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Hey all! Just FYI: This video is under review for a copyright claim dispute with Hallmark. Right now it's unblocked so it's viewable, but it's not monetized and there's a chance it could get denied and go back to being blocked, so if it randomly disappears, that's why. Hopefully it gets released though. Happy Holidays!
Copyright strikes are completely broken. You should cheer yourself up by watching Pottersville on Netflix. General Zod accidentally sets off a Bigfoot craze in his diminishing small town during Xmas season. Co-starring Ron Perlman, Christina Hendricks, Judy Greer, and Ian McShane. It is a combination of It's A Wonderful Life and Jaws, featuring a shockingly accurate reenactment of the Christian Bale Terminator Salvation meltdown! It also has Ron Perlman trying to explain being a furry. It's bonkers in the best way possible.
Pardon... I was miles way... thinking about the Kapoo Snow Thrower, 18 Inch Electric Snow Blower with180° Rotatable Chute and Overload Protection... what were you saying?
12:15 I like to imagine there's an unseen sub-plot where the angel is constantly taunting Derek with hallucination-like experiences. That's why he gets so uncomfortable by it and just ran away mid explanation.
-Constantly harasses her in person and by text for dates -Straight up declares he's not taking "No" for an answer "My last girlfriend Anna, she said that she would rather be alone than be with me." "Big red flags! Get your big red flags here! Can't celebrate Christmas without BIG RED FLAAAAGS!"
@Ronkyort0dox anyone single with a decent job cannot be turned down by people that are aging? Damn, what a sign of utter desperation if that'd the bar you want to be standard.
Let me see if I have this correct: Mabel McNut's ghost is trapped in this statue and used ghost magic to bring her great grandson together with the great granddaughter of a man she kind of dated for a little while? This is pure insanity.
My interpretation is that Susan's great-grandfather imbued his statue with all of his obsessed infatuation. But because his emotions were unrequited, the statue gained a sort of sentience. Now the statue is forever tasked (or cursed?) with getting Great-grandfather and his descendants hooked up with the person who will return their love/infatuation. But now that Susan has been matched with a descendant of "Jessica Rose," perhaps the curse is finally broken and that statue can return to its former, pain-free existence.
I don’t have a cursed Christmas statue but I do have a skeleton octopus that I left out one year after Halloween and my then 4 year old decorated it with ornaments and it’s now become our family tradition to leave him out during Christmas to be decorated in holiday cheer. I love him so much now
We have a skeleton dog named Dog who just permanently lives in our living room and gets decorated for all holidays and birthdays. He's excellent, I don't know why everyone doesn't do this.
The guy insulting someone for being a male model looks more like a male model than the guy he's calling a male model. They had their script. Then the cast the roles. Then they were just like.... yeah we're not rewriting any of this.
It's also a really bad sign when a guy you've been steadily dating (at his insistence) for a few weeks sees you look *visibly uncomfortable* when another guy comes up and talks to you, and then he concludes that guy is competition and starts lobbing baseless insults at him. Almost like the guy who pestered her relentlessly for a date is unhealthily clingy and possessive.
I'm disappointed Brady and Derek didn't end up together by the end. This scene could've been a perfect segue to start their romance. "You think I look like a male model? Wanna get a cup of coffee and see where it goes?" And then Derek tries the Christmas blend and smiles toward the camera. ;-) I kid, but seriously, it would have been a better romance than the cloying angel story.
Derek used to be married to a gorgeous Cylon 150 thousand years ago so perhaps anyone else he wants to date thereafter is going to be less than perfect & a notch down, hence maybe why the uppity attitude.
@@incredibleflameboy ... "That's Luke Evans who has literally worked in modeling positions for Versace, GQ and esquire. That joke kind of falls flat." ... Are you talking about Derek? No, that's Tahmoh Penikett, of reimagined Battlestar Galactica fame (2003-2009).
So according to Imdb, Ron Oliver the director has of the highest ranked Christmas movies on Hallmark (Christmas at the Plaza was quite good) and his work on Are You Afraid Of The Dark back in the 1990s (17 episodes) is considered one of "Top Ten Most Frightening TV Shows" ever made. Oh and his mother claims she went into labor with him at a drive-in while watching Psycho with contractions beginning during the shower scene
Oliver also wrote the splendid and very self-aware horror film Prom Night 2: Hello, Mary Lou and its follow-up. I think Angel's odd tone is very, very deliberate.
So, if the angel falls over when she's talking to the guy she doesn't like, it's a sign that she shouldn't go out with him, but if it falls over when she's talking to the guy she does like, it's a sign that she should go out with him?
Not a Christmas STATUE horror story per se, but when I was much younger (maybe 7 or 8) my dad rented a reindeer mascot-style costume and had one of our family members wear it pretending to be Rudolph on Christmas Eve. When all that whimsy and wonder was over they put the costume into the family van for safekeeping away from us kids. Fast forward a couple hours and my father asks me to go out to the van and get a present that we had forgotten out there. Pretty sure I should have been on soccer team that year with how fast I ran screaming back into the house.
12:41 "If you and Brady are supposed to be together, it may already be out of your hands!" Wow. That line totally belonged in the horror movie promo cut.
I actually have a cursed Christmas angel story. When I was 5 or so we kept all our Christmas stuff in the basement and one day my mom ran upstairs with our angel tree topper, tears of rage streaming down her face. The angel had been knocked over and half the head cracked off (idr the details but it had sentimental value to her). I swore up and down that I didn't do it but I think I'd recently broken something else in the house and lied about it so my mom didn't believe me. When she finally calmed down and investigated further, she saw claw marks on the angel and realized our cat, Cinnamon, was to blame. She obviously felt really bad and apologized to me but she glued the thing's head back together and kept bringing it out, year after year. Even though I was cleared of all guilt, the memory is still a little traumatizing and every time I see that angel all Frankenstein'd back together I take a little psychic damage 🙈
Speaking of Christmas horror, The Santa Clause (1994) is a body horror movie. A man unwittingly puts on an enchanted suit and slowly morphs into Santa Claus while also losing the elements of his personality that made him him. Change my mind.
@@hotties3v3nCHRIST I FORGOT THAT MOVIE EXISTED. god damn no wonder body horror freaks me out so bad. i was always uncomfy watching The Santa Clause and just never really thought about it, but that’s definitely why
I am constantly distracted by the fact that the angel looks EXACTLY like the leading lady. I was absolutely sure it was going to become a plot point and I'm still trying to work it in somehow.
I noticed that too and the only thing I can think is that her father was groomed by the Christmas angel since he was a small boy and he went out and married a woman that looked as much like her as he could find, with the angel's help, thereby producing the daughter. When she and Brady have a little girl, the angel will finally have a human vessel to inhabit.
@@RevanAlaire Right? Before she started going over the plot, I thought the lead actress was going to be literally the Christmas angel statue come to life.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!! I thought the exact same thing. Why would they do that?! The actress is Brady's ancestor, not hers. Also, he didn't know his grandmother was on Broadway? Really? When they were researching her earlier, he should have known
Thought the plot twist would either be that Susan and Brady are related, or that the actress died before Great-Granddad could make his choice and her soul was trapped inside the angel for some twisted (probably Christmas-related) reason.
Your fake trailer was amazing! That had the perfect creepy vibe to match that weird ass Angel. I haven't seen an Angel that disturbing since Doctor Who.
Why would you try to woo a woman with a Christmas ornament!? Who does that? That bit with the cup is film-school class project subtle. Someone found that prop (or the original the prop was made from) and decided to base a story around it, didn't they? EDIT: I think I know the answer to my first question now. And that's a guy that thinks the woman he "loves" would give up her career on Broadway to live in a log cabin in some small town. EDIT EDIT: Okay, now I'm expecting the Winchester brothers to kick a door down, and grab the statue, and throw it in the fireplace as one of the nearly dies.
Hallmark Christmas horror might be my new favorite genre! This whole time we thought they were making consumer grade romance dramas, but maybe they're actually running a sleeper horror studio.
"Angel of Christmas--Angel of Death!" Love the horror movie trailer treatment. I think there are some other RU-vid channels that do trailers of movies as different genres, but I can't remember what they were.
Although not a cursed statue, my partners family does have a Santa Clause doll from the 40's that they put in a terrarium and bring out for Christmas. It sits in the dining room and I swear it steals a little bit of my soul each time I go over and lock eyes with it.
What's really funny is Derek is played by Tahmoh Penniket, who played an angel on the show Supernatural. This is adding a whole new level of hilarity to the wooden angel's reactions to him for me, personally.
I thought recognised him! Well, I know him as Helo from BSG, but those Canadian actors get around (particularly when the shows are both filmed in Vancouver).
So we actually had a tree topper my mom made similar to the ones that was in the store window in the show except it was wearing all white. Well one winter we have a chimney fire and while there was minimal fire damage, there was a ton of smoke damage. That is, except that angel. It remained perfectly white despite also being in the close proximity to the fire. It was crazy, and very cool
When you Google "can you dry clean a tie" this comes up: Absolutely, and honestly, dry cleaning is the best option for removing any stains. If the suit or bow tie is high quality it's probably made of fabrics and materials that do not respond well to water. Fabrics, such as silk, should always be dry cleaned
8:56 OK, well, *I just spit coffee* on a family portrait commission at this exact moment. Totally worth it. Immediately smashed the "like" button. I have no idea why I love your videos so much but I can't get enough. Just brilliant. Thank you for what you do, always, & merry Christmas.
I watched Christmas with the Kranks last night for the first time and the first half is almost a Christmas Stepford Wives as the neighbourhood tries to get Tim Allen into the "Christmas spirit".
@@cmmosher8035 Ever since I watched that movie, I wanted a horror movie about a Jewish family (or black family that celebrates Kwanza) that moves into a new neighborhood that's obsessed with Christmas. They have people breaking in to put up a tree, people throwing ornaments at them, people climbing down their chimney dressed as Santa, bunch of harassing stuff.
Fun fact, Bethlehem, Pa. is a real city in Pa! I went to school there. It is known as "the Christmas City" and features a massive star on the mountain over the city that is lit every night in winter and can be seen for miles around. It also features the longest continuously run bookshop in North America, formerly known as the Moravian Book Store. The story behind how the city got the name is also rather interesting. According to tradition, the Moravians had only built one building by the time of their first Christmas since moving from Germany to the colonies. In the bottom of that one building were all the animals and all the humans on the second floor. It reminded them of the first Christmas so they named their settlement Bethlehem. P.S. Love the Annabelle reedit at the end!
When that guy said he was from Bethlehem, I shouted "Fork off movie" to my screen, so I'm happy to learn the history of Bethlehem, Pa and that it's not just another Xmas cliche these Hallmark hacks came up with!
Thank you for sharing the info about Bethlehem, PA! Not from the other area so was very surprised at Bethlehem and many others which share the names of more notable counterparts.
So being Welsh I know there is also a small town in Wales UK called Bethlehem. It has a special postal system popular at Christmas where letters posted there are stamped as being from Bethlehem. BUT...the name Bethlehem exists because William Morgan translated the Bible into the Welsh language in 1588, and in doing so translated the Aramaic name for Christ's birthplace into Bethlehem. I guess then as more people heard the translation it became the definitive name used by the West for the birthplace of Jesus.
I just recently discovered your channel and I'm in love. Your content and hysterical commentary are everything my spooky and snarky heart needs right now. I've just been binge watching and laughing uncontrollably for the past 24 hrs. Thank you for existing.
This is everything I wanted to say and you said it perfectly! Been binging since before Xmas! Wait, we don't sound like this red flag/white coke paint stalker do we? 😆 Also, are his lines from fortune cookies? Because they sound like lines from fortune cookies...
You are a comic genius. "This box contains a laptop, which contains Google." Dying here 🤣 Nice touch in the editing at the end. That is a Christmas horror story I would want to watch.
And also that the article of a first time writer who begged for a trial run and sent it in last minute ends up as the front page, main headline? Ha! At best it would be bottom of page 53
Every time that happens I'm reminded of that Kent Brockman moment where he sidelined a story about the Vice Presidents mass murder spree for a fluff peace. I think it was about his daughters new doll or something. Maybe these small town newspapers are run on nepotism?
Merry Christmas, Roses, I got you a comment. "Make it make sense," was definitely your most insightful piece of snark, this movie has quite a few leaps in logic. Also, that trailer at the end was brilliant.
Either that or, for extra horror, the guy was a two-timer and the angel is trying to taint his bloodline by tricking his descendants into a romantic relationship with each-other.
There’s either two movies that start really similarly (honestly quite likely) or I just 100% blocked out that horrific angel. Like the coffee thing, story rejection, and then “oh, I have a sudden open spot” seem super familiar. Also as someone who is also almost always covered in paint, yeah usually you try not to do that at bougie events.
That spoof horror trailer though! I actually really want to see that made into a Christmas horror movie 😆 Guaranteed to perform better than the real movie
Oh my god. I just caught the end of this one on year, and I thought the message was that they were RELATED, and then they made out. I was so horrified.
I thought this movie was going to have a point where she turned into the creepy angel statue, it was terrifying enough on it’s own that it I’m glad it never happened. Hope you feature more hallmark movies in the future because your review on this one was really good, I especially liked the horror movie edit 😂. Happy holidays 🎄🎁
@@ddjsoyenby True even though I definitely like Their goofy Christmas Movies They definitely need to change The Formula every single Movie it's Two People fall in Love and try to pretend that They don't and usually get Married at The End ok for A while that can be interesting but They do need to try something different for once
My pitch is that the Christmas angel isn't making love matches, but forcing people together over generations to breed the perfect host for the antichrist
Kinda reminds me of a joke I saw in imgur/reddit/somewhere. A hallmark movie with a hard working lady going back to her small town from the big city, meeting a small town guy but plot twist he's the q shaman.
I have fell in love with your channel this last month... your cute intro and outro and your voice with the cute comments about the show itself I just love it. Great job!
The only thing that would have made that surprise at the end better than it already is would have been if you whispered "Be Not Afraid" right at the very end of the stinger. I laughed so hard I darn near hurt myself.
This was just what I needed this morning...my wife and I watch movies like these and have a running snarky commentary while doing so...made your video so fun to watch. Thanks!
Would have thought Hallmark would be grateful that someone had bothered to watch this film, let alone review it and give it some exposure! Love the horror trailer version, brilliant editing. I’d pay to see that movie. Especially if the angel offed Derek by scalding him with hot coffee and then strangling him with his tie! 😂
What a wonderful story to tell your son. SO your mum was my second choice. I really wanted this beautiful actress. I kept the angel I carved in her likeness. I'm sure Susan's grandma loved the angel in the likeness of the women her husband really wanted
Not 100% a cursed statue, but maybe cursed ornaments? I have a box of Christmas tree ornaments that I took with me when I left my parents' house. My parents gave me an ornament every year of my childhood with the goal of giving me that very collection when I grew up. Unfortunately, I have PTSD from growing up in my family, so the memories associated with those ornaments are ... a mixed bag, to say the least. My first Christmas away from the house of madness, I got myself a tiny little fake tree and a couple boxes of plain colored mini-baubles, along with a few cheap papier-mache animal ornaments, because all the "family ornaments" were sized for a full-scale tree. At the last minute, I realized I didn't have a topper, and I didn't really want to make an angel or a star since the church I grew up in was deeply hostile to my existence. So I went through my collection of cheap ornaments and found a little red papier-mache dragon whose wings stuck out behind his back like two sides of a clip. He slipped right onto the top of the tree and stuck there. I named him Smaug and decided the little tree was his pile of treasures. Now I put a red dragon on top of my tree every year. He is fire, he is death, and he wants you to turn on his twinkle lights!
I knew I'd seen the guy who played Derek before -- turns out he's Tahmoh Penikett, a Canadian actor who had a prominent role in the "Battlestar Galactica" remake, "Continuum" and "Trick 'r Treat." And now he's in Hallmark movies. But as someone who's lived in climes warmer than Chicago, I can confirm that in Manhattan, DC, Portland, etc. it is fully possible for it to be snowing constantly without a bit of it sticking or piling up -- the urban environment itself can be so warm that it prevents the snow from every really "taking". Granted, everything looks shiny & damp as a result (melted snow is water after all & doesn't just evaporate) but I do remember many a disappointing childhood winter in which a snow day LOOKED impending but was stymied by the fact that the city melted our dreams.
Great video as always. It would have been a better movie ending if, looking through the envelopes, they discovered they were related. If you really wanted to push the horror envelope, you could even make Brady be the one who was secretly cutting the lights and knocking over things that the angel was blamed for.
Despite how bad these movies are. You got to start somewhere. Hell there's some big actors who first appeared in bad movies or did them early in their careers.
"You could say I was touched by an angel" was that... was that a TV show reference? I'm willing to bet it was. (Touched by an Angel was the name of a TV show that ran in the 90s and early 2000s starring the iconic Della Reese and Roma Downey). 😁
"Gee, its good to be back home. I know I've had a rough time, but this is a chance for me to refocus and heal- really get my head around what I want and put all the things that happened into perspective. I've got a lot of work on myself to do, but some quiet will be good for me...." The entire town: "TIME TO GET MARRIED!!!!!"
I have a strong memory of a creepy ornament in our house that had Santa shoving a kid in a bag. My family insists they never had that ornament. I definitely remember that ornament in a Bernstein/Bernstain conundrum that will haunt me all my days
NO WAY! I REMEMBER THAT ORNAMENT TOO!!! Was it plastic or like old decorations made with some kind of clay/ceramic. Wasn't there an entire set of the bears Xmas ornaments?
@merchantfan I think I possibly found the source of nightmare fuel, but it looks like it's a figurine meant to go next to your Xmas decorations. The looks on the bears faces are terrifying, and it looks like Brother Bear is about to be dropped by dad before he gets the star on the tree. No matter what version of Mama Bear I saw, SHE'S SCARY AS HELL! I swear I know the ornament you are talking about...I can see it on my grandma's tree in my head! Or were having a lovely bear fueled Mandela effect lol
So funny story, my aunt used to have a very similar Angel statue she bought at an auction. Now I’m not much into the spiritual or belief in the supernatural, but that Angel sat in view of her home cameras, and you would see hundreds of these light orbs fly out of it at night if you watched the cameras. Eventually she got rid of it and you don’t see the weird orbs anymore. So I can buy the Christmas horror Angel in the film.
The angel didn't have sequins on it, did it? Glitter? Like that's spooky and all but never discount the possibility that the orbs were just lights reflecting off a surface you didn't think twice about.
No, it was ceramic Angel, but it wasn’t shiny paint nor did it have any sequins. Like I said, I’m not exactly a big believer in the supernatural or anything, it’s probably explainable, but it still looked weird.
Ive just started listening to Oh No Ross & Carrie, and this movie seriously sounds like the sort of thing they would land up going to a seminar about in real life. Haunted holy wooden christmas tree angels, its just so their thing
I've seen this one! So bad! I remember when the maker was trying to give the statue away and really did want him to answer "Because it's cursed, maybe a church can contain it."
lol so true, i remember when me and my boyfriend had both been working at microsoft just working on video game testing and my boyfriend's mom was like "well can't y'all just create an app and make a million dollars? i heard of another couple that did that."
I think I watched this movie as part of a completely unintentional trilogy of Christmas movies where it turned out someone was dead or an angel the whole time. I knew that was the premise of one of them, but not the other two.
I enjoyed the Sanitarium music during your fake trailer. That theme to the lost children chapter of Sanitarium is one of the absolute best pieces of music I've ever heard in a video game ever.
This was fantastic! The living angel reminded me of the Dr. Who episodes with the Weeping Angels (*shiver*). Maybe it snowing so much because the movie takes place in a snow globe. Ooh, I remembered there's a movie called Snowglobe! Maybe you could review that one!
Judging by the sentient angels if you told me this was a Doctor Who episode with the weeping angels I would have believed you, because they remind me so much of the Weeping Angels.
I kind of want to see you write a Hallmark movie now haha. Apparently Bruce Campbell is going to be in one and it would be great if it got covered on this channel at some point.
I think Roses would be great at writing Hallmark movies now. You can tell people who haven't actually watched a Hallmark movie from after like 2015 because they still think it's "bland white guy falls in love with white blonde woman who leaves her big city job to live on a Christmas tree farm." One of the actual Hallmark movies from this month was about how some gay men find it difficult to want to start a family because of how society has historically treated them. And some of the movies this year have legit been comedies. The genre of these movies has always been weird - they get called "romcoms" even though they're usually not that funny but "drama" seems too hardcore, but some of the movies this year have legitimately been romcoms - romance and comedy. I think anything Roses could come up with would fit right in with Hallmark's new direction that has infuriated Candace Cameron Bure so badly.
@@FrenkTheJoy I used to watch the Hallmark Channel's morning show. They were very gay-friendly. Candace really likes her Bible, even to the extent of allowing her husband to make all final decisions, cause he's the boss!