Jordan Peterson - A Good Father Helps You to Become Your Best Self 

Much respect to you man

Cam, I grew up with a father who served in the US Navy during World War II. He was also a coach when I was an adolescent and a young teenager. During those years of my life I learned how a grown man (mature adult) is to treat adolescents and teenagers who don't have a father (or mother). Now, I am the coach doing the same. Thanks to my father for teaching me that very valuable skill set.

How did you get onto doing that! I’m trying to do something very similar

same

the man is fucking brilliant.

I did it. Then i started to realise that he wouldn't like it. He wants you out. Up on your feet following meaning!!

Imagine how much better everyone would be to take in just a small bit of his lessons and advice. This is a real doctor.

Well... With bathroom breaks yes

What happens to those who do gain power, but do not accept responsibility?

@@Feber2001 corruption, tyranny or misery at best

But the ones who will, have the world right at their fingertips. Anything is possible for them

Brilliant comment

Clay Allison Power consumes them. Power controls them

Amen, Jones. Brilliantly explained.

Find other role models I'm your life and emulate them. Easy

I felt this way my whole life as well.

Infentie MK you answered to yourself, make it happen

How are you now ?

more power to you.

I hope you're doing well ❤️

hope yout doing well my man!

Happy Easter Much Love!!!

I’m gonna be 22 soon , and I would like to know who my dad is. Too many just didn’t have one.

Good for you, man. Good for you. 🙌

That’s so relatable lol

Let’s hear your dad’s side of the story.

Benjamin Kemper me! Omg wake up call! He is helping me move through grief, trauma.. pain

Just found him a few weeks ago and yeah I can't stop watching this guy. Delivers full on

I think he inspires us to do more with our lives, but in a no nonsense way that's not patronizing or makes us sound like children. Sort of the gruff father figure our generation needs, who tells us to get our shit together.

Only cuz it's a good source of information. He himself I think is a bit fukn sick and twisted with his own ego.

I just watched this same video 6 times in a row . I also just forwarded it to my 2 daughters in hopes they watch it .

Sounds like a more complete variation of "from great power comes great responsibility".

Harun Suaidi Yes good reminder. And similar to, “To whom much is given, much is required.”

Kgbme. Dad's leave sometimes get over it pussy

Yeah but only responsibilities in certain areas.. what responsibilities they taking for the ecological crisis?...

I bika, who is “they”? They is you. We’re all responsible for any and every crisis. This is exactly the point of the speech. The more you take the responsibility on as your own, the greater chance you have to fix the problem and find meaning in your life. Blaming other people for the world’s problems, and waiting for a savior, does nothing but call upon death itself to take you away.

Unless your mother is smothering and overprotective. It is no good what so ever to feel or be dependent on your own mother. You won't make it in the real world unless you learn how to detach yourself from your parents and become self-reliant. It does not matter if you make them proud or not or even what they think because the only thing that matters is what YOU think and what YOU want to do with your life regardless of their approval/disapproval. Never let yourself become dependent on others or becoming a slave to other people's opinions of you. You will delude and stress yourself out unecessarily. Strive to become the best person you can be no matter what people think of you and always maintain an outward focus, not inward focus. That is the key to success and happiness.

@@True38 it's not about your mother being smothering but losing your mother at the age of 8 and your father abandoning you and you're left alone in this world where nobody else cares about your well-being

Sob story! Now get your act together. Sort yourself out. The next generation depends on you and I getting ourselves right, otherwise we'll take the shit show a whole other level bigger than our parents.

What a story... Good luck living a healthy life with balanced decision making coming from such a place. I hope you'll be able to somehow turn it into a positive, like you do sharing this as a reminder to us younger folks. As a 27 year old I feel 20 year olds are privileged. Guess we should all be grateful wherever we are to be exposed to such wisdom.

James Master Slayer I think you got the intent of my comment wrong.The intent was to claim that kid need proper guidance and proper parents to get a chance at a good life and that a lack of that can be so destructive.And that such guides as Dr Peterson are a godsend for a confused kid.As far as myself in relation to others,I have done a lot of good around me.Always been there for others and have changed lives for the better in small and big ways.Actually ,caring for other before caring for myself has been my downfall.

John Le Y'know, I've never had to experience a situation where my father wouldn't teach me and my mother despised me, and I truly am sorry that you had to go through that. But have you ever given your life and your ways to Jesus? Man, he's the real father, even though you can't see Him, you are still able to feel His presence and love. The Bible says: “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" Isaiah 49:15 He's able to fill you with joy, true joy, joy that no human can even imagine, my brother. He's the true Love, I guarantee you that you'll be filled with Love. Forgive your parents if you haven't and look for Jesus, He's still at the door of your Heart, knocking, waiting to be answered. With Love, Your brother.

Amen. (From someone who did not enjoy a good father/son relationship.)

me too dude. lost my dad when i was too young to know him but i'm picking up the pieces. Boy its hard, but we do it because the next generation needs us to get our act together. ! Peterson is my hero!

You picked a good father. :)

I don't think I'm wrong when I say that many of us are drawn to Peterson because he radiates the aura of the father we didn't have. That's a bitter-sweet realization if I've ever had any.

tyson alba d

better no father than shitty father

Good luck to you. It sounds like you are facing reality with rare self-understanding, which is the first step in your tough journey. It seems you have the intelligence and inner resources to make it. Continue to be your own champion and seek good examples to guide yourself.

It's great to read this man, really. Unfortunately most people here have the opposite. My father myself was extremely tirannical and not only that, explored all ways imaginable to laugh at my failures and flaws. I honestly don't remember a time he's ever put me up or said something good about me. Just to you know, when I was a teen, 14 years, he spanked me hard because I telled him that had some difficulties with one girl in special. He punched me and started saying that I am gay for not knowing how to fuck a girl and he never had help with those things, without no basis to saying that. I became so perturbated by that event that I would only give my first kiss at 20, severely disturbed by my love shyness which I very proudly overcame after with self-development programs.

Katy m you’re very lucky

@@baussier134 god ur dad is a fucking piece of shit for doing that too you. If that was my dad I be glad as hell when he would fucking be dead.

You're lucky! My father was exactly the opposite. I hate him so much.

Thank you for this ray of sunshine in a comment section filled with horror

Hopefully.

Mr. Peterson doesn't sound brilliant; he sounds like a good father. Unfortunately many people today have never heard this common wisdom spoken before.

@@AnnInFL Wisdom is seldom common but it is always based upon truth.

inSynced they are lucky them!!

Actually I think this a man who speaks common sense into people. We've bombarded, it's true, about other not so relevant issues that are important but not fundamental. A lot of what Jordan says has been forgotten by mane generations. That's why we grew up so messed up.

do you really think it's just throwing away the fragmented pieces? As a guy who is trying to get over this it doesn't seem like that is the answer.

The damage is done, there's no way to get what you never had, you incorporate trauma and move on, like with much of life. But the emptyness never truly goes away. (Fatherless since 10 yrs old, and still suffering for it)

I've found it beneficial to both establish quality relationships with other males, even if they're your peers, and also to form a sort of artificial father/mentor from various role models such as characters in film (Rocky), writers of books (Marcus Aurelius), and other wise men such as JP himself. It's not ideal, but you can learn from these men and build yourself up using some of their wisdom and guidance.

You will always suffer for not having had your father, but you will also have insights and understanding that people who had their fathers cannot fathom. It’s a curse and a blessing, depending on context and circumstance, much like anything else.

I always kinda knew my anger stemmed from the fact that my father chose to not be in my life. I felt a rage that derived from knowing that this kind of start in life would put me behind my peers in development. I can express that now, but at the time I felt totally out of control of myself at times. Although I have analyzed myself thoroughly over the years, watching this particular video of Dr. Peterson's seemed to make my understanding that much clearer. I have never heard of him until today, but I have probably watched 50 youtube videos of him speaking on a wide variety of topics over the last several hours. I actually cried during one video where he cried too, speaking on the topic of the many young men that are crying out for someone to encourage them. I think I got so emotional on that video because for the first time someone actually put into words the way I felt about my upbringing. My mother was a hard worker, but never supportive or encouraging, and still isn't. I only say that because it's important in this scenario. She is my only family, so therefore, the only one who could truly play that role. The fact that she was incapable of that for whatever reason, may be the dominant factor in my success. I have always been an overachiever and excelled in any sort of competition, be it mental, physical, etc. I think that I was always on a mission to validate myself the only way I knew how, considering I wasn't getting it elsewhere. As a result of this type of drive, I am wondering if the reason I am a trash talker, in sports mostly, is because I had to be the one to pat myself on the back. I was always conscious of the type of odds I was defying with all of my accomplishments. Not to sound arrogant, but I definitely got the most out of my physical ability and potential. I am a little under 5'8", so it was extremely gratifying to be able to best athletes much much bigger and stronger. I don't know if it's my personality type that led to this type of drive or the desire to show my father that the biggest mistakes he ever made was leaving my behind to think I was unworthy of his love and attention. Either way, I do know that the truth is the other way around. He was not worthy to stand in the presence of the man he wished he could be.

Lucien Milner On a social level, this is typically how autocrats come into power. Think Napoleon.

If u have daddy issues

LMFAO it happens.

....and Baby Boomers, too!

And gen z

And GenX….

Jordan Bollocks Peterson.

Im in Vegas WYA

He Was .

Dud30ify From God's lips to your ears, Jordan is a saint in my mind.

What have you done after hearing his message?

Because their faders were incarcerated?

@@daveruda or they left the women and the kid. Different reasons, same result.

Absolutely. The lack of good fathers is an epidemic and no one talks about it. Especially my poor black community

“Thug culture” lol

You either become a thug or a woman pleaser from that

Hey, could you by any chance link that video with Camille Paglia ?

/watch?v=r8-jRZiXbe4

I'd say its fair to say most parents don't really know what they are doing. They muddle through, try to do the best they can, and what happens, happens. As long as they love you, and are trying to do what they think is best for you, almost any mistakes can be overcome. My cousins had to deal with a mentally unstable and emotionally abusive mother in my aunt. But my aunt still lived close to my grandparents, and my cousins had them to fall back on for guidance, stability, and as roll models. They all turned out beyond great. So yeah, an extended family can be incredibly important. But family can also be what you make it. My dad dated a psycho bitch because the sex was good and he was a perv. This crazy lady had two daughters, one of whom was only maybe six or so when he finally wised up and left her (she broke in and trashed his place to remind him he made the correct choice). The older daughter was able to move out and make her own way, but the younger daughter was stuck. He went to the courts and lobbied to have her care transferred to a cousin of hers who was stable, who eventually adopted and raised her. She turned into an incredible young lady as well. It is within all of us to be the right person making the hard decision.

She may have called herself a feminist but I don't think that's sufficient grounds to reject someone's points based solely on her definition of being a feminist. She is certainly not a feminist in the contemporary use of the word, thankfully. Her comments on the nuclear family make sense in the context of her observations of the extended (working class) family. The nuclear family is more clearly delineated and demanding in its distribution of labour.

Enigma of the Absolute the multi generational family is greater than a nuclear family on its own but the nuclear family is literally the lynch pin and the most essential part

mangaka08 lmao

eat shit

Masque Rade you still have time. Ur only 22. Make the decision NOW!

You have plenty of time. Few know who they are at 22. You will get there.

Masque Rade Dang man. We’re the same.

Your dad was a zero. Sorry you had to hear that from him

Derek Stark same...

Derek Stark yep, pass it on.

my dad too, he made me the cowardice beta pussy i am today because i grew up being scared of him and never got along with him

Emmanuel Goldstein 😦

same

This comment deserves to be on top

Damn man you’re absolutely right.

Jordan Peterson is not without flaws. But one things for certain, he's helped more people globally than you ever will.

Rumple 4_Skin Thank you for your service and may God bring peace and happiness to you and your child/children.

I believe you don't have to be perfect. But you have to try and care. Kids are very smart. They will know. Best wishes to you and your son.

How are you disabled and how much money do you get from the American taxpayers every month

Hey man, just wanted to say, don't worry about being perfect. You don't need to be perfect. You just need to be "good enough." Do the best you can, learn from the mistakes of your parents, watch JP, and try hard not to do anything terribly damaging, but don't fret over your imperfections. It's easy to tell from your comment that you care and truly want to be a good parent, so you're already doing a fine job. Congrats, and best wishes to you.

They don't want us to think for ourselves...

Sounds like a good man. A lot of the commenters here had shitty parents. mine were ok. I think I learned what do do and what not to. I hope. Its hard to understand how some dads treat their kids so bad.

I get things wrong with my kids more than I get things right. I raised my voice or scolded them at least once every few days from the time they were 3yrs old to about 8 and tapered off. Now that they are 10, 12 & 14 it happens maybe once every month or so. It might be because they're more mature now or I've improved my patience but I still can't forgive myself and trying to repair my relationship with them. I spend almost every other night thinking about how horrible or scared they must have felt and if I've scarred them. Every night I stand at their bedroom door and silently say sorry and pray that they will be healthy and resilient humans. Maybe some day they will let me know how I've impacted them good or bad. I'm good and confident at a lot of things but parenting is a puzzle to me.

carlotapuig how dare you "god bless him" while not believing in God. That triggers me

F I hope that's a joke

carlotapuig Not religious great tell the man you as a real person really praise him which he will much more value than asking a non-existent invention:thing (god) do something (bless) for him which is obviously not going to happen. your own praise is high value in itself😊

The Porcupine she didn’t have better words. forgive her for she meant well. see my advice to her which may have been enlightening for want of a better word.

Word

cosmosis Stefan Molyneux and the others above.

Ravi Zacharias, C.S. Lewis, John Lennox, William Lane Craig, The Apostle Paul, and James White.

Daniel Bonevac

If you're wondering about any of the classical philosophers, if you like Peterson you're likely to enjoy the stoics, especially Socrates. I do at any rate, because Socrates was all about challenging the status quo and questioning ideas and methods held as self-evidently 'true'. When the oracle at Delphi proclaimed him to be the wisest man alive, he was confused because he said that "all I know is that I know nothing." To me, I find a lot of common... philosophical base between Socrates and Peterson for that reason. Peterson has ideas, but he has definitely carefully considered whether or not he is right or just wants to be right - you can hear it in the way he talks. Also, Peterson has a reading list on his website, so that's another great place to start.

I highly recommend Joseph Campbell's work on the hero's journey

ravenshireful Thank you for sharing this Sir. I was in a position similar to that in my own life until my father walked out when I was 10. I'm only 19 now, and I am still trying to overcome the problems it left me with, but knowing someone else out there was strong enough to overcome it all gives me great hope. Thank you so much sir, may God bless you and all those you love.

Honestly i don't understand that either. A good father is very hard to come by because it is hard to be one.

That's rough. The same thing happened to me in terms of apathy towards education. It takes a lot of time to readjust and realize that education is a miracle if you don't encapsulate it in one of the worst environments for children and adolescents in the Western world. The father-grandfather part of your comment reminds me of markafc83's comment about the "nuclear family" environment. If your dad is a miserable father, chances are you have NO male role models for a very long period of time. After all, almost all primary school teachers are female. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but that means there's an unduly high responsibility on one single person to perform a difficult set of tasks with no mandatory education or experience with those tasks, on the simple merit of that person having impregnated someone. And who can blame our fathers? They got blown into the same flawed system under even worse conditions. Most of their parents were _way_ worse. The cycle continues. We really ought to spend more time with psychology and even parenting in high school. Even the realization that my parents are simply fucking terrible at parenting in every conceivable way is very liberating. Because that shifts my attention to changing myself, rather than hoping for a change in someone else. But it's not going to happen. Education systems are way too conservative for that. Dutch schools still teach Latin, a convention from the fucking Victorian Era. In the meanwhile, progressive fields like science or finances or construction or whatever change radically almost every single decade. These realizations are very empowering, in my opinion. It makes us realize that these issues are so ingrained in society that we can't hope to fix them on our own. That means that in the meanwhile, we should direct our energy at what we can change, which is ourselves.

Dude this is so similar to my situation and resonates so much with me.. I'm just about to enter college and I'm trying to stay strong, need to remind ourselves that only we are responsible for our future and happiness. LETS GO

Thanks for sharing...I had a similar experience.

I've found financial support only gets you so far. Sure not having college debt and having a car is great. But what is the point of life in general if you have no one to live it with? I need to finish 12 rules for life. Also my last name is also Joy, small world.

Try to comfort your mom. She has had a rough life, too. I hope you will have healing.

@Ligeia D.Aurevilly Well no one wants to live the literal worst life they can. My comment stated that money doesn't buy you happiness and success alone doesn`t work either. Because what is the point in success if you are the only one that knows about it and can benefit from it. Kinda combining Peterson's idea of meaning through responsibility with an individual/group of people that also find that responsibility meaningful.

@Ligeia D.Aurevilly It seems selfish to make a foundation (core meaning in life) in something that only benefits myself. Finding meaning in work that is also meaningful to others makes it exponentially more meaningful in that it helps people outside of myself. Like if Bill Gates kept all of his computer ideas to himself and no one else came up with them or knew, it would be less meaningful to him than if everyone benefited from his accomplishments. Instead of it just being, "yeah I did something pretty cool", to being, "Not only are these accomplishments pretty cool but they are making a difference in someone's life".

True!

That's very unfortunate, my parents weren't much better which is why I use their mistakes as a template for what NOT to do.

Some people shouldn't be parents...

JOSUE DAVILA be a man

Cringe alert 🤢

My dad used to torture and drown me. He would beat me with his shoe and laugh as I fainted covered in blood. Want to repeat your bullshit sentence? I WISH I was fortunate enough to not have had a dad.

haha...great answer Chance Huff

There will ALWAYS be a person who got it worse. It's not a good argument to say you are that person.

My mother is the oedipal mother and I have an absent father.

no father is better than shitty father