Is This a Legit Disorder or Just Bad Parenting?

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Is This a Legit Disorder or Just Bad Parenting?
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1 окт 2024

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Комментарии : 69

@strnglhld 2 года назад

Parents of kids with ODD, please don’t forget about your other kids who basically get traumatized by all they’re experiencing. My friend has a 14 year old ODD son who kicks and punches his 16 year old big sister. I’ve seen her with bruises and a black eye. For some reason, they treat this son by giving him whatever he wants and therapy but no therapy or gifts for the poor daughter. He rages for hours and calls everyone every name in the book. I happened to be over there and finally heard the girl defend herself: “leave me alone, a**hole!” Her single curse word was immediately reprimanded and she was grounded, while the sons’ fountain of profanity continued unimpeded.

@MsCristina38 2 года назад

Poor girl. I guess the parents are so overwhelmed with the son but still a shitty excuse not to help their daughter.

@christinebutler7630 2 года назад

That daughter is counting the days till she can go to college 3000 miles away and never come back. Hope those parents aren't counting on their daughter taking care of them. They aren't taking care.of her.

@strnglhld 2 года назад

@@christinebutler7630 It gets worse. Daughter has to clean his room, clean up after his meals, and do his laundry! They tried giving him chores but he raged so they stopped asking. They asked him another time but he said he had a runny nose, so when daughter speaks up now, mom says your brother has allergies he can’t! Even though daughter has allergies too. She’s vented for hours to me. The one time I sternly said her daughter is in danger and needs more support, she said I don’t know what it’s like to have a kid with ODD. True, but as a parent, the safety of all my kids is top priority. I even spoke to a former CPS case worker friend, because I can’t stand by while a person (no matter how old) is being abused in what should be their safe haven. She said they can’t do anything if the problem is being addressed so since he’s in counseling they can’t help. Dad told daughter that doing brother’s chores will prepare her to be a good wife one day. Let’s hope she doesn’t end up seeking a future partner who acts like her brother.

@blah7694 10 месяцев назад

@@strnglhldGood grief, I am astounded. That poor girl is being abused by everyone around her, I hope things are better a year later. I think I'd end up running away if I was her.

@shawn576 7 месяцев назад

1. ADHD and ODD are very real. It's absolutely debilitating. 2. Lots of people don't actually have ADHD or ODD; they just have bad parents. I know Dr Phil gets a lot of crap for being a TV person, but something he said always stuck with me - real medical problems do not change based on the people around you. If you have schizophrenia, it exists at all times and in all places. If you have diabetes, it exists at all times and in all places. If you have ADHD, it exists at all times and in all places. A person (not just kids) with ADHD will think and act like they have ADHD regardless of where they are or who they are with. If your kid is a monster at home but he seems like a perfect angel at his friend's house, that means it's not ADHD or ODD. It's you. He only does that with you because you are the problem. I see a lot of this with friends and family. They say their daughter has ADHD or ODD and she never listens, but she listens perfectly fine when I'm interacting with her. She responds to questions, she gives interesting perspectives when I ask her opinion on something. She seems like a totally normal kid who knows how to play her parents like a fiddle.

@rebeccaoprea9917 2 года назад

There’s a saying : when things are going well we take the credit , but when things go wrong , we blame others or something else .

@GoddessInTraining444 2 года назад

When my son was diagnosed I was told he is very smart and is going to do what he wants. He'll be a leader and have "minions". He is a great kid but do not get into an argument with him. I just pray when he takes over the world he spares his brother and I 🤣

@skyethebard 6 месяцев назад

Mom of DMDD 13yo, here. Lets hope our sons never meet *heh*

@elyse443 10 месяцев назад

So he’s literally calling in to get Delony to co-sign his pompous, judgemental attitude towards other parents who aren’t “good, Christian parents”? 😂 is he for real? The irony is in the long run that attitude will most likely affect his own “good Christian children.” Wow. Just wow!

@username9999 2 года назад

Until your child has ODD, I dont think you can fully understand it. I know I didn't. My child grew up with rules and consequences- suddenly nothing we did or said mattered. It wasn't for lack of following through. With ODD, the child's brain goes into fight or flight mode. They have something in their brain telling them "Fight for power!" Even routine things like get on shoes to leave the house, or wash hands after eating become a fight. Even fun things like "let's go to the park" or "let's go play outside" become a fight. It's heartbreaking to see someone who you love, who you know loves you treat you like an enemy. That's emotional disregulation and is different than the spoiled kid who has never been told "no."

@joycegault8935 2 года назад

As a parent of a 13 year old son who was finally diagnosed at age 9, I 100% agree. No one really understands until they themselves have a child with ODD. I wish people would stop blaming the parent. We have a routine that is followed, he does therapy, has meds, and we ourselves did PCIT to help. We do okay these days, but it's still difficult. He is starting to recognize his behavior and apologizes after he explodes, but I know it's not something he can stop before it gets to that point just yet.

@melissam7067 2 года назад

Thank you so much for sharing this.

@crispaycrunch 5 месяцев назад

Hahaha. That was me with my first child-“are all other parents stupid?”-2nd kid knocked that nonsense right out of me.

@aliciaballeza9592 5 месяцев назад

My god daughter was diagnosed with it and at three I watched her bruise herself when she went into a blackout rage. (We didn’t know what it was then). Her parents were buckling her in, and she was wanting to stay with me… I could not believe my eyes. About 10 minutes of it, she was pouring sweat, bruised from pushing so hard against the child’s car seat buckles, and had zero recollection of what had happened. I had another experience when she was 5 and broke a door to one of the bedrooms. It’s not because her good Christian parents didn’t whoop her enough or didn’t take her to church. It was unlike anything ever experienced.

@meganmiles4941 5 месяцев назад

It always astounds me how every "Christian " person I hear speak is ridiculously judgemental ,tend to your own yard sir

@mschopp1687 25 дней назад

Amen. The "good Christian parents" remark irritated me to my core, and it had nothing to do with his question.

@jenniferbrooks--planj5459 2 года назад

His first PhD??? 😮 I got one and whew!! 😫

@mse6135 2 года назад

What?! Dr. Delony likes Brand New!!?? I see that Science Fiction Album up on that shelf!! Nice!!🤩 Also, it definitely is over diagnosed. A speech therapist told me my son probably had ODD when he was 3. Which is pretty young to be diagnosed with such a thing. We did some research and made some changes including diet, screen time limits, and changing therapists. Looking back, I think he had a hard time engaging with the lady, she didn't meet him where he was at. She was intent on making him do exactly what she wanted him to do.

@ravenestrella2310 2 года назад

Thing is, too, speech therapists aren't trained or legally licensed to diagnose, and it was really unprofessional for them to say such a thing. Speech therapists only know how to help people improve their speech. They have absolutely no training in psychiatric disorders, whatsoever! The only people who are both trained to diagnose ODD and legally able to are actual medical doctors, preferably psychiatrists, as they specialize in psychiatric illnesses like ODD. My mom's a psychiatrist, so I have a pretty good understanding thanks to her of who can diagnose psychiatric illnesses, and speech therapists certainly aren't trained or legally licensed to do so. So, while you of course have a much better understanding of the situation than I do, and please know I'm not trying to rudely make assertions about a situation you are infinitely more familiar with than I am, but from everything you're telling me, it's not that your son was ever officially diagnosed. He was simply labelled as having ODD by an unprofessional speech therapist who overstepped their professional boundaries and labelled your son as having ODD because they didn't know how to work with your child professionally. I mean, even my mother as a psychiatrist never got me screened for ADHD (which I have) until I was four, because as any trained professional knows, you can't really tell if a child is exhibiting symptoms of an actual disorder until they're at least that old. Like I said, you know the situation far better than I do, and I'm not trying to rudely make assertions about your life or that if your son's, but it really sounds like what actually happened is that you got a speech therapist that just didn't know how to conduct themselves professionally and overstepped their bounds, not an actual diagnosis. Whatever happened, I'm sorry to hear your son had to go through it! I was once misdiagnosed, myself, and I know full well that it is hell to have to go through, figuring out what's actually going on!

@lilaworley8935 3 месяца назад

What a load of baloney you're pushing Have you ever heard that children that have ADHD and/or ODD will Mask behavior? Have you ever even heard of masking? People with these disorders can mask due to anxiety and they don't take the mask off until they are in their safe space or with the one or two people they know that love them unconditionally. If your child is dealing with a major social anxiety at school... And works hard to hold it all in all day.... They come home and melt down and take it out on those they are closest to. What you just wrote is a load of nonsense.

@rebeccaoprea9917 2 года назад

There’s no formula . You do the best you can with the knowledge you have . I have a son with odd.

@username9999 2 года назад

It's so hurtful to blame these things on the parent. John told me, "you just need to give your child rules." That was not the problem. Watching the DVD explosive child and reading "changeable" has helped. John tells his callers that their child's ADHD is their fault and "why do you think your child is 'broken?'" Like we are monsters for trying to understand and help our child.

@rebeccaoprea9917 2 года назад

@@username9999 I doubt he’s blaming but helping us take accountability and accept that there’s a struggling child .

@joycegault8935 2 года назад

My 13 year old also has ODD and an emotional disregulation disorder. He was diagnosed after several pych evals at the age of 9. Is really does suck that most people don't understand and just blame parenting as the problem. We as parents did PCIT and have him in therapy and we do everything we can to help him and us. We really dislike when people say, "You just need to whoop him". People don't get that doesn't help and in fact would make it worse. It's disheartening to hear people like this caller to blame it on "not being good Christian parents"

@aynia3262 2 года назад

Thank you Dr. Delony. This is a very good way of explaining it.

@jstorrer1 11 месяцев назад

My son was diagnosed ODD last year. It’s hard to comprehend the absolute disrespect that they put on any boundary that is put before them. The fight or flight response from my son, at any perceived slight, or telling him he can’t have friends over, turns into him stealing the keys and driving off in blind rage for hours. Nothing is their fault,ever. It’s emotionally draining beyond belief.

@marieroxylox1456 2 года назад

As someone who was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child and wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until I was an adult this hits home.

@beng4647 Год назад

I was diagnosed with ADD. But just realized I am dyslexic at 37....lol. I never understood why I couldn't spell but had an excellent vocabulary.

@alexatedw 2 года назад

I was diagnosed with ODD back in the 90s

@jcstuart6978 2 года назад

I thought the same thing when my first son born lol....

@meganparker8703 2 года назад

In my experience, “good Christian parents” produce the most defiant kids. Myself included when I was younger

@cathalhendron3941 22 дня назад

Most people involved with drugs, smoking, sex and crime from a young age didn't have good Christian parents so how do you explain that????

@Nayahpooh012 3 месяца назад

My partner’s child doesn’t have ODD, but there is speculation of him having ADHD or something similar and he’s been scheduled for an assessment because he can be very impulsive and misbehaved. His behavior regularly crosses the line of disrespect and impropriety and his father and other family (in my opinion) don’t do anything to correct his behavior in the moment. It’s extremely frustrating for me not being his biological parent because I don’t feel comfortable intervening. My approach is to just stay away from my partner when he has his child for the summer unless he’s by himself. I know that’s wrong, but it’s been incredibly beneficial to my peace and wellbeing not having to deal with a disrespectful ill-mannered child who doesn’t receive correction.

@skyethebard 6 месяцев назад

My 13yo son has DMDD. We have four sons and he is our third. While three of our sons have ADHD (so does my husband), our 13yo is the only one who has DMDD. I'm a SAHM, I offer counsel and hugs, I cook almost all of our meals, I fill in education gaps, I limit their screen time, etc. Our boys have had similar childhoods and yet it was clear to me, early on, that our now-13yo was neurodivergent so we got him the help he needed. Folks love to chalk it up to bad parenting instead of alternative wiring. If that were the case, wouldn't we see the same violent/angry behaviors in our other three kids?

@Shortkonner 2 месяца назад

Bro. It's real. Wow.

@bkucenski 2 года назад

Shepherds don't beat their sheep with the rod or staff. Stop wasting your life with chores. Spend time with your kids being creative. Take care of the house without whining about it. Stop pretending things that life requires we do have gender. In a world full of Martha's, be a Mary.

@funicon3689 6 месяцев назад

John lowkey destroyed him

@jamesbassett1484 7 месяцев назад

What about good Muslim parenting? What about good Phuddist parenting? What about plain old good parenting?

@shawn576 7 месяцев назад

You sort of need to read between the lines to understand what he is saying, especially in the context of this video. A core part of many religions is the idea that nothing is biological in nature; people are a certain way because they chose to be that way. As such, this means many conditions or behaviors can or should be treated with harsh punishments instead of medication and therapy (I would consider talking to church leaders as a legitimate type of therapy too). Even to this day, a lot of people refuse to acknowledge that autism is a biological problem. They believe if they just slap the kid enough times or lock the kid in their room enough times, the kid will magically stop being autistic and start acting normal. It's an extremely abusive way of thinking because it fails to account for biological factors that could be causing people to act a certain way. In the context of this video, the good Christian parent is trying to say that he believes ADHD and ODD are not real medical conditions for anyone. If his child displayed signs of those conditions, they would just be met with harsh punishments to mask the symptoms of the problem without addressing the underlying problem - lack of executive function in the brain. Their kid would be polite and well mannered, but they would still do terrible in school and struggle to hold meaningful employment.

@JAB2010 6 месяцев назад

@@shawn576that’s one of the big problems with religion

@chaundadon2612 4 месяца назад

@@shawn576love this comment, my mother was exactly like this, even as an adult that has gone thru therapy my mother still doesn’t acknowledge her behavior and how she disciplined me was wrong.. I went thru so many anger problems & other problems not fully understanding myself & not getting the help i desperately needed

@goodwolfproject6850 2 года назад

Chris, I’m curious what Brooks thinks of this. I know he’s a doctor in social psychology.

@jimroscovius 2 года назад

People need to stop giving everything a name and just plain grow up!! I believe it's an excuse, just like he said.

@ga6589 2 года назад

John said he believed ODD is over diagnosed, but it is a real thing with some kids. The caller agreed.

@jimroscovius 2 года назад

@@ga6589 It's an excuse to be bad. What they need is a knock upside the head.

@rebeccashields9626 2 года назад

I think it’s both. I have two kids and one is super easy going and the other is much more work. I can only imagine the spectrum goes much further than my kids. Also some people’s lives are too chaotic and also some people don’t have discipline. It’s both, to varying degrees much of the time. So sometimes it will be much more the kid and sometimes it will be much more the environment.

@jimroscovius 2 года назад

@@rebeccashields9626 Kids will be kids, and sometimes they misbehave. It's our duty, as parents, to discipline them when that happens. Too many parents do nothing, the schools do nothing, and the kids keep misbehaving.

@joycegault8935 2 года назад

@@jimroscovius So what do you do when you do all those things and the child still has these issues? Do you think ODD is fake? Because my son was diagnosed with it at age 9, now he's 13 along with a mood disregulation disorder. He tries to control it and he recognizes his emotional outbursts now after he explodes then he and apologizes. Should I discipline him anyway for raginging and losing it completely because putting on shoes to go to school sets him off or asking him to put the milk away after eating cereal sends him into a rage? Because it sure sounds like you are saying I'm still doing it all wrong.