journaling through heartbreak 

Hey guys, I’m reading every one of your comments, and I appreciate it all very much! I do want to clarify that I don’t think he’s a bad guy at all. We’re at different stages right now, and I don’t want any negativity directed towards him! I love you all lots, and thanks again for all of the thoughtful comments and support❤️❤️

Guys can we please drop a “virtual hug” chain for Carrie?👇

My son lost his battle to cancer 16 months ago. He was 21. Journaling is definitely a way to process our pain. Wish my words were a balm for your heart, but pain is something we learn to live with. Love you!! ❤️

Listen she showed apart of herself today, it is beautiful. Do not take advantage of her in an toxic way.

Your future husband could be balling his eyes out to because he also went through a break up. You’ll find each other and you will know it is meant to be. God always has a reason on why these things happen, and if you ever feel lonely, he is always with you. He loves you, he created you. And you also have over 60k people who love you no matter what. Stay strong ❤️💕

My sister was murdered when I was 7 and journaling popped into my life then. I pretended my journal was my sister and this was my way of talking to her but I didn't journal daily at all. I suck at that but coming across your channel makes me want to try because journaling is so powerful. I hope your doing okay Carrie

Your vulnerability in this video is so raw and open and beautiful. It is so selfless of you to put something like this out there in hopes to help even one person. You are such an inspiration in SO MANY ways. You are going to find someone equally as wonderful and beautiful as you!!

are you ok? Sorry you're going through something really tough. we love you

I just got over a friend "breakup" that happened about a year ago and it really helped me even more to see that I'm not the only one who's been through this pain. For most of the time I was trying to get over it I felt like my feelings weren't valid and that I was just trying to get attention but now that I'm mostly over it I'm thinking "why did I think that? Literally no one knew I was suffering. I told no one." I really wish I had a video like this when I was working through emotions because it would've been so helpful. (:

I am sorry to hear that hun. stay strong.

For some reason this video popped up in my feed during my own heartbreak. You are so unbelievably strong for being vulnerable. I know it's been a year, healing is not always linear, but I hope you're doing better.

Stay strong carrie you will find someone great just like you. We are all with you ❤️❤️❤️

I know exactly how it feels, I went through such an extremely hard breakup, that was so very toxic, so controlling, and everything that was said still hurts me months after it all happened. I struggled with my mental health after we broke up, he kept me together for so long, and that’s when everything truly went downhill. He started being toxic and controlling, and I started spiraling. I couldn’t hold the weight on my heart together anymore. I became depressed, had major anxiety, and it was a nightmare. It felt impossible to do anything. Slowly, I started to heal. Another guy came into my life surprisingly quickly, and he taught me to love again. He started healing my heart, and even though I still have anxiety, I’ve been doing a lot better. I’m still trying to control my bad habits I had developed, and I’m still healing. But I got through it. I got through hiding my feelings. I got through the long days of feeling lonely. And you know what, I’m okay. And you are going to be okay. Take every little thing you do as an accomplishment. Every morning you get out of bed. Every day you eat one meal. Every sip of water you drink. Trust me, you can get through this. Even if you do it by yourself, learn to be proud of those small accomplishments. Every two steps forward might equal a step backwards, but even if you feel like everything is impossible, and the world is against you, you have to find something to be proud of yourself for every day. Don’t focus on the negative things, but the positive sunny days, the pretty way the sun shines through the trees, sunsets, the smell after it rains. You got this okay? Trust me. Comment down below the one thing you’ve done today that you are proud of. And please if you need to vent, DM me. Talk to a friend, don’t have any friends…? Here’s my Instagram (@liliagerlach) I’ll be your friend. I’ll check up on you. I’ll send you cute posts to make you smile. Thanks for reading all of this, never forget that you matter. 🦋🤍

I havent been in any relationship or breakup but I hope that you get past this heartbreak and im sending love

I'm so sorry Carrie about what happened.

You are soooooo sweet and kind like even at your lowest you still think to make a video ro help others ♡ dont push yourself too hard we love you

When I went through a heartbreak listening to music and watching your videos help me feel better as well as journaling. Hopefully you find someone better I'm sorry to hear that stay strong Carrie.

I don't know how to console someone but I believe in you 🥰 you can do this here is a heart from me because I love you ❤️

Carrie, thank you for sharing such a personal and emotional experience. Heartbreak is such a private and lonely thing and I'm so glad you have a coping mechanism to help you through it. You've always been here for all of us and now it's our turn to help you. You aren't alone; we're all here for you. Take as much time as you need and take care of yourself. We're proud of you

Keep your head up. Heartbreaks happen all the time. You will get through this. I believe in you.

I am sorry Carrie I had a break down before I write stuff like this in my diary and I am sorry 😢 I respect your privates honestly

Love sent from everyone who watches this vid💙 We will always be by your side❤️❤️❤️❤️

I've never gone through a break-up yet, so I can't fully empathize, but I've gone through things that caused me to feel denial and hopelessness and anger and grief, and I know first-hand that it's very hard to keep going. Life can be hard, but it's worth it to try your best and be who you are. I have a hard time asking for help, too, because I feel like I'll be a burden or that people will just see me and help without me asking. But it really does help to talk about it. You are a very strong person and I wish you the best.

I hope everything gets better for you, and we are always here with you!

I'm 53. My daughter is 22 and going through her first heartbreak. I can't believe how it has brought us closer. I always tell her it's just a different heartache. You feel like you are dying and you want to. But you WILL get past it. It's a part of life for most people. And it never gets any easier no matter our age. But sometimes better things happen.

Hope you are OK. I went through a bad break up after 6 years. It gets better. You will be ok and find someone perfect for you.

It's hard to watch you cry, especially the person who gave me inspiration to write. I hope you'll be okay. Love your inspirational videos. You got this Carrie❤❤❤❤😢

girlie,, i want to cry for you. i don't have any experience with breakups but i can feel your pain. i hope you can stay strong and just know that you have so many people who are cheering for you. we love you SO SO much, more than you could imagine, and i know you'll get thru this awful time and you'll come out stronger than you ever were before ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Carrie, don’t cry and don’t worry. Life isn’t perfect, and we all have ups and downs,highs and lows..Know that if you’re loved and that you have your RU-vid family here. We all know how you feel and we understand you..I know how hard this might feel, but don’t better and I know you can get through this and you are going to be stronger! ❤️

i hope you’re ok in the end ❤️ make sure you take care of yourself :(

Journaling is an emotion 🥺💜

I'm so sorry Carrie stay strong 😁hope you feel better soon

I'm glad you're doing better now. You have helped me see that it is okay not to be okay. Many things have helped me in that department, but this video was truly amazing and so raw. I am so glad you made it! I've never broken up with someone, been in a relationship, but I have been in a very one sided love with my best friend. So I can't imagine what you went through. But thank you Carrie for aiding me in realizing my feelings are valid. It can be very hard sometimes for everyone. I hope you are doing better and keep moving forward, like my favorite quote: "sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step"

Hey Carrie! Even though I am aromantic (no romantic feelings or desires), I feel so so sorry for you. I definitely have no idea how it feels, but I just want you to know that everythings going to be okay. Youll find a guy as great as him in the future. You showing us your bad experiences helps us so so much. It makes me feel less alone when im dealing with negative emotions. Stay strong, carrie. 💜

Everyone goes through this at least once in their life time.. Stay strong queen and know that we all love you and will no matter what 💕❤️

It’s okay. We’re all in this together and you’re never alone. I’m always here to support you.

We’re right here with you I hope you get trough this. ❤️❤️❤️ stay strong

Carrie, I am so sorry for your breakup, don't worry, we are all here for you to cheer you up!

You are Strong and brave you will get through this

I was journaling and it helped me realize how toxic my past relationship was. I realized it wasn’t good for me so I left. Journaling really helps me see my problems from a different perspective and look back on the way I felt.

Awh I hope u will find the true love of your life

Lets all appreciate that she still makes videos thru this . We love you Carrie

You made me cry just watching❤️😭

So sorry it going through all of this but everything will be okay so pls take care❤️

I love you so much!!!! I am so sorry!!!! We are here for you!❤️❤️❤️ I love that you are showing how you are getting better.

carrie, just know that we all support you in your journey and all that you go through. you are not alone, and I really hope that you feel better soon

It's ok carrie I'm sad for u 😔 but were with u dont worry

We are all here with you don't worry

I'm so happy that you shared this to us and I just want you to know we're in this with you 🙂❤️.

remember not getting what you want can be a wonderful stroke of luck love u so much saty strong

I want to hug you so badly right now and say that everything will be alright

Dw sis we're with you! ❤️

hope you are doing better now, i know this must have been so hard but you still remembered to take care of yourself and took your time to heal. sending much much love and hugs

I’m sorry Carrie that you’re going through this, I’m also having a hard time with life. My attackers (brother and his wife) came to finally apologize to me after two years (because my parents made them). It was hard for me to get through that today. I told them what I thought (in a harsh way), but I accepted their “apologies”. I’ve been crying and journaling most of my night. I know about protecting yourself and your heart, I’ve been fighting that for a long time. I still feel like I’m fighting for myself but it’s hard when you feel like everyone is against you. Ps: I remember my first break up, it was awfully messy. He is a nice guy, but it didn’t work out. I cried for a week straight, my friends really helped. Eventually you’ll find someone for you. For me, I started talking to a guy recently, and he’s been really good to me. I talked to him today about everything that happened and he made me feel better about myself. Everything is going okay now, but I’m still hurting and that part will be there for a bit. Takes time to heal.

Hi Carrie, I hope you know we'll be here with you the whole way. I can't speak from experience, but I know how difficult it must be. Thank you for sharing this and other emotional experiences with us. It really shows what might be going on in other peoples' lives outside of what they show on camera. I love you so much. Stay strong Carrie, you _will_ get through this.

Hey Carrie I've been your silent viewer since last year. Sending you lots of hugs and love. You're indeed beautiful and loved. You'll get through this, i believe you will. Anyway i have been journaling since march 29 last year, all because of you and it has been great, going through life with pen and paper. Take care, i love you🤍

I'm sorry you're going through this. You are so much stronger than you think you are. I had covid a few months back and that's when I found your videos

Don't worry Carrie we're with you!

Aww Carrie❤ I have had my heart broken many times before, not just by my exes. You are a strong women and you will get through this ❤ You will get through this and I know the feeling that you will never be happy again but you will! Hope you feel better, and I am thinking of you❤❤❤❤❤

I hope ur ok. We r here for u! ❤️

i felt soo bad watching her cry and journal, this hurt my heart. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK CARRIE!!!

Girl girl girl ughhh heart break hearts it really does. I went through one last year it’s been 1year and a couple months. It was so hard. I’ll be so honest with you I cried for months. I stopped crying only after the 10month mark. It was day and night. I remember I actually cried at work. It was my 2week being there aswell. It felt like I had no control over myself. I stopped eating I was truly living off of my tears. I dropped 14kg. Breakups don’t only break your heart but honestly break a part of your soul. It feels like such an over dramatic thing to say. It fucking changes you from the inside out. Staying awake was so hard for me aswell. Sleeping was my only escape from the pain, but I learnt the hard way you can’t sleep through pain and trauma. It’s got to be felt otherwise it just builds up and up until bang a million and more feelings wash over you that you avoided. Heartbreak pain is not like any physical pain I’ve ever experienced. You can’t take painkillers for it you can’t put a plaster on it. It’s just there…the only thing you can do is cry and accept the days as they come. You’ll have days where you feel like you’re completely over it and that if your ex fell down and broke his nose you’d feel absolutely nothing and other days you actually just want to die as dramatic as it does sound. You’ll probably question why and how. Just know everything happens for a reason. You’ll most certainly go through the 7 stages.Denial and bargaining are usually the hardest to pass. You may circle back to it a couple times and that’s okay. It’s also okay to be angry, fuck it even write a pros and cons list about them. Things they did that made you furious but you never spoke about to them completely trash them if you must. Then ask yourself if all the cons about them you tolerated was worth the pros. You will have questions you’ll probably never have answers to and that’s okay do not under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE go and ask him the whys or ask him any questions. It honestly doesn’t matter what they say it’ll hurt. Talking to your ex is like walking back into a house that was on fire that you had already escaped from and expecting to not get burnt and hurt again. Now I’m not sure the circumstances of the breakup I honestly don’t think it matters because a breakup hurts regardless of how it happened. Don’t let anyone tell you to just get over it or try and invalidate your very much so valid feelings. Move at your own pace. You will honestly appreciate your alone time more and will have so much more of an appreciation for it. Remember journaling comes in many different forms. I found it so hard to journal on paper. My mind was moving so much quicker then my hand could write. You should dabble in video diaries. It gives your wrist a bit of rest too lol. I know you included a few snippets of you talking but it was more directed at us. Try talking to the camera like you’re talking to the future you a year from now that no longer cries herself to sleep and no longer has him as a first thought when she wakes up. It’s “self therapy” I guess. Also block them on like everything. It’s okay if you stalk them here and there on a burner account. You will stop eventually. It’s like a form of self harm if you think about it. No matter what you see it will hurt. If they are happy and posting it it will hurt. If you see they’re posting their sad you’ll be pissed there’s no winning. It is hard to not reach out to them. Separating from someone you loved or love isn’t only saying goodbye there and then, but removing them from your future plans that you imagined doing with them and forfeiting all the future plans you made with them. Letting go of the things you never had sucks. The future house,kids and just any plans. They don’t exist yet and now you’ve got accept it actually never will be now. It is so painful. You don’t really realise how intertwined they are in your life until its over. Take it easy on yourself. I made a playlist as I was going through my breakup it’s on my RU-vid account. I’ll make it public for you. Please please please use it. I honestly wish I had something like that when I was going through my breakup. Love you girl 💛 If you do want a friend I’m here for you just let me know if you wanna email back and forward. I’m literally here to listen if you need it

Don't worry I know this is tough but we are here with you and we love you :)

I'm so sorry Carrie, I hope you get better and have a normal life and not sad I felt that you had a sad voice and it just broke me. I just want to say that we love you ❤

Ilysm and am so sorry. You are so inspiring. I love how you keep your privacy but you don’t act like your perfect. I am only a few years younger than you and have watched every single one of your videos. I look up to you so much. You can get through this, I believe in you Carry. You have a great family and many good friends that you will have forever. I actually have Covid too. I feel you so much. You are so cheerful and honest even in the lowest of times. Again you are so inspiring❤️🫶🥰🫰🥹

I cried right there with you. This came at the perfect time. Your pain is so valid and I just want to let you know that you are helping so many people. This helped me so much.

this will make you stronger! much love

Oh my dear carrie .I'm so sorry for you . Please take a break from reading comments trust me it's best for you and feel free to have as much food as you like 😉💞 remember we're all here for you . Dont feel like you MUST post all the time take a long break 💕 you deserve it 💕💕

I'm so sorry Carrie, I hope you feel better soon! We all love You!!! And more importantly God loves you SO MUCH and that will never change! I'll be praying for you!!

We are here to support you

Carrie, I appreciate you sharing something so vulnerable.❤️ I’m sorry you had such a tough time.

STAY STRONG 💪 carrie!!

Its okay Carrie even though youre sad youll get better and just know we're here for you💖 Edit: 4 months later I hope you recovered💗

how could he break up with you? its his loss. stay strong carrie.💗💗

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in this video, Carrie. I’m so sorry you have gone through this tough time. Heartbreak is awful. But you are starting to come out the other side with grace, healing, and strength. I wish you the best as you continue to heal. ❤️

I want to give u the biggest hug! I have always picked at my acne too. Such a bad habit but could never break it.

I am so so so sorry Carrie, you are an amazing person and I know that you will find somebody so so perfect for you. You don't always find them first try. We all love and appreciate you Carrie, and no matter what you're going through, just know that 60,000+ people love and care about you. WE LOVE YOU CARRIE!

Im so sorry carrie. I love u. We’re all with you carrie, i wish i could give you a hug right now❤️❤️ i really hope you get better! You have helped me so much when i was going thru a hard times journaling reall6 helped me. I would never have started journaling if it wasn’t for you.

I’m so sorry. You are such an amazing person. I hope you get thru this. ❤️❤️❤️

We love you

I am so sorry Carrie!! We all love you and we’re here for you 🤍🤍

Oh Carrie ❤️ I know exactly how you feel. I went through a breakup a year ago from a relationship that lasted 5 and a half years. So if I can tell you anything, let yourself feel this pain, let it all out. The pain is meant to be felt. You will be okay, just take all the time you need to process and feel your emotions

You're not alone. You have our support with whatever happens. Stay strong and keep your head high! 🌹

Thank you so much for making everyone else feel better!

Awww...I'm crying so hard! We all love you so much Carrie and we'll always be here for you to support you in whatever you do!❤

I have also experienced a heartbreak before, and its okay to feel lonely. Its not always easy to be able to accept the fact that you have broken up with someone, but no matter what, we are always here for you if you need/want help or support. We love you ❤️

I feel your pain. I’m currently dealing the loss of a breakup. I loved him but, things weren’t meant to bed. I started journaling a day or so after we broke up. I know with time we will heal. Keep it up!

I cried while watching this. Stay strong Carrie! We love you so much! 💗💗❤❤

Stay strong Carrie, we love you sm 💜

I'm so sorry you had to go through this, and I really hope you feel better. Much love :)

Thx so much for taking the time to make this video despite the rough time your going through. We’re with you always, and no hatred goes to anyone. Sometimes it happens and we’ll be here for you every step of the way.

You’re doing so great Carrie and I hope you feel better soon- you deserve the world ❤️

Thank you for being so honest with us Carrie ❤

i’m so sorry that you are going through this

thank you so so much for this :(

Writing really does help you get through even the toughest times we love you Carrie ❤️💯

YOU’RE SO STRONG❤️❤️ I LOVE YOU

Stay strong girly, I think you'll be able to get through it. Just remember it takes time to grow :) Love you

Here for you Carrie! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable with us and just remember, future you is going to be so proud of you for getting through this.

I’ve been through it too. :( I’m so sorry that ur going through this. Just know that ur not alone and that we are here for u. I’ve been sad for Years from this heartbreak, so I definitely know how u feel. But just know that ur a strong person, u got this, u can get through this. We’re here for u ❤️💕. Btw: Also Hope u get better through Covid , I’ve also been through that too.