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It Gets Better...My Love Letter To Anyone Coming Out

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Hello Everyone.
September has been a month of tragedies. It seems that each passing day brought another report of a young man who had taken his own life because of bullying and the homophobic actions of others. To me, this month has felt like one long funeral. Among those we lost were:
Justin Aaberg- 15 years old...Anoka, Minnesota
Billy Lucas- 15 years old...Greensburg, Indiana
Asher Brown- 13 years old...Harris, Texas
Seth Walsh- 13 years old...Tehachapi, California
Tyler Clementi- 18 years old...Ridgewood, New Jersey
Raymond Chase- 19 years old...Providence, Rhode Island
Even though this may seem like alot to some, what I can't help but think when I see this list is how many more gay teens committed suicide who we may never hear about...perhaps because they didn't want anyone to know or because their families hid the information. There's always a reason. Only one thing is for sure...the young men above are the short list of those who fell to Loneliness and the intimidation of others.
In response to the wave of deaths and hoping to foster the survival of gay teens, Dan Savage and his partner began the awesome "It Gets Better Project", a RU-vid page in which those of us who made it past those years of loneliness and isolation share how our lives have changed....that it does get better in just a couple of short years. To date, the project has collected nearly 120 testimonies: / itgetsbetterproject
Including Jays and mine: • IT GETS BETTER One LGB...
I left the experience of making that video feeling like I had so much more to say. So, I'm writing today's post as a letter to gay teens who are feeling that suicide is the only way to end that sense of shame and isolation....also to those of us coming out later in life...and also to my 18 year old self. Please read on...

Опубликовано:

2 окт 2010

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Комментарии : 220

@lwlibra 14 лет назад

Thanks for giving hope and inspiration to those in need.. There is always a light at the end of a tunnel, a rainbow after the storm.

@RandyR Год назад

Thank you.

@TyTy911872 14 лет назад

Thank you for that you made me cry hearing your words. I am 23 and just came out to my friends a couple months ago and still dont know how i will to my family. You two are amazing people and i only hope one day i will be lucky enough to have a family like yours.

@YouSPI 13 лет назад

Excellent! It's been 30+ years since I went through this but you hit so many nails right smack on the head! Thank you for this. You may have saved a life, or many.

@MichaelOlsen-Engineer 8 лет назад

Thanks Brian

@Equistta 13 лет назад

You hit the point exactly. A lot of those things i could agree with. Thank you so much for writing that. The fact that someone could say that and hit every nail right on the head, it shows that i'm not alone. It really means a lot

@bartt3002 13 лет назад

this is so heart tearing ... i wish i had this 10 years ago thanks so much for this. its just great that we all share something our coming out. thanks!

@SeattleRexx 14 лет назад

THIS should be required viewing in EVERY High School across the country..Powerful, Loving, and Truthful words that probably saved a young life today... Bless You and everyone viewing this heartfelt treasure...

@shloopy5 14 лет назад

that was beautifully written and read. thank you so much! I struggle with doubts every day. Your videos are doing amazing work! thanks

@gilbertblaze 14 лет назад

Beautiful Video.. Very Powerful Words Bryan October being Coming Out Month now...its so important for gay youth to know that they aren't alone and there are people out there that may not know them but love and support them....this is an issue that won't go away and needs to be address..... breaks my heart more gay youth are ending there lives... but I hope the itgetsbetterproject and other projects can get through to kids.... Excellent Video! BIG HUGS

@prizmnightsky 14 лет назад

I am shedding a few tears with a lump in my throat... Thank you. I feel honored to have simply heard this beautiful letter. I am going to post this on my facebook page. Blessings to you and your family.

@MILESRUN777 14 лет назад

Wow !! Thanks for the letter.....so touching in its meaning to those who feel they don't belong. Gives me hope for the human race.......thanks again!

@ledercub 14 лет назад

i think this should be a tv commercial for every station on this planet so kids and those who are not out can feel comforted also on the radio as well it needs to be said not for a week or when tragedy strikes but every day

@jerryday12 9 лет назад

Thank you for your letter (My Love Letter To Anyone Coming Out) video, and including my age (59). Your words are wonderful thank you for your love and friendship.

@hvu6 14 лет назад

Wow. Thank You. There no word to express how I feel. This really make me feel like I am not the only one feeling all this emotion and to know that I am not alone. All that Bryan said is so true.

@zguy2185 14 лет назад

Thank You! that letter means more to me than you will ever know! I am so glad I found your channel, the love you two have for each other and your family is so amazing!

@DeniseN2000 14 лет назад

This was truly beautiful. In that tragic kind of way that beauty sometimes is. Thank you for this.

@rachelwolff8507 10 лет назад

Your words stirred my heart ... made me weep. Keep making the videos.

@new2u4401 13 лет назад

Your letter is beautiful. There are many lovable and beautiful people out there who need to hear this. Thank you for sharing this and for your love and dedication. I am with you. I just happened across this by accident and am glad I did. God Bless you and others like you. I am a 45 years old and wish there was something like this for me while I was a troubled teen. You are not alone!!

@theanimalkingdomblog 12 лет назад

That is one of the most wonderful letter I have ever hear.. That really made me cry

@InanelyHedging 14 лет назад

The recent events have saddened me too. It makes me think how my life might have been if my uncle had not 'just shown up'. He is a treasured part of my childhood and because of him I had an extra uncle I would not have had otherwise. That said this is an excellent message for anyone and everyone, especially teenagers. I wish I could give it more than one thumbs up. - Heidi

@samanthakayee01 11 лет назад

I came out Bi way to early in high school and was treated so bad and I had nightmares about waking up back in school well into my 20's this letter touched me a lot.

@NittonNio3 12 лет назад

I think I've commented this when you posted it. But I want to make sure you get it. Thank you Bryan. You saved my life. And your words here continue to do so almost every day, as an echo in my head when things get rough. That letter, I think is the most touching thing I could hear. Thank you for your honesty, and clearity. Thank you.

@pdx263 13 лет назад

@ 2:20 Powerful words that hit uncomfortably close to home. Thankfully, we made it past those dark days.

@thatoneshyguy20 14 лет назад

Great vid and letter, these vids are always a nice thing to see for those of us still in the process. For those the journey is only beginning and have all the hope the future will be better and will be bright. Thanks for always sending out these positive messages.

@glvdtxn 14 лет назад

Thanks so much for such a beautiful message! I wish I could have heard this when I was in high school. Hat's off to you!

@Will13001 14 лет назад

OMG, what an incredible letter. You have touch so much of my story and feelings and effectively have shared your very real journey. Thanks for this contribution to our young brothers and sisters who are dealing at some level with the revelation that they are different in a profound and scary way. I have profound sadness knowing that so many of us do not live long enough to know it gets better. (A 68 year old brother)

@newMike4life 14 лет назад

This message is by far the most touching and profound message I've seen thus far. You beautifully delivered a message of hope and how life does get better for us! I'm glad that many people who are coming out will get to see this video and see things differently, PROUD TO HAVE YOU ON MY TIME BUDDY!

@alexcarey7267 8 лет назад

I remember watching this video years ago when I was in the initial process of coming out. Thanks Brian

@robertpearson3030 8 лет назад

One foot in front of the other every day. It was a long road from 17 to 27. But from then till now 46 most days have been awesome. Thanks for sharing

@TyTy911872 14 лет назад

@depfox thank you so much i found your videos just a couple of days ago and have found your family such an insperasion and i thank you for that. You kind of gave me a boost of hope for my own future.

@MrBates1 13 лет назад

I got all choked up just by hearing you read off the names of those teens. As you went on and talked about church, your parents, and waiting for it to be your turn, I just about lost it. I started writing a similar letter/ story a few days ago and stopped 'cause I wasn't sure I wanted to finish it, or why I was writing it in the first place. Know I do. Thank you so much for the strength to share. It has helped give me some at the age of 37. Best to you and your family. Bryday's coming up soon!

@kc55mo 14 лет назад

It was a beautiful letter. I wept through the whole thing. Thank you.

@gustjorodedheo 14 лет назад

This is a beautiful letter, Bryan! I'm out, but only within the last year. So I know about all those horrible feelings and situations. Now I'm in college (but still living at home) and it is much better. But it's not perfect. But I still thank you for the letter. Best!

@RichardKhalil 13 лет назад

Bryan, your letter is beautiful, authentic and powerful beyond measure. You're a wonderful human being. God bless you! ;)

@sbaglioscherzo 14 лет назад

Just beautiful, Bryan. I'm certain this will help countless people who are looking for a lifeline.

@sempervivum4342 10 лет назад

Perhaps my favorite 'It gets better' video!

@nicspabs 12 лет назад

Thank you for this insightful letter. It is a great comfort.

@Bjmbeast 14 лет назад

You've created an amazing message - thank you.

@Kevmike68 14 лет назад

Thank you and God bless you! What a loving, hopeful, compassionate message! Thank you, thank you, thank you! :-D

@PrincessWildfire 13 лет назад

thank you for sharing your story,

@enquvist 13 лет назад

C/ This letter was absolutely beautiful and I related to so much of it. I’m 36 now and had a long journey to find true happiness, and true love, and to get to a point where I could look at my life and say “it’s so good to be here and I’m so glad I chose life when I was 21 and get to experience this”. D/ I think the idea behind your youtube page is amazing, and I thankyou for being such a positive voice and such an amazing inspiration to young gays fighting to find their way today.

@joshuataylor3975 14 лет назад

Bless you for doing this... The closet is a horrible, dark and scary place.

@Bjmbeast 14 лет назад

You've created a beautiful message - thank you

@padraigodonnabhain6110 11 лет назад

Anyway, enough rambling, thank you again for making this whole process so much easier, knowing that there are people like you in the world. It means a great deal to me, as I'm sure you understand :) Please please continue with what you're doing; you help so many people, young and old, and I for one greatly appreciate it!

@tiffyduck 13 лет назад

Bryan, every time I watch this I am so inspired. Thank you for this video. I've shared it with a friend who is just starting to come out and with someone who doesn't understand what it's like to be gay. I hope it does for them what it does for me. You are such a wonderful person :)

@DennyAlbert 13 лет назад

Your video is an inspiration to lots of gay teens everywhere. I wish I could have heard your message when I was a young man. Thank You for your kindness!

@FredBolton 10 лет назад

Who Bryan, I wished I could have heard that when I was a teen but I am really glad you read that and I hope you replay that as often as you can I feel someone needs it now. God Love you as I do. It hard to type when you are crying. Thanks

@andrewguy10 14 лет назад

Beautiful, thank you, so much.

@ElCibaeno1966 14 лет назад

I can't imagine how many times you had to hit pause, well, I do, this was great! If only we had this growing up, it would've made it just a bit smoother., but like you said, that what we went through, made us who we are today, and it's only LOVE that get's you through.... ... sigh..

@rickqik 13 лет назад

that was sooooooooooo touching... usually boys dont say that but i just did and i am a boy.....im not gay but that was very insperational. it was a blessing that you made that video and i hope more people see this...thank u

@matthewwoolfrey 14 лет назад

Bry. tears man, like I'm talkin' that-scene-from-steel-magnolias-where-Sally-Field-is-trying-to-grieve-over-Shelby's-death-at-the-cemetery-tears... ...I have fought for 10 YEARS to put that in a song. You are SO right. It is so hard. And videos like this are SO so so crucial to the nurture of our confidence, the support of our community and the birth of our rights. You said every word I didn't and it was both concise and eloquent. I hope I get to meet you guys soon. So so so much love, matt

@Marvinglz 13 лет назад

aw! You definitely have a heart of gold! Thanks for sharing! Hopefully some day I could find a man just like you! :)

@gene978 11 лет назад

I came out at age 33 after I found up through the INTERNET how many people were like me. I did develop a wall if someone was about to say anything to me I was ready but I got only positive feedback and the pressure I carried melted away and was lifted. I was FREE for the very first time in my adult life. It wasn't always easy after but anything worth fighting for isn't easy.

@Sttubbs 14 лет назад

I just came out to my best friend. I didn't think I'd ever come out to anyone. He is so cool about it, even though we don't really talk about it. He is such a great friend. How could he ever accept and still like me after all the lying I've done to him. He is the best, and I am so thankful for him. I am so lucky.

@jaydaalishya240 11 лет назад

Thank you so much for this. Truly amazing.

@garret166 14 лет назад

I got chills. This was perfectly done. I'm speechless.

@jojo20to1 14 лет назад

Bryan that gave me tear in my when i sitting in my office hearing that. Thank you for that!!

@ChrysogonusLi 14 лет назад

I wish I had this video back when I was struggling with myself, or when I was kicked out from the house last January. It brought back tears, dude

@htarceno 13 лет назад

thank you for sharing this...

@Mac81700 11 лет назад

Thank you for this and I pray that many LGBT teens may see this. I have been in every one of these situations and how painful they are.

@zachleming 14 лет назад

i love ur heart felt speeches its one of the reasons i watch u guys the other being that u guys have the relationship i hope to have one day

@BlairMuellerArt 13 лет назад

I almost started crying watching this...what a well written letter. I wish there was a way that you could actually mail it out anonymously to all those who need the help, or for those who are afraid to even look at anything "gay" related on their computers for fear of it being discovered. I'm sure that happens a lot too. This is probably one of the best videos on the matter, at least that I've seen. Great job.

@serdip 14 лет назад

An incredible video! Thank you for posting this!

@MIG106 11 лет назад

Thanks for dedicating it to those later in life, too.

@chefboyardeeman 14 лет назад

Thank you so much.

@ExplorationB 14 лет назад

Well done Brian this is so well put. When you were reading it, I was taken back to a time when I was in highschool and grossed out when I had my first kiss with a girl. I was forcing myself to be straight. Interesting. Just as well I was a nice guy - we stayed friends after that.

@888epmz 14 лет назад

Thank you, Brian for this video. Watching it made a lot of memories come back, most of which I had shut out because they were mostly about me being horribly bullied back in grade and high school, all because of the perception I was gay. I cried while listening to this because I just wish I could go back and comfort that 13 year old kid that I was, that, yes, it gets better. Now I know I'm gay and out to most of the people that mean a lot to me, but back then I was desperately alone and confused

@randallross822 12 лет назад

Thank you so much for making this video, Bryan! It was an awesome letter for all those feeling insecure and searching for answers and inspiration to love and accept themselves. I'm sure you and Jay have saved many lives through your work and the videos you've made. Godspeed and ROCK ON!! :) Hugs! Randall

@vidhead85 14 лет назад

Thank you for sharing this letter, I have come to terms with my sexuality but to hear it again as if it were in my head was and remains powerful.

@Nipbsb 11 лет назад

Just came out as bi on my Facebook after keeping it to myself and close friends for a year. I also have cerebral palsy and use a powerchair for mobility. I am also a Christian and dealing with believing God loves me this way. I'm 27 and this video is perfect for me right now. Thank you :)

@LivingOutinOKC 14 лет назад

i broke down in tears when you read that .... i remember all those feelings... i was one of the lucky ones that there family accepted me... Brian you and Jay are so great.... and i don't think you really know how much what you read will do for so many young gay men and women...yall are great people and hope you keep going!!! hope you all have a great week!!

@iceeblueboy 13 лет назад

Im coming out a week from tuesday, national coming out day, im nervous but i gotta get through this for all the poor victims that have taken their lives

@bilcal 14 лет назад

May your viewers take courage from your words and life. Thanks, Brian.

@UKClosetGuy 14 лет назад

I just read the news page about Tyler Clementi. It is absolutely horrible that someone would be so inconsiderate for their roomate. The fact that it happened more than once is even worse. I hope Tyler's family gets through the pain of losing a special part of their life. R.I.P. Tyler, and every other person who has died because of such tormentation.

@joyrider137 13 лет назад

The video was absolutely amazing. Thank you so much

@CarlitzVlog 13 лет назад

:) thank you sooo much, this made me cry bc I feel like this allot... Thanks again you made me feel so much way better :)

@debbieomi 14 лет назад

Bryan~ This is such a beautiful letter and I'm sure countless people will be helped along by it. Very powerful... I don't think I've ever met anyone who didn't want to be or look like someone else at some point in their lives. It's a human condition to think the grass is always greener on the other side. What we need to realize and accept is that every person has their own problems and there's no better person to be than yourself.

@LifterWill 12 лет назад

Just saw the film today at the SF LGBT Center. Your family is wonderful!! Loved getting to meet you and the producers as well. I came right home and looked this video up so I could share it with friends who didn't see the film today. Blessings to you!!

@b4804514 13 лет назад

Bryan Wow I don;t think viewers understand how much work went into this powerful vid. A big thank you - You are so in touch with life, what you want and how to go about making and keeping yourself happy along with those people you love around you. Watching your face looking at the kids - could you be any happier. You are really one lucky guy - leading by example -taking the time to examine & share your deepest feelings sincerely for all of us. Your hard work is better than Oprah & Dr Phil

@MikeBlevinsAZ 12 лет назад

One of the best vids ever. Thanks for sharing.

@madgeniusmusic 12 лет назад

I'm straight, and I learned a load from that beautiful video, well done, truly beautiful.

@brentduanefoster 14 лет назад

I want to thank you for this letter. With all of the examples that you made, I saw myself. I am working toward the day where I will confidently reveal who I am as a bisexual man. That day is not far away. Thank you!

@zackg3 14 лет назад

@SeattleRexx AGREED. Thank you VERY much for this.

@BDRoland 14 лет назад

Perfect portrayal of the struggle many of us go through.

@TwilightMattzz 14 лет назад

Definitly how I felt and am feeling right now as I am only just out. I could not put this into better words. You and Jay are an inspiration, role models, for gay couples of the future, even how heterosexual couples should act.

@MuzicMan118 12 лет назад

I've accepted it myself, I've told countless people.... but for some reason I feel the realization is hitting me again... I don't want this... I thought I had come to terms with it... apparently not...

@MrAladdin01 14 лет назад

Thank you Thank you Thank you for your thoughtful and inspiring contribution to our global, young gay and lesbian future. You are an amazing couple and your message has reignited the powerful gay man I am to give more of myself to the greater good. Michael and Ron Perth West Australia

@Destruidor2006 14 лет назад

It's also, tomorrow i'm going show your video for a friend, a friend in Brazil that fell like u di before, thanks for it, Tiago

@batmanluver01 14 лет назад

I'm 15 an open to the fact I like women, men, cross dressers, or whomever else is accepting of me for me and I for them. I work hard to be accepted, and I'm here for those who need to be. I'm so glad there are people like you, who are brave enough to go and and say how scary it it, but it's never a bad thing. You are very brave, and a wonderful person with a wonderful family. Thank you very much ^^

@BlackMage149 14 лет назад

I have complete and utter remorse for those lost lives, but I feel as though this could've been stopped if children were better tought to just not care what others think, a word is just a word, it cant hurt you if you dont let it.

@billsf94131 12 лет назад

What a beautiful and compassionate letter. I found this video after watching that pastor Sean Harris give his hate speech. I'm a 53 yr. old gay man who has come to the conclusion that you can't label your spirit. Spirit unites, ego divides. Spirit is the aspect of our being that is tied into all of life. I'm extremely fond of the teachings of Abraham Hicks. She has alot of great videos on how to line up your energy so that your life has meaning and purpose.

@yuyhyh 13 лет назад

you made me cry! for the hurt i still feel inside and for the gratefull that I am today. I am a 33yo gay man from Portugal, (south catholic europe) i was the nerd, fat, and "different" boy so bullying was everyday! Didn't felt i could talk to my family so, i suffererd in silence, got a stomach ulcer... Later, when i understood that I was ok, I started to love and respect myself and guess what: the stomach healed, and people arrond me today love me and respect me. this is my new everyday!

@TheRC120 13 лет назад

The worst thing when I was a teen was that when I left school for the day, the biggest bully of all, my father, waited for me at home. I used to tell myself back then, if i could get through today, i could get through anything, and I think that saved me. But all that has changed, and now I get to pick and choose all the wonderful people I surround myself with. People who love me because I'm me.

@Trefsre 14 лет назад

Don't give up! I know Middle and High School are tough, and I know that ending it is all you want, but that is not the solution. There is still hope, even then. I care because I know that life still has so much to offer, and you have so much to offer in return. Don't short change the world your amazing contributions, and don't short change yourself all the incredible experiences you've yet to experience. With all the well-wishing I can muster to those who need it

@piebird042 14 лет назад

Thank you

@marvin8003 10 лет назад

Oh i love the intro, it's 'Always' from Aysel and Arash, Azerbaijan's entry of Eurovision Song Contest 2009. I like the video too.

@zeek72358 14 лет назад

Another fantastic video. It's just a horrible shame that in addressing it you included the young people that have died. One's heart just breaks realizing how dark those last days and hours were for them thinking that there was no other choice. I've been in that dark place. Again you come through with a video that sets just the right tone. I just hope that this and the other "it gets better" videos will find their way to people that need to see them.

@BenJEMean 14 лет назад

im 18 and told one of my sisters in August, probably the scariest feeling in the world, but she was great about it fortunately. I think they had/have been suspicious for a while, as iv had my first boyfriend since around April/May and been trying to keep it a secret. Since august i have felt a lot better, knowing another family member knows (as well as her boyfriend) took the edge off, and felt like a huge weight off my shoulders, trust me it does get better.