Thank you - this is fascinating. My mother said I was a grizzly baby - I used to lie in my pram all day, grizzling. Thirty years later, when my little brother got married, she told her DIL what a grizzly baby I was. I never asked her to listen to herself! Wouldn't you "grizzle" if you'd been stuck in a pram and ignored for days on end? When I was seven or eight, I contemplated running away, but didn't. If I couldn't cope, I didn't think they'd take me back, so I stayed and did my best to put up with it. I didn't have full-blown ODD, but I disliked being told what to do. I suspect it was because they would bark orders, expect instant compliance, and never lower themselves to explaining why they wanted what they wanted. I always asked why, and they hated that! "Because I say so and, if you ask me again, I will hit you" doesn't help your child to be confident and decisive! I still hate product instructions that tell me not to do something without explaining why.
I think that you're mistaken about the age of each phases. In the theory of development book by Crain, mentioned different ages in Bowlby theory of attachment!
Could a criticism of these theories that babies arent always raised by their mothers. More recent research shows that a baby will have a main caregiver even in a case with two Gay fathers?
