Trans people have always existed and more facts found on trans tiktok Order my book here: lnk.to/TheTinLGBT Join this channel to get access to perks: / @jammidodger
I'm openly trans in a rural town in the Bible Belt, and me being openly trans definitely reduced the stigma around it here. I know I'm taking a big risk, but I think it's worth it.
Thank you for that. I've never gone back, but that wasn't my childhood area anyway, and everybody I loved in Lubbock is long dead. You're a pioneer, almost 50 years after Renee Richards was all over the headlines. Total respect.
@@Ilikebread879 I haven't met any real hostility. I do get a lot of questions, but I'm more than happy to answer them. (I know most trans people hate these questions, but I have no problem educating people. I don't care if Google is free)
I’m a barista working in a relatively leftist town but with an older demographic. Theres a trans woman who gives out monthly flyers in coffee shops talking about her life and she includes little quizzes about films, sports etc. Despite the prejudice she gets, she’s never missed a month in about 3-4 years - what an icon!
63 Y/O Transman here, knew since I was 3, told my mother and got told no. Transitioned at 58, zero regrets. You can transition at any age, be true to yourself.
It's all in the small things ❤ As a trans guy my dad showing me more Farm mechanics really got me understanding he is ok with having a son now so you are doing good mama
When my cousin was like 6 years old, my aunt and uncle had him get cosmetic surgery to “fix his ears” because they didn’t want him to be bullied in school for having ears that stick out. A few years later, the same cousin went on HRT because he was so short. The same aunt and uncle are transphobic. This is how I know transphobes (among other reasons) are completely full of shit with all of their “concerns” about children being too young to transition.
What "I don't think it's good for people to transition at a young age because they're gonna regret it" means is "I don't like change so I'm gonna bully people"
Yeah, and if people worried that kids might make these choices due to outside pressure from parents (which is a small but real possibility) - just give more funding for treatment! This way we can make sure these important decisions are made by people who truly want that and it's their wish and their alone. Taking away that chance from everyone just to "protect" kids from pressure does not seem like the best choice. It's incredibly arrogant of them to know better than people themselves and their doctors on top of it.
My wife is a trans woman, 35, and I'm transmasc nonbinary, 40, and we have two kids, two dogs, and a little house in the woods. We try to be visible in our small community, because it really is so rare to see trans folks even our age, even with the relatively large LGBT+ population where we are.
I'm a 34 year old trans man! I started transitioning at 20. Wish I could have as a kid but ah well. It is strange thinking we are the elder trans people!
I'm a 41 year old non-binary, as well. I might be transmasc, but on a very minor level, since I don't feel a huge pull towards either binary gender. I've yet to have top surgery, but I hope to soon. I wish I'd had the resources back in my teens and early twenties to know what being enby was. I always just assumed something was wrong with me because I wasn't feminine and couldn't relate to girls my age.
I am 39. I came out as identifying as gender fluid when I was 25 but at 35 realised I identify as a demi-guy & finally started medically transitioning when I was 36. I wish I would have done it sooner!
My transgender child started to talk about how he felt different when he was about 12. Over the next couple of years he expressed himself in different ways, changed his name, and we supported his journey. He was put on the gender clinic waiting list at 14 to start the medical transition process. He finally got approved last week, he turns 17 in a month. None of it is a quick process, and any transphobe who think it is a passing phase has no understanding of the process or difficulty involved. I am so proud of my son, and any other transgender person, who has walked this path.
Thank you for supporting your son in this. I will probably have to wait til I’m a legal adult, because my parents do not give me the same support. Your support means the world to him, even if he doesn’t say it ❤
Omg congrats yo ur son, i turn 17 in 2 months and just got my letter written by my therapist. So happy for ur son and thank you for being such a good parent!
my dad is a transwoman and she transitioned at a pretty old age compared to others (goes by she/her, she felt weird about being called a mom though so said to keep calling her dad). She tells me a lot what it was like growing up in a time where even the smallest hint of queerness would basically get you persecuted, at least in the U.S. bible belt, so it makes a lot of sense that there aren't as many older trans people cause of their deep-rooted fear that's grown much longer than anybody in their 20s.
One of my parents is the same :) originally she wanted to be called Mapi (combination of Swiss German Mami (mum) and Papi (dad)), but now she prefers being called mum. She always knew and was made fun of because of her being trans in school but only stopped masking and started transitioning in her late 30s, when I was about 5 (c. 2000)
I'm the same! The dad of my child was pretty controlling and emotionally abusive so i dont want to be confused with him. My child calls me mum or my name and referrs to me using he/they pronounce. Its not confusing to him but I get a lot of weird looks and questions, even from other trans people.
That's not uncommon with trans parents! I know a trans man (and have talked to more online) who uses masculine terms in every other area of his life, but he is his kids' mom and doesn't have any desire to mess with the relationship that "mom" implies.
Us older transmen DO exist, we just… had a lot more struggle to go through with it, or face it, or whatever. So most of us just aren’t loud and proud on social media. But we exist, its just we aren’t visible. We pass, thats easier, so we do that. (I am not a parent, but I am in my 40s, and started transition just over a decade ago… See more about that in my own comment :) )
That’s because we keep our heads down as everyone treats you as a narcissist for being a parent who dares to transition. Apparently, according to transphobes , my kids own me now, because I had them! It’s an interesting take from social conservatives, because they usually believe in parental rights and exert control even over grown adult children! They demand respect from their offspring. But for trans parents, there’s a special rule where they get told by their babies what they’re allowed to do for the rest of their lives............
@@sarahcivilization9905 It has its highs and lows and definitely isn’t a job that would work for most people. For example, I’ve been away from home for the holidays two years in a row now. On the flip side, I love driving and have seen more of the country in the past two years than I had seen in my entire life before. I would also say that a good chunk of every day is spent just trying to avoid accidents with other drivers who don’t seem to appreciate just how dangerous it is to press their luck with a semi.
There's a trans woman on RU-vid who says people point out all the, "masculine" features on her face, telling her they knew because of xyz Which is hilarious to me because they are considered desirable features amongst many women jn general but the moment they find out she's trans they pretend they always knew because of them. As if there aren't a myriad of cis models with jawlines just like hers
My daughter’s best friend is trans. He transitioned socially in grade three. I asked my daughter whether or not he has a tough time at school with being trans. Her response was “Oh. Um, I don’t even think most people know. He’s just him! Not that I think anyone would care…”.
You know I think that’s the thing. Everyone should just stop caring. I mean I wouldn’t mind being called she, even tho I’m a man. If everyone stops caring who loves what (goes for transphobes and trans people, or people with different sexualities) or who you are, it would be so good. We don’t need to label everything, I don’t care if you’re gay, why tell me? And why should the transphobes care? Why can’t we let people be people?
@@TheRealF.ckingJesus Exactly! I genuinely think that if we just let kids be who they are, don’t force gender stereotypes in them, then gender dysphoria would be so much less impactful. I don’t care who someone is attracted to, or what is under their clothes, I don’t get why people can feel so threatened by people who are gay or trans. And it angers me when parents don’t accept kids for who they are.
I'm a 62 year old trans man. Almost all trans individuals I knew myself or older did not label ourselves trans. Instead, we would say we had "gender identity issues." We revealed this to only our most trusted friends.
I loved that clip with Miriam Margolyes, because it shows a) people in the LGBTQ+ community don't know everything about every group in it, b) she acknowledged that she was wildly wrong and apologized, c) nobody does any one thing universally, and d) trans indigenous people! I was so nervous when it started, and I'm so thankful it got better. Allyship is important, and so is listening.
She is great, she has her views but is also open to changing them when more evidence is presented ❤ She listened to an alternative viewpoint and said "I was wrong, I'm sorry, thank you for teaching me " ❤️
I told a friend at work I was going on a date with a girl later that week, she asked for pictures and I showed her the picture of the lovely girl I was going to meet. She came back later and said there is something you got to know.. I said what? She told me she had heard from a friend that the woman I was going to date was born as a man . . yeah, I know , I said.. What? You do? And you are ok with that? Of course I am! I thought everyone at work knew me , obviously not . And I told her: next time, let the trans people get the chance to tell about themself to the person they are dating, and when I told her I was a trans man she probably felt quite stupid.
In terms of Miriam Margoles (the woman talking to the aboriginal sistergirls), she is definitely trying her best but still very in process of learning. I saw a clip of her talking to a young trans person about her learning about the trans experience and actually understanding for the first time that trans women are women/trans men are men. She's from a very Germaine Greer-y school of feminism so seeing her being open to change and learning actually gives me a lot of hope. She and my mum are pretty much my twin sources of hope that you can start from a TERF-adjacent space and end up being an ally.
Being Aboriginal Australian and queer, I've received more love and support from that side of my family than I ever have from white society. There are amazing trans activists that no one talks about. And seeing Miriam talking to Sistergirls was so affirming for me, because it shows just how different people experience, not only gender, but expression as well. Not to mention that the Tiwi Islands have the highest rate of trans people in Australia! Sistergirl and Brotherboy are terms just for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people, similar to 2spirit just being for Native American people
Fellow queer Australian here, hello! I have Indigenous Australian heritage but my family’s connection to it was lost because of the Stolen Generations (we don’t even know the language group), and I’m always so happy to learn about beautiful things like that. Also, that fact about the Kiwi Islands is so interesting! Happy new yeat
Hello fellow moolagoo! My niece said to me when she was 4 "Aunty, you a moolagoo" I told her yes, I was. Then she said "Am I a moolagoo?" I asked her if she still wanted to marry her friend, Hamish. She said "Oh, yes!" I said "probably not, then". From an old moolagoo Kuarna/Ngarrindjeri mob woman.
regarding the ending, when people say "LGBT isn't natural" my response is "Billions of animals with different races, millions of animals with more than two sexes, thousands of animals with multiple sexualities, hundreds of animals able to change their gender, but only one has a problem with all of this."
I'm intrigued as to examples of animals that you think have "more than two sexes" or "multiple sexualities". Please share some specific examples so we can all learn.
@@NexusOfChaos This is not correct. Bees are either male or female. Yes, they have a slightly different system of sharing DNA called haplodiplody but that's to their biological advantage where the colony is isolated. It does not detract from the basic biology of male and female bees. How on earth do dogs have "multiple sexualities"??? Honestly, you have been reading some weird stuff on Wikilies and I suggest you go back to some good, basic biology books.
37 year old trans dude reporting in, been transitioning since around 28 years old. Also having me and my husband's first baby right after Christmas (I'm gay and my husband is cis, I just paused my hormones to start a family) so older trans dudes with families are out here! ❤️
Your husband is straight, and so are you. Nothing about your relationship with him is gay. Also considering y’all have a child together, that’s very far from being a gay male couple.
I used to have this paper doll book with a person with long eyelashes and a person with short eyelashes. My parents told me that boys actually had longer eyelashes in real life. So I would just flip-flop the outfits for the people, no matter what the designers wanted it to be interpreted as. I would put both in dresses and both in t-shirts and shorts. To this day I still remember my non-binary paper dolls.
i’m a trans man and currently 3 days post-op from my top surgery! as a young person medically transitioning, it was really hard listening to a lot of people tell me that i’ll regret it 10 years in the future, but the amount of giddiness and joy i’ve been feeling over these past few days being post-op has me looking forward to the rest of my life for the first time. for that, it’s all worth it to me :)
Congratulations!!! I have surgery scheduled for March and I'm so so so excited. I definitely had some people ask "well couldn't you just get a reduction?" or express concern that I needed to be super sure because that's permanent, and it's always hard not to get a bit annoyed. Like trust me, I've been sure I hated 'em since I got 'em.
@@echoc7213 congrats on your surgery date!! i hope all goes well for you!! :) it really is hard not to get irritated with people for saying stuff like that. it’s permanent, yes, but that’s kind of the whole point of it. it’s a permanent change that makes a lot of trans people’s quality of life permanently better than it was before
I've been debating if I want to get that later on in life, but I have a really bad fear of pain, needles, and similar things that have worried me quite a bit. Is it okay if you tell me a bit about it? Obviously none of the private parts, but how has it been since, and stuff about before/during that aren't any private things? And also, obviously congrats! I'm glad you had the confidence in yourself to do that
@@CharaDreemurr_TheyThem thank you!! :) i’m alright sharing a little bit! everyone is different with their experiences and how their body works so don’t take my word as gospel tho! with how it went for me, the IV was the worst part pain wise but once it was in it was alright. as of right now 3 days post op i haven’t really felt any pain even when i initially woke up afterwards, it’s mostly just itchy with the post op binder where the drains are. sometimes when it is sore it’s like being sore after you’ve exercised a lot the previous day. i’ve just been taking tylenol and ibuprofen regularly and that’s been doing the trick. everyone is different tho!! that’s just been my experience with it. if you’re looking into it but have that fear of pain you could talk to your doctor/surgeon/anesthesiologist about it, mine really helped me out!
I like this one: "When the straight divorce rate in America goes from over half to a tiny number, I'll worry about the tiny number of people who transition back." They wanna worry about permanent decisions, when they've decided that theirs don't count? Pffft.
@@llynxfyremusicyou know you suck at trolling when what is supposed to be a ragebait comment just reads as a fairly harmless almost wholesome story--
I'm a homemaker for the elderly and one of my clients is a trans woman who was born in '55. They are insecure about their transness and still holds some internalized transphobia as well as internalized fatphobia about "looking like a woman," but just knowing that they exist and are making steps towards their transition even now warms my heart.
Oh! And can't forget to add: They bring up the smallest, MOST fringe, extreme cases as "examples". But if you counter with "Intersex". They get SUPER huffy and accuse you of cherry picking because "That's SUCH a small amount it shouldn't even count!" xP
I was 19 (an adult) when I saw a therapist about my gender dysphoria. She wouldn't approve me for HRT until I had lived as my gender identity for about a year. I demonstrated consistency and insistence that I am a woman without any deviation. So yeah, even for adults it's not very easy to get on hormones.
@@Kylora2112 Imagine if people acted the same way over tattoos or plastic surgery. Nearly everybody would be pushing against it. It’s ridiculous. Our bodies, our choice.
Jesus Christ the things some people have to go through- whenever I hear about all these ridiculous requirements for HRT around the world I’m always so glad to be Scottish. All it took was 2 appointments getting down the details of my life, expectations and medical history, one more to get a blood sample taken, and then the next time I showed up they were like ‘ok now just sign this consent form and we’ll send a letter to your doctor’ and boom, a week or so later I got my prescription
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry it was so difficult for you. I hope life has been better for you since. You are an amazing and beautiful human being, and I am proud of you! Keep pushing towards being your true self, whatever that means for you! I believe in you! 🦖🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🦕
I am medically transitioning at 40, and damn do I wish I knew about this stuff 35 years ago. Just glad I was able to wear men's clothes at 15 (after my anti LGBT+ dad was finally out of the picture, my mom is my biggest ally). Never knew there was HRT or surgeries till now. I envy all the younger folks. -edit- Thanks for the kind words everyone, you are all amazing peoples! :D
Welcome to your life, Dude (I was also 40). There's still a lot of room to do things. And you get to be an old man; one of my biggest dreams since I was a toddler. No nightgowns for us!!!
I wish I knew too. As things are now, if I knew back then and was in an accepting situation, I would have transitioned, but now I feel like it's too much effort and still too much stigma for me to transition.
I started around the same age, for the same reasons, though I'm nonbinary and transitioning in the other direction. Had I known nonbinary was even a possibility growing up, and had there been options available at that time, I likely would have jumped on them. It's like the proverb about the best time to plant a tree. You can't go back and change the past, so the second best time is now.
I wonder how much of that "trans kids grow out of it" thing is trans kids giving up on being able to transition because of all the hate, or "you'll regret it", or "its permanent are you sure?" and stuff and, while still being trans, just don't openly identity and try anymore because its all just made them give up. I have a bit of experience with that.
Many of the detransitioners that conservatives love to weaponize are just people who are still very much trans but were so beaten down by the system that they exist in (by their family, friends community etc) that they just gave up on transitioning until they're much older and in a safer environment. A person was in a documentary made by some conservative group (maybe PragerU?) that includes someone who still expresses that they wish to be a boy but were so brainwashed by religion that they just deal with the dysphoria. It's a debilitating reality that many trans people face.
i watched this tiktok (in a comp) about how the majority of "detransitoners" are actually still trans but either can't start/continue hormones or for that change in those around them i know it isnt the same for me, as i am trans today, but in the early days things were hard and i gave up, stopped trying to correct, changed the discord pronoun roles lol but inside i was still a man, and later i got to be me again i hope the people out there who gave it up get to live their truth someday
There is a youtuber I think her name is Mercury Stardust. She was a handyman before her transition (she now calls herself a handym'am) and she posts advice on how to do stuff around your house, how to fix stuff. She's super wholesome. ❤
I’m 47 yo and I started my transition 2 years ago and your videos helped me to explain to my family. My husband is my biggest supporter and so are his parents. My family is coming around. I’ve always been a man. The dysphoria was getting really bad. I just want to say thank you for putting out the content you do. It helps people of all ages.
My heart sank a little at Miriam's early comments. But massive props to her for listening, learning and apologising! Have a wonderful holiday season, all my trans and non-binary siblings around the world!
And the cis het allies not only wish not only the gays, lesbians and bi peeps but all our trans brothers and sisters as well as non binary siblings a very merry Christmas. Have a happy safe one and may the new year be one full of love, health, happiness and support! Continue living in your truth with all the confidence and happiness in the world and be the best possible version of yourselves!
I will never forget the man at the social security office when we went to get my daughters gender marker changed after the court allowed her legal name and gender change. As she handed him the information from the court, he looked at her in the eyes and told her that she had a beautiful name. I wish I could say everyone has been as kind to her over the years, but her first big interaction with a stranger after the start of her journey, made me cry happy tears.
Hey, I am a trans dad in my 40s, and I have two kids with my partner of almost 20 years (also trans.) Your comment about not seeing a lot of us older folk hit me right in the feelings. I try to be open and available for younger folk if they want to connect, because there was no internet when I was young, so there was no way for me to find others who were like me, and my partner and I sort of had to muddle through everything, and it was so hard not to have any elders to look up to. Anyway if you (or other trans folk) ever want to connect, hit me up!
I’m nonbinary afab and my family doesn’t know lol but my niece who is 5. Has decided that I am boy. And she constantly argues and shuts my mom down when my mom tries to correct her. I love my niece more than anything lol
If I am old enough to learn how to drive, chose a college, choose my lifelong career, work a job, and make a bank account, then I am old enough to know my gender. Edit: Y’all stop arguing in my replies.
@@jermgSo we should give everyone puberty blockers because minors are too young to go through puberty in your opinion? Weird and I doubt many would agree, but you’re entitled to your opinion There are already age limits and so many steps that ppl have to go through just to access what to some is life saving care, that are procedures/changes that ppl that aren’t trans can get at that age or younger without you or anyone having any issue with it. Why is it so that just cuz someone is trans 16 is too young to go through puberty when if they’re not trans ppl think 8 is okay? And don’t get me wrong, I’m not for that trans kids should get hormones that young, I just don’t understand why there are such double standards.
@@jermg Sure, anything can probably be obtained illegally and there there would be no restrictions, but most don’t do illegal things. I’d love to hear what you believe the process to be able to transition generally is like(+where in the world you are) because from what I’ve heard and read from world wide it’s generally not easy to get gender affirming care, waitlists to just be able to get an appointment in the first place to talk to someone about wanting treatment can take years in some places, letters of confirmation from at least one medical professional(typically therapist) confirming that they believe the care is right for the person, for minors parental consent, again age limits that in extremely few cases where it’s absolutely necessary are followed(and then care is still not given that much earlier than the age limit) I believe anyone deserves to be affirmed because that is just listening to what the person is saying and believing them, taking it seriously. And what else would you even do? Tell them that you don’t think they are trans? Like if another person knows you more than you do? Do you think we should try to make them stop being trans by conversion therapy? Because that doesn’t change who someone is(nothing does) and it’s extremely harmful. I don’t think there should be a “affirm or diagnose” because both can be done and trans isn’t the diagnosis either, gender dysphoria is the diagnosis and that is gender related distress, being trans is just that the gender doesn’t match what one was recorded as at birth. “Do you not think gender dysphoria is a very complex disorder…” I definitely do(and haven’t said nor hinted at that I don’t, so don’t see why you’re assuming what my opinion on it is), but since you seem to agree it begs the question of why you think that you, that have proven you are ignorant should make the rules instead of professionals. “…(do you not think gender dysphoria) requires more than immediate affirmation to green light puberty blockers?” Not that that’s ever the process, doctors will see if they think medical care will benefit the patient in all cases before giving it to the patient, often(and all the time in cases of gender affirming care) will there be more steps as well. But to answer the question; no, I think it requires less since puberty blockers prevent irreversible changes and don’t cause any. But you certainly need to decide what age you think is too young for puberty because in one breath you say that minors are too young and in the next you want to force minors through puberty even when it would cause them great distress. Also would be lovely if you could respond to everything I’m writing. I get it that it can be hard to respond when you don’t know what you’re talking about, but then it’s better to just not say anything at all.
@@jermg Can’t see my response, so don’t know if you can either, I’ll therefore chop it up and see if that helps. 1/ Sure, anything can probably be obtained illegally and there there would be no restrictions, but most don’t do illegal things. I’d love to hear what you believe the process to be able to transition generally is like(+where in the world you are) because from what I’ve heard and read from world wide it’s generally not easy to get gender affirming care, waitlists to just be able to get an appointment in the first place to talk to someone about wanting treatment can take years in some places, letters of confirmation from at least one medical professional(typically therapist) confirming that they believe the care is right for the person, for minors parental consent, again age limits that in extremely few cases where it’s absolutely necessary are followed(and then care is still not given that much earlier than the age limit)
I'm 47 and just started my medical transition, already socially transitioned. I don't know anyone else my age that is trans and I'm considering making videos of my medical journey to help other people my age. We are out here, we just need more people speaking up!
I'm not trans. I will however have numerous arguments with transphobes because I will always fight for trans rights, though you can't fight stupid (phobia) you can only control what you say. Trans rights are human rights and I wish more people to would see that. ❤️🏳️⚧️❤️
Same. It become a things at my work now - if something is happening around legal gender identity or a very visible LGBTQIA+ thing hits the news cycle, my coworkers will actually be curious of my opinion/sort of float their weird misconceptions my way....I guess they want to know more but don't even really have the language to ask. I am not trans, but I try to be a visible and vocal ally wherever I go, and hope like hell I'm not talking over a stealth colleague.
Well, there are also ignorant people who simply don't know much about the topic, but if you talk to them in a friendly way and teach them those things, they'll change their minds. A few years ago, I was the one asking ignorant questions, e.g. in this comment section, but because I wanted to understand better. And those people that react defensively or hostilely don't help, even though I understand where they're coming from and wouldn't blame them for it. I appreciate everyone who tried to actually answer my questions. Luckily, I also have a friend who for a while questioned her gender (she still identifies as female though as an AFAB person), and she knew a lot about this topic, plus she's super unemotional generally, so I asked her all the questions that were still open for me, and she answered everything to her best knowledge. I now try to give that knowledge to others. E.g. I just played part of this video next to my conservative and VERY biased, but luckily also curious dad, and he watched a few minutes and asked some questions, and then I showed him the first clip with that huge guy. After I explained that the guy was trans, my dad was like "Taking testosterone gives you a beard?" and I said "Yes, the guy in the video (I meant Jamie) is also trans". My dad asked "But he doesn't have a penis, right?", and I said "Yes, he does. He had bottom surgery." My dad then left the room to do something else, but the impression will stay.
@@callmeaspen3868 all trans people are valid and beautiful. And no one should ever tell you you are not. You aren't any less of a person and I wish to be a safe space for any of the trans people in my life
I love the last video. The way she said, “I see, & I apologize” was so respectful. Some of the hardest things to genuinely say are, I’m sorry, I don’t know, & you’re right, and she did all 3
I am not trans but I found I this so insightful and wholesome. There’s always learning to do as an ally. It’s important to me to be an understanding person
My mom’s a tiny bit transphobic. I think it’s just because she’s ignorant but she’s been getting better :) she bought me a binder and is gonna get my brother on T soon, a day or two ago she asked me what gender dysphoria felt like so I told her it was like a mixture of depression and ocd (for me specifically) and she offered to cut my hair more. Before that she thought that gender dysphoria was just over dramatic, she thought it wasn’t a big deal but I’m glad she’s starting to get better abt it :D
Same, my mom didn't really understand until she heard me describe how it feels once, how the dysphoria makes it to where I wish I could just tear at my flesh until my brain stopped sending me signals of "wrong". (Recently it's made it to where I just want to crawl out of my own body.) Ever since then, she's even gotten into it with unsupportive parents and grandparents she overhears or that starting complaining to her, trying to defend the trans community, and recently in her one group that's for women to vent about their lives without worry of their male family/friends/etc hearing about it, the question was asked by someone else if their trans kid could join (they're transmasc from my understanding) to have someplace like everyone else there does. My mom was also curious as she felt it could be a good place for me too, and the group has said they'd be welcoming. (So far I haven't been invited, and if I did join it would be mainly to help educate when there are riffs or arguments/misunderstandings when the topic of trans people comes up. I am nonbinary though, so sometimes I do fall under the category of "woman" so it's not like I'm intruding in a space.) Well, apparently the one day an argument happened in the comments regarding that topic and now my mom has seen a little of what trans folks face. Made her really mad.
I love being openly trans, it's so rewarding in the most obscure ways. Just recently a coworker of mine came out to the trans guy I work with and specifically mentioned me "I'm like her" and the trans guy was like "Same, only in reverse" 😂 Honestly you'd never know who's trans or isn't unless they're in their baby trans phase and even then it's not obvious. Be yourselves and love yourselves and everything else with handle itself. ❤
On the note of neutral menstrual products, Glad Rags openly states that their cloth pads are for folks of any gender - one of their stickers literally says something along the lines of “Periods Have No Gender”
Fiends of my parents introduced us to their lovely old neighbour, she transitioned at 65, about 10 years ago while working as a firefighter, her stories of her very masculine coworkers immediately accepting her always warm my heart
That last clip is so heartwarming because not only did it represent a hugely marginalised group in a positive way but it showed a person from outside the group receiving information from a person in that group, taking it in and acknowedging the information, apologising for any offence caused and changing their opinion. Respectful conversations for the win!
14:15 One of the saddest things I see online is comments under the posts of older trans people by younger/early transition people of "we're allowed to get old 😭"
My reason for being very under the radar as a trans parent (44yr old agender) in Texas is the same one I’ve heard from other trans parents in our online enclaves. Protecting my child. But next year when they turn 18 my visibility is going to change. It’s something I’ve hated doing; it’s felt like betraying my community hiding and safe while so many suffer, but when it comes to my child there really isn’t a line I’ll cross
Trans Tiktok can be so wholesomely heartbreaking sometimes. Saw an interview with an older trans man from like an Amazon Documentary and it was just full of people so shocked in the best way possible saying "We can grow old?! " or "He did we can too" Hit me right in my Cissy lil heart it did
Dude, there are even old folks homes specializing in trans people. (And now that we've thought of it, that kind of helpless could be a real horror show. Can't not be partly a downer.)
Im a 45 year old trans man and I wish there were more of us on social media. It's hard to find because once they transition they delete their channels and go stealth.
Many do but not all. There is also battle fatigue. My trans mentor was a guy in his late 30's. He'd been heavily involved in queer rights for over a decade and a half doing advocacy, activism, social work, fundraising, you name it. I asked him why he'd gone low profile and largely stealth. Basically his pared down answer was exhaustion. He had fought so many battles for so long that he burned out. He just wanted to live his own life and not have to be "the trans guy" anymore. I'm only 3 years into transition at age 48 and I'm starting to understand that. Being an out trans person, plus an activist can be greuling. Another 10 years am I still going to be mentally able to be constantly out and carrying signs at protests? I don't know. If at some point I tap out and opt for more behind the scenes support I hope that the next generation understands that I did what I could as long as I could. Burn out on activism of all sorts is a real issue.
I can only imagine how hard it all can be. In my mid-30s and only realizing my identity. Haven't come out. All I can hope is no matter where I end up that I can continue to be supportive in the comments for the community. I hope that's helpful to others, but it isn't as grueling as being an activist in real life.
I am 54 and genderqueer. Have thought about transitioning but seems like a lot of work and am kind of ok with my current situation. But I am so proud of you and we can be friends if you like. ❤️
Older generations are just not as comfortable in general at being on social media. I think we’re just more private overall. My privacy is extremely sacred, and have no desire to share my life with the world indiscriminately. But I think you could find support groups offline.
I feel a good way to combat that burnout would be to help ensure the next generation or person coming in to pick up the baton you set down would likely help ease you when that day does come for you to tap out, for me it comes and goes and I'm only 21, and been fighting the fight since I realized I was trans at 17, 2 weeks before my 18th birthday. My much younger sibling is just as invested in the fight as I am when I have it in me to fight, even when I don't have it I pour my activism into my writing (not an author yet) in hope my stories can educate or help bring about conversation about the topics I'm passionate about, potentially even positive change (child abuse, abuse, sexual assault and abuse, trans and queer rights, human rights in general, holding governments accountable, etc.)@@CorwinFound
I'm in my early 50's. I literally grew up around Trans folks as a baby & kid in the 70's & 80's. In the small town world here in the PNW of the USA. I'm Gay myself & in the 90's I was stunned at how uneducated my own community was about Trans folks. So that was my first experience at being a peer educator. Jamie, I'm a massive fan of your work and education. The influence you have is world wide and will out live the Evil Writer Who Shall Not Be Named. LOL. So thank you, you and Shaba are a treasure.
I'm a 14 y/o trans man and I've been identifying as so for over 3 years now. I know my parents are strong in their beliefs and incredibly transphobic, and just knowing I won't be able to transition until I'm 18 crushes me. The whole "regretting it" is such bullshit regarding medically transitioning because I'm stealth at my school with most kids believing I'm a cis guy, and I've never been happier. This is the first time in my life I've felt genuinely happy social-wise at school.
Nothing puts me in a better mood than seeing trans people being supported and living their best lives. Perfect buffer for the coming holiday function stress.
Family can be a lot. Here's to hoping everyone has supportive, or at the least ignorant, but willing to learn families. If not, remember, the full saying is "the blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb." The family you choose can be more than the one you are born with. You are valid, and deserve love. Stay safe out there. 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵🦖🦕
1 day early, but close enough. I also want to say thanks to You, Click and OT as you have broken my egg and I’ve realised I’m likely Transfemme. I’ve only really come out to one person (at midnight last night no less, my sleep schedule is not great), and I may never fully come out to my family due to my severe anxiety around confrontation (even though I know they’ll be supportive). I’m gonna start voice training soon and once I’ve got a voice I can stand listening to, I’ll go from there. 😅 TLDR; Egg Broken, what do I do now AAAAAAAAAAAA.
About the older lady saying to the Aboriginal trans people: "Well, I apologize. Now I understand." It strikes me as such a wholesome and simple way to respond when you are corrected about something. She thought a certain way and spoke from that thinking, was corrected, apologized and acknowledged that she now understood more/better. It seems like such a simple thing but is so difficult for so many people to do, especially about anything to do with trans people. I say this while acknowledging that we all sometimes struggle with reacting appropriately to our beliefs or ideas being corrected, no matter what the subject.
I wish I'd known what being trans was as a kid. I used to cry myself to sleep, praying to god that I'd wake up as a boy. No wonder I'm an atheist now, honestly. Now I'm 40 and even in my sad, isolated life, it feels like such a burden to deal with transitioning at this point. I don't know what to do. But it brings me so much joy to see the younger generations being their true selves. 💖
If socially &/or medically transitioning would be safe for you (and HRT is accessible where you live), you may want to consider going for it. You can always stop if you don’t like how it makes you feel or if unforeseen outside circumstances happen. A few years ago, in my early 30’s, I started to socially transition and began on low-dose T. I wanted to try HRT without feeling like I was ‘fully committing’ since I was very worried about how my family would react and afraid of losing the relative safety of “looking cisgender”. Starting T was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve dealt with depression (MDD) & su¡cida| ideation for over 20 years and while I still do, the unceasing hopelessness has slowly lifted. My new ‘depression lows’ are still rough but not nearly as bad as they were pre-T. I regret not coming out earlier but I can’t go back in time… I can do what’s in my power to make living more bearable for the rest of my time in this meat-body TL;DR: it’s not too late to socially &/or medically transition
Hey, Brother, I started at 42. That's 23 years of living my life on my terms, and it has been great. Worth the wait, and you get to be an old man instead of an old woman. But a lot of people have lived their lives quietly inside their own heads, and it can be done creatively and with dignity. Whatever you decide to do, accept it and do it well - no more crying yourself to sleep, my friend. No matter what you do, you still wake up a boy every day. (Excuse the lecture. Old guys sound like that sometimes.) Best wishes.
on another note. I say it's never too late to start transitioning. I mean for me. People say I'm still young(20) and haven't lost a lot of my life. However, the dysphoria was so crippling for the first 17 years of my life that I never really lived or was able to have fun or appreciate my life. Life gets a lot better when you pursue the person you are
@@Just_One_TreeI'm glad you were comfortable enough to share. I think we all tend to regret not coming out earlier. Although, I know that if I did, I likely wouldn't have been safe. The struggles are real. Transitioning actually lessened my anxiety and depression by a large amount. The only thing it didn't make better was my sensory issues, but overall it's a quality of life thing.
Transmasc nb person here. Honestly they just need to be solid color. Even just white will do. Text? Directions only. It's just gonna go straight into the trash anyway.
Also a cis woman, and I recommend reusable pads. Not only are they better environmentally, but they come in so many different prints and colours that work for all genders. Granted, I have a lot of rather girly ones, but that’s because I think they’re cute! It’s good that it’s a choice. :)
@@tilltab, I have a shark pad (hilarious), and a bunch of Halloween pads like zombies (bc also makes me smile). I've never chosen pink or floral, and it was embarrassing that the options for standard products are all marked that way. Even the first mass produced menstrual cup, the"Diva" cup was very floral, pink, and purple, marketing.
Period cups, even better (if they work for you)! Love the reusable pads too though, I have black ones just for simplicity's sake, so there's definitely all styles.
currently two weeks into recovery from top surgery and watching your videos has been such a privilege during these last two weeks. so i just want to thank you, jamie, for creating such a wholesome environment. im so happy that i stumbled into your channel so many years ago. so thank you for being so amazing!
I'm in that phase of my life where I think I'm actually not Trans because it's better to be sure than risk it with a transphobic family, I'm honestly not sure what I am anymore but these transitions videos make me proud of you all, you all did your best to look like how you truly feel besides of what society and close ones might think
Sounds like it could be imposter syndrome. It might help if you find out if there are local LGBTQ+ support groups and get in contact with them. There are resources available online as well. Nobody else can tell you who you are. Only you can know that for sure.
It's OK to stay in the closet if you're not safe. It's OK to wait until you're sure of what you want. It's OK, to not physically transition. You are valid.
No matter what, you are absolutely welcome in the community! It takes a lot of time to find yourself, and I think most of us go back and forth before we fully figure anything out! As long as you focus on being kind and safe, I believe you will find yourself! No need to push or rush anything! Having the courage to question things and look at yourself in a new light is amazing! You don't need to be lgbtq+ to go thru self reflection! We are proud of you, too!
I do wish there was more representation for us pre op trans folx. I cant afford top surgery or bottom surgery, I have dysphoria, and men like me are often invisible. I think cis people are more comfortable with us if we pass, and I wish we could be respected at all steps of our transition
I came out in a very rural conservative town in Texas, and it was terrifying. The guy we lived with would out me to every friend he invited without my permission and threatened to shoot me, almost ran me over, and I had nowhere else to go. As trans folx we have so many in our community who are struggling for representation and awareness
I feel like in addition to those for whom it's a comfort thing, there are also those who don't understand that trans individuals who don't go for all the medical options are still trans (whether pre-op or non-op). My partner is on HRT (obviously also not necessary to be trans), but is choosing not to get bottom or top surgery. Probably just a tracheal shave and maybe some facial surgery. She had a (cis gay) therapist who didn't believe she was "actually trans" bc she doesn't want to get bottom surgery. Like, wtf? The therapist wasn't even old. We're in a very liberal major metropolitan area, but it took f*ing forever to find my partner a trans therapist. Saying that if a trans person doesn't take x, y, z steps it means they aren't actually trans, is like saying that if someone like me who has bipolar disorder doesn't go to therapy and go/stay on meds then they aren't bipolar. To be clear I'm not trying to imply being trans is a mental illness. Just that if you have something that causes discomfort/difficulty (like dysphoria) not handling it in a specific way doesn't mean the issue suddenly doesn't exist. Whether it's bc you don't have the resources, or bc you choose not to take a certain route, it doesn't change the fact that it's there.
And the same time they talking about regreting surgeries, and hormone treatment... Not realizing a big percent of the reason people feel need go through it is to be seen by others a they are..
And even when you've medically transitioned (if that's what you want), you still get crap if you're not gender conforming. I'm a 37 yo trans man, been fully transitioned for years, but I'm not typically masculine or feminine in my presentation or mannerisms. I've always been a "little column A, little column B" kind of guy. I even grew out a half-goatee just to make it easier for people. Otherwise, a lot of people seem to panic trying to figure out my gender.
I always look forward to your videos. They uplift me. I am an older trans man and in the military. Last week I just came out at work and have started the process for transitioning in the military. All week I have been so wired and anxious. I am just now able to sit still and of course this vid was awesome to watch. Thank you and love you and Shaba!❤
My nephew knew he has Trans at two! He socially Transitioned early in school and I'm so proud to have played a small role {I noticed first and helped his parents understand and become more comfortable with the change}. I live in a body I hate due to disability/illness, my experience has helped given me a greater understanding than most and I'm honoured to be an ally to my nephew and others in my life. Trans people know who they are in ways so many don't. We can learn so much. Be kind, be open, it's sad that it's rare but the world is hard enough. ✌
Okay, I'm thinking a lot of cisgender women would probably prefer a more gender-neutral feminine product line as well. Not everyone wants heavily scented or "overly feminine" products. Any more than I want the heavily-gendered "masculine" ones of whatever kind.
Cis gay woman here... I hate pink and having all the flowery pink stuff (luckily I can't do scents, so I don't have to have lilac scent in the downstairs haha)! It screams YOU ARE A WOMAN AND THEREFORE YOU MUST LIKE FLOWERY PINK THINGS! Luckily I'm at an age I don't need them much anymore... but that was 40 years of dealing with that.
Yeah, I’m not exactly a guy, I have girl equipment, and I'd buy "masculine hygiene products" or even just pads minus the pointless gendering. It serves no real purpose and I hate it.
@@katanah3195 I use my husband's body wash because it's there and I don't see the point of having two enormous bottles of body wash in the shower when it's just liquid soap.
I think that goes for lots of things. My coworker is a cis, straight woman. She had a baby a few years ago and the whole maternity experience was just SO gendered, to the point where it made her uncomfortable. It was all super feminine, calling them 'ladies' etc. She's cis/straight but not particularly feminine and she hated it.
Thanks for realising this near Xmas Jamie! I was on Santa duty (putting out presents late at night) as the oldest “sister” (I’m trans but closeted) in a Christian family, so this video was a nice way to pass time 😊 Wishing you, Shaaba and the cats a merry Xmas! 🎄
I’m a trans boy and when I was a kid I thought that your gender was how long your hair was. I dressed my cis little brother in my dresses and still saw him as a boy because he had short hair. Now I have short hair and my younger self would be so happy to know I’m finally a real boy.
11:19 omg i remember my sister INSISTED that boys don't have eyelashes, and I was like "... I just saw our dad with eyelashes last weekend what are you talking about???"
It's hard to get through life without regret. The possibility of regretting something isn't usually that great a reason not to do something. It just keeps you in fear. And then you regret not doing things. Same with childfree. People talk about how you'll regret not having kids but no one talks about what if you regret having them. Follow your happiness and if you regret something later, you'll manage. You'll deal with it. That's just life.
Nice to "meet you". I'm so old I still carry a handkerchief just like your grandfathers did. So tear up if you like, Lillian - we're prepared. PS - I'm in a small town in the SF Bay Area, and there are so many "Older and Out", "Lavender Seniors", etc, groups I had to choose which to join. Cheers.
@@intercat4907Proud mom to trans ftm teen here. Also in SF. Bay Area, Marin Co. At 52 I carry a handkerchief at all times😂. So thankful for our lavender seniors🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈😘
On the topic of older generation visibility/invisibility and existence/acceptance. My former neighbour is in her seventies, a trans woman, her hobbies include playing with very large power tools, and she and the gentleman of similar age in the same street are always sharing disastrous DIY projects. None of them should be in possession of any power tools or beer. Her transition happened about twenty years ago and they all knew her before and during. Didn’t seem to cause any problems for anyone, just a bit of excitement for a while before they collectively went back to building something stupid and wondering who had the angle grinder last. There are large segments of the older population who are far less bothered than the media would have us believe.
19:30, I’m gender-fluid and I wish I could do that! Unfortunately I’m AFAB and apparently a person with breasts isn’t allowed to be without a top (it’s really stupid imo, like it’s literally just a larger version of a man’s chest?! Why does them being rounder mean suddenly they need to be covered??)
I realize this is off-topic but it just occurred to me. I'm not trans but I've got surgery scars that would be very obvious (including one that would make people think someone had tried to slit my throat). They're almost invisible and, most of all, they don't "pull" when I move because I used a couple of products: Mederma and CBD cream. So people about to have top surgery might try them. Actually, I think Mederma is supposed to work on older scars too. Happy Holidays from someone stuck in bed with Covid!
Is your throat one from thyroid surgery? I just had mine removed in October and they had to use an extra long incision so right now it looks like someone tried to off me. Anyway I’m looking for something to help that scar disappear so thank you for this suggestion!
@@xliploverx Mine was to remove benign parathyroid tumors but since they're located behind the thyroid, it's the same scar. Do try Mederma; my scar is invisible even to me. When I had knee replacement I used CBD cream instead and although the scar is visible, it's much less than some other people's that I've seen. So if you can get both products, I'd use them. Years ago, before either of these products were available, my brother burned his hand badly and used gel from an aloe plant, breaking off a bit of the plant each day. It was also quite effective; the scars are there but he has full use of his hand.
I think in that last tiktok where the lady was saying "I get whiskers on my chin and have to pluck them out with tweezers, because that's what women do" she was trying to be supportive, if in a very clumsy way. To me, it sounded like she was saying "You having facial hair doesn't prevent me from seeing you as women, because I also have facial hair as a woman". Even if she was implying that they should still work to not have facial hair (which they don't I love the lady who said "it's decorative"), to me she still sounded supportive and accepting even before they corrected her
I was at an LGBTQ event a few weeks ago and a guy made a pass at me. That's nice. So I ID'd as trans, and he had no idea what that meant. So does that count as "didn't spot me"? Or do we put the little lost lambs in a separate box? (Quietly edited: Y'all offended by this story, please talk among yourselves. I am 2 generations older than most of you and thought it was polite to answer when someone addresses you. I am, however, feeling as though I am talking to the backs of mirrors. The story stands and I will not answer any more comments.)
It all depends on how he feels after he understands. I believe that if they don't get upset there's hope, some people are willing to learn and try if given the chance
@@brixzereg Uh, no, I didn't kick the puppy. But that kind of ignorance is stunning, and doesn't speak to "trying" anything. Please tell me you either read the news or watch RU-vid.
@@intercat4907 the news is depressing, you obviously didn't appreciate the attention, but not sure if the dude was truly ignorant or bad at flirting. I feel that ignorance should be treated with knowledge, I know a woman who thought trans was just men in dresses, not even hateful just ignorant.
Re comments at 7:35, I was watching tv with my father when I was about 12/13. Renee Richards was playing tennis and the commentator mentioned she had transitioned. My father wondered why she couldn't have stayed as they were. I went from elation, having heard I could transition, to disappointment in under half a minute. 37 years later (in 2015) I started transitioning and hoping will finish in the next year. If I'd have come out then, at that age, I'd have been sectioned. If you can transition safely, with support then go for it.
Yes, Sarah! I have been pounding the table for years over the hysterics over "men ruining women's sports". We went through the same hysterics in the '70's. It was all over the headlines. You are the first person since this phobic wave started who has known Richards' name. People who want to rule the world have the attention span of goldfish. Back on the point, in addition to congratulating you on your brain, I want to congratulate you on making all the right connections. Best wishes for your future happiness.
Yessss I'm a trans masc minor and I play tennis and she made me realize I could still play tennis while being trans even with my family says I can't. Congratulations on your transition!! Best wishes to you :)
@@intercat4907 I'm in my 20s and cis but got to know about Renee this year from the You're Wrong About podcast. Crazy how conservative panics just keep repeating every so often
@@ActuallyAnanya Oh, the conservatives aren't even creative in their manufactured panics. The sh1t the that the anti-trans bigots are squirting at trans people _is the same thing they were spraying_ at me, [cis] Internet Uncle-Gay 🏳🌈, and other gay men back in the 1990s, just with some of the words changed. They're attacking trans men and women using pseudoscience, a childish-pop-sci-misunderstanding of genetics, Homophobia, and Misogyny all standing on each others shoulders while wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora claiming to be 'bAsIc-BiOlOgY' as their justification. And _they're doing it because they can't get away with shouting, "D1e, F@gg0t!" at gay men like me_ quite so easily anymore. So instead, as a way of making it possible to attack _me_ again, they're attacking trans people.
I appreciate your trans positivity content so much, Jamie. It is so, so needed for us in this time of hate and fear. Instantly lowers my blood pressure when I see there's a new Jammidodger-reacting-to-positive-trans-content video. Thank you always. 🙏💞
I use the excuse that I had low testosterone when growing up. Which does affect the voice, height, and size of the phallus, which are all problems that I have. It is the truth, I did have low testosterone as a child, except I was assigned female, and my body grew up with the appropriate hormone levels for a feminine body. It works very well for me... sorta most of the time, it is a shower thought.
16:02 fun little thing for trans people that struggle, there is such a thing as period underwear, there is stigma around it as people are like “ew underwear that holds your blood! Gross!” But it’s perfectly fine, it’s designed to hold heavy periods, it comes in the colour black, and they are perfect, at least here in Australia you can find them in the hygiene section but you can find them online It’s a great purchase that has helped my dysphoria, and you can clean them in a washing machine just like any other clothes at the same time as the other clothes, I’ve been using them for years now and they are perfect, they last a very long time and have gotten me through hard times They are also great if you spotting/have random periods, you can wear the underwear everyday as normal underwear and don’t have to worry about bleed through normal underwear or pants, it’s saved me a lot of times❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m nearly 30 and am on my first week of T. Looking back to my teen years and early 20s I see so much pain that I didn’t even fully acknowledge at the time, and that could have been avoided. I could have led a much different life up to this point if only I had had the language, understanding and support to transition at that age. So I feel so happy for the kids who have what I didn’t have, and who are able to not only seize the opportunity to live their best lives from the off, but also to be confident in themselves and speak up against hate. They inspire me.
When I came out as nonbinary trans masc I got my period for 6.5 weeks straight. I wanted to curl up and stop existing. I felt so betrayed by my body. I am now coming up on 2 years post hysto and almost2 years on T and despite the crap going on in the world and being unemployed for almost a year, I am happier with myself than I ever was before. The first trans person I met was when I was ~20 and the first trans masc person I met (that I knew about) wasn’t until I was over 30. You were one of the first trans masc RU-vidrs I found when I was seeking comfort that things would be okay. Merry (happy) Christmas to you and Shaaba ❤️💚❤️💚
Im a 42 yo transwoman and a parent, but I've only been in transition for 2 1/2-3 years or so. Best part is my daughter calls me Mum and her actual mother by her first name so I still can say I did something right. 🤣
Hey, I went (seamlessly) from being "Mom" to being "Dad". Until a better term comes along, I refer to my ex as the kids' "bio-dad", which is nice and short, respects my ex's identity, and leaves people so busy guessing that I can wander off if I don't want a longer convo. BTW, congrats, "Mum".
I was calling both parents by first name until I was 5 and started copying "mom and dad" from other kids at school. When the one formerly known as "dad" came out as a trans woman, I went back to calling them both by first name, though if I'm talking to someone I don't know I'll mention "my mom" and which one I mean depends which one is more relevant to the conversation. I came back to my roots. Congratulations btw!
@@sarahs1405 My daughter and I both have our reasons for hating her guts so neither of us care if she's ok with it or not. She did a lot of damage to us. 😥
In our cree culture we have two spirit people meaning we have both the spirit of a man and a woman. We are sacred in our communities and considered powerful healers✨🖤 amazing vid jammiii lov ur content as always
I am todya years old when I realized Jammi is a trans man! Had no idea just thought he was very educated and supportive of trans community! 😅 beautiful to see 🎉 glad to subscribe ❤ keep up the beautiful work
