEVER, my then-boyfriend reacted with "I would have been SO angry if you'd said that to me." WTF? I should have realized that was a red flag!
I’m glad he’s an ex. (Also, your response to the other guy was excellent. With more optimism than is probably warranted, I hope it shifted something for him and he was able to change.)
@@kalieris Maybe! Mr. "Nice Guy" was so angry that he went outside and smashed his beer bottle to the ground! So yeah, I think it left an impression and maybe made him see. I've not been keen on seeing him again since our friends group ended due to several of us moving, so I may never know.
OOF Yea that's a red flag for an abuser tbh, if they can't take criticism or pushback without getting mad about it, then they're absolutely controlling and probably violent.
I've watched a 2.5 hour video essay about a vampire show I've never seen in a single sitting. I've watched a 3.75 hour video essay about a theme park I'll never go to in a single sitting. I had to watch this in parts because these guys were so insufferable. My condolences to Jamie for putting himself through this and to everyone who's had to deal with this sort of behavior
I had this happen once. A guy asked me if I wanted to go to the movies. I told him yes! I love movies and you seem nice so this would be great to get to know you. Just know that I'm not romantically interested. He told me. " nah, never mind" I felt dirty that he only thought of me that way, and didn't even want to get to know me as a person, a friend.
@@Omneyvdwatering Hard agree. Plus I don't really understand wanting to date someone if you don't also see the potential for a strong friendship. Like would they not be friends with their partner? 😅 Odd attitude in my eyes.
23:27 Depending on the relation between you two you can make a sexual joke to a girl. It really depends on the context, how well you know each other and a few other things. I for example once made a joke like this to a girl I know which she thought was funny (I would tell the joke but it’s difficult to translate it to English). This doesn’t mean you can just go round making these kind of jokes to people, you can do it as long as you are considerate with it. And if the other person doesn’t like it then apologise
True. Even before transitioning to present as a woman, even before I came out as trans, I would make jokes about my girl friends and how hot they were. Things like my friend asking how she looked and my response being "like a snack" or her asking how her clothes looked and my response being "almost as good as they'd look on my floor". We made jokes like this to eachother a lot, but it was always clearly a joke. Also you can totally hit on your girl friends, just make sure you've established yourself as someone that is actually fine with that not being reciprocal and make sure you are genuinely okay with being friends and nothing else. I've told a lot of friends I've had crushes on them, asked a few out on dates. Never once did it ruin a friendship, because I wasn't just using friendship to get close to them, I valued the friendship as much as I would have valued any other relationship with them. (this also actually meant I had a greater chance of getting a yes to things like fwb or whatever because I was comfortable in myself and put the friendship first)
The one dude who gave the “juicy” mammoth rant, he was talking about intelligence but going after a mammoth that is “juicy” implies one that is big and in good health, I would say that lacks any intelligence. Humans would go after smaller, weaker, sickly, or all of those types of mammoths because they had a better chance of taking them down with less injuries or deaths, we were much smaller and weaker than them and we didn’t have that good enough weapons to take them down. Taking on a fully healthy mammoth in it’s prime is mind numbingly dumb. Also, fun fact, it’s been found that most hunting parties consisted of men and women because at the end of the day when you’re looking for food and that food just so happens to be an extremely large and deadly animal, you’ll take all the help you can get. Also, most of our food during that period came from food that was gathered. Hunting was not a sustainable enough way to get us food so gathering plants was a more consistent and safer option. Ironically, one of the biggest steps forward for humanity was farming because it gave us a pretty consistent food source that allowed us to stay in one place and build it up. I know I would very off track but I find human history to be absolutely insane….
A sickly mammoth would likely make you sick if you eat it. We don't eat sick animals. The intelligence would come in in _how_ we hunt the mammoth. Team work, weapons, restricting it's movement by using terrain to our advantage. Eating the healthy mammoth, is the intelligent choice. Everything else is accurate, but that one is unlikely. We probably wouldn't have hunted the biggest, maybe a runt, a young one or an old one, but we definitely did not hunt sick animals.
@@Jane-oz7pp , cancer, kidney failure, heart insufficiency, or general old age are not contagious, just to name a few. Bacteria get killed by sufficient cooking. Most viruses don't hop between species. So most sickly/weak animals will be safe to eat. The smart hunting is still necessary, though, for example by chasing a small group of mammoths with fire to a cliff, where at least one might fall to its death.
A guy I considered a friend was a Nice Guy and I had to cut ties with him because he got really creepy really fast out of nowhere. Edit: If anyone is wondering, I'm engaged and asexual but he started making graphic sexual advances despite knowing this.
oof I'm sorry you went through that. I'm demisexual and got out of a relationship last year with a 'nice guy' i lived with for 11 years who manipulated threatened and controlled me so I couldn't leave and then SA'd be and emotionally and mentally abused me and now I'm borderline sex repulsed
A few years ago, my friend (G) (who isn't alive anymore) was in a polyamorous relationship with two people. This was online btw. One of them (R) constantly ignored her and got angry whenever she was upset. He didn't like her at all while the other (S) wasn't like that. R constantly said he was a nice guy but did toxic things. G got fed up of R and dumped him a bit later (a few weeks or months later). She still dated S at the time but later decided to break up with them and stay single. R proceeded to make a whole thread on Twitter lying about her. He accused her of cheating, manipulating him and sending death threats which she didn't even do. He proceeded to harass her and got his friends to do it too. She got so ill she couldn't eat and ended her life (also due to other things going on). He didn't even care she was gone. It's been a few years and I miss her a lot. Still hate that guy.
As a 21 year old guy who's never even kissed a girl, I understand the anger at the situation of not having a girlfriend, but you CANNOT be angry at women for not wanting to go out with you, and you definitely aren't entitled to anybody you like. These people are only hurting their chances at getting someone by being creepy assholes.
If you're really as good as you're saying here, you'll get someone eventually. There's no shame in not having kissed anyone, at any age. Even though society acts like there is.
The irony in people saying 'I don't use pronouns', they're so dumb, obviously skipped elementary school level language as the word I is in fact, a pronoun.
You'd think you'd expect less of a chance with Hooter's waitresses since they are used to having guys falling over them trying to desperately get with them.
Yassss I thrive on the Jamie and Roly dynamic. Roly is the protective angry punk big brother to Jamie's soft, gentle, sweet cinnamon bun, and we need more of it.
It honestly feels like an entire generation of guys grew up on 90's rom com movies while being pampered by their parents, and then realizing that the real world is wildly different, has just devastated them from being beyond emotionally stable.
Nice guys: girls just don't know how it feels to be rejected because people aren't attracted to them Also nice guys: you girls better not be fat or have short hair because I won't be attracted to you Also, of course I am an anomaly 😂
Married to an actual nice guy. But that's not how he described himself, or how I would describe him. "Nice" is the lowest acceptable bar of humans. If the only positive word you can describe yourself with is "nice" in your profile, then bad luck. Try actually focusing your energy on falling in love with what you're passionate about, then meet someone who also loves that. If you're attracted to each other, yay! If you're not, then you've just made a great friend! Some people need to go outside and touch grass once in a while.
21:09 "Women are attracted to actual intelligence (how to succeed in life), not incelligence (eidetic memory of one's entire pepe folder and strategic knowledge of how Germany could've won WW2" is such a hilarious and accurate call-out that I'm surprised the OP didn't end up in the hospital with 3rd degree burns.
Holy cow, that was a lot of dirtbag (and potentially sex criminals) in one sitting ... and yet it all feels so familiar and common. Like "oh yeah, had that one" ... "oh, and that one too" ... "see that one daily." But for realsies, it's kind of terrifying that this kind of anger and entitlement to women is so common and widespread. It's a combo that progresses to sexual assault and date rapist; it's not just dickweeds complaining about not getting to possess a woman they want. These kinds of guys can develop from asshole to real threat. I mean, I literally once had a guy spend 10 min telling me he was a nice guy for not sexually assaulting women, even though they deserve it in their short skirts and drinking. It's kinda scary being a woman sometimes. There was a great meme about this topic going around about 10 years ago - unfortunately I can't remember the author - and it always comes up in these "nice guy" scenarios. It said: Friend zoning isn't real Because women are not machines You put kindness coins in Until sex falls out. I may not have gotten that exactly right from memory, but I thought it was brilliant and quote it often
the video commentary is right on. i just want to ask, did someone painstakingly sculpt a pint of ice cream into a detailed face? that's amazing, i hope they're proud & know their work achieved meme status
Make it even better. Say, "I am an anomaly, and I love me." Say it every day because you deserve to hear it! We are all wonderfully unique, and the world is better for it.
I am so sorry I couldn't finish the episode, these entitled jerks make me violently ill. I used to be a bit of a 'nice guy' and every time I think back to that part of my life, I want to reach back in time to strangle my past self.
I knew a guy, like an *actually nice* guy not a "nice guy", and us as a couple seemed great *on paper.* We should've been a match, we liked a lot of the same things, had a similar sense of humour, all that. But just no. He liked me, I didn't like him back that way. Just didn't. I thought I should, and wondered why I didn't. Sometimes it just doesn't happen 🤷♀ And you're right, "I'm an anomaly" is fun to say! 😄
@@Caffeinated_Arden They probably do think that. It's the same kind of crazy thought that makes these creeps send d*ck pics. Like the person they're sending them to is gonna see that and go "OMG! I _have_ to touch that!" 🤮
I once had a disagreement with a slightly younger guy friend, and afterward, he went on social media and posted some vaguely disparaging generalization about "25-year-old girls," i.e., the age I happened to be at the time. He stopped talking to me shortly afterward, but in retrospect, it sort of reminds me of the time I said I didn't like people from a certain part of the US because my family spent a lot of time traveling cross country to visit friends/family from said part of the US but those friends/family rarely traveled to visit us. Perhaps a valid frustration, but a poor way of expressing it.
