Koco's Journey: Why I Chose Not to Join the Jehovah's Witness Religion 

Indoctrination runs deep! Took me YEARS to disconnect from this religion after being in for 40 years. On my moms death bed she begged me to “come back to Jehovah”.. I HAD to say no.. I couldn’t be a hypocrite. I know I broke her heart.. but as an adult, we have to be ADULTS & realize we are not under our parents CONTROL, just as we aren’t under watchtowers control!! I left watchtower 25 years ago & Koko is not alone .. when us Ex’s leave, we have so much to learn.. it’s a journey! Watchtower took a lot away from us, but we win & they lose!!! 👏👍

As I was listening to her explain why she never got baptized, I thought, WOW, at her young age, she was an actual critical thinker. She saw through the lies, Good for her.

I’ve been watching this channel for a few months now and I can honestly say you all have helped me. My aunts shunned me, constantly called me a worldly child. Now at the age of 43 I’ve been able to release and come into my own. Thank you so much

I so appreciate this / didn’t realize how bad off I was / got baptized at 14 under duress , the pressure was incredible / I’m 50 now and walked away 3 years ago / best decision ever

My situation is very similar, I was born into the religion, in 1968 April 7 and April 8th I attended the memorial service. I walked away when I was 15. I studied for about 2 years in my 20's but when I went to the kingdom hall so much anger came alive in me, I couldn't do it so I stopped. So I was considered a back call. Because I never got baptized they were able to talk to me (easy recorded time). But this religion has haunted me my whole life. I always thought I was the only one in this situation. Now thanks to you tube I know different.

I love this interview!!! Same thoughts about various things. Only thing is, I was pushed to get baptized at 16, faded, got the call of "Can't talk to you" and "Now, I can talk to you" and gave the response to my mother. this interview made me laugh and cry at the same time. Thank you for sharing!

Koko was born-in but never got baptized. Koko is smart. Be like Koko.

Lady Cee and JT this was an awesome, awesome interview with Koco. 😲MG, the PTSD and FOG "fear, obligation and guilt" is so strong within this organization. The three of you are truly changing lives! Please continue to tell others the REAL TRUTH about this toxic organization/religion. It's helping people to wake up!

I'm not sure if I have ever related to someone as much as this. Same reason for not getting baptised, going out in service and just pray no one comes to the door. Everything! I wanted to be included too.

This description of Koco's childhood is 💯 accuracy to mine. Everything she has discussed is exactly the same feelings and fears, I have gone through. The dynamics of the mother daughter relationship is exactly like mine with my mom. My mom too, would give me the silent treatment. When I had left at 22 years old, I had only been baptized for one year. I never wanted to get baptized. That was not my plan but I did it for my parents , my mom especially. To make her happy. I am now 50 years old and I just recently came to the understanding that it wasn't my job or responsibility to make my parents happy. Each of us are responsible for our own happiness. What a heavy responsibility that is for a child, to be in control of someone else's happiness. That kind of thinking and treatment is abuse , plain and simple. But it's crazy , because even at my age, I still have that cringe factor as she described when the gospel music came on.. as if it were my responsibility to make my parents comfortable . I also think that maybe some feelings of guilt are thrown in there' too. Because as long as my parents are JWs and not fully awakened, they will always sit in judgement of me and my choices for my life. It's those unspoken words. Because you know what they are thinking. And fact of the matter is that our parents are the first people in our lives, the ones we learn where our identity is . In the first few years of life, we learn what love feels like, we learn self worth, and self esteem. We base the opinion of our selves on the projection of how our parents see us. So when our parents view of us comes from a distorted place, dysfunctional , and love based on conditions , that programming is engrained in us. So those fears, and coping mechanisms are automatic even in adulthood, even when we KNOW better , we revert back to that child whenever we are dealing with our parents.. Something Koco said , about her Mom, ( I forget exactly the content) about how she " should have said something" but she didn't, in regards to standing up for herself, but she sank into that automatic response , when her mom said or did something ... I just want to say, don't be hard on yourself. Many times I've wanted to speak up, question my mom's actions and words but I kept my mouth shut. And I still do this . I choose my battles . Sometimes it's better not to say anything. I know no matter what I say, my mom will never see things from my perspective. So I let it go. That doesn't mean that I'm not still healing and growing and deprogramming myself from my childhood. Just having the awareness , in certain circumstances is good enough. ❤️

Man, Cult PTSD is a real thing. Even with those _not_ baptized like Koco.

Koco is a beautiful person. Your mom is lucky to have you as a daughter. I’m just as afraid to offend my mother because I don’t want her to cut me off. I know my mom loves me but I have no doubt she’ll choose the religion over me. I also left the religion at 18 as an unbaptized publisher, refused to withhold blood from my preemie and lost her for ten years. I’m now an RN and doing well and she is in my life. I’m scared to lose that.

It is amazing to me……the number of people who can relate to the feelings KOCO expressed! This religion has hurt so many people. It is a shame. KOCO THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STORY. I HAVE SUBSCRIBED TO YOUR CHANNEL.

First, I want to say that I am forever grateful that I found the Critical Thinkers channel. True Face channel (another lovely couple) is how I found Lady Cee and JT . I found the channel at a time in my life where I was wide awake, but looking for a positive EX JW community. This channel has been such a blessing. Second, I have made lasting friendships as a result. I am so thankful and I know this is divine! Koco Koco Koco!! This is one of the best interviews on the channel! And yall have TONS of them. Her story is SO relatable. So many parts I can relate to and I have similar experiences!! Her story is going to help so many people!! What I want to comment on specifically is that her mom was hurt by her getting baptized - but not as a JW. Me and my siblings are very successful and we are really decent, good people. Yet, we "left Jehovah." This prevents my parents from having real joy with their family and adult children. There are moments, fleeting. But it always goes back to the JW way. There is no love in this. But this is what those 8 men in NYC have orchestrated. And it's not really about deep faith and pleasing God. It's about the perception and how things look. JWs are laser focused on how they present and how things look and putting people in categories. Koco is truly a wonderful daughter and I know that God is pleased. I also believe her mom sees her strength and courage and probably admires her choice to live her life on her terms. It takes tremendous courage to share her story in this way. I have so much respect!! Thank you for sharing!! This has helped me and I have no doubt she will touch many lives with this!! Thanks yall!!

I so relate to Mrs. Koco. I never got baptized either and her reasoning was my reasoning also. I would love to meet her one day.

There’s another ex JW who basically said unbaptized publishers should basically “stfu” cause don’t know what it’s liked to be baptized. Well I grew up in a red neighborhood and never “joined the gang” but I was still guilty by association and had to take the same precautions as someone who joined. I was like a mafia “associate”.. just because I wasn’t a “made man” or Italian doesn’t mean the “mob” aren’t your friends and you still have to participate in “mob rules”. Even the term “friends of ours” is a mafia term that JW’s use. “The friends”.. you’re only a friend if yo abide by their structure.

I can also relate to feeling like an ex JW outsider because I didn’t have any family in the religion a lot of people think that I’m better off because I can talk to my family but the struggle and ptsd from the organization is still the same for me yes I can speak to my family but them not understanding what I go through is a challenge in it’s self no matter what category you fall in if you had any contact with the religion you have baggage

This resonates so much for me. I have the same issues with my mother, which is part of the reason I am PIMO. All of this was good. I felt this.

When I heard Koco talk about her awkwardness at receiving help from others at about the 9:00 minute mark, I could relate. When I get something from others, I immediately think about how I'm going to pay them back and feel guilty. It's amazing how much our adult behaviors are affected by this upbringing! Now I'm going to go back and look at the video you mentioned. Peace and blessings!

Koco you are a great daughter, never change who you are.

Shun your children if they don’t subscribe to this organisation but when the parent is ill the same organisation will instruct that same person to seek out their children for assistance. Koko’s mother was in a better position in her circumstances because her daughter was smart enough not to get baptised so she had a decent relationship with her daughter throughout. As for the silent treatment that Koko got as a child that was a logical extension of the shunning policy by her Mother. The JW lifestyle is so busy that you do not register that you take these behaviours into your home without question. So many great points in the interview!

I remember the old arrangement. I just started turning in time as a child . There was no such thing as unbaptized publisher. My sister was read off under the old arrangement as a pregnant 12 year old. 6 months later the elders returned and said ‘well , since you are not officially an unbaptized publisher under the new arrangement, you are in effect “off punishment” ‘ But of course the friends still treated the whole family as bad association. That whole issue of putting a child victim of rape on reproof is a whole other issue. I’m so glad to be free of Watchtower tyranny!

I loved this interview. Totally relatable. The part about growing up in the religion, family relationships, imbalance of power that JW parents exercise over adult children. So many truths in this video. I'm happy Koco is finding her way out of the FOG. Thx for this video!

Subscribed to Coco's channel. Thank you ! Fellow unbaptized publishers unite. 🤜🤛

That girl is phenomenal! She needs her own podcast too. Thank you so much. ❤️❤️❤️

Deception wouldn’t be deception if you knew you were being deceived. I’m glad she is able to process what the JW high control organization is all about and was able to get out!

Koco thank you. The unbaptized publishers are having it tough, the talks in the Kingdom Halls can be a pressure when the elders/overseers put a spotlight on those who are in the congregation and are not baptized yet. The baptized publishers doubt and look down upon those who are not baptized in the congregation, especially the born-ins or those who have been in the Organization for a longer period.

Unbaptized publishers went through the same thing their fellow J-Dubs did.

I love this woman! I wasn't ready! You got me at 15:32. The struggle is real! 🥰👏💐

I really enjoyed this interview and Koco is an authentic person. I kinda got reflective when you were discussing “being accommodating”. I come from a family of non- JWs who would accommodate me and my beliefs as a JW. They would have family gatherings around Xmas time but not on the 25th of Dec., and they wouldn’t put up their decorations or talk about the Holidays just so I would feel comfortable. I’m the same and I still want to be an accommodating person because this is who I am. However, communicating that we are willing to accommodate without believing is important, as well as explaining that being accommodating for others is also important. If Koco’s mother appreciates her being accommodating, then maybe it’s a Christian quality to accommodate others even if we don’t have the same belief system. If Koco can have this conversation with her mother, maybe she won’t become so uncomfortable when another situation occurs in the future because her mother will know that her daughter is making an effort to accommodate everyone present and not just her. That being said, we need to think of how will feel as well, because we count too. Just a thought! ❤️.

Thanks for this amazing interview! Koco’s sweaty palms episode made me realise how I always try to accommodate my young JW colleague. Whenever certain situations come up, I wonder how she might feel. Why, though? 🤔

Same here....I never got baptized either. Thank Goodness

Absolutely loved every second of this interview! Her energy was intriguing and she truly pulled me in to want to learn and hear more. My attention was on point for every word!!!! Excellent guest. Please have her back. I will definitely follow her channel.

Why do they take so much PRIDE being different…but not different for any important reason. Ie. Kingdom Hall? Why not just church?

Excellent interview!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Awesome video and an amazing guest!! "Reach back and grab someone as your leaving" I love when she said that! ❤🤗💪🙏👍

I love Critical Thinkers.

Thank you lady.c and j.t i can relate to this I went through the same thing

Koco you are SO smart! I was 9 when my dad made me go to a neighbor's house for "free" bible study and that is how I got sucked into the JW black hole. I had many of the same feelings as you did but did not have the courage to resist the pressure to get baptized. I am glad you didn't waste your life on that nonsense. Fortunately, I left in my early 20's and have a had a GREAT life without the shackles that the JWs put on people.

I really appreciate your experience CoCo…. Thank you for sharing. Whew talk about the anxiety this religion smothers on people emotions is ridiculous… and they have absolutely no guilt, in fact they feel entitled…keep Rocking Sis! 🥰

Thank you CoCo for your experience I agree I was disfellowship from Jehovah's Witness.

TO JT AND LADY C___I'VE BEEN CONNECTING WITH YOU FOR A WHILE AND I'M VERY THANKFUL FOR THE INSIGHT YOU'VE GIVEN ME IN REFERENCE TO WT AND ALL OF THE DECEPTION___THANKS

This was so fascinating ..Thank u both..I laughed and cried and felt so much joy and gratitude for everything I'm learning here.

I was baptized at 16 and disassociated at 19. I had no particular zeal for getting baptized, I just had no good reason not to, and it was obvious the expectations were mounting. Being baptized didn’t make a whole lot of difference to me leaving, other than I had a bit of trouble convincing the elders I was serious about leaving and getting them to accept my DA letter. Looking back I see my teenage baptism as an obvious result of being raised that way. It never meant that much to me personally, it was just a thing you were expected to do.

I mean this from my heart, I love and appreciate this channel. Saved my life and future generations ❤. Thank you Koco❤

Happy Holidays Respect from #Detroit/San Diego

This was theraputic!!! Thank You.

I've never been baptized and I'm being shunned because I was pointing things out on JWORG that were contradictions.

Very incredible, informative and enlightening interview!!!! Great job JT, Lady Cee and of course my lovely Wife & Queen Koco!!!!

I miss my mom, may she rest in peace.....I have no one in my life who can walk in her shoes.....(closeness like her and my relationship).

I absolutely love this interview. On the point of music I now say to all who don't share my taste on music forget you. I love hip hop I bang it hard in my car sometimes I pull up beside JWs I look over nod and continue to bang. I no longer apologize for who I've become. I know I am a good person I don't need to let an organization tell me what I am.

There's layers to the layers!! As JT says it's hard to get away from those labels Watchtower place on us, we've all been deeply affected by the indoctrination. I'm very glad you guys have been doing this series on unbaptised witnesses and I can so relate to CoCo's deep need for acceptance.

Koco ,J T and Lady Cee God is going to bless you brighter and brighter. Be Brightly Blessed and continue to let the little light of your shine.✌ Mery Christmas.

Excellent as usual. Thank you.

Excellent interview as always‼️ Thank you JT and Lady Cee‼️🌸

Watchtower has Destroyed so many Lives

Hey ExJW Unbaptized Publisher (AKA Koco)! Love your channel. You have a very calming presence, which is rare.. I heard you mention Lady Cee in one of your last videos and was pleasantly surprised. Can't wait to listen to this, 'cause I know it's gonna be good!💕

I am open to new understanding. I am no longer restricted from a Spiritual prospective

Koco, Lady Cee and JT: great interview

Thanks for sharing your story Koco!

Excellent

Wow… for years I thought I was the only one feeling like this . I was torn between right and wrong . I was very intuitive about something not being right in that religion. I was very alert to the outside world and was baffled when non witnesses where so loving and not fake and felt more genuine towards me to where I would think satan was that good to send them as decoys to push me all the way out of jehovas grace 🙄 I too felt I lost many opportunities in my youth so I could have a better adult life .

Great interview...very impressive that she wasn't a witness yet she had all the characteristics.

40:23 - "Is it not sad how accommodating, how accommodating we are to people who would never, ever be accommodating for us." - This is a statement that I frequently say.

Excellent interview, thank you for sharing this video!

Rebellion brings freedom always. Not rebellion against God, but against fellow Humans.

It is interesting how puny humans cut deals with this big invisible guy in the sky. Koco's mother, "If you help me get out of this situation, I will serve you for the rest of my life." He is omnipitent, omnisience and another omni. He dont need nothing from us earthlings.

Awesome Interview as is all!! Loooove you all.

THAT SONG BY KIRK IS CALLED STOMP

I noticed that most Christian cults avoid the New Testament as much as possible. They’re always quoting scriptures from the Old Testament. It’s like they’re afraid for people to learn the truth about Christ. And that’s because the teachings of Christ will contradict everything the cult teaches.

Great interview, love you all, thanks.

Wonderful interview. Thank you, Koco, for sharing. I disassociated myself and got disfellowshipped, but I was also caretaker for my aging parents who were still PIMIs, so I had a relatively normal relationship with my parents. I didn't miss the other witnesses. But many of them were kind to me because I was taking care of my parents. But if I wasn't, my parents were supposed to not talk to me. That is so ignorant. Oh well. Have a blessed day everybody. HERE'S WHY THE NUMBERS ARE GOING UP AT THE MEMORIAL: The parable about the vineyard workers is about Jehovah's Witnesses. An hour is 7 years, so 11 hours is 77 years, which is counted from 1914 to 1991. The first ones in get the penny for a day's work. But from the third hour forward, the workers are not promised the penny but "whatever is fair." This created two classes after 21 years. That is the third hour was counted after 21 years. Add 21 to 1914 and you get 1935. In 1935 a second class was recognized, the so-called "other sheep" and the earthly class. So the two-class system from 1935 to 1991 is recognized in the Bible. BUT... note that after Christ returns and he begins to pay the workers, which started at Passover of 1993, ALL THE WORKERS got the penny. So in other words, after 1991 there was just one class again, the heavenly class. That also meant that all the other sheep were now getting invited into the heavenly class. Now it turns out that the very informed newly anointed ones also know that that since Christ's first passover after his return was in 1993 that he ENDED THE PASSOVER IN 1993. So they don't partake. But apparently some of them are not as informed and don't realize Christ returned in 1992, but they still feel of the anointed and so they still partake. Hahahaha. So in reality, even though the number is increasing, there are many, many more of the anointed not partaking! Of course, per Isaiah 6:13, the root of the tree remains Jewish and that makes up one-tenth of the whole. So in reality, the root is the 144,000 and the whole tree is made up of 1,440,000 saints. That's the true number of the heavenly class. So this anxiety over the 144,000 is a semi-false teaching of the Witnesses. The 144,000 are just the natural Jews in the kingdom, 12,000 from each tribe. So there is plenty of room. In fact, per Bible parables, there is so many seats left in the kingdom, Christ has to go outside Christendom to fill al the seats, which is wonderful. Anyway, that's what is really going on.

Commenting to help the channel. I’m a never-in and an atheist within the last two years. ✌🏼❤️ to all. What a lovely lady. ❤️

I just appreciate your content so much

This interbiew struck home for mr. Thx Koco! As an Unbaptized publisher i wanted an education....and thats when i started questioning why Jehovah would want a congregation of dumb, illiterate or just socially ignorant people? How were we supposed to eat and or have homes? Then, 1st semester in college, i prayed, apologize to God for being worldly and reluctantly walked into a church....thats when i KNEW either J Ws were lying or God was a mean.cuss. Thank you JT and Lady Cee...yall are helping. Us frfr!

I was born into the JW religion, never baptized but still experience the same issues as Koco. My mom would tell me how the end would come as a thief in the night so as a child I couldn't sleep because I was afraid the world would end while I was sleeping and I felt I needed to be ready. It's still hard for me to go to sleep at a normal time because of this fear that was embedded in me as a child. I slowly stopped going to the meetings in my 20s. I did not realize I was being affected by religious trauma with all the anxiety and panic attacks I was experiencing and didn't know there wasn't such a thing. I'm nearly 50 and just now realizing why I have anxiety and panic attacks. Having a narcissistic JW mother has very damaging but I am working on healing and have no resentment towards her, it's been a journey. I have to remember this: "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." -J.C.

Great interview. Thanks to Koco for being honest, vulnerable and relatable. I have subscribed to the channel and can’t wait for more Koco 💖💜💚

Yes Tue and Thursdays I still hate those days

Great Job 👍

Koco, love your shirt message ! Your message is spot on ♥️ Keep spreading the love and testimony ♥️🥰♥️ Another great interview JT and Lady Cee 🤩

Hi JT, think you might be interested. Yhere is a program on internet called Jehovah Witnesses worldwide. Run by an ex JW. You can participate by answering questions or ask questions or make short contributions. Many new to the organisation witnesses dont know this and we have a good change to feed them with information Regards, you are doing a brilliant job

what 3 beautiful beings. Thank you for your video. i can 100% relate!

You have to set yourself free.

I got beautiful selections of traditional Christian music for mom to listen to because she was very sick. Even though I grew up in their religion. I never really paid attention to the lyrics. As an adult and an inactive witness (while taking care of her), I did pay more attention to the lyrics and found most of them absolutely beautiful. Of course, in the back of my mind, I felt I was breaking the codes for JWs. I am so glad now I was able to give to her something that was so meaningful and soothing for her. Of course, I am in a completely different camp now- listening to former evangelical preachers who have become atheists and scholars who researched the bible. Ralph Ellis, Einhorn, Carrier, Erhman, and MythVision you tube video, etc. Totally incredible. Would like to get a BA in a study of it. But it might become redundant and beyond my means. Some of these evangelical pastors had gotten "saved", "born again" at a young age and were totally committed. I was totally fascinated by this group of individuals. Apparently, many clergymen have become atheists. But the years of commitment, friends, family, as well as income. keeps many in. Still believe in something greater out there- I hope is a positive force in this vast universe we are part of.

I did the same thing and never got baptized.

I just want to thank you JT and Lady Cee. Your channel is helping the JWs with doubt to not feel like we are crazy and makes it so much easier for us to leave. Keep up the good work.

Thanks!

Great interview with a wonderfully relatable person! Thank you!

I grew up as a Jehovah witness and got baptized l am no longer active in this cult I wanted to make a comment on this part of this interview about witnesses helping each other and they don't help each other.

Thanks for sharing your story Koco

I love this so much! Kind of disappointed I thought I invented the pretend knock and doorbell ring. I also ran into kids from school at the door… So horrifying. Glad I can laugh about it now. Thank you so much for doing this interview. So wonderful ❤️

Do you have any news/Information about this: „In two child abuse cases litigated in a US district court in Montana, plaintiffs recently filed identical motions for sanctions against Watch Tower PA, Philip Brumley (General Counsel for WHQ/WT) and Joel Taylor (Associate General Counsel for WT), accusing them of lying to court and vexatiously delaying the case“

Love e u guys doing a good job

You clearly felt/heard the Holy Spirit urging you toward baptism, and you belong to The Lord, but not to a church. God bless you , sister. 💗

Amen she's right on point

Excellent video. Excellent points. Such as: Going out of your way to do good things for people and wanting nothing in return is foreign to JWs; although it is the very point of the Good Samaritan parable.

Yes, I now play Kirk Franklin.

I am so glad that she still loves God...

Mission Impossible....your assignment, if you decide to accept it is to become one of Jehovah’s Witnesses but never, ever speak against its Governing Body even when it is horrendously wrong time and time again. I can’t believe I just said that! This message will self destruct ! 💥

Oh JT…preach it brother! We are so accommodating to those who wouldn’t worry one second about what we think! 😢