Is this the most 'British' Empire Total War weapon? 

“It’s only a war crime if there are survivors”

Ahh, Spiff, putting the "casual" in "civilian casualties."

“The Welsh can have nothing as always” - I mean Spiff’s not wrong 😢

"Warcrime" is a word loaded with unfair criticism. I prefer "creativity in the context of international suggestions".

Me: How do I get rich in Empire: Total War? The Spiffing Brit: The secret ingredient is Crime.

Love the way he said:"Look at them doing a spin!".just the joy in his voice got me.

Aaaah yes, the city of lights, the beautiful Paris, and the two barracks that compose it. Splendid

"Hopefully the pathfinding AI will..." No, that's not how you want to start any sentence in an ETW siege battle.

Spiffing Brit is using the tactics he used in the Yugoslav-Wars

Things to expect on a SpiffingBrit video: 1 - Horribly broken EXPLOITS; 2 - Tea (more specifically, Yorkshire Tea); 3 - *MERCILESS DUNKING ON THE FRENCH.*

When you learn that artillery's different types of ammo has a "penalty" that can be off-set by holding alt when targetting and then targetting the ground about 1/3 of a unit's width to the side or behind to increase their accuracy, you will become a military strategic mastermind.

It's called "line battle" not "standing in front of someone battle" So getting shot in the back is their own fault

I just realised he did exactly what they did back then. Don't help the Americans and build a fantastic navy and make money out of it 🤣. Always enjoy and love Spiffs vids

"And the Welsh can have absolutely nothing as always" I'll be damned if that didnt make me laugh exceptionally loud.

"And if you disagree with me, you're just wrong" - most of the internet nowadays

After the tea rant I didn't think Spiff could get any more British but then he went and literally invaded France

Spiff: "We will be growing..." Us: "Tea!" Spiff: "Sugar!" Us: "uwotm8?!"

"The best weapon, is war crimes" The spiffing brit, 2021

"Come on Mortar crews, the enemy is right there!" "..is someone going to tell him that these are howitzers, not mortars?" "He just shot a man in the back for spilling tea." "Right, Mortars were are, then."

"Not only did I follow orders, I created some of my own along the way." -Spiffing Brit revealing his war criminal status to the masses

me, a french watcher: awesome, a new spiff video! spiff, barely a minute in: let's cyberbully the AI and most importantly the french me: **sweats nervously**

“Quebec has rebelled”. every Canadian has now gotten happier

It’s true that with Quicklime: Lime waits for no man…

“Now let’s drive into this sausage” The Spiffing Brit 2021

Never thought I'd see the day Spiff covers one of my fave games of all time

I love when Spiff makes new videos, I could listen to him talk for hours.

For an added chaotic experience in this game.. The Darthmod makes artillery even more evil... :D (ohh,, and all the effects are way cooler as well)

"It's an earlier Total War game, the pathfinding AI wasn't exactly the best". It hasn't exactly gotten better either Spiffing.

When I clicked on this video I was not expecting an exact reenactment of history, with absolutely no difference.

This video is just a compilation of Spiff severely overestimating the effectiveness of artillery in ETW lol.

I've always preferred the way things reflect onto water in Empire's campaign map compared to the ever increasingly more realistic campaign map in later games. It looks like a toy map.

That crashing thing is apparently to do with having the forts in the map, lots and lots of not so tiny pixels just waiting to be hit by massed artillery, Darthmod can get rid of fort battles so it doesn't crash so often (>_

"Sweden has eaten all of Denmark" I see no problem here.

Yay, an older Total War game! I'm hoping we get another video on Medieval 2 Total War sometime detailing the Merchant Stacking exploit. If Moors (or anyone, but they start the closest) walk south from Marrakech towards Timbuktu and capture it, there are like 4 or 5 gold mines there. Then you stick a soldier on top of the mine and then stack up to 20 merchants inside that military unit. All of the merchants will now be trading that gold, when normally you should only be able to trade with 1 merchant.

Imagine playing ETW without putting your units in one big line so more can shoot at the same time smh

This reminds me of a silly run I did in Ultimate General Civil War where I played as the CSA, cheated myself an infinite number of 20 pounder Parrott guns, and then comprised almost 1/3 of my entire army with them under generals who were exceedingly good at making artillery accurate. The grapeshot barrage these things could do when clustered up just behind infantry in forts was absolutely legendary, and they could be just far enough back that they were very unlikely to actually get targeted for counterbattery fire.

Spiff: "I have absolutely no interest in helping the Americans!" Me: "He sounds like a man Americans would vote for!"

0:54 I would expect nothing less from a proud British citizen!

"using war crimes to break the game." Now THAT'S what I call demonetization

The Spiffing Brit: "Time to invade Spain" ***sieges Lisbon***

"There is no more serious crime than unnecessary war" - Beorge W. Gush

I thought war crimes were just Spiff's normal strategy in these games.

This entire video made me think of one thing in particular: YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES ME A GOOD DEMOMAN?

Imagine the enemy forces are even able to reach your lines when you have Superior cannons in Shogun 2

Me: (drinking coffee) Spiffing: *coffee is the most horrendous thing known to man* Me: (👀)☕👌

I was wondering why, of all the total war games, he hadn't done the one that literally had the British Empire in it. Now he has, so I can die happy.

My favorite line in this video will forever be, “there’s the man in his pajamas banging on the drums and he’s ready to cause some chaos”

Man I’ve been binging your channel for the last few weeks since I discovered it.

4:06 in the argument between coffee and tea I say “why are you talking about tea and coffee? Hot chocolate cannot be trumped by either”

Pretty sure if you mixed some regular cannons in with the howitzers and use grape shot you never have to worry about the ai getting close

I have a profound love for this perfectly balanced, not in anyway buggy game. May you commit warcrimes as you swim in your vault of gold coins

Remember, it's not a war crime if you win the war and declare it an "extreme but necessary tactic".

me a stellaris player:sees the word war crimes LAUGHS IN SITH LORD

"Why are the Spanish declaring war on me?" Spiff, could it be the war crimes?

“You violated the Geneva Convention 192 times” said charge for international war crimes Spitting Brett “only 192 that’s really low”

You know it's a top-tier episode when war crimes are explicitly stated as the goal within the first 3 minutes of the video.

A well placed quicklime shot was the most satisfying thing to do in this game

"coffee is the most horrendous beverage known to man" well said ol' chap

I remember specifically doing this in Napoleon TW, where I had 3 max ranked and max upgraded mortars that would average something like ~1600 kills each battle between the 3 of them. I don't know why exactly, but the mortars in Napoleon are like.... absolutely busted. You somehow have these cannons that can literally shoot all the way across the map with basically 100% accuracy and pretty much just straight rout whatever they hit as they kill 80% of the unit with one shot. And then you protect them with a combination of sharpshooters (who have significantly higher range and accuracy than any other infantry unit) and smaller cannons set on shrapnel shot, to kill whatever smaller remnants actually go after you. Though I still find the Shogun 2 "spam artillery ships and kill the entire enemy fort with 1 off-shore volley" strat to be the most effective overall TW strategy in existence, but it only works on coastal castles. Basically, if you have a completely max size navy (or multiple) supporting/blockading a coastal city, and you set it to max radius instead of focus fire, it'll fire something like 100 artillery shells across the entire castle, killing about 90% of the defenders without you even having to get within range. And the AI will never leave the castle, so... it's just guaranteed to work every single time. It's just a shame it only works on like 1/12th of the territories in the game because even half the coastal ones have the castle too far inland for a navy to get within range of them.

1:29 I like how phallic the mouse pointer is.

Spiff is just letting us know that if England ignored all of the Americas and focused on making profit, the future would have turned out a lot differently.

"Chemical Gas" - ahh yeah. The weaponry of the future!

You missed a golden oppotunity: empire Total War(crime). So much better *pats own back*

"I don't know how to use cavalry" -every empire/napoleon total war player

"This should be an absolute wa-" Spiff: "-lk in the park" Me: "-arcrime"

“We’re going to invade the Caribbean?” Wouldn’t that make you a PIRATE of the Caribbean

Oh my giddy aunt, finally! I was waiting for an Empire TW Spiff video for ages!

Thanks to you , I reinstalled this game and followed your video. It was really refreshing to play game your way.

I you dropped the tea tax then Americans never throw tea into the harbor, they never start drinking coffee as an up ours to England. You hold incredible power.

So, the moral of the story is - tea and cannons are the best combination

In today's episode of, "you can't violate the Geneva Convention if it doesn't exist yet..."

They're called 'Line' infantry for a reason, you know. Mortars can fire over the infantry in front of them, so get a nice line of (tadaa!) line infantry, with your mortars behind them and you've got an invincible army.

I love warcrimes!

You make world domination sound so lovely

The bomb shell for mortars is even more OP than the carcass shell, its absurd When I would play multiplayer with my friends back in 2015, I would occasionally run an entire army of just mortars and bomb whatever they fielded out of existence

Hey Spiff! I played a bit of Empire Total War lately and I noticed a bug happening sometimes with stakes deployed in front 24-pounders. When you let them shoot cannister (or shrapnel, can't recall quite certain), instead of a regular shotgun-like scatter, the stakes somehow turn it into a flamethrower effect or the like... with a much higher casualty rate too! Perhaps something you could check too, see if you get it as well!

You will never speed up battle when using the Superior artillery in Shogun 2

An alternate timeline where Sir Issac Newton only focused his mind on chemical weaponry

Love this game, glad you’re finally doing a video on it!

Honestly spiff sounds like a complete and utter maniac

you have made me buy a countless amount of games spiff, and when you play them yourself they arent that awesome that you make them look

Ah warcrimes, just my cup of tea

spiffing Brit loves war crimes, he would adore war hammer 40k

Ahh yes, I needed some enjoyment thru the exploits of war crimes and atrocities. Thank you Sir Spif

Spiff, you may want to install DarthMod for Empire to make the game a little less unstable and less ugly. It also improved the AI and effectiveness of each troop type in their specified roles. Most of the lag you get is from old particle effects that most likely expect a physical pixel shader. Lots of Mods fix this issue. Most atrocious of this are the fires from fort walls.

But I thought warcrimes were how you broke every game, including a few games that don't even involve warfare!? What's next, a video called "Spiffing Brit loves Tea and the Queen?"

around 6:00 "Men .... AIM and SHOOTY-SHOOT" I love how he has historical verified commands and orders down to a tea. Very educational.

Carcass Shot + loose leaf tea snorting = GODLIKE POWERS!

I love how he says all of these terrible things in such a fancy voice! 😂

Spiffing Brit can you do a video on Kerbal space program it’s a space program game

Great timing! Was just watching one of your community EU4 streams. Always enjoy your videos.

"...just have to be in a similar post code to the enemy" Close only counts for horseshoes and hand grenades. And weapons of mass destruction.

I think someone needs to make sure spiffs tea is okay, he sounded a bit "too" british.

Having played thousands of hours of Total War. 1000 in Empire specifically. I can say that while this strat looks fun and exploitative it is far more efficient to use round shot and cannister to wipe out the enemy. Especially since regular cannons have more range than indirect fire. And while it is tempting, you dont really want to conquer any of the major European powers until the end. Much better to steal their expensive fleets and sell them. Naval warfare is where the real exploits are in Empire. Something I havent quite been able to pull off in Napoleon.

7:36 The charge of the Light Brigade for ya

4:35. The Spiffing Brit: if you won't trade with britain we will go into you

LETS GO THE SPIN IS GREAT

I have to say, even though u are a leaf-bathwater lover i still think ur videos are fun

YOU HAD ME AT BULLY THE FRENCH