It's Either Me or the Church Pt. 2: Fontella Hicklin v Vincent Hicklin 

He’s using the church as an excuse for being a lousy husband. He will probably act right for a few minutes. Let there be another “big ministry opportunity” 😮

Not taking care of one's home is worse than unbelief

This is a perfect example of wanting the title of LEADER and have no idea how to lead! How was he even selected? Did he not go through a mentorship from the prior pastor? No marriage counseling for their marriage. Lack of communication, lack of empathy, lack of compassion, his wife should never feel alone. He needs to learn how to lead and delegate things to his deacons, youth pastors, church mothers….

He rolled his eyes in his head when her sister said she was her hero. He doesn’t like his wife anymore. He has made his choice. Bye pastor I would move on if I were her.

Dang he feels more compelled to help people in the church than his own wife, skipped over the scriptures of her being first 😬🙄

He is bugging. He said the cancer HIT HIM harder than it HIT HER. Yeah, divorce him.

Oh Please' STOP! 🤔 That Lady needs to RUN and Don't Look Back! ❤🙏🏼☝🏿🙌🏼

...Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church! Does he not know that scripture?

Can you believe that the Judge is doing to the Pastor what the Pastor should be doing to the Judge, Giving instructions in scriptures. Wow!!!! He is neither a pastor or a husband.

8:40 He really just stood there and made her Cancer battle about him!!! Talk about self-absorbed!! Where is the tiny violin??? He has checked out and she is his last priority!!!

A narcissist is incapable of showing empathy. I can't imagine your wife just having major surgery and you leave her home alone and with no pain medication. Wicked and cruel.

Being a man of God does not mean you cannot show emotions,does not mean you cannot show your partner empathy and compassion, does not mean you cannot hold your partner and cry..it does not make you less of a man.Humble yourself and show you care a lot more

It may have started off as a calling from God. It seems to have quickly turned to the desire for fame and notoriety.

He tolerates his Wife/ kids by avoiding them. He does not like this Lady; he's not even concerned about her well-being. All the love & consideration is coming from her, not him. Its evident that he got married b/c it was a "good-look" for his ministry rather than love. If they divorce, he's gonna marry his ex.

When he said, “The cancer hit me harder than it did her”….I knew it was over!!! This woman literally had cancer in her body twice!! He had no empathy and that is alarming, huge red flag!

Excuses do not cut it, Pastor!!! Your first obligation is to GOD, your wife, and then the Church!! I pray that you will humble yourself!!

He seems selfish, ex giving him gifts, and he's worried about his image. I think he's not all that into her. He's got excuses for everything. She can do better without him. Lives too short to be an option.

This is the part 2 I’ve been waiting for! This is the reality of being a “1st lady” or pastors wife… It’s NOT glamorous‼️

I wonder how he would feel if the situation was reversed and she stuck to her work instead of being there for help in doing her medication

I think he used the church to avoid the cancer situation. Some men run away when they can’t handle things. He thought he was losing his wife; his church responsibilities provided an easy escape

Is he really at church events or with that woman? Because he shows no interest in his wife AT ALL and didn’t even nod while her sister was calling her a hero. No grown adult needs someone to tell them that his sick wife should’ve taken precedence over a church. He seems very checked out.

Family let me tell you. I was married for 23yrs to a wonderful man he was my soul mate. He had colon cancer for 3yrs. He passed last year around this time. I was there for him 110 percent. Changing bandages, keeping drains clean, cleaning colostomy bags filled in bowel. I made a vow for better or worse. I meant it. I worked full time with children. Sir. Please cherish your wife, I did but I miss him so much😔

OK. This has been my favorite episode! I know I’ve been very hard on judge Star, but that’s only because I’m a really long time Judge Lynn, Toler rider! But Judge Star really showed her wisdom, compassion and understanding here and this is definitely my favorite episode.

I can relate. The Church Elder husband left me feeling real sick with a 2 weeks old baby, me hungry, a toddler that needed a bath and food, and went to church to minister to people. That broke my marriage right there and then. I wondered why the pastor didn't send him back home to his family

I’m a strong believer that when someone SHOWS you who they are you believe them. The fact that he showed up for the church moreso and not her in her worst moment spoke volumes. I’d been done with him after that!! Even a regular person with lots of responsibilities & without a title would know to drop everything when it came down to life threatening issues for there spouse. He seem like someone who wanna be right about everything he do. I couldn’t with him after that cancer incident.

😮😮😮😮she went thru a lot but stealing money from the church is a no no

I thought he was there to save his marriage. He’s throwing her under the bus. Seems like he expected her to know his calling was as a pastor, but did he know he signed up to be HER HUSBAND? He acts like what she said. The church is important than her. Let it go, ma’am. He’s not husband material.

He has no business going to lunch with his ex. Smh. So many red flags on both sides. God is not pleased.

He is probably hollering in church, "God healed my wife" but can't tell anyone what he has done for her as her husband. He needs to leave his ex alone.

How is he counseling other marriages and can't get his home life together.

Oh he loved the judge stroking his ego😡

OMG...This was sooo good! I am a former First Lady (as my husband is now retired from pastoring) and I can attest to some of this. There is so much I can say here. However, as always Judge Star handled it with such wisdom and clarity. She is nothing shy of awesome! And I love how beautiful she looks today!🥰 I'm so glad that this couple took heed and are doing well! 🙌🏽 And...Judge tearing up those divorce papers and quoting the scripture "What God hath put together, let no man put asunder". OUTSTANDING! 👏🏽👏🏽❤️

Her update was about being a better wife and supporter. His update was that she can support him even more 🤦🏾‍♀️

When I was in high school I dated a guy that wanted to be a minister. My wise old neighbor lady told me I wouldn’t be a good ministers wife Oh boy! Was she right on that one. 50 years s later , I am so grateful for her wisdom and honesty

If unequally yoke was a person this is it !

1 Timothy But if any doesn’t provide for his own and specially for those in his own home, he hath denied the faith and is worse than an infidel 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Marriage is honorable in all. God will not be pleased with neglecting of family. Others needs to be trained to take part in helping people in the church.

I think all new pastors should seek counsel on how to prioritize things. He was new and hit the grown going and leading but forgot about home. She checked out because she wasbt feeling supported when she needed him most. Glad they worked it out and things are better.

Can he say I’m sorry? I think that’s what she’s waiting on.

This is ridiculous where is female empowerment here what is her purpose in life what is her calling that's what she needs to be focused on and that's what the judge should encourage in her but instead she's stroking the pastor's ego by saying the church is this and the church is that she is not a pastor she has her own life to live she's too busy saying yes ma'am yes ma'am to the judge and it is a very serious thing when a husband is not there when his wife has cancer and covid

I’m not gonna be ANYONE’S emotional parole officer. I’m force and fight someone to care for me the way their role is supposed to.

I like the advice Judge Starr gave regarding how the Pastor can split up the church responsibilities, so there will be ample time spent at home with his wife and children… But when it comes to the family trials & tribulations each partner should be there for each other..

But he is not a "priest"! He has a wife. If he didn't want a wife with all the responsibilities that come with him being a husband to a wife, he needs to do something else.

I would think if the church knows the pastors wife is battling an illness, the associate pastor and some deacons would step up

The Bible says love your wife as Christ loves the church..

Amen what God had put together let no man put it under . Thank you Star for ministering to this couple .

I didn’t love Judge Starr in this role at first. I LOVE HER NOW!! 🩷

PREACH JUDGE STAR. THEY NEED TO PRACTICE WHAT THEY PREACH AND BE A EXAMPLE FOR OTHERS.

The look on his face as she talks about the other woman.She smirking.

You would not want your wife to go to her grave thinking you didn't fully love her, when you did. This is the time you should be spending the most together because no one knows the time nor the day we will leave this Earth.

Awww. That was awesome! I appreciated Judge Star's wise counsel on this one.

Judge Star helped her see that they're better together. Great episodes!

Very common problem for wives/husband of ministry. Judge Starr gave solid words of wisdom. Congratulations to the couples for reconnecting ❤

I loved judge Toler, was hurt when she left... But I have grown to adore Judge Jones as well... Both have excellent insight and wisdom. You picked wisely this time Divorce Court...

How is the 1st lady of the church NOT ATTEND church...I think he started resenting her and her resenting him bc he wasn't there with her bc of the illness.Wish them luck🙏🏼

Thank you judge, may God bless you with long healthy life❤❤❤

I can’t help but to feel he doesn’t care much about his wife.. it seems both has checked out. Sad

This episode made me teary-eyed 😢. I love Judge Star!

He has checked out as well they both have let the marriage fall by the wayside and it’s gonna take corrections of actions and lots of work to help their marriage and it’s so worth it a marriage is always worth fighting for💯💯. It’s like the body one must go to doctor, and have proper exams in order too keep the body right or at least able to have a proper diagnosis so that the proper steps are in place for how to fix whats broken

I absolutely love Judge Stars makeup and hair! Gorgeous.

You can tell he wasn’t there for his wife and is a selfish man because anyone who has ever taken care of an individual with a life threatening disease knows that they can NEVER place their pain above the individual’s pain. I was 13 years old helping to take care of my mom that had breast cancer. There is no denying it was a traumatic event for me but it was only traumatic because I couldn’t even imagine the pain my mother was going through. It wasn’t all about me me me. Sad he can’t see that man has not empathy at all 🤦🏿‍♀️

I’m so sad by this man that called himself a pastor 😂

I love both of them, I hope things work out for them.

When you are married to a high performer whether a pastor or businessperson, be ready to accept he can’t be there for you all the time. Nothing like marrying someone who shares your values and vision. Who loves your dreams as much as you love them. He married the wrong woman unfortunately. She’s not a bad person per se but just not compatible to him

I do believe that she have been prioritising him but realise that she was putting so much and getting little in return..its vice versa..And no she's isn't perfect but who in the kitchen feels the heat..

I believe the inability to be heard is causing trauma which have lead to those buying decisions. She deserves better, nobody should be feeling like number 2 for so long. He doesn’t even care. Go on and be your best self!!!! You deserve way better.❤

I JUST FELL INLOVE WITH THIS JUDGE. Thought I just wanted Tollerrrrrrrrr in my Life.😅❤🎉

Judge Star gave excellent advice on this one. I hope that they continue to work things out.

I feel like his facade is pastorship, but he craves the attention and authority that comes with the title. Not taking care of home as a pastor and the inability to show love, compassion or empathy to your wife; all in the same breath as entertaining another woman at church is a RED FLAG. Even at the end, he neglected to say what compromise he has made, only what SHE can add to the church!!!

Who God calls he equips. The enemy will try anyone. This couple needs a circle around them as one.

Beautiful couple ! --- Some Pastor's don't know how to put their wife's needs first. They need to DELEGATE!!! I want to say that he's not empathetic, BUT he/they find empathy for everyone else. IMO, God is NOT pleased with this from any of them !!!

I LOVE THIS! It's always easy to say what you would do when you're not in the situation. Glad that they are working things out TOGETHER, no one is perfect but that doesn't mean the situation can't be worked on. Now they have a testimony that can help others and are building a stronger marriage and ministry. God bless you both on your journey.

She has been stealing the church funds. The members need to have a word with the Pastor. He needs to sort his wife out or she should leave him alone and stop stealing and using him. She should stick to her husband and stop stealing the peoples' money. The Church board should dig right down into the accounts and get rid of her.

I think Mrs. Hickling went for the Pastor because she wanted to be the one out of all the young ladies at the church to say I got him. She was and is not ready for what came with the title of "first Lady of the church." Now her sister is saying this, that is why the church is a community. While he's doing the Lord's work, his support team, his family, community is supposed to show up for him. Now taken he should put his Family 2nd and God's first, then the church. Overall though she went after him because he was a catch. Now she doesn't like what she caught. I agree with you Judge. Church Business is a whole Business. I'm sure he has an associate pastor who he should delegate to do certain things and step in for him to cater to his Family.

Greeting and holy heights Judge Star 🌟 you rock . That information you gave all the way through was Gods words coming straight from your mouth. What a wonderful show today. I really wish them the very best. Men are one ☝️ track mind and it’s not a bad thing, woman just really needs to overstand that. All it takes is a calm conversation ❤. When doing Doing Gods work there’s apart of us that feels like we have to do what ever it is. Thinking we can fix everything. When that’s Gods Job. ❤ love ❤️ the update ✊🏽👍🏽🙏🏽

Being a Pastors wife is a tough job, everybody is not called to be in that office.

He has other priorities, leave him. He can't even justify his not being there for his wife when she was dying from cancer. I would be pissed. Leave him. Not today, not tomorrowrow. Now!!!!

Here’s real talk… you went after this man… knowing fully well the other women were after him… knowing what direction he was going in… these behaviors didn’t just manifest, they were there the whole time… he was going to always be busy and driven… he was not the man for you… it’s only a matter of time before it falls and crumbles

WAIT NOW…I’m FEELING this new update section. Go head now Divorce Court!!! Keep the Updates coming 😉❤️🥰

Extremely, high level advice from Judge Starr.

I didn't hear him mention how he can be a better husband at the end, just how she can help the ministry

I was pleasantly surprised with their outcome, hope they figure it out together ❤️

He looks at her as an object and a tool for his personal use. Classic narcissist. I was married to one of these, he will never change! My ex did something similar regarding the lack of empathy and the only way I was able to put it to an end was to blindside him with divorce papers. He was shook and enraged and I was confused at the time. This male is using his position as an ego boost and is addicted to the attention, money, perks and accolades.

Marriage restoration....all for it.

As a preacher's kid, one on the outside looking in wouldn't understand there are some things as a pastor he's not going to be to be there as husband for. We had to sacrifice our parents in regard to the church and their obligation to do what they had to do while we continued with sports and life in general. There was a time when my mother was in the hospital for a long period and my dad wanted to be there, but my mom sent him away telling him his obligation was to the church and the people of God and she would be fine. My mother had the heart of a "First Lady" of a church, this woman doesn't. She's making it about her and her needs.

She better throw them away-- that's ridiculous.

As A Pastor Myself, When My Wife Was Sick I Was By Her Side, My Deacon Came At Me One Time Because I Was Just A Little Late One Sunday Morning, I Told Him That My Wife Comes First And If That's A Problem You Can Have The Church Keys Now, After That I Wasn't Given Anymore Trouble From Him.

This has been one of my favorite episodes.. Wonderful Job Judge Star ⭐️

I hope he’s not counseling married people

I really can’t believe she let this man get away with saying the cancer that was killing his wife hit him harder than it hit her. HOW SIR when she was ALONE dealing with it because the lunch lady and the men of the church were much more important to you. Smh this man literally abandoned his wife to save face with his congregation and wondered how he ended up in divorce court🙄

The ending made me cry, What God has drawn together let no man put asunder and the update, they looked so happy. Praise God, I'm in tears. They look so happy that 10 years came off of both of them. Wow. Amen.

The only reason this man is there for that church the way he is , is for the collection. The closer he is to his members the bigger the collection

I am loving these episodes! Hope to meet Judge Star and Robert someday! Or even be a part of the jury! Classy and smart woman with so much knowledge!

I think he found the work at the church easier and more rewarding.

GREAT ADVICE JUDGE 🌟✝️🛐☮️💟

I can’t understand how you work at the church use church money but don’t attend church… as a First Lady 😵‍💫🫣🥴

Why does this grown man who is a whole pastor need counseling to do the basic things that a husband should do? Like what do you mean? He wasn't there when you got cancer twice and got C19? Did the whole sickness and in health part of his vows just skip him? He don't know how to be a husband. It just says what it is

It’s supposed to be God, Family, then church. I think Star is not the right person to counsel them. He is not supposed to put the church first. She loves and wants her husband like a wife is supposed to. They need spiritual counseling, not counseling by her. He needs to see her feelings and hear her.

The Judge is excellent. May God continue to guide her.

He needs to be mentored by a pastor with family who has navigated family and purpose/ the cal of ministry successfully .