This! I have lost what i called my “bonus grandfather” i haven’t got any grandparents anymore, I lost my “bonus grandfather “ last year and this will be the second christmas without him and i still miss him everyday, Grief is strange thing specially around the holidays, But so glad to know that we here are there for eachother❤️ I lost my last grandmother 10 years ago and it will get abit easier but it will never go away, take care❤️
I’m reminded of a Bastille lyric: “I have written you down, now you will live forever” Through sharing this in your vlog, your aunt will live forever through you and now us as well. From someone who is grieving a lost one too, thank you for sharing her with us ❤
So sorry for your loss, it’s not over sharing at all. I lost my dad last December, his anniversary is next week and I’m struggling. I think I was still in shock last Christmas and I know I’m going to find this year harder. He loved Christmas and made the best Christmas dinner. Sending big hugs ❤
“To grieve deeply, is to have loved fully” ❤️ Your grief is a beautiful sign of how wonderful your Aunt must have been. Thank you for sharing such deep emotions with us. This is my first Christmas as a parent, and even 12 years after their passing my heart aches that my grandparents aren’t here to share these special moments any more but, as you say about your Aunt, they are always with us. Sending so much love ❤️
I never comment on videos but just want to say thanks Mark for sharing what you're going through with your Auntie. I have gone through exactly the same thing these last few weeks and attended her funeral Monday. Been the hardest time & Christmas is even more difficult during these times. Seeing you crying in the car has been a mirror image of myself so big love and thanks for the reminder that we are not alone in these things. Please continue to share any ways you help yourself to get through it all.
I appreciate you talking about how difficult Christmas can be for a lot of people. There's so many people having a hard time during the holidays and very few people acknowledge that. Sending you tons of hugs Mark. ❤
just loving vlogmas so much this year, mark. you’re doing so great and bringing so much joy. this is my second christmas without my dad and in a lot of ways it feels a bit harder than that first one. i’m doing all the christmassy, festive things but everything feels a bit lackluster, like the brightness has been turned down. you are always safe to share your grief here in this space you’ve created. sending you so much love & hope your auntie sends you lovely christmas signs so you feel her all around this season❤
Hi Mark! 🎄 I’m usually a silent watcher but just wanted to say how great it is to have someone share who is going through something similar. Grief is a weird thing and is totally normal feeling to go through the ups and downs. I just lost my uncle in August whom we were really close with. He was always the life of the party and will sure miss him this Christmas. Listening to you talk has definitely helped ❤
I love your transparency, I have just found out my Dad has Cancer as well as dementia, it’s hard, you voicing your pain will help you, I am old and appreciate that I now have the knowledge to know that saying it out loud makes a huge difference. Carry on being you, you are real and loved. X
Thank you for talking about this. I lost my mom in September. I can't even get my head around it. She was a healthy 78 year old who was so let down by the medical system. Always remember to be your best advocate. I know this time will be hard but it's okay to share the low times. Your aunt sounds like a lovely person. She must be so proud of you Mark!
Grief is love with nowhere to go. Feel it when it’s heartbreaking and feel it when you’re happy. It won’t always hurt. Thinking of anyone dealing with hard things.
I lost 3 grandparents in the last 18 months, this year is the first Christmas that I won't be sat round my nan and grandads house, it is now empty. Teared up buying Christmas cards because I only had one nan to buy for. There will always be those moments. I'm sorry you're going through it too. Much love xx
Hey Mark! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable about your grief for your auntie. I also have lost someone very close to me, my mom, and seeing your videos has really helped me not only come to terms with my grief, but also helped me sit with it and remember how amazing my mom was. Your aunt must have been an amazing person to leave everyone filled with so much love for her. Christmas is always a difficult time for grief, but your vlogmas videos and your openness about who you are and about your aunt are helping so much, more than you even know. Thank you so much for sharing!! ❤
So sorry for your loss mark, I lost my auntie in 2019 and it was so hard she was crazy funny and the life of the party, sometimes feels harder to lose someone so full of life and that pain never goes away but every Christmas we have a brandy and Diet Coke (her favourite) and you realise how lucky you were to have such a special person in your life ❤️ Thank you so much Mark, grief is so tough (especially at Christmas) and it’s so refreshing to get your genuine and raw thoughts and feelings on it. Loving this vlogmas series, you’re smashing it 🥹🎄
Thank you for sharing your grief, I lost my grandma (day before Thanksgiving 2021) and cousin (December 4th,2021) a week apart from each other 2 years ago and it’s so hard… I appreciate you for being so open it brings me comfort
Thank you so much Mark for doing vlogmass and for being so open and honest. I lost my grandad three months ago and still can't believe he isn't amongst us anymore. The holidays will be so weird without him. Missing him more and more everyday. And always will thinking extra about him around this time. That indeed is real life. thank you for being you!
I completely get how you feel Mark and I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my Auntie in June this year too and I still have days where I think she’s with us still and maybe it’s because I don’t quite want to believe she’s gone as it’s so painful. Seeing you share about your aunt gives a lot of comfort to know we’re not alone and we are all struggling with things in some way or another and it’s good to allow ourselves to let our emotions out when we need too. Thank you for your videos and always being real 🩵
Thank you for talking about grief so openly. It means the world to those of us who are having similar experiences. It feels like being seen and reminds me that we are not alone in our grief but part of a community of others trying to get through. Loving this vlogmas! Can't wait to see what the rest of the month has in store.
i’ve been watching your videos for about six years now and i can’t express how much you and your content means to me. i’m so so sorry for your loss, my nannie passed away 12 days ago, i’ve been so close to her my whole life and i still can’t process any of it. i’m turning 18 this month and i don’t know how i’m gonna do it without her, but hearing from you that i’m not alone means so much. thank you mark, sending love.
Oh Mark. My heart breaks for you. Thank you for being so open and candid about your grief. Stay strong and know I am praying for you 🙏🏻 I know your aunt is in Heaven smiling down on you and sending her love to you.
Your not over sharing at all I really appreciate it my dad passed away three years ago and I wish people would talk about grief more it helps me at least to talk about it and hear others talk about it. Sending you love mark your very wise 💕 xx
I'm a newer subscriber, but from the first video I watched, I was immediately compelled to keep watching your videos. You're such a sweet and GENUINE human being. Bless you Mark Ferris 🩷
I’m so sorry for your loss Mark. The first holiday season without a loved one is so hard. Some days you’re fine and others you just can’t cope. And it’s so surreal to see that the world just moves on when you feel your world has come to a stop. Time will heal the rawness of her loss and allow you to look back on memories with a smile. Their loss never goes away but over time you cherish the wonderful memories you have without the pain of them not being there. Thank you for sharing your life with us and being so raw about it. Honestly found that talking about the loss helped. My Grandpa passed around Thanksgiving 10 years ago, we still miss him but now we chuckle at how he would act around the holidays and honor his memory. You’re doing beautiful hun! ❤
Merry Christmas from Canada, Mark! I'm a silent follower, but I have been watching you for years! Grief is a strange thing for sure, and you're not over sharing at all. I lost my 21 year old son to Epilepsy in September, and he loved Christmas, which is making this holiday season very difficult. But I've decorated as usual and added a special little tree just for him, as he wouldn't want us to not celebrate. And I'm sure your auntie is glad that you are celebrating as well. Lots of love ❤️
Please keep sharing your grief journey, I love seeing it! It’s normalising it and makes my heart so happy (not because you’re sad) to see more people taking about grief ❤️
Mark I can’t thank you enough for being so open in this space about your grief❤️ I lost my aunt two months ago and it was my first experience with family grief and you talking so openly has honestly made me feel less alone in the grief I feel. I can’t thank you enough for being you in this space ❤️ I’m sending all my love and hugs to you.
Awh mark, grief really is such a weird and awful feeling, I think it never feels real they’re gone, it’s 5 years since I lost my grandad still everyday it shocks me I will never see him again. You got this, keep talking about your auntie, she would want you to be happy and carry on being your authentic beautiful self 🤍 sending love xxx
Seeing you share the REAL parts of life is honestly so refreshing and comforting. This is why I love your channel Mark, your authenticity and openheartedness is such a rare thing to come across on RU-vid these days. What a gem you are Mark
I’m sorry for your loss 🩷 it’s really not easy but I’m glad you’re willing to be vulnerable for us in hopes to give us comfort. My gran was the magic at Christmas and she’s been gone for 10 years now. Nothing is the same, we try to celebrate in her memory but it just doesn’t feel the way it used to. My heart breaks for anyone who struggles during the holidays where everything is bows, sparkles, laughs and you can’t relate. ❣️❄️
Thank you so much for being vulnerable. It brings peace and comfort to know that we aren't alone in our struggles. I don't have any kids of my own, but I love my niece so so much, as much as it seems your aunt loved you. And I hope to be able to provide the love and joy to her, just as your aunt loved you.
This is my first year without my dad and grandma. Both of them brought the family together for the holidays. I still have no idea what this holiday will be like. Thank you for sharing your greif. It's helpful to be going through it with you each day.
I'm absolutely loving Vlogmas so far! 💛Ferris, you are smashing it!!! You bring such a realness to RU-vid & social media and it's so refreshing. Thank you for making my day brighter 🥰💫
it's been 30 years since my mother passed and today I felt quite emotional while making ornaments for my Christmas tree knowing if she was here she would have been with me making them with me. Sorry for your loss, holidays change the more loved ones we loose.
I love how open and vulnerable you are with your grief. I lost my grandpa three years ago just a few days before Christmas and it’s been the hardest thing for me because I feel guilty for being happy around the holidays without him. Thank you for being a light for people going through hard times
I appreciate you talking about it so much. Christmas is normally my FAVORITE time of year, I watch Christmas stuff year round. But this year I lost a few family members and someone who was my top three most important people and so Christmas has been this thing that I just want to be done already. I felt like no one really understood how f-ing hard this is. Hearing someone actually talk about it helped so so so much. I feel so much better crying with you, thank you thank you thank you thank you 💕
Talking about loss is the best way to get through it! And this made me feel so much more closer to you! You keep things real and that is what makes you an amazing person! 24 years ago i lost my dad to suicide. And i still to this day cry when i think about him even though the memories with him is starting to blur! But i still miss him!❤
Lost my dad in may, first xmas without him. Christmas is cancelled for me i cant even deal with it, cant stand the decs, the adverts, the music. None of it....and i usually love it . Love to you hunny, your vlogs are really bringing me so much comfort in such a gloomy time xxxxx
I’ve lost my aunt last year and it really was devastating but I understand that this is life and we can’t stop things from happening. It’s ok to not be ok. The first year will always be the hardest. Be in your feelings and let it out. So sorry for your loss. Sending you big hugs and love.❤
14 years without my mama this December. Thank you for being honest and sharing your grief. ❤ Sometimes we forget how many of us are carrying these feelings alongside the Christmas cheer.
Oh mark, seeing you so upset over your aunt made me quite emotional! It never gets easier without your loved ones, in July it was 10 years since I lost my Nan, I lost my grandad in the February of the same year, my other Nan 3 years later and my grandad nearly 5 years ago. You learn how to live without them, but like you said you keep on going to make them proud! Christmas in another reminder of how precious family is, but making memories with those who are still here. Love ya ❤
I’m usually a silent viewer, but I just wanted to say thank you Mark for being real and authentic, it is so refreshing in this fake social media world. Loving your vlogmas! ❤
I lost my dad in August and the things you mention are very relatable. The still not believing they are gone and then when you get a moment and realisation kicks in it literally takes your breathe away. Thank you for being raw and honest, being the first Christmas without my dad and finding it really hard. This is refreshing to hear and see I’m not alone in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs x
it's so nice in a world where everyone pretends to be someone they're not, where most people only use social media as a highlight reel of their life, to have even just a tiny corner of the internet that you know will always be a safe place with someone who will be honest and real even in the dark times - thank you for being that person mark, you're not oversharing at all, the world needs a little bit of realism sometimes. sending you all the love and hugs this christmas
As an auntie myself, seeing you crying and grieving is beautiful and heartbreaking. I am so sorry for your loss. But I am so glad you two loved each other very much and her love and legacy lives on in you.
Thank you for sharing Mark!! I lost someone this year too and talking about it is so helpful and it’s also nice to know we are not alone in feeling grief.
So so appreciative of you, I lost my aunt 5 years ago and the grieving never stops, you learn to ride the waves. Keep talking about her with your friends and family 🤍
Thank you Mark. Third Christmas without my Grandad, eighth without my Nanny. Grief still catches me off guard. Sending love and strength this festive season✨🫶🏼
Never feel like your oversharing things that make you feel emotions that are anything other than happy, because being vulnerable is so scary but you getting it off your chest and letting out the feelings you feel is so normal and healthy. You help so many people online and in personal day to day life by opening yourself up because it shows us that we can also do the same and not be ashamed of being vulnerable about thing that makes us all feel emotions that aren’t ‘happy’. Your amazing Mark and you are everything your auntie could have ever imagined you’d become and more. I’ve lost a close friend around this time 4 years ago and it gets easier but also you will never ‘let go’ if that makes sense.. it’ll never seem real but time goes by and as humans we learn to adapt to the huge change .. doesn’t mean you stop caring or loving that person. Last week I also lost a man that changed mine and my older brothers childhood and was a step in dad for a couple years and he sadly passed from cancer last week. And even though my mum and him split up around 15 years ago now, doesn’t make it hurt any less and its totally fine to feel vulnerable sometimes and let out how you really feel as bottling it all up sounds easier but has really long lasting effects and in the long run could make you feel worse. Love you Mark, keep shining lovely x
Mark, I'm so sorry for your loss! Even more heartbreaking at this time of year as well. We're here for you. On an unrelated note the comic store reminds me of a shop near me named cool merch I love it for not only the loungefly stuff but for anime merchandise and music merch
Thank you for another lovely vlog Mark. So sorry about your Aunty, but talking about her all the time will help heal the pain. I've lost both my grandparents many years back and still find Christmas hard. Stay strong, we're all behind you❤
Thankyou for keeping it so real this Christmas. I am usually the most festive person you could ever meet around this time of year, but it’s my first Christmas in 7 years that I won’t be spending with my boyfriend. I’m grieving the loss of our relationship and it’s so hard! I’m still trying to enjoy Christmas as much as possible but I’m definitely having down days where I miss him so much 😢. Your videos are a joy each day that I look forward to ❤
Mark, I want to thank you from The bottom of my heart for being so real and authentic with us this Christmas! All though it’s so nice to see someone’s highlights / exciting moments during the holidays- for some it’s not always so joyous. I’ve been struggling the last few Christmas’s having lost my auntie as well- who was VERY much like an older sister and my only best friend. Please don’t ever apologize for going through something so difficult. I wish I had this when my aunt did pass away. I had never felt so numb and lonely- but to have this now and also seeing you push through and still enjoying life as best you can is just HEART WARMING and so SO incredible to see.❤️ love you Marky Mark!!
Dear Mark, I lost my mum three years ago and it still hurts... I understand you. You are so brave, kind and beautiful human being. I am sending you love and appreciation from Slovakia. And huge hug ❤
I lost my grandpa in May and the holidays have been really rough. He was my best friend and I’m not ready for Christmas bc I know he won’t be there. I’m so sorry about your aunt, i love you and your videos❤️ You’re so real and I love it🩵
Thank you for showing your vulnerability in Grief, people never really show that... So appreciate that, dreading this year first Christmas without my dad. 💔lots of love to you and your family xxx
Someone once told me grief is like a pendulum. One day your ok, then it swings in another direction and your angry, then another day you can be sad. I lost my Dad 11 years ago and sometimes I think oh I must call Dad ! Then I remember I can’t. Grief looks so different to different people and different days. ❤
I'm sorry for your loss Mark. ❤ You don't know how much your rawness meant to me in this video. ❤❤❤ I'm going through my own grief and it's strangely comforting to know someone else out there is having a hard time like me. Everything reminds me of them. It's beautiful but at the same time, the sadness is debilitating. It feels like a really messed up time. Nothing makes sense. I hope you heal from this loss and things start to feel a little better. ❤
You talking about your auntie is making me emotional because I was watching old “vlogs” of my auntie from like 2004 before she passed and it’s so nice to see her face and hear her voice at times like this ❤
It's been 14 years without my dad during the holidays. This is when I think of him the most cause Christmas was his favorite. I'm thinking of you and your family during this holiday season ❤
we lost my grandma around this time last year and i still can't believe she's gone. thank you for sharing this mark. your positivity and realness helps so much
Thank you for sharing your feelings. It comforts me being the second year without my cousin and my uncle. It’s still a wonderful time but very different and difficult without them ❤️
i'm so sorry for your loss mark. glad you have spoken about grief during christmas time. i lost my grandparents along time ago but i miss them everyday. i miss the simple things like popping around for a cuppa and having a natter ♥
Arrrr mark 😢 you made me cry love watching your videos wish you could do vlogmas all the time I look forward to watching your videos your such a real person xx
Thank you so much for your rawness and vulnerability during this. My soul dog had to be put to sleep last Friday. Christmas definitely feels so different this year.
Thank you for being so real mark you are not over sharing at all❤️❤️❤️❤️ I lost my grandad beginning of the year with my autism and anxiety it been very difficult for me you have helped me so much and I am so sorry for your loss xx you are my inspiration and hero xx
Exactly remember the joy and happiness a loved one brought us , I was a mess losing my mam , but I know she is with me every day , the only girl out of 4 children , , you are the best mark , always remember that ❤
I’ve been a silent viewer for years but today I just wanted to thank you Mark! I really appreciate you sharing your feelings, I lost my grandma this year and I feel this so much! So sorry for your loss and sending lots of love your way 💗
I’m so sorry for you loss Mark. I lost my grandma three years ago and I still think to this day she’s just away on vacation and she will be back. Grieving is a very strange thing but I know you and I and everyone else who is missing someone so important to them will get through this together ❤❤❤
Hi mark, I haven’t ever commented something like this but you make me feel comfortable to do so. I found out yesterday that my nanna has early signs of dementia. My little sister struggled with the news and it dawned on me that I’ve never gone through grief or anything like that before. It’s so scary. However seeing you be so strong, embracing the tears, and being your earnest self throughout that vlog gave me so much reassurance that things will be okay. Reminded me of what I might be capable of. Please keep doing your thing, lots of love x
Thank you for sharing Mark. I lost my grandmother in June and she was more than just that to me. She was also my best friend she held our family together and made every holiday special. This is my first Christmas without her. I’m devastated, but watching your vlogs is helping me. Thank you, continue to be authentic you’re finding the right people. 💕
Thank you for sharing the harder parts of life as well. I lost my uncle this past summer so I feel like I'm going through the same thing as you right now, where it just doesn't feel real sometimes. Sending you so much love and all the hugs ❤❤
Thank you so much for sharing, and normalising grief. I'm 38 and lost my Dad less than two years ago. This is a hard time of year for it. I'm so sorry for your loss, and let's get through it together xx
Love you being honest about how hard Christmas can be❤ A lot of Vlogmas content seems glossed over and yeah that's fine but sometimes keeping it real remindes us to be patient and empathetic towards ourselves and each other especially at this time of year. Thank you, Mark❣️
Hearing you talk about grieving during the holiday season is so heartwarming and makes me feel not alone. It’s the first Christmas since my parents separated and it’s so mixed emotions. It’s my husbands and i first Christmas as well. It’s also the 3rd Xmas without my husbands mom who loved Christmas. Thank you for being open about grieving and processing 💕
Grief comes in waves and sometimes when you least expect it. I lost my dad 7 years ago and I still have moments of grief. I turned 30 last month and I couldn't help but think it's a shame he isn't here to see me hit 30. But I know I'll see him in the next life. Sending you lots of love Mark, you're such an authentic human 💜
I genuinely never comment but I just want to say that you crying and allowing your emotions to come through IS you being strong & to share that on camera gives strength to so many others!! I just hope that when you get upset you remember how much strength it takes to allow yourself to feel that 💫
I’ve been so thankful for your vlogs ever since I started watching years ago, mainly because of how honest and genuine you are with us. It feels like FaceTiming with a close friend! I hope you know how loved and appreciated you are. 💛
This hit me. My sister passed away in Sept and though most days I do ok certain moments and memories just hit me. Sending love to all those who have lost anyone they love. ❤
I completely understand what you are going through Mark, my older sister passed away 3 years ago & it gets easier but the pain is still always there. You just have to live on & make them proud. The first year of holidays is the hardest but you will make it trough. Love you ❤️❤️❤️
Thankyou for this video! Honestly relate a lot 😢 lost my uncle who was like my best friend 3 years ago and spending the festive period which includes my birthday without him is heartbreaking :( You’re not over sharing it’s refreshing to hear, love you Marky x
I’m struggling with Christmas this year, I have a toddler who is incredibly excited for Christmas but at the same time my mum is very poorly and feel we are on borrowed time (I lost my dad when I was young) so I feel torn between trying to keep it magical and a happy time but I’m feeling anticipatory grief too, so mixed emotions, which in itself I’m finding exhausting on top of it all. Thanks for the vlogs Mark, it really takes my mind off things which is great! 😊 sending love to you and family too x
I hadn’t even realised that it was our first Christmas without my grandma this year until I’ve been watching your vlogs. With her having dementia we all felt we went through grief when she lost herself and more so felt relief when she passed. But realising that she won’t be here at all this Christmas is definitely a strange feeling. So Thankyou for being so honest and open, it makes it not so lonely xx
Mark your never over sharing, you are such an incredible person, I love that you want to keep it real and I appreciate that, so never say your cliche or think your over sharing, and I am so sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss mark 💕 its always hard for my family around this time as well . I always say just be kind to everyone , you never know what a person may be going through . Hugs to you 💕
Thank you for sharing Mark. I lost my dad a year and a half ago in a sudden violent accident and life has never been the same. Dad was the love of my life. Everyday I live without him is the worst day of my life. Christmas is a horrific time for people living with grief, it highlights family time and it highlights whose NOT around the dinner table. Its pressure to be happy and for it to be the most wonderful time of the year but for people who are in the depths of grief this is not reality. Thanks for sharing your pain because I feel that too, and I think speaking and being truthful about grief is a really important life lesson because no one can escape it. Lots of love xx
Mark, I really just want to say how much this meant to me and how much I needed this reminder. I’m telling myself everyday my Grandpa is with me and your Auntie is there with you too. And she’s so proud of everything you’re doing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🤍
I'm with you in your grief, Mark. I lost my granddad in 2017, my grandma last year and my step dad in June. I don't really have a relationship with my parents, so my grandparents were the only parent figures I felt truly loved by, until I met my step dad 10 years ago. My granddad was such a huge part of Christmas time for me, and he was my favorite person in the world, so I know how hard this time of the year can be after such a huge loss. By the way, you ARE strong for being vulnerable and showing us your emotion, and it is totally understandable that you are struggling and that's okay. I'm sending you so much love from all the way down here in New Zealand. ❤
