“Freud said, no one can be a man unless his father has died” “Newman said, Yes but that death can take place symbolically” That crushed my soul as I’m going through this
I know. I’m 20 and i’m telling you bro I really think this information will help me take control of my life and get to where I need to be at fast so I can’t be independent . My only wish is that I can create a healthy relationship with my father. I got so use to abuse I forgot that he is tormenting me, yet something deep down says I should be respectable and still loving to him. This really blew my perspective away.
@@babyrob9419 Same shit af. Moved to my own rental apartments but still have shit left from abusive tiranium father. So now I'm wondering what did I miss and what should I learn to become just calm confident male bs my parents didn't teach me anything.
At the moment when parent and their children treat themselves as equal and ask each other for counsel on different subjects is when you have a prosperous relationship.
That's why I think I developed an alcohol addiction to deal with the suffocation of my own identity to deal with the pressures of being the first born indian-american female in my family. Little brother still lives with them and has major depression, (I think also because of over suffocation of identity as he is an only son and in Asian cultures they love their sons way more). I am so much happier living on my own now. I know I'm smarter than them too, and I am now at 30, sober and finally trying to find out who I really am. Isnt that sad This? Atleast I am aware.This shit is hard. Parents need to stop projecting their broken dreams onto their children. That's not why we were fucking born.
Yeah. Hear you there. I'm only 23, so thank God, i'm waking up muchhhhh earlier. Holy fck. Atleast you're awake now, and not snapping when you're like 45, that would have been a REAL mess.
@@themaverick2219 yep then his daddy issues would have also affected her child Like my daddy who wanted me to become a superman without any flaw, he being the eldest son of 3 was supposed to be most successful, but i know that is not the case, from my childhood all a heard from him is NO NO and NO, don't know what he wanted me to become All i wanted from him till childhood was some love Or to listen that i had done good, I have been pretty good at studies, I had many scholarships (although this is a good side effect of his rudeness as I always tried to get dad's approval) but never got. If there's any memories of him that i could recall is him beating me with his fist, beating me with stick, or throwing me out of his house in front of everyone. I have a thousand wounds not just mentally but also physically he broke my nose so bad that I had to get surgery, my inferior turbinates in my nose had to be removed as they were damaged so bad Trust me that idiot is going to die alone
I thought my dad knew EVERYthing. I was 15, looking at a wall and I asked him how they made plywood. He said "they mix glue and a bunch of wood chips. .......i mean id guess". For the first time i realized he was just guessing, using common sense but still guessing. All those questions i had asked, he didnt know any more than I did! Google became my father from then on. Lol.
my father was sometimes so nice and then without warning hed yell at me, threaten me and sometimes even do things to me, so i would always try to keep him happy, to impress him so that he wouldnt yell, hit or tell me i was worthless. around 11 i came out to him, just to realize that he was extremely trans and homophobic. this sort of shattered my view of him bc u see, ik that its BAD that he did those things but i excused it, but when he said things like that it didnt just affect me, it affected others. when seeing how others were badly affected by things my father did to them, i realized maybe my father isnt so perfect. i tried to squash this knowledge, saying it was my fault he was like this, why wasnt i normal, if i was normal id impress him and hed be nice again. another time, he hit my sister and once again, i realized even if i could say "it was my fault" when it happened to me, i could nvr blame it on others, so i said it was my fault he hit her. this obvs gave me trauma and my daddy issues r rly bad. reading through the comments of ppl who suffer like me comforts me, and i rly resonated w/ jordan's speech
My dad left when I was 9 so I have never felt the need to “impress” my father. I’ve had two stepdads since and I haven’t tried to impress them either. I have not really dealt with or even put much thought into the abandonment until recently and I’m in shambles. I’ve kept it bottled up so long and I’m now realizing things that are throwing my stability through a loop. Realized that even when he was around he wasn’t actually there. I’ve never had a biological father. Makes me question something Peterson talks about often: the concept of saving your father from the belly of the whale. Still trying to figure out what that means for me.
well with not having a biological father you probably find fathers in culture eg films, books , youtube vids (like this one) ,etc so thats where he is for you . Thats why peterson represented the symbolic distinction between the father and mother as culture and nature .
I will never forget the first time (at about age 25) when my father asked ME for advice on a matter. I knew he suddenly was acknowledging I was an adult man.
if a man worships you, That means You're your own god. You have an expiration date like milk one day youll be, Miserable, deppressed, fat, ugly, youll only attract Nasty guys that have no self respect.what a great life you live. hahaha
@@ShinbrigTV absolutely, I am expected to get married (which I don't entirely feel is worth it at this point) simply because it's the only option that they see as morally acceptable
I've watched for months and have been extremely influenced by Jordan's knowlege and insight on many many areas of life's friction. But here he is wearing a jacket that exagerates his actual shoulder width. What the hell? Am I missing the message here?
No kid wants to hear: „Get your ass together!“ First of all, as a father, you should love your kid. Kids are no soldiers who wait for your instructions.
