Japanese Hookup Expert Explains Hookup Culture in Japan 

It’s okay Shun, I’m also a “hookup expert”

One of my Japanese teacher in uni once told us about how she spent the night at a love hotel once because she and her date missed the last train. She swears they only slept and even did homework because they had school the next day but the whole class was like suuuuure LMAO

Shun: What kind of features? I think you already know Me: Shun, I really don't.. :')

Holy shit! Japanese people use the term “rest” when they really want to have sex in a love hotel? A few years ago I was walking around Tokyo with a Japanese woman and she asked if I wanted to take a rest in a hotel room. Me, in my ignorance of Japanese culture, was like “why would I want to do that? Rent a room to take a nap in? It’s the middle of the day, let’s grab a coffee and sit in a cafe if you are tired of walking. I blew my chance and didn’t even know it!

you must be friend with your inner you ,Shun, it’s important

Oh my god. My awkward date in Korea makes so much more sense now. I kept trying to end it before he missed his last train but he was insistent on missing it which I thought just bizarre. Dude ended up sleeping at the station waiting on the early morning one cause I was not about to “take a rest” with him.

I’m outing myself as a weeb, but this explains a lot of anime moments where the Main character says to the love interest“oh we missed the last train” and they both blush.

I'm from Canada. It's so interesting that you say it would be considered creepy to invite someone back to your place, but in Canada it would be considered so creepy to just invite someone to a hotel! They would probably think you were treating them like a prostitute and be offended!

I just ask all the ladies if they wanna play Minecraft.... Hasn't worked yet.

Being gay, I've had a few Japanese lady friends explain how they deal with guys on dates. Every single one says "oh man, last train is coming!" is their favorite way to bail on dates. Some of them say if the date is going especially poorly, they'll look at their phone and just exclaim "last train!" and jump up and leave 🤣

Bit of advice: never plan hook ups or spontaneously miss the last train on Fridays/Saturdays in the middle of the city, because all the love hotels will be full and you'll end up walking around searching for hours and not find anything until the first train in the morning 😅

In my first summer in Tokyo, in the middle of the day, a married man I struck up a conversation with (in the high heat of summer) tried to convince me that there were these great “Rest Hotels” that were specifically designed to give people an air conditioning break during the day 😆 and wouldn’t I like to go to one, have a drink & watch some TV??

I think both SHUNchan and Yuta are both in the Japanese Sarcasm Hall of Fame...

It's etiquette to clean your body before the activity - Master Shoongway

Every time I watch your videos I feel like I have this cool Japanese friend who just casually talks to me about things Japanese people do and I love it! Keep up the good work!

Some years ago while in Japan, I had an amazing dinner with a Japanese girl, with lots of laughs and giggles. Afterward, we decided to take a walk around the city, we continued talking and having such a great time! It was already a bit late and I thought I understood well when she kept insisting that "she was so tired, and wanted to have some rest", so I walked her to the nearest train station hahaha

I like this Shun guy. He goes for quality not quantity like other *ahem* japanese youtubers.

Hooking up is pretty straight forward in Singapore. All you have to do is to perform mating calls like the kookaburra

Let me add that if you hook up with a married Japanese person and his / her spouse finds out, you can get sued and will have to pay damages that can be in the millions of yens. It is also worth noting that, this being Japan, any kind of legal conflict between a Japanese and a non-Japanese is highly likely to be ruled in favor of the Japanese side. When you go into Tinder or any other dating app, you will see the first thing that women write on their profiles is something like "no married men please". The reason, as you can see from the above, is not moral or ethical; it's an issue of legal liability and money.

I'm portuguese and we have a pretty open "hookup culture" and if a guy told me "Do you wanna go rest" I would assume he was telling me to f*ck off and I think that's pretty funny because of the real meaning of it in Japan.

Shun said “ at least I have friends” Me” I thought inner shun and shun were the same people 😂”

If err guy does this you would think the girl would of caught on n shiii

You just taught me something. As a naïve American woman I would have not got any of that because I am the type of person that takes things literally. Japanese Guy: "You wanna go take a rest?" Me: "Yeah, I am kind of tired. I could use a nap for a few hours until the train starts back up." Japanese Guy: "You want to go take a shower first?" Me: "Yeah, that makes since. It will save me time in the morning." In the bed my Japanese date starts removing my clothing. Turning around confused I would be like: "What are you doing? I thought we were resting till morning." lol. I swear that would be how my night would go in a nutshell, because I would never catch the hints. Now I know.

Wait a second, if they use fake names and not full face pics for apps to try to “hide,” how do you know you aren’t meeting someone you actually know🤔

Shun you always say you aren't funny but every video I find myself laughing. Give yourself some credit: You're hysterical!

I always thought they did tha first move but fuck it🤷🏻‍♂️

In Brazil, when we assume there's a possibility of something happening in the end of the date, we just shower and shave before we go have dinner, I think it's not that common showering right after getting to the hotel room, cause makes one think that his partner didn't shower before heading outside what may sound a bit dirty for us

I'm currently living in Taiwan, which was a Japanese colony until the end of WWII, so there are still some Japanese customs and traditions here, like what Shun mentioned about the "rest" moniker in hotels. When I first came here I had a date with a Taiwanese girl at a bar. The conversation was going quite well, but at 11:30 PM I told her I had to go, because I had to catch the last metro (I was not refusing anything, I just didn't know about the train excuse Shun mentioned, I was so naive back then lol) but she told me we could keep talking at her place, she however told me very clearly "but don't get any ideas, NOTHING will happen". Of course, EVERYTHING happened.

The ettiquette, how complicated and expensive is dating over in Japan, I think if that was the UK no-one would ever get laid lol.

When I lived in Korea I was told the “do you wanna get some rest?” line there is “do you want to have some ramen?” Lol 😂

In brazil there's no formula, some are very direct and some are not. Tinder is pretty big here, and people show their faces with no problem, you can send a very direct message calling the person to your place or something, or go to a date. We also have love hotels it's called "Motel" it's usually located in big roads where you have easy access by car since our public transportation is not that good, but i think it's more common go to someone's place. If you feel comfortable you can simply ask "Do you wanna go somewhere?" Once the date is coming to an end, and that is pretty much it hahahaha Here Girls have a way more freedom to ask a guy too

I had a one night stand in Roppongi club. Chick took me home, I took shower, she fed me after lmao I felt like a baby. I really felt like a baby when I found out how old she was 😭

Maybe a silly question (unaware Westerner here), but I read a lot of Japanese literature, and in one of Haruki Murakami's rare realistic novels, Norwegian Wood, set in the late 1960's, there is a lot of hooking up. Is the novel simply fanciful, or did the 1960's produce a much more liberal mindset about sex that has since disappeared?

Would anyone write the phrase. “Do you wanna go have some rest?” In Hiragana?

why do i always rewatch shuns videos like 3 times

Yo in my country, it takes months to eventually hook up with the girl you actually like. If you ask a girl to a hotel on the first date, you will get a bitch slap.

I went on a date in Japan with such a cute Japanese boy.. we stayed in the love hotel.. I took it literally. I was so shy. He was still so respectful. I hate myself 😭😭

Personally, I don't think I need to worry about hurting the guys feelings if I don't want to hookup. No means no, you're feelings can be sacrificed.

as a woman who had dated Japanese guys, this is so spot on and I love that they are always hygenic and subtle

I've never understood the part about hiding faces and names on Tinder because "someone I know might see me." If they see you, then that means that they're using Tinder too, which cancels out any possibility of blackmail or shame.

If the date goes well, I typically invite them over by saying "do you want to meet my cat?" And by typically I mean once. And I could've said anything else, really, but common... Kitty!

People might think I'm a total prude, but I'm glad people in Japan(in general) don't do all that nasty stuff I have known here in the U.S., especially in places like L.A. I think sexual relations should be something kept sacred and beautiful between a couple.

inner shun: i literally am you shun: i have friends, unlike you inner shun: *forgets that he is literally shun* wtf

Aside from the topic itself, I just wanted to say: your use of colloquial English expressions, like "sorry to break it to you", is really impressive! It's usually very uncommon for non-native speakers to use so many of these as well as you do because it typically comes from having lived a long time overseas and/or having a lot of exposure to native speakers around you (friends, etc). Anyway, I know about love hotels but I didn't know about the expression "do you want to have a rest?". It makes perfect sense once you explain it, though. Until I lived in Asia for a few years, the concept of taking a shower before you sleep with someone was completely foreign to me. Not that I'm an expert lol but I just hadn't heard of such a thing. I imagined it was something you'd do after the fact (for obvious reasons).

“Shun the hookup expert” that is not what I had in mind when I subscribed but it’s definitely why I stay here. Go shun 🤟

How to hook up: Step 1) Be handsome AF. Step 2) Be available Step 3) Allow the girls fight it out who gets the chance to talk to you first. Step 4) Penetrate them all sequentially

in southern usa, it's very... direct. and if it's not direct, it's only as subtle as "do you wanna come over?" LOL

In America, most people are not afraid to talk to each other during a date. Most of the time we know what we're there for and what is expected. No, you don't say, "You wanna Fuque", that would be to crass, but touching is ok, but communication is where you'll either fly or get put down. In other words, we don't like word games nor playing victim of verbal oppression.

Getting hookup advice from Shun is the single greatest start to my Saturday since Saturday morning cartoons.

I had a date when I was seeing a guy friend in Fukui Prefecture. He paid for everything and that made me feel weird to be honest. I’m very independent and I usually pay for everything. I could tell he was shy so in order not to waste the day with just sight seeing I did the first move and we did it inside his car in the dark. He said he loved how direct I was 😂. After that he drove me to Komatsu Airport and I went back to Tokyo lol. In my last day in Japan, he flew to Tokyo to see me before I left. So i guess we became fwb lol.

"do you want to go have some .. rest?" Indeed ☺️.

"So yeah i had this chick last night..." "It was chick-en Shu, you had food and not a hookup!" Kinda expected that.

It's so interesting to hear how hookups or one night stands works in different countries. In Sweden you'd most likely end up at someone's place since here love hotels doesn't exist the way they do in Japan. This is at least my experiences but there might as well be other people out there who says different things. Thank you for another good video and I look forward to what you'll be doing next! :)

I was friends with a lot of Japanese exchange students in University here in the US. Ngl, some of them definitely took the opportunity to "express" themselves sexually in a way they felt they could not in Japan. At least from what the very few of them were willing to tell me. All the more power to them! I guess I'm very liberal American minded in that sense, if you're being safe and everything is consensual, go for it :)

I've been to Japan exactly once and I had a hookup there a few times with the same girl. We went to Hotel Love in Nagoya. Some advice, make sure to pay attention as to whether or not there is smoking allowed in the room. We didn't know, and we chose a smoke-friendly room (we didn't smoke), and the pillows smelled really strongly of cigarettes. Didn't stop the magic of course, but the second time we went we picked a non-smoker's room and it just felt a lot more clean. It was super nice actually, it had a gigantic shower/bathroom and they had like disposable tooth brushes and razors, still sealed in a bag for you to use. Obviously soap and shampoo and stuff too, even skincare products. They also had a hitachi wand which we may or may not have used but I can't help but wonder if they clean those tools out every time or what, since there isn't a disposable version of that as far as I know. Fun stuff. Also guys, do karaoke. It's private and really easy to set the mood and serenade her. It's how we got things started each time lol...

hookups are not for everyone. actually stats show most dont like it or do not get any good feeling from it

Inner Shun sees through your lies and he will read you to filth...until you tell him he has no friends, of course. 😂😂😂

I wonder: how common is to just hook up and how common is it instead to pursue a relationship and *then* hook up? I mean that just from watching japanese tv shows and stuff it seems like any public display of affection is really frowned upon, so I wonder what changes from the moment you have "the" conversation and actually become a couple. It seems like you wouldn't even hold hands before, and then just go straight up to sex. Is that the case? I am curious since here in Europe things are very different. You can just want to hook up, but usually that is pretty straight forward as you woulnd't sleep with someone you are interested in on the first date, so if you do then it's generally considered a sexual relationship and that's all. It can evolve in time, but usually it stays like that. If you want a romantic relationship instead (or are at least open to it), instead you kiss, hug each other or things like that for at least a couple of dates, you just don't sleep with someone on your first date.

you look the other person up and down, smile, and ask, How YOU doin’?

Hookup culture doesn't make for a better society, in fact, it makes a society worse because it treats intimacy so cheaply. Sex basically becomes transactional and there is little respect for the person you are with since you are just using them to get yourself off. :(

I don't believe he has as hard a time with girls has he says... he's too adorable! 🥰😍

I’m American and don’t do hookups, but it’s still very interesting to see the cultural differences

wait no, I really want to know what kind of features they have in different types of rooms hahaha

In the UK it works like this.... Get wasted, go to a hotel, find out we don't have a short stay hotel system. Go to one of your houses, kiss, undress, fall asleep and wake up hung over and regret everything. Standard.

The Japanese Netflix and chill! That cracked me up 😂

"Japanese gender roles are outdated." Me: But that's exactly why I like Japanese women. I'm so tired of modern feminism gaslighting men.

everybody gangsta till shun start roasting himself

bruh being promiscuous should be stigmatised.. its never a good thing 😒

Just gotta hit em with the ecchi shiyou

Me: do you wanna take a rest? 😏 Girl: yea, i need to take a breather *sits on a bench

I would have expected both parties to shower before the entire date and then take a shower after the......resting

Man hookups in the US are way less complicated. Guys will invite a girl to their place or the girl will and most of the time they don’t shower or nothing. They just get down to business. Some dudes are bold enough to straight up ask the girl for some “rest” and that also goes both ways.

In the US, generally it's expected that we shower before the date, and that's usually clean enough if we decide to hook up. Also a common invitation for sex is something like "so you wanna come to my place?" Personally, I didn't sleep with anyone I didn't already know well, but if it were a casual hookup, I would have opted for a hotel room bc I didn't want them knowing where I lived, but also didn't want to be at their place.

Why don't you collaborate with legendary AV idol Maria Ozawa. She's got her official YT

I've exclusively been with the same partner since 2008, so I'm in the weeds when it comes to saying how it works now. It seems everyone in the dating/hook up mode uses dating apps, which is fine- no judgment on my part. It just seems mildly terrifying, especially with the ones who don't even speak to the prospective partner beforehand (just text). I've listened to WAAAAY too many YT horror story channels and now I'm certain I'd land a psycho in no time (side note: I'm gay and there've been more than a few hook up killers in the news in the last decade. See Mark Latunski and Bruce McArthur).

Shun, I have seen a few of your videos and no joke bud. This was the best, most well put and factual video I have seen about Japanese culture. Very, very well done!

Hmmm..guess we know how Shun likes his girls when he takes them to love hotels.Shaven and slathered in lotion!😂😂😂

This is pretty fun to watch. I studied in Ireland and weekends at the pub or after hours club was the hunting grounds for hookups. you can tell last call and closing time are approaching because guys and girls start desperately scanning the room to see if there is any one they find suitable to take home. It usually depends how drunk people are. I shared a place with other 2 flatmates (a guy and a girl), and the way I would find out if one of them had hooked up at the Pub or club is that I would find a string of clothes from the living room leading to their rooms, or random clothes in the bathroom or very loud music coming out of their door vary late at night. And it is not only Uni Students, My flatmate once actually ended up hooking up with an off duty police woman whose uniform jacket she forgot once she left and had to to the walk of shame coming back to the flat and I had to handed it to her because my roomate was away, that was awkward.

nice video, so commonly in the U.K. hook up line is often "Do you wanna Coffee?" especially if you have gone to someones place. a lot depends on the situation, phone apps seem popular people will get a hotel room if for some reason home isnt convenient or nearby most hotels dont question whats going on. in many respects the UK is fairly sexually liberated. picking up is common in clubs and bars. proper dating is probably more complicated and requires a bit of thought and planning. I think the first time I found out about love hotels was when i read to book"After Dark" アフターダーク haruki Murakami.

As it should be. Hookups have brought nothing but misery in America that’s why men go overseas to find decent women.

I love Japanese women. The culture is complicated and it would be easy to mess up not knowing this stuff

Hah, this was an interesting video. I would say in Canada if someone offered to take you to a hotel to hook up the implication is that 1. They’re embarrassed of you or 2. They have something to hide or 3. It’s a financially transactional situation. Much more of a “do you want to go to your place” or “do you want to come up for a drink” type discussion.

2:17 really explains what I see in Terrace House; when I started watching it I always said to myself, "why doesn't he/she make a move if they're interested?". Now I know.

I've dated many Japanese women in Okinawa, Tokyo, and Osaka. Since Japanese women won't really go out until their 21ish, they're so eager for excitement and learning something new. The key game is to break the touch barrier without scaring them off with your thirst, teach them something new like a new dance or recipe maybe a new word or dress style, then just flirt and get to know them. If you go to a Karoke bar or dance club, buy drinks for her friends. It helps make you look dependable and caring. What worked for me is that I would say I have an after hour spot for everyone. 9/10 times, the friends will offer her to go with you after the club instead of going elsewhere with them. Or, the friends will come with their date now everything just flows.

My understanding of the way it goes here is a guy will usually message a girl saying "lemme smash" and if she says ok, you're good

I've lived in Asia before, Never japan, but this whole "don't reveal your true intentions" or "be very vague about everything" is very true. I learned quickly to never be direct. I never stumbled upon the "do you want to take a rest" line though! That's useful.

Hookup moves are definitely different in Japan than where I live (Germany). Hook ups here happen at bars/clubs, house parties or through Tinder. You can be way more direct, but still want to avoid the word sex for the most part.

It's seems to me that it's soo difficult and time wasting and expensive to hookup in japan... In spain we usualy go to a bar(where we spend like 5 €) talk and then go to the house and do the deed. It's so much confortable

As a college student in America, it’s as easy as meeting a girl at some activities and asking to hang out afterwards. Just make sure to tell your roommate if you have one that you need some alone time. It’s extremely casual and open most of the time and some people have friends with benefits.

Yeah this is pretty spot on...... -Fuckboi English teacher in Osaka

I come from Sweden, I'd say it's pretty different here overall I think our culture is sex positive and since were very big on equality, women don't expect the guy to pay. It's actually pretty common for women to want to pay for themselves, because they want to be independent and not feel like they owe the guy anything.

"... And also, please tech me how it works where you are from..." Hah, I wish I knew...

Im from India and listening to you made me realize we asians have similar beliefs when it comes to these topics that they're only considered taboo. Good work on the video tho !

Just find yourself a good man Shun and live a happy life😉I'm free!

Bummed when Shun said he’s straight. 🥺

I don't have experiences with hookups but I guess in Italy we just do it wherever it happens if we can't go home AHAH like in the car, in the wood places like those

BRO I’VE NEVER BEEN SO EARLY ILY SHUN-KUN!! HAHAHAH

As an American male with zero experience in hookup culture, I personally hate how it's expected for me to want to hookup with everyone I meet. American society sucks since everyone assumes we're all sexually liberal.

I'm from Sweden and here hookups are super common, mainly so after clubbing. I feel like there's two types of people, those who go home with someone after the club and those who don't. There's not much slut shaming because it's so normalized to go home with someone else. It's mostly one night stands but could sometimes end up in something more serious if both of you feel a connection. You have to be a decent and attractive human being though to go home with someone else, I feel like most women have pretty high standards :)

Called me boring, but am I the only one who thinks hookups are just wrong ?