This was the first time I disagreed with you, it’s his house too! He should have his own space but even his own space has stuff of his wife when it’s not even his
2nd story- dude could have done many other things. Get a storage unit, or put the stuff in the attic. Dont burn stuff that belongs to your spouse. Period.
@@nintendooverload1204 He fucking burned his mother in law's possessions because they took up to much space of his shared house. If you think that this is ok good luck being single for the rest of your life 🤡🤡🤡
Guy who went through wife's family keepsakes needs to get a lawyer because divorce is around the corner! What he did is purely out of control. I'd gladly help her bury him!😡
Also I am confused why Karen would go there.. my sister flies southwest and usually parents traveling with children get to board first so if there were other rows available why bother this poor woman and her son.
The last story reminded me of an incident earlier this year. I entered an elevator using one crutch for balance. I had a walking boot after Achilles surgery. Anyway, this woman gave me side eye and then snidely made some comment like, "Look at you with your one crutch." She smirked. I looked at her like the idiot she is and replied, "Well, considering I was in a wheelchair two weeks ago, I think I'm doing great with one crutch."
One time I was on an airplane, this Karen wanted my seat for some odd reason (I didn’t even have a window seat). I told her I’d switch seats…but not for free. I asked for $100. She squawked and gave me an attitude, so I replied with “Make that $300!”. She started screaming and making a scene to the point where they threatened to kick her off the plane. She calmed down and took her seat, but seethed for the whole flight.
Poster 2 needs to get counseling to save his marriage. I had a similar situation, and my ex took things out of my deceased Mom's house; burned, gave away, pawned or auctioned anything he had at hand. That was the tip of an iceberg, cus it only got worse from there.
That story about the (#02) mother’s things was horrible. If he was THAT concerned, he should have rented a storage room for her & empty the house to gain his space and save those things for her. She could take the time to grieve, then sort when she’s ready.
The one with the mom who passed away. My DILs mother passed away and almost 2 years to the day. (Like 8 days later) her dad passed. She asked if we could come and help sort things. (Her dad was kind of a hoarder). So we went and spent a week helping them sort and clean. I worked with her. And dad worked with our son. When she wasn't nearby, I would make a pile of things and ask her when she came back. She was pretty good about tossing stuff. The husband in this story is an entitled jerk. And should be totally ashamed of himself. Some people need a long time to Grieve.
Oh yes, waste money on a storage unit for useless things in this economy.Keep jewelry, keep some purses, keep maybe a book or two, and some pictures and throw the rest out no need to hold on s*** for almost 8 months collecting mold and dust because you can't move on. Also my mother died about four to five months ago and I'm over it, because I have to move on, life doesn't stop and lot of you speak from couches in your mother's basement and it sickens me.
I am so happy to hear OP got totally chewed out by AmITheJerk for throwing out wife's mother's things. Obviously, OP does not have close relationship with his parents and cannot understand it but actually you don't need to experience it to understand it, only need to be patient because it has just been only 8 months.
Oh that husband is going to have all the space he needs once his wife divorces him. My ex lost her mom to cancer and it has been years and she is still sensitive of the topic. I even went out of my way to not talk about my mother (Our relationship is toxic but realistically she is the only active parent in my life) out of respect for their relationship until she started talking more about her dad so I shared a bit more on my mom. I tiptoed around her for 2 years, OP could not wait 6 months. Like I said to my cousin after his 5 year gf left him "This kind of BS is why she dumped you".
If my husband had thrown away things, I had brought from my Mother’s house and burned anything made of paper, I would have felt so betrayed, the marriage would have been over!!! Maybe he didn’t like the boxes being there, but to just destroy things, when she was out of the house - well that’s all the trust gone!!! Yes you are the jerk!!!
The husband should have rented space in a secure storage unit instead of burning his wife’s memories. He’s a donkey’s behind to the Nth degree, and I hope his wife found a great divorce attorney.
OP could have done anything other than burning or trashing Mil's belongings. And then he would have been a lesser AH. But, no. OP had to turn the dial of disrespect & malice up to 11.
Whoa! That guy who went through his wife's family's things and decided what was "useless" and what wasn't is probably in Top 10 Biggest AHs on the internet. If I were that lady, I'd be talkng to a lawyer about divorcing that guy. The fact the says he knew she would be upset an did it anyway, says it all. She'll be moving on all right, without you. I hope she gets his precious home in the divorce.
@@RandomCheeseFiend I know, right? Who is he to decide what is important and what is useless? It's not his family's things. I don't wish bad things to happen to anyone, but since he loves his space so much, I think she should get the house and he can live outside where there's LOTS of space.
@@lauraodonoghue1348 I don't think he realized just how awful a husband he made himself out to be. He gives details like how close his wife was to her mother and that it's only been six months since she died. He said he knew what he was going to do would upset her and did it anyway. So, basically, he's saying that he's supportive of his wife's grief, but the time limit of his support is 6 months and then his support ends and he's going to decide what of HER family's things are "useful" and trashing or burning the rest. Now, naturally since it's not his family none of it means anything to him, and, from his description, it sounds like he burned or tossed most of it. Now she has the loss of her mother and the loss of her family's things to deal with. Way to go AH husband. 👏
Story 3: Oh boy this is a massive cultural barrier. As an Indian i can totally see how foreigners see this is weird but this is soo normal to us. So yeah you're not the jerk (kind of) but u should absolutely talk with ur partner.
@@InteriorDesignStudent yeah i mean if u have that context of indian families then you will get it. If not it's just weird i can understand the OP but she fucked up by not talking without her SO.
I dont think so. She said that her bf is also from India meaning is Indian aswell and she just doesnt like them around 24/7. But if she were Indian and lived in US her whole life then i agree with you
Story #2: OP YTA! You acted like you were a supervillain. You burned her paper memories. You threw out the rest. Now she is truly alone in the world. And that is your fault. There is nothing you can do to make it better. OP, you're the cause of the demise of your relationship. It's over. You will be lucky if she doesn't sue you for damages. And, intentional -wanton -destruction of another person's property such as photos, letters & mail, etc. Story #3: OP us eight. Relatives should give notice. You both need to be open & honest with your partner. Communication is super important. Set boundaries together. That way both of you can live happily together.
Story 2 .. OP's mom in law hated him cant deny why he burned his Mom in law's stuffs .. a daughter's mourn will never end specially if they are very close .. 🤧
Maybe he burned papers instead of tossing them in the recycling to ensure his wife wouldn't dig them out of the bin and keep them. He cared more about his space then his wife's need for time grieve and go through the things when she wasn't so emotional.
@@rebekah.2187About the papers Depending what information are in them it's safer to burn them. Often will the identity of dead people be used by criminals.
@@kevintull3302 I doubt that was the reason because he said he burned anything that was paper or like paper. So, he burned all of that and kept what HE deemed useful. It wasn't for him to decide. He's a massive AH.
@@rebekah.2187 I don't wanna comment about that stuff. I only wanted to give an alternative reason to why someone would burn papers. Andaybe the husband is an AH but the wife is an Idiot. With the stuff everywhere in the home she will never get over it. She will get constantly be remembered on her. Don't get me wrong, she don't has to forget her but she will also not get over her. So I see in the future for them a (maybe) divorce and definitely Therapy, a really looooong therapy for the wife. And I talk from experience. So sorry to maybe disappointed you but in my eyes (again because personal experience) I have to say everyone sucks. The husband AND the wife!
I don't understand why the husband did not just move every box to a storage unit pay for the first three months and tell the wife she would have to pay after that and give her time to make her mind what she was going to do with it. He is the jerk.
We don't know the financial situation, for starters we don't even know if he could pay for the first 3 months and another thing is we don't know if the wife has a job, yes her name is on whatever document that is needed for her name to be on, but it doesn't mean she has a job. A lot of married couples do that even if one of them doesn't have a job. I'm pretty sure they probably would have done that from the get-go if they could afford it to. Considering so many factors to be honest the guy did what was right for him and for her. Some people will literally never move on unless you do it for them.
@@Tiredofitall901 no you're just someone who hasn't lived life enough to understand you got to move on and it ain't healthy to be around people who can't move on.
Story 2 My opinion on this "Ogre" of a man is not good 1st of all he burns his wife's things that she got from her mother and bins other things just because he doesn't have enough space secondly, he thinks its ok to do this and seriously tries to stay in his house with his wife thinking he has done nothing wrong when he has possible destroyed everything that his wife owns from her mother. Seriously that is the worst thing I could've ever imagine happening to someone so yes he is 100% the jerk.
Having lost both my parents within weeks of each other. I ended up with all the things my mother collected, my grandmothers’ collected, great-grandmother, and great- great grandmothers stuff. Yes it was a lot of stuff. It took years to come to terms that it all ended with me. I finally sorted and disposed of most of it, keeping those items that I had memories of. This isn’t something anyone else could have done. So I totally understands the wife’s position on her husband disposing if her mother’s things.
U can't put a date on grieve. My spouse passed last year. And I'm yet to sort through their stuff. Even though I don't break down as much anymore. There is still good days and bad ones. It doesn't matter weather it's a spouse or parent or child. It hurts a lot. And u have to give time to heal.
The husband destroyed any paper (that wasn't pictures) that could be holiday cards, Letters from family, childhood work, possibly even stuff from much older generations. He got rid of things HE thought were worthless: there could have been handmade sentimental items, things brought from trips or homelands, family heirlooms that might not look impressive but mattered to the family. She is the last of her family and now she has basically nothing and she can never get it back. I would never have been able to trust this man again. Now the grieving process is going to be so much worse. If he really thought she was hording he could have had her go to counseling before going literal scorched earth. As for the last story. Unfortunately this boy is going to have to deal with this kind of attention for the rest of his life. The parents are going to have to work to keep his self esteem up. Their is no one way to do this but it will help to teach him how to tell the difference between genuiane concern, childish curiosity, simple ignorance, and rude entitled people who can't mind there own business.
Story 2: that guy is definitely a jerk, she was not ready to move on like that yet, as i have had a very close relative pass away recently and i get what its like, he is definitely the jerk in that situation and he should’ve never touched anything that meant something to her.
Story 1: if i was the couple i'd have told the karen "i will mind my own business when your business stops affecting me, because you are yelling and making me unflcomfortable"
Yes you are the jerk. I understand that she wants to keep some things to remind her of her mom but you can't force her to do it And what you did is unforgivable, I wouldn't be surprised if she divorces you
That Guy In Story 2 SUCKS And Is A HORRIBLE Person I Can Almost Kinda Understand Her Pain My Mom Has Metastatic Breast Cancer And My Dad Had A Heart Attack Last June. And My Grandma Also Died Of A Heart Attack I After That I Was Kinda A Hoarder Of Her Stuff But No This Bad. Still Even If I Did It Make Him Seem Even More Like A Jerk. I Can’t Imagine Throwing And Lighting Items On Fire Just Because It’s Too Much Just Put it In A Room And Sort Thru Stuff. Can’t Imagine Someone Throwing Away My Grandmothers Thing And Lighting Her Papers On Fire. His Wife Should Divorce This Monster.
No actually in india it is pretty normal as we give big importance to family if the (bf) john and op would have done the same to the family members they woudnt have objected either rather welcomed them with open arms
I fly “Northeast” as well so I can vouch that Karen’s don’t usually fly on “Northeast” because I fly frequently for my sisters sports and just travel in general.
Story #3 In South Asia, we consider every cousin a sibling. So,we end up having 10-25 people to call sibling. (You get the idea,we're extremely family oriented). So much so that we let any relative come in our house, even without them asking prior. And yeah,it is a massive part of our culture.
@@JamesDavy2009 I grew up in a colony in india where everything is uncle and aunty but after my fathers retirement we moved to our village where no realtions are consider and everyone calls them (pinni)mothers younger sister,(peddamma) mothers older sister etc like who cares about relations
Mother's stuff: My mom passed in 2017.. finally, in the spring of 2023, I was able to look at her stuff without crying my eyes out. OP, YTA! You can not put a time limit on grief! My husband handled each pc while I looked on & said what to do. He never would have just burned & thrown things away.
terrible husband if it was such an bother he could have just rented an garage box or something like you see in storage wars but nope he ahd to be an complete asshole by it I hope she dumps his sorry butt
The stroy about the husband cleaning out his wifes items 1: i understand how she may feel 2: if theres so much stuff you cant even live in your own house then this is hording
Story 2: OP IS the jerk for throwing out his late MILs things after a few months. He should have paid for a storage unit then WITH HIS WIFE sorted what goes to storage and what gets tossed. When my wife of 47 years together (31 married) passed away it took me 5-6 months before I could dispose of her medications. Later, i was able to go through clothing and jewelry, etc. Grief has a very personal timeline, and a few months is not long enough.
If he wanted the space back, he could've rented a storage space and moved all that stuff to storage until she was ready. It's only been months. MONTHS. not years, but months. What a jerk.
to the apartment man. I say get your things and find your own place to live and when you are ready to move get a few friends to help you so it can be done quickly. at the end give John the key back and give him a "dear John" note saying goodbye.
On the last story, while I agree that the OP should have walked away, that rude lady needed to be scolded. Good on them for standing up for their son. 🙂
The second story is horrible. “Its been a few months” tf????? Your wife lost a PARENT, someone who raised and contributed to who she is. And the fact it was her only parent left, and possibly growing up it could of just been her and her mom, she probably had a huge attachment with her mom that could possibly take years to fully grieve.
story 2: the OP is a horrible person. His wife had no more family left and she wanted to keep stuff that was very close to her, I might think she was kind of in a depressed zone and her husband had made her sorrow worse. Even if it were stuff you can get from a store, It is still valueable to his wife. He broke her trust with her just because some of the stuff is “useless”. Could’ve atleast asked if he could do that, not just “oh these things are useless let’s put these things on fire” even if she still said no, respect her choice.
Story 1: Start your part of the conversation with , "NO!! I WON'T MOVE!! I paid for two seats. Go get a flight attendant or take another flight.!!" And no further interaction.
Story 3 - Um, No. It sounds more like his family is the problem. Showing up all the time letting themselves in, absolutely not. She may have moved in with him but it's her home now too so she is not wrong. Story 4 - It is a rarity Everywhere. They're more worried about happy customers and money than their employees. " the customer is always right." Complete BS. I'll never do a job working with customers. My thought when it comes to customers is "shut up, pay for your stuff, and get out." Like, they came to this given store for something so get it and leave. Don't talk to anybody don't start any problems.
Story 3 - In India, we do not have such boundaries. In fact, it makes us feel extremely excited to come home and see our cousins over, cooking something for us. It might vary but in general, that is the case. That being said, I can see how someone would be uncomfortable with this arrangement. OP was not in the wrong for feeling that way but she was for lashing out without having a conversation with her boyfriend about this issue.
On Story 3, you're as much of a jerk as the OP because you clearly do not understand the cultural part of this. You honestly sound like one of these disgusting white nationalist types who says shit like, "Well, this is America, not India, and we do it THIS way.". No. I have many friends from that region. This is absolutely beautiful and part of the way they live. She should have talked to him first. If he is paying the rent and his name is the one on the lease, it is his place and she has no right to say or do anything without speaking to him first. Technically, since she is his gf, she is a guest in his home. If she doesn't like it, she can up and get her entitled ass out!
3 - IT'S THEIR BROTHER'S HOUSE. She moving in her BF's home doesn't mean his cousins don't have a right to be there, he and only him can decide that and he clearly wanted them there.
The second story. WTF. He's definitely the jerk. Grieving can last longer and shorter. Just because it's now month doesn't mean it has to stop. Maybe she'll need years. And throwing away is one thing. If the big trash cans weren't emptied yet, you could still get them back out. But literally burning stuff, just because it's made of paper? She can get the thrown away stuff back at will, but the burnt stuff is literally destroyed. What if there were things she would have wanted to keep, after being ready to sort it out by her own? Heartless jerk.
The husband who went thru his wife's belongings and threw out & burned things is the biggest AH I have ever heard of. You are so much more than a jerk. I can't think of much worse disrespectful behavior. Just because you determined something to be worthless doesn't mean she did. I honestly don't know how you can fix this if it all. It will very hard for her to overcome such massive disrespect. Why didn't you just suggest renting a storage unit?
Story 3: OP is a massive jerk here. It is HIS apartment, not OP's. This is a cultural thing and she needs to respect that. If she can't handle that, she needs to just GTFO. She has no right to dictate anything. If she wanted to sit and discuss the situation, fine. But to literally just go over his head, massive jerk move.
Story 1: Lets take it from his opinion, his shed was full, 1/4 of his office full, cupboards and shelves full, so makes he wants to get rid of stuff. But what he did was wrong with burning without permission, but he just wanted breathing room so I don’t think he is in the right but he is not totally in the wrong.
Okay, about your video’s thumbnail, I saw that video, and unless there is other content I haven’t seen that woman wasn’t being a Karen. She was frightened by something that happened off camera by her seat and got off the plane, but she wasn’t demanding anyone else be removed from the plane or being violent. She did make a scene reacting to what scared her, but then left on her own. Maybe this makes her a little irrational and possibly mentally ill, but it doesn’t make her a Karen, and I think you might be the jerk for using that picture. If there is additional video I haven’t seen showing her being violent or demanding, I retract the above.
S2, Op your wife wasn't ready to get rid of her mother's belongings and you destroyed your wifes property . Op the photos and dishes could have been passed down through the generations ,the paperwork could have been useful if there was any problems with the inheritance in the future ,if your wife was the same size as her mother she could have intergrated the clothes and shoes into her own wardrobe over time .Op you are the asshole for disrespecting your wife .I'm surprised that you haven't gotten divorced yet ,you destroyed her memories of her mother .
My story: I got my friends family into legal action when it was Mt fault, so I was with My friend call me l and my friends (2) j and h so I was watching j make a trap to catch cats from a abandoned house my friend j got some birch bark and I played hide in seek at 3 in the day I passed by a guard dog and he mutilated my arm and this happened like 4 or 3 other times and dog wasn't put down my injury got it put down and I ran to my house my parents freaked out was in a ambulance with my plush that was a plush of my own dog and we got to the hospital it got bandaged up so it didn't keep showing and got in and then I had to go to a hospital got water asked for a popsicle wasn't able to get it cause I needed to go to a new hospital for stitches about 26 and 2 other areas that got punctured I got a cool blanket and I'm still a kid and if you are worried I am fine and my stitches were dissolvable cause it was gonna be too hard to take normals out but I am fine hardly any trauma and parents thought I was gonna be scared of my dogs I've had 3 when they were puppies and I've been with them.oh I forgot! The legal action that 911 was called we got a lawyer met him but didn't speak much and they got in court I don't think alot happend
The person in story 2 is a horrible husband, like why would you destroy your wifes family thing's like she was grieving for along time but that is no excuse to burn all her things like that guy might actually be a narcissistic because he didnt even care that he destroyed so many things like people grieve for along time but that is not an excuse to do horrible things.
Story 3: Move out. That's too many keys to give out. Related or not, Hell No! Who TF in their right mind want people in and out of their house when they're not home?! Probably going thru your stuff and eating up all your food! Who doesn't have a key???
IT'S THEIR BROTHER'S HOUSE. She moving in her BF's home doesn't mean his cousins don't have a right to be there, he and only him can decide that and he clearly wanted them there. Unlike USA we don't think like that about family.
The person who threw away his wife’s things is an absolute jerk and idiot because a lot of people have different healing points with grief and depression like myself and this is crazy if I was in this situation I would’ve find better places for the boxes so my wife didn’t have to get mad at me so yeah
*Story 1:* Talk about crazy! How does a person *"deserve"* a particular seat on a plane? Unless they have a boarding pass and a ticket to this seat, they have no right to the seat. Why she refuses to move to another seat on the plane is beyond me.
2nd story was good i would the same thing because you dont need that garbage he is not jerk we boys/men do so much for everyonr and no one asks how we are doing we are pressured and the man from 2nd story did keep the photos and other important things he was not the jerk
1st story…😥not the first asshat I’ve heard bullying a mother on a plane and threatening to get kicked off. It seems kids and dogs cause Karen’s to go crazy. I have so many stories from a friend who has travelled with both and witnessed the sheer stupidity of the Karen species.
I always imagine the Karens in these stories being redditors themselves and they post their stories thinking everyone will side with them because of how they see themselves as always right only to get torn apart by the internet
Yes. The husband is a jerk. It doesn't take months to "get" over it. It can take yrs. I even kept small post it notes with her handwriting. Slowly over the yrs I starting throwing things I really didn't need. Now I every now and then find her old phone diary, even some postit notes. No body other gets to decide that it's time to move on. It's been 12 yrs.
Story #2- when my mother died it took a while to process & sort her things. Wound up donating alot to her favorite goodwill. Wound up keeping the family piano & the mismatched china. Sister kept the 2 complete china sets & family photos. Wife bugged me constantly but at least helped sort the stuff.
What kind of jerk destroys his wife's belongings, just because he wants some space? Burning paper items when you could put them into storage, is a first class a-hole move, interesting how she can't kick him out because it's his house too, that means its also her house and she can store her mother's things there along as she needs to, hope she divorces the jackass and takes him to the cleaners!
last story. I had a very dear friend who had a head deformed from birth and he was blind, but he was beautiful inside and very intelligent (masers degree). One day he was walking down a street and a woman approached and said very snotty, "YOU SHOULD BE DEAD". This hurt my friend greatly but he comely replied, "I am sorry o have disappointed you" and walked away. "Cover your face", I love it... I do suggest that if you do not yell, but say it calmly it will put them in their place nicely and hey usually are stunned long enough for a getaway.
Story 3. Reader, your comment was ill-informed and off-base. We have no way of knowing if the OP knew any of the stuff his family does was going on before she moved in and saw for herself, so how would she have known to discuss it with him? Bf is the one who should have thought to bring up the situation to OP when they considered living together. He knew his traditions, OP did not.
Never, ever get into an argument with an idiot on an airplane. Produce the boarding pass for the flight attendant and don't say another word. Let the crew handle the problem. If the passenger with the boarding pass gets into an argument with the karen, you BOTH might be removed from the airplane so the ground crew can deal with it. Never risk getting on the wrong side of the crew. It's the captain's airplane and he can have everyone involved removed by security. Simply sit quietly with your boarding passes and let the karen show the world she's an idiot.
the second story the OPs the jerk hard core. you NEVER do that when your spouse is grieving the loss of a love one, that's for her to do and even if she never get over it he needs to except that and be there for her in her time of need. and if by chance that house is filling just build a storage place in the back yard or something... and if it really means that much to the guy sit down and talk to her and compromise something like maybe tossing out the smaller not so important and keep the heirlooms. i think the most important thing here is and forever will be compromise. since he did that behind her back i wont be surprised if she divorced him bc of it and i wont blame her ether. that's a line you should never cross when it involves loved ones.
This is literally, honestly, the most literally honest thing ever! I mean, in my literal honest opinion. 😬😬😬😬 I think those are AITJ favorite words....
Last story even though I don't like babies and small children I would only tell that mother "You have an amazing child and I can tell his mom loves him no matter what and will only encourage him to chase whatever dreams he will have. Because society is stupid and there's nothing wrong with him or people like him." And then I'd walk away because my job of making her day better would be done and my anxiety would probably be firing.
