Jupiter Ascending (Starring Mila Kunis) Movie Review 

"I didn't see it."--Ben Mankiewicz

"If you crossed 'The Chronicles of Riddick' with 'The Princess Diaries' you would get this movie." Matt summed it up so perfectly!

I thought Alonso was going to destroy this movie, but ironically, ended up enjoying it more than everyone in the group.

Is it just me or is Alonso's face a weird carrot color...?

Fun to see a review of a movie is more fun to watch than the movie itself. I liked the critics riffing on each other: "You're dead inside." and "He's janking the score up." I would like to see more of that... reminds me of Siskel and Ebert in the good ol'days. I think the critic who didn't see the movie should be the moderator to make sure the other critics don't get violent with each other or get off topic by giving/taking personal insults instead of insulting the movie.

Ben doesn't watch anything.

So, is Ben part of the background now?

I saw this movie and it's not nearly as bad as critics are making it out to be. It's not GOTG, but kids will still enjoy it.

I'm with Alonso here. I can't explain it but I enjoyed this one.

What did Ben see this week?

SPOILER ALERT :Sean Bean do not die

The question on every one's mind: what way does Sean Bean die this time?

Fully endorse Alonso's suggestion that this should be a film series.

Saw this with my wife last night (her choice by the way) and Matt's comment about this being a cross between the Princess Diaries and the Chronicles of Riddick is almost spot on.

After hearing all the bad reviews of this movie, I fully expected to walk out of the theatre thinking that I had just wasted my time. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed it.Imagine my surprise being in the same camp as Alonso! I accepted it for what it was and had fun.

So many reviewers are saying that this is one of those bad movies they'd want to see again. Probably won't be seeing this, but it is making me curious... "I didn't know what the hell was going on but I had a great time" seems to be THE quote for the movie

Oh yea and my sis also said something like this after the movie: "I thought the beginning was bad, until Channing Tatum took off his shirt" LITERALLY SHE SAID THAT

Alonso darling, that is the wrong shade of make-up...

A beautiful mess of Jodowrowsky's Dune meets 80's Flash Gordon.

"You don't expect the Wachowskis to borrow from anybody else"... did she really just say that? The Matrix is lifted entirely from a few comic books, V for Vendetta is based on a comic book, Cloud Atlas is based on a novel, Jupiter Ascending is their first original attempt and it borrows heavily.

I don't know if this only happened here in Australia, but alonso's review was quoted on the back of the blu-ray cover haha

My biggest dream is that I will be on the show some time and just listen the other critics arguing, and when anybody asks me for my opinion I admit I didnt watch it. Dat feeling tho

Alonso is the most contrarian movie reviewer on the internet. He will rate bad movies good and good movies bad. Why the fuck do they keep him on?

I'm sure the Wachowskis didn't ask Redmayne to imitate Ralph Fiennes as Hades in those Titan travesties.

My thoughts while watching this trailer: "Can the Wachowskis just make a convoluted Anime, already?"

I wonder why flim critics exist? I think this movie might be to coplicated for most Americans

I cracked up laughing when I heard Sean Bean's voice

Can't blame Alonzo we all have bad movies that we like. For once it seemed like a critic that went into a movie open minded and enjoyed the ride. One can nitpick anything

when i watched a pre screening of this, A LOT of people walked out about 30 minutes into the film. also, every time the main bad guy said something (the guy who talked like he couldn't breathe) everyone laughed.

Alonso is in a very good mood today!

Matt make no sense at all. Why should the ships in Jupiter Ascending be different between the Daughter and Sons of the same Queen?

Alonso's hair looks great. I need Matt's shirt.

I loved it! The action, the characters, and the designs! It was all crazy and fun.

its not for old folks. this is for scifi/anime lovers. this film is the bomb!

Does Sean Bean die?

I love "Cloud Atlas".

Christy: "You don't expect the Wachowski's to borrow" ... where have you been in the last 15 years Christy? Matrix = Inspired by Ghost in the Shell V for Vendetta = Graphic Novel Adaptation Speed Racer = TV Show Adaptation Cloud Atlas = Book Adaptation In fact the last thing I expect is for them to not borrow.

This movie is a B minus through and through. I liked it and after all the panning I thought it would be much worse but I'm glad it wasn't. So... the problem for me with this movie was that there were no rules (sort of in the likes of what Matt was saying about the ship designs), basically if it exists it is probably in this movie: dino-gargoyles, lycan-elf looking creatures, all kinds of robots and android-ish type things, and the list goes on. The space opera world building is very well done in this movie but again there were no rules. Channing Tatum's rocket skates were cool but deep down I thought they were stupid and too cheesy to be taken seriously (and I really tried to play along with it), Mila Kunis was good in this movie, very solid acting, same with Tatum. I get what Eddie Redmayne was going for and I was really excited to see what he would be like in this movie but he overdid it with his character in my opinion, he sounded WAY too constipated, if he had dialed it down just a bit I would've been okay with it. Overall I still love the Wachowskis and this movie could've been much worse, unfortunately I cannot defend them when you start throwing in George Lucas comparisons, or even M. Night Shyamalan in terms of their falls from grace.

8:21 "You don't expect the Wachowskis to ever borrow from anybody else"...WTF? 8:50 Fail, that part of Cloud Atlas was directed by Tom Tykwer, not the Wachowskis

An 8.5, really? How many great movies has Alonso given a shittier score to than this?

I dont agree about the ship designs .... accept Aegis (if that was the name) ... all ships was own by the Abrasax family ... isnt it normal to be similar?

I hope BvS is as good as this movie.

Sean Bean doesn't die.

This movie was ten times as beautiful as Interstellar with a lot more going on.

This movie sucked soooo hard. like i wanted to laugh and cringe at the same time during the whole thing. i ended up paying money to have a bad time. thats never good.

"owns the universe." The Earth is not the Universe, last time I checked.

This movie looks like Battlefield Earth with better effects...

Is Alonso wearing make-up intended for a different race?

Agree with Matt that the ship designs were confusingly samey. As was the laser shield and roller skates (?) Tatum employed way too often.

From the trailer alone: Matrix in space

I didn't care for the film. I thought they were setting up a franchise as well, but the film itself felt like two films in one, one with Lord Prettyboy Doucheface as the villain, and one with Eddie Redmayne as the villain.

I can't defend this movie in the slightest, it's a bad film but I've got to say it's an absolute blast to watch

I think the tiny spaceships look like birds. The wings open and close, like a bird. They don't flap though XD

Does Ben Mankiewicz ever watch a movie they review ??????

So ben really doesn't do anything anymore

Alonso: Jupiter Ascending: 8.5 Kingsman: 4 wut

This type of movie coming out in February cannot bode well for the production company.

I think this movie was made partially based on the life of Jesus Christ, the savior of mankind. Jesus Ascending.

I'm with Alonso on this.

I want to see it. I have found there are a lot of movies I liked that critics hate and vice versa so to hell with what they have to say.

*SPOILER ALERT* I missed a lot of dialogue because my bf was snoring lol. I don't get how she was a princess. Or why evil dude hated and killed his mom. Or why she was created to look like his mom. Or why evil dude's... brother(?) wanted to marry her. But I didn't hate this. It's just pointless and missing something. But it's pretty to look at.

1:04 Caption: "gonna seeded by bro sex industry roughly 100,000 years ago" Lmao

looks pretty cool. also looks like Battlefield: Earth though. think i'll just watch Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion and Elysium again.

Fifth Element was EPIC

she is meg from family gay

I hope you'll do a reaction/discussion vid about the Game of (the ;-P) Thrones season 5 trailer! You did trailer vids before, after all.

I understood it and really enjoyed it.

It's fine if you liked the movie, but at least have some argument for it. As a reviewer, to simply go, I just liked it!, is pretty weak.

If this is similar to dune that's cool. I'm thinking about seeing this stoned in Imax. Will it be good stoned?

How unfortunate it is, when an opportunity to expand ones sense of possibility is met with a resounding tone of ridicule. When you limit your perception of what might be "real" or "possible" you show your level of conscious maturity. For a group of people that can not answer the 2 most fundamental questions in a humans life; Who am I? And how did I get here? None the less, the truth of human origin. I find it hard to believe that you could even begin to understand the metaphorical depth of that movie. So in conclusion, reviewers, grow the hell up. You're not monkeys anymore. It's about time you learn a few things about life. ... unless you're content absolutely wasting your life away in font of a movie screen, while learning nothing, because you have no context to put it in.

Bibbiani loved this movie. Gave it a 9/10 on Rotten Tomatoes

The sequel is obviously going to be called Jupiter Fell Into a Black Hole

Watching movie reviewers review this kind of movie is always hilarious, Give them a romantic comedy with renowned actors and they'll give it a 8 or more. Give them some action with lot's of special effects with cool details and hate ensues. The brothers do one thing that most don't do and I'll always enjoy it. If the bad guys didn't populate the planets to harvest them at the end, all the lives in between would not exist. Food for thought, which is better, never to exist or to exist with a time limit?

Alonso, you're great and hilarious always, but I think they grabbed the wrong foundation. Am I the only one seeing this? It's a yellowish-tan colour.

Ihaven't seen this yet, but Eddie's character reminds me of The Merovingian

Wait... Channing Tatum is a Mawg?

Alonso Duralde Jupiter Ascending ... 8.5 Warcraft ... 1

Thanks guys. I also wondered if the release of this & SEVENTH SON coincide with Oscar voting or not. These films demonstrate that J. Moore & E. Redmayne are just working actors like everyone else, and have to take jobs beneath their stature sometimes. Also, no coincidence that C.Tate's MAGIC MIKE sequel got promo this week. He was great in both 23 JUMP ST. & FOXCATCHER. On a roll...

Every time I see the ad for this movie all I can think of is Battlefield Earth.

I do like the looks of the Dragonkin... things ,_,

Matrix was nothing but borrowed material...

I'm with you Alonso. It has the makings of a cult classic. Fun and Campy!

Watched it loved it already knew how each of them would respond.

I know the movie has no real plot so why not enjoy it for the eye candy most of the times when I go to watch these movies I go for the special effects of course it would be a plus if it has a good script.

Wachowskiiiiiiiisssss! What went wrong!?!?

And wouldn't it be interesting if the basic story of the history of Earth, and how humanity came to be, is revealed in this movie. As a way to introduce the truth into the human zeitgeist, before they come. I haven't seen the movie to be sure how much it runs true.

Everything in this movie was taken from better things. Harvest from Mass Effect, Lazarus Pit from Batman, Chosen one from well everything, even boots from Shadow the Hedgehog. They even call it the 'verse. Just wow. Just go watch Serenity or play Mass Effect. They're both better.

I loved Cloud Atlas though.

I enjoyed the movie but this is the first time I agree with yellow shirt skunk beard.

this movie looks about as good as ............... i got nothing.

I just want them to make another Matrix movie.

Jupiter Ascending was the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater!!! The movie plot made no sense and a confusing storyline. I needed Morgan Freeman to come in and explain everything in two minutes. I was done with it within 20mins.

The trailer reminds me of The Fifth Element

the matrix was a doctor who rip of very little original in it. but very well done

This looks awesome actually!

Why am I not surprised? When you look at it even Matrix 1 had silly dialogue. Leter they turned it to 200 on steroids, in part 2 and 3. Maybe they should give idea and let real writers do the job? They are kind to shallow and have narrow view of the world.

"We've been taught that the birthplace of the human race is earth, but it's not." They lost me right there with this dig at the source of that teaching. Thanks for saving me the ticket money.

An 8.5??? HUH? Where did that come from? Are you sure you saw the same movie as the others? lol

I'm going to watch this, even if it is stupid.

WTF Eddie Redmayne was terrible how can they like his acting in this movie, and btw the movie was okay